


Cosmic Boy

by dickren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, NSFW, Slow Burn, Teasing, ben is a pos and teases a lot, lots of fuckin angst, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 210,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickren/pseuds/dickren
Summary: After switching middle schools, young Ben Solo lands his eyes on who he never expects to be the love of his life. After a four year separation of having to move away with his father, you and Ben are reunited your senior year of high school, only to have an emotional ride that intervenes with the true feelings you two feel for one another–but there’s one major problem, you’re already with somebody else.





	1. A World Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: A World Alone by Lorde

There was nothing more soothing than the sound of morning rain pattering against a glass window, echoing throughout the four walls as the gloomy sky gave the early hours an evening vibe. It wasn't enough that the rain made things relaxing, but the fact that the early fall weather made the air feel much more cooler--enough to bundle ones self up--you couldn't help but fall deeper into your sleep.

That is until you heard a frightening clap of thunder which startled your unconscious soul awake. Flinching in your spot as your eyes flung open, your heart throbbed rather harshly against your chest as the sight of your clock was the first thing in your line of vision. "7:30?!" You shrieked, shoving your sheets off of yourself. "Why do I have you for if you don't work?!"

Taking in a deep breath, you rushed around your room, gathering your school uniform and backpack, brushing your teeth as you shoved your books into the bag. It was a bad habit of yours, sneaking off to watch the bike races go down in the forest where your parents had strictly advised you not go to (especially after being caught _twice_ with your best friend, Poe).

"Y/n, honey! Your breakfast is getting cold!" Your mother shouted as you rolled your eyes. You were around thirteen going on fourteen year old who could batch up your own breakfast, but your mother constantly insisted she'd do it herself.

"Yeah, yeah!" You spoke with a mouth half full of your toothpastes sudd, rushing back into the bathroom and rinsing it off, swiftly peeling off your clothing and taking an almost three-minute shower, refusing to be the slightest of dirty.

Hopping on one foot as you pulled on your crew socks, you simultaneously brushed your hair--it was a pain to keep your hair decent. "Honey, come on, it's 7:40!" Feeling your heart pound against your chest, you swiftly slid your feet into the loafers, pulling on your school jacket before tossing your backpack on.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Rushing down the stairs, you nearly triped over your cat who had been comfortably lying on the step. "Aw, come on, Jupiter!"  You exclaimed before darting to the kitchen.

"Woke up late?" Your mother arched an eyebrow as you took in deep breaths.

"H-how can you tell?" You smiled, standing there with one hand on the strap of your bag as the other held onto the the toast you bit into that you took from the plate on the table.

"Your shirt is buttoned all wrong and your jacket is inside out," She chuckled as you looked down, toast hanging from your mouth as your hands hovered in the air.

"Oh man..." You muttered, removing your bag and dropping it as you took off your jacket and flipped it back to normal, tugging it back on as you fixed the buttons on the polo. "Good?" You placed your thumbs up as your mom nodded with a smile.

"Good." Picking up your bag, you pulled it over your shoulder and quickly scarfed down the breakfast. "Don't eat it so fast, you'll get a stomach ache-"

"Mom, I have fifteen minutes to get to school, I gotta." Hearing a ruckus of footsteps, you rolled your eyes. "Anyways, I outta go-"

"Look who's gonna be late again!" Having your path being blocked by a pair of boys standing with their arms crossed, you rolled your eyes at your twin brothers. The two looked identical to one another, hair styled in the same form and color, with the same eye color--except one was slightly taller than the other and one had slight freckles.

"Y/n, dearest...you start high school next year, you should be getting used to waking up on time." The other spoke as he crossed his arms, nodding his head.

Sighing, you pushed past them through the middle. "Good morning to you, too, dirtbags."

Hearing the two snicker, your mother shook her head. "Ty...Jay, leave your sister be." She sternly spoke as her sons sighed, taking a seat on the stools.

"We do it out of _love_ ," Ty spoke up.

"We mean no harm..." Jay bowed his head as your mother rolled her eyes.

" _Eat_."

Aiming for the front door, you waved a hand in the air before rushing off. "See you later!"

"Have a good day!" The three chimed before Ty stole some of Jay's food, Jay smacking the back of his twin brothers head.

Rushing down the front yard and over to the sidewalk, you cursed the early morning sprinkle as you held tightly onto your umbrella. As much as you wished you could take the bus to school or maybe even have your brothers drop you off, the school was only a good ten minutes away. "Alright, eleven minutes till the bell rings...you can do this!"

Running down the sidewalk as you began to get pelted with droplets of rainwater, you took in deep breaths as you ran, seeing the school building come into sight. _Five minutes left_. Darting as fast as you could, you rushed up to the building entrance, letting out a sigh as you finally made it on time. _Three minutes, sweet._

Closing the umbrella, you aimed for your class, jogging down the halls. _Two minutes, I have two_ \- "Whoa!" Colliding into something--rather, _someone_ \--you fell back, straight on your behind as you let out a moan of pain, the noise being echoed in front of you. "I'm sorry!" You shrieked, getting on your knees and looking at the boy who lied there, rubbing his face. "I-I didn't break your face or anything, right?" You frantically asked, watching as he slowly sat up.

Shaking his head, he removed his face from his palms, only to freeze. There you sat on your knees, hands out as if you had been shaking them while your eyes were wide with fear. Looking at your slightly soaked school attire, his eyes trailed up to your own, seeing the pair stare back at him. "I-"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" You apologized again, moving closer as the young boys eyes widened, getting an even more up close look at your eyes, unable to look away as he had been mesmerized.

"Miss y/n?" A voice called out, causing you to shoot your head in its direction as you gulped.

"Uh, y-yes Mr. Tarkin?" You nervously chuckled as the young boy in front of you still gazed.

"Please, come with me." Blinking, you nodded.

Looking back down at the dark haired boy, you gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry, again..." You lightly spoke, quickly standing up and rushing off as the boys eyes followed you, seeing you run off into the distance, long hair flowing with every step you took. He couldn't help but stare, you were breath taking in his young eyes; forcing himself to snap out of it as he slowly stood up and walked on, he knew he had no chance.

"I'm sure you know that we have our annual fall school festival happening this weekend," The man stated as you nodded, "And I'm sure you are aware that it is important you attend this event so you can accumulate extra credit points to make up for those days you were late." Swallowing the lump in your throat, your shoulders slumped.

"Yes, of course..." You muttered, eyes trailing to the ground as you held onto the straps of your backpack.

"I assure you will be attending, correct?" Taking in a deep breath, you nodded. "Perfect, I'm sure you will not be busy Saturday evening."

"No..." Thinking about the upcoming bike race that would be held that same evening, you sighed, "I have nothing planned."

"Perfect! I guess I will be seeing you then." He grinned before walking off, you giving a fake smile as you then rolled your eyes.

"Cruel, cruel, old man..." Walking back down your path, you let out a puff of air--that man was always on your tail.

Nearly forgetting about the lack of time, you instantly darted, stepping foot into the classroom the second the bell had rung. "Oh, look who made it..." Your current teacher, Ms. Ventress, spoke up as you dropped your head--now wasn't the time to feel shame after running into Mr. Tarkin. "The lovely y/n." Bowing your head, you gave her a grin.

 _Y/n?_ Looking over to the girl who had entered the room, the dark haired boy instantly sunk in his seat as he felt his cheeks heat up, he didn't expect the two of you to be in the same class room _or_ grade level.

"Y/n!" The curly haired boy next to him whispered, a sudden wave of disappointment hitting him as if he knew that was your boyfriend.

Looking over to Poe, you smiled, walking over only to notice the boy sitting next to him--the one you had ran into not too long ago--he was in your class? How come you've never noticed him before? "Hey, Poe!" You sat in front of him, placing your bag down and grabbing your things.

"Hey!" He smirked. "Are you going to the race again Saturday night?"

Frowning, you shook your head. "Sadly, no..."

Growing wide eyed, Poe slightly gasped. "What? Why not?! Jess, Karé, L'ulo, Oddy, and Temmin are going!" He loudly whispered as you rubbed your face.

"I know, I know, but I have to attend that stupid fall festival fair thing on Saturday night in order to get extra credit since I've been late over five times..." You whispered back.

"Well, you need a new alarm...maybe even five." Poe snickered.

"No duh." You narrowed your eyes. "Anyway, you guys have fun, let me know who wins...my bet is on Mandrell!" You winked.

"Mandrell? Nah, my bets on Tyerell, he seems like he'd be fit to win." Poe nodded as you shook your head.

"Hmm...we'll see about that." About to turn back around in your seat, your eyes suddenly came into contact with those of the boy you had ran into earlier, giving him a small smile before quickly turning around. You hadn't noticed until now how cute he had actually been--nor how insanely dark his 'flippy' hair was.

"Good morning, class." Ms. Ventress spoke up. "First things first, I'd like to introduce you to two new students, Rey...Ben, please stand up." The teacher reached out her hand, your eyes trailing over to the brunette who sat in the very front, giving everyone a wide grin and a small wave-- _Rey_. Then your eyes shifted over to where the other new student had been standing, awkwardly looking around as he had a slight hunch in his back, head hanging low as if he were shy-- _Ben_. "Please make them feel welcomed, they will be your new classmates!"

Hearing a wave of hellos, Rey smiled even more as Ben gave the smallest smile before sitting back down. "Rey seems like a very cheery person, maybe we should invite her to lunch!" Poe whispered over to you as you nodded.

"Yeah, totally! I love her hair, I wonder how she does it..." Eyeing the three knots that lined up on the back of her head, you turned back to face Poe, "Makes my hair look lame..." Frowning, you pressed your hand against the bangs covering your forehead as Poe chuckled.

"Your hair looks great the way it is, don't worry." He swatted a hand before leaning back, you smiling over at him as Ben had found himself tuning in to your conversation. _But her hair looks perfect..._

"Hey, so you're Ben?" Snapping out of it, Ben slowly turned around to face the short haired blonde who leaned her chin into the palm of her hand, chewing on gum. "The name's Phasma," She winked as Ben raised his eyebrows. "You seem quiet, why?"

"U-Uh..." Stuttering, he simply blinked. "I'm just...shy," He lowered his head as Phasma chuckled, patting his head.

"Don't worry, buddy, the people in this school aren't all that bad..." She nodded before leaning back in her chair as the dark haired boy swallowed, giving her a small smile before turning back around. "By the way, her name is y/n Kenobi, she's pretty and all...but she's always late." Feeling his cheeks blush, he quickly shifted his eyes from you--was he that obvious? "Don't think about crushing on her, she's already crushing on somebody else." Slumping his shoulders, Ben sunk into his seat. _It isn't like I do..._

. . .

"Rey? Right?" You spoke up as you and Poe stood in front of her desk, the brunette slowly looking up and nodding with a smile. "I'm y/n and he's Poe, we were wondering if you'd like to have lunch with us?" Giving her a wide grin, Rey looked over her shoulder to see Ben sitting there, the blonde behind him leaning over and mumbling on about something. _He's doing just fine on his own._

Looking back up at them, Rey nodded, then stood up as she grabbed her lunch bag. "Yeah, that would be great!"

"Perfect! We should go now to get good seats!" Grabbing onto Poe's hand as Poe grabbed onto Rey's, the three of you rushed over to the door rather quickly.

"Good seats?" Rey questioned as Poe then looked over at her.

"She just wants to see her _boyfriend_ -"

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," You called out, "He's just a... _friend_."

Standing up from her seat and crossing her arms, Phasma looked down at Ben, "I told you she's taken."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ben spoke as he looked up at her.

"Just saving your butt so you don't fall head over heels for her, you know, being a good friend." Walking away with her lunch in her hand, Ben sat there and sighed. "Are you coming or what?" She looked over her shoulder as Ben slowly sat up.

"I guess..."

Rushing down the halls, turning corners and finally approaching the cafeteria, you let go of Poe's hand as Poe let go of Rey's. "There he is!" You pointed out as you noticed the red head. "I'll be right back, Jess and the gang are over there," You nudged your head as Poe looked over. "Hey, do you wanna meet Armitage?" Looking at Rey, she simply shrugged.

"AKA, y/n's boy-" Pinching Poe, he shrieked, "I'll go to the table..." Smiling at him, you waved.

"C'mon." Nudging your head for Rey to follow, she did so as the two of you walked over to the partially filled table.

"Oh, look, it's Hux's girlfriend!" One of the boys sitting with him shoved his arm with their elbow, causing Hux to roll his eyes.

"Shut up, she's not..." Looking up, you came to a stop as Hux's eyes trailed over to Rey. "Hello!"

"Hey, Arm." You chuckled. "I thought I'd introduce you to Rey!" You presented as Rey chuckled, "Rey, Armitage...Armitage, Rey." You smiled as you presented the two to one another as Hux smiled while Rey did the same back. "She's new and I thought it would be nice to show her a few people."

"Hello!" The boy to Hux's left spoke up. "I'm Finn..." Sticking his hand out as he stood up, Rey smiled.

"Rey..." She shook his hand as you smirked, walking over to Hux and giving him a hug.

"Are we still up for study hall?" Hux asked as you nodded. "Perfect, I'll see you then!"

Walking back over to Rey, you grabbed her hand, "Come on, you must be hungry!" Waving goodbye to Hux and Finn, amongst the few others that sat there, one of the boys--Dopheld--snickered.

"Are you two going to have a date?" He wiggled his eyebrows as Hux rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Mitaka."

Pulling Rey along, over to the table Poe had now sat with his usual gang, you spoke up, "So, you like Finn?"

Nearly choking on her spit, Rey grew wide eyed as she instantly shook her head. "No?!"

"No? Aw, I thought you'd want to be his friend..." You pouted as the two of you approached the table.

"Oh, oh you mean as a friend!" She laughed as you had let go of her hand, turning around to face Rey as she nodded her head. "Of course, he seems nice...same for Armitage! Are you sure you two are not dating?" She arched an eyebrow as you shrugged.

"No...not yet-"

"Not yet? Is he going to ask you out?" Rey quickly asked as you laughed.

"I'm not so sure..." You tapped your chin. "Although it would be nice."

"I see, I see, well I hope so, too!" Smiling at Rey, the two of you took a seat, Poe introducing Rey to the group.

Entering the cafeteria, Ben's eyes widened at the crowd now in his view, slowly backing up only to feel Phasma push him in. "Don't freak out, they won't pay you any mind." She swatted a hand, wrapping an arm around Ben's shoulder. "You're pretty short, you know that? How tall are you?"

"Uh...five-five..." Nodding her head, Phasma hummed.

"I'm five-seven," She winked, "And still growing! So I'm sure you are, too. I'm the tallest girl in our class and it feels great!" She took in a deep breath as she held her head high. For a person who seemed to be lonely, Phasma must've been doing just fine. "If you ask me, I think you'll hit six foot two...you seem like the kind."

Lightly blushing, Ben nodded as the two walked along, "Th-thank you?"

"No problem, bud-" Coming to a stop as Hux and Finn had waved at her, Phasma waved back. "And that ginger over there...is the boy of y/n's dreams..." Shifting his eyes over, Ben felt his fists clench the slightest as the paper bag in his hold crumbled up; for some reason he had felt...envious? "His name is Armitage-" Snorting, Phasma's eyes widened as she snapped a look over to Ben. "You laugh?"

"Sorry...I've never heard such... _name_ before." Ben fought a grin as the two continued walking on, Phasma patting his back.

"Neither have I, but hey, both my first and last name are pretty strange." Looking back ahead, Ben turned to look at Phasma as his eyebrows narrowed the slightest. Was Phasma her first or last name? "And there you have the _it_ group-" Phasma pointed a finger over to where Rey and the rest of the gang had been, "-Poe and his gang are in the flag football team, but on the downtime, they're always on their dirt bikes racing in the forrest for whatever reason...y/n loves watching them, I've seen her a few times there. Maybe we should go one day?" Phasma nodded as Ben had found himself gazing at you. "And as for Rey...she's new, so I guess we will find how she fits in one day."

Nodding his head, he took in a deep breath. "On Saturday, that festival, are you going?" Ben curiously asked.

"How do you know about it?" Phasma asked as the two of them took a seat.

"I saw the posters..." He blushed, looking down at his food. "I thought it would be...nice to go?"

"Hmm...well, I have to go, I'm kind of one of the sponsors who helped put it together," She nodded as Ben looked up. "So if you go, maybe I'll run into you!" Phasma smiled as Ben nodded back.

"Hey, isn't that Ben?" Poe asked as everyones heads turned in his direction, including yours, "The new kid?"

"Yeah, that's him," You nodded. "Do you know him?" You looked at Rey as she raised her eyebrows, turning to face you.

"Uh, yeah...we're kind of siblings," She chuckled, scratching the back of her head as Poe's and your eyes widened.

"Really? Are you two twins?" Poe asked.

"No, he's the older one, I just skipped a grade..." Hearing a round of gasps, Rey blushed, "It's...it's really no big deal-"

"You skipped a grade?" You gawked, "Wow, you must be really smart! Here I am, being late to school almost every day and you skipped a grade..." You snickered.

"It's, it's nothing...really," Rey nodded. "I'm sure you're not that bad-"

"Y/n is the _laziest_ person I've ever met-" Kicking his shin, Poe grunted.

"I am not! I just...go to bed too late..." You muttered as Rey chuckled, enjoying the banter between you and Poe--although she had only known you for a little under five hours, Rey couldn't help but admire you, you seemed so... _lively_.

. . .

"I think I'm done for the day," You sighed, lying your forehead against the history text book, Hux chuckling as Rey and Poe, along with Finn and Mitaka had sat at another table, leaving you two be. "My brain has had enough, I need sleep..."

Smiling, Hux shook his head as he poked your cheek. "Come on, we're almost done, just a few more questions."

"But, I can do them later..." You whined as Hux sighed, "Fine...I'll finish them now, I think I was gonna walk Rey home and I'm not sure how far away she lives."

"Oh, that's very kind of you," Hux nodded. "You two have hit it off pretty well."

"Yeah, she's really cool, she skipped a grade level! She may just be as smart as you, Arm." You winked as Hux chuckled. "But, don't worry, she won't be my tutor..." You nudged his arm as he smiled.

"So, what's up with those two?" Rey curiously asked as she had been watching you and Hux. "Are they or are they not a thing?"

"Hux and y/n?" Poe spoke up, "They like each other, yeah, but they haven't done much about it."

"Since when?" She whispered, turning to look at Poe.

"Hmm...since the beginning of the school year? They've known each other for a while but I guess the feelings grew..." He shrugged, flipping through his math text book.

"Aw, that's cute." Rey smiled, looking back over to the two as Finn looked up and over at her.

"Yeah, right? I've been bugging him to ask her out but he's waiting till we start high school." Finn rolled his eyes as Rey slowly turned her head to face him.

"Why's that?"

"Oh, I don't know, honestly...he's weird like that," Finn chuckled. "I mean, if I were in the same situation, I'd ask the girl out already."

Shrugging as Finn turned his attention to the book in his hold, Rey smiled, "Yeah..."

Looking up at the clock that was on the wall across from you, you shut the text book. "I think I'm gonna head out now, thanks for the help!" Standing up and packing your stuff, you tossed your bag over your shoulder before hugging Hux, "I'll see you tomorrow." With a smile, you walked over to the table Poe and the rest had been at, only to see all their heads snap down.

"You don't think she noticed?" Mitaka whispered as Poe kicked him.

" _Shut up_."

"Hey, guys!" You smiled as they all looked up. "Rey, you ready to go?" Nodding her head, she slowly stood up and grabbed her things, placing them in her bag as she waved at the other three.

"Thanks for letting me sit with you all!" Seeing everyone wave back, you and Rey walked on.

"Is your brother going to be walking with us?" You sweetly asked with a smile as Rey shook her head.

"I told him earlier I wouldn't be taking the bus with him as I was gonna walk home with a friend, I guess he took that as a 'I have to take the bus alone' because I haven't seen him around." Nodding your head, you turned your attention ahead. "He probably made it back home already." Rey stated with a nod.

. . .

"How was school, Ben?" Leia spoke up as Ben walked in, dragging his bag along the floor as he aimed for the staircase. "Ben?"

"It was fine." He nodded, not even bothering to look back.

"Where's your sister?" Walking over to the staircase as she watched her son climb them without a care, she felt her smile drop.

"She said she was going to walk home with a friend-"

"A friend?" She questioned.

"Yeah, I don't know who...she made a good amount of friends today..." Ben trailed on as Leia slowly nodded.

"And what about you? Did you make friends?" Looking down at his mom, Leia let out a breath. "I see..."

"It doesn't matter, it's the last year of middle school...I'll make them when I start high school, I guess..." Swatting a hand, Ben walked on, over to his room and locking himself up. It was always a mission to make friends, the total opposite of his sister, and Leia knew this very well.

Walking along the sidewalk as you two got lost in a conversation, laughs echoing as you grew to know one another better, Rey came to a stop. "This is my place!" She nodded as you looked up.

"Oh, nice, it's big!" You smiled, gazing at it.

"Yeah, mom and dad are business people...speaking of which, dad should be coming back home today." Rey looked down at her watch. "We switched schools because this one was much more convenient than our last...our old school was connected to our elementary so we were there for a while, mom didn't want us to suffer from the change of middle to high so she decided to put us in a _real_ middle school." Rey explained as you nodded.

"Oh, wow, you must feel sad?" You lightly frowned.

"No way, I mean, I made a lot of friends...but it's always nice having a fresh start!" She nodded, "That is, for my brother...I can't say the same."

"Is he...is he _that_ shy?" You curiously asked.

"Yeah, very anti-social as well, barely had friends. But he's a nice boy, he's very sweet, he's just too shy." Rey shrugged.

"Oh, I see...well, I hope he adjusts well!" You smiled as Rey nodded.

"Any-who, you wanna come in? We can hang out for a bit and maybe my mom can drive you back home? She has the day off anyways..."

"Uh, yeah, sure!" You nodded with a small laugh.

Walking up the steps and into the home, Rey called out, "I'm home!"

Peeping her head from around the corner, Leia smiled, "Hi, honey! Ben told me you walked home with a friend? Is this her?" She looked over to you with a smile as Rey nodded.

"Yup, mom, this is y/n...y/n, this is mom." Rey pointed as you smiled, Leia giving you a wide grin before walking over and pulling you into a hug.

"Oh, it's nice to meet you! I'm glad to hear Rey made a friend on her first day! Actually, she always makes friends...she's a social butterfly." Leia tapped Rey's nose.

"Yeah, yeah, but you're the first one I've ever brought home on the first day, so you're special." Rey winked as you laughed.

"You two can head up, I'll get you some snacks." Shooing you two, Rey lead the way.

"And this is my room!" Opening the door that was covered with a poster, you were presented to even more posters along the walls. "Sorry that it's a bit messy...didn't have a chance to clean up last night, I snuck out to this race that was happening in the woods-"

"You went?!" You exclaimed as Rey nodded. "No way! So did I!"

"Really?!" Rey grinned. "Oh, we should go to Saturday's together!"

Feeling your smile drop, you shook your head. "I can't...I have to go to this festival in order to get extra credit for being late."

"I'll go with you!" Rey nodded as your eyes widened. "Finn and Poe told me about it."

Narrowing your eyes, you pointed a finger, "Is it because Finns going?"

"N-no! No...I wanna go with you, and maybe Ben can tag along!" Feeling your heart skip a beat, you nodded.

"Y-yeah, you should invite Ben! It'll be so much fun!" You eagerly nodded with a smile.

Grabbing your hand, Rey agreed. "Let's go ask him right now." Dragging you out of the room, Rey knocked on Ben's door before barging in.

"Do you not wait for me to say come in?" Ben spoke over his shoulder as he sat at his desk, doing his homework.

"Appreciate that I knocked, okay?" Hearing Ben sigh, he turned around looking annoyed, only for his eyes to widen as they landed on you. "I was wondering if you wanted to do something Saturday?"

Gulping as he kept his eyes on you while you did the same to him, Ben stuttered. "W-what...?"

"Well, y/n has to go to the school festival for extra credit and I said I'd go with her and wondered if you wanted to-"

"Yes!" Ben exclaimed as he suddenly turned his attention to Rey, only to feel his cheeks burn from embarrassment at the sudden outburst. "I-I mean... _sure_..."

Feeling your wide eyes fall back to normal, you gave Ben a small smile as he looked back at you. "That's perfect, the more the merrier." You nodded as Ben felt his heart flutter at the sound of your voice--it was like music to his ears.

"Great! Saturday it is!" Rey nodded. "You can get back to work, nerd."

"I'm not a nerd..." Ben mumbled as Rey completely ignored him as she walked you and herself out of his room.

Waving goodbye to Ben before Rey had shut the door behind you two, Ben shyly waved back at nothing, as if you were able to see the gesture.

Sighing, he turned back around to finish his homework--oh how this was going to be a long school year for him.


	2. Impossible Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco

The week had gone by rather swiftly, Rey adjusted to the new school easily unlike Ben, only really knowing Phasma and still staring at you unintentionally; but, on the plus side, he was able to befriend you (even if that was because of Rey). It had been hard on him when he sat diagonal to you, especially when he was always one of the firsts in class and you were one of the lasts, he constantly found himself finding something new about you that he couldn't help but adore. He hated how enthralled he had become in you, it wasn't fair, especially when you were technically taken by a boy that--lets just say--Ben had grown not too fond of.

It was only five days in and Ben was already being picked on for his height and shyness, and the one to blame when it happened--Armitage Hux. Ben couldn't understand as to why you had fallen for such boy when he did such things. Were you unaware of it all? Or maybe you were flat out oblivious? Whatever it was, Ben had hoped you'd snap out of it one day. He didn't want you to end up with a boy like Hux, you or your heart didn't deserve it.

Then there was Rey, already feeling as if she had been friends with you and the company of Poe (and his friends) for years at how close she had become with you all. The group was so welcoming and kind to her that she knew she belonged with them, and even here and there, she was able to hangout and speak with Finn--someone else she had also grown close to.

Rushing up the steps and entering the school building, you sighed as you looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that you had four minutes till class started, thankful for waking up a little bit earlier this time around. "Perfect..." You breathed, looking at the slightly deserted locker hallway, only to see someone at their locker. Narrowing your eyes, you smiled. "Ben!" You exclaimed, only to hear a bang.

Rushing over and seeing him rub his face, you gasped. "Ow..."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" You frowned as Ben's heart suddenly fell to the pit of his stomach, closing his locker this time to look over and see you.

"I-it's fine...I just, I forgot my locker door was right _there_..." He awkwardly laughed as you smiled at the sound of it. "You were almost late again?" He questioned as you nodded. "You should put multiple alarms beforehand so you can wake up on time, I used to do that until my body started naturally waking up at the desired time."

Feeling your jaw drop, your eyes widened. "You can naturally wake up at six in the morning?" Seeing him nod, you smiled. "That's amazing! You and Rey are so cool, I wish I was like that..."

Feeling his cheeks heat up from the compliment, Ben stuttered. "You-you can do it, too! I believe in you, anyone can be 'cool'."

Slightly blushing, you smiled at him. "Thanks, Ben, I'll remember that." Ruffling with his hair, he smiled. "You have really soft hair, wow!"

Feeling his face burn, Ben patted his hair and nervously smiled. "Th-thank you..."

"You're great, you know that?" Feeling his heart skip a beat as he looked at you, you suddenly leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being so nice, the least I could do is walk us to class!"

Slowly nodding, Ben's heart fluttered all over the place as you interlocked your arm with his. "Thank you..."

. . .

"Hey, so, do you wanna take the bus home this time? Maybe you can come over to my place?" You asked, walking alongside Rey.

"Oh, I told Ben I'd go with him since I ditched him the last few days...unless you wanna join us?" Rey asked as you eagerly nodded.

"He-he can come over, too!" You smiled as Rey chuckled.

"He won't do much but his homework, so-"

"That's fine! He's more than welcomed to be a nerd in my house!" You nodded.

"Alright, I told him to meet up with me in front of the school building so..." Walking down the hallway and towards the main entrance, Ben had found himself leaving the library, only to be confronted out of the blue.

"Do you like getting into problems?" Looking up, Ben lightly gulped as he made eye contact with Hux. "I see how close and personal you've been getting with y/n, just because she's now best friends with Rey doesn't mean you should include yourself you moron."

Narrowing his eyebrows, Ben blinked. "I'm not doing anything wrong by being her friend..."

"Yes, you are, she's become really close to you--you, out of all people--Ben Solo: the weirdo kid who's always quiet." Hux flailed his hands up.

"Are you jealous?" Ben blatantly asked as Hux narrowed his eyes.

"Jealous?" He scoffed. "You have nothing on me, Solo, clearly you can't defend yourself," Shoving Ben back, he nearly stumbled. "Do you honestly think you have a chance with her? She's too popular for you, let alone, _too_ _pretty_. She wouldn't lower her standards for some lowlife such as yourself. Don't think about falling any harder for her, you will never win her heart." Harshly patting Bens cheek, Hux walked off. "Oh, and you better make sure she never kisses your cheek again unless you really want to get messed up." Watching Hux walk off, Ben took in a deep breath as his eyes burned.

He had grown so immune to stuff like this, being bullied and taunted, that he didn't even feel fear--he felt rage. If he hadn't held himself back so often, he was afraid he'd do something he'd only regret.

"Where could he be?" Rey sighed as she looked at her watch, tapping her foot as you stood there, eyeing your phone only to look up as you heard the main door open. Smiling as you watched Ben walk down the steps, your grin dropped at how upset he had seemed. "Finally! What happened?"

"Nothing." He harshly spoke as he walked on, not even bothering to stop and say hello. Although you had known him for five days, this wasn't like him.

"Are you okay?" You spoke up as Ben came to a complete stop, turning around to look at you.

"I'm fine, thank you." He nodded, turning back around and continued walking.

"Is he, really?" You whispered to Rey as Rey sighed with a shrug.

"I guess there's only one way to know, but I'm not gonna bother him now, don't want him to explode on me." Following her brother, your eyebrows furrowed as you quickly rushed to Rey's side.

The walk to the bus stop was silent, here and there Rey asking you something about the school or homework, or even about the upcoming event. Then there was Ben, walking with his hands in the pockets of his jacket and not once looking over to you--unlike how he _always_ kept his focus on you and _only_ you. It was itching at your skin, what happened that made him this way?

"Can...can I sit next to Ben?" You quietly asked Rey as she nodded.

"Yeah, sure."

Climbing up the steps for the bus, Ben slid next to the window as Rey sat in front, meanwhile you sat next to him, causing Ben's breath to hitch. "Hey, how was your day?" You kindly asked as Ben took in a deep breath.

"It was okay."

Nodding, you then fully turned yourself to face him. "I was thinking that at the festival tomorrow, we can ride a few rides together? I told Rey about it and she was a-okay with it as long as she sits with Finn."

Feeling his heart skip a beat, Ben looked over. "R-really? You won't be going with Hux?"

Narrowing your eyebrows, you shook your head. "He isn't into those things, he'd rather be home studying..." You sighed as Ben slightly frowned. "But, that's okay! I really wanna hang out with you!" You nodded with a wide grin as Ben blushed.

"R-really? Me?" Ben gulped as you eagerly nodded with a hum.

"Definitely! I like you, Ben, you're a cool guy and I want to get to know you better." Feeling his heart thud in his chest, Ben suddenly forgot about Hux's threat.

"Th-thank you...so much...no ones ever found me cool or really wanted to hang with me..." Ben lowered his head as Rey slightly frowned as she overheard the conversation. "It means a lot."

"It's no biggie, I'm just really excited!" You nodded with a smile as Ben smiled back; you couldn't help but gawk at it.

"So am I..."

. . .

"Since it's a Friday night I thought we should watch some movies--horror movies to be exact--since Halloween is soon!" You nodded.

"Oh, Ben hates horror movies..." Rey pointed her thumb as she sat on your bed, Ben sitting at your small desk as he finished up his homework.

"I do not!" He called out as you chuckled.

"It's alright! I can sit with you and hold your hand." You teased as Ben's cheeks burned.

"I think I'll just focus on my homework in the meantime..." He muttered.

"Alright, Benny boy." You chuckled as Ben's eyes widened at the nickname, picking out a few movies and showing Rey.

"Oh, Halloween!" She picked out, eager to see the movie as you went to turn on the film. "I love the Halloween series, it's so good!"

"The man literally just walks and stabs..." Ben spoke up.

"Is that why you always hide behind moms arm each time we watch it?" Rey smirked as Ben shot her a look.

"That's okay, the movie used to scare me when I would watch it. But I've seen it so much that I'm used to it...though, I can't watch it alone, now that's too much." You nodded as Ben looked over at you. "Ben, if you wanna watch, you can sit next to me on the bed!" You patted the free spot next to you as you sat next to Rey, Ben quietly swallowing as he slowly nodded.

"Thank...you, when-when I'm done here." Turning back to his homework, you lightly smiled as Rey already had her eyes glued on the television screen.

After a good thirty minutes, Ben had found himself contemplating whether or not to sit next to you, only to take in a deep breath and get up. Sitting beside you, you hugged him and kissed his cheek before ruffling with his hair. "Yay! You joined us!"

"Shh!" Rey shushed as she swatted a hand, causing the two of you to snicker.

It was safe to say during the entire movie, Ben had found himself slowly wrapping his arms around you and even burying his face into your shoulder. Meanwhile, Rey was on the edge of the bed, yelling at the tv.

Once the film had finished, Rey decided it was best they watch all the films you had pulled out, saying as how her mom wouldn't be able to pick them up till late. After joining you and your family for dinner--which basically was sneaking food upstairs because you didn't want to deal with your brothers--Rey had found herself sitting on a separate chair right in front of the television as you and Ben had drifted into sleep.

Laying your head against his shoulder as he lied his head against yours, you two were completely knocked out whereas Rey was biting away at her nails as her wide eyes stayed glued on the screen. It didn't help that it was already dark out and completely silent when a knock was heard on your door, causing Rey to shriek as you and Ben shot up in your spot and bumped heads.

"I-I'm sorry," Ben stuttered as he rubbed his cheek bone while you rubbed the top of your head.

"It's fine." You nodded with a sleepy grin.

"Sorry to scare you all," Your mom spoke up. "Ben, Rey, your mother's here."

Groaning, Rey slowly stood up and grabbed her bag as Ben had done the same. "Aw man, I guess I'll see you tomorrow..." Rey hugged you as she followed your mom out.

"Yeah, definitely!" You nodded as you stood up. "Bye, Ben!" You smiled, walking over and giving him a hug as he slowly hugged back. "I'll see you tomorrow as well."

Nodding, Ben waved before exiting your room. "Sleep well!" He called out as you blushed.

"You too!" Smiling to yourself, you fell back onto your bed with a wide grin. You couldn't understand as to how no one wanted to be Ben's friend when he was the absolute _sweetest_.

. . .

"Ben! Rey! Y/n's mom is on her way, you guys better be ready!" Leia called out as Rey then yelled from her room.

"I know! She texted me! I'm just trying to find my stupid left shoe!" Chuckling from his room, Ben shook his head as he slid on his jacket, excitement filling his veins for the first time in months.

"Ben?" Hearing a knock on his door, Ben turned around. "It's dad, can I come in?"

"Sure!" He called out, walking to his bathroom and looking himself in the mirror, fixing his hair. The thought of being alone with you for a few minutes was enough to make him happy, especially when you two would be on carnival rides. "What is it?"

"Son, come sit." Han spoke up, patting Ben's bed as Ben suddenly felt his smile drop.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked as he shut off his bathroom light and walked over, taking a seat.

Taking a deep breath, Han went on one knee as he placed a hand on Ben's own. "Dads got a great deal coming up with his company...but the problem is it's an hour out."

"Okay? Does this mean we won't see you much?" Ben asked as Han sighed.

"Your mother and sister won't..."

"What do you mean?" Ben frowned.

"I have to move out for a bit for the job, I spoke to your mom and I went to Rey earlier...and now, you..."

"W-why?"

"Because, you're going with me." Gulping, Ben shook his head.

"But-but I like it here? I made a good friend and I-"

"Y/n?" Han asked as Ben blushed, head lowering from embarrassment. "I know, and I'm sorry, but I need you to come with me. You kind of have no choice..." Han frowned as Ben sighed. "I'm sorry, buddy...I really am. I know you were starting to like your new school-"

"But we just switched schools! How could I possibly prepare myself to move _again_ to another one!" Ben shouted as his eyes welled up with tears.

"Ben-"

"That isn't fair on me! Why not Rey?! Why me?!"

"Because, you're the oldest and it's only fair-"

"But, dad! I don't want to move again, I don't want to switch schools again! I don't want to lose y/n as a friend!" Covering his mouth, Hans shoulders slumped.

"I know, I know, and you won't...okay? We will visit often and you can see her then since she's Reys best friend! Okay? It won't be for long, alright? We will move back once I'm done, I promise you..."

Blinking away tears as Ben rubbed his eyes, he sighed. "This isn't fair...just when I was becoming close with someone, you do this to me. You know how hard it is for me to make friends." Standing up, Ben aimed for the door, "Especially when it's a girl." Walking out, Han sat there and sighed, rubbing his face as he felt terrible.

"Ben! Rey! Y/n's here!" Leia called out as Rey rushed out of her room, Ben trying his best to hold a smile as he wanted to enjoy the evening as much as he could.

"Y/n!" Rey exclaimed as she hugged you. "Finn told me he's already there!"

"Really? Great! We can meet up with him!" You smiled, only to look over Rey's shoulder and smile even more. "Ben!"

"He-hey!" Ben waved as Leia smirked, smacking his butt. " _Mom_..."

"Have fun, you three!" Leia waved. "And tell your mother I say thank you!" Hugging Ben, you then waved goodbye as you walked out with the two.

"Will do, Mrs. Solo!"

"I call shot gun!" Rey exclaimed as you rolled your eyes.

"Good, I'll sit with Ben then!" Wrapping an arm around Ben's shoulder, you patted his chest with a smile. "We can be car buddies."

Nodding his head, Ben went to open the door as you slid in, Ben following after. "Hello!" Rey smiled as she got into the passengers seat. "Mom says thank you for the ride!"

"Hello, Rey," Smiling over at Rey, your mom then turned to face Ben. "Hello, Ben!"

"H-hello..." He softly smiled before buckling in his seatbelt.

"Mom, I was thinking of inviting Rey and Ben to hangout on Halloween!" You spoke up as Ben felt his heart sink. "Since I usually don't do much unless Poe actually wants to trick or treat--which is never, he rather watch movies--I think it would be a nice change."

"Oh, yeah, that sounds lovely!" Your mom nodded in agreement as she backed out of the driveway and left. "You two can come over if you want, you are more than welcomed." She smiled in the rearview mirror as Ben let out a small breath, knowing there was a high chance he couldn't.

"Thank you! I totally will." Rey nodded as she turned in her seat to look at you. "Halloween is my favorite holiday so I'm excited."

"So am I!" You nodded as Ben found himself slowly sinking in his seat, knowing he was going to have to break the news sooner than later.

The entire drive to the school, Rey had found herself going on about how much she loved Halloween, you agreeing whereas Ben sat quietly the entire time. "Ben, do you like Halloween?" You turned to him as he suddenly sat up.

"Uh...it's-it's cool, but I-I prefer Christmas..." He nodded as your eyes widened.

"I love Christmas! I mean, I love Halloween, but Christmas is my favorite! Oh, maybe this year we can do secret Santa!" You chipped in as Rey agreed, Ben finding himself sinking in his seat once again. He really didn't want to lose this friendship all because he had to move away.

"We're here!" Your mom chimed as everyone piled out, you kissing your moms cheek before thanking her. "I'll pick you up in two hours, okay?"

"Okay!" You waved.

"Thank you, Mrs. Kenobi!" Rey waved along as she rushed off, grabbing Bens hand and pulling him with her.

"I told Finn to meet us in front of the slides so he should be-"

"Hey, guys!" Finn shouted, popping out of nowhere causing Rey to jump.

"Oh, man, you gave me a heart attack!" She swatted his arm.

"Sorry..." He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, only to smile. "Are you ready to ride some rides?"

"Yes!" Rey eagerly nodded. "What about you, y/n?"

"Uh, I have to go check in with Mr. Tarkin..." You sighed as Ben perked up.

"I-I can go with you? So after we can go on the rides..."

"Yeah, okay!" You smiled, grabbing his hand. "We can meet up back here in two hours if we don't meet up for any rides, alright?" You stated as Rey and Finn nodded.

"Okay, see you!" Grabbing Finn's hand, Rey rushed off.

"As much as I wanted to hang with Poe, I'm glad I came here instead! I get to hang with you guys." You smiled as Ben's heart fluttered.

"Really?"

"Yeah! I really wanted to be here, especially with you! At least you can end your first week at your new school in a fun way." Seeing Bens smile drop, you frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I-I have to-"

"Y/n, you actually made it..." Looking up, you sighed. "And you brought the boy you ran into along...what, was it love at first sight?" Freezing in your spot, yours and Bens eyes widened.

"Mr. Tarkin..." You sighed. "I came to you so you know I'm here...now that you know, I'll be off on the rides." Tugging Ben away, Mr. Tarkin slightly smirked.

"Young love...I'm surprised she settled for someone as new and shy as him...rather than that Hux boy."

"So, what do you want to ride first, Ben?" You asked as you kept your hold on his hand.

"Uh...whatever you want?"

"No, you decide! Anything is fine with me!" You nodded.

"O-okay...how about the twirl n' swirl?" Ben pointed over to the teacup like ride.

"Perfect! Let's go!" Pulling Ben along, the two of you rushed to the line.

The entire evening was spent jumping from ride to ride, eating, and playing a few games. Ben had found himself completely at ease, not feeling such way in so long as he felt his worries slip away--he nearly had forgotten that he had to move.

"Come on, Ben! You can do it!" You cheered as Ben nervously aimed the rings onto the bottle necks. "I know you can!" Nodding his head, Ben tossed it, instantly making the ring wrap around the bottle. "Yay!" Clapping, you went to hug Ben as he nervously stood there and smiled.

"What do you want as a prize?" The worker asked as Ben turned to look at you.

"What...what do you want?"

"M-me? But you won?" You stuttered as Ben shook his head.

"You gave me good luck, so, what do you want?" He looked back over to the prizes as you looked as well.

"Uh...that bunny..." You pointed as the worker raised his eyebrows.

"You have got yourself an ugly bunny...have fun..." Grabbing onto it, you squealed and hugged it.

"It's so cute!" You nodded as the worker narrowed his eyebrows. "I'll name it Benny!" Feeling his cheeks flourish with heat, Ben shyly looked down.

"Uh...okay."

"Come on, Ben, let's do one more ride!" Grabbing his hand, you rushed over to the ferris wheel.

"Uh...y/n..." Ben breathed as you looked at him.

"Yeah?" You sweetly smiled as he felt his stomach turn.

"I-I have to tell you something..." Getting into the cart, the two of you sat down.

"What is it?"

"My...my dad, he got this sort of deal for his company..."

"That's cool!" You nodded as Ben shook his head, causing you to frown.

"No, not really, he has to move..."

"What, aw...no way..."

"Yeah and...and I-I have to go with him..." Feeling your heart stop, you blinked. "Dad says it's only fair since I'm the older one..."

"But-but you just switched schools? And you have to move and switch schools again?" You asked as Ben frowned.

"I have to move an hour away and go to a whole different school. It isn't fair since I had suffered with a suffocating amount of anxiety just switching to this school...but now I have to leave my home to another one that's an hour away and switch schools that I-I'm afraid...I-I don't want to move."

"Did you tell him this?" You questioned as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes...I also told him I had made a friend for once who was really nice to me and actually hung out with me and I didn't want to lose that friendship..." He gulped as his head lowered, your heart skipping a beat as you knew he meant you.

"Oh...but-but we can always call and text each other! And webcam! And-and when you come down to visit, I can go over and see you!" You nodded as Ben slowly looked up. "I don't want to lose our friendship, either! I-I think you're a good friend and it's a shame I've only known you for a week...I wish you didn't have to move but...but we can make it work!"

"R-really?" Ben swallowed as you nodded.

"Yes, of course...you're so sweet and kind and you've become a close friend of mine. I wouldn't want to lose you, either..." You sighed as Ben softly smiled.

"I just...I don't want to leave...for once, I'm happy. And for once, I have a good friend..." He frowned.

"Hey...it'll be alright. I promise you, okay?" Seeing him nod, you smiled. "We can get through this, I know it."

. . .

"So when do you leave?" Sitting on a bench near the parking lot, Ben held onto the edge of the seat as you lightly dangled your feet.

"I'm not sure...but I feel as if it'll be really soon...so if you don't see me Monday, then, you know..." He sighed.

"I don't want you to go..." You frowned as your voice faltered, Ben's eyes widening. "I want you to stay."

Gulping, Ben nodded. "I don't want to go, either. I-I like being friends with you!" He nearly shouted as you chuckled. "I...I didn't mean to sound creepy..."

"Y-you don't! I'm glad you feel that way because I like you, too!" Feeling your heart race, you shook your head. "You-you know...as a friend!"

Nodding his head, Ben looked at you with wide eyes. "Y-yeah! Yeah...as a-a friend." He let out a small breath. "As a friend..."

Slowly nodding your head, you took in a small breath as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you. "Ben...have you...uh. Never mind."

Looking up with a curious expression, Ben blinked. "What...what is it?"

"I don't know if I'll ever see you again, or at least, for now...so-so can I give you something so you'll never forget me?" You nervously asked as you looked at him, Ben eagerly nodding his head. "You-you can stop me if you don't want me to do it..."

"Do what?" Seeing you lean in, Ben felt his heart race. At first, he was sure it was just going to be a kiss on the cheek, but the second your soft lips pressed against his own, he suddenly didn't know how to breathe. _You can stop me if you don't want me to do it,_  your words rung in his head as he kept his wide eyes open.

Fluttering his eyes closed as he leaned in and kissed back, Ben knew for a fact he didn't want to stop you, because if you were going to be his first kiss--he was gladly going to take it.

"Y/n! Ben!" Slowly leaning back as you gazed at Ben, Ben doing the same to you, you gave him a small smile and whispered.

"That was my first kiss." Turning your head over to the direction Rey and Finn had been coming from, you waved.

 _That was her first kiss? Not with_ _Hux_ _?_ Ben suddenly felt more disappointed for having to move.

"That was my first kiss, too..." Ben muttered as your eyes widened for a moment, looking at him and smiling as Rey and Finn came to a stop.

"We were supposed to meet up in front of the slides!" Finn exclaimed. "Not the bench!"

"Yeah! We waited and then looked around!" Rey breathed.

"Sorry, we got carried away..." You shrugged as Ben nodded, Rey noticing how red her brothers cheeks were.

"Well, my moms here..." Finn pointed out before waving goodbye and running off.

"And our mom is here, we'll see you Monday!" Rey waved as she walked off, gesturing for Ben to follow.

Standing up, he bowed his head the slightest. "Thank you...for everything." Nodding your head, Ben then turned around and walked off.

Quickly standing up, you stuck out a hand. "Hey! Wait, Ben!" Turning around, he hummed. "Promise me you won't change? Okay? No matter what, you'll be the sweet Ben I met when I see you someday, again." Giving him a wholehearted smile, Ben nodded before he heard his name being called. "Promise you'll never forget me!"

"I promise!"

. . . **_ABOUT FOUR YEARS LATER_**. . .

"So then coach decided it'd be best we wear our uniforms all day because the football team has a game tonight...do you understand how uncomfortable it is to wear our cheer uniform all day for who knows how many hours?!" You exclaimed as you walked alongside Rey to class. "It's annoying, especially when I can't bend down in peace without getting pervs whistling at me...or easily getting cold."

"At least it's long sleeved." Rey shrugged.

"Yeah, I know, but the skirt is too short to sit down on those cold ass chairs for hours on end! It feels like my bare ass is sitting on it. You know how exposed I feel? Don't get me wrong, I love cheering, but I hate how this is a new-" Bumping rather harshly into a wall, you stumbled back to a point where you almost tripped, only to feel a hand wrap around your wrist. "How the hell did I bump into a-" Looking at the hand on your wrist as you then trailed your eyes up, you gulped as your eyes landed on a rather tall figure in tight black jeans and and a v neck . "That's not a wall..." Looking up at the mans face and seeing how he was smirking down at you, you blinked with knitted eyebrows. _He's so tall and big_.

"Ben? Why didn't you tell me you were starting today!" Rey exclaimed as you furrowed your eyebrows even more.

" _Ben_?" You muttered, looking him in the eyes and nearly choking as you recognized him. "Ben?!" You nearly shouted, completely thrown off by the newfound height and hair length, not to mention, lack of school uniform.

"Hey, kid." Lightly gasping at how much deeper his voice got, you felt flustered. "You haven't grown much, have you?" Blinking, you couldn't get over how he was easily a foot taller than you rather than a few inches.

"You-you've changed...I-I mean, you're so much taller..." You gawked as Ben shrugged while letting go of your wrist.

"I couldn't really promise _that_...but I did keep my _other_ promise." Ruffling your hair with a smile, Ben walked in between you and Rey as he waved a hand in the air. "I never forgot you."


	3. Greedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Greedy by Ariana Grande

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben is such a fuckin' tease

It had nearly been four years since you had last seen Ben--the second he moved away was the last time you thought you would ever see him. The promise of keeping contact wasn't kept, nor were the visits and the never forgetting...or at least on your end. You regretted not keeping contact with him, although you did ask Rey about him quite often, you never really put the effort to even try keeping in touch. And you felt guilty.

But you weren't the only one to blame, Ben never tried reaching out either; ever since he left your sight after the shared first kiss, Ben couldn't find it in himself to speak to you as he knew he had fallen in love...even if he was too young to understand the concept. He had only known you for six days but it felt like an eternity, the way you treated him and actually _wanted_ to be his friend only made him fall even harder.

For the rest of the school year up until graduating middle school, you had found yourself quite distant towards Hux, losing interest in him as you had been falling harder for Ben than you ever had for Hux. It was a shame that each passing month you waited for him to move back, he never did...possibly why your feelings had rolled back onto Hux during that summer--and little did Ben know.

During the four years of being gone, Ben had found himself growing more and more self conscious, deciding that high school wasn't going to be the same as middle and elementary--he wasn't going to cower away from his bullies, rather, they were going to fear him. So he spent nearly all his free time working out, either at home or at the gym; but when he wasn't at the gym or at school, he was locked up in his room. Although his self esteem felt like it was getting a boost, he still felt himself falling deeper into the void of his dark thoughts.

Maybe thats why he looked the way he did today--dressed in all black with slightly messy hair just touching his shoulders, body practically being solid rock.

You couldn't help but wonder what caused him to change--aside from puberty--he seemed a bit more... _open_ than usual, and darker. "Why...why didn't you tell me Ben was coming back?" You looked over at Rey as you had lost sight of Ben when he turned a corner.

"I didn't?" Rey frowned as she tapped her chin. "Thought I did, oh well!" Shrugging, Rey was about to turn around and leave, only for you to pull her back from her hair. "Ow! Hey?!"

"Oh well? _Oh well_?! Rey, don't you think I'd deserve to know that your brother was _finally_  coming back?!" You nearly shouted.

Sighing, Rey patted down her hair. "Look, I wanted to, but I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"Since when did you know?" You crossed your arms while looking at Rey with an arched brow.

"Well...you see-"

" _Rey_..." You lowly growled.

"About a month or so...a little before school started..." She flinched as you gasped.

"R-Rey!" You swatted her arm. "That's so uncalled for! You know how much I asked for him!"

"Key word... _asked_ ," Rey lifted up a finger. "Ever since we started high school, you asked about him less and less...I'm not surprised you didn't recognize him." Seeing Rey shrug, your mouth fell open, only to close as you frowned.

"In my defense, I don't think anyone would recognize that that was Benjamin Solo, alright? He-he's so much taller and bigger and... _wow_." Shaking your head with wide eyes, Rey snapped her fingers.

"Let's not forget: he's my _brother_ and you are _taken_." Rey pointed out as you sighed with a nod.

"Yeah, yeah..." Waving a hand as you two walked on, you mumbled, "Isn't like I have a crush or find him attractive..."

Leaning his back against a wall as he took in a deep breath, Ben had shut his eyes while he slid his hand down his face. "So, I see you finally reunited with y/n, hmm..." Hearing a familiar voice, Ben peaked an eye, only to clutch onto Poe's jersey as he pulled him close.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me she was a cheerleader?!" Ben exclaimed as Poe raised his eyebrows, fighting a laugh.

"I didn't?" Poe acted as if he were thinking back. "I guess I let that thought slide-"

"Let the thought slide?! Poe, that's something you should've told me! What the fuck, man?!" Ben shook him as Poe held onto his wrists.

"Whoa, hey, it's no big deal-"

"Yeah, it is! When she's in _that_ skirt!" Ben exclaimed as Poe smirked.

"Oh, man...you know, since we've gotten closer cause of my cousin being in your school, I thought we'd tell each other everything since we're such good friends now...why didn't you tell me you had a skirt kink?" Poe teased as Ben instantly pushed him away.

"Oh, fuck off!" He narrowed his eyes.

"Look, it just gives you an even bigger reason to get closer to her-"

"Poe, that isn't helping the situation!" Ben shrieked. "I also called her kid...as if I'm like ten years older than her."

"Kid?" Poe arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to seem smooth?"

"Trying?! It just happened! Now that she's way shorter than me--which is unbelievably cute--it just sort of happened..." Ben rubbed his face.

"Oh, _dude_..."

"What?" Ben snapped his head in Poe's direction.

"I kind of forgot another detail...another _major_ detail..." Taking slow steps back, Ben arched an eyebrow. "About a certain someone being taken..."

"Who? Who are you talking ab-" Seeing Poe point, Ben looked over the corner to see you and Hux kissing, only to feel his stomach turn for the worse as he wanted to barf. "What the fuck, Poe?!" Looking back over, Poe was already halfway down the hall.

Ben should have expected this, the second he hadn't heard from (or even seen) you should've been a clear signal that you still had feelings for Hux--he just didn't want to believe it.

But that wasn't going to stop him.

. . .

Sitting on the stool and reaching over to get a pen from your bag, Ben walked in to his first class of the day, instantly recognizing the person leaning to a side in the cheer uniform with the half up-half down hairdo. "Is this seat taken?" Hearing the familiar voice, you suddenly felt chills running down your spine as you sat up, looking over to see Ben standing there.

"Uh...I-" Seeing him sit down with a smile, you simply blinked as you took in small, deep breaths, averting your eyes as you felt your heart race.

"First class of the day and I already share one with you." Ben grinned as he placed his lone binder on the lab table's surface. "I find it funny."

Lightly gulping, you slowly looked over and gave him a small smile. "What other classes do y-you have today?" Feeling your heart flutter as your eyes made contact with his own, Ben pulled out his schedule from his back pocket, unfolding it and sliding it over. Grabbing onto it and looking over, a wave of excitement had hit you. "We have four classes together, three if you don't count study hall." Nodding your head, Ben felt his heart thud--this was _perfect_.

"Which ones are they?" He curiously asked as he leaned closer to look at the schedule as you fell stiff.

"Uh...we-we have chem, obviously, and...and we have history and gym." You stated as you felt as if you had been holding your breath.

"We can walk to history together." Ben smiled. "Seeing as it's the next class."

"Y-yeah, yeah we can." You nodded.

"Thanks, kid." Patting your head, he grabbed onto the paper and folded it up once again, slipping it back into the same pocket.

Feeling your breathing grow uneasy, you looked to your left as you tried pulling yourself together, not wanting Ben to notice how tense you were. "Y/n, love, who's this?" Popping up in your seat as your head shot around, you felt your heart sink as your eyes landed on Hux.

Clenching his jaw along with fists, Ben had the urge to slam one against Hux's face, only to swallow his pride. "This is Ben, remember?" You spoke up as you felt yourself shaking.

"Ben?" He arched an eyebrow, looking over at Ben as he narrowed his eyes. "Ben Solo? That little dw-" Cutting himself off as Ben glared, Hux cleared his throat. "This can't possibly be him, he's... _tall_."

"Yeah, I thought the same..." You mumbled as you leaned your chin into your palm, looking away as Ben smirked.

"Well, Ben, you are in _my_ seat." Hux faked a smile.

"Your seat? Didn't know we claimed seats here." Ben tilted his head the slightest as Hux bit down harshly.

"We do, the unassigned assigned seat...and that is _mine_." He spoke through gritted teeth. "You know, next to my _girlfriend_." Quickly turning your head and nearly getting whiplash, Ben sighed as he stood up, forgetting this was reality and that you weren't his.

"Well, here you go, _Hux_." Ben grinned, presenting the seat before walking off and sitting in the back, you looking over and mouthing a sorry as he gave you a small smile in return.

"Did you forget that I sit here?" Hux spoke over to you as you rolled your eyes, turning to face him.

"Of course not, just thought you weren't coming." You lied as Hux's eyebrows knitted.

"I told you I had to deliver a few things in preparation for my debate class, then I'd head over, remember? After I had said good morning..." He chuckled as you nodded with a deep breath, already wanting the class to end.

During the entire class period, you had found yourself zoning in and out of the lecture, paying attention here and there as your thoughts always found their way around Ben. So much was on your mind, starting off with: what made him become so straightforward unlike before? Then there was the slight untidiness he had with himself that wasn't like the Ben you once knew. His hair used to always be combed and all neat, now it's just pushed back and a mess of waves.

But, no matter how much he had changed, you had grown exceedingly fond of it...even if you knew it to be wrong.

"...and that'll be due next class!" Zoning back in as the bell had rung, you quickly packed your stuff as Hux stood up.

"I'll see you later." Hux walked off as you narrowed your eyebrows, not even getting a proper goodbye as this was the only class you had with him.

"Are we still up for walking to class?" Nearly jumping in your spot, you turned your head towards Ben and nodded.

"Y-yeah, let me just...get my things." Smiling down at you, your heart fluttered as you quickly pulled your backpack over your shoulder. "How'd you like the class?"

Shrugging, Ben stuck a hand into one of his pockets as the other held the binder. "Not so bad, though sitting in the back sucks."

Frowning, the two of you walked along, out of the classroom. "I'm sorry..."

"Its fine, not your fault," He stated as he patted your shoulder, only to stick his hand back into his pocket. "Though I did wish I didn't have to change because then I wouldn't be stuck with the mouth breather next to me."

"Yeah, that was Kevin...no one sits with the poor guy." You pointed out while holding onto the sleeves of the top of your cheer uniform. "I usually offer to sit with him and switch with whoever does but Hux doesn't want me to since we only have chem together."

Mentally cheering as Ben had mouthed a yes, he faked a pout. "That's _terrible_..."

Snickering, you came to a stop as you looked up at him. "Don't act like you care."

"What do you mean _act_?" He questioned as you playfully rolled your eyes.

"Don't think I forgot about the kiss." You waved a finger before tuning on your heel, leaving Ben standing there with his jaw hanging loose.

"How could I have possibly forgotten..." He mumbled, following behind as you had walked on.

Walking into the classroom, you took a seat near the windows as you patted the seat behind you for Ben to sit on. "So, why don't you have uniform yet?" You asked as you turned in your seat the second Ben sat down.

"Well, the move was pretty last minute and I wasn't expecting to switch so soon, even if we knew for a bit, we just didn't know exactly when. My last school didn't have uniform so we never had to buy any...dad forgot to mention that _this_ school does." Ben sighed as he leaned back in his seat.

"Did Rey not tell you?"

"Nope." Ben popped the 'p'. "Ever since I had moved away, Rey and I grew pretty distant."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you spoke up, "Why?"

"Probably because we didn't live together and school had us busy. Mind you, we barely got to visit, they had to come to us since dad was super busy..." Ben sighed as you slowly nodded.

"Oh...I'm sorry." Now it made sense as to why you never heard from Ben after he had left.

"Yeah, it wasn't like I was avoiding you! I remembered what you said...but I had gotten a new phone and lost numbers and never really had the chance to ask Rey for your number..." Ben nodded as a small smile grew on your face.

"That's-that's okay because you're here now! And-and it isn't like you're leaving anytime soon, of course, until college." You grinned as Ben smiled back.

"Yeah, I really don't want to move again, I miss mom and Rey and I prefer living in a small town than out in the city."

"By the way, how was it living in the city?" You curiously asked.

Leaning forward, Bens eyes narrowed, "Let's just say...the traffic was very _very_ bad and my school hallways were just as terrible."

"Oh, that sucks. At least our school isn't so bad in numbers."

"Thank god." Seeing who he assumed to be the teacher walk in, Ben leaned back in his seat as your eyes followed where Ben had been looking.

"I guess class is starting..." Turning around in your seat, the ends of your hair sprawled out on Bens table, automatically playing with it the second his hands laid on the strands.

"Ben Solo, correct?" Looking up, Ben let go of your hair as he nodded up at the teacher. "I see, this must be as to why you are out of uniform." Looking down at his attire, Ben slightly shrugged as he turned his attention back up. "Since you seem friendly with miss Kenobi here, I assume she can help you catch up from the past few weeks lessons, correct?"

Feeling your cheeks heat up as everyone's eyes landed on you, you slowly turned and looked up with a small smile, nodding. "Yes, Mr. Koon."

"Perfect, let's start today's lesson!" He clapped before walking off to the front.

"Guess you're gonna gave to be my history tutor for a bit." Ben smiled as your heart raced.

"Y-yeah..." Rubbing your face, you found yourself lost in your thoughts throughout the class, still dumbfounded at how much Ben had changed.

When you had last seen him, he was so much shorter and scrawnier, a lot less hair and definitely not as social. You couldn't help but wonder what it was that made him _want_ to change, or maybe it just naturally happened? Whatever it was, you hated to admit that you were enjoying it.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you were about to turn around only to see Ben's hand sticking out with a small paper in between his fingers. Grabbing it, you opened the little note only to blush: _"the cheerleading uniform suits you"_

Gulping the slightest, you didn't even bother to respond, sliding it into the plastic of your binder as you tried setting your attention on the remainder of the lesson. Or at least _attempted_ and failed the second you felt Ben playing with your hair again.

"Next week we will be discussing your first minor project of the semester which I will be pairing you all up!" The teacher announced as the bell had rung, you instantly standing up and gathering your things, completely avoiding Ben.

Watching you leave, a smirk grew on his face as he nonchalantly grabbed his binder before getting up and exiting the classroom. It wasn't like it was his goal to make you flustered...or it _was_ , who was he kidding?

Rushing to your English class, you nearly rammed yourself into Rey as Finn walked up to you two. "You good?" He asked as you smiled with a nod.

"Y-yeah! Didn't want to be late..." You cleared your throat as Rey raised an eyebrow.

"You sure? You're a bit red-"

Rapidly clasping your hands onto your cheeks, you exclaimed, "I am?!"

Snickering, Rey nodded. "Did my brother do something? I know you two had back-to-back classes...so was-"

"No! No no, Ben didn't do anything...I was just, uh-I was thinking about...Hux!" You lied, Rey clearly catching on as Finn arched a brow.

"Hux actually made you flustered for once? That's a shock!" Walking into the class as he laughed, you shook your head as Reys eyebrows lifted, only to wrap an arm around your shoulders.

"It's alright, I know Ben can be very irritating, so if he is bugging you...just let me know." Rey winked as she patted your shoulder, walking off to her seat as you had done the same.

For the next two classes, you were thankful you hadn't seen Ben around, that is until lunch had started and everyone was already sat together--Poe, Finn, Rey, and yourself--only for Rey to spot Ben and call him over.

"Can you tell me why Hux never eats lunch with you?" Poe asked as you sighed.

"He's too busy doing class president stuff or doing things for his clubs and what not..." You picked at your food.

"It's only been like, what? Three weeks of school? And he has yet to sit with you...lame." Poe shook his head as you dropped yours, only for it to snap up as you heard someone sit next to you.

"I thought you weren't gonna want me to sit with you?" Ben spoke up as you froze.

"I'm not _that_ cruel, plus, you're good friends with Poe so it's only fair enough!" Rey shrugged as Poe's fist bumped Ben's, your eyes widening as you hadn't known the two were _that_ close.

"You two? Are close?" You asked as Poe nodded.

"Yep! My cousin went to school with Ben and they're friends, I went to visit my cousin one day and Ben was over and voila! Made friends with my friends brother." He nudged Rey as she rolled her eyes.

"Which meant Poe saw Ben more than I did cause he was _always_ visiting his cousin."

"A-always?" You stuttered. Even though you and Poe were best friends, he never truly knew about you and Ben or the fact that you had (have?) feelings for him.

"Yep, any chance I got I drove up with my family or me and BB-8. Not the droid I made in robotics class, my dog." He stated as Finn rubbed his forehead.

"Clearly your dog or that would've been weird." Finn stated.

"You still have the droid?" Ben asked as Poe smiled widely.

"Yeah, the little guy still works, I'm amazed! Do you still have R2?"

Looking back and forth, you were amazed how close the two had gotten. "Yeah, mom and dad loved it but Luke ended up keeping it."

"Aw, that's cool, he's proud of his nephew!"

"Shut up, Poe, Luke did it cause R2 was handy." Rey spoke up as Ben kicked her under the table. "Rude! This is what I get for letting you sit with us?"

"He's-he's fine sitting with us!" You nodded as Reys eyebrows narrowed while Ben and Poe exchanged looks, meanwhile Finn was too busy eating to pay attention. "The more the merrier...?"

"She's right, plus, he's _our_ friend...right y/n?" Poe wiggled his eyebrows as you slowly nodded.

"R-right!" You awkwardly smiled as Ben grinned.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Placing a hand on your exposed thigh from how high up your cheer skirt went, a yelp left your lips as you jumped.

"You okay?" Rey asked as Ben fought a smirk.

"I-I'm fine!" You took in a deep breath as your face grew hot, chills running throughout your body from the skin to skin contact. "I'm totally fine, I just, I got chills since my skirt is too short and my bare thighs are touching the bench..."

"Yeah, they make those cheer uniforms way too short." Rey shrugged as she chugged her water.

Taking in a deep breath, Ben couldn't help but smirk at how still you had grown, not even trying to squirm from underneath his touch or even swat his hand away. So he decided to test his limits, giving your thigh a small squeeze, causing you to nearly choke on your water. "Are you sure you're okay?" Ben asked as he faked a concerned look.

"I'm fine! I'm okay...trust me..." You breathed.

Giving your thigh another--yet _tighter_ \--squeeze, Ben purposely coughed as you had shrieked. Sucking your lips in as your hand held tightly onto your water bottle, Poes eyes bounced between you and Ben, only to grin as he knew something was going on. "Oh, Rey! I need to show you something!" Poe stood up. "Finn, you have to come, too!"

"What about-"

"They saw it already." Poe swatted a hand, instantly grabbing onto Finn and Rey, dragging the two out.

Watching them leave with a pleading expression, your head snapped over to Ben, "What are you doing?!"

"What do you mean?" He smiled.

"You know-" Looking down at his hand, you looked back up at him, "-what I mean!"

"It isn't bothering you, is it?" He questioned as you stayed shut.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Standing up, you rushed out, only to have Ben follow.

Storming into the bathroom and holding onto the sink, you took in deep breaths before tugging your skirt down. The fact that not even _Hux_ has ever touched your thigh made things worse--in all honesty, Hux wasn't the touchy-feely kind, so when Ben had done it, it was a bit... _satisfying_.

Letting out a sigh, you walked out, only to be pulled towards the lockers by Ben. "Ben? Did you follow me?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He nodded as he leaned a hand beside your head. "You seemed a bit...flustered."

"I was not!" You instantly retorted.

"Look, you can lie all you want, but you could have stopped me." Removing his hand, he glided his finger down your jaw, leaning forward and whispering, "...but you didn't." With a wink he backed up and walked away, leaving you standing there, knees weak as you watched him with wide eyes.

Gently touching your jaw, you took in a shaky breath before walking in the opposite direction to your next class. You were so very thankful that you only had Hux in the morning or else you would've been screwed.

. . .

"I knew it! I knew you were doing something!" Poe exclaimed as Ben instantly smacked his hand over his mouth.

"Shut it, okay? Only _we_ can know...I don't want any rumors to start-"

Pulling Ben's hand away, Poe nearly shouted, "But you touched her thigh!"

"I said shut it!" Ben pointed a finger as the two aimed for the doors of the locker room. "Not even Finn can know, okay?"

Raising a hand in the air, Poe nodded. "He won't, my lips are sealed."

Pushing his hand through his hair, Ben took in a deep breath. "I can't believe she actually let me do it...I was gonna stop the second she smacked my hand away, but she didn't and I kept going and she just _allowed_ me."

"Were you turned on by it?" Poe wiggled his eyebrows as Ben shoved him. "You were, weren't you!"

"Quit it, Poe, all she knows is that I've changed and I'm not that awkward kid anymore-"

"But you still are-"

" _Poe_..." Ben raised an eyebrow as Poe lifted his hands up in defense.

"I'm sorry, it isn't like she'd find out that you're actually a complete perverted emo-"

"I am not!"

"See how fast you responded? You're a perverted emo, it's who you are, embrace it." Poe winked as Ben glared.

"Why the hell would I want to embrace being a perverted emo? That's flat out _wrong_." Ben shook his head as they exited the locker room.

"Because, let's see...long dark hair, black shirt, black pants, black shoes...emo." Poe pointed out as Ben rolled his eyes. "Gets turned on by the sight of y/n's cheerleading uniform, totally digs the skirt, and probs had a boner when you touched her thigh..."

"I just don't have the uniform yet, okay?! I am _not_ emo." Ben gritted his teeth before shouting, "And I did not have a fuckin' boner!"

Patting Ben's back, Poe scoffed, "What ever you say, buddy...just as long as you _don't_ get a boner this time around."

"Why's that?" Ben asked as Poe nudged his head over to where you, Finn and Rey had been standing. You being in your gym shorts and extremely tight top that hugged your body too well. "I-I-"

"Don't drool, either. Come on, emo boy." Dragging Ben with him, Poe laughed as his best friend couldn't even form words with his jaw hanging loose.

"First her cheerleading uniform and now her gym clothes-"

"Wait till you see her school uniform, she sometimes wears pretty short skirts, so your kink is fulfilled." Poe stated as Ben's heart skipped a beat.

"I am going to die."


	4. Silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Silk by Wolf Alice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight warning: ben's a perv

"So mind telling me as to why you never thought to mention, oh...I don't know? That your brother was moving back?!" You nearly shouted at Rey as the two of you sat in between two book shelves, in the middle of doing homework although a _certain_ someone couldn't help but think about Ben.

The entire time during gym, your eyes were glued on Ben; although he didn't have the proper attire, he still participated and decided to play basketball with Poe and Finn. Each and every time Ben would shoot, you found yourself drooling at the sight of his v-line whenever his shirt would lift up. It was safe to say that gym class was spent doing _nothing_ but gawking.

"In all honesty, it was pretty last minute," Rey chuckled. "Dad was begging to move back and his business project was finally over with--no one expected it to take _four_ years--but it did." Seeing Rey shrug, you sighed. "But they're back now and mom is so happy, well, I am as well but mom was in literal tears."

Taking in a deep breath, you pulled your knees closer to your chest as you lifted your book up and covered your face, embarrassed by the fact that you _wanted_ to cry when you first saw Ben and realized who it was. "Aww...that's so... _cute_." Gulping, you leaned the book against your forehead whereas Rey was too busy _actually_ looking at her textbooks content.

"Yeah...but she's so in shock by Ben's change." Shutting your eyes, you bit your bottom lip. "I mean...he's much taller, taller than dad, and has gained so much muscle. I guess he had enough of being picked on. It's about damn time, it isn't cool always having to defend him, y'know?" Rey stated as you looked up, blinking as you felt your heart sink. The thought of Ben being bullied was upsetting and only made your stomach turn.

Walking along the aisles as Ben didn't want to sit anywhere visible, feeling too vulnerable, he came to a sudden stop as he recognized the small figure sitting against one of the shelves. Feeling himself freeze, his eyes instantly landed on an area they _shouldn't_ have but already _had_. Blinking at the sight, Ben gulped-- _don't stare, don't stare, don't stare_ \--he mentally repeated to himself as his eyes were glued on your exposed underwear. Feeling himself wanting to whine from the sudden arousal, your attention turned up to him as your cheeks reddened. "H-Hey Ben!" You smiled as he forced his focus to shift.

"Hey, kid." He nudged his head over to you, trying to keep his cool although his bottom half wasn't. Moving his binder over his hips, he smirked at you as Rey only leaned over and looked up at him, causing Ben to sigh as he didn't expect you to have company. "Rey."

"Ben." She arched an eyebrow, only to return to her original position.

"Do you want to sit with us?" You sweetly asked as Ben smiled over to you, taking your offer and sitting right beside you. "How was your day?"

"Good, classes and teachers aren't so bad, but much better than my old high school." Ben admitted as you smiled. "Especially since I have old friends here." He winked as you quietly swallowed.

"I bet it feels amazing!" You nodded nervously. "What's your favorite class?"

"Probably history..." He casually stated as you felt your heart sink--the class where it's just the two of you. "You know, I have _the_ best seat in that class and a _great_ view."

Feeling your heart flutter, you took in small breaths, wanting to fan your face. "That's...great!"

"Like you care? Anywhere you sit is the best seat with a great view, you big nerd." Rey spoke up without bothering to lift her head up as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Not entirely, all of my other classes lack great views, history just has the best one." He shrugged as you blinked, trying to steady your racing heart. "But, you wouldn't understand anyways."

"The view of the greenery, big whoop..." Rolling her eyes, Rey flipped through the book in her hold.

"Yeah, that's it alright..." Ben scoffed before turning his attention back to you, noticing how red and slightly uneasy you were getting from what he had been saying. "Gym isn't so bad-"

"Tell me about it..." You breathed, thinking about Ben's v-line. "Sorry."

Smiling, he shrugged, "It's fine."

"You two wanna like, keep it down? I'm trying to study, here...something _you_ should be doing, y/n." Rey called out as you sighed, not wanting to do anything else but talk to Ben as he was far more interesting than your upcoming math exam.

"How about we go outside and talk?" Instantly nodding your head, Ben stood up and stuck out his hand.

"Seriously, y/n?" Rey questioned as you nodded your head.

"It's been four years, Rey, you can't possibly understand." Grabbing his hand and standing up with your things, you walked on as Ben followed while Rey gasped. "Was I too mean?"

Shaking his head as he snickered, ben swatted his hand. "Not at all, to Rey, there's no such thing as too mean."

"I just have no enthusiasm or drive to study when I have too much on my mind..." You stated as the two of you exited the library.

"Like what?" Ben curiously asked as you swallowed hard.

"Uh...like my performance today at the football game, I have to focus on that! And-and...plenty of other things that are of no importance." You nodded as Ben's eyebrows lightly narrowed.

"I see...I would love to see you cheer, when's the game?" Ben asked as your cheeks grew red again.

"After school," You stated while taking in a deep breath, in hopes he'd go. It wasn't like Hux ever had. "You should so go, you know, to support Poe!"

Smirking as he nodded in agreement, he then pinched your cheek, "And to support you, as well."

Blushing, you slyly looked away as Ben walked on, hands deep into his pockets as you sighed. You couldn't possibly get used to the drastic change he had--it was eating you alive that he never kept his promise...but what were you going to do about it when it only made your matters far more worse? "How was it living with just your dad for so long?"

Looking over at you at your sudden question, Ben shrugged the slightest, "It wasn't all that bad...he wasn't home that often, though, since he was super busy...so it was a bit lonely. At first, I enjoyed the quietness, but eventually it drove me insane and I found myself hanging out at other places to do homework and what not."

Nodding your head as the two of you found yourselves walking towards the back exit that lead to the football field, you muttered. "Oh..."

"Luckily, I met Poe's cousin and a few other people who were pretty cool and befriended them, two of them--including Poe's cousin--I still talk to today...the other one, not so much." Pushing the door open and gesturing for you to go out first, Ben followed you behind.

"That's good that you made such friends!" You smiled over at him. "I know how much of a struggle it was for you, or at least used to be."

Sighing and crossing his arms behind his head, Ben shrugged, "Eh...I've grown out of it, I'm not so shy anymore and I really don't have the will to be as reserved as I used to be. I've become pretty ruthless to those who bother me and grown some thick skin."

"I can see that..." You mumbled as you felt the slightest of disappointed. As attractive Ben may have seemed with all his changes, you couldn't bare the fact that he possibly wasn't that sweet and innocent boy he used to be--even if it was _bound_ to happen.

"But enough about me," Ben grinned, walking alongside you as the two of you decided to hangout on the side of the bleachers. "You've changed so much!" He exclaimed as you took in a deep breath. "I mean, you seem much more responsible and, from what I can tell, you're doing good in school if you're in cheerleading and have a few advanced classes."

"Yeah, I don't come late to school anymore, I've matured a bit." You stated as you messed with the hem of the cheer skirt.

"That's good hear!" Ben smiled as he came to a stop, looking down at you. "You're still short and you've clearly have changed physically...but I still remembered you." Feeling your heart skip a beat, Ben's voice lowered the slightest, "I just can't believe you forgot me."

Snapping your head up, your stomach turned. "That's because you were gone for four years..."

"Yeah, and I hadn't seen you in all that time and I still remembered you." He chuckled as you felt your eyes watering up.

"But you've changed..." Your voice faltered. "Four years...four years, Ben, and you've changed as if it's been ten."

Seeing how serious you had become, Ben furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm still me, though, just taller and more built."

"That-that isn't it, Ben!" You exclaimed as his eyebrows narrowed even more. "You don't get it, do you?!" Feeling the tears threaten to spill, you shook your head as you shut your eyes. "I waited four years, _four years_ to see or hear from you! And nothing! I never once got anything from you!" You shoved him. "I always asked Rey about you but found myself slowly backing off because not once had you asked for me or tried communicating with me!"

Growing wide-eyed as you continuously pushed him, Ben gulped. "I told myself that you'd come back, that I had to give it time, but the days kept passing and you never did! But now you're back and you've changed...you're not the same Ben I knew. You broke-you broke your promise!"

"I can't stop puberty-"

"That isn't it, asshole!" Shoving him once again (but this time with more force) Ben stumbled back just enough to trip and fall back, you falling with him and colliding against his chest as you cried into it. "I thought I wasn't going to see my best friend ever again..." Gulping at the sound of best friend, Ben slowly wrapped his arms around you. "I thought I had lost you...and now you're back and you're... _different_." Your voice grew low as you clutched onto his shirt and sobbed.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." He softly spoke, staring at the sky as your words repeated in his head. He never thought, for once in his life, that you'd considered him as your best friend.

"Please, don't ever leave again...I don't want to go through that all over again."

"Never..." Shutting his eyes, he hadn't realized how much he had truly missed you until he had you in his arms.

Feeling yourself calm down as he held tightly onto you, you focused on the sound of his beating heart as you tried steadying your erratic breathing.

"Four years was too long to be away from you..." Reopening his eyes, a few tears had escaped. "I'm sorry."

Sitting up as Ben had loosened his grip, you wiped your tears away with your sleeves. "I shouldn't have gone off on you so suddenly, it's just, you were gone for so long..."

"I know, I promise I won't ever do that again." Sitting up and lowering your hands from your face, Ben rubbed his thumbs against your cheeks as he wiped the tears that continuously slipped. "I mean, what kind of best friend would do that?"

Looking up and seeing him smile, you instantly engulfed him in a hug. "A bad best friend."

. . .

"Where the hell are they?" Rey mumbled to herself as she stood outside the library, rounding back to it as she had searched the nearby halls and not getting a single sign from either of you. "They didn't just completely ditch me, did they?"

"We've been waiting for you in the band room! Did you forget, we have one more rehearsal?" Looking over to her left as she recognized the voice, Rey sighed.

"Sorry, I was just looking for Ben and y/n..." Pushing her hand through her hair, Rey turned to Finn. "Why do we need rehearsal, anyway? It's not like-"

"Every time you complain about pre-game rehearsals, you always end up being grateful that we do them because a certain _someone_ forgets her notes." Finn crossed his arms as Rey rolled her eyes.

"Oh, shut up." Looking around the area one last time, she let out a deep breath, "I guess we can go..."

"I'm sure Ben went home and y/n went to practice for the game, no worries." Grabbing her hand, Finn pulled Rey over to the band room.

"You're coming to the game, right?" You asked Ben as the two of you stood in front of the girls locker room. After your little outburst, the two of you had decided it wasn't the best to be on the side of the bleachers all on your own, Ben not wanting any rumors to start and cause any trouble. Eventually, you two ended up on the bleachers catching up before you realized you had to meet up with your cheer team. Ben didn't tell you everything, or the full on truth, but just enough to make you think he was fine the four years he was gone.

"I wouldn't miss it for a thing," He shrugged as you smiled.

"I mean, to support your sister and friend on the field! Rey's killer in band and Poe's an amazing football player." You nodded as Ben smiled down at you.

"Yeah, but I think I'm most excited to see you." Feeling your heart skip a beat, you swallowed as you felt your cheeks flourish with heat. "I mean, enthusiastically supporting a team is always pretty cool."

Shoving his arm, you chuckled. "It's called _cheerleading_."

"Yeah yeah, I'll definitely go watch you and your organized chanting."

" _Ben_ ," Slumping your shoulder, Ben snickered as he ruffled your hair.

"I'm just missing with you, kid." Grunting, you patted down your hair as Ben shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I have to go..." You sighed. "We have to do a quick practice routine and then head over."

"I guess I'll see you then?" He smirked as you nodded. "I'm sure you'll do great."

"Thank you." You lightly grinned, only to see Ben lean in as your stomach turned.

Hovering his lips over your cheek, he softly spoke, "Good luck." Leaving a soft kiss, he stood back up straight, turning around and walking off. "Although I'm sure you don't need it." Waving a hand in the air as a goodbye, you waved back, only to let out a deep breath before walking into the locker room.

It didn't help one bit that the entire practice, bus ride, and preparation for the game, you had been thinking about Ben...and _only_ Ben. He was running your mind and you weren't sure whether you were annoyed or enjoyed it. As much as you missed the old Ben, the new Ben was much more...courageous and smug, and you were growing to like it--if not-- _love_ it.

Looking onto the field as you eyed Rey, you instantly waved over at her and Finn as they waved back. Turing your attention to the crowd, you felt a sudden wave of excitement hit you as you had spotted Ben, instantly smiling as he locked eyes with you. "Hey!" You called out as he walked to the edge of the bleachers. "You came!"

"I told you, I wouldn't miss it for anything." Ben smiled. "Plus, Rey kept annoying me about how you and I ditched her so I owed her an apology on both of our behalves." He shrugged.

"You're just being a good brother." You winked as he chuckled.

"I guess so."

"The game starts soon...have you been to any high school football games before?" You curiously asked as Ben shook his head.

"Never caught my attention, too busy interested in more of the performing arts." He nodded as you raised your eyebrows.

"Really? That's cool, I'm in theater!" You exclaimed as Ben's eyes slightly widened.

"Seriously?" Eagerly nodding your head, he snickered. "Never thought you'd be into theater..."

"I love it! It's great! I usually try out for plays and musicals if I have time since cheerleading takes over most of my life...but, yeah, it's fun and I love the feel of it."

"That's great, maybe one day I can see you sing and act on stage." He smiled as you smiled back, nodding.

"Yeah, totally! I'll let you know if it happens!" You shrieked as Ben laughed.

"Alright, get into your spots!" Your cheer coach called out as you looked over.

"That's my cue, I'll see you later?" You asked as you slowly backed up.

"Yeah, definitely!" Ben grinned.

"Alright, enjoy the game!" You waved.

"Break a leg, doll face." He saluted, turning around and walking back up the bleachers as you stood there, blushing. _Doll face_. Were you ever going to get used to his newfound nicknames for you? _Probably not._

It was safe to say that the entire game, you were anxious, trying to act like ben _wasn't_ there watching you; and when you had noticed him in the crowd, it gave you a reason not to slack or to be nervous.

Throughout most of the game, you hadn't noticed that Ben had been far more enthralled in you than his own friend on the field playing. He had hoped he was being sly about it as he really didn't want you catching him staring over at you like the creep he was being; but he couldn't help it, you had changed so much yourself, and in his eyes--you were even more beautiful than last time he had seen you.

Giving the crowd one last cheer, your eyes suddenly locked with Ben's, you finding yourself freezing up only to instantly snap out of it as you realized this wasn't the time to grow still when you were in the middle of a routine. "Y/n!" One of your friends mumbled over to you as you snapped your attention to her. "You're up!"

Gulping, you nearly had forgotten that you were one of the flyers, feeling your heart race as you could feel Ben's eyes latched onto you--now you definitely couldn't screw up. "Thanks." You muttered over to her as she nodded.

"What's going on with y/n?" One of the football players spoke over to Poe as the two of them kept their attention on the cheer squad.

Looking from you and Ben, Poe smirked the slightest. "She just has a lot on her mind...you know, school's stressful." Nodding his head, the boy turned his attention to the rest of the crowd as Poe continuously looked between the two of you. "Especially when you've got two lovers..." He mumbled to himself.

"This isn't like y/n, she's always focused and on point." Finn muttered over to Rey as Rey arched an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

"Yeah...very unlike her..." Looking into the crowd, she instantly spotted her brother, following his gaze and choking. "That bastard."

"What? What is it?" Finn wondered as Rey swatted a hand.

"Nothing, just remembered how Ben took something from me and never returned it..." Keeping her focus on the two of you, Finn simply nodded. "Unbelievable..."

Finishing up the routine, you took in a deep breath before heading over to one of the benches--you had felt even more worn out than you usually had after performances. "You alright?" Your coach asked as you nodded.

"Yeah, just, a lot on my mind...sorry about that, coach Tano." You breathed, chugging your water as your coach narrowed her eyes just a smidgen.

"Try clearing up your mind when your out there, I know how hard it can be to juggle after school activities with in school issues." She stated before patting your shoulder, then walking off as you nodded.

"Tell me about it..." Sighing, you shoved your face into the palm of your hands, more than happy that the game was about to end as it had been in its last few minutes of the final quarter. 

. . .

"See you guys tomorrow!" You waved to the remaining cheerleaders who hadn't left yet, you aiming towards the parking lot.

"Hey, kid!" Turning around, your heart fluttered as they landed on Ben. "You did great out there!" He smiled as he jogged over to you, only to come to a stop. 

"Oh, uh, th-thanks..." Taking in a deep breath, you nodded as you held tightly onto your duffle bag. "Thanks, again, for coming."

Grinning, Ben shrugged. "It's nothing, I'll gladly come to any other game to support you-" Growing wide eyed, Ben suddenly added on, "And Rey and Poe, of course!"

"Oh, yeah! That'd be great of you, we'd all appreciate it." Smiling up at him, Ben let out the smallest of sighs in relief as he kept his gaze on you.

"Do you need a ride home?" He curiously asked as you looked over towards the bus stop, not seeing the bus yet.

"Well, I was going to take the bus home-"

"I'll take you home, it's no big deal." He shrugged. "Plus, I haven't seen your parents in a while, so I think it would be great." 

Gulping, you forced a smile. "Y-yeah...yeah, uh-I guess you can see them-I mean, take me." Shaking your head, you felt like a complete doofus around him each time you spoke. "Sorry, I'm just really tired and not all here..." You partially lied as Ben wrapped an arm around your shoulder, turning you around to walk to his car.

"It's fine, it's a Monday and it's terrible that you had a game to attend to, you must be exhausted."

Taking in a quiet breath, you nodded. "Beyond exhausted...physically and mentally drained."

"Then I guess I'm your savior since I'm sure if you took the bus you would've probably fallen asleep and missed your stop." 

Sensing that Ben had been looking down at you as you kept your focus ahead, you chuckled. "Oh, it's happened before...it was pretty bad and it was a Tuesday night and I ended up coming home at like eleven. Luckily, my dad picked me up instead of me going on the bus again."

Narrowing his eyebrows the slightest, Ben pulled out his keys. "Sorry to hear...at least you were okay."

"Yeah...yeah. I'm still a bit immature..." Awkwardly fiddling your thumbs as you looked down at them, Ben softly smiled. 

As much as he wanted to hold you close to him and say how you were the cutest, he simply pinched your cheek as he gave you a wide grin. "That's fine, so am I." Feeling your heart flutter as you looked up at him, you gave him a small smile before looking back down. "Here we are!" Stopping in front of the car, you tilted your head the slightest as Ben went to open the passenger door--something Hux rarely did.

"Is-isn't this your dad's old car?" You questioned, eyeing the 1977 Chevy Impala.

"Yeah, it's his 'precious baby' but I take more care of it than him and he allows me to use it here and there...usually for school, but I kinda borrowed it for tonights event." He nodded as he held your door open, you looking over and swiftly walking to him as you thanked him before sitting down. 

Taking in deep breaths as you tried your best to steady your overly beating heart, you swallowed hard as you sat there and stared at your thighs, messing with the hem of the skirt before hearing Ben get in to the drivers seat. "You're lucky your dad at least gave you a car...my dad says I can't have a car just yet so I rely on the bus or my own two feet."

Looking over at you as Ben could see the disappointment in your eyes, he suddenly shifted in his seat as his face lit up. "Since I live close I can totally give you rides to and from school! If the car doesn't breakdown on me which happens randomly...but when it's working, I can totally do it."

Shooting your head up as you smiled, your eyes widened the slightest. "Really?! I mean, I don't want to be a bother-"

"Not a bother at all, it's fine by me! Plus, maybe one day I can bring you over and we can hang out." Feeling your cheeks heat up, you slowly nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Shifting his eyes from either of your own as you gazed at him, he half smiled.

"Great," He softly spoke. "Uh, I should get going, don't want you going to bed too late." Quickly turning his attention away, he popped in a cassette causing you to narrow your eyebrows.

"A cassette? So you're one of those indie kids who likes using those?" You chuckled.

"Well, seeing as this is an old car and it costs too much to convert it into a CD player, I make my own cassettes...and buy a few." Nodding your head as Ben raised the music, you were curious as to what exactly his music taste was. "Now, don't expect your Lady Gaga or Ariana Grande-"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with some Ariana Grande!" You pointed a finger as Ben playfully rolled his eyes.

"There isn't, but, most of my music is pretty...different." He stated as the first song began. "This band's called Wolf Alice, they're pretty cool...maybe you'll like them."

Listening to the playlist as you and Ben sat in silence, allowing the music to take over, Ben told you here and there who had performed and what the song was called--and, in all honesty, you grew to love each one you heard. "That one's pretty emo, Ben." You teased.

"Well, not all their songs are as upbeat as the other, but it's one of my favorites." He pointed out as he kept his focus on the road. 

"It isn't bad, I'll admit, I like it." Nodding your head, Ben looked at you for a moment as he smiled. "What's it called again?" You curiously asked.

"Silk." Smiling, you wrote the song and its artist in the notes of your phone, "If you want, I can burn a CD for you with the songs you like? I mean, after a few rides with me and you tell which ones you like best."

"Oh, yeah, totally! I need more variety in my music-"

"I thought there was nothing wrong with Ariana Grande?" He teased as you rolled your eyes.

"There _isn't_ , but it's always nice to have a variety in artists." You crossed your arms as Ben chuckled.

"Well, I guess you're just going to have to ditch the bus and ride with me for now on." Smiling, you nodded to yourself. If that was an excuse to be around him, then, so be it.


	5. She Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: She Way Out by The 1975

"Thanks for the ride," Gathering your things as you smiled, you looked over to Ben, "Don't you want to come inside? Just to say hi to my parents? My brothers aren't home as they're away in college so..."

Eagerly nodding his head, Ben shut off his car. "Yeah, sure!"

Smiling, you opened the car door to get out as Ben had done the same, you pulling out your keys. "You know, my mom always asks about you so she'll be more than thrilled to see you."

Following you behind as the two of you went to the front door, Ben felt his heart flutter--he truly loved the feeling of being wanted. "That's great, I'm sure she won't recognize me though..."

Unlocking the door, you looked over at him, "We'll see about that." Pushing the door open as you removed your keys, you called out, "I'm home! I also brought a guest!" Dropping your duffle bag to a side, you sighed in bliss, happy to be _finally_ home.

Hearing quick patters, you suddenly saw a flash of white as Jupiter ran up to you. "Hey, Jup!" You smiled, crouching down to pet the cat as she nuzzled up against you.

"You got home quick, was the bus-" Cutting herself off as she had rounded the corner, your mom gasped. "Y/n, is that Ben?!"

Narrowing his eyebrows, Ben was thrown aback at how easily your mom recognized him. "How did she...?" He whispered to you as you shrugged, standing back up, holding Jupiter in your arms as she rubbed her head under your chin.

"Oh my gosh, you've gotten so...handsome!" Instantly blushing, Ben fell still as you shook your head.

"Mom, don't be so blunt." You rolled your eyes as you walked past her.

"Come on, Ben, you must be hungry." Pulling him over by the arm, Ben suddenly felt nervous. "I can't believe how tall you've gotten! And your hair has changed, as long with everything else!" Your mom spoke in awe, pulling out a plate for Ben as she placed it on the table, next to yours. "I hope you don't mind lasagna!"

"That sounds good!" He nodded as you held up Jupiter, Ben turning around and suddenly seeing the cat in the air, lightly meowing. "Hello, there." He smiled, grabbing onto the cat as she rested in his hold.

"She must've missed you, as well..." You pointed out as the cat purred while Ben softly pet the top of her head.

"I'll tell you one thing, she's far better than my cat."

"Your cat? Since when did you have a cat? I thought all you had was Chewie?" You questioned as your nose had scrunched up.

"Yeah, I got him when I moved, thought it would be nice to have a pet with me...but I was wrong, so very wrong. He's satan on four legs, he hates everyone, even me." He rolled his eyes.

"He can't be that _bad_..." You swatted your hand.

"He bites anyone who goes to hold him...I'm not much of a victim like my parents and Rey are as I am his owner, but that doesn't stop him."

"Oh, I wanna meet him, maybe he'll be nice to me! You never know?" You shrugged as Ben shook his head.

"We'll see about that." Placing Jupiter down, you and ben went to wash your hands as your mom served you two the food.

"Your father should be here in any-"

"Honey, why is there an old ass chevy in the driveway?" Your father called out from the front of the house as he had walked in.

"-second...well, he's here."

"That's because it's Ben's car!" You leaned back to see your dad.

"Ben? Ben who?" He questioned as he walked over, only to stop. "Who is this? Y/n, do not tell me this is another boy you brought to the house-"

"Dad! I'm still with Hux." You chuckled as Ben rolled his eyes, your mom noticing. "This is Ben, Ben Solo? You must remember..."

"Oh...oh yeah! No way, this isn't that nerd!"

"Dad!" Swatting his chest, your dad kept his eyes on Ben.

"What? He looks so... _different_ and... _dark._ " Your dad raised his eyebrows as you muttered an apology to Ben.

"Hello, sir." Standing up from his seat as he bowed his head, Ben stuck out his hand. "It's been a long time."

" _Clearly_..." Noticing how much he had grown, your father shook Ben's hand before letting go. "So damn tall." He whispered to your mom as she nodded.

"So, when did you move back? You were gone for quite a while, y/n was really depressed-"

" _Mom..._ " You snapped as Ben felt his stomach fill with butterflies.

"Sorry, she was _overwhelmed with sadness_ that you had gone that on Halloween she didn't even do a thing, and that's her second favorite holiday-"

"Mom, please!"

Sitting there, stunned, Ben nervously laughed. "Yeah, I felt just as bad being gone, I mean, we had become good friends in such short period of time..." Gulping, you looked down at your food as you felt your heart lodged up in your throat.

"I can only imagine where you two would be, now-"

"Not together, that's for sure." Your dad spoke up as you face-palmed, your mom smacking his arm.

"Honey, why don't you go and eat in the dining room?"

"But-"

" _Go._ " Your mom insisted as he sighed. "Like I was saying, I'm sure you two would be even closer now, just as she is with Rey...maybe _more_." Your mom smiled as your heart thumped.

"Yeah, but I'm back now, so hopefully that'll happen!" Ben smiled as you swallowed, feeling your cheeks burn.

"I hope so, too..." You added as ben looked over at you for a moment, you giving him a quick smile before looking away, your mom smirking.

"Anyways, I've got things to do upstairs, you two enjoy." Smiling, she then walked off as she left you with Ben.

"She remembered me." He looked over at you as you dropped your head in shame.

"I said I was _sorry_..."

Ruffling your hair, Ben only chuckled. "It's okay, at least you're still my best friend."

Nodding, you let down your fork as you tried fixing your hair. "I may have to rethink that when you keep messing up my hair!"

Laughing, Ben only poked your cheek. "You're home, who cares." Blushing, you shook your head at how nonchalant Ben was.

. . .

"Thanks, again, for taking me home." You smiled as you stood at the front door of your home.

"It's nothing, honestly. If you want, I can give you a ride tomorrow morning?" He asked as you nodded.

"Yeah, sure, just...uh," Turning around to get your phone, you unlocked it and handed it to him. "Give me your number and I'll let you know."

Getting a hold of it as he saved his number, Ben sent himself a message. "Now I have your number." He smiled, handing your phone back.

"Better best friend? If Rey saw that you saved your contact as this, she would flip." You locked your phone as you then looked up, seeing him smirk.

"That's the whole point." He winked as you nudged him.

"I'm changing it to bb for Benny boy." You snickered as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Of course..." He sighed. "Well, I gotta get going, thanks for dinner."

"Anytime." You smiled, naturally pulling him into a hug and catching him off guard, only for Ben to hug back. "Hold on, someone is attacking my leg..." You mumbled as you let go, turning around to see Jupiter meow. "I think she wants to say goodbye." Picking her up, Ben rubbed under her chin as he smiled.

"I'll be back soon, you'll see me again." Hearing her meow, he smiled even more.

"Alright, get home safe, okay?" You nodded as Ben nodded back.

"Will do." Turning around and watching him walk to his car, you held Jupiter close as you waved goodbye. "See you tomorrow!"

Seeing him get into his car, you took in a deep breath. "See you." Closing the door, Jupiter meowed as you grinned. "I know, he's great."

. . .

Sitting at the counter as you had scarfed down your breakfast, patiently waiting for Ben, you couldn't help but think about how rare it was for Hux to pick you up. His excuses always consisted of "your house isn't nearby" or "I have to get to school earlier for student government" and even sometimes "I don't have time" which only made you give up on the thought of relying on your own _boyfriend_ for rides to and from school.

Sighing as you messed with a laser pointer as Jupiter chased it, your phone suddenly buzzed, causing you to jump. **I'm here!** Smiling at the message, you hopped off the counter and placed the laser back in a drawer. "Bye, Jup!" You smiled as you kissed her head.

Rushing over to the front door and walking out, you locked it before aiming towards Ben's car; you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the slightest of excited for a simple car ride.

Seeing you approach the car, Ben took in a deep breath as his eyes landed on your attire. Poe was right and Ben wasn't prepared to see you in your uniform, not when you wore knee socks with that plaid skirt--which only made things _far_ more worse for him. _Just don't look down there and you'll be good_. "Good Morning!" He smiled as you plopped on to the passenger seat.

"Hey!" You smiled back, only to realize he had actually been in uniform this time around. Trying your best not to check him out, you swallowed the newfound lump in your throat. The way his tie was loosely placed around his haphazardly buttoned up dress shirt's collar only made you want to rip it open--especially when the top three buttons were already undone. Forcing yourself to snap out of it, you looked up at his hair to see it was still the pushed back mess like the day before; as much as you wished he'd fix it, somehow you loved the somewhat ragged look. "Thanks a million for the ride-"

"Don't worry about it, trust me, at least _someone_ will accompany me to school unlike my own sister." He rolled his eyes as he backed out of your driveway.

"She doesn't like riding with you?"

"Nope, she prefers leaving with Finn or Poe, even some of her band friends...but that's on her." He shrugged.

"Ah, well, to each its own." You nodded as Ben shrugged. "What artists will you be playing today?"

"Well, we still have Wolf Alice...we also have The 1975, Twenty One Pilots, and The Killers." He stated.

"Oh, The Killers! I only know two songs, though...but it's their popular songs, so it's nothing big." You nodded as Ben chuckled.

"How about we start it off with She Way Out by the 1975?" Raising the volume as the music started, you soon found yourself bobbing along.

For the next few days it was like this, Ben taking you to and from school, even staying after to watch your practice go on, claiming that he did it to "take you home after" when (in reality) he did it because he found it amusing to see you practice--especially when you were really good at it.

"Don't lie to yourself." Poe snickered as he changed back into his uniform. "You don't go to support her, you go to see her in her outfit-"

"She isn't in it all the time, okay, they practice in whatever they want!" Ben corrected as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Forgive me, you go to see her in her sports bra and skin tight shorts because why wouldn't you be turned on by that?" Poe teased as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Leave me alone, I only go because A: I am her ride and B: Hux is a shitty boyfriend and doesn't support her so being the good best friend I am, I take his place."

"Both are very true, but admit it, you'll do anything to be around her, lover boy-"

"Shut up!" Ben covered Poe's mouth as he looked around his surroundings. "Nobody needs to know, okay? I don't want any trouble, it's enough that it's been almost a week since I started and I've been trouble free."

Removing Bens hand, Poe shrugged. "As long as you don't cause shit with Hux, you're fine."

"He's too busy being a teachers pet to even have time to notice that his girlfriend is hanging out with her best friend a lot more than himself... _psht_." Ben rolled his eyes. "I can't believe she ended up with him in the end."

"If you hadn't moved, I'm sure it would've been you...after all, you are her _first_ kiss, and that's something Hux can never say. Although he doesn't know that-"

"Neither should you, so keep your mouth shut." Shutting his locker as he gathered his things, both Ben and Poe exited the locker room. "I'm just her best friend, nothing more, I will not ruin that relationship even if I know it's wrong."

"We'll see about that..." Poe smirked.

"Poe, I am not an asshole, I will not be a dick about it and cause the two to breakup even if I want to be with her. If it's bound to happen, it'll happen _naturally_."

"Let's hope so, cause I'm rooting for you." Patting Ben's back, the two walked off.

. . .

"Alright, that should be it you didn't miss much since you're only like two weeks late." You nodded as you had shut your history book, reviewing what your class had gone through before Ben had arrived. "Monday we'll be doing our first project of the school year, so there's that."

"Okay, this isn't so bad." Ben looked over his notes before closing them. "Although I'm still a bit lost, I think I'll find my way around."

"Maybe I can do a review with you? Since I've only had a short amount of time during each study hall to teach you what you missed, we can go over it again?" You looked over at him as Ben had done the same to you.

"Oh, yeah, totally! Just let me know when-"

"After school? I don't have practice today since it was cancelled and it's a Friday so we'll have enough time." Grinning at him, Ben felt a smile grow on his face.

"Yeah, that's good with me, we can go straight to my place if you want? Maybe then you can meet my demon cat." He chuckled as you then shoved him.

"I can't wait, then." Gazing over at him as he had done the same to you, the sudden silence was instantly disrupted as Rey popped her head from around a corner. "H-hey, Rey!" You smiled as Ben sighed, rolling his eyes from how his sister killed the mood.

"Hey, bud! Ben..." Completely ignoring her as he swatted a hand, she took in a deep breath. "I thought I'd surprise you with something, well, someone."

"What do you mean?" Standing up as you placed your notebook to a side, someone then popped from behind rey, causing you to shriek. "Natasha!" Instantly going to hug the girl, she hugged back.

"Hey! I'm happy to be back even though it's pretty late..." The blonde spoke.

"That's fine, I'm sure it's excused, but you're back! I'm so happy!" You squealed as you had let her go, almost forgetting Ben was there. "Oh, Natasha, this is Ben...my _other_ best friend." You pointed as Rey arched an eyebrow. "Ben, this is my cousin, Natasha." You smiled as he stood up to greet her.

"Other best friend? So Rey and Poe aren't the only title holders?" Natasha teased as Rey groaned. "Although I'm sure Rey took Poe's place..."

"Ben is Rey's older brother, same grade level though and I met them around the same time." You stated as Natasha nodded.

"Oh wait, _the_ Ben! The Ben you always-" Covering her mouth, you awkwardly chuckled as Rey narrowed her eyebrows while Ben had done the same.

"She just meant that I mentioned you because I hadn't seen you in so long!" You lied.

"Ah, well it's nice to meet you." Ben smiled before sitting back down.

"What are you two doing?" Rey asked as she crossed her arms.

"Oh, reviewing what he missed in history, which, I have to do the same with chem...I almost forgot." You looked over at him as he nodded.

"We can do that later, as well." Tilting her head the slightest, Rey kept her focus on Ben as he simply ignored her.

"Right! Anyway, I'm so glad you're back! You're in the cheer squad still, right?" Seeing her nod, you clapped, only to be shushed. "I guess I better get back to studying, I'll see you two later!" You whispered as Rey held onto Natasha's shoulder, glaring at her brother before turning around and walking off.

"I didn't know you had a cousin? Well, I mean, who attended this school." Ben looked over at you as you nodded.

"She went to my middle school as well but left in the summer of seventh, then came back midway through eighth grade and met Rey and Poe." You stated as you started gathering your things, seeing as how the school day--and week--was almost over in just a few minutes.

Watching you stand up, Ben did the same as he tossed his backpack over his shoulder, "That explains why I didn't know." He sighed as you nodded.

"It's alright, you met her anyways!" You smiled over at him before walking out from between the bookshelves you two sat in. "By the way, I was checking out a few of the bands you had shown me and I started listening to Wolf Alice." You spoke over your shoulder. "I think my favorite is Your Loves Whore!"

"Really?" Ben grinned as he stuffed a hand into one of his pants pockets while the other held onto the strap of his bag. "That _would_ be your favorite."

Stopping midstep as your hand lied against the library door, you looked over at him, "And you say that because...?"

Arching an eyebrow at him, Ben chuckled as he lifted his hands up in defense. "Because the one song that's somewhat the nicest would be your favorite, I mean-"

"I'll have you know I also really loved Giant Peach!" You swiftly turned your head back ahead before walking out, Ben sighing and rushing after you.

"Wait! I'm only kidding!"

"Yeah, yeah, you think I only listen to pop and anything thats' super upbeat and bubblegummy...I'll have you know one of my favorite bands is super emo!" You turned around as you had lifted up a finger.

"One of your favorite?" Ben stopped as he crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, the _only_ band I know...anyway, that doesn't matter!" You shook your head. "This band is like, insanely unknown so I have to listen to them on soundcloud and, honestly, I don't even know how they look...I just know their name and music and that's about it. But they're really good, okay! Even if they're undergound."

Nodding his head, Ben then moved his arms to cross them behind his head, "And who might they be?"

Tilting your chin up, you crossed your arms, too. "You probably wouldn't know them."

"Well, if you tell me who they are, then maybe I will..."

Looking back over at him, you let out a small breath. "Knights of Ren."

Gulping, Ben fell frozen as his heart stopped. "Y-You...Knights of...Knights of Ren?" Awkwardly laughing as he rubbed the back of his neck, Ben shrugged. "Never heard of them."

"Hah!" You pointed a finger again up to him, "I knew you wouldn't!"

"Y-yeah..." He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat as if his heart had lodged up there.

"You should listen to them, I think you'd like them."

Seeing you shrug as you turned around and continued walking, Ben let out a deep breath as if he had been holding it the whole time, following after you. "I'm sure I would..."

. . .

"I honestly don't know why I used my free science class to be AP chemistry." You sighed. "I only really did it because that's the only class Hux and I would have together..."

Furrowing his eyebrows as Ben watched you flip through your notes, the two of you were now sitting in his bedroom, you on his bed as he sat on a rolling chair in front of you. "You must be a great girlfriend then to do that and not take something you'd like instead."

"It's fine." You swatted a hand. "I mean...there's nothing else I'd take, plus, I have you in the class." Feeling his heart flutter, you only looked up at Ben and smiled.

"Yeah..." He nodded, looking down at his notebook with a small smile.

"I just wish you sat closer..." You bit on your pen as you didn't even dare look up at him when you said that, already nervous as it is to be alone with him in his room. "But, at least we have history together and you sit behind me!"

Feeling his smile grow, Ben nodded as he sat up. "Yeah, which is great, seeing as we're the only two."

"Totally! I mean, nothing wrong with having the gang with us...but, it's nice to have one on one best friend time..." You nervously looked up as Ben had the biggest grin on his face, causing you to gulp.

"Definitely." Hearing Ben's door creak open the slightest, you looked up as Ben had done the same, looking over and sighing. "You wanted to meet the little devil, didn't you?"

Leaning forward as you watched the cat slowly approach Ben's bed, you gasped the slightest. "He's absolutely beautiful!"

"He's the _devil_." Ben glared as he eyed the cat.

Rolling your eyes, you reached your arms out, only to see the black cat hop onto Ben's bed and casually sit on your legs. "I knew he'd like me!" You smiled, petting him as Ben gawked.

"What the hell, Kylo?!" 

Narrowing your eyebrows, you looked over at Ben. "You named your cat Kylo? Wh-what is a Kylo?"

"It's a name I made up as a kid, big imagination, it's a long story..." Ben waved his hand dismissively. "But that isn't what's important, what's important is that Kylo actually likes someone!"

"Well, he's got good taste," You smirked as you looked back down at the cat.

"You don't say..." Ben mumbled as you looked up, unsure of what he had just said.

"Huh?"

Feeling his cheeks flourish with heat, he quickly looked down at his notebook. "Oh, nothing..."

Spending the rest of your time teaching Ben and reviewing what you had learned and what he had missed in Chemistry and History, the two of you found yourselves sitting in silence as you worked on your homework. Even though it was complete silence, it was a comfortable one, something that didn't make you fell out of place or uneasy. As much as you preferred to be conversing with him, over anything that he was enthusiastic about, being surrounded by the sound of a pen scribbling against paper and the ambience the two of you exerted was all you could ask for--as long as you were with him.

Looking up from his notebook as Ben saw you kicking your legs back and forth, lying on your stomach as you read while Kylo had fallen asleep on your back, he couldn't help but smile. You had changed so much in those four years he was gone; Ben couldn't get over your beauty and how he thought it was impossible for someone to get even _more_ beautiful. The one thing he hated from your change--your boyfriend.

Gulping, Ben took in a deep breath before speaking up. "Hey, uh..." Seeing you look up, Ben awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "I was a little bored from homework and took a break and did some research on that band you mentioned-"

"Knights of Ren?" You questioned as he nodded.

"Yeah, them...so, I found out that they're doing a show-"

"Really?!" You exclaimed as you sat up, Kylo instantly jumping off and sitting next to you as you saw Ben smile the slightest as he nodded again.

"It's tomorrow, actually, and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go together? I mean, since you insisted I listen to them." Eagerly nodding your head, Ben chuckled. "One problem, I won't be able to take you-"

"No worries! I'll take the bus if anything! Just let me know the details." You grinned as Ben looked down at his phone.

"I'll send you the link."

"You know, it would be really nice if you said-" Cutting herself off, you looked over to see Rey standing in the doorway. "What are you doing here? Ben, you could have told me y/n was here!" Rey exclaimed, walking over to you. "C'mon, let's hang in my room."

Seeing his sister about to grab your hand, Ben stood up, "Whoa, hey, _we're_ hanging out." 

Narrowing her eyebrows, Rey looked at you. "You guys are hanging out?"

Nodding your head, you hummed, "Mhm."

Arching an eyebrow, Rey placed a hand on her hip."Why?"

"Why not?" Ben crossed his arms.

"Are you seriously trying to steal my best friend, Ben?" Rey then crossed her arms as she turned to face her brother.

"She's _my_ best friend as well, remember?" He tilted his head the slightest as you sighed.

"As much as it's funny to see you two fighting over me, it's already half past seven and I should go home for dinner." You spoke up, packing your things as Rey grunted.

"Look what you did, Ben-"

"Me?! We were fine before you barged in! Since when were you here? The house was empty-"

"I just got here, but mom and dad have been here for an hour and you have yet to say hi to them." Rey arched an eyebrow as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I'll say hi to them when I leave to take y/n home, you need a ride, right?" Ben snapped his head over at you as your breath got stuck in your throat, shocked at how aggressive he had become. 

Pulling your bag over your shoulder, you spoke up. "Uh, yeah, but I can-" Walking over to you and grabbing your hand, Ben tugged you out of his room. "B-bye, Rey!" You waved, Ben pulling you across the hall and down the stairs.

"Hello!" He haphazardly waved at his parents as you two passed by them.

"Ben?" Leia called out, "Y/n?"

"H-hello, mister and misses Solo!" You smiled and waved, the two watching with confused looks as Ben dragged you with him.

Unlocking his car and opening the passengers seat door, you climbed in only to have Ben shut the door behind you as he made his way around to the drivers seat. Sitting there with wide eyes, you were the slightest of flustered at the sight of how feisty Ben was, fighting over you. "Are you alright?" You asked him as he sat down, hands on the wheel as he took in a deep breath and nodded, backing out of the driveway and heading off.

For the whole ride, the two of you sat quietly, only hearing the music playing from his cassette as it echoed within the car. "What's this song?" You broke the silence, curiosity taking over you.

"Ribs." Nodding your head, you pulled out your phone to search it, only for Ben to continue on, "By Lorde."

"Thank you." You slightly smiled as you two continue to sit in silence until he arrived at your place.

Parking his car, Ben turned to look at you, "I'm sorry...for being rude."

"Oh, oh it's fine!" You smiled as you looked at him.

Taking in a deep breath, he looked down in shame. "It's just, I haven't been able to hang with you for so long and I really wanted to just be with you but Rey came in and, unlike her, I wasn't able to be around you for four years and see you grow into the person you are today..." Sighing, he rubbed his face before leaning his head against the headrest. "I can't believe how jealous I sound..."

"It's-it's okay!" You nodded, turning your whole body to face him. "I understand where you're coming from, I mean, I'd be the same way...plus, I'm sure Rey will eventually understand what sharing is!" You joked as Ben chuckled, causing you to smile. "Thank you for the ride, I'll see you tomorrow." Leaning over to kiss his cheek, Ben felt them instantly heat up as he watched you get out of the car. 

One second, he was insanely irritated by his sisters actions, then the next, he was melting in his seat by your simple kiss on the cheek. His heart was pounding and his cheeks were hurting from the smiling he had been doing, he was glad you hadn't turned around, because if you had, he was sure you would've been creeped out. He just wished he could feel your lips against his once again. "Maybe some day..."


	6. Too Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Too Good by Drake Ft. Rihanna

"A concert?" Sitting on the bar stool as your mother worked around the kitchen, you nodded. "How much?" Stopping in her tracks to look at you, you shook your head.

"Absolutely free! There's no fee since they're not like a profiting band, they just do small gigs." You smiled, in hopes she'd say yes.

"A band? Is this that band you listen to on repeat? The only rock band out of all your music?" Slumping your shoulders, you slowly nodded. "What was it again? Knights of...Knights of..."

"Knights of Ren, mom, Knights of Ren." Sighing, your mom shrugged.

"Whatever, them. So, Ben is going with you?" Going back to cleaning up the kitchen, your mom had her back facing you as she smirked.

"Yeah, well, we're meeting up. I was going to take the bus if anything..." You trailed on as you messed around with the cuff of your sleeve.

Turning back around, your mom swatted a hand. "I can take you, just let me know if you'd need a ride back," She smiled; the second you said Ben was going with you, she was all for it, but didn't want to be too obvious to the fact that she favored Ben (over Hux any day).

"Alright, perfect!" Hopping off the chair, you went to kiss her cheek. "Thank you!" Making your way over to the stairs, you stopped mid-way. "Oh, by the way...it's being held in Creature Cantina." Before she could even scold you, you rushed up the steps, stifling a laugh.

"Y/n! You know how I-...never mind, as long as Ben keeps you safe." She mumbled to herself as you were already long gone, up in your room, quietly cheering to yourself--you definitely won't be able to sleep.

Humming along to one of their songs as you undressed yourself, you took a quick shower only to find yourself shrieking in excitement, the thought of going to your favorite band's 'concert' with your best friend--whom you hadn't seen in _four_ years--made you insanely happy. "YAY!"

Pacing back and forth in his room as he loosened up his tie, sliding it off and tossing it into his hamper, Ben unbuttoned the first few buttons of his dress shirt. "Holy fuck..." Taking in a deep breath, he pushed his hand through his hair. "Fuck fuck fuck!"

"Can you shut up?" Rey peaked her head into his room, only for Ben to shove his hand against her face and push her out.

"Leave me alone, Rey." Pressing his back up against his door, he leaned his head back, sighing. He wasn't sure what was worse--the fact that he invited you to his _own_ concert or the fact that you eventually were most likely going to tell him off for lying.

Pushing himself off the door, he trudged to his bed and rubbed his face, haphazardly tossing himself back as he lied his back against the mattress. "I'm screwed."

. . .

"I couldn't sleep last night, I thought I'd let you know," You spoke into the phone, "I was a little too eager and pumped for tonight...I mean, I think I only slept a good three hours." Chuckling as you had walked in and out of your closet, trying to find a good outfit, Ben smiled from his end of the line.

_"Well, as much as I would like to scold you for not sleeping enough hours, I--too--was a bit...anxious. I mean, only because I haven't been to a concert before so I don't really know what to expect-"_

"You've never been to a concert before, yet, you listen to all those bands?" You arched an eyebrow.

 _"No, no, that's not what I meant..."_ Sighing, Ben gulped, _"I mean, I've never gone with like...anyone who isn't Rey or my parents, or maybe a few guy friends-"_

"Basically a girl." You arched a brow.

 _"Basically a girl..."_ Ben nodded as you smiled.

"Well, I'm sure it'll be the greatest experience seeing as I get a bit too enthusiastic for these kinds of things...plus, I really love KOR, so you'll get a side of me you've never seen before." Eyeing the multiple outfits lied out on your bed, Jupiter quietly walked into your room and hopped on to your bed, casually lying on one of the outfits. "Also, I don't know about you, but my cat is very useful." Picking up all the other outfits and putting them away, you decided to go with the one Jupiter had sat on.

 _"I still can not believe how much Kylo loved you..."_ Lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling, he heard light movement coming from somewhere in his room, only to turn his head to a side to see Kylo chewing on one of Ben's shoes. _"He is literally the biggest jerk, he's chewing on my shoe right now."_ Grabbing one of his pillows, he tossed it at the cat, only to see him dart out. _"No respect, I tell you."_

Laughing, you went to move Jupiter to a side in order to get the clothing, seeing her curl back into a ball on your bed as if it was nothing. "Our cats are two ends of the spectrum, Jupiter is a complete sweetheart--a bit lazy--but she's great."

 _"Lucky you,"_ Ben rolled his eyes, regretting he ever got the cat. _"Well, I should start getting ready, I'll see you there."_ Sitting up from his bed as he felt his phone buzz continuously from his bandmates, Ben didn't want to hang up just yet, but he had to get ready for the show.

"See you there," You bit your lip, hanging up the phone and tossing it on your bed as you picked up a pillow and screamed into it. This was probably _the_ most exciting thing that has ever happened in the last four years...aside from winning competitions with your cheer squad or when your twin brothers moved out for college. "Speaking of brothers..." Walking over to your desk, you grabbed your laptop and sat it on your bed, turning it on as you went to change.

Absolutely no one knew about what you felt towards Ben, no one knew about why you truly were upset about his departure and absolutely _no one_ knew about your first kiss with him...of course, except for your brothers--they knew _everything_. Unlike everyone else, they completely ignored the fact that you were, indeed, dating hux and--instead--focused solely on Ben. They just preferred him over Hux any day (just like their mother).

Logging onto skype and video calling the two, you came in and out as you had done your make up and fixed your hair. _"Well, if it isn't y/n..."_

"Hey, dweebs." You walked past your laptop as you went for your shoes.

 _"Any 411?"_ Jay asked as he shoved Ty to a side.

Popping your head into the camera, you arched a brow. "Seriously?"

 _"Yes, seriously!"_ Ty exclaimed.

"Aside from him being back and the two of us getting closer again-"

 _"And him having classes with you, saying history is his favorite because of the view, also the whole you crying on him and telling him off, and the whole him being annoyed with Rey trying to take you away...yes, aside from that."_ Jay waved his hand for you to speak up.

"Okay, well, we are going to that concert today..." You bit your inner lip as you felt butterflies in your stomach.

 _"That's right! And it's just you two?"_ Ty asked as you proceeded to nod. _"I'm telling you, she needs to dump that arm dude already..."_ He spoke to Jay.

 _"Arm dude?"_ Jay furrowed his eyebrows.

_"Yeah, arm...arm...something gate?"_

_"No, no, I think it's Eremitage."_

_"No, I don't-"_

"Armitage, its Armitage you guys." You chuckled while shaking your head, putting a baseball cap on as you plopped on your bed, Jupiter sitting up and moving closer to you.

 _"Oh, right...him."_ Ty flared his nostrils--the two weren't fond of Hux.

 _"Jupiter!"_ Jay shrieked. _"Aw, I miss her..."_

"I'm sure she does _not_ miss you two." You snickered as you pet her.

 _"Harsh, very harsh little sister."_ Rolling your eyes at Jay, you sat back and continued on talking to them, completely switching the subject as you didn't want to talk too much about Ben.

 _"And that's how Jay and I almost got kicked out of the university."_ Shaking your head as you slammed your palm against your forehead, you sighed.

"Unreal...you two are unbelievable...how are you guys my brothers?!" Narrowing your eyes, the two snickered.

 _"Someone had to be the semi-normal one in the family, y/n...even though it took you years to become that."_ Jay pointed out.

"Shut up, I was a very lazy and adventurous child, I have calmed down a bit-"

_"Now she just crushes on her best friends brother who she considers to be her best friend as well even though she's taken-"_

"Shut up, Ty!" You groaned. "I'm hanging up."

 _"No, don't-"_ Ending the call, you looked at the time to see you had to go.

"Right on time." Shutting your laptop, you grabbed your bag and looked in the mirror to make sure you looked fine.

"Y/n, let's go!" Your mother called out.

"I'm coming!" Feeling the anticipation kicking in, you texted Ben, telling him you were on your way.

"This better not last all night, you know how I feel about Creature Cantina..." Your mother pointed a finger as you swatted your hand.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'll be there for like two hours tops...it's a small gig, it won't be long." Walking towards the front door as your mother followed you, she arched an eyebrow.

"Better not be."

. . .

"You let me know if you need a ride home, okay?" Your mom called out as you had gotten out of the car.

"Will do!" You waved, walking off. The entire ride there you had continuously checked your phone, not receiving a single message from Ben. "Come on, where are you?" Deciding to call him, it went straight to voicemail. "No way..." Grunting, you walked into the cluttered bar, not seeing a single sign of a really tall young man that you could easily point out in a crowd.

Texting him and calling him once more as you didn't want to seem like a nuisance, there was no response nor did he pick up the phone. Feeling a bit anxious, you frowned as the lights began to dim, feeling completely stood up.

"I can't believe this, he stood me up..." You muttered to yourself as you pouted, standing towards the back and already wanting to go back home.

Just about to walk out and aim for the bus stop (as you felt bad for having to call your mom to come right back), you stopped in your tracks as you heard an oh _too_ familiar voice speak up into the microphone as it echoed throughout the bar. "Thanks for coming tonight, it means a lot to know that people enjoy our music. For those of you that don't know, we're Knights of Ren."

Hearing the music start, your head slowly turned to the stage as you blinked, suddenly feeling your heart sink to the pit of your stomach as butterflies swarmed it-- _Ben?_

Growing wide eyed as you instantly gasped, you couldn't help but gawk as you watched Ben perform on the stage; he was in the band? Better yet, he was the lead singer and he didn't bother to tell you? Rather, just lie and say he had never heard of Knights of Ren? "Oh my god..."

Gulping, the two of you suddenly made eye contact, causing you to become even more nervous as Ben smiled over at you. All along, your best friend was the lead singer of the _one_ band you loved to death, yet, you didn't know. You couldn't help but feel embarrassed as you had freaked out to him about your love for _his_ band.

Had he found it to be weird? It couldn't be, seeing as he had invited you to his _own_ concert. Maybe he just wanted to surprise you, seeing as that's exactly what you are. Whatever it may be, the entire performance you had found yourself running over and over the thought that Ben Solo--your second best friend--was the lead singer (and guitarist) of your favorite band.

Aside from that, you couldn't help but enjoy the music much more live than recorded, especially when it was Ben singing and not some unknown man you hadn't bothered to even look up. But, now that you knew who it was, your heart ached with the sound of the music, his voice echoing throughout your mind as your body wanted to just melt then and there. You weren't sure what it was or how the music--let alone, his voice--made you feel such way, but you were enjoying it.

It was just _that_ good.

And maybe since you knew this man pretty well, it all made it worth while.

"Thank you, again! And thank you Creature Cantina for having us." Bowing his head, Ben eyed you and smirked the slightest before walking off stage as you stood there, frozen in awe.

Letting out a breath as you tried easing your throbbing heart, a hand suddenly grabbed onto your own, dragging you off. Just about to snatch your hand from whoever it was rudely pulling you away, you suddenly recognized the back of their head as you gulped. _Ben_.

Swiftly moving through the crowd as Ben held onto your hand, tightly, he tugged you over to the back room. Pushing the door open, he pulled you in as he shut it behind him, you instantly letting go of his hand and smacking his arm. "You jerk!" You pointed a finger as Ben has gasped, holding his arm.

"What was that for?!" Rubbing his arm, he tried his best not to laugh.

"You know exactly why! I-I can't believe that you're in a band! You're in _the_ band!" Tugging at your hair, you grunted, "Ugh! I feel like such an idiot freaking out to you when all along you were in it!"

Shrugging, Ben swatted a hand as he smiled, placing his hands on his hips. "It's fine, pretty awesome to see your best friend in shock when she finds out you're in her favorite band-"

"You're the damn lead singer! Lead singer, Ben! And-and you can play the guitar!" You exclaimed, your mind wanting to explode. "I can not believe this..."

"I am a good liar, you've gotta admit..." Tilting your head as you gave him a look, he chuckled. "What? I think it's the greatest surprise you've ever experienced."

Sighing, you shrugged the slightest. "Maybe..."

Taking a step forward, he cupped your cheeks as you frowned. "Admit it...I am the absolute greatest..." Rolling your eyes as he smiled, you shook your head.

"No way, if anything, you're the absolute worst!" You shoved his hands off as he snickered.

"Whatever, you're just in denial." Crossing his arms as he scoffed, you glared at him only to hear muttering.

"You didn't tell us you'd bring in a groupie!" Looking over, you narrowed your eyebrows at the boy walking in your direction alongside another.

"She's not a groupie, Jesse." Ben rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me, who are they?" You spoke up as Jesse gasped.

"We are part of Knights of Ren! I'm Jesse and this one over here," Wrapping his arm around his friend as he patted his chest, Jesse smirked, "He's Sam."

"Oh...oh!" Growing wide eyed, Ben shook his head. "Bassist and drummer!" You stated as the two nodded with a small laugh.

"And who must you be?" Jesse asked as he grabbed your hand to kiss the back of it as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I think she's Ben's girlfriend, who he never told us about." Sam glared.

"Oh, no no..." Ben shook his head as you slowly took your hand back, smiling at Jesse. "She's not my girlfriend, she isn't even my type." Feeling your smile instantly drop, your heart sunk.

"Damn, didn't know you even _had_ a type." Sam arched an eyebrow. "I mean, you've only ever dated that Daniella girl..."

 _Dated?_ Clenching your jaw as you felt offended and the slightest of hurt, you cleared your throat. "I have to head home, I told my mom I wouldn't be here for more than two hours." You nodded as Ben looked over at you, shifting from harshly glaring at Sam to then frowning over at you.

"You still have time? Don't you?" Ben asked with a small smile as you completely avoided eye contact, shaking your head.

"I think the show was enough as it is...plus, my brothers are coming to visit tomorrow and I have to get up early for that." You lied.

"I can give you a ride home?" Ben offered as you bit your tongue.

"I'll take the bus, actually, it's a better ride." You nodded, causing Ben to scrunch up his eyebrows. "It was nice to meet you two!" You lightly smiled and waved at Jesse and Sam (not even bothering to say goodbye to Ben) before turning around and exiting the room, storming out of the place as you didn't want to look at Ben any longer.

It shouldn't have bugged you as much as it was, you shouldn't have felt hurt when he said you weren't his type and you definitely shouldn't have felt the slightest of jealous when they had mentioned Ben's ex-girlfriend; yet, here you were, a ticking time bomb.

The night was going so well and you were more than excited--and the slightest of turned on--knowing your best friend was in a band. But, instead, you found yourself wiping away the small tears that escaped as you rushed out of the bar and over to the bus stop--you hadn't felt so embarrassed in the longest. If you weren't Ben's type, then why did he bother to act such way towards you? Did he just say it to say it? Or were you not 'emo' enough for him with all your pastels and pale colors; the variety of color in your wardrobe rather than simple black and dark grey being too much of a contrast.

Whatever it may be, it ignited something within you, but at the moment, you were _fuming_.

"What was that shit about?" Jesse took a step forward as Ben rubbed his face. "Not your type? That's a load of crap! Isn't she-"

"It doesn't matter, Jesse..." Ben sighed, moving over to sit on the backrooms couch, "She has a boyfriend."

"You still didn't have to say that she wasn't your type, dude, even if she doesn't like you, that's harsh!" Jesse exclaimed as Ben groaned, leaning his head back.

"Just leave it." Sam spoke up.

"Look, it doesn't matter, she's taken and only sees me as her best friend...why would it be harsh?" Ben lifted his head up as Jesse tilted his own.

"Are...are you serious? Am-am I the only one who saw her reaction?" Jesse looked at Sam as Sam shook his head. "You saw that, right? That her mood dropped? She was smiling and the second you said that, she frowned." Jesse crossed his arms. "Like I said, even if she doesn't like you, it was harsh."

Rubbing his face once again as Ben threw his head back, he took in a deep breath and stared at the ceiling-- _what a dick move_.

"Hey, mom?" Speaking into your phone as you took a seat on the bus, you leaned your head against the window, "I'm headed back home...the gig was pretty short and it was great, I'm just really tired and want to go to bed...I'll see you soon." Hanging up, you looked at the screen only to see Ben's name pop up.

Ignoring the text messages, you sighed as you slid your phone into your purse. You just needed time, although you had four years away from him, maybe you were just meant to be far away from him. _Impossible..._

As much as you wanted to convince yourself that you shouldn't be worked up and that you were 'better than that', it was bothering you more than it should. "Ugh..." Sinking into the chair as you groaned, you rubbed your face, in hopes somehow you could evaporate. "This is absolutely pointless..."

. . .

"I expected you to be gone longer, I honestly thought you were calling to say that you were going to stay a little longer..." Your mom popped out from behind the wall of the kitchen as you walked in, shutting the door behind you and taking in a quiet breath.

"Huh?" Turning around, you shook your head, "Oh, no...I'm just really tired, I barely slept last night." Nodding your head as you walked past her, your mom narrowed her eyebrows, knowing very well that something was off.

"What about Ben?"

"What about him?" You asked, climbing up the stairs.

"Did you see him?" Holding onto the railing as she looked up at you, you nodded.

"Yeah...apparently he's in the band, little did I know." Raising her eyebrows as she watched you walk down the hallway, she lightly gasped.

"That's amazing! Your best friend is in your favorite band!" She exclaimed as you rolled your eyes, opening your bedroom door.

"I guess..." Walking in and shutting the door behind you, you tossed your purse onto your dresser as you plopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as you lied your hands on your stomach. "I have Hux, and he's all that matters..." You muttered to yourself. "Hux would never leave me for four years straight without trying to communicate."

Sighing, you groaned in annoyance as that wasn't helping you either. Sitting up, you got up to get your phone, unlocking it to seeing the messages from ben.

**_I hope you enjoyed the show_ **

**_Sorry we couldn't hangout much_ **

**_Please get home safe_ **

**_Let me know when you get home, please_ **

**_I'm assuming you got home, or at least I hope, again...I'm sorry we couldn't hangout much_ **

**_You must be asleep then...I'll stop bugging you_ **

**_Goodnight_ **

Taking in a deep breath, you bit your bottom lip, finger hovering over the keyboard. **_Goodnight_**. About to press send, you deleted the message and closed the app, calling Hux in hopes he'd answer.

 _"Y/n? Hello..."_ Smiling, you lied back on your bed.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

_"No, I was about to go to bed...everything alright?"_

"I just wanted to call to hear from you, hope your day went well." Messing with your hair as you covered your face with it, your mind was bugging you about Ben. "Anyway, I'll talk to you later, love you."

Hearing him take in a deep breath, you rolled on your stomach. _"I love you, too...goodnight."_

"Night, Armi." Hanging up with a small smile, you placed your phone on your nightstand, standing up to change into your pajamas.

The entire time you had been changing, your mind pondered over bens words. It didn't seem truthful, at least to you. _You're just in denial_. But then again, the Ben you knew now was different from the Ben you knew then; for all you knew, he was telling the truth and you were just as doubtful as ever. _How childish, maybe it's about time I change._

Shutting off your room lights as you went under the covers of your bed, you grabbed your phone, unlocking it and opening Ben's messages.

**_Goodnight_ **

Hitting send, you let out a small breath before placing your phone back down, pulling the covers up as your lack of sleep eventually caught up with you, instantly knocking out.

"Hey, honey, how was your show?" Leia asked as Ben walked in, shoulders slumped.

"Fine." He simply stated as her eyebrows narrowed the slightest.

"Are you alright?" Walking up to Ben and grabbing his arm, he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He lied.

"Did y/n meet up with you after? What did she think?" Leia smiled.

"Yeah! She was shocked, to say the least..." He lightly smiled as he nodded. "I'm exhausted, I'm gonna head to bed." Sliding his arm from his mothers hold as he kissed the top of her head, he walked off, up the staircase.

"Sleep well, honey." She smiled up at Ben as he simply waved, only to feel his phone buzz.

Opening it up and seeing your name, his heart skipped a beat:

**_Goodnight_ **

Smiling as he let out a sigh, he walked into his room, feeling the slightest of relieved. "At least she isn't mad at me."


	7. Somebody Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Somebody Else by The 1975

It had been over a whole day, almost thirty hours to be exact, since you had last spoken to Ben. The entire day of Sunday was spent busying yourself with things you really didn't need to do--spending hours cleaning your room, going over your homework twice, going for a morning and afternoon jog, and many other things your mom couldn't seem to understand. You just had no desire to think about Ben whatsoever, even if small things had reminded you of him.

"Thirty hours, Poe, it's been over thirty hours since she last spoke to me..." Ben walked alongside Poe, "And even in chemistry she didn't bother to say hi to me! She was all over Hux! You should've seen it, it was _disgusting_." He threw his hands up.

"I-...thirty? Did you really keep track?" Poe stopped as Ben grunted.

"It-it doesn't matter! What matters is that she was extra affectionate towards Hux, she wasn't like this, not once last week! She would be wrapping her arm around his, lying her hand on his thigh, kissing his cheek, smiling, laughing! Why is she even laughing?! Hux isn't funny at all! He's a dried up, Englishman with no funny bone!" Ben breathed as he felt his face heat up.

"Did you do something wrong?" Poe asked as he continued to walk on, Ben standing there and instantly feeling guilty as he remembered what he said back at the bar.

"No..."

"Liar!" Poe pointed a finger as he instantly turned around. "What did you say, Ben?"

"I-...uh..." Unable to speak, Poe glared. "I said she wasn't my type, alright!"

"WHAT?!" Poe shouted, causing the people surrounding the two to quiet down. "Mind your business, people!" He swatted a hand as they all continued on. "Why on Earth would you say that, you dumbass?!"

"I-I...I am not a dumbass! Okay?! I wasn't thinking straight and the first thing that came to mind-"

"Was to say she wasn't your type? How stupid can you be?! Honestly, this is the girl of your _dreams_ , she is legit everything you've ever wanted! If you could google 'what's Ben Solo's type?' it would fuckin' say her name as the answer!" Tugging at his curls, Poe growled. "Ah, damnit, Ben!"

"Look, I'm sorry!"

"Don't apologize to me, idiot, apologize to her!" Poe pointed a hand.

"I have her now for history, if anything, I'll do it then." Ben nodded as Poe glared.

"You better or I swear..."

And as history had began, Bens hopes grew weaker and weaker with every chance he got to apologize, only to be interrupted. It started off with someone else sitting in your seat (which you purposely told them to as you said you needed to speak with one of the cheerleaders that sat nearby), then it lead to the teacher telling you to move back which gave Ben an opportunity; but it was clear you were in no mood to talk. Every time he went to tap your shoulder, or every time you went to hand something back, you came up with an excuse as to why you couldn't speak to him.

"For fucks sake." Ben muttered as he sunk into his spot, tugging at his hair in frustration. Ripping out a piece of paper and writing on it, he was instantly interrupted as the teacher called his name.

"Ben Solo."

"Yes, sir?" He looked up.

"You will be partnered with y/n for this mini project." Growing wide eyed as he nodded his head, eagerly, you only felt your heart sink as you slumped your shoulders in disappointment--this was exactly what you tried avoiding in the first place when you had switched seats.

"Alright," He lightly smiled as you gritted your teeth. "Hey, for the project-"

Standing up as the bell had rung, you looked at Ben, "We can discuss this later." Walking off, he sat there, blinking. Were you really _that_ worked up?

. . .

"It's later!" Ben called out from down the hall, you completely ditching study hall. "We need to decide where we're going to do this mini project..." Walking over to you as you had stopped midway in your tracks, you turned around.

"I have cheer practice after school-"

"I can wait and take you with me over to my place?"

"Yeah, whatever, sure." Turning back around as you rushed off, Ben narrowed his eyebrows.

It was enough that you ignored him all day Sunday, and today, now this? He only felt himself grow irritated with how rude you were being towards him. So what if he said you weren't his type? You shouldn't be so hurt when you clearly had a boyfriend!

Heading over to the bleachers as he was going to have to wait for you, he spent his whole time watching you practice as he sat there, seething. Now he was just more upset in you than himself; sure, if he had said something far more harsh, then he would've gone out of his way to apologize...but, by the way you were acting, he felt as if you didn't need an apology, rather, he did.

And you knew very well Ben was watching you, you could feel his eyes burning into your back with every movement you made and it was making you sick. You were just annoyed, so very vexed in this man and his attitude, and you wanted nothing from him--or at least your jealousy was speaking for you. But why were you so jealous?

Oh, that's right, because you weren't his type but his first ever girlfriend--who you never knew about--was.

You were just so bitter and everyone in the cheer squad could tell something was bothering you. "Y/n?" The coach called out.

"Yes?" You peeked your head up.

"Are you feeling alright? You seem a bit off and that isn't very like you, you always put all your effort into your routines..."

"I'm fine, it's nothing!" You swatted your hand with a smile.

"I think you should take a break, or head home early-"

"No, no! It's fine! I'm a flyer and-"

"It's alright, we can always rehearse tomorrow with you," She nodded as you sighed. "I want your best, alright? So head home and come back tomorrow with all you've got."

"Alright..." You sighed, walking over to grab your things. "See you later." Getting a group of waves back, you walked off, Ben noticing this and instantly climbing down the bleachers. aiming straight for you.

"I think we should get going to get this project started seeing that it's half past four and it's due Wednesday." Ben popped up, lightly startling you.

"Jeez, give me a heart attack, will you?" You held onto your chest as Ben shifted his jaw.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you? I'm surprised you even noticed me!" Walking ahead of you as you furrowed your eyebrows and tightened your fists, you rushed on past him, aiming for his car.

"Do you even know where I parked?!" Ben called out as you found yourself speed walking to it, turning around to face him as you pointed at the clunker. 

"Yes, Ben, your car is the only piece of junk in this entire parking lot!"

"The Millennium Falcon is _not_ a piece of junk, how dare you!" He stormed over as you scrunched up your nose.

"Millennium Falcon? Who the hell calls their car that?!" You spat as Ben shoved you aside to unlock the car door.

"My father, that's who!"

Rolling your eyes, you shoved him out of your way to get into the passenger seat. "Your father is a good looking man with poor taste in naming," Eyeing Ben up and down, you then arched an eyebrow, " _Clearly_." Shutting the door as Ben stood there, gasping, he trudged over to the drivers seat, getting in as you sat there and looked out the passenger window stubbornly.

"My father is not a good looking man and my name is perfectly fine, _Kenobi_." Ben snapped as he looked at you before backing his car out, you crossing your arms and rolling your eyes as you felt like a complete brat--though, in your defense--Ben deserved this attitude from you.

"Well, if your father isn't a good looking man then you must be flat out hideous!" You fired back as Ben narrowed his eyes, lightly growling as he sped home. "And you have an old man name who lives alone in the middle of nowhere tending to his crops!" You huffed, turning your head away before muttering, " _Solo_."

Gasping, Ben snapped his head over at you. "May I remind you that that old man you're insulting is your grandfather!" Growing wide eyed as you shot a look at him, Ben nodded. "Yeah, apparently your beloved grandfather was a great friend to my uncle and my parents and that's why I'm named after said old man!"

"That is not true! My grandfathers name is Obi, not Ben!" You shrieked as Ben rolled his eyes.

"You're so oblivious."

"I am not! His name is Obi Wan Kenobi-"

"AKA Ben Kenobi!" He shouted back as your shoulders slumped.

"...No-"

"Don't even deny it, you tried your hardest to insult me, only to have it backfire as you insulted your grandad." Letting out a huff, Ben shook his head. "You're not even good at arguing."

Smacking his thigh, you crossed your arms once again as Ben whined. "And you're not even good at being a big guy, weak."

"I am not weak!" Ben retorted as you rolled your eyes.

"Then why did you wince, you baby?!" You shouted as you looked at him.

"Because that was so uncalled for!" He shrieked as you groaned.

"You are so weak and annoying, my gosh!" 

Finally arriving to Ben's place, you rushed out of the car and over to the door.

"Genius, how are you supposed to get in when the door is locked?!" Ben called out as you clenched your jaw, waiting there impatiently as Ben walked over.

Glaring at him as he unlocked the door, you shoved past him and went up the stairs. "Hurry up, genius!"

Taking in a deep breath as he shut the door behind him, he rushed over and up the steps. "You don't just walk in someone's house-"

"Get over it, I've been here plenty of times and I know your parents wouldn't care!" Shoving his door open, you plopped on his bed, crossing your legs and tapping your foot.

"You're such a real pain in the-" Walking in as he saw you glaring, he let out a harsh sigh, "Forget it." Closing his bedroom door, he slammed his binder on the spot next to you, "I did all the research we needed during study hall--you know, the period you missed?" Glaring at him, you sighed. "All we need to do is put it together, and guess what you get to do?" He faked a smile as you shifted your jaw.

"What, Benjamin?" You growled as Ben walked over to his desk, only to come back with scissors.

"You get to cut it all out!" He nodded as you snatched the scissors, grabbing his binder and shoving past him as you sat on the floor. "Make sure you cut it right-"

"I am not a five year old, you ass!" Opening up the binder and pulling out the papers, Ben only rolled his eyes.

This was all a flat out mess and you were going to have to deal with each other for the next two hours; and for those two hours, the two of you sat in silence as you could easily feel the tension between you two. It was so thick that it was suffocating you and you only found yourself becoming more and more irritated with how quiet it was between you two.

Sure, you ignored Ben all day Sunday and technically during school, but you did it because what he said was harsh--even if you didn't like him, it was still inappropriate. You just hated how Ben was acting like nothing happened and as if you totally didn't seem pissed off or hurt the second he said you weren't his type. Why was he so damn oblivious and why were you caring so much?

"I'm done." Letting the scissors fall from your grip as they collided with the ground, you stood up and shoved the papers in front of Ben's face, seeing him grab them as you went to grab your bags. "If you need me to do anymore baby work, like glue them onto a board, I can do it tomorrow during study hall." You faked a smile before walking out. "If not, then don't bother me." Sitting there and gulping, Ben placed the papers down and rubbed his face as he felt like a complete jerk, hearing his front door slam shut.

Looking out the window and watching you walk up to a car, he narrowed his eyebrows, only to groan as he saw Hux walk out to greet you with a kiss. "Un-fucking-believable." Shutting the curtain and moving off the bed, Ben rubbed his forehead, only to drop his hands as he looked up at the ceiling and loudly grunted. "Fucking fucker fuck, fuck!"

Shouting at the top of his lungs as he tugged on his curls, he harshly tossed his binder across the room, its contents flying all over the place as he sat back on his bed and shoved his face into his palms. Taking heavy breaths as his heart raced, Bens eyes burned with tears as he roughly rubbed the heel of his palms against them, feeling there was no need to cry.

He was absolutely frustrated, ticked, and heartbroken altogether. What if he hadn't moved? What if he had stayed all those years he was gone? Would he be with you now? Or would you still be with Hux? " _She's always liked him since the beginning_." He thought to himself.

But that doesn't explain the first kiss and as to why you would give yours up so easily to a boy you had just met.

Groaning, Ben stood up and roughly removed his tie, unbuttoning his dress shirt as he nearly ripped it off. Removing his belt and kicking off his shoes; his body temperature was rising along with his rage, he hated the position he was in--watching the girl he adored be with somebody else.

Grabbing his phone and walking into his bathroom as he shut the door behind him, he removed the remainder of his clothing before he blasted his music, turning on the shower and allowing the cool water to drench him. Nothing was worse than seeing you kiss Hux just after you rushed out saying "don't bother me."

"Fuck me..." He muttered under his breath, resting his forehead against the tile wall of his shower as his burning tears finally slid down his cheeks and mixed with the shower water soaking him.

Trying to catch his breath as his heart ached in his chest, Ben clenched his fist and slowly pounded it against the wall, hearing the music echo out through out the bathroom only for him to whine at the particular song playing.

_C'mon baby, this ain't the last time that I'll see your face. C'mon baby, you said you've found someone to take my place-_

Instantly switching the song, Ben sighed as he turned around and leaned his backside against the wall; it almost felt like the world was out to get him.

"So, what exactly were you doing in...Ben's house?" Hux asked as you sat in the passenger seat of his car, holding his hand.

Sighing, your mood instantly dropped as you thought about Ben, "We were supposed to work on a project but he ended up doing most of it since I was busy with cheerleading practice, I helped out a little but was tired from school and practice and told him I should head home. Then I remembered that around this time you usually were heading home from your internship so I thought I'd ask and see if you could take me home..." You nodded as you looked over at Hux, seeing him smile the slightest.

"Well, seeing as I barely see my girlfriend at school, I think it's only fair enough." Smiling at him, you slowly looked away, down at your lap as you thought about how ridiculous your argument was with Ben, but it still had such a negative impact on the two of you. "Everything alright?" Hux asked as he looked over at you, taking advantage of the red light to get a good look at his girlfriends face--something he wish he saw more of. "You seem a bit-"

"Oh, oh no, I'm totally fine," You lightly chuckled as you waved your hand dismissively. "I'm just tired, you know? Monday's are a drag..." Nodding his head in agreement, Hux leaned forward to kiss your forehead, only to shift back as the light had changed.

"Don't worry, soon you'll be home in bed, resting."

Grinning over at him, you let out the slightest of sighs as you looked away. As much as Hux made your heart thud, there was always that extra feeling that you still hadn't felt for him...and it's almost been four years of you two being a thing, and deep down inside, you knew exactly why. But would you ever admit to it? Probably not.

"Thanks for the ride," You smiled at Hux as he stood there by his car, "I know how long and tiring your days are, which is why I try not bothering you with rides-"

"Oh, don't feel that way, please." Hux waved his hands. "I'm sorry if I sound like a dick whenever I say I can't give you a ride, but that doesn't mean always."

Nodding your head, you lightly smiled, "I'll take your word, then!"

"Please do."

"So then..." Scratching your head as you looked down, you bit your inner lip, "Could you maybe, possibly, give me a ride tomorrow morning?"

"Of course!" He eagerly nodded, "Although I thought Solo took you."

"Solo?" You arched an eyebrow, "Oh, you mean Ben. No, that was just last week, I feel bad so I stopped asking." You lied.

"So, who took you this morning?" Hux curiously asked.

"Oh, I went on the bus...didn't feel like waking." You nodded as Hux took a step forward and grabbed your arms.

"Don't worry, I'll take you to school tomorrow," Kissing your forehead, he then pulled you into a hug. "And, if you want, I can take you home as well and we can hang out?"

Hugging him back, you then gasped as you looked up, "Really?!" Nodding his head, you grinned, tiptoeing to kiss him. "Yes, absolutely, that sounds great!"

Chuckling, Hux let go of you, "Go get some sleep."

"Will do," You bowed before walking off.

"Y/n!" Hux called out as you turned around.

"Yeah?" You smiled as Hux stood there.

"I love you."

"Love you, too!" Waving a hand, you rushed off as Hux sighed. When had you ever included the _I_ in I love you?

Walking inside with a bright smile, your father popped up, "Who's got you smiling like that?! Did you and Ben do anything?!"

"Ugh, as if!" You rolled your eyes as your mom then walked in. "Hux dropped me off, I'm just happy to see him, that's all." Shrugging, you then walked off.

"Ah, Hux, what a good kid..." Nodding his head, your mom smacked the back of your fathers head. "Hey?! What the hell?!"

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Hux is alright, there are _better_ boys out there for her."

"As in who? Don't tell me that Benjamin boy-"

"Han and Leia's son is an excellent child, very polite and kind to our daughter-"

"So is Armitage, but he's far more better than Benjamin, _clearly_ as our daughter is dating him instead-"

"That's because Ben was gone for four years, if he hadn't, she would've been with him instead you peanut brain!" Storming off, your father stood there clueless.

"What's got her all worked up?"

Doing your usual night routine, you found yourself lying under your sheets, texting Hux 'goodnight' with a heart emoji before placing your phone down, only to hear light meowing. "Jupiter?" Sitting up as you looked around your dark room, you looked over the edge of your bed to see her sitting there, holding Benny the bunny in her mouth. "What are you doing with that?"

Hopping on the bed, she lied the bunny on your pillow before curling up next to you, you grabbing the bunny and sighing as you could vividly remember when Ben won it for you. You hated just how much he made you feel, and you absolutely hated how much you found yourself craving his attention, even if you were convinced that that was the last thing you wanted.

"Goodnight, Jupiter." Lying back down, you sighed as you stared at the Bunny, only to pull it to your chest--you'd be lying if you said sleeping with the bunny in your arms didn't help you sleep better.

. . .

Tuesday had started off so well, Hux picking you up to take you to school, only to surprise you with a bouquet of assorted flowers--although they weren't your favorite, the thought was what counted. Then, all of chemistry was spent doing group work (as in basically just you and Hux catching up whereas Ben watched disgustingly). Then it came to history, and lucky for you, the teacher was showing a movie and the whole time you were either chatting with a few friends or texting Hux--which was highly unusual of him to be texting in class.

Throughout the day you had totally forgotten about Ben, or at least acted like it, and it only made Ben furious. The second he and Poe noticed you holding flowers, he stormed off as Poe went after him. Unlike, Poe, Rey and Finn were gawking and saying how sweet it was for Hux to do such thing.

"I was so surprised, Hux never gives me flowers, nor does he text me or offer to hangout much. I don't know what it is, but I appreciate it so much!" You whispered over to Rey as she sat across from you in the library.

Then there was Ben, sitting in a pile of his own bitterness and jealousy, clutching tightly onto his textbook while trying his best to keep his focus on reading rather than listening to your conversation with Rey.

"That's so sweet of him! I can't believe all of this, how exciting!" Rey shrieked.

"He asked to hang out after school, so he's coming to practice which means he'll be watching," You smirked as Ben flared his nostrils, clenching his jaw. For the past week, Ben was always there to support you when Hux never was, and now Hux decided to step up? "Honestly, I'm just so excited that I could ditch practice just to be with him."

Slamming his book shut, Ben haphazardly stood up and gathered his things, breathing heavily as he stormed out, you watching as you gulped whereas Rey rolled her eyes. "Bens been having a bad few days, don't know why, and at this point, don't care...he's always upset about something."

Blinking and nodding as you watched him harshly shove the door open and rush out, you swallowed hard before turning back around and looking at her. "Oh...well...that sucks."

"Anyway! Back to you and Hux!" Rey nodded as you halfheartedly smiled.

"And where are you going?" Hearing the accented voice call out, Ben stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Don't think I forgot about you, Solo."

Narrowing his eyebrows as he lightly panted, Ben groaned. "What do you want, Phasma?"

Leaning against the lockers, she then stood up straight. "Hello to you, too! Four years it's been and this is what I get?" Walking up to him, she flicked his forehead as he rolled his eyes, only to see her circling him. "Told you you'd get taller."

"You grew, yourself."

"But you're taller than me." Stopping in front of him as she finished studying Ben, Phasma crossed her arms, "It's about damn time!"

"Yeah, well, apparently I've changed and I'm an asshole now. So, if you'll excuse me, I have to gag." Turning around and walking off as Phasma rolled her eyes, she followed after him.

"It's y/n, isn't it?" She curiously asked as Ben stopped in his tracks. "So you've found out she's dating Hux, huh?"

"I don't care-"

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit!" Moving to stand in front of him, Phasma lifted her hands up to prevent him from walking on. "You still like her and it's clear to me!"

"I don't! I never said I liked her?!" Ben shook his head as Phasma smirked.

"You said you don't, which means you did, which possibly means you still do..."

"I-I do not! She doesn't like me anyways, she's madly in love with Hux!" Ben exclaimed.

"You sure about that? Are you _positive_?" Phasma questioned. "Because it seems to me that you're in denial."

"I'm-" Taking a deep breath, he pushed past Phasmas arms. "I never liked her and she never liked me, end of story." Walking off, Phasma sighed. "It isn't meant to be, so just leave it."

Watching him walk into the distance, she shook her head before going in the opposite direction. "Stubborn."

"Talking to yourself, I see." Looking up as Phasma had rubbed her face, she only faked a smile.

"Hello, Hux."

"Phasma." Bowing his head, he then walked on. "By the way, I expect to see a lot of images of myself in the yearbook."

"Now, why would I do that?" Phasma turned around as she placed her hands on her hips.

Turning around, Hux smiled. "Because, you're the head editor and you have the power to, plus, I am the class president." With a wink, he turned back around and aimed for the library doors, pushing them open and leaving Phasmas sight.

"Unbelievable..." Groaning, Phasma turned back around to walk on. "Why on Earth would y/n ever like him over Ben?"

"Annnd...done!" Slamming the math textbook shut, you let out a sigh. "All my homework is done so I can give Hux my full attention." You nodded as Rey shook her head.

"What are you two planning on doing?" She questioned, looking down at her work.

"Well, we sort of discussed it this morning and decided to go to that diner--y'know, Maz's?" Seeing Rey nod, you continued on. "Then hang at my place." Waving a hand, you then gathered your things, putting them away.

"Nice, nice...when was the last time you were at Maz's?" Rey curiously asked as she had looked up for a moment.

"About...a month or two ago? Don't really remember," You shrugged, only to see Hux walking in your direction. "Any who, I've gotta go, Hux is here." You smiled at Rey, standing up and giving her a hug.

"Hello," Hux smiled over at you, leaning in to kiss your cheek as he then waved to Rey. "Rey," He bowed his head as she waved.

"Hey, Arm." Too busy in her work, she simply gave him a quick smile before going back to it.

"She's busy," You whispered over to him as he had narrowed his eyebrows, only to nod with a light 'ah'. "Let's get going, I'm thinking of skipping practice."

"Really? That isn't very much like you, y/n..." Hux pointed out as the two of you walked on.

"Eh, one time won't hurt." You winked as Hux took in a deep breath. As long as he was with you, then he was okay with it.

. . .

"Homecoming tickets will be on sale soon, we haven't announced it but I thought I'd share in advance." Hux stated as the two of you now sat at a booth in the diner.

"Already? But that's like, two months away..." You tilted your head the slightest.

"Doll, homecoming is around mid October, which is only a month and a couple of weeks away..." Hux chuckled as you rubbed your forehead. "Which is quite like two months, so-"

"Do you know the theme? There has to be a theme like every other year!" You perked up as Hux tapped his chin. "Come on! What is it?!"

"Alright, alright, it's-"

"You two ordered a strawberry milk-" Cutting himself off as he had reached the table, you only looked up to see Ben standing there, about to ask him what he was doing, only to realize he had worked there.

"Yes, we did." Hux smiled as Ben stared at you, you looking back at him only to look away in discomfort as you went to grab a pair of straws.

"Here, babe." You handed one over to Hux as Ben stare turned into a glare, jaw clenching as he nearly slammed down the milkshake and stormed off.

"That was quite rude...I don't understand why he can not be like his little sister..." Hux shook his head as he placed his straw into the cup as you did the same with your own.

"Me either..."

Spending the rest of your time chatting with Hux, you couldn't help but gaze over at Ben every time he was in your view--whether he'd be serving food, taking an order, or simply walking by--you couldn't help but study him. He was so...tense and irritated that you were afraid if one customer ticked him off, he'd go on a killing spree.

You felt bad, or at least a part of you did, but then you remembered how he was being an even bigger jerk to you than you were to him and your sympathy vanished. So, when you and Hux had left, you felt a burning gaze on the back of your head, causing you to turn around and look at Ben as you then proceeded to slide your hand into Hux's as you two exited.

Ben absolutely hated the newfound over-the-top PDA.

"Why is it that when I try to be friendly with Jupiter, she hisses at me, but when it's someone else, she's super kind?" Hux asked as he sat on your bed, Jupiter staring at him from her small bed in your room as he looked back. "Does she hate me?"

"No, I'm sure that's not it," You swatted your hand.

"Maybe she smells Milli? I mean that could be it seeing as how Jupiter has always been this way towards me..." Looking away from the cat, Hux sighed as you bit your tongue.

You couldn't tell him how Ben, too, had his own cat--yet--Jupiter adored him. It would, for a fact, make Hux upset. Which only made you think: did a damn cat really prefer one guy over the other for you? It seemed utterly impossible. Yet, here Jupiter was, hating your boyfriends guts but absolutely loving your so-called best friends...even when he was gone for so long.

"I'm sure that's it..." You lied. It was unbelievable how Jupiter--a cat who nearly loved everyone--utterly hated Hux.


	8. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Fallout by Catfish and the Bottlemen

The moment Hux had left your house was the moment your anxiety started kicking in. You had nearly forgotten about the fact that you had a project to present with no other than Ben the very next day and you definitely weren't up for that. If it wasn't for your pointless argument and you two being hard headed, you probably wouldn't have ditched school just before history started saying you were sick.

It was all planned out, if Ben was going to be rude and over the top, then so were you--you decided to act sick in the morning before leaving just so your parents knew there was a slight chance you'd come back home early. Then, you came for first period, continued acting sick to the point even Hux was worried that he begged you see the nurse. Of course, Ben was oblivious to it all in his jealous rampage that blinded him with hate, too busy focusing on other things to even notice you had left the class a few minutes earlier.

Then history came and there wasn't a single sign of you, Ben waiting and waiting for you to appear five minutes after the bell had rung, only to realize you _weren't_ coming, leaving him to do the presentation alone.

At first, he was somewhat okay with it, seeing as he did basically do all of the work, but then it hit him how little you contributed to then only miss the class. The rest of the class he was fuming, even having the audacity--after finding out through Rey that you had left early because you were 'sick'--to skip the rest of the school day just to 'visit' you.

Slamming his car door shut as he had parked his car near the sidewalk, Ben had found himself storming up your driveway and onto your front porch, banging on your door. "Hey! I know you're home!" Ben called out. "Don't think I wouldn't notice you ditching school just before history to avoid our project! One thing is to ignore me, but another is to fucking screw with our grade!" He shouted, feeling his veins in his neck wanting to burst.

Sitting in your room and rolling your eyes, you completely ignored him, flipping through a magazine as you lied on your bed. "This is what you deserve..." You mumbled, moving your attention to your nails.

"I couldn't give less of a shit if you hate me, all you fucking did was cut paper and that was it! I did all the god damn work and had to present the crap alone! You tell me how shitty and unfair that is!" Getting no response as Ben had continuously banged on your door, he backed up and looked up at your window, seeing the blinds open. "Son of a-" Rushing to your door, he pounded his fist harder against it. "Open the fucking door, y/n! Give me one good ass excuse as to why you think it's okay to skip our fucking presentation!" Not realizing the neighbor had been hearing the whole thing and was watching, Ben continued shouting profanities and roughly knocking on your house door as the neighbor had pulled out their phone.

Stuffing your face into your pillow as you covered your ears, you could still hear Bens shouting as it grew louder and louder. "Leave me alone..." You groaned into the pillow.

"Fuck, y/n! Just answer me, god dammit!" About to bang against the door again, Ben suddenly stopped as he heard a car door slam shut behind him.

"Sir, please step away from the door."

"Mind your own-"

Turning around and seeing the police officer, Ben rolled his eyes. "I said, please step away from the door."

"Look, I am trying to speak with the girl who lives inside-"

"There was a call of a disturbance, young man, you are causing quite the-"

"I don't give a crap! I am trying to talk to the girl that lives in there but she's ignoring me!" Ben shouted as the police officer walked up to him.

"Son, don't make me ask you again to step away from the door."

"Screw you." Looking over at the neighbor across the street, Ben shouted and flipped him off, "And screw you, too!"

Sighing, the police officer only pulled out his handcuffs as he walked closer to Ben. "Don't make me arrest-"

"Don't make me repeat myself! I am trying to-" Grabbing Bens arm and twisting it behind his back, he grunted. "Hey! What the hell! Let me go, you asshole!"

Hearing the pounding on the door die down as the yelling shifted elsewhere, you looked out your balcony window, only to see Ben struggling in a police officers hold as he shouted, not even bothering to filter out his words. "Ben, you idiot!" You spoke to yourself, sliding your feet into your slippers and darting out of our room in just your pajamas, not having time to pull on a robe or to change as the last thing you needed was for Ben to get arrested.

"I asked you three times to step away from the door, you refused and decided to back talk to me, even nearly punched me and-"

"Officer, wait!" You shouted as you rushed out. "Please, don't arrest him!"

Looking over his shoulder as he recognized your voice, Ben let out a sigh. "See, I told you I know the girl, now let me go!"

"I-I'm sorry, sir, he's-he's my-" Gulping, you took in a deep breath, "He's my boyfriend and we got into a fight and he's just coming over to apologize! I'm sure he meant no harm he's just very upset!" You lied.

"Is this true?" The officer looked at Ben as Ben nodded, feeling his insides turn. "Don't let it happen again, let this be a warning."

Sprinting up to Ben's side as the officer removed the cuffs, you nodded and stood in between the two. "I promise it will not, I'm sorry for the disturbance, I really am!" You nodded as you felt out of breath from how fast your heart was racing.

"It better not." The officer eyed Ben as Ben slowly nodded. "If anything happens to you, I will gladly take this fellow to jail." He spoke over to you as you blinked.

"Uh, n-nothing will happen, I promise you..." You nodded as the officer took a moment, only to get into his car and drive off. Seeing the car disappear down the road, you instantly turned around and faced Ben, face burning up as you glared at him. "You-you dumb fuck!" Harshly shoving him back, Ben stumbled the slightest, trying his best not to stare at your chest when your silk top was too thin and a bit too revealing. "You don't just go around disturbing neighborhoods!"

Narrowing his eyebrows as he snapped his attention away from being the slightest of turned on, Ben took a step closer and pointed a finger at you, "Don't go around scolding me! You don't just ditch your partner when a presentation happens, especially when you didn't do shit!"

"It is not my fault that you only made me cut out the stupid paper!" You fired back.

"And it's not my fault you said to not bother you, which I obeyed!" He shouted back as you clenched your jaw.

"You're so stupid! I said that because I was bitter because you made me cut paper for two hours and I was so bored and you were busy doing everything else!"

Swallowing, Ben only threw his hands up. "You have a mouth, you could have said something! Instead of being the brat you are and storming out because things didn't go your way, _princess_!"

"Fuck off! I am not a brat nor am I a princess!" You shouted.

"Well you act like a fucking princess when you ditch school saying you're sick when I'm sure as hell you're not!" Ben exclaimed, face burning up from all the blood rushing to it.

"I am! I am sick! That's why I left early!" You lied with a stomp.

"You're a terrible liar!" He nearly screamed in your face.

"I am not! Just leave me alone! Who cares if I didn't show up?! Doesn't make a difference when you would've probably taken over the presentation, too!" You pointed.

Watching from afar, once again, the neighbor narrowed his eyebrows. Was it healthy for a couple to argue like that? He honestly couldn't tell by the way you had easily just defended the young man moments ago.

"I would have not! I would've made you do the whole thing if that's what you would've liked!" Ben leaned closer as he was at eye level with you.

"Yes! Better than absolutely nothing! Instead of hogging everything you prick!"

"Oh, so now we're name calling? Real mature!" He fixed his posture, crossing his arms.

Rolling your eyes as you threw your hands up, you groaned. "Do not give me that bull crap, Ben, you just called me princess in a very non loving way!"

"Princess is nothing compared to prick!"

"You called me a brat as well! And a damn liar! It was about time I stepped up and called you what you are! A prick!" You nodded your head as Ben tugged at his hair, feeling his heart rate increasing a bit too rapidly for his own good.

"What's going on here?" Snapping your head in the voices direction, you and Ben realized your parents were now parked in the driveway.

"Uh, n-nothing! Ben was helping rehearse for an audition for one of the school plays!" You nodded. "Thank you, Ben, you can go now!" You forced a small as your mother swatted her hand.

"Nonsense! Ben, come in!" Walking towards the front door, your mom waved her hand for him to follow as you stood there, eye twitching.

"Thank you, Mrs. Kenobi." Ben grinned as he kept his eyes on your own, gladly taking your mothers offer and making you seethe.

Watching Ben follow your mother, your body grew even more tense. "Unbelievable..." You murmured as your father had heard you.

"Tell me about it." He rolled his eyes, walking ahead.

"It's a shame y/n had fallen sick when we had our project due today." Ben frowned as your mother nodded, you glaring.

"She told me about it, she said she felt terrible for having to miss it so that's why she tried going to school...but her cold must've grown worse then..." Your mother stated as Ben raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, what a good daughter you have...it would've been terribly _sucky_ if she had stayed in school." Ben nodded as he wore a fake look of sympathy.

"Mom, it's really nothing-"

"Oh, honey, it's fine...I'm sure Ben understands." She pointed her hand as you shook your head.

"N-no, I mean, I'm feeling a whole lot better now!" You nodded.

"Let me see..." Walking up to you, she placed her hand on your forehead. "Oh, yeah, you seem perfectly fine!" Bitting his tongue as Ben clenched his fists, he knew all along you had been faking it. "You could have stayed at school, right?"

"Right...but at the moment it was bad and I felt fatigue and was really hungry so the nurse said I either rested there or go home. But, honestly, I'm sure I would've grown worse in the nurses office with the lack of free room in there." You nodded as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Well, now that your fine, you can catch up on what you missed in class." Your mom smiled as your father then spoke up.

"Ah, crap, we forgot to buy those new luggages..." He sighed.

"Oh, we need those immediately!" Your mother jumped up. "Ben, you can stay as long as you'd like! Y/n...we will be back soon." She nodded, kissing your forehead before rushing off, you watching her go as you felt your heart sink--you knew you were in a world of trouble the second the front door to your house slammed shut.

"Bye..." Taking in a deep breath, you only heard shifting behind you.

"So you did lie, didn't you?" Ben crossed his arms as you took in a shaky breath.

"So what?" You turned around. "It's clear to me we are not on good grounds, so why does it bother you?"

"Why? Why does it bother me?" Ben narrowed his eyes. "Aside from the fucking fact that you lied and ditched me! Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you've been acting like a complete bitch to me since Monday?!"

Gasping, you shoved him back. "You're-you're such an asshole! Ugh, I haven't done anything to you! I don't deserve to be called a bitch!"

"Stop lying for fuck sake! You ignored me all day Sunday, was insanely dry Monday, argued with me and then acted like a complete child, then ignored me again yesterday and ditched me today!" Ben shouted.

"Has it occurred to you that my world does not revolve around Benjamin Solo?! That I have a life and other friends to tend to?! That I have a boyfriend who I never see?! THAT I AM A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS ME TIME?!" Your voice raised as you two were now panting from all the shouting.

"It still doesn't mean you should ignore your so called best friend! You know? The term and title _you_ gave me, _best friend_! It really feels shitty when your so called best friend ignores you and completely avoids you for no reason whatsoever and then act like it's my fault that we are in this mess!" Ben started walking closer and closer to you as you slowly backed up.

"I-I did not ignore you!"

"Yes, you did! And you didn't even bother to try communicating with me! Let alone, text me a simple a 'hello' or 'hope your day is well' which only takes two seconds!"

"Oh, don't act like the saint here when you haven't done any of that!" You retorted as Ben glared, knowing you were right.

"But I tried talking to you at school! I tried-"

"All you did was argue about pointless crap with me and act completely bitter, don't lie!"

"STOP TURNING THIS ON ME WHEN WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE AT FAULT!" Ben practically pinned you against the wall, your back colliding with it as you gasped the slightest. Seeing nothing but rage in his eyes, your heart began to thud rather harshly against your chest.

Lifting up your hand and swinging it back, your palm burned as Ben's cheek grew red from the sudden impact. "I'M NOT THE ASSHOLE WHO SAID SHE'S NOT MY TYPE!" You cried out, roughly pushing him back as he had rubbed his cheek.

"Oh, don't use that as an excuse to ignore me, that's absolutely pointless!" Moving his hand away from his cheek, his fists clenched at his sides as you two were now face to face.

"Screw you, Ben! You are so heartless!" You shouted, eyes brimming with tears.

Hearing bickering, Hux slowly pushed the front door open, only to see you practically corned as Ben towered in front of you. "What the hell is going on?!" Rushing over to pull Ben away from you, Hux suddenly fell back as Ben's fist had collided with his nose.

"Hux!" You gasped, running past Ben to crouch down.

Unable to stay any longer, Ben stormed out of your house, feeling his eyes burn with tears as he clenched and unclenched his fists. He never meant for it to go _this_ far.

"I'm sorry...are you alright?" You asked Hux as you had swiftly gotten up to get him something frozen to press up against his nose.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine...are you okay?" He asked as he stood up, you nodding. 

"Yeah...I'm okay." You lied, you were far from okay, you didn't like the fact that you and Ben were on bad terms--that was the last thing you wanted. "I'm alright..."

. . .

Lying on your stomach as you rested your chin upon your pillow, you held Benny the Bunny in front of you as you frowned. How was it possible that you and Ben, in under two weeks, have had multiple arguments already? You felt guilty, putting the blame on yourself as you felt as if you had been the one to trigger everything--and, truly--you kind of were.

But then you realize you couldn't take the whole blame, Ben had taken things out of proportion; sure, you shouldn't have smacked him, but he shouldn't have flat out punched Hux.

The second Hux was back on his feet, you made sure he was okay before telling him you wanted to be alone; his whole reason being there was to check up on you and see if you were feeling better.

_"I'm sorry, I just want to be alone..." You had told him, kissing his cheek as he nodded, leaving you be._

Sighing, you turned on your back and held Benny to your chest, staring at the ceiling as your eyes weld up with tears. You didn't want to lose him, but you were starting to hate who he became.

"Honey," Your mother knocked on your door before walking in, seeing you lying there. "Are you alright?"

Sitting up, you nodded, putting the stuffed toy down before rubbing your eyes. "Yeah, im fine." You smiled. "What's up?"

"I know it's very last minute, but since your father and I have our anniversary coming up real soon, we thought we'd celebrate on a vacation." Your mother smiled as you raised your eyebrows.

"Really?! Cool, where?" You shifted your whole body to face her.

"Well, the thing is, we were planning on going to Paris-"

"Mom!"

"Sorry, sorry! I know how much you want to go but we do, too, and thought it'd be great to go for our anniversary..."

Sighing, you crossed your arms. "When?"

"Tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow?!" You exclaimed.

"Till next Sunday-"

"Jeez, you want me to stay alone that long?!" You freaked.

"Of course not!" She swatted a hand. "You'll be staying at the Solo's!" Feeling your heart sink as your eyes widened, you suddenly felt your breathing becoming heavy.

"S-Solo's?" You questioned as your mother nodded. "W-...why?"

"Well, I mean, your father and I know Han and Leia and trust them...plus, you're best friends with their kids, so it's only fair on all of us..." She trailed, unsure of how to approach you as you seemed shocked.

"I-I...could stay alone?"

"Nonsense, I already told them you'd be staying so you can go straight to their place tomorrow or have Ben take you-"

"No!" You shouted as your mothers eyes widened. "No, because I have cheer practice and a lot to catch up on and wouldn't want to bug him so I'll see if Rey has band practice and walk with her...if not, the bus..." You nodded.

"Okay, honey..." She smiled, although a bit suspicious. "Well, I suggest you pack up now." Walking over to you, she kissed your forehead.

"Have fun..." You muttered as she had left your room, leaving you there as you fell back on your bed, rubbing your face and groaning. "I am in my own hell..."

. . .

"So, you'll be staying at the Solo's?" Hux asked as the two of you stood outside by his car in the school parking lot.

"Yup, for like ten days...I mean, I'm glad it's them because Rey's there but I'm going to miss my bed..." You sighed. "And my room...I get to take Jupiter with me, so that's something." You nodded.

"I'm assuming you won't need a ride those days?" Hux asked, feeling the slightest of relieved but disappointed.

"We'll see, I may take the bus with Rey or whoever takes her-"

"Not with Ben?" He raised a brow, amazed you hadn't suggested him.

"No? I mean, I don't think so?" You sighed once again, only to see Rey walking in your direction alongside Finn.

"Is it true Ben got arrested?!" She nearly shrieked as your eyes widened, you shaking your head.

"W-"

"Ben got arrested?" Hux asked as you shook your head.

"N-no! No, he didn't get arrested, where did you hear that?" You asked, feeling your heart thud against your chest.

"Finn here said Poe told him that Ben told Poe he almost got arrested," Rey pointed her thumb at Finn who looked down in shame.

"Finn..." You crossed your arms.

"I'm sorry, it just slipped!" He exclaimed as Rey rolled her eyes. "Poe said I couldn't tell anyone but-"

"You did." Rubbing your forehead, you sighed. "He didn't get arrested-"

"But he _almost_ did! Key word, almost!" Rey pointed a finger. "I swear, this boy wants me to beat his ass."

"Let's just act like this discussion never happened, alright?" Seeing them all nod, you then grabbed Hux's hand. "C'mon, lets go to class." Walking off, Rey turned to Finn as she went off, Finn only regretting ever telling her.

"What was that about?" Hux asked as the two of you walked hand in hand to chemistry. "Does it have to do with what happened yesterday?

"Armi, please, I told you not to bring it up..." You sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm just-"

"It's fine, Ben almost got arrested because the neighbors thought he was trying to break in to my place." You stated, not even bothering to look at Hux when you responded. "He was just knocking on my door and I took a while to answer because I was showering." You lied as Hux slowly nodded his head.

Entering the class room as you saw Ben sitting in his usual spot in the far back, keeping his attention out the window as he leaned his chin into his palm, you gulped the slightest as your stomach turned. "Are you alright?" Seeing how stiff you had grown, you quickly nodded to Hux as you continued walking to your seat, trying not to gaze over at Ben.

The rest of the class was spent with you constantly shifting in your spot uncomfortably as you could feel Ben's glare burning into your backside; every now and then Hux noticing and growing concerned as you simply shrugged it off and said you were just antsy from missing three practices. 

Anxiously tapping your foot, you found yourself slowly turning your head and looking over your shoulder, Ben kept his focus ahead as if he hadn't been staring at you. Sighing, you turned your head away, standing up to go to the restroom as you felt yourself slowly gaining a panic attack.

This was the last thing you needed, you didn't want to continuously feel uneasy and anxious whenever you were around Ben or thought of him--it wasn't that you were scared of him, it was the fact that you were losing a friend you had just regained and feared it'd be for good this time. "Ugh..."

Pacing back and forth just outside of the classroom and by a wall of lockers, you pushed your hand through your hair as you took in deep breaths, trying to maintain your sanity. "I don't need this...I don't. I shouldn't feel this way, I shouldn't be missing him as much as I am, I want to be away from him, I want to forget...it's the only way." You nodded. "It's the only way to not fall harder..." Taking in a deep breath, you slid your hands down your face as you knew you were doomed. "Even though it's becoming too late." Hearing the bell ring as the classes poured out with students, you cursed under your breath as you tried rushing back inside the class.

Pushing and shoving past people as you excused yourself, you nearly stumbled in, seeing the partially empty classroom as only one person was still in it---Ben. Gulping, you quietly walked over to the table you had been sitting at and gathered your things, feeling your heart race as you knew for a fact he was watching you.

Tugging your bag over your shoulders, you were just about to walk out until you nearly rammed into someone, looking up to see Ben. "Do you need a ride to my place after school?" He blatantly asked as you quietly swallowed.

"Uh, I have practice, I can just take the bus..." Unable to look him in the eye, you quickly walked around him and out of the room, feeling the world around you slow down as you could hear your heart beating in your ears, eyes tearing up. You wanted to distance yourself from him but hated the feeling. 

How long was this going to last?

. . .

"Y/n! Hey!" Walking towards the doors that lead to the football field, you stopped in your tracks and turned around. "You're in theater, right?"

Nodding your head, you smiled to Natasha. "Yeah, why?"

"When are the auditions for Grease?" She curiously asked as you squinted your eyes, thinking about it.

"Um, I believe sometime next week? There should be posters around the school promoting it." You stated with a nod.

"I was thinking of auditioning...will you?" She grinned as her face glowed with excitement.

"I'm not sure, I'm still thinking about it-"

"You totally should! You'd be the perfect Sandy!" She squealed as you lightly breathed.

"We'll see, I'll let you know if anything." You sweetly smiled with a nod.

"Alright, I hope you do!" Walking alongside you to the field, Natasha leaned towards you and kept her gaze elsewhere as she whispered. "I also think Ben would be the perfect Danny...but that's my opinion." She winked before walking off to the rest of the squad as you stood there with your eyes wide, only to look over to the bleachers to see Ben sitting there.

Looking away and shutting your eyes, you took in a deep breath, only to exhale loudly. Was he really _that_ persistent to take you home with him? You still had to go back to your place to get your things so either way, you couldn't _possibly_ go with him.

"Y/n, I see you're finally back." Lying your bags with the rest, you waved at your coach.

"I'm alive."

"Good, you're lucky practice was cancelled yesterday so you didn't miss much. We changed a few parts in the routine but it's easy to manage, everything else has just been reviewing." Nodding your head as everyone went to their places, you went to your own, tightening your ponytail as the first thing in your line of vision was Ben. "Warm ups and then we'll go straight into it!" She clapped her hands.

As practice had gone on, you had hoped and hoped that Hux would show up and make up for missing Tuesday's as you had skipped, but every time your eyes shifted to the bleachers, they always landed on Ben and no one else; and every time you looked away, there wasn't a single sign of Hux.

You wanted it to be a sign, that you didn't have to ask or remind Hux to show up, rather, he'd come on his own like the good boyfriend he was--or at least sometimes is. But, you remembered how he was always way too caught up in his work to even _try_ unless you were the one to say something about it.

Continuously looking at the time every chance you had to drink some water, the minutes were only passing by faster and faster, and when there had only been ten minutes left of practice, you had given up. "He's not coming..." You muttered to yourself, sighing in disappointment.

"Alright, we'll end it ten minutes early. Y/n, I want you to review the new steps at home, okay?" Nodding your head, you went straight for your stuff, staying in the tank top and shorts you had been in rather than changing into something else as you wanted to make a run for it, in hopes Ben wouldn't stop you.

But, with your luck, that wasn't going to happen; because the second your foot had landed on the side walk, was the second Ben had walked right up to you. "You don't need to take the bus-"

Nervously speaking up as you looked everywhere but at him, you stuttered. "I-I need to get my things and pick up Jupiter, so it's no-"

"I'll take you."

Holding tightly onto the straps of your bag, you shook your head. "It's fine, I don't need your-"

"I'm not going to let you go on a bus like that when we both know how disgusting men can be." He stated as you looked down at your attire, knowing he was right. "And I'm not letting there be a chance of you getting robbed, alright? I don't need someone stealing Jupiter from you." Turning around as he had stuck his hand into his pocket while his other held his blazer over his shoulder, he walked on as you slowly followed behind, knowing there was no use to fighting on for him to let you go; especially when he was one hundred percent right.

Getting into the passenger seat as you awkwardly sat there, Ben got into the drivers seat and started his car, turning on his music as it softly began to play--you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss hearing the music he had to offer.

"What's this one called?" You curiously asked as you broke the silence between the two of you, Ben driving out of the school parking lot and over to your house.

"Ribs." Nodding your head, you pulled out your phone, going into the notes and adding the song to the ever growing list. Looking over at your phone for a moment, Ben smiled the slightest, "by Lorde."

Typing it in, you locked your phone and placed it on to your thigh as Ben slightly turned up the volume. You couldn't seem to understand as to how, in the same day, he had been glaring at you will you wanted to avoid him, only for the two of you to sit a few feet apart in the same car, quietly enjoying the same song. _I guess I'll never understand us._


	9. I Wanna Be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys | p.s.a. ben's a fuckin perv

"I'll be quick." You nodded as Ben had pulled up to your driveway, getting out of the car and heading over to the front door. Rushing inside and up the stairs, Ben only followed you, you not realizing until Jupiter had ran right past you the second you had entered your room. "Jupiter?" Turning around, you saw Ben standing there as Jupiter rubbed up against him.

"I'm sorry." He looked at you, eyebrows lightly furrowed as his shoulders were slumped.

"You're-you're sorry?" You stuttered as he nodded. "That's it? That's all you're going to say?" Blinking, Bens eyebrows narrowed even more. "Do you understand how shitty I feel?" You pointed to yourself. "One thing is to lower a girls self esteem by saying she isn't your type so casually without a care, but another is to yell at her and attack her for something as stupid as a project!" Your voice raised as Ben lightly flinched.

"I-"

"I hated the feeling of being pissed off at you because, finally, after four god damn years I had gotten you back! And this is what happens?!" Feeling your tears well up in your eyes, you balled your hands into fists, nails digging into your skin. "You don't understand how much you mean to me! And you don't understand how much I hate these stupid arguments!" Not realizing you were already crying, Ben had instantly pulled you into a hug as he muttered his apologies while stroking your hair. "I'm sorry for slapping you and I'm sorry for ignoring you...but you don't get how much it hurts when you act like what you do or say is okay..."

"I was just...I was very upset, and with everything that has been on the back of my mind, building up, I took it out on you...I didn't mean to." Holding you tighter, you loosened up your fists and slowly raised your hands to lie them on his back.

"We're both at fault here-"

"But I exploded, I shouldn't have, no best friend does that," Clutching onto your hair just enough where it didn't hurt you, Ben shut his eyes and breathed in. "I just...I'm sorry."

"I don't want to lose you, Ben." Clutching fistfuls of his shirt, Ben kissed the side of your head as he shook his own.

"You won't ever lose me, not again, I promise." Nodding your head, you rested your forehead against his chest. As much as you convinced yourself that being distant with him would make your problems easier, it in fact only made things worse for the two of you. "Especially when you're stuck with me for ten days."

Chuckling, you shoved him back to wipe your tears away. "Wonderful..." Turning around to grab your bags, Ben only took them from you. "I am capable of handling my own bags, thank you-"

"Not when they're twice your weight! What do you have in here? Your whole closet?"

Looking away, you casually went to pick up Jupiter and walked off, "No...I also have makeup and a lot of hair products in there."

Rolling his eyes, Ben smirked. "You're such a girl."

"Oh, what an insult!" Walking down the stairs and over to the front, Ben went to put your things in the trunk as you locked the front door, going back to the passenger seat as Jupiter sat on your lap. "Chewie is _so_ going to love Jupiter."

Raising his eyebrows as he got back into the car, Ben corrected. "Chewie? Psht, he isn't the problem, Kylo is."

"Ben, Kylo isn't all that bad." You rolled your eyes as Jupiter moved to sit in between you and Ben. "I'm sure Jupiter will like him." You nodded as you rubbed her head.

"We'll see about that." Turning up the music for the short ride to his place, you had found yourself constantly adding songs to the list you had in your notes.

"So far I have about seven songs," You counted as you looked over at ben.

"Seven? That's nothing, you clearly need to ride with me more." He scoffed as you shook your head.

"Well, since I'll be with you for ten days, I'm pretty sure you'll be my ride around...no questions asked." You snickered as Ben smiled.

"I guess that's fair enough seeing as we _do_ go to the same school and are staying in the same place...but-"

"But, what?" You sighed as you turned to look at him, Ben parking in his driveway.

"But, you owe me," He pointed a finger with a wink before turning off his car and getting out, leaving you sitting there as your heart fluttering.

Picking up Jupiter and getting out of his car, you watched as Ben grabbed your bags while you picked up your school bag and cheerleading bag. "I feel like I'm staying in a hotel..."

"Why?" He chuckled as he looked over his shoulder for a moment, walking to the front door. "Isn't like my house is that big, basically the same size as yours."

"Well, seeing as it's not my house and someone else is holding my bags and taking them for me...kind of feels like it." Following after him as you waited for him to open the door, he smirked.

"I guess I'm just going to have to treat you like specialty." Rolling your eyes at him as he opened the door, you pressed your hand against his chest to pushed past him.

"Yeah, okay." The second you stepped foot into the house was the second you were tackled into a hug by Rey. "Ah...hello!" You laughed as Jupiter jumped out of your hold, walking off while Ben took your bags upstairs.

"She's staying with _me_ so put them in _my_ room!" Rey called out as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Clearly." He huffed, walking off as Rey grinned.

"I don't know about you but I'm very excited for this! We can do so much!" She shrieked as you nodded with a laugh.

"Well, first things first, I need to shower....I probably smell like crap-"

"You smell fine!" Ben called out, causing you to slightly blush as Rey gagged.

"Ben, please, be gross somewhere else!" Rey shouted back as you awkwardly laughed, only for your attention to turn to Jupiter.

"Jupiter?" Walking over, Kylo meowed, only for him to run up against her as Jupiter backed up and hissed. "That's so odd..."

"Kylo never likes anyone..." Rey spoke up.

"And Jupiter never hates anyone..." Slowly walking up to the two, Jupiter ran off, hiding behind you as Kylo stopped in front of you and meowed.

"What the hell?! Kylo likes you?!" Rey exclaimed as he moved closer to you, you crouching and petting him as Jupiter hissed again.

"Apparently so." You chuckled, standing back up. "I hope these two don't fight..."

"I think Kylo likes Jupiter," Rey winked as you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, well, Jupiter seems to hate him already." Walking off, you realized Han and Leia weren't home as you made your way up the steps and to Rey's room.

"You'll be sleeping on the floor since _REY_ is a savage and does not like to share-"

"I heard that!"

Chuckling, you shook your head as you thanked Ben. "The air mattress is fine and thanks for brining my stuff up." Moving to your bags and crouching down to get what you needed to shower, Ben made his way over to the door.

"I'll leave you be." About to close the door, you called out to Ben.

"Wait, Ben!" Standing up as Ben pushed the door open and peaked in, he arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"This may be too much to ask, but, can we hang out tomorrow after school? Anywhere, really. I'd ask Rey but she has that band competition to practice for and she gets out later than I do and I know she'll be tired so I didn't want to-"

"Sure." Ben cut you off as you had been babbling too much, smiling over at you as you inhaled deeply, smiling back at him.

"Thanks, I mean, you don't have to but-"

"It's fine, it's a friend date," He winked before shutting the door and leaving you alone as your mouth suddenly fell open.

"It's a _friend_ date, relax..." You muttered to yourself, grabbing your things and heading into the bathroom. "Just as friends."

. . .

"I don't get those two..." You spoke up, lying on your stomach, horizontally against Ben's bed as one arm dangled as the other was in an upright position with your chin in the palm of your hand. "Jupiter loves everyone...well, except for Hux and now Kylo..." Reaching out to pet Kylo as Ben had sat on the floor, legs crossed while he played with Jupiter, he nearly choked on his own spit. "Are you okay?"

Looking up at you to see your eyebrows furrowing in concern, Ben cleared his throat as he swatted his hand, trying not to laugh. "Jupiter doesn't like Hux? How sad..." He fought his grin as he turned his attention back to Jupiter.

"At all...he thinks it's because she can smell his cat on him."

Arching an eyebrow, Ben looked up at you. "That can't be it, I'm sure Jupiter can smell Kylo on-" Seeing your facial expression, Bens eyebrows raised, only to fall as he looked down at Jupiter. "Oh..."

"I couldn't tell him that so I just let him believe what he wanted to believe." You sighed as Ben bit his inner cheek.

"What a shame-"

"Oh, shut up, you don't have to act like you care." Sitting up as Bens head snapped in your direction, you stood up and walked over to him as you nudged his ribs with your knee. "Isn't like you totally didn't deck him in the nose."

Nodding his head, Ben let out a deep breath. "Right..."

Ruffling with Ben's hair, you nudged your head, "Come on, let's watch a movie or something."

Standing up, Ben followed you behind as Kylo and Jupiter had done the same. "So, what do you have in mind? I have a bunch of DVD's but we can also find something on demand?" Ben asked as the two of you made your way to the living room and plopping onto the couch.

"On demand is fine, it's easier unless the options suck." You shrugged as Kylo and Jupiter joined you and Ben on the couch, Kylo trying to sit next to Jupiter but she hissed at him before sitting on the arm rest all curled up while Kylo sat on the seat right next to her. "Do they have Beetlejuice?"

"Beetlejuice?" Ben arched an eyebrow as he looked over at you. "You like Beetlejuice? Better yet, you like Tim Burton?"

"Of course! I mean, who doesn't?" You shoved his shoulder.

"I thought it'd be too _dark_ for your liking." He teased as you rolled your eyes, pinching his arm.

"Leave me alone, I can still like dark things, okay? I'll have you know I _love_ his films." Crossing your arms, you huffed.

"What ever you say, pastel princess."

Hearing Ben snicker, you huffed, acting as if the nickname annoyed you even though you honestly didn't mind. "What ever...emo prince." You fired back as Ben scoffed, only to laugh.

"Emo prince? Wow, and here I thought I was the only snarky one-"

"Oh shut up and play the damn movie!" Grabbing the remote and shoving his face away, you started the movie as Ben gently pushed your hand away from his face and snickered, standing up to turn off the lights.

"Now, I'll warn you that some things in this movie are quote terrifying, okay?" Ben stated, as if he was concerned.

"Shut up, I've seen it before!" Grabbing his hand and tugging him back down to the couch, he laughed as you then shushed him, causing him to lift his hands up in defense.

Throughout the movie, as Kylo had grown tired of trying to get Jupiter's attention or even trying to sit with her--when she only continuously pushed him away--he only found himself making his way closer to you, lying on your lap and eventually trying to get _your_ attention instead.

"Kylo, please..." You whispered as the cat continuously meowed at you, sitting up and pressing his front paws against your chest. Pushing him down each time, he only kept doing it. "Kylo..."

Noticing the commotion, Ben sighed. Getting tired of the nonstop meowing and the fact that Kylo wouldn't stop bother you, Ben reached out in the darkness and grabbed onto--what he assumed to be--the black cat.

Hearing a sudden yelp, Ben assumed it had been Kylo, but the second he realized what it actually was, he had grown wide-eyed. Staring at him as your breath hitched, your heart fluttered rapidly as his hand had grabbed your breast.

Gulping as Ben blinked, the two of you stayed like that for a good five seconds before Ben instantly removed his hand and grabbed Kylo, standing up and rushing away. "I'm s-sorry...sorry...it was an accident..."

Watching him leave your sight as he had rushed back up to his room, you took in a deep breath, the feeling of his hand still being there lingered. "Oh god..." You muttered to yourself as you took in a deep breath, deciding you should go to bed, shutting off the TV and taking Jupiter with you. Now _that_ was going to keep you awake all night.

The sad part was--even though you were shocked and knew how wrong it was even though it was an accident--you kind of liked it. It wasn't like Hux did anything or gave you much excitement in your relationship.

Making your way up to Rey's room, you stopped at the door as you looked over to Ben's, sighing before entering Rey's and placing Jupiter down. Seeing how Rey was already knocked out, you slid under the covers of the air mattress as you stared up at the ceiling. _I should've smacked him...I should have yelled at him instead of staring at him...but it was an accident_....

Rolling onto your side as you rubbed your face, you groaned; clearly things weren't about to get easier for you.

. . .

Spending the whole night thinking about how he had basically cupped your whole boob rather than his obnoxious cat, he had felt so guilty that it was eating him alive, the incident repeating in his head. It was as if he could still feel your breast in his hand and the sensation would not leave.

"I grabbed her boob instead of Kylo...and, in my defense, it was dark and I could barely see-"

"And you didn't even bother to look!" Poe exclaimed as he smacked Ben's arm.

"I know! I was just trying to watch the movie and I wasn't thinking-"

"Clearly you weren't when you grabbed her whole fucking boob! Why would you do that, Benjamin?! And when's it gonna lead to second base?!"

About to defend himself, Bens mouth fell shut as his eyebrows knitted. "I thought you were scolding me not cheering me on?"

"Hey, I'm doing both, that's what good friends are for!" Poe lifted up a finger as Ben rolled his eyes, only to have Rey and Finn walk up to the two.

"What's going on?" Rey curiously asked as Ben gulped, Poe turning to face her with a smirk.

"Ben, here, grabbed his first boob," Poe winked as Rey gasped, smacking her brothers arm.

"Gross! Mom and dad didn't raise you to be that way!" Storming off, Ben shot a look at Poe.

"Who?!" Finn asked, curiosity taking over as he took Rey's spot.

"Son, I can't tell you that because not even I know." Poe patted Finn's shoulder as Finn turned to face Ben.

"Who was it, Ben? Tell us!" Finn nodded as Ben sighed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uh...well, her name is....her name is Ariana and it happened at work..." He lied with a nod as Finn grew wide eyed.

"Was it an accident?" Finn arched an eyebrow.

"Nah, totally on purpose." Ben smirked as he crossed his arms, Finn shaking his head.

"No damn respect for women..." Feeling his shoulders slump as he watched Finn walk off, Poe then smacked Ben's chest.

"You didn't do it on purpose! You're too much of a pussy!" Poe retorted as Ben gasped.

"Hey! Do not talk to me like that!" He pointed a finger as Poe rolled his eyes.

"Have you heard y/n say anything about it?" Poe suddenly asked as Ben shook his head.

"No, not that I know of, I'm pretty sure she's gonna stay quiet about it since...you know, she has a boyfriend." Ben rolled his eyes as Poe sighed.

"She's probably embarrassed-"

"Dude, she stared at me...she was staring at me when it happened! She didn't even smack me or yell at me to let go! She just _stared_!" Ben exclaimed as Poe's eyed widened.

"Are you telling me she liked it?" Poe raised an eyebrow as Ben instantly shook his head.

"W-what? No way!" He shoved Poe's shoulder.

"I don't know, man...if she didn't get angry or tried stopping you, she probably liked the feeling of it. I mean, it isn't like Hux is all that fun, I don't even think he kisses her."

"Oh, no, he does." Ben nodded. "And it's the worst thing I've ever seen."

"Well, at least Hux doesn't grab her boobs by accident when trying to grab his cat, that's for sure-"

"Hux doesn't even grab anything! Let alone, touch!" Ben retorted.

"Sometimes I wonder as to how y/n even likes him when barely anyone does...they just swallow him because he's her boyfriend and he is the class president and has a lot of power..."

"No one likes him?" Ben asked as Poe began walking to class.

"Not really, he's a real dick but y/n and others--like Rey--don't see it." Poe shrugged as he walked backwards before turning around. "But, it's your job to make sure she realizes one day!"

Seeing Poe disappear into the distance, Ben took in a deep breath. "You have no idea how long I've been meaning to."

"So how is it staying at the Solo residence?" Hux asked as he walked alongside you, the two of you entering the chemistry classroom, going to your usual seats. 

"It's..." Thinking about the night before, you took in a deep breath, "different...I mean, it's only been like one night so I can't say much." Shrugging, you placed your bag down as you pulled out your notebook, leaning your chin into the palm of your hand as you wiggled your pen in your other.

"How long exactly will you be staying there?" Settling down next to you as he prepared his notes, you looked over, seeing how neat he was. What kind of high school student really comes _that_ prepared and is _that_ neat?

Sighing, you looked away from him, "Ten days." Turning your attention ahead, your eyes landed on the doorway just as Ben had walked in, causing your throat to lock as your eyes widened. Quickly looking away as you suddenly grew stiff, you awkwardly covered your face as you looked down at your notebook, hand lying against your forehead.

Looking over at you, Ben felt his heart throb as he thought about the incident, suddenly feeling guilty; but it washed away as he had thought about how you weren't the slightest of pissed when it happened. "Ten days? That's quite a bit..."

Slowly lifting your head up to see Ben had left your sight, you let out a small breath in relief, looking over at Hux, only to find yourself looking directly at Ben. Gulping as Ben turned his head over to you, you blinked repetitively and quickly looked away, shaking your head as you pushed your hand through your hair. "Yeah...its going to be quite...interesting."

Unable to keep your focus throughout class as you had found your thoughts constantly drifting to the incident, you grew flustered. In the (almost) four years of being with Hux, not once had he done anything that... _intimate_ before, let alone, even _tried_. All he ever did was kiss you, and if you were lucky, hug you on occasion. As much as you appreciated his respect in boundaries, you had wished that at least once he would try doing something different. It didn't have to be as big as losing your virginity to him, but a simple touch or whispering sweet nothings to you. But what did you get?

"Maybe after school you can come to my debate and cheer me on," Hux winked at you before he left your sight as the two of you were leaving class.

 _That's_ what you got. "Ugh..." Turning out of the class to head to History, you suddenly felt someones arm loop with your own.

"Hello, y/n! Jeez, you are so short, I have to lean to do this..." Looking up, your eyebrows furrowed the slightest.

"Phasma?"

"Oh! So you remember me?" She shrieked as you tilted your head back the slightest.

"Of course I do? Why wouldn't I? You're at every football game..." You awkwardly chuckled. 

"I mean, since you're so popular you'd expect that your kind would forget." Phasma shrugged as you arched an eyebrow.

"My kind? I only hang out with the same like, four people..." 

"Yeah, but you're still popular. But that isn't important now, what's important is Ben Solo." She nodded as your eyebrows furrowed. "Sorry, that sounded so weird...I mean, what's important is your friendship with Ben. I remember in middle school that you and I, aside from Poe and Finn although they rarely spoke to him, were his only friends and you really brought him happiness."

"R-really?" You smiled.

"I mean, I made him happy, too...but you made his days a lot better and I'm hoping you'd do the same now for him. He's a cool dude and he's like a brother to me and if I know the source to his happiness is you, I'd just like to say for you to keep it going. You mean a lot to him, y/n." Patting your back, Phasma walked into the classroom before you as you stood there, heart pounding.

"That's what best friends are for..." You muttered to yourself, thinking how he made you insanely happy, even if you two argued a little too much for your own good.

Walking into the class as your eyes landed on Ben, you smiled and made your way over, taking a seat in front of him as you turned around. "I'm sorry for-"

"It's totally fine!" You swatted your hand. "It was an accident, we all make accidents." Nodding your head, Ben narrowed his eyebrows.

"Good, because it would honestly suck if my actions pushed you away..." He leaned forward, voice growing lower as you chuckled.

"You're-you're good!"

Grinning, Ben leaned in just a bit more before pushing some of your hair behind your ear, causing your chest to tighten. "Perfect." Winking, Ben trailed his finger from the tip of your jaw to your chin before leaning back in his chair as the teacher spoke up, causing you to slowly turn around as your heart raced.

This boy was going to be the death of you with his constant unexpected flirtation.

. . .

"We will not be dressing out for gym today as there's a leak in the boys locker room so it's freeplay." The gym coach announced as everyone mumbled before spreading out.

"Let's go out on the field." You nudged Rey as the two of you stood up, Rey grabbing onto Finn and pulling him along. Throughout the school day, even during history, Ben had found himself sending you looks and smirks every time the two of you made eye contact. You weren't sure what caused the sudden boost of confidence in the young man, but it was driving you wild and all you wanted to do was whine--it wasn't fair on your end. The fact that you felt so helpless each and every time only made you more irritated.

"Rey, can I please play basketball..." Finn groaned as Rey sighed, shooing him off.

"Fine, go and join Poe." 

"I have no practice after school today, bless." You smiled, moving onto the grass and deciding the only way to entertain yourself was to do all sorts of flips, starting off with cartwheels. 

"Lucky you, I do." Studying you, Rey tried going for a cartwheel, failing each time. "I have a competition Sunday and I'm ready to get it over with. The anxiety is killing me." Sighing as she decided to just sit on the grass and watch you go, you landed and looked at her for a moment.

"I'm sure you guys will do great and get first place!" Nodding, you went on with your cartwheels. "Also...Hux somewhat invited me to his debate, but I really don't want to go. Those are so boring and he always makes it competitive and I rather not."

"Ben, where you going?" Poe called out as Ben had walked off.

"I gotta ask Rey and see if she needs a ride today!" He yelled in response before turning his attention back ahead, eyes landing on you as you went on with your cartwheels, changing it by doing back handsprings and aerials. "Holy crap..." He mumbled to himself, watching you go. Head bouncing with every flip you made, his eyes suddenly widened at the sight of your exposed underwear. Unable to look away as the image was now engraved in his brain, Ben's heart raced as he had completely forgotten about you flipping, rather, the sight of your panties.

"Oh! Do the one where you flip and then you do that backwards one!" Rey called out to you.

"You mean a roundoff back handspring?" Seeing Rey nod eagerly, you took in a deep breath. 

"See how many you can do!" Rey clapped as you raised your eyebrows.

"Alright..."

Watching you go as your skirt continuously flowed in the air with every flip you had done, Ben hadn't realized you were going straight towards him; every flip you took brought you closer and closer, Rey realizing that you were bound to run into Ben as she stood up. "Ben! Ben! Get out of the way!" She shouted, but Ben was too caught up in his fantasy world as his jaw hung loose, too turned on to even realize someone was yelling at him. "BEN!"

Suddenly being knocked off of his feet as his nose was aching in pain, his eyes were welling up with tears as they streamed down, him not realizing as his thoughts were elsewhere. _Pink lacy underwear will be the death of me_. "Ben!" You shrieked, going onto your knees as he lied there, nose bleeding. "Ben, are you okay?! I'm so sorry!"

Slightly smiling to himself, he only flinched at the excruciating pain that shot up his nose. _I never knew having my dreams come true would be this dangerous_. "I'm...I'm-" Lying there as the blood dripped down, your eyes widened.

"Dammit, Ben, I was trying to warn you." Rey crossed her arms as she stood there, blocking the sun from his view.

"Ben, are you okay? We should really take you to the nurses office!" Trying to help him up, Ben groaned. 

 _Fucking pink laced underwear._ "I'm...I'm fine..." Ben nodded, standing up and trying to stop the bleeding as he tilted his head back.

"What the hell were you doing anyways?" Rey asked as Ben gulped, looking over at you and Rey.

"Admiring the work of art..." Growing wide eyed at Ben's statement, you blushed as Rey arched an eyebrow, "That is y/n flipping! Yeah!" _Nice save, dumbass._


	10. No Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: No Control by One Direction | Here's more pervy ben and slightly pervy reader

_Pink. Laced. Underwear._ Lost in his own dream world, Ben held the bag of ice against his nose, not realizing the blood dripping down until you had walked in and shoved a pair of tampons up his nostrils. "What the hell?" He jumped as you had stood up straight from bending as Ben had been sitting on the cot. "Did you? Did you just-" Removing the icepack and touching the string from the tampons, Ben's eyebrow arched. "Is that a tampon?"

"Seeing as the nurses at our school are unreliable, since they aren't even nurses rather faculty members, the tampons will help absorb the blood." You stated with a shrug as your hands were on your hips.

"I can hardly breathe-"

"Breathe through your mouth, doofus." Shaking your head, you snickered, taking a seat next to him. "How come you didn't move if you saw me coming your way?" You curiously asked as Ben's eyes widened.

 _The fucking pink laced underwear, that's why_. "Uh...I just, I was enthralled in all your flipping that I guess I didn't put two and two together that you were coming directly at me." He awkwardly chuckled as you let out a sigh.

"I could've broken your nose, Ben." You scolded as Ben looked over at you.

"I know, and I'm sorry." He frowned as you shook your head with a small smile. "But I'm fine!" Arching an eyebrow at him, Ben cleared his throat. "Well...somewhat..."

"Just, please be careful next time...if there is a next time." Laughing as you swung your legs from how your feet barely touched the floor, Ben smiled.

 _I hope there's a next time._ Instantly shaking his head at his disturbing thoughts, he mentally face-palmed. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I work after school so I don't know if you want me to walk you to the bus stop or if Rey's going to take you-"

"I can go with you!" Your head popped up, you instantly feeling embarrassed as Ben's eyebrows raised. "I-I mean, I don't mind going with you to work..." You smiled as Ben slowly nodded.

"Alright, as long as you don't mind seeing me tell off rude customers while my boss scolds me like the grandson she thinks I am." Standing up from his spot on the cot, Ben nudged his head for you to get up. "C'mon, it's enough that we missed most of gym cause of this."

Nodding your head, you stood up and followed Ben out. "Oh, we should go to the gym since we left our bags in there!"

Looking towards you as you had instantly grabbed Ben's hand, you rushed the two of you over. "O-Okay! Why are we in such a rush?"

"Because another class is in there and they could steal my things!" You exclaimed as you ran on, one of Ben's hands pressing the ice pack against his nose as the other was being held tight by your own.

"Seriously? I'm sure no one wants to steal your notebook-"

"No, I have _things_ in there, Ben," You looked at him for a moment before looking back ahead.

 _Things? What kinds of things?_ Feeling his curiosity take over, he couldn't help but imagine what sorts of things you held in there. _Does she have backup underwear that's really expensive? Or maybe a bra? What if it's-_

"Come on, Ben, you have long legs for a reason!" Tugging him, Ben's eyebrows narrowed at your statement.

_Long legs for a reason? What reason?! What is it that she's referring to?!_

Bursting through the gym, everyones attention in it snapped over to the two of you as you stood there, hand in hand. Seeing everyones eyes trail down to your hands--as they had been staring at the strings dangling down Ben's nose--you and Ben looked down at them before instantly letting go, casually walking off and over to where your bags had been.

Going to pick up his bag, Ben turned his head just as you had bent over, only to bite his inner cheek as he forced himself to look away. Shutting his eyes, he took a moment; _stupid pink laced underwear, why does she keep taunting me like this?_ Opening his eyes up once again as he stood up straight, slinging his bag over his shoulder as you had done the same before walking off, Ben sighed. _It isn't like she knows she's doing it..._

Quietly walking out of the gym as Ben had followed slowly behind, you couldn't help but feel bothered by the fact that you had let go of Ben's hand. _It's no big deal, it wasn't like Ben and I were holding hands for no reason._ Taking in a deep breath, you pushed your hair behind your ears as you walked on, knowing well enough Ben had to have been thinking the same.

 _Why did everyone have to look at us? I was enjoying holding her hand!_ "Are you going to study hall?" Ben asked as he broke the silence, rushing over to your side.

Nodding your head, you looked up at him for a split second as you suddenly felt too nervous to even bother to make eye contact, Ben noticing and smirking the slightest. "Uh...yeah, maybe...I mean, I have homework to do and what not so I think it'd be best."

"I totally think you should," Ben nodded. "I mean, since you're such a good person and wouldn't think about leaving your best friend alone in the library."

Sucking in your breath, you forced a smile. "Yeah, I mean, it's the least I can do since I busted your nose..." You chuckled as Ben smiled.

"Well...since you do owe me for being your ride to and from school..." He trailed on before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, leaning close to your ear, "It would be lovely for you to join me in study hall." Gulping as your heart skipped a beat, Ben slid away as he walked on ahead of you with a sly smirk on his face, leaving you speechless.

Pressing your hand against your chest as you felt it throb, you mumbled to yourself, "Dammit, Solo..."

. . .

Finding yourself completely enthralled in your studies for once, you were amazed how this was going on just fine seeing as you were sitting next to Ben. It wasn't your smartest move, but it sort of happened subconsciously, so when you had realized Ben's knee was brushing up against your own, your concentration went out the window. Why were you freaking out over his stupid knee brushing up against your own? Snapping your focus back onto your homework, Ben shifted his knee, feeling it brush up against yours once again as you let out a small breath, your knee socks sliding down the slightest.

Was he doing this on purpose or was he totally oblivious to the fact?

Reaching down to fix your sock, your knuckles rubbed against Ben's leg as you sucked in your breath, feeling his eyes on you. "Sorry, I'm trying to fix my sock..." Pushing your chair back just enough as you quickly fixed your sock, you slid your seat back in as you leaned your elbows on the table, hands on your cheek as you had no will to look at Ben.

"It's fine," He smiled, "Like you said, my legs are long so I'm sorry if they keep getting in the way." Seeing that you didn't even bother to look at him, Ben bit his bottom lip.

"It's-it's okay...it's better this way, if I sat across from you I'm sure I'd be in the way of you stretching out your legs." You nodded, coming up with an excuse as to why you naturally sat right next to Ben rather than across.

"Just let me know if I'm bothering you, alright?" Seeing you nod your head again, Ben smiled as he crossed his arms behind his head, casually sliding back in his seat as his legs spread further apart just enough for his knee to push up against your own even more.

Swallowing, you swiftly stood up to sit on the one leg that kept brushing against Ben's, causing him to frown as his hands fell down from where they were. As much as he enjoyed the teasing, reality liked to smack him in the back of his head to remind him that you were _not_ his. So he let it be, appreciating the simple fact that at least for the next hour or so he was going to be able to sit right next to you. It was better than nothing.

Not realizing how quick the time had gone by as you had actually finished your homework on time, surprised how Ben not once bothered you, the dismissal bell had rung as Ben stood up from his spot. "I'll meet you by my car, I have to change for work." Looking up at him as he smiled over at you, you nodded as you watched him walk away.

Gathering your things and putting them into your bag, you stood up and made your way towards the library entrance, only to be stopped. "Y/n!" Turning around, your eyebrows knitted, seeing one of the freshman cheerleaders run up to you. "Hey, you're friends with Ben, right?"

"Well, I mean, I wasn't just sitting next to some guy I didn't know..." You chuckled as you looked at her.

"Yeah, whatever." Arching an eyebrow as she swatted a hand, the girl continued on, "What's his type?"

"His type...what?" You leaned back the slightest.

"Type in girls, duh!" She laughed as your eyebrows raised.

"Why...?"

"Well, he's really hot and you know--tall, dark, and mysterious kind of guy and ugh that's _so_ sexy so I wanted to know what his type was?"

Looking away as you tried not rolling your eyes, you looked back at her with an annoyed expression, "He isn't into younger girls, thats for sure. He would never date a freshman." At that, you turned on your heel and walked off, feeling your blood boil. Were you really that jealous? It isn't like you really knew what his type was since _you_ weren't it. "Ugh, that idiot." Rolling your eyes as you stormed off, you left the girl standing there with her jaw hanging loose.

"Ben!" Turning around as he had been folding up his dress shirt and putting it in his bag, he looked over his shoulder to see Poe. "Dude, what happened on the field?" Poe jogged over as Ben felt his face heat up.

"Oh, nothing, just got to distracted watching y/n do her flips-"

"Bullshit! We both know that's a lie!" Poe pointed a finger as Ben's eyes widened.

"What do you mean-"

"It's clear that you didn't get kicked in the face because you were watching her flip. You're not that stupid, Ben."

Gasping the slightest in offense, Ben pointed his finger. "Hey! I was really amazed, okay!"

"Yeah, amazed in her underwear-" Instantly covering Poe's mouth, Ben shushed him.

"Shut up, okay?!"

Shoving Ben's hands away, Poe laughed. "Aha! I knew it!"

"Whoa, hey, how would you even know?" Ben arched an eyebrow, instantly grabbing Poe's collar. "You're not checking her out, are you?!"

"First of all, if anyone had looked over there they could have seen her underwear, and second of all, I'm not the kind of guy who checks out some other guys girl." Poe smirked as he crossed his arms, only for Ben to smack the side of his head. "Hey?! Ow!"

"First of all, they have no right to look-" Seeing Poe arch an eyebrow, Ben rolled his eyes, "-and second of all, leave me alone!"

"You are such a sad, sad soul, Ben Solo." Poe shook his head. "You are lucky I consider you my best friend and that I care for you." Placing a hand on his chest, Poe nodded as Ben groaned. "So tell me, was the busted nose worth it?"

Lowly growling, Ben's eye twitched, "No because it's all I can think about now and it's carved into my fuckin' memory and it wasn't enough that I saw it once--no--I saw it _twice_!" Ben lifted up two fingers as Poe bursted out laughing.

"I swear you are such a dumbass...did she kick you in the balls the second time around?" Poe teased as Ben glared.

"No! She didn't even notice, alright? She was bending forward to grab her bag and I so happened to look up right there and then and she really needs to wear shorts under that because some sicko could really get turned on by that sight-"

"A sicko named Ben Solo?" Poe smirked, holding back a laugh.

"Shut up!" Shoving Poe back, Ben walked off. "I am _not_ a sicko!"

"Make sure Hux doesn't see you the next time you check his girl out! Maybe he'll actually break your nose!" Poe called out as Ben flipped him off.

"If anyone will be breaking noses, it'll be me breaking his first!" Waving his hand in the air, Ben left Poe's sight.

"Ben Solo, you son of a bitch," Poe chuckled as he shook his head, "You are so damn persistent, why did you have to leave in the first place?" Rubbing the back of his head, Poe turned around and walked on, wishing nothing but the best for his best friend.

Pushing past the school main doors, Ben rushed down the steps as he could see you leaning against his car, patiently waiting and causing Ben to grin. "Sorry, I don't give free rides." Ben spoke up as he walked over to you, you looking up and over at him, chuckling.

"Shut up," You shoved him, walking around to go to the passengers seat as Ben went to unlock the door. "The only thing I'm paying you with is my company and that should be enough." Seeing Ben open the door for you, you went into the car as he sighed.

Shutting the door, he muttered to himself, "You have no idea..."

. . .

"So you're telling me that you and your band don't aspire for anything more?" You asked as you looked over to Ben, his usual tape quietly playing in the background as he drove to the diner.

"Basically-"

"Why?! You guys are so talented and your music is so damn good!" You exclaimed as Ben chuckled.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm but seeing as how we are nothing but amateurs who actually have lives-"

"Seriously," You interrupted as you crossed your arms.

"Rude. Okay, we actually have other things to do and see the band as nothing but a past time, we really wouldn't make a living out of it." He shrugged as you frowned. "Sure, we get some money with the small gigs we do, but it's not like we'd make serious money."

"Whatever you say, _amateur_..." You rolled your eyes as Ben looked over at you for a moment, smiling.

"Sorry we all can't be the cheerleader with good grades and a boyfriend who's the class president miss perfect," Ben teased as you gasped, nudging his arm. "I am actually very proud that you are able to balance it all." He nodded as your mood slightly dropped, not because of him, but because reality had caved in.

"Yeah...about that..." Fiddling your thumbs as Ben parked his car in the diners lot, he looked over at you as his grin slowly fell.

"What is it?" He asked as you sighed.

"It isn't easy being me. Middle school me was so chill, I mean, in a bad way. I was always late, had average grades and didn't even try. I didn't want to continue being like that so the second high school came was the second I decided I'd grow up a little and be more responsible. With time, I took in more and more responsibilities that I thought I could handle without stressing myself out but I lied. It's exhausting, you know?" Looking over at him for a moment, you turned your head away and sighed. "I'm not that perfect girl everyone thinks I am. I'm always so damn tired from all the homework and extracurricular stuff I do, I feel like I don't even have time to breathe and be me."

"What do you mean?" Ben curiously asked as he studied you, seeing how your body grew tense while you leaned against the door, the side of your head pressed up against the window.

"I just..." Taking in a deep breath, you bit your bottom lip, "I just want to relax and not feel so damn overwhelmed all the time. I never imagined myself to be this busy at such a young age. I feel like I'm suffocating myself with all that I do and it's making me so worked up. I don't want to sound like a brat or anything, but it's hard sometimes and it really gets to you."

Seeing how your mood completely changed, Ben scooted over and pulled you into his chest. "You'll get through this, I know you will. You've been surviving and getting by this long that I'm sure you can keep going." Ben stated as he held you close, you shutting your eyes as you took in a shaky breath, truly appreciating the comfort and his compassion. "And if you ever need help, know that you've got me..." Nodding your head, Ben smiled. "And, of course, Rey and Finn and Poe." He chuckled as you smiled.

"Thanks, Ben." Wrapping your arms around him as you hugged him tightly, getting a whiff of his scent and suddenly wanting to smell more, you only stopped yourself as you leaned away. "Sorry to be a downer, but I just wish people didn't think I was all that perfect...I have my issues and what not like everyone else..." You muttered as Ben only gave you a wholehearted smile.

"I think, at least in my eyes, you are your own definition of perfect." He winked as you playfully rolled your eyes, shoving him back. "And it's okay to have your issues, like you said, we've all got 'em. What matters is that you go to someone for help instead of keeping it all in." Ruffling with your hair, you shoved Bens hand away as you went to fix it.

"Is that someone you?" You arched an eyebrow as Ben grinned, nodding his head. "You dork, you're lucky I consider you my best friend." Ruffling with his hair, Ben laughed, grabbing your waist and pushing you back.

"Hey, kid, only I can do that to you." Ruffling his hair even more, Ben moved his hands from your waist, up to your wrists as he held them. "You want problems, don't you?"

"It's only fair that I ruin your beautiful mane as you always do to mine," You chuckled as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I don't think you understand, I am the only one who can do it in this friendship," He nodded with a wink as you scoffed.

"Says who?!"

"Says me, that's who."

"I don't think you have that right..." Shaking your head stubbornly, Ben raised his eyebrows. "I can do what I want, Solo."

"I don't think you understand..." Holding both of your wrists in one hand, Ben lifted up a finger. "I am the only one who can mess up your hair, you can't touch mine, it's absolutely prohibited...and since you did, I'm just going to have to punish you."

"Ben, no." Seeing his finger slowly move to your rib cage, you gasped. "Ben, I swear I will kick you so hard in the balls if you tickle me!"

"We'll see about that-"

"Ben, I swear! I will kick you!" Jumping as Bens finger jabbed against your ribs, you were suddenly letting out fits of laughter as he rapidly moved his finger along your rib cage. "I-I-...I ha-hate you! S-so m-much!" Trying to pull your hands away, you thrashed around only for your knee to jerk up and hit him in the groin.

Instantly letting go as he fell forward, Ben's forehead was pressed against your chest as you tried catching your breath. "Ah, fuck...I didn't think you'd actually do it..." Groaning in pain, you hadn't realized the position you two were in until you looked down to see nothing but Ben's hair, causing you to freeze up.

"I-I warned you..." You stuttered, Ben slowly sitting up but failing, face colliding with your chest as you yelped.

Staying like that for a moment as you were too stunned and Ben was too embarrassed as the pain instantly lessened out from how stiff he grew, Ben gulped. As much as having his face stuffed up against your breasts was a fantasy, he didn't want it to be this way, especially when it broke boundaries and made him seem disrespectful.

"Hey! Do that elsewhere!" Someone knocked on the car window before storming off, causing you and Ben to jump.

"I-I am so sorry..." Ben gulped, sitting up, waving his hand. "I-I did not mean to-"

"It...it was an accident it's okay, I'm sorry I kicked you so hard." Nodding your head rapidly as your heart thud rather harshly against your chest from how anxious you had become, you sat up and grabbed your bag.

"I...we should go inside." Ben pointed, turning off his car as you nodded.

"Mhm, yeah..." Piling out of the car as Ben locked it, the two of you nervously walked side by side, over to the revolving doors.

"Benjamin Solo, where have you been?!" Seeing a small, angry, old woman storm Ben's way, your eyes widened. "It is half past-"

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry Maz it's just I-"

"You," Maz pointed the rolled up paper in her hand at you as you gulped, looking into her thick glasses as she stared up at you. "This is her, isn't it?"

"Huh?" Your eyebrows suddenly narrowed as Bens eyes widened, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Maz-"

"You are forgiven..." Maz turned to Ben as she pointed the paper, "This time around, now get to work!" Nodding his head, Ben looked at you for a moment before walking off, Maz smacking his butt with the rolled up paper before turning to you.

"It's my fault that Ben is late, I'm-"

"I know," Maz nodded as your eyebrows scrunched up. "Come, come, sit wherever you'd like!" Grabbing your arm and pulling you, you decided to sit in the far back booth near a wall that had an Audrey Hepburn poster on it, amongst a few other small frames of other actresses. "You are Ben's best friend, yes?"

"Y-yes..." You nodded.

"Whatever you want, it is on me," She winked with a smile.

"Oh, no, it's okay-"

"I insist, those who make Ben happy, make me happy." She nodded as you swallowed.

"O-okay...can-can-"

"I'll take her order!" Ben called out as he rushed over, Maz smiling.

"Good," Maz nodded before walking off.

"I'm sorry about her, she's a bit crazy." Ben sighed as you waved a hand.

"It-it's fine! She seems very nice!" You smiled as Ben Smiled back.

"Y-yeah...so, what would you like?" About to pull out his notepad, you simply spoke up.

"Just a strawberry milkshake." Looking over at you as you nodded with a grin, Ben placed his notepad back into his apron as he nodded back.

"You've got it." Rushing off, you let out a deep sigh before settling in your spot. You should get really used to moments like these, they seem to happen more and more frequently than ever before.

. . .

"Seeing as I'm on break, do you want me to drop you off back at my place?" Sipping on the last bit of your milkshake, Ben brought you a new one and placed it down as you quickly shook your head.

"N-no, its fine! I'll wait until your shift is over." You smiled as Bens heart throbbed.

"You sure? I have a few hours left-"

"It's okay with me, honestly, it's entertaining seeing you work." You winked as Ben's heart sank. "Plus, it's Friday and I honestly do not mind, this place is nice and Maz is great company!"

"Whatever you say," Taking a seat in front of you, the two of you had found yourselves enthralled in a conversation about music, Ben telling you all about the artists he listened to as you sat there with such an eager expression.

"I swear, that boy better win her heart and never break it..." Maz leaned against the counter as she spoke to one of the cooks as they leaned against the opening of the kitchen.

"If you ask me, that boy she had brought in with her a few days ago looked so boring...and too perfect if you ask me." He stated as Maz nodded in agreement.

"I couldn't agree more."

. . .

"I'll see you, later!" Ben called out to Maz as he hung up his apron, you gathering your things and pulling your bag over your shoulder as you had met up with Ben at the entrance of the diner.

"Y/n, you are more than welcomed to come and stay whenever you'd like!" Maz called out as you smiled, waving at her.

"Thank you, I will definitely take your offer!" Opening up the door for you, you walked out first as Ben soon followed behind, just after he looked at Maz and got a wink from her; after Ben had finished his break, Maz had pulled him aside as if she were about to scold him, only to tell him that " _you better win her heart_ " and leaving him at that.

"I'm disappointed, I thought I was going to see you tell off some customers." You frowned as Ben chuckled.

"I guess today was my lucky day, maybe you're my good luck charm." Pinching your cheek as he went to open your door, the two of you got into his car and were off.

The second you two had arrived to Bens house was a complete chaos, just as you were upstairs showering, you could hear Han scolding Ben from all the way downstairs. Quickly finishing up and drying yourself as you changed into sweats and a tank top, you slid on your slippers and made your way downstairs.

"Rey, what's going?" You asked.

"Ben here is being scolded for almost being put in jail, meanwhile dad has no idea how to punish Ben so he's making him stand on the counter and face the wall..."

"Wha-" Looking over, you covered your mouth, wanting to laugh but also feeling really bad.

"This is so stupid! What the hell, dad?! I didn't even get arrested-"

"Face the wall!" Han shouted as Ben groaned.

"Rey, I told you nothing happened!" You whispered to her.

"It accidentally slipped, okay!" She whispered back as you rolled your eyes.

"Han, what are you doing?!" Leia called out. "Ben, get down from there!"

"At least someone isn't crazy!" Ben shouted as he hopped off the counter, turning around and seeing you there, almost forgetting you had been staying over and suddenly feeling so embarrassed.

"Dammit, Han, this isn't how you punish the children! You made him look like a fool in front of his crush!" Leia whispered over to Han as Ben's face grew red.

"Is everything alright?" You asked Ben as you had walked over to him, seeing him nod.

"Y-yeah...I-I just...want to watch a movie?" Trying act like nothing had happened just a few seconds ago, Ben forced a smile as you slowly nodded.

"S-sure..."

"Why don't we all watch a movie." Leia nodded, Rey groaning as Han rolled his eyes, Leia glaring at the two as they immediately made their way over to the couch. Sitting in between Ben and Rey as Han sat beside Leia on their own couch, watching some movie Han had decided to pick since he was 'forced to be there.'

"I can barely hear anything!" Han spoke up.

"That's because you're old," Rey teased.

"Watch it." Han pointed a finger.

"Just put the subtitles on," Leia spoke up.

"I don't have the remote, Ben does." Rey responded.

Not paying attention to the conversation as he was too caught up in the film, you decided to do it yourself, going to grab the remote only to grab something instead.

Growing wide eyed when you realized what you had been grasping onto, Ben whimpered as your heart sank, surpassing your feet. "Ben, this movie isn't even that sad." Han spoke up as Ben stared back at you, eyes just as wide as your own as you gulped, quickly letting go of his crotch as your stomach turned.

"I-I'm going to bed," You announced, quickly standing up and walking off as Ben watched, frowning at the sight of you leaving.

"Oh, alright, goodnight sweetie!" Leia called out as Han simply waved, too engrossed into the movie.

"Yeah, this movie sucks anyways." Rey added as she stood up and left.

Pouting to himself, Ben was slightly disappointed that you had let go and fully disappointed that you had left. _I shouldn't have liked that, that was an accident you fucking sicko!_

Rushing up the steps and going into Rey's room, your stomach filled up with butterflies as you took in deep breaths. First he grabbed your boob, then he face-planted into your chest, now this? In the span of two days you and Ben had a lot more action going on than you and Hux had in the three to four years you two had been together. "I'm going to die..." You mumbled as you slammed your palm against your forehead.

As much as you hated to admit it, the thought of it was quite exciting and the fact that hearing Ben whimper made you the slightest of turned had said so much that you _knew_ you had to go.

The question was, how long was this going to keep happening? And who was going to break first?


	11. Even In My Dreams, I Can't Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Even In My Dreams, I Can't Win by Bad Suns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben and reader are slight pervs (again) at the beginning, but it really isn't all their fault...

Sitting with his back pressed up against the couch as his attention was set on the TV screen, Ben had his arm spread out on the top of the couch as you had sat next to him, legs crossed along with your arms as you watched the movie playing. Slightly turning your head to look at Ben, you smirked as you realized how enthralled he had been in the film, only to trail your eyes down his chest, then to his hips where the waist band of his sweats wrapped around. Taking in a deep breath as you bit your bottom lip, your hand lied up on his knee as Ben's hearted skipped a beat, looking over, seeing your head facing ahead.

Gulping, Ben looked down at your hand, only to see it slowly trailing up has leg, brushing against his crotch as his breath hitched. Bitting his inner lip, your hand gently rubbed against it as Ben's breathing began to quicken, you only surprising him as you gave him a squeeze, hearing a small whimper leaving his now parted lips. "Fuck..." He whispered as you smirked, hand moving up to his waist band as you tugged it back.

Looking over at him as Ben's eyes fluttered closed as your hand slid down his pants, his eyes suddenly shot open to the sight of his ceiling, sweat trickling down his forehead. "Fucking dream..." He groaned, rubbing his face as he removed the covers off of his bare chest, taking in deep breaths. If he had stayed in the dream any longer he would've had to change his boxers.

Heavily panting in your sleep as you tossed and turned on the air mattress, you tried and tried your damnedest to wake yourself up, afraid your dream was only going to get worse. "Come on, Ben..." You chuckled, straddling him as your hand moved up and down against the material of his underwear. "You can't already be this worked up when I've barely done anything!" Trailing your finger along his jaw, you got a hold of his chin. "Open your eyes..."

Seeing him shake his head, you rolled your eyes. "Come on, Ben..." Brushing your thumb against his bottom lip, you leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I want to see you-"

Gasping, you sat up on the air mattress and rubbed your face, feeling exceedingly guilty. "Why, me?" Standing up from the mattress as you took in small, deep breaths, you quietly walked out of Rey's room, heading down the stairs to get water.

Making your way down the last steps and rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you hadn't realized someone was already in the kitchen until your eyes landed on Ben's bare back, standing there in nothing but boxers. "I'm sorry!" You instantly turned around, Ben nearly jumping at the sound of your voice as he saw you standing there, back facing him. If it wasn't for the fact that Ben had seen you once before in your pajamas, he was sure his situation would be far more worse--but it still didn't help that you slept in silk shorts and tank tops that fit you just perfectly.

"It's fine." He swallowed, only to realize he was just in his boxers. "Oh, oh! _I'm_ sorry..." He awkwardly chuckled as you turned around and felt your face heat up.

"You look fine-I-I mean it's fine, you know...I'm used to it since I have twin older brothers who love walking around in nothing but their boxers..." You swatted a hand with a shrug as Ben nodded, shyly smiling.

"I just, I needed to get some water...I had a-a nightmare." _You could call it that._

Growing wide eyed, you raised your eyebrows. "Oh, haha, funny...so did I." Nodding your head, Ben handed you an empty glass for you to get water.

"What was yours about?" He curiously asked as he leaned his back against the counter, drinking his water.

"Oh, uh..." Unsure of what to say, you said whatever first came to mind. "Just...just zombies."

"Zombies?" Ben arched an eyebrow. "You're afraid of zombies?" He chuckled.

"Well, you know, when your friends and family turn into them, it really isn't a lovely sight." Turning around, you sipped your water.

"I guess..." Looking over as he drank the last bit of his water, he placed the now empty glass in the sink.

"What was yours?" You asked, leaning against the fridge.

"Oh, well, you see..." Scratching the back of his head, Ben awkwardly chuckled. " _Zombies_."

Narrowing your eyes, you glared, "Haha, very funny, Ben."

"What?! I'm serious!" He shrieked as you rolled your eyes, walking over to him and pinching his belly. "Ow, hey..."

"What was it _really_?" You asked, drinking your water.

"Okay, it was about you." Furrowing your eyebrows, you slowly moved the brim of the cup away from your lips. "You see, we were being chased by this serial killer--sort of like Michael Myers--and we were running hand in hand but somehow he was too fast and got a hold of you and took you away."

"You didn't try to get me back?" You shook your head as Ben lifted up a finger.

"I did, but the guy ended up killing you before I could." He frowned.

"What a bummer..." You sighed.

"Tell me about it, you and I were on a really nice date." Walking past you as your jaw dropped, Ben smirked. "The damn son of a bitch had to ruin date night." Watching him walk over to the stairs, you quickly chugged your water and placed it in the sink.

"N-no way! Cause in my dream, you and I were the only two still alive!" You lied as Ben turned around on the first step of the staircase.

"Seriously?" He grinned as you nodded. "That's crazy."

"Y-yeah, and it was weird because it was like the human race depended on us," You eagerly nodded as Ben slightly smirking.

"Well, I'm glad it was you and I and not you and Hux, that would've been awful." He winked before turning around and walking back up the steps, leaving you there as you gulped.

For some reason, deep down inside, you couldn't help but agree with his statement. "So am I..." Turning off the kitchen light, you went back up the stairs and to Rey's room. Was there truly any _real_ reason as to why you had to lie to Ben to _that_ extent? _Of course not._

. . .

"Jeez, do yo usually sleep for fourteen hours?" Rey asked as you were slowly waking up, the first thing to pop up in your line of vision was her face as she had bent forward, hands pressed against her knees while she watched you wake up. "I thought that y/n stayed back in middle school?"

Stretching, you blinked as you tried adjusting to the brightness in her room. "What time is it?"

Looking over to her alarm clock, Rey raised her eyebrows. "Half past twelve-"

"WHAT?!" You shot up in your spot, instantly getting light headed. "Twelve-thirty? Aw, damn..." Sighing, you rubbed your face.

"What happened? Were you _that_ exhausted? You didn't seem like it..." Standing up straight, Rey crossed her arms behind her head as she stretched.

"Uh, yeah...school's beating me up!" You lied, nodding your head as Rey did the same but slowly. "I also was still adjusting to sleeping elsewhere, so it took me a bit to knock out..."

"Seriously? I went to use the bathroom an hour into sleep and you were knocked out." Watching her walk over to her now fixed bed as she sat on it, you let out a small huff.

"Well, I woke up here and there and it took me a bit to fall back asleep." You lied once again as Rey nodded.

"I see, well, since you're up super late and since Ben surprisingly hasn't woken up either, mom saved you two breakfast in the microwave." Standing up from your spot as you went over to your bags, grabbing your necessities for the bathroom before walking into it.

"Thanks, I'll go down in a bit." At that, you shut the door behind you. Had you really overslept? The last time you had done that was probably a few years back when you went to your first concert that ended up being on a Tuesday night. That Wednesday morning you had slept through all your alarms and managed to wake up halfway through the day. Other than that, the most you've ever slept on a daily basis was probably seven hours at max and you absolutely hated it. "It would be so nice to go back to the days of sleeping in whenever I wanted without a worry..." You spoke to yourself, toothbrush hanging from being held between your teeth as you pulled your hair back.

The older you got, the more exhausting life was getting for you--mentally _and_ physically--and you were amazed as to how you were still holding up.

"Hey, I really hate to do this to you, but I have change in plans!" Rey called out the second you had walked out of the bathroom, feeling more refreshed and less grouchy. "Finn and I wanted to do some last minute rehearsals on our own for tomorrows competition!" Stopping in your tracks as you watched Rey walked back and forth, gathering her things, Rey only stopped and mumbled to herself as if she were trying to find something.

"That's fine, I was planning on checking my house out and possibly go to the mall." You nodded as Rey nearly shouted.

"AHA!" She held the guitar pick up. "Sorry, Finn needed to borrow one, he lost all of his somehow." Sticking the pick in her pocket, she turned to look at you with narrowed eyes. "Wait...all alone?"

Shrugging, you walked over to slide your feet into your slippers as you pulled your robe on. "Yeah, it's no big deal, I've gone alone to the mall plenty of times and have ran into a bunch of people I know almost each time...so it's no bother."

"Do you just take the bus?" Rey questioned as you nodded.

"Sometimes I go with some of the girls from cheerleading or with Natasha, but other than that, on my own in the bus if my mom can't take me or will let me use her car--which is never." You sighed, walking towards the door of the room. "But I could use some me time!" Smiling over to Rey as she lightly smiled back, you opened the door and walked out.

"Oh, y/n...don't you ever change on me." Rey whispered to herself, only to find herself going back to find another pick in case Finn had lost the one she brought.

Walking past Ben's room and taking a deep breath, you continued down the hallway, then the stairs, only to be greeted the second you step foot on the first floor. "Good morning, or should I say afternoon, y/n." Leia smiled over to you as she walked past the staircase. "I'm sure Rey told you there's food in the microwave."

"Yes she did, and good afternoon!" You smiled back before heading to the kitchen. By now, Rey's house was like your second home with the amount of times you've been and stayed over. But now that Han and Ben were back, it felt like the process of getting used to her placed started over again. "Hi, Jup!" You nearly squealed as you crouched down, seeing Jupiter walk up to you and meow the lightest. "I barely saw you yesterday, were you hiding from Kylo?" You arched an eyebrow, only to hear her hiss as you rolled your eyes, already knowing as to why.

Turning around, you saw Kylo creeping up, only to dart over to you as Jupiter ran off. "Dammit, Kylo." You sighed, seeing the cat rub against you as he meowed. "You're lucky you're cute." Standing back up as you went to get your food, Kylo followed you around the kitchen as you went to get a fork along with a cup of juice, setting your breakfast up on the table, only to look up and see Ben walking over--this time with sweatpants and a shirt--as he held Jupiter? "How?!"

Petting Jupiter, Ben only looked up and arched his eyebrow. "How, what?"

"How are you holding her? She doesn't let anyone but myself hold her... _how_?" You whispered the last word, walking over to him as Ben smirked.

"I must be a cat whisperer." Looking up at him and rolling your eyes, you shook your head. "I could ask you the same since Kylo adores the hell out of you." Nudging his head over to Kylo, you looked down to see the all black cat sitting there, meowing at you.

"No, he's following me because he has a crush on Jupiter and is trying to get at her." You sighed. "Seeing as Jupiter is always around me, he latches onto me..." Smiling as you hatched an idea, you lifted up a finger, "But...since Jupiter really likes you now, Kylo might as well follow you instead." You nodded as Ben's eyebrows narrowed.

"I don't think-" Cutting himself off, Ben grinned. "You're probably right...welp, I guess Jupiter is mine now." Gasping as Ben walked past you, you grabbed his free arm.

"Hey, whoa, she's mine. You already have two pets, buddy!" Pointing over to Chewie (who lied by the sliding glass door), you grabbed Jupiter from Ben's hold. Frowning, Ben watched you take a seat as you placed Jupiter on your lap.

"But Chewie doesn't do anything and Kylo hates me!" Ben whined.

" _Semi_ , you mean." You corrected as Ben rolled his eyes. "As far as I'm seeing, he hasn't done anything to you yet." Shrugging, Ben only narrowed his eyes at you.

"Key word, _yet_."

"Oh, shut up and eat your breakfast." Swatting a hand as Ben sighed, you began eating as Jupiter lied on your lap, Kylo sitting on the floor inches away and staring up at her.

Heating up his food, Ben turned and leaned against the counter as he eyed you, seeing you there casually eating as Jupiter stuck out her paw to tease Kylo, the black cat trying to reach out only for Jupiter to pull her paw away. Quietly laughing to himself, Ben shook his head at the sight, wishing as if this was what he was able to wake up to for the rest of his life.

"Aren't you going to get that?" You spoke up, interrupting Ben's daydream as he instantly stood up straight and turned around to get his food.

Gazing outside the glass doors that sat parallel to you, presenting the backyard, your attention only shifted over to Ben as he had sat down next to you. "So, what are you up to this fine Saturday?" He curiously asked.

Drinking your juice, you shrugged the slightest. "Well, I have to check up on my house and after that I was planning on going to the mall." You stated as Ben nodded.

"Is Rey going with you?" Ben asked as he began eating.

"No, she has last minute plans with Finn so I thought I'd go by myself." You lightly smiled as Ben looked over at you, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"Alone?" Thinking about how you never mentioned Hux, Ben kept that thought to himself. "You shouldn't have to go alone, that's no fun."

"It's fine..." You looked away. "I've done it plenty of times before-" Frowning at your words, Ben watched as you messed with your food. "-I mean, it's no big-"

"I'll go with you!" Ben exclaimed as your eyes widened from the sudden outburst. "It'll be great, you know, hanging out somewhere that isn't school or our houses." He nodded eagerly as a wide grin grew on your face, instantly looking over at Ben.

"Really?! I-I mean, I don't want to ruin your plans if you have any..."

Smiling at you, Ben shook his head. "I barely have plans unless it's work or hanging with the band or Poe, but I'd gladly hangout with you."

Feeling your stomach fill up with butterflies, you looked down at your food, trying to fight your smile from showing even more. "I appreciate it."

"That's what best friends are for!" He ruffled your hair as you instantly sighed. "Come on, let's hurry up and eat since half of the day is already gone." Chugging his juice as you nodded, the two of you scarfed down your breakfast before heading your separate ways to shower and change.

Quickly rushing into the bathroom and undressing yourself, putting your pajamas to a side, you were way too excited to even bother locking the bathroom door as you instantly jumped into the shower--just how Ben had on his end; this not being the smartest idea you two came up with because the second you were busy washing yourself, and the second Ben was doing the same, something went completely haywire on your end.

Humming to yourself as you showered, a sudden domino affect of weird noises came from the shower drain and the pipes, scaring the living daylight out of you as you shrieked at the top of your lungs. Hearing the sudden commotion, Ben instantly shut the shower off and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist and running to Rey's room.

Covering your ears as the noise went on, Ben shoved past the bathroom door--not realizing it had been unlocked--and calling out. "Are you okay?!"

"AHHH!" You yelled, clutching onto your chest as your heart wasn't taking it.

"I'm sorry! I heard yelling and thought something happened-" Seeing you peak your head out as you held onto the shower curtain, you took in a deep breath.

"I-I am fine...on the other hand, I don't know about the shower." Gulping as you had been panting, you were too busy trying to calm down, not realizing Ben was in front of you in nothing but a towel hanging dangerously loose from his waist as his body dripped with water from head to toe. _Now is not the time to drool or fantasize._

Hearing the awful noise, Ben narrowed his eyes. "How about we get out and tell my dad." He nodded, grabbing your towel and handing it to you as you nodded, going behind the curtain and wrapping yourself in it after you had shut the water off. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's fine, just a mild heart attack." Swatting your hand, Ben stuck out his own to help you get out of the shower as he didn't want you slipping, trying his best not to gawk at the sight of you in just a towel. On either end, both of you were suffering.

"So you two decided to shower at the same time?" Nodding your heads as you and Ben stood side by side, outside the bathroom while Han looked at the shower, you slightly shivered as Ben casually stood there with his hands on his hips. "I'd call you dumbasses but y/n isn't one."

"Wow, thanks dad." Ben said with a straight face.

Smiling at Han's somewhat compliment, you lightly chuckled. "Thank you, Han." Looking down at you and seeing you bite your lip, Ben rolled his eyes in disgust--how could he forgot, not too long ago did you admit his dad was _attractive_.

"Okay, how come _I_ am the dumbass?" Ben asked as he crossed his arms.

"Because you almost got arrested, dumbass-"

"It was one time! One! Time! And it wasn't even my fault!" Ben exclaimed as your smile turned into a frown, knowing very well it was pretty much your fault since you never went to open the door for Ben.

Looking down at you as he noticed how you were now frowning, his eyes widened the slightest at his own statement, realizing it made it seem like he was blaming you. Nudging you with his elbow, Ben give you a reassuring smile, only for you to smile back. Of course he didn't mean to make you upset, if anything all he wanted was for you to be happy.

"Mhm, I bet." Han hummed as you had nearly forgotten you were still just in your towel, shivering.

Seeing your body tremble as you rubbed your own arms, Ben went to pull you into a hug, only for you to arch an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

Instantly removing his hands as Han looked over, Ben quickly apologized. "I-I, I was-I'm sorry I was just trying to warm you..." Rolling his eyes at his own son, Han turned his attention back to the shower.

"We should probably change..." You stated, looking away as you grew nervous.

"Oh, yeah..." Ben nodded, only to grab your arm before you walked off. "Wait, since you never got to shower you could use mine."

"But you didn't shower either? Shouldn't you go first?" You asked as Ben waved a hand.

"It's fine, I don't mind waiting, plus...you're cold and it'll warm you up." Ben smiled as you grinned back, quickly grabbing your things and rushing out to Ben's bathroom.

"You sicko!" Han shouted as he turned to face his son. "You don't just invite a girl to join you in the shower!"

"I-I didn't invite her to join me!" Ben shouted back. "I told her she can use it since she was freezing! God, dad, do you even listen?!" Throwing his hands up, Ben stormed out.

"And where are you going?! You can't just go to your room when a girls in it!" Han called out.

"For fucks sake she's in the bathroom! I'm not about to go in and do anything to her-"

"Well you barged into the bathroom when she was showering just now!" Han retorted as he walked out of Rey's room.

"That's because she screamed!" Rubbing his face, Ben sighed. "I can not do this." About to walk down the stairs, Han spoke up again.

"You can't just walk about butt naked-"

"I have a towel on, dad." Ben spoke through gritted teeth.

"I don't care, get back into your room and change or something." Han swatted his hand as Ben groaned, trudging past his father and over to his room, tired of his fathers nonsense.

Shutting his bedroom door behind him, Ben mumbled to himself in annoyance about how he couldn't possibly understand his father and his ways of parenting. Completely forgetting you were using his shower as he was too busy ranting to himself, Ben pulled off his towel and tossed it on his bed, pulling on his briefs as he went to his closet for something to wear.

Lucky for you, you didn't have much to clean up as you had done most of it before, so the second you were done was the second you stepped out and dried yourself. Quickly changing into your outfit for the day, you opened up the bathroom door to see Ben standing there in nothing but his underwear.

For a moment, your breath hitched the slightest as your eyes widened, unable to make a sound at the sight of an almost bare Ben. Gulping as you tried not staring at his ass, you slowly backed up into the bathroom and quietly closed the door before he could notice you were even out.

Leaning against the door as you took in deep breaths, eyes shut as you muttered to yourself how that wasn't anything to freak out over, you only felt your heart racing. _I can't feel this way, this is bad, so bad! Stop thinking about his butt!_

Finally pulling out a pair of black jeans and a grey tee, Ben haphazardly tugged them on before getting socks. Sitting on his bed to slide them on, Ben began tying his Vans laces as you peeked out, slowly opening the door only to sigh in relief. "Thank you for the shower!" You smiled as you went to walk out.

"Anytime, seeing as you probably will have to use it from now on." Slowly turning to face him as you were aiming to the bedroom door, you swallowed hard.

"R-really?" Seeing him nod, your heart sank. Did this mean you were going to see Ben in his underwear a lot more often? Or worse, full blown naked?

Feeling yourself wanting to faint, you took in a deep breath before walking out. "We can head out in five minutes!" Ben called out to you as you nodded. How were you going to survive the next eight days?


	12. TiO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: TiO by Zayn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess what? more pervy ben/reader!

"I would like to warn you in advance that I live up to the term 'shop till you drop'. It's very unhealthy and half of the time I have to return things because it's just way too much, so maybe you'll help me out and stop me from buying the whole store." You smiled up at Ben as the two of you had walked up the entrance. The second you step foot into the mall was the second you tugged Ben with you. "Perfect! Forever 21 is right there!" You shrieked, pulling him with you as Ben sighed. Little did he know this was going to go on for the next couple of hours.

Following you around like the lost puppy he seemed to be, Ben's eyebrows narrowed at the sight of the pile of clothing in your hold, you trying to reach for a pair of shoes only for Ben to stop you. "Okay, wait a second. First of all, you seriously can't buy all of that-"

"Ben, I'm going to try it all on, see what I do and don't like!" You stated matter-of-factly, lifting your chin up as the clothing nearly blocked your view.

"As I was saying, you seriously can not try all of that and expect to do the rest of the mall when you've been in here for over an hour already." Ben crossed his arms as you sighed. "Come on, narrow it down a bit." He waved a hand, grabbing the pile from your grip and laying it down on a nearby table. "Alright, I'm gonna lift one up and you have to say 'yes' or 'no'."

"But, Ben, that's hard! I want to try them-"

"Fine, then I'll decide." Pushing you to aside as you frowned, Ben's back blocked your view as he began separating the clothes, you trying to peak only for him to stick an arm out to prevent you each and every time. "This can stay...this is fine...this definitely has to go, that's an awful color."

"Ben!" You whined, only for him to hold you back with one arm, practically pressing you up against his own back. "This is so uncool..." Having the side of your face squashed up against his back, you sighed.

"To think I may just have to do this with every store you go to-"

"No! No, no! I promise you will _not_ have to do that seeing as this store is the biggest out of them all!" Nodding as if he could see you, Ben only snickered. It was clearly he was only doing this to tease you.

"Jeez, you have way too much color going on in this not one single thing is black!" Ben exclaimed. "I am highly offended."

Rolling your eyes, you sighed. "I'm pretty sure there's something grey in there."

"If there is you bet I'll let you try it on, too much pastels going on, you're too lively."

Gasping at his statement, you narrowed our eyes. "Sorry I'm not dead like you, Batman."

"I will take that as a compliment seeing as Batman is quite the superhero-"

"I'm not calling you a hero you dumb-"

"I mean, I can see the similarities in the two of us, we both-"

"Shut up, shut up, you are not Batman!" You exclaimed as Ben smirked, knowing very well he was getting you worked up for nothing.

"But you legit just called me Batman two seconds ago-"

"Hush, you're more of the penguin if anything!" Instantly letting you go as Ben turned around, his jaw hung loose while his eyes were wide from sudden offense.

"How dare you! I am not creepy!" Ben pointed a finger as you scoffed, trying not to laugh.

"You sure about that? I don't know, you did grab my-"

"Hey!" He instantly cut you off, not wanting to hear anymore. "I am not the penguin, anyone _but_ the penguin."

"Fine, you can be Loki." You sighed as Ben glared down at you.

"Loki isn't even DC!" Throwing his hands up, Ben groaned. "I don't want to be Loki."

Shaking your head, you pushed him aside to grab the pile of clothing Ben had left for you. "You're Snape then." You winked up at him as you walked by, Ben's shoulders slumping as he watched you.

"I definitely am not Snape. If I'm Snape then...then you're Umbridge!" Ben pointed his finger, causing you to slowly turn around and shoot a look at him.

"How dare you-"

"You like cats and you like pink! Hah, you _are_ Umbridge." Scoffing, you turned around and walked off, leaving him behind. "Hey, wait! Hey! I was just kidding! Y/n, don't leave me behind!"

. . .

No thanks to your indecisive soul and the fact that you had loved nearly everything you had tried on, you sighed, unable to decide on wether or not to keep or leave something. Looking in the mirror as you eyed the jeans you were wearing, you instantly came up with an idea, eyes widening as you then bolted out of the dressing room. "Ben!" You called out, seeing him sitting just outside in the waiting area.

"Yeah?" He looked up from his phone, only for you to rush over and grab his hand, pulling him with you as he looked at you with a baffled expression. "What's going on?"

"You're the tie breaker, I can't decide on anything so I need you to decide for me--by the way, the stuff you picked was absolutely perfect." You smiled over at him, coming to a stop at your dressing area. "Also, I noticed how you snuck in these black skinnies and I'm really loving them. So what do you think?" Standing in front of you as you turned around, showing him the jeans, Ben gulped.

 _Do not stare at her ass._ "They, they look great on you!" His voice nearly cracked, eyes staring directly at your behind. _I said don't stare you perv!_ "I'm glad you like them because you need a pair." He quickly averted his eyes as you turned back around, giving him a smile.

"And the shirt?" You asked, pointing at the pale pink top you were wearing.

Shrugging, Ben crossed his arms. "It's nice, I guess." Rolling your eyes, you pinched his arm before going back to change into something else.

"Okay, and this?" Walking out in jean shorts and a crop top, Ben sucked in his breath.

"The...the shirt looks nice." He nodded, his breathing suddenly becoming erratic.

"What about the shorts?" You slightly frowned.

"Well, seeing as-as fall is almost here there really is no need for shorts..." He nodded, feeling as if he had been holding his breath while his heart fluttered.

"Oh, right! Okay, no shorts!" Going back in and changing into something else, Ben exhaled. Rubbing his face, his stomach turned. _How long am I going to have to go through this?_

"Y/n, please tell me this is the last one..." Ben whined as you rolled your eyes, changing back into your clothes as you felt the slightest of bad, having Ben see you try on multiple outfits. But, in all honesty, you were enjoying it.

Opening up the curtain and carrying the items you were going to buy--which ended up being just the jeans and the crop top--everything else, which was practically a good ten more items, stayed behind. "You're good, thanks for the help." You smiled up at him while walking past, Ben sighing in relief as he followed you behind. It didn't help that his body heat was rising with every outfit you tried on, he was afraid he was going to explode by the time you went to the next store.

"So what's next?" He asked as you two waited in line for the register.

"Hmm...I think we have H&M, but I may be wrong." You nodded as Ben lightly swallowed, he knew what he was in for, and as much as he was going to enjoy you practically modeling outfits, he was going to end up having a cardiac arrest.

"How lovely..."

"I will limit myself this time!" You waved a hand as Ben tilted his head the slightest. "What, I swear!"

And that, you truly didn't. Ben had to do another round of shortening up your options while holding you back again, you whining the whole time whereas Ben ignored you. "It isn't my fault you lied!"

"Did you honestly believe me? Ben!" You groaned.

"I can't believe you, we're just gonna have to go window shopping instead-"

Gasping, you shook your head. "No, no-no! Please!"

"Then limit yourself. As much as I hate being this way, I don't need you spending all your damn money." Picking up the pile Ben separated for you, he grabbed your hand with his free one. "And knowing you, you have dozens of other stores to attend."

Opening your mouth to say something, you couldn't even retort his statement, simply closing your mouth and frowning. "Aw, what a nice boyfriend!"

Looking up, your eyes widen at the older woman taking care of the dressing room. "H-huh?"

"Honey, if he's holding your clothes and your hand, he's a keeper." She winked at you as you blinked, Ben blushing as tried his best not to smile.

"Yes, I hope you don't mind I join her, she usually asks for my opinion." Ben smiled as he spoke up, your heart instantly skipping a beat.

"I shouldn't, but since you are so sweet, why not." She nodded. "Pick any room!" Waving her hand, Ben swiftly walked off with you as your heart throbbed.

"Ben, what the hell?" Looking up at him as he walked into one of the dressing rooms and lied down your clothes, he let go of your hand and smiled. "It isn't funny..."

"Yes it is, live a little!" He swiped his finger under your chin as you frowned the slightest. "Do you need my help on making decisions?" He asked as he walked out, turning around and waiting for a response as you slowly nodded.

"...Yes."

"Good, I'll be out here." He winked, closing the door as you let out a deep breath. How was he so timid one second only to be completely outgoing the next? You weren't sure if you'd ever understand the man Ben Solo has come to be.

. . .

"Okay, I promise you I have one more stop and then we can go anywhere you'd like." You nodded, walking alongside Ben as he held your bags for you.

"And where would that be?" Ben asked just as you came to a stop in front of a store entrance, grinning up at him as he arched an eyebrow.

"Now, it's okay if you don't want to come in, but it's all up to you!" You nodded as Ben turned his head over to see nothing but lingerie and the big Victoria Secrets sign.

Gulping, his heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach. "It's...it's fine, I'll go with you, I rather not wait outside like a loner anyways." He simply shrugged as you smiled, turning around and walking in. Taking in a deep breath, he shut his eyes for a moment before reopening them. "Is this some sort of torture? What have I done wrong to deserve this?" Mumbling to himself, he only followed you after.

Although it was nothing seeing all the lingerie surrounding him--if he had been alone at least--but with you by his side, it felt like nothing but fantasies were playing out in his head and he wanted nothing but to smack himself.

"There's so much!" You shrieked. "I need new bras, that's for sure." You pointed a finger, walking off as Ben stood there, staring at different sets of lingerie, swallowing the lump in his throats as he felt himself growing hot.

"Uh...you take your-your time..." Reaching up to stretch out the collar of his shirt, he took in deep breaths while you nearly ran around, picking out multiple bras from different sections.

"There's a sale on underwear...I could get some, too..." You muttered as Ben had slowly followed you around, keeping quiet as his mind was in another world that he did not want to reveal to you. It didn't help that almost everything he saw he wanted to buy for you.

Rushing back and forth from section to section as Ben had found himself completely out of it, unable to even breathe right--let alone--keep from constantly colliding with you every time you came to an abrupt stop, Ben quickly pulled out his phone.

 _Save me_.

Sending the message to Poe and waiting, he stood there, eagerly tapping his foot as he tried his best to distract himself with anything on his phone. "Ben!" You called out as you had moved to another section. "I need your help!"

Instantly shooting his head up, Ben gulped. "Ye-yeah?"

"I know I shouldn't go to you for this as you don't know a thing about bras...but since you're all I've got, which one do you think is better." Lifting up the two bras in either index finger as the strap hung from them, Ben sucked in his breath. How the hell was he supposed to choose what bra you should get when _any_ and _none_ looked good on you--or so his perverted mind like to imagine.

"Uh..." Eyeing the two in your hold as you simply smiled at him, he swallowed the newfound lump in his throat--eyeing the two bralettes. "I...uh-"

"It's okay if you have no-"

"No! I think you should buy that one!" He pointed at the black one, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Of course you'd choose the black over the burgundy." Placing the burgundy down, Ben took in a deep breath as he watched you walk on.

"So...is-is that it?" He nervously rubbed the back of his neck as you looked over your shoulder and smirked.

"Ben, we've only been here for half an hour..." Letting out a small chuckle, Ben awkwardly laughed back. "But, seeing as this store is very expensive, I think I should stop looking." Looking back ahead as you continued walking, Ben sighed. He wasn't sure how he wasn't flat on the ground when his knees were exceedingly weak at this point.

"Are you going to try those on?" A woman asked as you were heading to the register.

Looking down at the bras in your hold, you were about to shake your head until Ben spoke up. "Yeah, she should so she can decide on which to keep and which to leave." He smiled over at you as you frowned--you didn't think he'd take the whole 'be careful I'm a shopaholic' thing seriously.

"That's fine, you can come try them on and your boyfriend can wait right outside the room." Snapping your head over at the lady as Ben's heart skipped a beat, the two of you spoke in unison.

"He's not-"

"I'm not-"

"Oh, right...the denial stage..." The lady lifted her hands up in defense. "Sorry." Turning around to guide you, you quickly followed as Ben stood there and rubbed his face, feeling how hot it had become.

Quickly getting into the dressing room and hanging up the bras, you let out a sigh; not only one, but _two_ people had assumed you two were a thing all because you guys were shopping together. "Jeez, can't best friends who are the opposite sex not be considered a couple..." You mumbled to yourself, undressing so you could try the bras on.

"You know, I knew a boy like you once." The lady told Ben as he waited just outside. "He was too much of a wuss to admit he liked the girl, even though it was so obvious. Funny thing is, the girl liked him, too, and they were nothing but idiots in love." Arching an eyebrow at the lady, she laughed. "A little word of advise, get her before someone else does." With a wink, the lady was off, leaving Ben there with slump shoulders and a frown on his lips.

"Someone already has..."

Looking at the mirror as the bralette you had been wearing was too small, practically causing your boobs to pop out more than they should, you sighed. "Dammit this is the second time this month my bra size changed." You mumbled to yourself, turning around and walking out. "Hey, I think I need to check the size of my-" Cutting yourself off as the person waiting outside was not a worker--rather, Ben--your heart skipped a beat.

Staring at one another with wide eyes, Ben's eyes slowly trailed down only to widen even more. "Holy fuck..." Ben spoke under his breath as you nearly squealed, quickly rushing back inside and calling to him.

"C-can you please get the lady!" Leaning your back against the door, you took in a deep breath.

"U-uh...yeah!" Mentally smacking himself, Ben quickly ran out. _You dumb fuck you don't just stare at her boobs!_ "Hey, my girl-...my friend needs your help." He spoke behind the woman as she turned around, smirking.

"You okay? You look a little red...did you-"

"C-can you help her, please and thank you!" Ben's voice nearly cracked as the woman's eyebrows raised, nodding and then walking off.

"What can I help you with?" The lady spoke up as you slowly opened the door, peaking out and seeing Ben wasn't in sight. "Don't worry, he's outside." She swatted her hand with a smirk.

"Yeah, I really don't know my bra size, it keeps changing and I thought this was my size but apparently not..." Looking down, the lady nodded.

"Definitely not, no wonder he-" Cutting herself off as she cleared her throat, she pulled the measuring tape away from dangling off her shoulders. "Let me just measure you."

Standing there with your hands pressed against the back of your head, you shut your eyes--how much worse could things possibly get between the two of you in one day?

"Alright, that should be your size." Handing you a small card, you smiled and thanked her. "By the way, the boys a keeper if he's doing all this with you without complaining." Patting your shoulder and walking off, your head fell as you sighed. These weren't things you needed to hear.

"Ben?" You called out, seeing him peak his head in. "Do you mind if you get me this bralette but in a different size?"

Walking in, he nodded. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"Find one with this on the tag," Pointing at the number and letter on the tab, Ben blinked.

"Y-yeah, okay, no problem." Quickly sprinting out, you bit your bottom lip. _It's no big deal, he knows my bra size now...right?_

Rushing to where he remembered the bra to be, he haphazardly looked around, mumbling the bra size as he gained weird looks. Pulling open and shutting closed drawers, he instantly found the one and smiled. "Aha!"

"Sir, what are-"

"This is for my girlfriend, she got the wrong size!" Darting away, Ben only slowed his pace as he realized he had called you his girlfriend. _You dumbass_. "Hey, I got it." About to just hand it over the door, you only opened it to grab it.

"Thanks!" You smiled, quickly shutting the door. Swiftly changing and trying it on, you sighed in relief.

"Did I get the right size?" Nearly jumping as you had thought Ben left, you let out a small breath.

"Y-yeah! Thanks, again!" Changing out of it and trying the other few in complete silence, you couldn't help but think about how Ben looked at you the second you had stepped out; but what made it worse was the fact that you weren't even mad at what happened, nor embarrassed, just...shy?

It wasn't like you were shy when in a swimsuit around people you knew or didn't know, so why were you shy in front of Ben? Hell, Hux has seen you in your bra once before when changing and you didn't even care. So what made Ben so different from everyone else?

"Hey, do you mind if we stop at a few of my stores?" Ben asked, breaking the silence.

Changing back into your clothes, you grabbed your things and opened the door. "Yeah, sure." Nodding with a smile as you walked past him, Ben took in a deep breath as he followed you. Wasn't like he needed to go shopping, seeing as his wardrobe consisted of the same things, but it didn't hurt trying a few things on.

Getting to the register and quickly paying for your things, you decided to hold the bag on your own unlike all the others Ben voluntarily held onto. "Where to?" You asked, walking out of the store. "And don't tell me Hot Topic!" You teased as Ben rolled his eyes with a small grin.

"Nah, I was thinking Urban Outfitters." He shrugged as you suddenly stopped in your tracks, eyebrows knitting as he you wore a look of bewilderment--Ben shopping at Urban Outfitters? For what reason exactly did he need to shop there? "I think I need a new pair of jeans." Walking ahead of you as he smirked to himself, you bit your bottom lip. "And I'm gonna need your help on deciding when I try them on."

Feeling your shoulders slump as you wanted to whine about how you knew this was just him getting back at you for all the clothes you tried on, a part of you couldn't help but want to see him try on jeans; even if it was completely wrong to think his ass looked great in the jeans he had been wearing at the moment.

. . .

"Why would you even buy jeans from here? They're like sixty bucks, Ben!" You exclaimed, looking through the piles haphazardly as Ben had actually been looking.

"Psht, don't lie, you buy shit from here." Shaking his head as your mouth fell into a thin line as you knew he was right, Ben chuckled. "Knew it."

"Oh, shut up, it's not my number one go to place. Way too overpriced and I could legit get the same things elsewhere for cheaper." Walking past him as you went to another table to look at their shorts, you gasped. "Forty for this?!"

Sighing, Ben tossed the jeans he wanted to try on over his arm before walking to you, grabbing your upper arm and dragging you with him. "Can you not be so loud, they all get it, the place is over priced-"

"Coming from a guy buying from it!" Instantly covering your mouth with his hand, you swatted it away.

"Because it's good quality and it fits just right." Stopping at the dressing rooms, you whined the slightest, hating how Ben was going to spend so much money on jeans--something he owned enough of. "And you're one to talk about saving money." Watching him walk into one of the rooms, you gasped.

"I hate you..." You muttered under your breath, eyes narrowed as you walked over to where he had been changing.

"I heard that!" He peaked his head out, only to pull you into the dressing room with him.

"W-what are you doing?" You frantically asked as he sat you down.

"Uh, trying the pants on?" He arched an eyebrow, going to unbutton his pants as your heart raced.

"I know that you moron, I mean, with me in here!" Trying not to stare, you gulped and forced yourself to look up at him rather his hands.

"Because it'll be easier for you to help me choose? I don't feel like coming in an out to show you. It's not like I'm going naked, relax." He huffed as you leaned back and felt your shoulders fall.

"I had to do it and I didn't complain." You mumbled.

"It just me in my underwear, no big deal." Removing his shoes as he slid off his jeans, you sucked in your breath. _Why are his fucking legs nice?_

Rolling your eyes at your own thoughts, you sunk into the small seat--you knew this was some outside force messing with you as a sort of payback for who knows what.

"Alright, how do these look?" Looking up at Ben, your eyes trailed down to the dark blue pair he had been wearing.

"You in dark blue? Thought you only wore black?" You questioned as he sighed.

"You're right." Quickly removing them, you sighed.

Sliding on another pair, you crossed your arms. "Grey?"

"Look, I was trying to do different dark colors, okay?!" Haphazardly removing the jeans, he went for the last pair. Watching him slide them on as you took in a deep breath, your eyes widened. "Okay, how about _these_?"

Blinking, your eyes were glued on to his ass, amazed how the jeans were hugging his lower half so tightly. "Uh...y-you know...black is your color." You nodded, Ben turning to face you as your eyes widened even more.

"Who would've thought." He sarcastically responded as your heart thudded, eyes quickly averting his crotch. "I have the shirt that I wanted to try on as well, thought I'd at least buy something white."

"Huh?" Looking up just as Ben began removing the shirt he had on, your eyes felt as if they were going to pop out with the sight of his torso, the way his v line was so prominent along with almost everything else.

"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, enough for only you to hear.

Watching the way his muscles shifted as he pulled on the new shirt, you felt your body heat rising as you quickly fanned yourself before he noticed. "How's the shirt?" Ben asked.

"Fine!" You nearly shrieked, shifting in your spot as Ben smiled over at you. "Just...fine..."


	13. Screen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Screen by Twenty One Pilots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's no pervy ben buuuut ben is really adorable

"Thanks for joining me today." Taking a sip of your drink from the straw, you gave Ben a smile. "I mean, I don't mind going alone but since I went a little wild on shopping I at least had you to hold my bags." Shrugging, Ben's eyebrows raised as he let out a small gasp.

"So you used me to be your mule?" He questioned as you simply nodded.

"Mhm, and you were--by far--the best mule ever." Teasing him, Ben only huffed, roughly grabbing onto his cup and practically chugging it, acting as if your words had offended him. "Is the mule upset?" Faking a pout, Ben only rolled his eyes. "It's okay, the mule treated himself by buying a new shirt and jeans." Fighting a laugh as you simply smiled, looking down at the menu as the two of you now sat across from one another at one of the restaurants at the mall.

Placing down his cup as he glared at you, he held back a grin as he played along. "The mule at least needs to change his slave clothes here and there."

Instantly looking up at him as your mouth fell open, you chuckled. "A slave?! Wow, I don't treat you _that_ bad!"

"I don't know...you never gave me some water when I needed it nor did you let me take a break from holding your things-"

Standing up and reaching over the table, you smacked his arm as you bit your bottom lip. "Oh, shut up!"

Laughing, Ben rubbed his arm as you sat back down. "How abusive! And you say I'm not a slave!"

"You really suck as a mule." Crossing your arms, you only heard Ben's laugh lightly carry on, causing you to smile. "At least you're my favorite mule..." You muttered.

"I am your _only_ mule!" Ben exclaimed as you quickly looked up.

"No way! Rey is sometimes, sometimes it's my parents...sometimes it's my cousin or brothers...maybe Hux, but he never likes going shopping so..." You retorted as Ben narrowed his eyes.

"Fine, I'm the only mule that _actually_ does the job right."

Shaking your head, you let out a small chuckle. "You're such a moron."

Lifting up a finger as he had been flipping through the menu, Ben corrected you. "Correction, _mule_."

Pressing your palm against your forehead, you muttered, "Oh my gosh..."

Holding a brand new suit that was kept in its cover over his shoulder, Hux walked along the malls hallway only to take a sudden double take as he recognized the two figures sitting at one of the windows in the nearby restaurant. "What on Earth...?" Narrowing his eyes as he studied the two of you, he watched as you threw your head back in laughter. "Unbelievable."

Quickly walking over to the restaurants enteance and practically storming to the table your two were sitting at, Hux wore a forced grin and nearly stared you to death. "H-Hux!" You exclaimed, eyes wide as Bens shoulders instantly slumped, looking over and seeing the ginger.

"Great..." Ben muttered.

"I didn't know you were coming to the mall, you should have told me and I would have taken you!" He smiled as you nervously sat there and blinked, Ben instantly coming to your rescue.

"Actually, I asked her to come with me. I needed help buying a gift for my mom and she kindly accompanied me to help." Ben spoke up, causing you to gulp as your eyes shifted to him, then back at Hux as he had looked over at Ben, taking in a deep breath as he clenched his jaw.

"Oh...how lovely." He spoke through his teeth, you feeling your heart race as you suddenly felt out of place. "Mind if I join the two of you?" Hux asked, directing his words at you rather than you _and_ Ben.

"Uh-I...I-"

Groaning in annoyance, Ben rubbed his face, "N-"

"Are you guys ready to order?" Looking up from his hands, Ben groaned even more as he realized Hux sat down.

"Yes, we are." Hux spoke up as your eyebrows narrowed.

"But you just-"

"I've been here plenty of times, I'll have-" Tuning Hux out as you felt uncomfortable, you stuck your hands in between your thighs as you let out a sigh, looking over at Ben and seeing how aggravated he seemed.

Feeling the heat in his body reach his face as his body temperature increased, the entire time the three of you were eating dinner, Hux kept his attention on you and only you as Ben sat there in a pile of his own rage. This was supposed to be between you and Ben and _only_ you two, not plus one.

Seeing how out of it you were, Ben pulled his phone from his pocket and spoke up, catching yours--and Hux's--attention. "Huh? Already? Oh...alright, well, we're at dinner...yeah, we'll go now." Acting as if he hung up with someone, Ben stood up and grabbed the bags, Hux looking at them and furrowing his eyebrows--did Ben really buy all of that for his mom?

"W-what is it?" You suddenly sat up from being hunched.

"We gotta get going, the surprise party is about to start and we're the only ones missing!" Ben nodded, hoping you'd get the memo.

"Oh...already?! Okay!" Standing up, Hux narrowed his eyebrows as you walked over him, trying to get out of the seat. "I'll see you later!" You quickly kissed Hux's cheek.

"Hux, do you mind paying?" Ben asked Hux as Hux sat there and blinked. "Thanks!" Rushing off with you by his side, Hux glared at Ben.

"I feel bad for lying..." You sighed as the two of you walked back to the parking garage. "I mean-"

"He ruined best friend day." Ben bitterly spoke as you looked up at him, seeing him walk with tense shoulders.

"Best friend day?" You narrowed your brows the slightest, only to smile.

"Yeah, it was just you and I and we were having a good time and that assw-" Looking over at you as you arched an eyebrow, Ben sighed. "Sorry...he just ruined it."

"No he didn't, we can still 'celebrate your moms birthday' and have fun!" You said with air quotes as Ben smiled.

"What would we do, though?" He asked as you looked down at all the bags in his hold.

"We can go back to your place and leave the bags and then see a movie if you'd like-"

"Yeah!" Ben exclaimed with an eager nod as you chuckled. "Sounds good to me!"

. . .

"Are you sure you want to see this movie? You don't seem into mystery slash drama films..." Taking a seat in one of the far back, center spots, you and Ben sat down just under the projector.

"I've practically seen every other good movie that came out already with Rey and Poe." Ben shrugged.

"So you decided to spend money on a movie you don't even really care about?" You looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he nodded.

"Basically...I mean, don't you want to see it?" He asked as you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, but I don't want you to be bored the whole time..."

"It's fine, I always find myself randomly getting into these kind of movies, they usually have a twist at the end and fuck me up."

Laughing, you shook your head, thankful that the theater was practically empty. "As long as you don't fall asleep, then we're good."

As much as you didn't want Ben to fall asleep on you during the movie, the total opposite ended up happening. The lack of sleep you had received was slowly creeping up on you so the fact that you were surrounded by darkness in quite the comfortable seats, you found yourself slowly sinking into them as your body naturally gravitated towards Ben's. That is until you completely knocked out, head resting upon Ben's shoulder as you were dead asleep, the sounds from the film not being a bother.

"Wow." Shaking his head as he looked down at you, Ben chuckled. You were the one telling him not to fall asleep, yet, here you were, deep into your slumber.

Smiling to himself, he lifted up the arm rest so you could feel comfortable resting upon him, on his chest rather than shoulder, using his jacket to cover you as he could see you slightly shivering from the lack of cover up. If this were a date and if you were his girlfriend, he would've had you on his lap by now. But that wasn't the case, and you weren't anything but his best friend so he respected the boundaries.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't internally screaming, enjoying the fact that he could feel your body against his own, even if this was the most innocent thing that could happen between the two of you.

Watching the entirety of the movie as, here and there, Ben would look over to you; he pushed some of your hair away from your face and behind your ear and moving his attention back to the screen as he realized the film had ended. Lightly groaning as you found yourself waking up, you looked up at the screen to see the credits rolling. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Nearly being startled by the sound of your voice, Ben looked down at you. "Oh, didn't want to bother you, you seemed exhausted."

Smiling, you hadn't realized you were knocked out against his chest until you sat up. "Sorry, I used you as my pillow." You softly chuckled as Ben waved a hand.

"It's fine, but we should head back to my place, it's five till eleven and I'm sure everyone's worried about us..."

Stretching your arms, you blushed, realizing Ben's jacket was on you. "Probably..." 

. . .

"Where the hell are they?!" Rey exclaimed, calling you and Ben a good ten times. "Ugh!" Scrolling for Hux's number, Rey heard it ring, only to cut off Hux as he was about to say hello. "Where's y/n?!"

"What do you mean? Isn't she with you at your moms party?"

Widening her eyes, Rey bit her tongue as she mentally cursed. "Ah, crap, I forgot that she had to leave and get the cake...sorry, there's so many people and I've been busy hosting and yeah...bye!" Hanging up, Rey let out a deep breath. "Birthday party? What the hell are those two up to? It isn't like Ben needs all this time with her when she's with us for a week!" Tossing her phone onto her bed, Rey gave up, only to hear the front door close.

"Thanks for everything, and I'm sorry I fell asleep on you!" Walking towards the staircase as Ben followed, he smiled. "It was a great best friends day."

"And where have you two been?!" Rey crossed her arms, standing on one of the middle steps of the staircase.

"At the mall..." You responded.

"And bad dinner..." Ben added.

"And saw a movie..." You two said in unison.

"We were here a few hours ago to drop off our stuff, didn't you see us?" You asked as you walked past her.

"Yeah, we even called out to see if you wanted to join us but no answer." Ben snickered as he had done the same, Rey watching the two of you make your way to the second floor with her mouth hanging loose.

"I was in the shower! You two clearly suck." Trudging up the steps, you and Ben only sniggered, looking at each other.

"Oh well, maybe next time!" You nodded.

"Yeah, maybe then you can join us!" Opening his bedroom door and walking in, you went to Rey's room, the two of you disappearing from her sight.

"I hate you both...and what's this about mom having a birthday party?!" Rey shouted as you and Ben grew wide eyed. "Hello! Why is Hux telling me this?!"

"It's because we ran into Hux at the mall and he saw us shopping and I wasn't about to say Ben was my last minute mule..." You peaked your head out from the door frame as Rey's eyes narrowed.

"Mhm...I bet." Walking over to her room, she eyed you before hopping on her bed. "Though I'm sure Ben is a better mule than I am."

Nodding your head as you went to change into your pajamas, Rey laughed. "He really is, I think we should take him the next time we go so he can hold both of our bags."

"I think so, too." Going under the covers as Rey was beyond exhausted, being worn out from worrying about the two of you. "I'm gonna knock out, night."

"Yeah, same..." Removing your jewelry and going into the bathroom to remove your makeup, you couldn't help but grin about how well your day went--even if Hux had to crash the dinner--it still went better than expected; you just hoped it'd happen more often than not now that Ben was back. "Night." Moving to the air mattress, you lied there, on your side and under the sheets as your mind was in another world.

These feelings you had for Ben were flourishing inside of you like flowers blossoming, and as much as you wanted to mow them down, their roots were already planted in too deep.

You were just afraid how tall they would grow.

Laying on his back as his arms crossed behind his head, staring at the ceiling as time passed, Ben couldn't find it in himself to sleep when his heart was all over the place. His cheeks were hurting from smiling along with his chest aching with how fast his heart had pounded against it. The way you made him feel was so euphoric, even if it was simply by your presence, you made his day worth while. He could only imagine how it'd be once you were actually his.

Would his heart being aching twice as bad? Or would he be too in love to not feel a thing? Would he be numb or would he feel it like a freight train crashing into him? He wasn't sure and all he could do was dream, because even if you were taken, he was going to stop at nothing to be your one and only. Even if that meant he'd have to wait forever.

Shivering under your sheets as you tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable--and warming--position, you sat up and looked at Rey to see her fast asleep. Pouting, you sighed. "Darn it..." Standing up, you rubbed your bare arms as your legs trembled. You regretted wearing the nightwear you chose. The only good thing about it was that it was smooth and the silk didn't make you sweat if you were hot.

Quietly walking out of Rey's room and shutting the door, you made your way over to Ben's, hoping he was still awake.

Too caught up daydreaming to even hear the door open and close, the sudden sound of you whispering caused him to narrow his eyebrows--was he hearing things?

"Psst...Ben!" You whispered. "Are you awake?" Looking over, Ben quickly sat up, unsure if he was hallucinating or not. "You are...did I wake you?"

"Wh-...no, no, I've been awake." He nodded.

"Are you tired?" You asked, still rubbing your arms.

"Not really, you?" Eyeing your shivering frame, Ben's brows furrowed once again.

"Mhm...I'm just really cold and uncomfortable. I didn't want to wake up Rey because she looked completely out so I thought-"

"You can lie next to me, if you want?" He suddenly offered, catching you off guard. "My beds bigger than Rey's and it's far more better than an air mattress." He chuckled as you lightly smiled.

"A-are you sure?" Seeing him nod, you quickly walked over and got under the sheets, feeling the sudden warmth as you practically buried yourself in his bed.  "I'm sorry to bother you..."

"No, it's fine. You're a guest and it wouldn't be right to have the guest sleep like shit." Ben nodded as the two of you lied beside one another, facing each other as your body still trembled.

"Thank you." Holding onto the covers as you shook, Ben instantly reached over and pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you to keep you warm as your body was now pressed up against his.

If it wasn't for the fact that he was a humanized heater, warming you up by being against him, you would've been freaking out over the fact that you were in his bed, lying against his bare chest knowing very well he was just in his boxers. As much as you wanted to question as to how he _wasn't_ cold, you kept your mouth shut, it was enough that your heart was racing from lying your cheek against his undressed chest.

Then there was Ben, breathing growing heavy as he held you against him like a teddy bear. Fear coursed through his veins as he were afraid he was about to hyperventilate--it wasn't everyday he held the girl of his dreams against his chest the way he had been at the moment. It also didn't help that his heartbeat was erratic, and as much as it was bothering him, to you...it was a sweet lullaby that put you to sleep.

Taking in a deep breath, Ben let out a small huff as his grip around you tightened the slightest. How was he so lucky? How was he blessed enough to have a moment like this one? He knew it wasn't going to last long, eventually you would have to run back to Rey's room before she knew you were gone. But, for now, he was going to take it all in and appreciate the company--because, to him, this was all he could ever ask for.

"Ben, honey, I-" Cutting herself off as she opened the door, Leia's eyes widened the slightest at the sight. "Oh my..." She muttered, seeing you in Ben's hold as the two of you were fast asleep.

It was so unlike Ben to be in bed before three in the morning, let alone, midnight, so seeing her own son fast asleep with a calm expression on his face as if he hadn't suffered from insomnia made Leia want to burst out into tears. Of course she knew how much you had meant to Ben and reverse, but to see you had the ability to take something away like Ben's sleeping issues only made her heart ache--if only Ben had made a move long ago, maybe then his (and Leia's) dreams would be fulfilled.

Walking a little bit closer, Leia's heart skipped a beat, nearly gasping at how one of Ben's hands were tangled in your hair as if he had been putting you to sleep. Frowning as she fought the urge to cry, she took in a deep breath, seeing how you were bundled up and pressed against her sons chest as if you two were used to such thing. "My heart..."

Quickly walking out before the water works came, Leia quietly shut the door and rushed to her bedroom. "Han! Our son is lying in his bed with our daughters best friend in his arms against his bare chest!" She exclaimed in excitement.

"Honey, why would you walk in on the two-"

"Han, she's dating Hux..."

"Oh, right." He nodded, only to gasp. "What the hell is Ben doing with a girl who is taken?! I will go over there and personally teach him-"

Holding Han back, Leia swatted his chest. "Hey! That is no way to treat our son."

"Sorry..." Han muttered.

"Let them be, they're just sleeping, she was probably freezing in Rey's room by the looks of it. Doesn't help that Rey sleeps with a fan so that room must feel like it's the arctic." Leia waved a hand. "I'm sure in the morning she'll be gone."

Or so she thought. The next morning, the second Leia got up was the second she went to check on the two of you. As much as the sight of you two cuddling was heartwarming, she didn't want her daughter noticing her best friend ditched her to sleep with her brother.

Quietly creeping over and opening the door, Leia instantly gasped as she covered her mouth. Not only were you still in Ben's bed, but you were completely intertwined with him. Ben's head was resting against your chest as his arms were wrapped around your waist, yours loosely wrapped over his shoulders as your legs were completely intertwined, sheets nearly falling off the bed as if each others body heat was enough.

Not to mention, in a corner lied Kylo and Jupiter all cuddled up in Kylo's little bed, Leia unsure how to take this as Kylo never slept in his bed and Jupiter clearly did not like the black cat. Was this just a joke or was this some sort of sign?

Whatever it may be, Leia hoped it was in either of your favors--as long as you were back on the air mattress before Rey woke up.

Lightly moaning as you felt yourself slowly waking up, stretching your arms, Ben's eyes fluttered only to shoot open as the first thing in his line of vision was your breast. Feeling his cheeks heat up as his body grew tense, he hadn't realized he had been wrapped around you until he felt your legs shifting. 

_She's still here?_ Slightly panicking as he wasn't sure what to do, he carefully removed himself from you and let out a small breath, gently rocking you awake. "Hey...hey...I hate to wake you up but Rey gets up early..."

"Mmm...huh?" Rubbing your eyes, you yawned into your hand only to see Ben lying there. "Wh-" Looking down at his bare chest, your heart skipped a beat as you had nearly forgotten he was in just boxers and nothing else. "Oh!" Quickly sitting up, you saw how the covers were nearly falling off the bed. "How-"

"I don't know but you should go to Rey's room before she wakes up..." He spoke in a groggy voice, sending chills down your spine at how insanely deep it was.

"Y-yeah...uh-thank you? Yeah, I slept great." You nodded, nearly stumbling as you stood up. "I should really sleep here instead, so much better than the floor." Walking to the door as Ben sat there and watched you with a tight jaw as he didn't want to make any sounds, you nervously chuckled. "Thanks, again, for helping me sleep!" Waving, you shut the door behind you as Ben fell back on his bed, sighing.

Why couldn't you just be sleeping in his room instead of having to sleep on a lame air mattress? And why couldn't you be his girlfriend?

_Because she's taken, you idiot._ _That's right._

Rushing back into Rey's room and getting under the sheets, you checked your phone to see it was half past eight in the morning, knowing very well Rey gets up at nine. At least she didn't see you sneaking in, if she had, your half-asleep self would've had to make up a lie.

But you were lucky enough and she was till fast asleep while you lied there, thinking about how great it felt to sleep in Ben's bed and how you barely moved a muscle the entire night. Was his bed _that_ good or was it him? You couldn't remember much because the second you were lying against Ben's chest, and the second the tips of his fingers rubbed against your head, you instantly knocked out.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you thought about how Hux had never put you to sleep--rather--he always fell asleep before you had. But Ben, on the other hand, put you first and helped you knock out when you were struggling. It really didn't make it any better for you when you were finding more pros about Ben and way more cons for Hux--your own boyfriend.

_I guess these flowers will never stop growing inside me._


	14. Heart Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Heart Out by The 1975

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly pervy ben ahead

"Alright, seeing as this is like the fourth day you've been here and first weekend, I think it's only fair you hang out with your best friend." Sitting across from Rey as she stood in front of the counter, she arched an eyebrow. "A.K.A. me." Swallowing the lightest as you thought about the previous night and how you snuck out of Rey's room and slept with Ben, Rey only smiled. "Now that my concert is cancelled and wasted all that time rehearsing yesterday...I'm all yours."

"I believe so, too." You nodded. "Although it's Sunday and there's not much fun things you can do on a Sunday-"

"I beg to differ. We can do a lot! Like...the movies-"

"Did that yesterday."

"Or shop-"

"Did that as well."

"Or eat!"

"Rey, really?" You slouched as Rey sighed.

"How about...an arcade?! Or-or the pool!" Rey eagerly nodded.

"Rey, you have a pool in your backyard..." Pointing over at it, Rey only rolled her eyes.

"You're not making this easy on me, y/n." She glared as you chuckled.

Lifting up your hands in defense, you smiled. "Okay, okay! Pool it is!"

"Yay! Then later we can go to that pizza joint...uh...Jabbas Pizza Palace!" Wearing a wide grin as she nodded, you stood up from the stool and aimed for the stairs to go up and change.

"Sounds good to me!" Turning your attention ahead, your heart skipped a beat as Ben walked down with Jupiter in one arm and Kylo in the other. "H-Hey...what are you-"

"Well, the only way to get Kylo to like me is to have Jupiter with me...seeing as she loves me and he loves her, it works out." Nodding his head as he looked down at you and smiled, your eyebrows raised.

"I mean, whatever works!" Walking up to him and petting the two cats, you then walked around him. "Just don't get too attached to her, she leaves with me next Sunday." You pointed a finger as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know." Walking down the rest of the steps, he only stopped as Rey stood there and stared, eyebrow arched.

"You're so weird." Shaking her head, she walked past him as he scrunched up his eyebrows.

"Because I'm holding two cats?"

"No, because you're using one to get the other to like you! Give up already, satan cat only likes y/n!" Throwing a hand up in the air as she spoke, Rey went to her room as Ben mumbled to himself.

"And that's _exactly_ why I need him to like me."

Sliding your feet into a pair of sandals after putting a baseball cap and sunglasses on, you grabbed a towel and walked out of Rey's room just as she had entered the bathroom. It had been quite a bit since you had gone to the pool--let alone--any body of water, so it was nice to have such a refresher after the two weeks you had. "I'll see you down there!"

Quickly making your way down the stairs, you aimed for the sliding glass doors, only to stop as you saw Ben sitting on the couch. Lowering your sunglasses as they hung loose on your nose, you walked over to him and chuckled at the sight. "I'm assuming it's working, seeing as Kylos actually being affectionate." You pointed out as Ben had been watching tv.

Looking down at the black cat, he smiled, "Yeah, I guess he-" Cutting himself off as he looked up at you, his eyes first landing on the swimwear you had been in; it was a simple white one piece that was nothing out of this world, but to Ben, it _was_. "-does..." Swallowing as his eyes trailed up from staring at your swimsuit, he then forced a smile on himself as you had been smiling down at him.

"That's great! Maybe in no time he'll learn to love you." You teased, Ben taking in a deep breath and nodding as his eyes wanted nothing but to trail your body, only for him to refuse to do so.

"I really hope s-so..." Taking in another deep breath as he kept his eyes locked on your own, you simply stood there and grinned as Kylo rubbed up against Ben's leg. "Are you and Rey gonna hang out...in the pool?"

"Mhm!" You hummed. "You should join us." _Wouldn't you like that? Seeing Ben shirtless again_. "I mean, if you're not busy getting your cat to like you." Chuckling, Ben only gulped.

"I-...thanks but, I'm sure Rey wants one-on-one time since I had you all day yesterday." Looking back down at the pair of cats on his laps you felt a small frown tug on your lips.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'll be out there waiting." Walking off as you pushed back your sunglasses, Ben's eyes grew wide as you left his sight, not realizing what you had even said.

 _Waiting? Waiting for me? Why would she wait for me?!_ Taking in yet another deep breath, Ben moaned as he slid down in his spot. Kylo reaching over for Jupiter as Jupiter forced herself under Bens hand-- _maybe I should go._

"Hey, we're gonna be in the backyard if you need anything." Rey called out as she came back down the stairs. "Though I'm sure you're big enough not to need your little sister or her best friends assistance, so, don't bug us." Opening up the sliding glass door and closing it behind her, Ben groaned even louder.

Should he stay and be with the cats? Or should he go and be a creep and watch you in the pool (even though he was sure Rey would rip him a new one if she caught him taking even the slightest of a glimpse at you). "Screw it, I'm going." Standing up from the seat as the cats jumped off, Ben aimed for the stairs, determined to spend as much time with (or near) you as possible for the next week.

If this was his only chance to get closer to you and try to make up for the time lost, so be it, he was going to do it and he was going to do it as cheeky as ever.

Lying down on one of the beach chairs as you removed the robe along with sunglasses, you decided to tan while Rey had done the same next to you, music playing from her phone. "So, how's my brothers company?" She spoke up as your heart jumped.

"It was fun, I made him hold all my clothes as I looked around, and he held all my bags so I didn't have to..." You smiled as Rey hummed.

"That's awfully nice of him, he never holds my bags when we go shopping." She frowned as you chuckled.

"You know _exactly_ why is that."

"Look, he's a big shit-head so I have to treat him like one. I still love him very much, but he's still a shit." Rey stated as you laughed. "But, apparently, not to you."

"He has his moments, but overall, I love him." Catching yourself, your cheeks only burned as Rey laughed.

"It's only fair seeing as he is my brother...but, I would've been fine if you hated him."

"Kinda hard to when he's a good friend." You shrugged as Rey arched a brow. "But that's no biggie-"

"Mind telling me why Hux told me you were here celebrating my mother's surprise birthday?" Rey suddenly asked, catching you off guard as your eyes widened.

"You see, Hux ran into Ben and I at the mall and he was suspicious as to why we're alone...I couldn't just tell him we were shopping or he'd go off and ask why I didn't invite him-"

"Yeah, why is that?" Rey looked over to you as your stomach turned.

"B-because Hux hates the mall, I've learned to not take him shopping with me so..."

"Ahh." Rey nodded, looking back up. "Then why was he at the mall if he hated it?"

Biting your tongue, you mentally cursed. "Not sure, he's never there so maybe he had to buy something."

"You didn't bother to ask?" Rey questioned.

"No..."

"Hmm..." Looking over at Rey as she simply lied there, you sighed quietly, only for your attention to turn with hers as the sliding glass door opened. "What are you doing? I said not to bother us!" Rey shrieked as Ben walked out, towel over his shoulder as he was in nothing but swim trunks.

"Well, I live here, too...so I have every right to the pool." Staring at him as your throat locked, you forced yourself not to stare at his torso, although that's exactly where your eyes landed. "Thought I'd take up your offer," Ben winked at you.

Pushing his sunglasses down onto his nose as he lied the towel on top of your chair, he smiled. " _Ben_..." Rey spoke through gritted teeth.

"I'll see you in the water." Patting your head as he completely ignored his sister, he placed his sunglasses at the edge of the pool and dove in, splashing the two of you.

"BENJAMIN!" Rey shouted as your eyes widened, you only deciding it was your time to go in the pool before Rey went on a rampage.

Placing your hat on the seat, you quickly moved over to the steps of the pool as Rey went off on Ben; meanwhile, he stood there at the edge of the pool, arms crossed on the ground as he had smiled up at his sister. "Love you, too."

"Ugh! You're so annoying!" Lying back down and lowering her sunglasses, Rey hadn't realized you left her side, too busy cooling off.

Dipping your foot in, you grew chills, slowly walking down the steps and not noticing Ben approaching you. Making it to the last step, Ben popped up in front of you as you jumped. "Dammit, Ben..." Holding onto your chest as he smiled, he stuck a hand out.

"C'mon, the only way you'll get used to the water is putting your whole body in." Nudging his head over to the deep end, you took in a breath--open waters, let alone, deep waters, weren't your favorite thing. But you weren't going to let Ben know you were a coward and afraid of a six foot pool

"Fine." Grabbing onto it, Ben walked you over to the center of the pool as the water grew higher and higher around you. "Please don't forget I am much more shorter than your tall behind, so, be courteous." You breathed, slowly feeling yourself panic the higher the water got.

"Don't worry, babe, I've got you." Not realizing that 'babe' came out of his mouth as you were too busy mentally freaking out, you felt your body shiver.

"Ben, I'm freezing and it's getting too deep..."

"You'll get used to it, I promise." Looking over at you as you shook, he only pulled you into his chest, catching you off guard as you grew stiff. "Honestly, what would you do without me? I feel like I'm your go-to personal heater."

"You p-practically are." You breathed, pressing your arms up against him as Ben held you, your body slowly adjusting to the waters temperature.

"Do you wanna go into the deep end?" He asked as you looked up with a raised brow.

"Ben, how am I going to get over there and how do you expect me to stay afloat the entire time without holding onto the wall." You tilted your head as Ben raised his brows, trying to make up an excuse as to why you two didn't have to go that far out. "I can swim! Of course! But I-"

Letting you go and turning around, he crouched down. "Get on my back."

"What?" Looking at him with a bewildered expression, Ben only nudged his head.

"Get on my back and I'll swim the two of us to the deep end. It's only like six feet which is fine by me, I can help you stay afloat the whole time."

"But, but I don't want to be like a koala on your back and be a nuisance..."

"It's fine, really, just get on." Sighing, you climbed on Ben, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as he began swimming. How was Rey not noticing any of the interactions going on between the two of you?

Taking in small, deep breaths as you kept your eyes shut in fear, you could feel the water covering more and more of your body. Peaking an eye open, your head shot around, realizing you were--in fact--in the deep end. "Oh my god..." You whispered as you had removed your legs from Ben, the boy turning to face you as you held onto his shoulders.

"See, told you it'd be-"

"I-I can't...I-" Panting as you looked down at the water, unable to touch the ground, your breath hitched. "Ben-Ben, this is...this is too deep!"

"Hey, it's alright-"

"I-I really-" Swallowing as your eyebrows scrunched up while the panic took control, your breathing grew heavy. "I-I'm af-...I-"

Seeing that your facial expression turned into that of fear as Ben knew you were about to cry, he instantly got a hold of your face and looked you dead in the eye. "Everything is going to be just fine, I'm right here and I promise you that I won't let you drown, okay? You're safe and I won't let anything happen to you." Looking back into his eyes as you slowly nodded, your tight grip on his shoulders slightly loosened. "Just _breathe_."

Shifting your eyes away in embarrassment as you steadied out your breathing, Ben only lifted your head up the slightest and kissed your forehead. "Everything is going to be alright."

"I'm sorry..." You muttered as Ben moved his hands from your cheeks, over to your waist. "I didn't really want to be a drag and keep you on the shallow end and I thought I could keep myself calm but I guess I was wrong..." Nervously looking at his chest rather than his eyes as you were still embarrassed, Ben only half smiled.

"Hey, it's okay if you're afraid of deep water, I wouldn't have mind staying in the shallow with you." Looking up at him as he smiled, your heart fluttered.

"It's just...isn't it boring for you?" You asked as Ben shook his head.

"Nah, it's fine. Plus, I only did it since you were cold and wanted you to warm up." Ben nodded as you felt a smile grow on your lips, thankful that he cared about your well being.

"Thank you..." You looked down.

Gazing at you as he watched you shyly look at the water, he only grinned. There was something about seeing you get all shy that made his heart ache. "No problem, kid." Slightly turning your head up as your cheeks turned a light tint of red, Ben suddenly pulled you closer as he began walking. "I appreciate the bravery, but I think it's only fair we go back to the shallow."

Sitting up in her spot as her eyes landed on the two of you, Rey arched an eyebrow out of suspicion. If it wasn't for the fact that she had music playing right next to her, she sure would've heard the conversation. "What are you two doing?" Rey asked as you instantly let go of Ben, taking a few steps back and sliding out of his hold as you had made it to the shallow.

"I-" About to speak up, Ben only responded.

"She wanted to go the deep end-"

"But y/n hates the deep end..." Rey narrowed her eyes as she lowered her sunglasses.

Sighing, Ben carried on. "That's exactly why I brought her back. She wanted to at first but I noticed how uncomfortable she was getting and I only thought it would be fair to bring her back." Ben crossed his arms as you nodded, sitting on one of the steps as Rey hummed.

"Well, that's dumb of you for bringing her to the deep end when she's afraid of deep water." Rey retorted as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't know that, if I had, I would have insisted we stay in the shallow." He nearly snarled as you sat there and quietly sighed, not wanting to cause trouble.

"It's not his fault, he didn't know I was afraid and I didn't want to tell him." You spoke up as both of their attention turned to you. "Plus, I thought it would be better for us to hang in the deep end rather than shallow since Ben is tall." Nodding your head, Rey only pushed back her sunglasses.

"Just don't do anything that'll cause a panic attack." Rey stated before leaning back in her seat as you frowned, shoulders slumping as it had already been too late.

Looking over, Ben decided to tilt your chin up with his finger as he smiled down at you. "Cheer up, everything's fine." With a wink from him, your heart melted as you inhaled and nodded. "Plus, we've gotta enjoy this while it lasts, falls practically here."

Taking a seat next to you, your eyes widened as you instantly stood up in front of him and held his shoulders. "You're right, fall!" Furrowing his eyebrows at you, you only chuckled. "We could go to the fall festival! Y'know, the one from eighth grade!" You eagerly nodded.

Thinking back to the festival, Ben's heart skipped a beat, thinking about the kiss. "You're right! We should go!" He, too, eagerly nodded as you smiled. "Maybe this time I can win you a better prize."

Feeling your grin grow, you nodded and pulled him into a hug. "Yes, we have to go!"

Being caught off guard as his face was pulled into your chest, Ben's eyes widened--he was doing so very well by keeping his flustered self at bay, but now this? Trying not to move his head as he was afraid it would fall deeper into your cleavage, he wrapped his arms around you and hoped that that was enough for you to let go.

"Okay, don't ask me if I want to go." Rey asked from her spot as she still had been tanning. "After all, I've been the one who's been asking to go the past three years and you never say yes."

Pushing back from the hug as you looked over at Rey, Ben let out an exhale as if he had been holding his breath. "Look, I told you, it isn't the same."

"How?!" Lifting up her glasses as she looked at you, you mumbled.

"I just...had a great time with Ben..." Shooting his head up as his eyes widened, Ben smiled.

"And you rather not go with your best friend?" Rey arched a brow.

"Well-"

"Oh, don't give me that! Ben is like your _good_ friend, I'm the _best_ friend!" Rey exclaimed.

"Actually, Poe's supposed to be the best-"

"I'm gonna act like I didn't hear that, this conversation never happened." Rey stated, lowering her glasses as you sighed.

"It's okay, I only wanted to go with you, anyways." Ben spoke up as your chest caved in.

"Really?" You smiled down at him as he nodded, Rey gagging.

"What about your _boyfriend_? You should go with him." Rey spoke up as Ben sighed.

"Hux isn't into those things, Rey. You know that." You spoke over your shoulder.

"Plus, she wouldn't have as much fun with Hux as she will with me." Ben stated as he kept his eyes on you, you looking back over and grinning.

"Yeah and, and we need to hang out just the two of us because it's been so long." You nodded as Ben nodded back.

"It'll make up for a part of the time loss, you know." He shrugged as you continued to nod.

"Yes, exactly! I mean, what other great way to spend quality time together than at the festival!" You clapped your hands.

Groaning, Rey stood up. "You two make me want to _gag_." Walking into the house as the two of you watched her, you only looked back at one another and shrugged.

It was great that you were able to have moments like these with Ben, especially when you two were bickering or Ben wasn't being a major flirt with you. It was soothing and quite...therapeutic? Just sharing small conversations, sitting next to one another or messing around in the water, you truly enjoyed the little amount of free time you spent with him.

Hearing your stomach growl, you only chuckled. "How long have we been in here for?"

"I don't know, let's see..." Picking up your hands, Ben looked at your fingertips. "Yep, they're raisins."

Shoving him back with a laugh, you shook your head. "Shut up."

Grinning as he had been laughing, Ben let go of your hands. "I think it's been a few hours."

"Do you think Rey's annoyed? She never came back outside..." You muttered, afraid you had upset her with how close you were being with Ben.

"Probably is since I took all your attention. Not my fault I'm just that entertaining." He winked as you shook your head and swatted his arm.

"She is my best friend and I care, alright? And you should, too, since you live with her." You nodded as you pointed a finger.

"I know, I know...but sharing is caring and I truly missed you and your small presence." Placing a hand on his chest as he patted your head with his free one, you only faked a frown.

"I'm not that small-"

"Compared to me, yes you are-"

"Everyone is, Ben! You're a damn giant!" You sniggered as you shoved his hand away from your head.

"Nah, only to you." Pinching your cheek, you rolled your eyes. "You're so tiny, the size of an ant-"

"Shut up, oh my gosh."

"You're a peanut, how cute, my little peanut!" Still squeezing your cheek, you only glared at him in annoyance as you crossed your arms. "Maybe a lady bug, or a bumblebee...or a cherry! Cherry...cherry works because it's close to cheery and you're a cheerleader." He smiled down at you as you sighed.

"You are so dumb."

"My little cherry!" Acting as if he were wiping away tears, you groaned. "Oh, how fast they grow up."

"I am leaving." Walking up the steps, Ben only got a hold of your waist.

"Don't leave me, cherry!"

"I will legit ditch you for your sister and only the two of us will be going to Jabba's Pizza Palace." You looked over at him while pointing your finger.

"Oh, don't be so cruel, I love Jabba's pizza!" Ben gasped as you fought a laugh.

"Then stop being an idiot!"

"How am I being an idiot when I am doing nothing but adoring you? Giving you a cute nickname and showing how much love I have for my best friend." He smiled up at you as your heart fluttered. As much as you wanted to seem annoyed by it all, you were truly enjoying the attention he was giving you.

"Fine..." You sighed. "But don't go around calling me 'cherry' every second, I don't need Rey thinking that we're up to something." You warned as Ben placed a hand on his chest where his heart was beating, nodding his head.

"Will do, my cherry." He winked as you rolled your eyes, getting out of the pool and going to where you had been sitting earlier, grabbing your towel and tossing Ben his.

"You want to die by the hands of your own sister, don't you?" You raised an eyebrow as you wrapped your towel around yourself as Ben dried his hair.

"What other way am I supposed to go?" He joked as he walked past you, you only sighing.

"Possibly by me if you keep this up." You muttered. "And I may just go down, too."

. . .

Sitting beside Ben as Rey had sat parallel to you, the three of you had found yourselves waiting at the table for the pizza to be done. "First, you steal her away from me at the pool, then, you steal her away from sitting next to me here?" Rey glared at her brother as Ben rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms behind his head.

"Sharing is caring, little sister." He smirked as Rey instantly kicked his shin, causing Ben to grunt. "Fucking-" Shooting a look at him, Ben bit back. "Still doesn't mean you're going to sit next to her."

Sighing as you were constantly stuck in between the two, you simply sat there and crossed your legs, hands lying upon one another on your thighs. "You guys seriously need to understand that I'm a human being, not a toy you fight over." You eyed the two, Rey scoffing as Ben shrugged.

"Well, you're _my_ best friend and this giant shit-head keeps taking you away." Rey pointed her hand at Ben.

"On the contrary, she's _both_ of our best friend," He leaned forward with a smirk, "as in, she considers _both_ of us as her best friend."

Shifting her jaw out of pure frustration, she shot her head in your direction and glared. "Oh, really?" Feeling your heart sink, you sucked in your breath. "I see how it is."

"Rey..." You groaned as she stood up. "Come on, did you forget that Poe's the OG best friend! You don't see him complaining!" You called out as she walked off.

"That's because he's mine and Finn's best friend now." Ben stated with a nod, you only looking over and flicking his forehead. "What's that for?" He frowned.

"For being an idiot." Crossing your arms and looking ahead, you huffed. "You know very well how your sister gets."

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter." Placing a hand on your knee, your eyebrows knitted the slightest. "What matters is that we're actually hanging out." Lifting up his hand and pressing his index finger against your skin, he slowly trailed it along your leg as your breath hitched. "No bickering, no arguing..." Sending chills down your spine as your body shivered, Ben leaned in closer. "Just two best friends hanging out."

Sucking in your breath as he whispered in your ear, your body froze as his finger came to a stop just at the end of your jean shorts. What made the situation more lovely was the fact that the shorts were pretty damn _short_ , and when you sat down, they rode up a lot, exposing most of your thigh.

Unable to speak up, Ben's hand lied against your thigh as you gulped, placing yours on his as if to move it away, you only saw Rey coming back. "Be thankful that I still brought the food to you two." She narrowed her eyes, placing the pizza down.

Sliding his hand out from under your own, he got a hold of your wrist and moved your hand on top of his thigh, eyes widening as you had hoped Rey didn't notice your sudden reaction. "Thank you, Rey." Ben spoke up, gently letting go of your wrist and grabbing a plate to get a slice.

Sitting there, paralyzed, Rey looked at you and arched a brow. "You okay? Are you not going to eat?"

Blinking, you quickly shook your head. "Uh...y-yeah, I just...I...it looks so good I couldn't help but drool!" You nervously laughed as Rey narrowed her eyebrows.

"You werido..." She chuckled, getting her slice as you weren't sure what to do. A part of you wanted to leave your hand there while the other wanted to move it as far away from Ben as possible. But, for some reason that you wouldn't dare unveil, your hand stayed there as one hand went to get the pizza.

Fighting a grin as Ben looked down at your hand, then over at you, he bit his inner lip. He knew for a fact you weren't going to be moving it anytime soon--and those were his intentions.


	15. Maybe We're Meant To Be Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Maybe We're Meant To Be Alone by Bad Suns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight pervy ben ahead + some angst towards the end

The rest of the time spent at the pizza joint, you had found yourself contemplating for a good fifteen minutes on whether or not you should remove your hand. Eventually, as Rey kept eyeing you trying to eat your pizza with one hand as Ben kept to himself and paid you no mind, you removed it and let out a shaky sigh. You couldn't comprehend as to why something like that had you all shaken up. Sure, physical contact with Ben always had you on edge, but why _didn't_ you do anything about it?

Humming in the shower as you washed yourself and your hair, you felt the warm water pat against your bare skin and hair as the shampoo washed away. Pushing your hair back with either hand as the water sprinkled your face, you shut off the shower and squeezed out enough water as possible from your hair before opening up the curtain and reaching for your towel.

Furrowing your brows, you pulled the curtain even more only to see you hadn't brought a towel with you. "Oh, come on!" You groaned, already feeling yourself shiver. "This is not what I need..." Gritting your teeth, you looked around for any extra towels, only to see Ben's hanging there. "Really, Ben?"

Sighing, you walked over to the door and slightly opened it. "Reeey?" You called out, not getting an answer. "Reeey!" Still getting no answer, you rolled your eyes. Gulping, you yelled, "Beeen!"

"Yeah?!"

Letting out a huff, your shoulders slumped, of course _he_ would answer. "Can you come here?!"

Standing up from his seat on the couch of the living room as he had been messing with Jupiter and Kylo, he aimed for the stairs, walking up and over to Reys room. "Y/n?"

"In your bathroom!" You exclaimed as Ben's brows furrowed.

Walking over to his room, he looked over to see you holding onto the door, head peeking out as water dripped down your face and hair. "What is it?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I forgot my towel...can you please get it? It's folded on the air mattress." You pleaded as Ben nodded.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Turning on his heel and leaving your sight, he instantly came back with the towel. "Here..." Walking over and handing the towel to you, you grabbed it with a smile.

"Thank you so much, I'm freezing!" Closing the door as Ben nodded, he wore a thin smile as he waved a hand.

"No...problem." Sighing, he aimed for his door, unsure if you were going to walk out in just a towel. Lucky for him, just as he was about to walk out, you opened the door again and peeked.

"Aaand I also forgot my clothes..." You sighed, Ben turning around and seeing you wrapped up in just the towel. "I would ask you to get them but I rather just change in Reys." You nodded, walking past him as his eyes followed your small figure. "Sorry about that, hope I didn't wet your floor..." Frowning at him as you held onto the door, Ben swatted a hand.

"It's nothing." With a shrug of his shoulders, you smiled, shutting the door completely to change.

Pulling on your pajamas as you went to dry your hair, you then found yourself looking at little frames Rey had throughout her room, never really noticing them before. Haphazardly putting your hair into a loose bun, you came to a stop at one of the photos, picking it up and smiling. "Cute..." Seeing Rey wrap an arm around Ben as she wore a toothy grin--although her two front teeth were missing--Ben was smiling as he had his arms wrapped around a small dog in his hold. "Chewie?"

Grinning at the image, you only placed it back down. You couldn't help but find it cute how big and messy Ben's hair was as a child, along with Rey's even if hers was short. "Y/n!" Hearing someone call your name, you walked out and over to the railing of the staircase.

"Yeah?"

"Mom and dad want to watch a movie, they're forcing me and Ben to watch it as well, you should come and suffer with me." Rey spoke as she stood at the end of the staircase.

Chuckling, you nodded. "Alright." Walking around and down the steps, you looked over to the living room to see Han and Leia on their own couch as Rey and Ben sat at the one perpendicular to their parents, both sitting on opposite ends of it. "I guess I'll sit in the middle..." You said, Ben looking up and smiling as Rey nodded.

"Please do." Rey spoke up as Ben rolled his eyes.

"No talking you three, watch the movie." Han pointed a finger as you and Rey nodded, Ben sighing, only to see a slight grin on your face as you had been looking at Han.

Throwing a hand up as he rolled his eyes, Ben groaned. "Aw, come on."

Looking over at him as he had lowly spoke, you furrowed your brows. "You okay?"

"Yeah...it's...it's the remote, it's being dumb." He nodded, placing it down as he turned his attention to the movie.

Throughout the span of the movie, Han had been speaking most of the time rather than you Rey or Ben, Leia constantly smacking his arm to shut up. Of course, it didn't stop him, but lucky for you, the movie was boring enough to knock you out.

Unlike your unconscious self, Ben had found himself bored out of his mind as Rey had left midway from being too tired, not knowing you yourself were tired and eventually fell asleep, leaning up against Ben.

Looking over the second your head pressed up against his shoulder, Bens heart flipped in his chest, a small smile appearing on his lips as the sight of you sleeping was possibly the cutest thing ever.

Shifting a little as you were trying to get comfortable, Ben felt the slightest of guilty, wanting to put you to an actual bed than uncomfortable on a couch. "Hey, I'm gonna take her upst-"

"Shh!" Han swatted a hand, not even bothering to look over.

Shrugging, Ben stood up. "Okay..." Picking you up in his arms, Leia looked over. Growing wide eyed, she grinned, hoping just enough that he'd take you to his room and not leave you on the sorry excuse of an air mattress.

Walking up the steps and holding you tight, Ben suddenly heard mumbling come from you. Narrowing his brows as he tried his best not to wake you up, he made his way over to Rey's room, crouching down and lying you on your bed.

Of course, just before he could even get up, you had grabbed a fist full of his shirt. "Mmm...don't go..." Blinking, Ben gulped. "Don't...don't go..." Loosening up your grip the slightest, Ben sat there, wide eyed and unsure what to do.

"I..." Bitting his bottom lip, he only picked you up once again and brought you to his room, lying you on his bed and tucking you in. "I'm sure you're more comfortable here." He smiled, as if you could see or hear him.

Cuddling up against a pillow, you muttered. "Stay..."

Staring at you as he blinked, he looked at the open door, then back at you. "Stay?" Watching as you wrapped your arms around the pillow, a small smile appeared on your lips.

"Ben..." Feeling his eyes widen again, he rushed over to his door and shut it, removing his sweats and quickly pulling on boxers, keeping his shirt on as he slid under the sheets with you.

Reaching out the slightest, you wrapped an arm around his waist as the pillow you had been holding onto now lied on his torso. "Ben..."

Looking over at you as he saw your eyes were still shut, no sign of you actually being awake, he settled in his spot. If you had been dreaming, then you must've been dreaming about him. And if you were, why had you been smiling?

Whatever it was, Ben was sure it was something good if you kept calling his name and telling him to stay.

. . .

Fluttering your eyes open as they instantly widened at the sight of a neck, you lied there frozen, body pressed up against Ben's as you had been lying on him. Seeing as you had an arm folded beside you and the other slid under his pillow, you blinked. Carefully shifting your focus, you had realized both of Ben's arms had loosely wrapped around your waist.

Shutting your eyes for a moment as your heart raced, you had hoped this was just a really vivid dream. And if it wasn't, what were you doing in Ben's room, lying on him?

Looking over to his nightstand as you read the time in the digital clock, you mentally cursed. Not realizing it was Monday until you had put two and two together, you sighed. Five in the morning, leaving you with a little over an hour of sleep.

Unsure of what to do as (you hate to admit it) you were comfortable in the tangled up position you were in, you held your breath.

Carefully sliding your arm out from under his pillow as you unfold the other, trying to prop yourself up, your face was now inches away from Ben's. Feeling your heart skip a beat, your throat locked as you heard him groan.

Growing still as you had feared he was waking up, his eyebrows knitted only for his eyes to fall open. Unsure of what to do, you gulped. The two of you were staring at each other--both wide-eyed.

Feeling his heart pound against his chest, Ben sucked in a breath as your cheeks began to heat up. What were you going to say? Let alone, what were you going to do?

Staying that way for quite a bit as the two of you stared at one another, unsure of what to do, you cleared your throat. "I'm sorry...I-I don't know how we ended up this way. I woke up against your chest...I must've moved in my sleep." You nearly whispered as Ben nodded. "I should go before Rey sees me gone..."

Blinking as he nodded again, Ben hadn't realized his arms were still around you until you shifted a bit. "Oh, sorry..." About to remove them, you only heard the door knob of Bens door jiggle.

Gasping in sync, Ben nearly slammed you against his chest as he pulled the covers over you, acting as if he had still been asleep. Feeling your heart race as you lied there, you heard the door open along with footsteps, in hopes whoever it was didn't move the sheets for whatever reason.

Clutching onto Ben's shirt as you held your breath, you bit your bottom lip. Not realizing the position you were now in as you shifted the slightest, your eyes widened at the feeling of something pressing up against your lower stomach. Shutting your eyes, you tried so hard not to make your heavy breathing obvious. Now wasn't the time for you to feel Ben against you, specially in the predicament you two were now in.

Peeking an eye open as he heard the door shut, Ben let out a breath before removing the sheets, you instantly popping up and gasping for air. "Who was that?" You asked.

"My mom..." He sighed, knowing very well it was her as she had left a kiss on his forehead. "She always does that when she wakes up to go to work since she won't see me for most of the day."

Smiling, you noticed you had been straddling him, eyes looking down at the position you were in, only for you to instantly hop off and stand up. "Sorry!" You whispered. "I really should go..." Pointing at his door as Ben kept himself propped up on his elbows, he nodded.

Watching you rush out and quietly shut his door, he fell back, hands moving over his crotch as he let out a small whine. He didn't mean to get hard right there and then when you had been lying on him--he felt mortified.

. . .

As the morning went by, you had gone through your same routine. Lucky for you, Ben was your ride to and from school as you had been staying at his place. In the morning as you had breakfast with Ben and Rey, you had warned him that you'd be auditioning for a play that afternoon before cheer practice. Which meant your Monday was going to be very long.

"Good luck!" Natasha waved, leaving your sight as she had already auditioned.

As much as you enjoyed cheering, you also enjoyed theater, possibly why you had it as your only elective.

Finding yourself quite anxious as you waited to be called up, you had found been thinking about the early morning events. During chemistry, every time Hux had spoken to you, your attention always trailed to a smirking Ben. Then, in history, every time you turned around to hand him something or to speak to him, he was always grinning.

Every class you had with him, he was like this and you weren't sure as to why he was so happy. Was it because you two had been asleep on the same bed? Or was it because of how flustered you were in the morning?

"Y/n y/l/n!" Hearing your name, you peeked up.

The entire time you auditioned, your mind circled around Ben. You tried and tried shoving the thought of him away but you just couldn't. He was imprinted into your thoughts.

"So...how'd it go?" Ben asked as he had picked you up from practice, you realizing he wasn't there to watch you until the last half hour.

"How did what go?" Seeing him raise a brow, you raised your own pair. "Oh! Right, Grease auditions...well, not so bad."

"Not so bad?" He furrowed his eyebrows, you nodding. "I'm sure you did fine."

"Why's that?" You chuckled as you walked alongside him, over to his car.

"I heard you singing in the shower this morning, you've got a voice on you." Ben pointed out as he held onto your cheer bag, you only blushing as you smiled.

"Thanks, but that's nothing." Hearing him scoff, you looked up. "What?"

"If that's 'nothing' then I can only imagine what the real thing is like." Unlocking the passenger door, you walked around to get inside, Ben placing your bag in the trunk as he aimed for the drivers seat. "You've got the voice of an angel." He winked as you rolled your eyes.

"Oh, shut up."

For the rest of the week you had decided that--even though it was pretty late in the day--you'd join Ben in going to Maz's. At least, when he was working. For the next five days, Ben constantly insisted you not to as you'd be 'bored' or 'too tired', but you still did.

And you enjoyed it.

The first day you had got there, Maz had assigned you the booth towards the back the second she had met you, fishing you with compliments and giving you warm smiles since you were her "favorite boys best friend."

Maz was the absolute sweetest, you truly adored her and appreciated her company. The first time you had ordered a shake, she insisted it'd be on the house if she were to see you more often--which, she did.

You had gone every day with Ben and sat at the same booth for five days in a row, Maz claiming it your own and not allowing anyone to touch it or sit there. She reserved it specifically for you.

There were times during Bens break that he'd bring you your daily shake that you had found yourself sharing with him. At first, you were a bit shy at the fact, but eventually you grew accustomed. As if it were nothing that you two sometimes went to take a sip at the same time. Even if that meant awkward eye contact.

Rushing down the hall as you had told Rey you'd leave study hall earlier to see the call back, you nearly slid as you turned a corner, running over to the bulletin board as you clutched onto your hips.

"C'mon, c'mon..." Looking for the call back sheet, your eyes landed on the large font that printed 'Grease'. "Okay...if you don't make it, that's okay. If you do then...then you do." You shrugged as you took in a deep breath, shutting your eyes. "You've got this." Reopening them, your eyes instantly landed on your name--the first one on the list. "AH!" You squealed, jumping in excitement as you then trailed your finger across the dotted line. "Sandy?! No way!"

Turning away to fan your face and catch your breath, you had the urge to call your mother and yell in excitement at how you couldn't believe you got the lead role. But, before you did anything, you wondered who Danny would be portrayed by.

"Who'll be my Danny?" Looking under Sandy as you saw Danny, you followed the dotted line with your finger, looking at the person who got the role. "And the lucky winner is..." Stopping your finger, your eyes nearly popped out of your skull. "BEN?!"

Shaking your head as you blinked, you looked closer. In bold and capital letters it, indeed, said Benjamin Solo.

"Wh...what?! Ben?! Ben Solo?! As-as Danny?!" Taking a step back, you only rushed away, trying to find the man himself. Since when did he want to tryout? And when did he even audition?

Running down the halls as you knew (since practice was cancelled) you'd be meeting up with Ben soon enough, your frantic self rammed into someone. Feeling a pair of hands push you back as you panted, you heard a familiar laugh. "You alright?"

Shooting your head up, you only shoved Ben back. "What the hell, Benjamin?!"

Furrowing his brows, he lowered his arms. "Uh...what did I do?"

"What _didn't_ you do! You auditioned for Grease?! And never told me! Then got the role of Danny! Danny, Ben, you're Danny!" Seeing his brows raise, he only shrugged.

"Hmm...I thought I would get-"

"Thought?! You're-you're serious?! You never thought to tell me that you'd audition?!" You exclaimed as Ben held onto your face before smiling.

"Relax, kid, it's just a play." Slumping your shoulders, you rolled your eyes with a sigh. "I thought I'd surprise you." Winking at you, your heart melted.

"Ugh...fine." You pouted the slightest.

"Since I haven't seen the call back sheet yet, who'd you get? I know for a fact you got a role." He nodded as you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks.

Taking in a deep breath, you averted your eyes. "I got sandy..."

Growing wide eyed, Ben grinned. "That's great! You're Sandy! We'll have a lot of scenes together, then." Kissing your forehead, he moved his hands from your cheek, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as your heart felt the need to pop out of your chest. "It's gonna be fun."

"This is why you were smiling at me the whole day..." You muttered as Ben smirked.

"Totally, I even watched you audition from the way back of the auditorium." Gasping as Ben walked alongside you, out of the school and to his car, you let out a breath. "Like I said, this will be fun."

"So much fun..."

. . .

"I still can't believe you auditioned without telling me!" You grinned, sitting on a stool as Ben picked up the last bit of the dinner. It was Friday night and Maz had asked for him to close up the diner this time around. "Just thinking about it, I probably would've been less anxious knowing you were watching."

Watching as you spun in the seat, Ben laughed. "I'm sure either way you would've been fine, after all, you did get Sandy." He pointed a finger as he cleaned the last table, finally done for the evening as he had restocked and set up the diners tables once again for the next day.

"Which is insane, I mean, I don't doubt my capabilities to sing and act but...I didn't think I was _that_ good..." Standing up from your spot as Ben removed his apron and tossed the rag into a bucket as he nudged for you to follow him.

"Well, they must've thought you were phenomenal to have given you the lead role." He smiled over at you as you softly smiled back, feeling a tingling sensation in your stomach as butterflies began attacking at it.

"Likewise, seeing as you got the other lead role, may I remind you." You raised a brow as you patted his back, Ben grabbing his wallet and phone from being held in a drawer, shutting it after. "Since, apparently you don't only just sing but you also act. The more my own best friend surprises me the more I question this friendship."

Looking over to see you shaking your head with crossed arms, he only rolled his eyes. "Oh, get over it, it's always nice to unveil new qualities of your friends...no matter how long you've known them."

Sighing, you unfolded your arms. "I mean...I guess." Hearing Ben snicker, you smiled. "Come on, let's go home, I'm tired."

Hearing the word 'home' come out of your mouth made Ben's heart expand, it almost felt as if the two of you had lived together for how long you had been there--even if you only had one whole day left with him before you left that Sunday. "Alright, lets go." Grabbing the spare diner keys as Maz kept the original, you and Ben walked out the back door.

"I was thinking that tomorrow we should go to the Fall Festival." You spoke up. "I believe it opened today so it would be great to go tomorrow night!" You eagerly nodded as Bens stomach turned at the thought of the first time you two went, nostalgia kicking in.

"That would be great, I'm up for it." He nodded, walking alongside you, over to his car until he came to a complete stop. "Ah, dammit, I left my keys inside." Seeing him huff, you stood there. "I'll be right back, alright?"

Nodding your head, you watched Ben rush off. Sticking your hands into the pocket of your jacket as the temperature had dropped; you regretted not bringing a change of clothes as you still were in your uniform, the knee socks not doing you much justice as you wish you had thigh highs instead.

Looking up at the night sky as the bright moon beamed down along with twinkling stars, you smiled the slightest at the peaceful sight. You always enjoyed the night views and what nature and space had to offer, it was absolutely breathtaking.

Shifting your attention back ahead as you turned from facing the moon, your breath hitched as a gasp escaped your parted lips. Blinking rapidly as you stood there frozen, your body instantly shook at the sight of a gun being pointed directly at you. "What's a pretty little girl like you doing all alone out here?" The man grinned, your stomach turning at the sight.

Unable to form words as your lips trembled, he only eyed you, lips curling up at the sight of your attire. "And in school uniform...you must be _very_ young then." Knitting your brows as you feared the worst, you wanted to run inside, but by the way the man held the gun to your forehead, you knew you'd be dead the second you flinched.

"You don't speak much, do you? What a shame, you're a quiet one. I would've taken you as a screamer." He licked his lips, making you want to gag as your eyes began to water up in fear. "How about I spare your life if you come with me?"

Moving your focus from the man, over to the gun, within seconds the weapon was knocked out of your line of vision as the sound of a bullet being fired startled you. Flinching in your spot at the sound, the man instantly grunted as a fist collided with his jaw, practically being sucker punched and knocking him unconscious.

Breathing heavy as you had been holding your breath the entire time, your eyes slowly trailed over to Ben who grabbed the gun and emptied the bullets into his hand, tossing the weapon to a side as he threw the few bullets in his grip.

Vibrating in your spot, Bens eyes moved from the direction the bullets went in as they mixed within bushes and trees, over to your startled self. Rushing over, he held onto your face and eyed you. "He didn't do anything to you?" Shaking your head, Ben lowered his arms and pulled you into his chest as he held tightly, you only crying out as your aching heart thudded against your chest, Ben feeling it against him. "I'm right here...I'm here." Cooing you as he gently rubbed the back of your head, you clutched fistfuls of his uniforms top, never wanting to let go. "You're okay, alright? I've got you, you're safe."

Letting you cool off as you bawled into his chest, Ben walked you over to his car and sat you, running to the drivers side and starting the car. The entire ride to his house he held your hand, thumb rubbing the skin on the back of it as a soothing mechanism.

You were quiet and shaken up, but you were more than thankful to have Ben there by your side now. If he hadn't shown up when he had, you weren't sure if you would've been dead from running or kidnapped. At this point, you didn't want think about it, all you wanted to do was be held by Ben.

You felt the most safe in his arms.


	16. Do Me A Favour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Do Me A Favour by Arctic Monkeys | Pretty angsty, but not all that much!

"And you didn't call the police?!" Leia exclaimed, hands on either of your upper arms as she rubbed them. "Ben, you should've done something about it, the person for all we know is out there waiting for their next victim!"

Sighing, Ben shook his head as he went to the freezer, pulling out something cold to place on his knuckles. "Mom, I punched the living sh-" Seeing Leia raise a brow, he cleared his voice. "I punched the living hell out of the sicko and disarmed him, mind you, removed the bullets as well."

"Really?" She questioned, raising a brow again.

"Yes, he punched them hard enough to knock them unconscious." You spoke up, still slightly shaking from the incident.

Taking in a deep breath, Leia nodded. "All that matters right now is that you go get some rest, alright? If you need anything, you can always come to me." Leia gave you a warm smile as you nodded, Rey sitting beside you and patting your leg as reassurance as she smiled.

"I...I don't want to sleep alone..." You quietly spoke up, looking down at your hands as Ben looked over to you, heart sinking at the sight of how scared you seemed.

"You could sleep with me?" Snapping her head in his direction, Rey's brows scrunched up as she shook her head. "I mean, she wouldn't let go of my hand the entire ride here, she probably feels secure around me..."

Looking over, Leia shrugged the slightest. "You did get her out of the situation."

Too busy focusing on your own heart beat and the flashbacks of the event, you didn't bother to have time to freak out over him offering for you to sleep with him. It was enough it had happened twice, a third time couldn't hurt. "Why would she? She could sleep with me?" Rey spoke up.

"Rey, I think it's best. What if she wakes up with nightmares?" Leia looked over to her daughter. "Now, I wouldn't usually condone such thing but you two are best friends and wouldn't do anything stupid." She directed her words over to Ben before looking back at you. "Y/n, honey, would you want that?"

Taking in light breaths, you slowly nodded; a small smile grew on Ben's lips as he walked over to you. "Come on, you must be exhausted." Sticking out his hand, you grabbed onto it as you stood up, walking hand and hand with him as he grabbed your bags, taking you to his room.

"Mom, seriously?!" Rey loudly whispered. "She has a _boyfriend_."

"At this time that doesn't matter, Rey. Was Hux there to help her out? I don't think so." Turning on a heel, Leia walked off as Rey huffed. She knew very well her mother was right and there was no point to argue.

Feeling your knees tremble beneath you, your grip on Ben's hand was quite tight the entire walk to his room. You didn't want to let go, for some reason you were afraid if you had something would happen--even if you were in safe grounds. "You can shower if you want and the bed is all yours..." He stated as he placed your bags down in his room rather than Rey's.

Nodding your head, you went to grab clothes from Rey's room, only to pull him with you as you didn't want to let go. Ben was well aware as to why you didn't want to, and he wasn't complaining, if that made you feel safe then that was okay with him.

Reaching to grab your change of clothes as Ben watched, his eyes landed on your underwear, only to look away. _Now isn't the time, Solo_. "I'm sorry that I'm being so clingy...it's just-"

"No, no...it's fine, whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe. I'm okay with it." He gave you a warm smile as you nodded, the two of you walking back to his room as you aimed for his bathroom, slowly letting go as if you were apprehensive. "Hey, nothing will happen to you in there, alright? I'll be right here, you'll be okay." He nodded as you sucked in a breath, nodding back.

"Okay..." Turning around and entering the bathroom, you shut the door but didn't even bother to lock it. Even if there was no way someone could possibly take you from Ben's shower, you were still on edge and your mind was all over the place.

Taking your time to undress and enter the shower, rather slowly washing yourself, the images flashed before you; the gun being pointed to your head, the creepy grin the man wore, the awful things he had said. You were mortified.

Breathing heavy as you felt yourself panic, the tears pooled up in your eyes as you shook your head, trying so hard to convince yourself that you were fine and that nothing happened to you; but your mind was already losing it. Feeling yourself become anxious, you shook your head as you cried out. "B...Ben!" It felt almost as if you were reliving it, this time you actually had the voice an will to scream. "Ben!"

Jumping up from sitting on his bed, tossing his phone to a side as he heard you scream, he rushed over. Shoving the door open to the rather foggy room, he quickly grabbed your towel. "Y/n?" Carefully pulling the shower curtain, he saw you sitting there, legs pulled in to your chest as you rocked yourself. Shutting off the water, he quickly wrapped the towel around you. "Hey, hey...I'm here, you're fine."

Hearing his voice, you looked up and quickly pulled him into a hug, sitting on the edge of the tub as Ben sat on his knees, you crying into his shoulder as he rubbed your back. "Shh...it's okay, I'm right here..."

Rushing up to his room and over to his bathroom, Rey and Leia stood there, watching as you clutched onto Ben as he held tightly onto you. "It's alright...you're okay, you're safe."

Taking in a deep breath as she watched to the two of you, Rey looked over to her mother staring back at her as if she were saying 'I told you so.'

"Why don't we get you dressed and then you can go lie down with Ben." Leia spoke up, walking over to the two of you as you looked up and nodded.

Helping you stand up as you held tightly onto the towel, Ben gently let go of you before walking out of the bathroom, Rey standing beside him. "What happened?" She asked.

"I don't know, she probably had a panic attack." He nodded as Rey let out a breath.

"At least you were here." Walking off as Ben watched her go, he let out a sigh.

. . .

The second you had gotten under the sheets on Ben's bed, you felt bad for being so attached, deciding to sleep with your back facing him. Unsure as to why you did that, Ben let you be, that is until you fell asleep and started to whimper. Waking up to the sound of you crying, Ben sat up, gently rocking you awake, realizing it wasn't doing anything. "Y/n, hey, y/n! It's just a dream!"

Seeing as you weren't waking up, Ben turned you around to face him. "Y/n wake up, it's a dream! You're okay, you're safe and you're with me!" Rocking you as he spoke, your eyes fluttered open as you panted, quickly wiping the tears away, that is until you realized Ben was right there--the first thing in your line of vision.

Pulling you into his chest as he lied beside you, your ear pressed up against it as you heard his heart beat, making your own steady out from rapidly pounding. Sucking in a breath as you held onto him, an arm wrapped around him as it held onto his back while his arms wrapped around you. You practically breathed him in, the smell of vanilla cocoa making it feel like his arms were your home.

"I'm sorry..." You muttered as his grip around you tightened the slightest.

"Don't, please don't apologize." He whispered back, one hand pressing your head close to his chest as the other on your waist. "If you need me, I'm here for you."

Nodding your head as you felt the last few tears slip, you tried your best to clear out the awful nightmare that was reality, replacing it with the fact that you had someone like Ben in your life. "Thank you." You spoke up. "For protecting me."

Taking in a deep breath, Ben kissed the top of your head as he began rubbing your back. "Always."

Wearing a small smile as you felt yourself easing into his hold, the sleep your body wanted slowly crept back over you, the two of you eventually falling back to sleep just like that--and staying in that exact position--until the morning.

It must've been that, because you were in Bens arms, you barely dreamt about anything, specially your encounter. You were thankful. You'd rather dream about 'nothing' than something traumatizing and you were more than thankful that Ben suggested you sleep the night with him--you needed it.

Lucky for you, you had woken up feeling less anxious and more thankful to the fact that you were safe and no longer in harms way no thanks to Ben. And you had to keep that in mind. You were afraid that the thought of your encounter was going to haunt you for quite a while--which you knew it would--but you didn't want it to overcome you.

Sitting with your back pressed up against Ben's own as you had taken a magazine from Rey's room, flipping through it while Ben had been writing songs for his band, you had found yourself in the most calming positions. The sound of his voice and the strumming of his guitar was something quite heavenly--at least for you. You just wished you could have days like this and not just _one_ day.

"Oh my god, they still have it!" You exclaimed, Ben stopping mid strum as he looked over his shoulder, you instantly turning around and wrapping your arms over his shoulders to show him the magazine. "I've been wanting that necklace for the longest of times and I've been begging Hux for it but he never seems to want to buy it." You frowned, pointing at the silver crescent moon pendant that hung on the chain.

"Why won't he? It isn't like it's all that expensive and it would be a nice gift." Ben shrugged. "Specially since it's on discount."

"Because..." Huffing, you removed your arms and sat beside him. "He thinks it's pointless, that he could buy me something better--which he has not." You lifted up a finger as you pointed out. "I don't want to sound materialistic or anything, but it's always nice to be randomly surprised by a gift from you significant other, y'know? They've gotta pay attention to things like this." You patted the magazine before lying it beside you, sighing and resting your head on Ben's shoulder. "I just love the moon and want a moon necklace, is that too much to ask?"

Placing his guitar down as he had shook his head, he patted your knee. "Maybe Hux will buy you a lab set for chemistry. How romantic is that?" He teased as you rolled your eyes.

"Don't even joke, he probably would." You groaned, sitting back up as you watched Jupiter and Kylo walk in.

"It's alright, maybe tonight I can win you another stuffed toy to make up for the loss in cute gifts Hux hasn't given you." Ben winked as you smiled.

"Nothing can replace Benny the bunny." You pointed a finger as he nodded.

"Of course not." He smiled as he stood up, pinching your cheek. "He's the only gift that matters." Watching him walk over to the pair of cats, you smiled. Moments like these you appreciated.

. . .

"Hey, where's Ben?" You asked Rey, walking along with Kylo on your shoulder as Jupiter had been fast asleep in Ben's room. "We're supposed to go to the Fall Festival very soon and I haven't seen him."

"Oh, he said he had to stop by the diner to help Maz with something." Rey stated, sitting on the couch and watching TV as you furrowed your brows.

"Since when?"

"An hour or two ago, he left when you were showering." Nodding your head, you sat next to Rey.

"Ahh, sorry, I'm back." Looking over to see Ben, you smiled. "Maz needed me to help move and find a few things." He nodded before rushing up the stairs. "Don't think I forgot about tonight!" He called out to you.

"Psht, I can't believe I'm not going." Rey crossed her arms as the the doorbell to the house suddenly rung.

"I'll get it, saves you the trouble of getting up." You teased, walking over to the front door, opening it and being greeted by a girl with hair as dark as night and eyes as blue as the ocean. "Uh, hello?"

"Kylo!" She exclaimed, looking st the cat on your shoulder as he instantly hissed, pressing up against you.

"Sorry, who are you?" You questioned as the young woman took a step forward.

"This has to Ben's house, Jesse told me it was." She spoke as you looked at her in confusion.

"Y/n, who is it?!" Rey called out.

"Uh...a friend of Ben's I guess?" Looking at the girl as she stood there with a wide grin, she allowed herself in as your brows narrowed even more.

"Wow, so this is his place. It's crazy big." She nodded, you eyeing her attire as she simply wore insanely tight black jeans along with a burgundy crop top that was sleeveless, you wonder how she wasn't cold with the weather dropping outside.

"Excuse me but, who are you?" You asked as she turned around, long hair nearly whacking your face.

"Oh, Liliana. Ben never mentioned me?" Shaking your head slowly, she swatted her hand. "Typical Ben."

"Y/n, I'm sorry, we can go now." Walking down the stairs and over to the front, Ben came to a stop.

"Ben!" Liliana exclaimed as you blinked, her voice going too high for your liking.

"Oh...hey Lili." He smiled as she nearly tackled him in a hug, Ben awkwardly hugging back.

"It's so great to see you!" She smiled, touching his hair and narrowing her brows. "You cut your hair? And styled it differently..."

"Yeah, I kinda had to with the new school..." He nodded as you stood there, petting Kylo.

"Speaking of new school, I moved down here." She nodded as Ben's brows raised. "Yeah, Im starting Y.O.D.A. on Monday!"

Feeling your shoulders drop as you hadn't noticed Ben's did as well, you sighed once again. "Oh, really? That's-that's great!"

"Yeah, it's exciting. Although I ditched Jesse and Sam, I have you and that's all that matters." Her voice lightly lowered as your nose scrunched up.

"I don't want to ruin the reunion but, Ben?" Looking over at him as he looked back at you, he nodded.

"Right, sorry Lili, y/n and I have plans to go to this festival-"

"Festival? Oh, I totally wanna go!" Feeling your jaw drop, you quickly closed your mouth as you placed Kylo down.

"Uh-"

"I'll follow you guys there!" She nodded as you gulped. Five minutes into knowing the girl and you couldn't stand her already. "By the way, who is she?" Lili pointed at you as if you couldn't hear or see her.

"Y/n, Ben's best friend from middle school." You forced a smile as she looked at you, Ben letting out a small breath.

"Oh, cool." Walking past you without a care, she looked over at Ben. "Can't wait to hang!" Seeing her walk out, your eye twitch.

"Let's go." Ben nudged his head.

You never thought your plans would be ruined by what you liked to call the third wheel. From the second you got to the festival to the second you bought your tickets, Lili took Ben's attention the entire time. Every time you went to ask to sit with him, Lili put herself first.

After a while, it grew old and you decided to let it be seeing as she was a friend of Ben's who hadn't seen him for quite some time and probably wanted to catch up. So, you went your own way for a bit, playing a few games, greeting a few old teachers as they introduced you to some students. It was all great until you realized you had come with someone else and not alone.

"Miss Kenobi...what a wonderful surprise we have here. Are you visiting or are you trying to accumulate some service hours?" Recognizing the voice, your brows raised, amazed that the man talking was still alive.

"Mr. Tarkin...what a pleasant surprise." You turned around, seeing the man standing there. "Pestering kids for their tardiness?"

"No, of course not, you were the only one I truly had that problem with." He smiled as you rolled your eyes.

"Go figure." You huffed, crossing your arms. "What are you doing here, then?"

"I enjoy these events, I help set them up. Plus, I get to bother a few bad seeds." Letting out a small chuckle, you nodded.

"That is very much like you, Mr. Tarkin. I wouldn't doubt it."

Nodding his head as he over-looked the crowd, he spoke up. "Did you come alone? Or did you come with that Solo boy."

Gulping the slightest, your brows narrowed. "H-"

"I saw him pass by earlier. He has changed drastically I see, and he has a girlfriend now? How wonderful for him...although I assumed you'd be the one but I am sure you are with Hux now." Looking back at you, he raised a brow. "Correct?"

Tilting your head the slightest as your eyebrows narrowed, you only raised them. "Correct...crazy how you know, but, yes. At least for Hux and I."

"I may be old and stuck up, but I am well aware of my surroundings and the young ones around me. You all are predictable, things will change, they always do. And for the better." He stated as you took a small step back. "You don't have to believe me, but I speak the truth."

"Thank you, Mr. Tarkin for your...wise words, I think I'll head back to the fun." Walking off, you let out a deep breath. How did he know such things? Let alone, why would he say them?

Walking over to one of the booths, you paid for a single game and mindlessly played, finding yourself bored out of your mind as you knew you wouldn't have any Ben for the evening. At this point, you couldn't care less if you had left, it was clear you weren't wanted. What made it worse was as if Ben hadn't tried to get out of it, let alone, pull you back in.

Tossing the rings as you found yourself bummed out, a bell rang as the worker walked up to you. "Congrats, you made all the hoops around the bottle necks, you get our biggest prize." Turning your attention over, all you saw was a giant stuffed bunny in your line of vision.

"Oh, jeez...that's huge." You chuckled, picking it up. "Thank you." Walking away, you turned to see Ben and Lili.

Hearing Lili ramble on as his eyes searched the area, Ben instantly smiled. "Y/n!" He called out, waving to you.

Sighing, you walked over. "Hey."

"Where have you been? I wanted to ride some rides with you and play a few games but it seems you beat me to it..." He stated, looking at the giant stuffed bunny.

"Oh, yeah, bottlenecks...I beat the game and got the biggest prize." Sticking your arms out, Lili only raised a brow. "Here, keep it." You smiled.

"B-"

"Please, I have Benny, you have...y/n/n." You chuckled as Ben smiled, Lili only rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Benny, why don't we do the twirl n swirl!" Lili spoke up as she interlocked her arm with his, turning his attention to the ride.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Ben nodded as you narrowed your eyes. That was your and Ben's ride; the one ride _you_ should at least ride with him was that. But, you were too bitter to say anything, let alone, too annoyed.

"Hey, I'm getting tired, I'm gonna head back." You spoke, Ben quickly turning around.

"Wait, no. You can't go, this was our-"

"You two have fun, I'm gonna take the bus back." You lightly smiled with a wave, turning around and walking off.

"Y/n, wait!" Ben called, Lili only dragging him off as you kept on going, looking over for a moment and huffing.

You knew this was just the beginning. Specially since she moved to D'Qar.

Waiting at the bus stop, you felt yourself the slightest of hurt. Finally, after so long, you were able to go back to where it all started...only to have someone snatch the fun away from you. You just wanted to enjoy the festival with Ben, get your mind off of things, but things didn't seem to want to go your way.

Seeing the bus come around, you climbed on and took the second to last seat, sitting next to the window as you felt yourself completely drained of happiness. "Hey."

Furrowing your brows, you sat up. "Yeah, you." Hearing the voices speak up, you looked over your shoulder. "Hello."

"Um, hi?" You awkwardly waved.

"I told you she wouldn't notice us." The one on the left spoke.

"Shut up, I thought she would since she's popular." The one on the right stated, smacking the others arm.

"I'm sorry, what's going on?" You asked.

"We always take this bus, and you seem to as well. Not all the time, but you do tend to. And we always see you-"

"That sounds creepy-"

"Shh! Anyways, I'm Mason and he's Alex. We go to Y.O.D.A. too, we sit behind you in chemistry-"

"I have you for history." Alex added.

"And we've tend to notice that you come on the bus pretty sad." Mason pointed out. "Quite often, actually."

"Oh...it's-it's stupid..." You swatted a hand.

"Really? Because you would've thought after seeing a small concert you'd be happy."

"Huh?" You looked at Alex.

"Knights of Ren, we were there too and so happened to leave at the same time you had. We were on the bus and saw you." He nodded.

"Oh...jeez. Yeah, things have been rough lately but it's all right." You partially lied.

"Im telling you, it's that Hux guy-"

"Nah, I think it's Solo-"

"Probably both." Watching the two go back and forth, you shook your head.

"Uh, as much as I appreciate the concern it's a tad bit creepy when you know a little too much..." Turning back ahead, the two spoke up in unison.

"Sorry!" Shaking your head, you smiled the slightest. At least they weren't that bad.

. . .

Gathering all of your things and packing up, you decided you were a bit too homesick and couldn't wait another night to get back into your own room and your own bed. And, the fact that you just didn't want to deal with Ben until monday as you felt awkward around that Lili girl, you at least needed something to give you a good reason to leave early.

It wasn't like you were mad at him, you were just disappointed in the lack of effort. He had seemed so excited when you first planned it, but then the day had come and the two of you did nothing together.

Sighing, you grabbed what was yours in Ben's room, moving back to Reys and stuffing it into your bag. Cleaning up your area and gathering the pillows and blanket you used in the air mattress, something instantly clattered on the floor.

Putting your pillow down, you picked up the long, white rectangular box and narrowed your brows. Was that Rey's? It definitely wasn't yours, so how did it end up on the air mattress?

Opening it up, your eyes widened as you gasped. "He did not..." Seeing the crescent moon necklace, your shoulders slumped. " _Ben_..." Feeling your heart throb as your stomach turned, you stood back up and went to place the necklace on.

You couldn't believe that not even a day later, rather hours, he got you the necklace you wanted. You had only mentioned it once to him and it took him two seconds to get it for you, whereas for Hux it had been months and still nothing. But why would Ben buy it for you? As much as you felt bad, it sort of made up for the time lost that evening, although you were still disappointed.

Picking up your bags and dragging them out of Rey's room, Leia spoke over to you. "It was wonderful having you over," She smiled, "I'm sorry that you feel homesick, I'm sure I would too if I've been gone for almost ten days."

Looking over at her as you lightly smiled, you walked over to give her a hug. "Thank you, I appreciated it." Letting go of her as you took a step back, she nodded.

"Anytime. Do you need a ride home?" She asked.

"Oh, no, I'll take the bus." You swatted a hand. "It's still pretty early, tell Rey I'll see her Monday." With a smile, you walked back over to Rey's getting your purse, then moving over to Ben's room to pick up Jupiter as she had been fast asleep next to Kylo on Ben's bed. "Sorry, Jup."

Walking back out, you went to drag your things towards the stairs, only to see Ben walking up, not even hearing the front door open. "Y/n? Where are you going?" He furrowed his brows.

"Back home, I'm getting really homesick and I rather at least spend tonight in my bed." You nodded, slightly lying. Of course you couldn't tell him that you were leaving because you were jealous, that was absolutely ridiculous.

"Really? I thought you were leaving tomorrow night?" He asked, lightly frowning as you took in a small breath.

"Yeah...I'm sorry, but thank you for everything." You nodded with a smile, going to pick up your bags but Ben had beat you to it.

"At least let me give you a ride home..." Walking down the steps and toward the front, you shook your head.

"It's alright, I'll take the bus." Seeing him narrow his brows, he let down your bags. "Ben, please, you've done enough."

"One more ride couldn't hurt...I don't want you going out with these bags in a bus at this time of night." He stated with a concerning look.

"I understand, but-"

"I'll take you home." He interrupted as you sighed. "I could also stay the night if you want so you're not alone?"

"Oh, no, it's fine." You swatted a hand. "Hux is staying the night, he'll come over in an hour. He's got some family business he's dealing with now." You lied as Ben's facial expression nearly dropped. There goes Hux back into the picture when Ben nearly had forgotten him.

"Oh...alright. Well, I'll take you home, I don't need a repeat of last night." Turning around, he opened the front door and grabbed your bags, walking out.

Sucking in a breath as you felt terrible for lying, you knew for a fact if you had Ben over one night alone, things wouldn't end up well. Even if deep down you wanted him to be beside you, specially after the previous night and how he made you feel so safe.


	17. Brown Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Brown Eyes by Lady Gaga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> much angst ahead

Lying on your side as you held Benny close to your chest, you could feel fresh tears trickling down your face, across your nose and plopping onto your pillow. The entire ride to your place was quite, nothing but the sound of his mixtape playing as you sat there with your knees pulled in, Jupiter asleep in between you and Ben. There was such tension in between the two of you that you felt you couldn't breathe.

You had nothing to say, what were you supposed to even speak of anyway? You definitely weren't going to ask him how the festival went, you were beyond that at this point. It was as if there was nothing to even say to him besides thanking him for being there for you the night before and the ride he had given you. How could you possibly say you couldn't stand Lili when you had _just_ met her? Let alone, when she was Ben's friend.

The feeling inside of you was suffocating, you hated how your gut was telling you the distance was growing wide once again, you couldn't fathom to believe it. But with how there was a new factor in the way, you slowly began to.

The tears were burning in your eyes, you could feel them and you didn't want him to know. Possibly why you kept your attention outside the window and why your goodbye was so quick. The second he had taken your bags out of the trunk while you had opened the door to let Jupiter in, was the second you knew you weren't going to be see attentive.

After Ben had brought the bags in and up to your room, you two stood in silence, you gulping before breaking it as you said you were tired, thanking him for everything as he nodded. Pulling you into a tight embrace, you took in a shaky breath as you hugged back, then letting go as you gave him a small smile before saying goodbye.

Little did you know Ben could feel the distance as well--and he hated it. But what could he do? He was the slightest of oblivious as to what the factor was so he pushed it to aside, assuming everything was going to be alright.

Taking in a deep breath as you held onto the chain, you had hoped that your gut wasn't right.

. . .

Spending the whole sunday doing absolutely nothing, aside from your laundry which didn't take you more than an hour, you found yourself moping around. If you weren't watching tv, you tried reading, and if you weren't reading you listened to music. But you got bored easily and everything you did lasted for a short period of time--even practicing for cheerleading and the upcoming play.

Sighing, you found yourself sitting on the bean bag by your balcony, looking out the window and watching the fall rain drizzle down as you knew the cold was soon to come. You hated how much you had been left with your thoughts, it had gotten the best of you.

All you thought about was how you and Ben had nothing but problems since he came back. It felt as if your friendship was destined to be ruined and you were the trigger. The feeling of being at blame ate you alive, you felt as if you hadn't been kind enough or maybe you just pushed him away too much. Whatever it was, it was bothering you to no end and you were disappointed.

Disappointed how the one person you grew to adore and truly appreciated was the one person your life didn't want you to be associated with. Or so it seemed.

Hearing the front door unlock along with mumbling and luggage rolling, you quickly stood up as you wiped your tears, rushing over to your dressers mirror to see you were fine. "C'mon, Jup." You patted your thigh as you walked out of your room, the white cat following.

"Honey, you're home already?" Your mother asked as you had reached the bottom step of the stairs, nodding. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh, last night. I was home sick and wanted to come back already, couldn't wait a day." You nodded.

"Did you stay alone?" She asked.

"Yeah, Rey was out with Finn and Poe so I couldn't really ask her. Of course I wasn't going to bring Hux over so that wasn't a choice." You stated as your dad scoffed.

"Thank god she didn't bring that Ben over." Swatting his arm, your mother shook her head.

"You could've asked Natasha." Your mother stated as you simply swatted a hand.

"I didn't want to bother anyone with last minute plans, plus, I was fine." You lied. You barely slept the night, constantly tossing and turning as the thunder outside kept you wide awake--along with your thoughts.

"Oh, alright. Well, your father brought pizza for dinner since I'm too exhausted to cook, so enjoy." She smiled, giving you a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before bringing her bags up to the second floor.

"How was your stay at the Solos?" Your father asked.

"It was fun, I had a good time." You nodded. "There was one point Rey and I tried pulling an all nighter in her living room and her dad found us completely knocked out on the couches the next morning so we failed at that." You chuckled, not mentioning how it was on a school day and the two of you were completely drained the next day.

"That sounds fun, what else did you do?" He asked, getting plates so you could serve yourself.

"The mall, the pool...basic fun things. We mostly stayed in and, you know, went to school." Nodding your head, your father chuckled.

"Right. Well, Paris was lovely and I know you'll enjoy it whenever you go. Maybe we'll take you, your mother loved it." He stated as you smiled. "But, we missed being in our own bed and I kept worrying about you but your mother assured me you were okay since you were under Leia's roof." Shaking your head, your chuckled. "Other than that, I'm glad to be home and I'm glad to see this pretty face!" He exclaimed as he looked at Jupiter, you rolling your eyes as he went to pick her up.

"I have a prettier one, thank you." You narrowed your eyes.

"I know, I helped make you." Gasping as you shook your head, your father kissed the top of your head before leaving your sight.

Smiling to yourself as you went to eat, you took in a small breath. _At least there was Paris._

. . .

The fact that you had been gone when Rey had returned home from hanging out with Poe and Finn was a bummer. At first, she had blamed Ben for it since he was possibly the only factor, but when he had told her you were feeling homesick, she found that to be more reasonable. But, she was still disappointed that you weren't there to at least hangout the last day.

Putting the air mattress away and tidying up her room, Rey raised a brow as she had been cleaning under the bed, finding a slightly unfollowed underwear that wasn't hers. "Seriously, y/n, how could you forget this?" Seeing as it was slightly folded, she assumed it had been cleaned, grabbing a plastic back and placing the red, partially laced, underwear in it. "Now I gotta give you your underwear in school." Shaking her head as she hung the bag on her door knob, Ben walked in.

"Hey has-" Cutting himself off, Ben raised a brow. "What's that?" Looking at the bag, Rey shrugged before turning around and putting a few things away.

"Y/n left her underwear so I'll tell her to pick it up or something." Rey stated as Ben's eyes widened, looking at Rey, then the bag, then back at Rey before peaking into the bag and feeling his face grow hot. "She's pretty organized so I'm sure she'll notice she forgot it." Turning back around, Ben instantly moved away from the bag and moved his hand to the back of his neck. If it was still there when Rey wasn't around, he may just take it. "So, what is it that you were asking me?"

"Oh...yeah." Trailing back to what he had to say before, his mood dropped. "Has y/n talked to you at all today? She only messaged me once saying that she's fine because I was a bit worried with her staying with Hux for the night."

"Why would you be worried? At least she's with someone who's her boyfriend." She insisted as Ben rolled his eyes. "I mean, it was nice of you to offer and all but-"

"Has she or has she not?" He interrupted as he didn't want to hear what his sister had to say. "It's a simple yes or no."

Sighing as she rolled her eyes, Rey shook her head. "Barely, just a few things here and there, responding hours later. Maybe she's busy?"

"I doubt it if she knew she was going to be here rather than there yesterday." Ben pointed out as Rey nodded in agreement.

"Plus Hux left in the morning, so..." Rey stated as Ben let out a sigh before nodding.

"Alright, thanks." Walking out of her room and over to his, Leia came to a stop as she had been walking to the staircase, seeing how glum her son had looked.

Walking over and knocking at his now closed door, Ben opened it only to give her a small smile. "Is everything alright?" Leia asked, Ben taking a little too long to respond.

"Yeah, everything's fine." He nodded, Leia knowing very well he was lying.

"Ben..." She trailed, raising a brow as he sighed, turning around to sit on his bed as Leia walked in. "What is it? Tell me."

"A lot on my mind..." He sighed, rubbing his face as Leia sat next to him. "School, grades, social life...myself...you know, the usual Ben Solo problems."

Nodding her head, Leia watched as her son hunched over, arms lying on his thighs. "I see..."

"Yeah, and this girl I was friends with back in my old school moved here." He looked over at his mother as she raised her brows.

"Oh, that's nice." She nodded.

"Yeah...she's just...a bit too clingy. She's nice and all but, yeah." He let out a breath. "I'm just tired and already want winter break. I need time for myself."

"Maybe you need a past time, a hobby." Leia suggested as Ben looked over.

"Mom, I write music and I have the band, what else could I do?" He chuckled.

"Well, maybe that's not enough, isn't like you do it everyday." She shrugged. "You like writing music...maybe write poetry? I enjoy writing myself, maybe you'll like it too." Leia smiled at him. "You can also try photography, your father told me you liked to take pictures with your phone so maybe save up money to buy a camera."

Nodding his head, Ben sat up. "That seems reasonable...mostly the poetry, since it's close to song writing. The photography, that sounds nice, too."

"Mhm...do it, see how it goes. Maybe it'll help clear your mind and ease you, you never know." She smiled before patting his leg, then standing up. "I don't like seeing my kids look down, specially you, Ben." She pointed a finger. "So try something that'll make you happy in the meantime." Kissing his forehead, she tapped his nose before walking out.

"Love you, mom." He lightly smiled.

"Love you, too, honey."

. . .

Tugging your bag over your shoulder as you held onto your duffle bag, you took in a deep breath as you walked along the sidewalk, over to the bus stop. Now that you were back home you weren't expecting to have rides to school by Ben, let alone, ask him for anymore. At least the bus rides weren't so bad and now you know two people who were constantly on it...even if they were the slightest of creepy.

But they do have good hearts on them.

Seeing the bus come at the right time, you walked up the steps and made your way to the back, seeing the two already there. "Hello Mason and Alex." You kindly smiled, the two looking up and smiling back as you sat in front of them.

"Miss Kenobi is taking the bus to school..." Alex spoke up

"Is she back for good or is this temporary?" Mason asked.

"Honestly, we kind of missed you, you were good company." Looking over and narrowing your brows, Alex swatted a hand. "I'm just messing with you, you're too easy to tease."

"That's probably what Ben says." Mason whispered over as Alex rolled his eyes, you taking in a breath as you had barely spoken to Ben, although at least you simply said good morning and goodnight...that counted as something.

Talking here and there to Mason and Alex as you found their company to be quite nice as you knew they meant no harm and were just very observant and outgoing, the three of you walked out of the bus and onto the school grounds.

"Do you mind if we walk you to class?" Alex asked.

"Of course, that is if you don't have plans." Mason added as you smiled. "We're kind of shocked that you're actually talking to us."

"Is it because I'm so called 'popular'?" You said with air quotes as the two shook their heads.

"Not really..." Alex shook his head.

"Actually, yeah, but aside from that...you're really nice and all and we're pretty amazed that you'd befriend two weirdos like us." Mason pointed at himself and Alex.

"Oh...well, you two are weird...but it's nice and it isn't all that scary. Plus, you two seem nice as well and I appreciate the kindness and...concern." You nodded. "But, sure, you can walk me to class." You smiled as the two looked at each other, then at you as you walked on, fist bumping as they never thought something like that would happen.

Walking into the chemistry class as the entire walk everyone had been staring at the three of you, your eyes instantly landed on Ben as he already been in class. Giving him a small smile before turning your attention to Mason and Alex, Ben lightly smiled, heart skipping a beat as he watched you.

Although you didn't intend to seem fine, you had realized earlier that you'd be having rehearsal all week with Ben for the Grease play and didn't want things to be anymore awkward between the two of you.

"Any day." Alex smiled as Mason nodded, taking their seats behind you as Ben knitted his brows, watching as you had interacted with the two boys. Since when had you known the two? Let alone, spoken to them? You never paid attention to them before, so why now?

Walking into the classroom with all his glory, Hux's attention turned over to you, eyebrow raised as he realized your back was turned while you had been speaking to the two that sat behind you. Walking over to his usual seat as Ben looked up and rolled his eyes, he rubbed his forehead as he let out a sigh. "Good morning, doll."

Hearing the familiar voice, you smiled slightly as Mason's and Alex's shoulders dropped--along with their smiles. "Oh, hey, Arm." You turned to face him.

"I never knew you associated yourself with those two?" He nudged his head over his shoulder as he unpacked his binder and other class materials, the two behind you exchanging looks.

"Oh, Mason and Alex? I just met them recently." You nodded. "They're good people."

"That's lovely." Hux spoke, as if dismissively. "I assume you are aware homecoming has been moved sooner, so tickets will be on sale today till Wednesday." Raising your brows as you looked at Hux, Mason and Alex looked at you, then over to Ben to see the boy doodling in his notebook. "The theme is the jungle. Lots of trees and all of that." He waved his hand as you nodded.

"Oh, that's very nice, I like it." You nodded, you fully turning around to continue on talking to Hux as Mason and Alex looked at each other.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking...right?" Mason whispered over to Alex.

"If it's what im thinking then definitely."

Smacking Alex's head, Mason shook his own. "Idiot, just say it."

"Fine, sheesh! We bribe Phas into making y/n and Ben homecoming queen and king!" Alex whispered as Mason eagerly nodded.

"Perfect! You get me so well." He held his chest as Alex rolled his eyes.

"That's because we're twins."

"Right..." Mason nodded with a small laugh.

It was safe to say the second the class had ended, they rushed out and over to Phasma, not wanting to waste any precious time on their idea.

Walking over to the history class, Phasma came to a stop as she raised a brow to the two boys standing in front of her. "Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum...can I help you?"

Taking in a deep breath, Alex was about to speak up until Mason nearly shouted as he blurted out the plan. "Alex and I want to bribe you into making Ben and y/n the king and queen of homecoming since you are the head of the activities department and yearbook and we thought we'd pay you or-"

"Done."

"What?" Alex spoke up.

"I said done, I've been thinking the same thing for a while now...not surprised the two of you thought it as well." She shrugged. "No bribing necessary, I want it to happen, too."

Looking at one another with wide eyes, Alex grabbed her arm. "You are the best sister ever-"

" _Step_ sister." She corrected with a finger in the air, only to ruffle his dark hair with a smile. "Plus, I know how you feel about y/n and how much you love her being happy, so it gives me more of a reason. I make Ben happy, you make y/n happy, we both win." She nodded as Alex smiled.

"It doesn't help that Alex is always heart eyes around her, you know he asked if we could walk her to class? He's so lucky that I went along with it." Mason crossed his arms as Phasma shook her head.

"Let Alex be, he's just got a high school crush, that's all." She pinched Alex's cheek as he smiled. "I'll see you two at home, get your behinds to class." She pointed before they lifted their hands and walked off, seeing you walk ahead as Ben had been behind, aiming for the same class their older sister was now in.

"Something's up again." Mason whispered over to Alex as Alex watched with a nod.

"This cant keep happening..."

Walking rather quickly to history as you held onto the strap of your bag, pushing some hair behind your ear as you took in deep breaths, you realized you've reached full circle--avoiding Ben yet again.

It was so unhealthy to be such way, constantly avoiding, fighting, making up and somehow flirting with one another; it was driving you up the wall with how much it had been messing with your emotions. You just wanted it all to be gone, to get it out of your system. But how when you didn't want to lose the friendship?

About too push open the door, a hand had gotten in the way as they pushed it before you had. "Sorry..." Hearing the voice that you've grown to adore, yet hated the feeling, you lightly smiled. "Go ahead." Looking up at Ben as he nudged his head, you let out a small breath.

"Thank you." Walking in as he walked shortly behind, you felt your heart ache in your chest. You knew that you couldn't possibly ignore the fact that you liked this boy, specially when he made your heart do things Hux never had.

And you hated how much you knew you'd never be with him, all because when you weren't his type.

. . .

"Now, I know things have been screwed up with the change of homecoming game and dance dates due to the terrible school system but our Grease musical will be pushed ahead a day. Instead of Thursday and Friday, it will be Wednesday and Thursday." The drama teacher, Miss Ti, spoke as she stood on the stage.

"Which means lots and lots of practice, I have faith as most--if not--almost all of you are in theater, drama, or acting classes with myself. Except for you, Solo." She pointed at Ben as everyone turned to him, you not even bothering as you had sat alongside a few of your theater classmates while sitting on stage.

Throughout the day you had barely spoken to him, saying you were being quiet because of your time of the month so he didn't think you were purposefully doing it--after all, you did look pretty down which only made it more believable.

"Alright, let's begin, shall we!" She clapped as everyone stood up.

"Break a leg!" Natasha winked as everyone took their places, some sitting in the audience as others went backstage.

It was a rarity for you to have stage freight or any sort of fear with performing, but the fact that you were supposed to share multiple scenes with Ben--some being quite intimate--it made you insanely anxious. 

Little did you know for the rest of the week your feelings for him would only grow worse and worse with how realistic the shared scenes felt. And you were sure you weren't the only one who was amazed at how well the two of you had done, even the drama teacher [Ti] called the two of you out for your improvement throughout the whole process.

As the days passed and you had found yourself busier than usual with all your extracurricular activities, you had only dug the hole you were now in even deeper. It didn't help that along the way, Ben was being constantly hovered by Lili almost everywhere he went. It was sort of a plus since you couldn't even speak around Ben, every time he'd try approaching you or simply ask you something in class, you'd choke up. It also didn't help that you kept dreaming about the boy. It had gotten to the point you were very closed off with him--and he clearly noticed this.

At first he had assumed it was because you were on your period and maybe it triggered it, but he noticed how you were with everyone and rolled his eyes at the thought of it--if you were going to start acting up again then so be it, it wasn't like he could try any harder to be with you, that idea flew out the window now that Lili was in the picture.

Or, at least he had done something to cover the true feelings he had for you because he had no other idea on how to avoid such emotions and desires.

Rehearsing the second to last song of the day as it had been The One That I want--the one song you had been anticipating for both negative and positive reasons.

You had seen the film hundreds of times and you knew just how much it focused on Sandy and Danny, and you knew very well that focus would be on you and Ben, you just weren't sure you could take it.

The second the Ti had called the two of you up to rehearse the song, your stomach turned and your face began to heat, almost all the other songs you had done so far were totally fine and you were at ease...but this one, this one your heart was all over the place. You weren't sure how you hadn't forgotten the lyrics or any of the moves.

Taking in a deep breath as the end of the song was lurking up on you, you tried so hard to keep your focus on him even though your heart had been pounding so heavily in your ears. Feeling his grip around your waist as he picked you up, the two of you continued singing along as you wrapped your legs around him, Ben swaying along and singing as you had done the same, heart racing as your focus continuously shifted from either of his eyes.

"You're the one that I want!" Hearing instant clapping as the two of you lightly panted and stared at one another, you suddenly broke the contact as your heart couldn't take it, removing yourself from Ben as his grip on your waist slowly loosened up, then letting go.

"Bravo....brava!" Ti cheered amongst the rest of the students. "We are done for the afternoon, Monday we will start up again and include 'We Go Together'." Clapping her hands as you found your mind elsewhere, chest heaving as your heart throbbed, you knew you couldn't hold any of it any longer.

You couldn't keep avoiding him, you had to do something, you had to get it out of your chest, if not...you were afraid you'd only disconnect yourself. You had to say something, even if that meant losing him as a friend, you knew it wasn't good for you (or either of you) and your heart. And you had to do it soon.

"Everyone is dismissed."

Seeing Ben walk off stage as you had gone to the back to gather your things, Natasha instantly popped up as you stood back up. "You and Ben were perfect! I can't believe how good you two are together on stage! The chemistry!" She exclaimed.

"Thanks." You nodded, walking around her. "I'll see you later, I have something to do."

Rushing out from backstage, onto the stage, down the steps and across the auditorium, you pushed past the double doors in hopes to find Ben. "Ben!" You called out, seeing him come to a stop as he turned around.

"Hey." He lightly narrowed his brows as you slowed down your pace.

"I...I need to confess." You gulped with a nod. "I've been holding it in for too long and I don't think I should anymore and it's only fair to myself that I do." You breathed, chest aching.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"Ben...I-" Swallowing, you looked over at him, the gap between the two of you being quite the distance. "I really like you...in ways a friend shouldn't." You nervously spoke, Ben staring at you as his heart lodged up in his throat, chills running down his spine as his body grew still.

"I see..." He nodded. "Im sorry, the feeling isn't mutual." Slowly nodding your head as you blinked, he only continued on. "Lili and I are dating now."

Wanting to gasp as your eyes began to water up, you took in a small breath before nodding once more. "Yeah...I'm sorry to put this on you, but thanks for the honesty, it'll help me get over you."  
Turning on your heel, you walked off, tears spilling one by one as you rushed away from his sight as Ben watched.

What had he done?


	18. Mr. Brightside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Mr. Brightside by The Killers

What were you feeling? It all had hit you at once and you weren't sure how to even express your emotions, aside from crying. Disappointment, anxiety, sorrow...but you were also relieved. Relieved that you didn't have to hide it any longer, relieved that it was off of your chest and relieved that you could actually focus on your boyfriend.

Or so you had hoped. You wanted to focus on Hux and _only_ Hux, not Ben. Who was Ben? At this point, you just wanted to see him as the brother of your best friend. Did you care that you would lose the friendship over your revelation? Of course, but better to lose a friend than yourself.

Walking with your head low as you aimed for the bus stop, continuously wiping away the dripping tears, all you wanted to do was cry yourself to sleep. The pain you felt inside was unbearable. Why did you have to be put in this position? Why did you have to be the one to suffer more than Ben had? You didn't deserve this. You were fine before he came back, you had Hux and only Hux. You had forgotten about Ben and the feelings he gave you.

But now that he was back, it was like the world was crumbling around you and you couldn't handle the weight on your shoulders.

Seeing the bus appear the second you made it to the stop, you walked up the steps and over to your usual seat, completely oblivious to the fact that Alex and Mason had been there behind you. Continuously wiping away your tears as you sat there, knees pulled into your chest while you leaned your head against the window as the bus began to move, you took in shaky breaths.

Seeing the expression you had on your face the second you had walked in, Mason poked his brother with his elbow before nudging his head over at you. Sitting up in his spot as his eyes widened, Alex only noticed how you had been leaning against the window. "Go." Mason whispered as Alex stood up, leaving his bag beside his brother.

Looking at you for a moment as he could see a tear slip, you not even bothering to wipe it away, Alex sat next to you and eyed your hand that lied there. Shifting his eyes back up at you, then your hand, he grabbed onto it. Nearly jumping in your seat, you looked over to see Alex. Quickly wiping away your tears, you smiled at him. "Hi, Alex." You greeted, trying not to make eye contact as you didn't want him to worry about you.

"I hope you don't mind I sit here and hold your hand..." He kindly spoke as you looked over at him, shaking your head. "Do you want to talk about whatever it is? You don't have to, I just want you to know I can lend an ear." Alex nodded with a small smile.

"Thank you...I appreciate it. It's just life and all that, you know, stressed out." You partially lied. "It's just caving in and I need a breather."

"Oh, I see." He nodded. "My mom always said that if things got too hard on you and you think you can't get through it to always remember who got you where you are now and how you've gotten through everything on your own." Looking at him, he continued on. "Of course, friends and family help guide you in the right direction...but you're the reason you're here. The reason why you got so far."

"She always said to be proud about it and keep it in mind." Taking in a breath as he eyed you, your glum expression breaking his heart, he only smiled at you. "And I'm proud of you, y/n."

Even if he hadn't known the real reason why you had been crying, you appreciated it because somehow, his words made you feel better. Maybe not completely, but enough for you not to attack yourself about it. "Thank you, Alex." You smiled, pulling him into a hug as Mason grinned, looking at his twin while shaking his head, only for Alex to blush.

"Anything for you, I really don't like seeing you sad...or anyone, actually." He nodded as you had moved away from the hug, seeing how red his cheeks were.

"I appreciate your kindness, some may not, but know that it makes you a better person. You've got a big heart on you, be careful that someone doesn't walk all over it." You pointed as he nodded. "But it makes you, you. And I like that about you."

Blinking as he only gulped, he sucked in a breath to steady his rapidly beating heart. As much as he had liked you, your happiness always came first--even if that meant for you to be with someone else.

The second you had left Ben's sight was the second he was filled with regret--as if he wasn't already. He hated how he was always the one to make you cry, and even if you were in a distance from him and seemed fine, he could see the shine on your eyes as the tears pooled up. The way you walked away with your body so stiff, pace rather quick and head being lowered, he knew he had screwed up.

But how was he supposed to admit to his feelings when he had a girlfriend--let alone--you had a boyfriend who he didn't want to get in the way of? Even if he wanted you to leave Hux.

He didn't know what to do, he felt lost. Every move he made always had a bad outcome, whether it'd be hurting you or himself, things never turned out right.

Storming off to his car as he zoomed home, not caring if he was going twenty miles over the speed limit, his mind was all over the place. He wanted to be left alone and he wanted to _be_ alone. Possibly why he kept ignoring every text and call Lili had given him.

Slamming his car door shut as he trudged into his house and up the stairs, completely ignoring his parents, he locked himself up in his room. Tossing his binder onto his desk and his bag onto the floor, he removed the v-neck he had been in, feeling his body heat rise.

Rubbing his face as he then pushed his hand through his hair, tugging at it in frustration, he sat on his bed and took in deep breaths. He just wanted to disappear.

Walking up the steps and over to Ben's room, Leia gently knocked. "Ben, honey?"

"Yeah?" He called out with a sigh.

"May I come in?" Standing up from his bed, he walked over to the door and pulled it open. "Honey, are you sure you don't want to go on the trip with us?"

"I can't, I have rehearsals." He spoke, Leia noticing how red his face was.

"Alright, I know this is last minute but we don't want you home alone-"

"Do you not trust me?" He nearly snapped as Leia raised a brow. "Sorry..."

"I trust you, of course, but I don't want you alone." She stated, arms crossed. "That is why you will be staying over the Kenobis."

Feeling his eyes widen, Ben gulped. "The Kenobis? Why the Kenobis? I could stay with Poe...or-"

"First of all, I trust the Kenobis, second of all...you only know Poe so you don't have much options, plus, I already told y/n's parents that you will be going tomorrow at noon."

"Mom, seriously?" Ben whined as she nodded.

"Yes. Now pack up. We will stop by to say hello to the family and thank them and after that we'll head to the airport." She stated as Ben sighed. "You could've gone with us to California but _no_."

"Look, as _appealing_ as California sounds, I have-"

"Rehearsals, yeah I got it. Never thought you'd actually be so into theater." She swatted a hand. "It's probably because y/n is in it as well." She smiled as Ben rolled his eyes. "Anyway, go pack up, I'm sure it'll be a good surprise for y/n having her best friend sleep over." Leia grinned before turning around and leaving his sight.

Shaking his head as he knew that was the _worst_ of plans after what had happened to the two of you less than an hour ago, he shoved the door closed before locking it, mind yelling at him as he had been left in silence. He couldn't take it. It didn't help that he was about to spend four days with you when he knew you must've hated him now after everything he's put you through.

Plugging his phone into his speakers as he blasted the music, the sound vibrating along as he sang--rather-- _yelled_ along to the lyrics. "JEALOUSY, TURNING SAINTS INTO THE SEA! SWIMMING THROUGH SICK LULLABIES! CHOKING ON YOUR ALIBIS!" Hearing the music echo through the thin walls, Rey's brows narrowed. "BUT IT'S JUST THE PRICE I PAY! DESTINY IS CALLING ME! OPEN UP MY EAGER EYES CAUS I'M MISTER BRIGHTSIDE!"

Standing up from her bed and walking over to the wall, she banged her fists against it. "Shut the hell up, Ben!" Hearing the music continue on, her eye twitched, storming out of her room and over to Ben's door as she banged on it.

"What the hell is going on?" Han asked as he stood on the staircase, looking over at Rey. "Tell Ben to turn that emo crap down!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Rey called over her shoulder as Han sighed, walking all the way up and over to her, grabbing the key on top of the door frame and unlocking it.

"I'M COMING OUT OF MY CAGE-" Snatching the phone away as Han turned the music off, Rey grabbed fistfuls of Ben's shirt as she shoved him back.

"What on Earth is wrong with you?! Have you lost your damn mind?!" She exclaimed as he just stared down at her with bloodshot eyes. "Are you high?!"

"No, you moron!" He swatted her hand away, snatching his phone from his father's hold. "I'm just an asshole who only knows how to break peoples hearts!" At that, he grabbed his keys and walked out of his room, not bothering to grab his shirt as he still felt too hot.

"Ben, where the hell are you going?!" Han called out.

"Somewhere I can be alone!" Seeing her son storm by as she simply blinked, flinching at the sound of the front door slamming, Leia walked over to the staircase and looked up at Han and Rey, the two shrugging and shaking their heads.

Ever since Ben had first moved out of town back in eighth grade, it felt as if his mind was always out to get him with his dreadful thoughts. It didn't help that his high school wasn't all that great and the people were just as bad--if not--worse with the constant bullying and teasing. The reason why Ben changed. Why he needed to transform into the person he was now. At least, what he thought he needed.

Yet, as much as his newfound build and demeanor made the bullying come to an end, it didn't stop his internal conflicts. It didn't help that his father was barely home from work and all he had was a devil cat--at least he had his bandmates--but even then, being stuck home never helped.

So he kept a room to himself in the one hotel his father helped run. In reality, it was his parents get away penthouse but Ben ended up taking it as his own go-to hideaway since they had barely used it.

And that's where he found himself heading to.

He didn't care if he was shirtless, or the fact that he looked like a deranged man with his wild eyes--let alone, hair and sweaty body--he just needed to be alone in his own sanctuary.

. . .

"This is my stop." You spoke up, standing up as Alex had done the same. "Thank you for the support and wise words." You smiled at him, pulling him into one more hug. "I appreciate it."

"It's no problem." He lightly chuckled as he gave you a sweet smile, moving out of your way.

"Bye, Mason." You waved as the twin waved back. "I'll see you two Monday."

"Feel better and remember what I said!" Alex called out as you nodded with a small smile.

"Of course." Walking down and out, you aimed for your house.

The second you had walked into your home was the second you had trudged over to your bedroom. "Hello." You greeted your parents before walking off, the two exchanging looks.

"Everything alright?" Your mother asked as you waved a hand.

"Just exhausted...that's all." Not even turning to look at her, you continued on and up the stairs, over to your room and dropping your bags, along with yourself, on the floor.

You felt worn out. The last few weeks were nothing but emotional rollercoasters for you and you needed to sit still at least for once. Too much was going on and you couldn't take it--your heart couldn't bear it.

Deciding--after a while of contemplation--to take a shower, you had come out feeling refreshed. At least, the slightest. For your body, it felt great, but for your mind and soul, you still felt tensed up. Changing into pajamas as you tossed yourself onto your bed, your phone had rung. At first, you weren't going to even bother, but when you looked over and saw it was Poe, you felt guilty if you hadn't.

"Hey, Poe."

 _"Hey, I was wondering, since we haven't gone to one in the longest of times...do you want to go out into the forrest and watch a bike race?"_ He asked. _"I know you must be exhausted from school but there's a race going down in an hour and I thought we should go."_

Sitting there and biting at your nail as you weren't sure what to do, a part of you wanting to sleep for as long as you could while another part of you wanted to cry your life away, you only found yourself sitting up. You couldn't keep beating yourself down, even if the incident had just happened--you didn't want any of your closest friends (or family) to worry. "Sure."

_"Great! I'll pick you up in fifteen."_

"Alright, see you then." Hanging up, you changed into a pair of leggings and a simple jumper as you knew the weather was becoming chilly, you pulled on socks and slipped into a pair of booties. Sliding your phone into the pocket of your sweater, you walked over to the balcony of your room and shut the door quietly behind you, climbing over the railing and carefully going down the wall trellis. You had been so used to sneaking in and out as a kid that after years of not doing it, it felt quite thrilling.

Walking past the front yard as you waited along the sidewalk, Poe rolled up and came to a stop as he lowered his window. "I can't believe that now we don't have to ride our bikes or walk, we can actually drive there."

Shaking your head with a smile, you walked over to the car and got in. "Hello to you, too, Poe."

"Hello hello." He greeted, driving off. "How was rehearsals?"

Sucking in a breath, he looked over at you for a moment, seeing the slight change in expression. "Wanna share?" He asked as you looked over, trying so hard not to think about it.

"Maybe...when we get there." You nodded as he had done the same. If anyone was really good at reading you, it was Poe. He could easily tell when you were lying, hurting or hiding something. Possibly why he was always the person you went to for things you knew weren't the easiest to speak about.

Parking by the side, he looked over at you. "Do you want to talk in here or while walking?"

"I think in here is best." You nodded, looking down at your hands. "I think you kind of know as to what... _who_ it'll be about."

Eyeing you for a moment, he took in a deep breath. "Ben."

Nodding your head as you fiddled with your thumbs, you felt your bottom lips slightly tremble. "Yeah..."

"What did he do?" He asked, face softening as he could see your body tensing up, you wanting to cry.

"It's what _didn't_ he do..." You lightly spoke. "So much has been going on between us since he moved back. Some good...some bad. And the bad tend to outweigh the good with how often they happen."

Nodding his head, he blinked. "Like what...exactly?"

"We fight over stupid things, we grow distant and dry, bicker and argue...then we suddenly make up and everything is fine. It's always like that." You sighed as you looked up. "But this time, this time it wasn't a fight or an argument...its was the ugly truth and bitter reality."

"What happened?"

Looking over at Poe, you let out a small breath. "I confessed." Seeing him holding back, you shook your head. "Don't act like you don't know what I mean, out of all people, you knew how much I adored Ben Solo. Then and now." Seeing him look down as he nodded, you only shifted your focus away, out the window.

"You told him...when?"

"After rehearsals. I couldn't take it anymore, my heart wasn't capable of holding all of it in for so long. Not when I have a boyfriend...and not when I have a best friend I don't want to lose. Which...I'm starting to believe that that's what life wants for us, for us to just be apart."

"But if life wants that...then why would it keep putting you two back together?" Poe pointed out as you turned to look back at him.

"I don't know...but with what I've been through with him telling me I'm not his type to him saying the feelings not mutual-" Growing wide eyed, Poe held back a gasp, "and to him saying he's dating that Lili girl now--which makes no sense since she _just_ moved here--I think life does want that. Why else would it put all these things in the way?"

"He...dismissed your confession? Said it wasn't mutual?" Nodding your head, Poe only blinked, knowing very well the feelings were _exceedingly_ mutual. "And Lili? That girl who just started at school?" Seeing you nod again, Poe's brows furrowed. "Since when?"

"I don't know, must've been this past week...probably why I barely saw him around because she's all over him." You sighed.

"That doesn't make sense? Ben complains about her to me and says she's too clingy, why would he-" Cutting himself off as you slowly looked up at Poe with furrowed brows, he only waved a hand. "I can't say anything, things happen in strange ways." He quickly added, not wanting you to be suspicious--even if you already were.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter, what matters is that I have Hux." You nodded as Poe's shoulders dropped, rather wishing you had yourself than the snarky and know-it-all Hux. "And Hux deserves the attention I've been giving Ben. If Ben doesn't feel the same then so be it, I shouldn't be worked up on it if he isn't. I shouldn't suffer when I'm taken and he's taken as well. If he doesn't want to be friends anymore then what can I do? It's either I lose him or I lose the feelings. Whatever it is, I'll let the heavens or whatever the hell decide. I don't need anything else bringing me down."

Slowly nodding as he watched you cross you arms, he mentally tugged at his hair, having the urge to just call Ben and yell him out. "Hey, to get your mind off of things, why don't you and I hangout tomorrow as well? We can do whatever you want, something you and I haven't done since we've done a lot as kids."

Looking at him, you lightly smiled and nodded. "Yeah...that sounds better than staying at home, rotting."

"Perfect. But, for now, we enjoy the race and nothing but the race." He grinned, the two of you getting out of his car, walking along the forrest and to the race.

"Hey, one more thing." You spoke up.

"Yeah?" Poe turned his head over to you as the two of you approached the race.

"Don't tell anyone I told you any of this...not even Rey. This stays between us. Promise?"

Seeing Poe nod, he turned his head back ahead. "Promise."

. . .

Laying sprawled out on your bed as you had snuck back in at the early hours of the morning, your mother rushed up to your room and swung the door open. "Y/n? Why are you still asleep? We have a guest coming over!"

Fluttering your eyes open as you had been lying there like a starfish, your eyes adjusted to the light shining in your room as your mother opened the curtains. "Mom...what time is it? I'm tired..."

"Half past eleven, you better get up and do whatever it is you need to, I don't want them seeing you as if you had just woken up!" She exclaimed as she walked out.

"But I just did..." You groaned, shoving your face back into your pillow. If it wasn't for going to bed at three in the morning, having nightmares along with constantly thinking about Ben and what he had said, you probably wouldn't feel so beat up like you did now.

"Hurry up!" Your mother shouted as you sighed, seeing Jupiter roam into your room and meow at you.

"Don't rush me." You pointed at the white cat, standing up and trudging to your bathroom to shower and change.

After the night he had of practically writing his pain away in poetry while drinking all and any possible liquids he could find in the penthouses fridge, Ben parked his car in your driveway and felt his head throb. He absolutely hated how he had to stay over someone else's house rather than his own.

Hearing a honk behind him as Han had parked there, Ben waved a hand out the window, gesturing for them to go on as he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms.

"Come on, kid, lets go." Han spoke as he walked by his car, looking at his son who looked as if he were the living dead. "The Kenobi's are probably waiting."

Seeing his father walk off along with his mother and sister, Ben rolled his eyes. "They didn't have to be waiting if I didn't need to sleep over." Shutting his door and grabbing his bag from the trunk, Ben slung it over his shoulder as he mindlessly aimed for the front door, constantly stumbling as he kept rubbing his eyes.

"I'm surprised how for the idea Mrs. Kenobi was...I know how she is about Hux staying over--which is _never_. So allowing our son to stay is very kind." Blinking as he narrowed his eyes, Ben took a step closer.

"What do you mean about Hux?" He curiously asked, Rey not even noticing what was going on as she had her earphones in.

"She doesn't really care for Hux, unlike her husband--her husband adores Hux." Leia stated as Ben narrowed his eyes ever more. "Y/n has apparently asked for Hux to stay over a few times but after the constant declines she gave up."

"Oh...really?" Ben raised a brow as he thought about the weekend before when you _swore_ Hux would stay the night with you and that Ben didn't have to worry. "What a shame."

Furrowing his brows, Han only rolled his eyes before his attention turned to the now opened door, being greeted by your parents.

Hearing the commotion downstairs as you strapped on your bra and pulled on a tank top, not bothering to try so hard as you were home and being in sweats was enough, you walked out of your bathroom and pulled your hair into a rather loose bun. "Come on, Jup, Im starving."

Picking up the cat as you walked out of your room and over to the staircase, you could see the group huddled up as your parents spoke to the Solos. Seeing Ben, you sucked in a breath before reaching the last step, Jupiter jumping out of your grip and running to him. If you could yell at your cat and teach her how to not run up to Ben, you possibly would've minutes before. "Ah, here she is." Your mother spoke.

"Hello." You waved. "Excuse me, I need to eat." Giving Han and Leia a grin, completely ignoring Ben, you grabbed onto Rey's arm and interlocked your own with hers as you pulled her with you to the kitchen. Crouching down as he pet the white cat, Kylo being held in Leia's arm as he was completely knocked out while Chewie sat beside her, Ben watched as you walked off with his sister.

"Mind telling me why your family is here?" You asked.

"What do you mean?" She chuckled as you went to serve yourself cereal. "My parents and I are going to California while Ben stays behind like the dork he is."

"He's not going?" You asked, holding the spoon in between your teeth as you tossed the cereal the bowl and poured in the milk.

"Nope, he keeps saying he has rehearsals." She rolled her eyes as you had done the same, closing the milk and putting it back into the fridge.

"That's a shame." You lied.

"Yeah, well, I say good luck to you." She pointed a finger as you raised a brow, eating away at your cereal.

"Why?"

"Cause he's staying four days with you-" Instantly choking on your food, Rey quickly stood up and rushed to your side as you coughed, placing the bowl down and trying to catch your breath. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah! Just, went down the wrong pipe..." You nodded. "Since when was this...planned?"

"Super last minute, yesterday maybe? Not sure." Rey shrugged, making sure you were okay before she sat back down.

"How lovely." You breathed.

"Hey, at least it isn't a week!" She pointed out as you nodded.

"Yeah..." Sighing as you continued eating your cereal, you felt a dark cloud hover over you.

The entire time you had ate you had found yourself becoming more and more nauseous at the thought that Ben was going to be staying with you for four days, and unlike before, it was just you two--no Rey. How were you going to do this? Why couldn't this have been done months later? Not a day?

Putting your dishes into the sink as you said goodbye to Rey as you told her you had plans for the afternoon and had to get ready, you waved to Han and Leia as you walked past them once again, grabbing Jupiter as she sat by Ben--Ben watching you and glaring, almost staring at you the whole time you went up the stairs.

Looking over the railing for a moment and making eye contact, you casually looked away as if it were nothing, Ben only shifting his jaw. These four days weren't going to be easy.

. . .

"I'm sorry we can't give you a room seeing as the twins room is taken up with their junk and some storage, and the office is...an office and we sadly don't have room for a futon in there so..." Walking over to your room, your mother opened the door. "You'll be sleeping here, well, not on y/n's bed but on a mattress on the ground." She nodded as Ben took in a deep breath, walking over and seeing you practically sitting on your bathroom sink as you had been doing your makeup, music from you phone playing that wasn't any of his recommended songs, rather your own.

"Thank you." Ben spoke, keeping his eyes on you as he placed his bag down. He hated how cute he found it that you were sitting on the sink as if standing were too much. And he hated how cute you had looked doing your own makeup.

"We'll set it up for you in a bit, no worries." Your mother smiled before walking past Ben and over to you. "Y/n, angel, Ben will be sleeping in here."

Feeling your heart drop as you looked over at her, mascara in your hold, your shoulders slumped--you sort of expected this. "Oh."

"It'll be fine, he will be on the floor." She stated as you slowly nodded, looking back at the mirror as you could feel Ben's eyes on you, finishing up your make up before getting off of the counter. "And where are you going?" Seeing you brush your finger through your hair as you had curled the ends, you smiled.

"A date with Hux!" You lied as Ben's eye twitched, seething in his spot. "Dinner and a movie, but he wants to take me to the mall first." Nodding your head, your mother raised her brows.

"How nice, enjoy it." She smiled, even though she had wished you hadn't been with the boy.

"Thank you." You smiled back, walking past Ben as if he had been a ghost, checking your phone to see if Poe was on his way. You just hoped Poe wouldn't say anything to Ben about you two hanging out. "It'll be all afternoon so I won't be back until eight or nine." You nodded, walking over to your long mirror to check out your outfit, fixing your thigh highs and patting down your overall dress.

"Your father and I will most likely be out but Ben will be here, yes?" Your mom looked at him, Ben caught in a trance as he stared at you before blinking.

"Yeah..." He mumbled as you rolled your eyes, only to turn around.

"I'm gonna get going, see you." Kissing your mothers cheek as you grabbed your phone and bag, you crouched down to say goodbye to Jupiter, only to see a familiar black cat walk up to you. "Bye, Kylo!" Rubbing under his chin, you stood back up and left, leaving Ben there in shock.

You had said goodbye to his cat but _not_ him? A new low.


	19. I Blame Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: I Blame Myself by Sky Ferreira

This friendship you and Ben had was other worldly, it felt as if it were ephemeral. Every time either of you thought you had a grip on it, it always seemed to slip through your fingers like dust. And what was the reason for your hold not being tight enough? Ignorance. Ignorance, self doubt, fear and all the many things that held you back.

And Hux.

Because if you hadn't been with him, you possibly would've been with Ben now--at least, you had hoped. You knew for a fact Ben didn't like you whatsoever with all he had admit to you; but, on the other hand, Ben _adored_ you. He just didn't know how to admit to it to himself.

So he put the blame on you and Hux (and him moving away).

But he had a clear gateway to admit his feelings back to you then and there...but what does he do? He tears you down and says he's dating someone already. Someone he couldn't care much for. Someone who liked him only for his looks and not his whole self like you had. Someone who was too needy and wanted constant attention. And it was his fault he was in such relationship now--because of pure jealousy and spite.

Not wanting to stay alone in your room for heavens knows how long you'd be gone, he found himself calling his newfound girlfriend and heading out. "I have to go to work and help my boss out, hope you don't mind I leave Kylo upstairs. He's asleep on y/n's bed with Jupiter." Ben spoke to your mother before walking out, the woman watching with narrowed brows.

She knew something was up with the two of you from the lack of words spoken to one another, but what was it?

Picking up Lili, not even bothering to get out of the car and wait at her door, the second she had gotten into the car and kissed his cheek was the second he grew tense. He didn't know why he did this, put himself into such situation where he was dating someone the total opposite of you. Was it to find a new taste? Was it to get over you? Clearly the latter couldn't be it when he barely felt anything for the girl.

It was just sheer stupidity the boy had and didn't think ahead, using someone to get at someone else--and you were starting to realize this.

"So, where are we going?" Lili asked, all perked up with a smile as she gazed at Ben. The brunette was the polar opposite to you: her style, her music taste--practically everything Ben was but as a female--minus the constant attention seeking and neediness. Now that he was not.

She always wore dark clothes, maybe a few light colors here and there but it was mostly white. Always in tight jeans that were ripped up, converse or vans, band tees or crop tops--she was the epitome of grunge in a person minus the strange personality she had towards Ben. To others, she was a whole different being. It was no wonder as to why he said yes so easily to when she had asked him out--he was desperate to get over you.

"Tattoo parlor." Ben spoke, keeping his eyes on the road as Lili slid a hand on his thigh, the young man sighing. It wasn't the same having her hand on his thigh when you had already done it before--even if he had been the one to put it there. Nothing compared to how you made him feel.

"Oh, really? Are you finally getting another tattoo?" She asked as Ben nodded. "Any piercings?"

"No, you know I'm only into tattoos." He spoke.

"But what about that one time you wanted to get that nose piercing?" She chuckled as Ben shook his head.

"I was being dumb, I'm glad I never got it." He stated as Lili nodded, not caring about how dry he was--in all honestly, she barely even noticed. "But I see you got one." Ben looked over for a moment as she grinned.

"Yeah, I did. Thought it'd be cool since I already filled up one ear and have a few on the other, I thought I'd change it up a bit." She spoke as Ben found his mind elsewhere, parking his car and swiftly getting out. "Someone's excited..."

"I just want to get it over with." Ben responded, walking over to the door and opening it. "Come on." He nudged his head for her to walk in.

"Is this the one you went to with the gang?" Lili asked, looking around.

"Yeah, Empire tattoos is a company my grandfather co-owned." Ben pointed out. "But he ended up leaving cause he got too old and found interest in other things. Plus, my grandmother didn't care much for the idea so he moved on."

"Ahh, look who it is, Vader's grandson." Turning around, Ben smirked the slightest as he nodded.

"I can't believe you still call him Vader even though he's too old for that." Ben snickered.

"He'll always be Vader to us." The man laid a hand on his chest. "So you want another tattoo? I told you you'd be coming back for more."

"Oh, it's been two years, it isn't like I was desperate and immediately came back." Ben crossed his arms.

"Alright, fair enough. So what's it gonna be?" Watching as Ben pulled out a folded paper from his back pocket, he handed it over. Opening it up, the man nodded. "You sure you don't want to be a tattoo artist? You draw pretty damn well. Your grandfather would be proud."

"Thanks but I'm good, drawing is a hobby, nothing more." Ben nodded.

"Alright, so where do you want this bad boy? It's pretty big." The man stated as Ben stretched out his arm, pointing to his inner forearm. "Nice spot. What about her?" He nudged his head to Lili.

"Oh, no, she's just accompanying me." Ben pointed to Lili with his thumb as she nodded.

"As fun as this sounds, I don't have any tattoo ideas in mind...so maybe next time." She nodded.

"Sounds good. Let me go set up the stuff and we can get this going." Following behind as Ben went to the mans station, he took a seat as Lili sat on a stool beside him.

"A rose with thorns?" She asked with an arched brow. "Not saying it's bad or anything but, why a rose?"

"A metaphor." Ben stated. "Beauty can be very dangerous."

. . .

"Go karting." You spoke, standing in front of the track with arms crossed. "You would take us go karting." Looking over at Poe with a raised brow, he only laughed.

"Well, we can't really go bike racing so I thought this'd be the closest thing to a race." He nodded as you chuckled.

"You want to race me?"

"Hell yeah I do! Every time we play Mario Kart you beat me so I gotta beat you in real life!" He pointed out as you laughed again.

"We'll see about that." You winked, turning around to gear up as Poe shook his head, pulling out his phone and opening up to snapchat to take a photo of the track. "Come on, drive-boy, let's see who'll win."

Turning around as he slid his phone into his pocket, he walked over to gear up after you had.

From the second you two had gotten into the karts to when the two of you had been racing for the finish line after the twelfth lap, you had felt so care and trouble free, nothing seeming to bother you. You were having the time of your life, laughing, yelling at Poe, it had all been so great.

You missed moments like these.

Now that you were all getting older and busier, it was rare to have this much fun--specially with all your worries and troubles that busied you.

"Ahah! I told you I'd kick your ass!" You exclaimed, hopping out of the kart as you removed your helmet, Poe shaking his head as he recorded the screen that showed the track numbers along with race time.

"Yeah, by point twenty-five seconds! That's just a landslide!" He fired back as you rolled your eyes.

"Landslide and still beat you, Poe. Can't say it's the controller anymore." You pointed a finger before turning on your heel to place back the helmet.

"Whatever, we're coming back here again soon and I'll definitely beat you then." He pointed a finger at you as you rolled your eyes, walking towards the exit as Poe then followed you.

"So, what are we doing now? It's about to be four." You looked at your phone for a moment.

"We could go to the movies or the mall...maybe a second round at racing." He trailed as you turned around, raising a brow.

"Are you really that persistent?" You scoffed as Poe shrugged. "Why do you want to beat me so bad? Is it cause a girl beat you, huh?" Smirking at him, Poe only shook his head.

"No way, like I care if a girl beats me? I did this once with Jess and she whooped my ass! Same goes for Karé...so don't think you're all that special!" Poe pointed out as you crossed your arms.

"It's because you lost to yet another girl, hmm?" Seeing his shoulders slump, you only grinned.

"I don't get it! I always beat everyone else, but you and the other two--even Rey once--beat my ass!" He threw his hands up as you laughed.

"Fine, one more round and we call it a day. Well, I mean we give up this stupid competition and whoever wins, wins." You stuck your hand out, Poe grabbing onto it to shake it.

"Fair enough."

And just like that, after another twelve laps, you beat Poe yet again. It was like he wasn't meant to beat you at any sort of races--even in the bets you had always won!

"Aw, come on! Again?!" He exclaimed, you laughing as the two of you looked at the scores.

"This time by a whole thirty seconds." You winked, poking his cheek as he sighed. "Now you definitely can't say anything cause you lost fair and square."

Following you over to the exit, Poe groaned. "I'm just gonna race Oddy...maybe Snap." Nodding his head, he walked on with you. "Seems like I can never beat any of you women."

"I've got an idea, take Phasma one day and bring me with, I won't race, just watch." You spoke over to him as Poe rolled his eyes. "I want to just see her drag you across the pavement and beat you."

"You are _my_ best friend, you're supposed to cheer _me_ on." Poe pointed to himself.

"Yeah but...girls rule." You shrugged, walking over to his car.

The two of you had spent over four hours there, the place being quite packed and the race it's self being pretty long. Unsure of what to do after as you sat in the car contemplating, you eventually decided to go to the zoo as it had been close by.

"I won't lie to you, giraffes scare me." Poe spoke as the two of you walked by the giraffes, him walking on the left of you as you were closest to the encounter. "Something about those long necks and that tongue of theirs creeps me out..."

"Poe, giraffes are practically harmless yet you're not afraid of tigers." You rolled your eyes as you turned to look at him.

"Look, tigers are neat, alright? They're big cats!"

"It's because they're orange and black, isn't it?" You crossed your arms.

"What?! No...that's not-" Looking at you and seeing your brow raised, Poe only sighed. "Okay yes, maybe, but not the full reason why!"

"Whatever." You shook your head as you chuckled. "Lets go look at the elephants." Pulling him along as the two of you walked along the rather small zoo, constantly taking photos of the animals and feeding a few, you instantly stopped in your tracks. "Otters?! They have otters?!" You exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, you didn't know?" Poe chuckled as you shook your head.

"It's been so long since I've been to the zoo! Ahh!" Rushing over to the exhibit, you watched as the small group of otters ran around their little home that was filled with nothing but slides and tanks of water. "That is so cute! I want an otter..." You frowned, practically glued against the glass as one of the otters went underwater.

"I think there's a chance you can hold one..." Pulling out the inquiry, Poe skimmed through it. "Yeah, it should start now, it's actually the second to last event of the day since they close at eight." Poe pointed out.

"What time is it?" You asked without looking at him.

"7:40." He read his watch as you instantly grabbed his hand, rushing up the stairs and seeing a small group huddled up.

"Poe, this could be my chance to steal one and make a run for it..."

"I suggest you not..." Poe narrowed his brows the slightest as you moved your way through to the front, bringing Poe along.

"My little buddy here is named Sonny, she's the second youngest of the group and is the absolute sweetest!" The zoo keeper spoke as you could've sworn you were heart-eyes.

"I want Sonny..." You directed your words over to Poe as you kept your eyes on the little animal.

"Y/n, no."

"I just-"

"No."

"Ugh, fine." You sighed.

"Who wants to hold her?" Quickly raising your hand, the woman walked over to you. "Someone's eager, do you like otters?"

"Yes! Yes, I do." You nodded, feeling like a little girl. "Amongst a few other animals but otters are one of my favorites." Smiling as the woman nodded with a grin, she handed you the small otter.

"That's wonderful because I may have a prize for you if you can tell me one interesting fact about an otter."

Holding onto the small otter as your cheeks started to hurt from smiling, you quickly spoke up. "Otters use stones to break open their food, shellfish, on their stomachs!"

"Yes, that is very true!" The woman exclaimed, walking over to a bag and pulling out a plush. "You get a stuffed otter." She smiled as your eyes widened.

"Poe, take a photo of me!" You waved your hand as he sighed. At least you were happier than before.

Taking the photo, he hadn't realized he had posted it to his story rather then saving it, the app already being open and too lazy to close it to open the camera. "Alright, got you."

"Thanks." You smiled to him, only to turn to the woman. "Thank you for this!" Petting the little otter before handing her back in exchanged for the stuff toy, you lightly squealed.

"Let's get going, we should eat before I take you home." Poe spoke over to you as you nodded, more than pleased with how your afternoon went. You just completely forgot that back home waiting for you was the one person you didn't want to see for a while.

. . .

After getting the tattoo and hanging out for a while with Lili, Ben had found himself back at your place, completely exhausted from the night before as he had barely slept from being awake for so long and waking up early to come back home--no thanks to the dozens of calls and voicemails Rey had left him.

Sitting on the floor of your room as he wasn't sure where else to be now that your parents had gone for the evening, Ben eyed the area. Your room screamed out 'you' with all the pastel colors and cute decorations, white furniture and matching bed sheets. Seeing the few posters that hung on your wall along with your little set up on your desk, nightstand and dresser, he let out a small sigh.

Everything about you was adorable in his eyes and he absolutely hated it. Instead of falling for someone like himself--like Lili--he had fallen for someone who loved to wear skirts and dresses along with making their hair pretty. Someone who enjoyed shopping for hours on end and had a massive wardrobe. A person whose nightwear was even fashionable.

He had fallen for someone polar opposite to him and he couldn't find a single thing about the way you were disturbing because it's what made you, you.

Sure, maybe back when he had first met you you were nothing like this, but you were still quite different to him and you had still won his heart at first sight. He just wished he didn't constantly get himself into such bad situations with you when all he wanted to do was be there for you and be _with_ you.

But you were happily with Hux, a man who suited you more than Ben had; with all his glory and charisma--the intelligence Ben had--but the will to be so out there and to be heard, to be above all...now that, Ben didn't carry.

You and Hux were a better match than Ben ever imagined to be with you. Why would someone as troublesome and as different as Ben wound up with a person as perfect as you?

He wouldn't, and he knew that. He had no chances with you--because even if you had confessed first--he feared he wasn't good enough for you.

Rubbing his face as he then pulled out his phone, he scrolled through his social media apps, only to come to a stop. Watching Poe's story, which consisted of just a video of a racing record and talking in the background along with an image, Ben tapped through it only for his eyes to widen.

Scrolling to the bottom to rewatch Poe's story, his wide eyes only narrowed as his jaw clenched. Why were you with Poe when you were supposed to be on a date with Hux? And why didn't Poe tell him anything about spending the afternoon with you?

Closing the app and tossing his phone on to the air mattress, he heard a door shut outside. Standing up and walking over to the balcony windows, Bens jaw shifted as he watched you wave goodbye to Poe--Ben knowing very well that _that_ was Poe's car with the paint job it had. Watching you walk to the front door, he let out a huff, realizing it was already half past ten and decided to act as if he had been sleeping.

Walking up the steps as you noticed your parents weren't home--but Ben was--you took in a deep breath. Opening the door and seeing Ben already knocked out, you swallowed before walking around the mattress, placing your things down along with the new stuffed toy on your desk. Grabbing your pajamas to change in the bathroom, Ben peeked an eye open as he heard the door shut. Sitting up and seeing the stuffed otter, he gritted his teeth. Why would you lie about going on a date with Hux? Ben wouldn't have cared if you said you were hanging out with Poe, he knew Poe was your best friend first out of everyone!

Seeing the lights turn off in the bathroom, he quickly lied back down and shut his eyes as you walked out, carefully shutting the door and walking to your bed. Taking in a deep breath as you sat on your bed, not realizing Jupiter and Kylo were lying on Ben's bed, you felt your happiness drift away once again.

The fun you had with Poe was only a temporary block, but now that you were back in your room, alone with a sleeping Ben, your heart felt like snapping once again.

You didn't want to feel such way, but you knew if you had or hadn't confessed, there still would be a barrier between the two of you.

Swallowing your newfound anxiety, you lied down on your side, back facing Ben as you could feel the tears coming on once again. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't you have gotten over him when he had moved? Why did Ben have to be so blunt and carefree every time your feelings were involved?

Why did you have to like him so much?

Hearing light whimpering as the room was dead quiet, Ben's eyes slowly opened as his heart skipped a beat, brows furrowing at the sound of you softly crying. Even with the distance between the two of you, Ben still couldn't stand the sight or sound of you crying--specially when he was at fault.

Trying so hard not to breakdown as you continuously wiped the tears away, you only sat up, got off of your bed and pulled your robe on, slipping into slippers and walking out of your room. You didn't want to wake Ben, and you definitely didn't want him to see you cry, so you walked down the stairs and right out of your house to let it all out.

Walking along the sidewalk as your bottom lip quivered, breath hitching as you continuously wiped away the tears, Ben got up from his spot, pulled his shirt on and rushed out of your room, not caring if he was barefoot and only in boxers. Exiting your house and walking up to the sidewalk and looking either way, he instantly found you.

"Y/n!"

Freezing in your spot as your heart skipped a beat, you blinked. This couldn't be happening, not here and definitely not now. "Y/n, wait!" Jogging over to you, Ben stopped behind you as you could feel his presence. "You shouldn't be out here alone."

Feeling your heart sink, your brows only narrowed in frustration. "Why do you care?" You spoke over your shoulder only to turn around. "You clearly don't care about my feelings the way you treat me."

Hearing you nearly snap, Ben blinked as his brows furrowed. "Well I'm sorry you can't take honesty when it's given."

Lightly gasping, you shook your head. "Because you totally aren't dating Lili just to spite me, right?!" You nearly shouted as Ben's eyebrows narrowed even more, afraid that you knew the truth but knowing it was impossible that you had.

Seeing him stand there in silence as he stared at you, you only rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms, letting out a harsh laugh. "You are such a hypocrite. I hope this hurts you as much as it hurts me." Turning on your heel to walk off, Ben's fists balled up at his sides.

"I am not the one who allowed the flirtation from someone else who wasn't their boyfriend!" Ben shouted as you stopped in your tracks, turning around.

"Fuck you, Ben Solo." Feeling your eyes burn as you shook your head, you felt your chest ache. "I wasn't the one who flirted with someone who's taken."

Feeling his heart race as he watched you, Ben snapped as he aimed for you. "I am not the one who lied and said she went on a date with her boyfriend rather than saying she was hanging out with a friend!"

Gulping the slightest, your eyes widened the slightest, only for you to point a finger. "Why do you care?! Hux or Poe, it doesn't matter who I hang out with!"

"It matters because you lied! You lied about being on a date with your boyfriend! You lied because you wanted to make me jealous, right?!" He shouted back as he stood in front of you.

"Screw you, not everything is about you!" You threw your hands up.

"Just admit it! Just say that you lied because you want to seem like you're not broken about me saying the feelings aren't mutual to your confession! Just say it, dammit!" Ben yelled.

"I'll admit to the bullshit when you admit to dating Lili just because you want to make _me_ feel jealous!" Seeing Ben tense up even more than he had, you lightly nodded. "Just admit to using her, Ben, and this could all be over with." Looking down at you, Ben's attention was only caught by the necklace hung around your neck--the necklace you wanted that he bought to surprise you. "And somehow, I'm always the one at blame."

Turning around to walk off, Ben watched you, heart aching in his chest as he felt the one thing he only knew how to feel--regret.


	20. Ribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Ribs by Lorde

Ever since you had turned around and left Ben's sight, you were infuriated. Upset at the fact that he would attack you such way, disappointed that he'd call you out, and hurt by the thought that all of it--everything Ben had said--was true. Why did things always have to end up with you two arguing? Why was it over things that could've been resolved ages ago if he hadn't left--or better yet--the two of you weren't so hardheaded?

Becoming exhausted from the crying as you had walked far enough, you turned around and headed back home. Although you were happy Ben hadn't followed you, you were the slightest of disappointed because anything could've happened to you out there. Either way, you eventually made it back safe, thankful that your neighborhood wasn't bad.

Seeing your parents car, you sighed, walking over to the door and realizing it was locked. "Great..." Thankful for the fact that you had a spare key hidden in one of the plants vase out in the front yard (for when you used to sneak in), you pulled it out and opened the door.

Quietly closing it behind you, you walked over to the staircase and looked up, seeing your door partially opened, knowing very well Ben was in there sleeping. Rubbing your face from your sleepiness, you turned around and aimed for the couch. At this point, you were too upset to even bother to go upstairs and sleep in your own room, let alone, didn't have the will to see Ben. If you had, you'd would've probably awed at how cute he had looked sleeping and you didn't want that.

Leaving your slippers to a side and removing your robe to use as a blanket, you lied down on the couch and took in a small breath. "Four days of this...only three left." Sighing, you shut your eyes and let the night take you. Your dreams seemed far more intriguing than reality.

Shifting around in the rather small air mattress as Ben had found himself freezing up from how he barely fit on the bed, he only lied on his back and groaned. Staring at the ceiling, he looked over to your bed, only to narrow his brows. Sitting up as he noticed the sheets had been in the same spot as they were when he had fallen asleep, his eyes widened as he realized you weren't there.

Rappidly jumping up and accidentally waking up Jupiter and Kylo, Ben pulled the door open and rushed down the stairs, fearing something had happened to you. "I shouldn't have left her alone," He spoke to himself, about to run out the front door only to stop as he saw you lying on the couch. "For fucks sake..." Letting out a sigh in relief, Ben walked over to you, seeing how you were curled up into a ball, robe covering your small frame as his heart skipped a beat.

Rolling his eyes at the fact that you had been asleep on your own couch, Ben pushed his hand through his hair. Were you really that stubborn not to sleep in your own damn room? All because he had been in it? And for how long have you been lying there?

Not having the will or the heart to leave you lying there, Ben removed the robe from you, bending forward to pick you up in his arms and moving you from the couch to your bed.

Being lightly rocked in your spot as Ben had been moving you, your eyes slowly opened up, seeing nothing but a bare chest, your heart skipped a beat. Although you had been half asleep, you were still shocked. Slowly looking up, you had the urge to roll your eyes at the sight of Ben. One second he could be going off on you, but in the next, he takes care of you as if none of that ever happened.

It bothered you, because as indecisive as he was with the way he acted towards you, he always was there for you no matter what; and that made you fall harder for him each and every time. And you absolutely hated it.

Closing your eyes before Ben could realize you were awake, Ben quietly made it to your room and over to your bed, carefully lying you down and pulling the sheets over you. "With everything that we go through...just know that I don't hate you." Kissing your forehead, Ben went back to the air mattress, feeling as if he could sleep a little bit better now knowing you were safe and sound.

Taking in a quiet, deep breath as your cheeks began to burn, you bit your inner lip. You wanted all of this to end, for Ben to go back home and for you to be left alone. His kindness towards you had you at a lost, you knew he had a big heart, but why didn't he use it to prevent being in such difficult and disappointing situations?

In the end, you would never truly understand Ben Solo.

. . .

"Good morning, Ben." Turning from the stove and facing your mother, Ben gave her a small smile.

"Morning Mrs. Kenobi." He nodded, turning his attention back to the stove, tending to the food he had been making.

"I find it lovely that you cook unlike someone I know..." She intended her words towards her husband, the man rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I cook!"

"Yeah, alright..." Looking back over at Ben, she smiled. "Are you making breakfast for yourself?"

Shaking his head, he looked over for a moment, "Oh, no...I thought I'd make breakfast for y/n and I. I mean, it's only fair since I am staying in her room." Smiling at Ben, she nodded.

"That's very kind of you, you know her favorite breakfast-"

"Is strawberry waffles, bacon, and eggs." Ben quickly stated as your moms eyes widened. "Sorry...she had it almost everyday at my house ever since my dad had cooked it..."

Trying so hard not to smirk, your mother nodded again. "What a good best friend."

Blinking as his focus left the eggs and lifted up elsewhere, he took in a small, deep breath. "Uh...yeah." He nodded, your mother noticing the pause and sighing.

"I'm sure she'll enjoy it." She grinned. "I hope you don't mind, my husband and I will be going to run some errands, y/n's been bugging us to buy Halloween decorations." Your mother sighed.

"You know how much she loves halloween!" Your father called out as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, she does..." Ben spoke. "She's going to be very happy about that..."

"Exactly why we're going out!" Your father called out again as your mother sighed.

"Well, we will be leaving, don't want to spend all day shopping knowing my husband and how he is with decorations..." She pointed her thumb over to him as he had been walking over to her from the living room. "Please tell y/n when she wakes up."

"Will do." Ben nodded with a small smile.

"And don't think about doing anything weird, alright? No funny business, it took me a bit to be convinced that it was okay for you to stay alone with my little girl--specially to sleep in her own ro-"

"Let's go, honey." Your mother interrupted, pulling him by his shirt.

"I promise you, nothing will happen." Ben assured as the two walked away, your father raising a brow and watching him as he was being dragged away, eye contact breaking as the front door closed.

Hearing a door slam as it instantly woke you up, your eyes fluttered as you let out a groan, only for the first thing in your line of vision to be Kylo. Seeing the black cat all curled up, you smiled the slightest as you pet the top of his head, not surprised to see him there. Lifting up your head, you let out a sigh, looking at the time on your nightstand to see it was half past ten. Sitting up, you looked over to the floor to see Ben's spot in your room all fixed, air mattress all set up with the sheets folded and pillows stacked. Shaking your head as you looked around for Jupiter, you couldn't find a single sign of her.

"I guess it's just you and me." You spoke over to Kylo as he slowly lifted his head up, lightly meowing at you. Getting up from your spot as you aimed for your bathroom to freshen up, you looked in the mirror and groaned. "I look like crap..." Seeing how puffy your eyes were from all the crying you had done the night before, you had hopped that washing your face enough would lessen up the swelling.

Pulling your hair into a ponytail, you took in a deep breath before walking out the bathroom and out of your room, Kylo following you from behind. Hearing commotion coming from downstairs, you stopped in your tracks, looking over the staircase to see Jupiter walking over to the kitchen. Hearing meowing, you looked over to see Kylo sitting beside you. "Don't you want to see your girlfriend?" You nudged your head as Kylo meowed again. "Of course not, you're too attached to me." Walking on, Kylo continued with you.

Seeing Ben come into your line of vision as he had been setting up breakfast, you stopped in your tracks, seeing as he placed two plates down along with other plates that consisted of the breakfast. Frowning, your shoulders slumped. Why was he this way?

Turning off the stove and cleaning up the small mess, Ben hadn't noticed you were now approaching the island table rather quietly until he heard Kylo meow. Turning around, Ben froze as he saw you standing there, you looking at him and swallowing, trying to focus on anything else but him. "Morning..." He spoke as you nodded.

"Hey..." You lightly responded, looking at the food. "You made all of this?"

"Yeah...I thought it'd be nice to make breakfast since you'd be...hungry." Smiling the slightest, you realized that everything he had made was what you enjoyed having at his place. "And, because I'm staying in your room."

"Oh, yeah...thanks." Looking at the waffles, you then turned your attention towards him. "You didn't poison it?"

Sighing, Ben's shoulders slumped. "No, I didn't poison it. I'm not that evil."

"Hmm..." Feeling your eyes trail down to the apron he had been in, you lightly laughed. "Are you wearing my moms apron?" You pointed as he looked down, then sighed.

"Y-yeah...I, you know, could get dirty...food everywhere..." Smiling as you nodded your head, you let out a small laugh.

"Right..."

"So, uh, I didn't poison your food and you could sit and have some...or stand if that's what you want." Ben gestured, watching as you took a seat, hoping you liked what he made.

Serving yourself as you could feel Ben's eyes on you, you slowly looked up. "Are you going to watch me or are you going to join me?"

Raising his brows, he quickly removed the apron. "Yeah, uh, I mean...I didn't think you'd eat all of that on your own." Placing the apron down, he walked over to sit beside you. Eagerly watching as you were about to take your first bite, you only arched a brow.

"Ben..."

"Yes?" He spoke, focus being set on the fork in your grip.

"Why are you watching me?" You shifted your eyes over to him. "Are you sure you didn't poison it?"

"No-no! I just want to see if you like it or not." Ben spoke, still watching as you shifted your eyes back to the food, brows knitted. Taking your first bite, Ben sucked in his breath as you chewed, then swallowed. "So?"

"It's...really good." You nearly muttered as Ben smiled. "But your dad cooks better." Feeling his smile drop along with his shoulders, he only turned to serve his own food.

Sitting in silence the whole time, trying your best to act like Ben wasn't there--even if he had been the one to cook the food--you stood up to put your dishes into the sink. "I'll do the dishes if you don't mind." Looking over, you hadn't realized Ben was right beside you until he reached out an arm to put his dishes into the sink. Seeing the large mark on his forearm, your eyes widened for a moment. Since when did he have a rose tattoo on his arm?

"Uh, you don't have...to..." Shifting your eyes from the tattoo, up to him, you quickly looked away as he had been looking down at you.

"Just let me do them, I'm the one who cooked." Nodding, you took a step back as you let out a breath.

Putting the left overs away as you gave Ben the rest of the dishes, you were about to walk away until you stopped in your tracks, turning around. "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" You spoke, Ben tensing up in his spot. "I hope you know it doesn't mean that what happened last night is dismissed or that it didn't happen at all."

Standing there quietly as he put the dish down that had been in his hold along with the sponge, he looked over his shoulder. "I..."

"I mean, I appreciate you bringing me to my bed-"

"How did you-"

"And I appreciate the breakfast, but that doesn't stop the fact that we argued yesterday. It's like we can't go a week without arguing about something." You awkwardly laughed, shaking your head. "I try convincing myself that maybe this just happens because we've changed so much and haven't seen one another in so long but...a part of me feels that all we do is fight because this friendship just isn't-"

"No, don't say it." He quickly turned around as you blinked.

"Ben, all we do is fight, how-"

"I know we fight a lot, and I hate it, I really do. It kept me up that you weren't home, the fact that you weren't in your bed but out wondering around ate me alive-"

"I wasn't out wondering around. I was crying, Ben. I was crying because of you!" Your voice raised as he took in a deep breath. "Because all you seem to do is bring me down and I don't know how much more I can take." Seeing him gulp, you only shook your head. "It's not even worth it, I don't need to cry even more."

"Y/n, please-"

"No, I don't want to hear it-"

"Please, listen!" He nearly shouted as your brows knitted. "Okay, I was jealous. I was jealous because you left me alone here, you left to go on a 'date' with Hux when you actually went with Poe. I was annoyed that you lied, I hate being lied to and I'm sorry I exploded on you." He breathed, unable to fully admit to the truth. "I just...I don't know how to handle these situations easily because I've never been in one. I've never had a friend like you. Yes, I have Jesse and Sam but it isn't the same with them. I have Poe but Poe and I have a different relationship than you and I."

Letting out a breath as your once clenched fists loosened up, your shoulders dropped the slightest. "I just don't understand you, Ben. One second, you act like I'm your enemy but the next it's like I'm your prized possession."

Walking over to you, you looked up at him. "You're never my enemy, no matter how much we fight."

"Ben, with the way we argue, it's as if I am."

"I know and I'm sorry it's just...look, I've lost this friendship once before from moving and I really don't want to lose it again." Ben spoke as he moved closer.

"And you do that by yelling at me?" Your brows scrunched up as Ben shook his head.

"No, I just...I don't know how to handle it, okay? I love y-...I love this friendship and I appreciate it so much because unlike everyone else--as cheesy as this sounds--you understand and get me the most and I am afraid to lose that. To lose what we have, and when we get in these situations I get worked up and it's the fear that takes over and I get aggressive." He spoke nearly in one breath, you standing there and blinking, trying to take it all in. "But I always feel guilty and I regret it because you don't deserve it."

Looking down at the floor as you took in a deep breath, Ben stared at you, eagerly waiting for a response. "I'm a prick, I know that and I'm sorry. I am nothing but an asshole to you and all I ever do is make you cry and scream and I know best friends don't do that and I'm sorry. I am so sorry I really am and I understand if you can't take this anymore because I wouldn't be able to handle myself either. By now I would've left this friendship behind because I am the most shittiest person to be friends with and I don't deserve-"

Walking up to Ben, your arms wrapped around his waist as he stood there, eyes slightly widened at the sudden movement as his heart sank. Looking down at you, Ben hadn't realize he had been holding back tears until his burning eyes had pooled up, overflowing and streaming down his cheeks. Standing there still, Ben only bent forward and rested his head on your shoulder, arms slowly moving around your own waist. "I don't deserve this...I never understand why...you always have the heart to accept my apologies...when all I do is give you shit."

"Because..." Taking in a deep breath, you tightened your grip, "I don't want to lose this friendship either." You sighed. "Even when you're the biggest idiot ever." Lightly chuckling, Ben smiled as his grip around you grew tighter.

"Thank you." He muttered, deeply inhaling before lifting his head up to kiss the side of your head. "And I'm sorry for crying on your pretty pajamas." Smiling, you only moved your arms from his wast and grabbed his face.

"You're so dumb." Kissing his cheek, you smiled at him. "But that's okay, one of us has to be."

Standing up straight, Ben shook his head with a small laugh. "Wow, thank you." Turning back around, walking back over to the sink to finish the dishes, your brows narrowed.

"Are you really going to do the dishes?" You asked as Ben nodded. Letting out a small sigh, you walked over and removed the sponge from his grip. "There's a washer machine for a reason." Patting his arm as you gave him a smirk, you only left his sight.

"Hey, wait." Turning around to face you, you stopped in your tracks.

"Yeah?" You spoke, turning the slightest to see him.

"Do you want to do something today?" Ben asked, standing there eyeing you with a faint smile. "Maybe go out somewhere, anywhere?"

"Uh," Rubbing the back of your neck, you nodded. "Yeah, sure...where to?"

Thinking about it, Ben shrugged. "An arcade? You know, Fett's arcade? I haven't been there in a while..."

Smiling, you nodded again. "Oh, yeah! Totally!"

"Great!" Ben smiled. "We can go now...well, I mean, after we get ready and I put the dishes in the washer." Feeling the slightest of excited, Ben couldn't help but give you a toothy grin.

"Yeah, I'll go shower and get ready." You pointed upstairs before turning around and walking off, trying so hard not to smile even though you were happy that you two were civil again. But the second you had left Ben's sight and made it to your room, and the second you saw his phone go off with Lili's name on it, your smile dropped. Realizing he had never admit to using Lili, your shoulders slumped. Even if one thing was solved, there was always another left unsolved.

Taking in a deep breath and flipping the phone over, you moved to your closet to grab an outfit before aiming to your bathroom. For the day, you had hoped Lili was going to be non-existent and not ruin your plans like she had the last time--something you were still bitter about.

Finishing up the dishes, Ben suddenly felt guilt rush over him. Why was it that you were so easily forgiving when it came to him? Sure, you had liked him and he found out two days ago--which he had wished you had mentioned way before he said yes to Lili--and sure you two were best friends...but that shouldn't have given you a good enough reason to keep a friend like him.

Although he had been beating himself up about it, he was more than thankful that you had kept him around, because (unlike the rest of his friends) you were the one who seemed to understand him the most--at least, sometimes. The one who befriended him when no one (aside from Phasma) wanted to. The one who had won his heart (but was too foolish to admit to it).

Walking up the staircase and aiming for your room, he pushed the door open only to have his breath hitch as his eyes widened. "Sorry!" He exclaimed, you standing there using your shirt to instantly cover your chest as you had just been in your skinny jeans and bra.

Staring at him with wide eyes as he stood there, you blinked. "B-Ben?" Seeing him stare back at you, he only shook his head as he quickly shut the door, heart racing as he took in deep breaths. Pressing his back against the wall as he leaned his head back, he placed his hand against his chest, feeling his heart throb.

"You're an idiot..." He muttered to himself. "You shouldn't have stared at her..." Feeling his cheeks burn, Ben gulped. "Now you're turned on."

Tugging your blouse over your head, you cleared your throat. "You...you can come in now!" You called out to Ben, the young man slowly opening the door as if preventing a round two. "It's alright."

Pushing the door open, Ben walked in. "I'm sorry, your door was unlocked and I had-"

"It's...it's fine..." You waved your hand dismissively, shaking your head. "I'm sorry, I should've locked it but I thought you wouldn't come upstairs." Looking away as you went to put your shoes on, Ben simply nodded as he blinked, attention turning over to his phone and seeing the screen facing down. Narrowing his brows, he reached for it, looked over at you then back at it as he hit the home button. Seeing the multiple notifications from Lili, he looked at you for a moment as his shoulders slumped, knowing very well you must've seen it--possibly why the phone was flipped.

"I'm gonna use your shower..." Looking up, you nodded, Ben tossing his phone onto the air mattress as he aimed for your bathroom.

The entire time Ben had been showering, you had been doing your make up at your dresser rather than bathroom sink since it had been occupied. Adding mascara, you heard the bathroom door open as you slowly looked over, Ben peaking his head out as he awkwardly laughed. "What?" You asked, hand lowering from your eyelashes.

"I never got a towel..." He nervously smiled.

Raising your brows, you nodded. "Oh, uh...they're in there." You pointed as Ben took a step back, you letting out a small sigh and walking over, hoping you wouldn't see anything. "In there." Pointing at the cabinet, Ben nodded.

"Thanks, sorry."

"No problem." Quickly walking out as Ben shut the door behind you, you let out a breath as if you had been holding it in.

Finishing up your makeup as you eyed your face, satisfied with what you had done, you picked up the spot before turning around and seeing Ben standing there with his towel wrapped around his waist. "My clothes..." He pointed over to the mattress, your eyes slowly trailing. "Can you..."

"Oh, yeah." Turning around and bending over, you grabbed the pile before turning back and walking over to him, trying so hard not to stare at his bare torso. "Is this payback for when I had forgotten my towel and clothes at your house?" You raised a brow as Ben shook his head with a smile.

"Oh, no...I just, I wasn't thinking." He spoke as you nodded. "You know, excited..." Seeing him nod, you laughed the slightest.

"Yeah." Standing there as a silence washed over the two of you, Ben gulped.

"I should...change..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Nodding, you scratched your head before turning around and walking over to your phone. "I'll be downstairs waiting." You spoke as Ben watched you for a while longer before closing the door behind him.

"Alright."

Grabbing your purse and stuffing in your phone as you made your way to the door, you stopped in your tracks as you had forgotten your keys. Turning around and walking to your desk, grabbing your keys from the table, you turned around to see Ben walking out in his rather tight jeans putting his belt through the hoops. "Uh..."

Looking up at you, he smiled. "Sorry, your bathroom is kinda small." Watching as he was pulling the belt through the buckle, you blinked. "I was thinking that after we can go to the diner and eat? I know it isn't much of an option but Maz loves seeing you and I know how much you love your milkshake."

Watching him as he finished, shifting his eyes over to you as he pulled his shirt from over his shoulder, you took in a deep breath. "I would love to but-"

"Oh, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "Last Friday."

"Yeah..." You sighed.

"Well, we can go somewhere else? We could do Jabba's again or maybe try something new?" He spoke as your eyes shifted away from his torso as it constantly found its way there.

"Uh-It...it's up to you-" Hearing Ben gasp as he tugged his long sleeved tee on, your brows furrowed.

"I know a place, I'm sure you've never been there and I've only been once with my mother. It really nice and it has an outdoor patio that over looks a pretty big lake...you can see some mountains." He eagerly nodded with a wide grin.

"Oh, okay, yeah we can go to wherever it is." You smiled back as Ben went to grab his keys and wallet, nearly forgetting his phone until you had picked it up and handed it over.

"Trust me, you'll love the scenery." He spoke over to you before you two exited your room. "I'm sure of it."


	21. Lock You Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Lock You Up by Charli XCX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I posted this so late! I was in disney last friday to sunday and totally forgot when I got back :(

As every other car ride you’ve ever had with Ben, you had found yourself being introduced to new music, new sounds, and so far a new taste in genre. Adding to the ever growing lists of artists and songs on the notes built into your phone, the entire time he drove the two of you to the arcade you had found yourself enjoying the sound.

“I told you I’d kick your ass at this, I love racing games and do not get me started on go kart.” You spoke over to Ben as the two of you had been racing one another at one of the games in the arcade.

“Don’t get so cocky, kid, I’m in second place.” He smirked as you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever you say, bud.” Seeing that you had one lap left, the two of you constantly bumped into one another, cars clashing as Ben would reach over to your wheel to turn it while you would shove his face away. “Stop cheating!”

“Stop winning!” He shouted back.

“You’re such a loser!” Shoving his hand away from your wheel as the finish line was coming into view, you grunted. “Just let me win! Sheesh!” Pushing his hand away, you grabbed onto his wrist and fought to keep your car in place.

“No way!” Shaking his head, you looked at him for a moment, let go of his hand and poked around him, trying to find his tickle spot. “You seriously think you can tickle me?”

“Yep!” Poking his arm, his ribs, under his arm and anywhere possible, you only grabbed onto his thigh and gave it a squeeze, causing him to jump. “Aha!” Moving your hand back to your wheel, you made it to first place.

“That’s uncalled for! You distracted me!” He exclaimed as you turned to face him, standing up and shrugging.

“I’m sorry, uncalled for?” Bending forward to be at eye level with him, your voice lowered. “Sorry you’re such a sore loser, babe.” With a wink, you stood back up straight and moved to another game.

Sitting there, blanking, Ben gulped. Did you just call him babe? And was he actually intimidated–and the slightest of turned on–by the way you spoke to him?

Yes, of course he was.

Playing one of the zombie hunting games, you called out for Ben. “Come on, play with me, this is better with two people!” Waving a hand, gesturing for him to join you, Ben took in a deep breath before standing up and walking over to you. “At least this one isn’t competitive.” You elbowed him as he picked up the gun and nodded.

Playing a mixture of games from table hockey to virtual games to even more racing ones (which, you had continuously won) the two of you were now standing at the basketball one. “I’ve never played basketball a day in my life, how do you expect me to play this with you?” You spoke over your shoulder to him as he insisted the two of you play.

“Oh, it isn’t all that bad-”

“Coming from a tall person.” You crossed your arms as Ben rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’ll teach you. It isn’t tricky at all, it’s just how you stand and use your arms.” He nodded as you let out a small breath. “It’ll be worth it, you could use it in gym for free play.” He winked at you as you shook your head.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll stick to amazing Rey with my gymnastic skills.” You nodded as Ben’s shoulders dropped, nearly forgetting how you had nearly busted his nose from crashing into him–all due to him staring at your exposed underwear.

“Fair enough. But I’m still going to show you.”

“Fine, fine…” Moving directly in front of the hoop as Ben moved behind you, you instantly feeling his hands on your hips.

“Alright, your postures the first thing.” Moving his hands to your waist to help you get a good balance and stance, chills instantly ran down your spine as his his palms came to contact with your bare skin. Nearly forgetting your shirt was slightly cropped and exposed some of your stomach, you swallowed hard as you tried not enjoying the feeling of his hands on you.

Of course, Ben doing the same. He hadn’t realized he had been touching skin until his hands had moved the slightest and felt the soft texture of your smooth skin. Sucking in his breath, Ben’s hands moved up to your shoulders as you grabbed onto one of the basketballs. “And then your arms should be this way…” Sliding his hands over to your own hands, his own practically engulfing yours as each of his fingers lied in between the spaces of your own, you nearly shivering.

Showing you how to toss the ball as your eyes were focused on his hands rather than the hoop, nearly tuning out his voice, you had noticed that the ball had left your grip and made it into the hoop; you were too busy focusing on the fact that both of your hands were practically being held by his own. “That’s how you do it.”

Nodding as you gulped, Ben’s hold on you slowly slipped away as he want to grab his own ball to toss it in, you doing the same and not realizing you had been scoring as all you had thought about was Ben’s hands. You just loved them, they were so _big_ compared to yours, they looked like they could smack someone into oblivion…which only made you think, how would it feel if he-

“Great job! See, I told you you could do it!” Snapping out of it, you smiled as you looked at Ben for a moment.

“Yeah, no thanks to you.” Seeing how the timer was running low as the two of you continuously made shots, the game buzzed.

“Look at that, we made twenty shots.” He nodded, laying his hand on top of your head. “We make a good team.” He smiled over at you as you had given him a small one back.

“Yeah…totally.”

…

“I told you the arcade was a good idea.” Ben spoke over to you as the two of you sat on a pair of stools, at the counter and waiting for your tickets to be counted as you sipped away your drink. “Last time I came here…I was probably ten.” He nodded as you sucked on your straw, getting every bit of the lemonade you had been drinking.

“Jeez, seven years ago?” You raised a brow. “I think the last time I was here was last summer with Poe and Finn, Rey was too busy doing who knows what.” Shrugging, yours and Ben’s attention turned to the person who had been dealing with your tickets.

“You, sir, have 832 tickets.” Handing Ben back his bucket of tickets, the man then turned to you. “And you have 1,168 tickets.”

“Jeez, what the hell?” Ben narrowed his brows as you shrugged.

“I call it luck.” You teased. “And I’m just that good.” Shaking his head with a small grin, the man behind the counter spoke up.

“Would you like to combine the two for a bigger prize?” He asked as you and Ben exchanging looks, you shrugging once again as Ben nodded.

“Yeah, sure. How much will that be?” Ben asked.

“Exactly…” Adding it up, the man turned the calculator to you two, “2,000 tickets.”

Raising your brows, you removed the straw from your mouth. “What can we get from that?”

“Almost anything up there,” The man pointed to the top shelfs and large stuffed bears. “And anything on the top rack here.” He pointed to the glass case under you.

Looking at Ben, he only pointed his hand out. “Go ahead, choose.”

“Choose?”

“You got the most tickets, so pick something.”

Nodding your head, you looked around, unsure of what to get. “Jeez…so much.” Looking around, your eyes landed on a pair of bracelets that only costed 50 tickets. “Those.”

“That’s only 50 tickets?” Ben raised a brow as you nodded. “What about the 1,950 tickets left?”

“You can use them.” You nodded as the man grabbed the matching yarn bracelets. “Here, let’s be cheesy.” You smiled to Ben, handing him one as you put your own on, pulling the string so the knot tightened.

Looking at the bracelet, then at you putting it on, Ben’s heart melted. Out of all the teddy bears you could’ve gotten or gadgets, you got a pair of bracelets for either of you. _Why is she so cute?_ Putting it on, Ben took in a deep breath. He wasn’t one to cry easily, but if he could, he would about this.

“Perfect, we match!” You smiled at him as you moved your wrist next to his as he smiled back.

“And what will you be getting?” The man asked Ben as he looked up, eyeing the options.

“Uh…I’ll just get that giant stuffed star.” Ben pointed, looking over at you. “Kylo can use it as a bed.” Chuckling the slightest as you watched the man bring it down and hand it over, the two of you stood up.

“You still have 950 points left, would you like me to put them on your card?” Nodding over at Ben, Ben then nodded at the man.

“Yeah, we can come sometime soon again.” He smiled at you, handing his card over.

“Maybe we can bring Finn, Rey, and Poe?” You nodded with a smile. “It’ll be fun seeing Rey and Poe get all competitive.” Letting out a chuckle, Ben smiled the slightest. Although the idea sounded wonderful, specially having Poe along, Ben preferred it be the two of you. Not only because he’d be alone with you (which, of course, was the biggest reason) but he loved seeing how competitive and excited you got playing the games.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” He nodded, grabbing the card back as he thanked the man, the two of you walking on as Ben held the star pillow while you sipped your drink. “But I think it’ll be more fun with the two of us, you know, competition.” He shrugged with a wink, you looking at him and taking in a small breath.

Walking ahead of you as he pulled out his keys, you sighed with a shake of your head. You had hoped he was saying it in a friendly manner, because the way his facial expressions were, it did not correlate.

Rushing to his side as he went to open the passenger door, you thanked him before he handed you the pillow, you grabbing onto it and hugging it, not realizing how soft it was. “Kylo better appreciate this.” You spoke over to Ben as he took his spot on the drivers seat, starting the car and leaving the parking lot.

“I’m sure he will…” Ben nodded. “Hopefully, he tends to sleep on my bed most of the time, if not, under it.”

“Oh, you could put the pillow under your bed…I’d say on top but it doesn’t match your dull room.” You teased as Ben let out a small gasp.

“My room is not dull. It has some colors!” He exclaimed as you laughed.

“Yeah? Like what? On the posters? That doesn’t even count!” Shaking your head as Ben sighed, you smiled over at him. “I’m just messing with you, you also have some on your television screen when you turn it on.”

Narrowing his eyes as he looked over at you for a moment, you lifted your hands up defense. “Ha. Ha. You are so funny, y/n, wow!” He sarcastically spoke as you grinned, stifling a laugh.

“Oh, don’t be so grumpy.” You poked his cheek. “Smile more, appreciate that I am spending quality time with you rather than my cat.”

“Psht, or my own cat.” He muttered with a roll of his eyes. “I can’t believe you’d say goodbye to my cat and not me.”

Raising your brows as your turned to him, you gasped the slightest. “Are you serious?! You’re bothered by that?!”

“Yes!” He nodded.

“Really?!” You nearly shrieked.

“Yes, really! My best friend said goodbye to my cat and not me! What if you died?!”

“Ben, now you’re being irrational! We were fighting, you think I’m actually going to speak to you?” You crossed your arms.

“We were not fighting, you were ignoring me.”

“I was not ignoring you…” You lied, Ben raising a brow at you as he had came to a red light. “Okay, maybe I was, but what do you want?!”

“Fine, fine.” He swatted a hand. “I’m still bitter.”

Rolling your eyes, you huffed. “Of course you are.” Shaking your head you crossed your arms, Ben looked at you and lightly smiled.

Moving over the slightest to hug you, you only shoved him away. “Let me hug you.”

“Ugh, no.” Pushing him away as Ben laughed, his arms grew tighter and tighter around you, to the point where you couldn’t fight him anymore. “Jeez, Ben! Aren’t you supposed to be bitter?” You asked as Ben nodded.

“Yes, but not bitter enough that I can’t hug you because I appreciate you.” He smiled as you sighed, rolling your eyes once again.

“The light is green.” You nudged your head, Ben frowning and letting go of you as he sat up.

“You’ll eventually hug me back, it’ll happen.” He pointed a finger as you held back a laugh.

“Yeah, okay, in your dreams.”

…

“So this is the place?” Standing in front of the entrance of the restaurant, your eyes widened the slightest. “It’s so nice…”

“Yeah, it’s fairly new.” Ben stated, grabbing your hand to pull you inside. “Come on, lets go in.” Walking inside, you gasped the slightest at the interior.

It was almost as if you were in some fictional world with how it was set up, so much nature and so many pretty lights. “It’s so pretty…”

“Wait till you see the outside.” Ben grinned, walking up to podium.

“Ben!” Hearing a woman call out, Ben smiled as you had been too caught up in a gaze. “Oh, how lovely it is to see you.” Being engulfed in a tight hug as he had hugged back the older woman with on arm–his other hand still in yours–she then gasped, noticing it. “Is that your girlfriend?”

Looking down at your hand, Ben shot his head up, shaking it. “N-no, I was just dragging her in because she was too busy gawking…” Looking over at you, he sighed. “As you can see…”

Smiling, the older woman then smirked. “She’s quite lovely…”

“You sound like mom.” He groaned, rolling his eyes back.

“Oh, I wonder why?” She sarcastically spoke, a brow raised.

“Yeah, yeah.” He swatted a hand. “Y/n, would you like to meet the owner?” Ben asked as you completely missed what he said. “Y/n?” Letting out a heavy breath, Ben held onto your chin and turned your attention towards him. “Hello? Hey, yeah, you okay?” He chuckled as you nodded.

“Sorry, I’ve never seen such a pretty restaurant in all of D'Qar.” You spoke. “I’ve been practically everywhere in this town and nothing beats this.”

“That’s because this lovely woman made it come to be.” Ben presented the woman in front of him, you not noticing her until now.

“Oh..oh! You have such wonderful taste in interior design!” You smiled.

“I wouldn’t take full credit, I had someone help me, but thank you.” She smiled back. “Ben, would you like to introduce this lovely character to me?”

Blinking, he nodded. “Uh, yeah, y/n this is my grandmother and she owns this restaurant.” He introduced with a thin smile.

“Yes, this is Café Naboo and I’m his grandmother _Padmé_.” She corrected. “Padmé Animala-Skywalker.”

Rolling his eyes, Ben shook his head. “Is the whole name necessary, nana?”

“Yes, of course! It’s a proper introduction.” She waved hand as Ben sighed, then turning her attention to you. “But don’t worry, honey, you can just call me Padmé.” With a bright smile, you smiled back, already loving Ben’s grandmother.

“You have such a beautiful name!” You squealed.

“Thank you, you as well.” She pointed a hand. “Oh, pardon me, you must be hungry. Let me get you two a table.”

“We _are_ hungry.” Ben corrected as his grandmother ignored him.

“I’m assuming you want outdoor so I will take you to the best spot that has the best view of lake Naboo” Grabbing the menus, Padmé guided the two of you out. “I’m glad you chose to bring your _friend_ here, Ben, it’s the best place to come to.” She wiggled her brows, neither of you seeing this as her back was facing you.

The second you had walked out of the restaurant and out to its patio, your jaw dropped. Ben wasnt lying when he said it had a view, it just wasn’t one you expected.

The lake and the mountains in the horizon looked absolutely beautiful and breath taking, the way the patio sat right on the water as there was a small bridge splitting the patio in two as a small waterfall sat right under it. You wished you could live there. If waking up every morning consisted of such view, you definitely wouldn’t think twice of moving.

Staring at the like as it shined with the suns beam, the bright star slowly setting as night was falling, the skies turned into shades of pinks and oranges as you gazed at what mother nature had to offer. It was perfect, to the point you wish you could paint it rather than taking a photo (which you did the second you two had sat).

“Here you two go.” Placing the menus down at the small table, you hadn’t realized your hand had still been attached to Ben’s until you pulled it away to grab your phone from your purse to take the photo.

Slightly frowning as he–in all honesty–didn’t want you to let go, the thought of Lili and Hux only reminded him that you still weren’t his and that he was taken. “Thanks, nana.”

Kissing the top of Ben’s head, she only smirked. “Do you take that much care of your hair?” She asked as Ben blushed the slightest. “It’s so soft and smells absolutely wonderful…you take after your mother and I, I see.” Trying to hide himself within the menu, you only smiled at their relationship. “Except for that hairdo…what are you, twelve?”

Blushing even more, Ben groaned. “I think his hair looks lovely.” You nodded.

“Only because you’re a wonderful young lady and because you are his friend, I will consider your comment of a bowl haircut being lovely a friendly statement.” Padmé spoke as you chuckled.

“I had to cut it for school, alright? My hair was too long before and a little out of hand.” Ben spoke up, pushing the hair to a side as you simply smiled to yourself, looking at the menu. “And thank you, y/n. See, my hair isn’t all that bad.” He spoke up to his grandmother as she simply shrugged.

“I’ll leave you two kids be.” She patted the table before looking at you. “If you need anything, please let me know. Enjoy!”

“Thank you, Mrs. Amidala.” Seeing her raise a brow, you corrected yourself. “Padmé, sorry.”

“It’s fine, dear.” With a sweet smile, she then walked off.

“Tell me how is it that you win everyone’s heart in my family? Even my cat’s?” Ben raised a brow as you simply shrugged.

“I guess I’m just that lovable.” You grinned to yourself as Ben gazed at you. He couldn’t agree more as you had won his heart as well, he just couldn’t admit to it.

“Fair enough.”

Looking down at the menus and having small talk here and there, getting your drinks and eventually giving in your order, you had found yourself gazing out at the lake now that the sun was setting and the moon was shining. Seeing as you leaned your chin in the palm of your hands as your focus was set on the nature, Ben had the urge to take a photo of you, noticing how beautiful you had looked.

Without even thinking, Ben had his phone already out, discreetly opening up his camera and acting as if he had been searching for something online. Taking the photo, he lowered the phone and smiled at it, setting it to be your icon on your contact. If it wasn’t for the fact that people could easily see his background, he would’ve (without a doubt) made you it.

“You know, that necklace you’re wearing is awfully familiar…” Ben spoke up as he lied his phone on the table, screen facing down as you turned to face him.

Smiling, you looked down at it. “Funny story, when I was staying at my best friends house– _Rey_ –I saw this rectangular box on my air mattress.” You spoke in shock as Ben faked a gasp.

“No way…!”

“Yeah! So I thought it was a mistake, must’ve been hers, but when I opened it I saw it had been the necklace I had been wanting for so long. It’s amazing how things like this spontaneously happen!” You spoke with wide eyes as Ben had the same reaction.

“That’s crazy, I wish I could magically find things I wanted.” He pouted as your shoulders dropped.

“If you mention it you probably will.” You nodded. “You know, maybe santa can come early this year.”

“Oh, that would be so very kind of him since he came early for you.” Ben fought a laugh as he nodded.

“I really have to thank him. I’ve been asking my boyfriend to get it for me but it seems as if the only person I can rely on to listen to my wants is santa, sadly.” You frowned as Ben had done the same.

“But I’m sure santa doesn’t mind, he probably enjoys giving you things.” Smiling as your cheeks turned a light tint of pink, Ben grinned.

“Well then I guess santa is the best man there is.” You shrugged. “And I couldn’t thank him more.”

“Santa appreciates it.” Seeing Ben smile over at you, your eyes trailed down his arm that were lightly crossed on the table, noticing the fairly new tattoo once again.

“Does santa want to explain why he has a tattoo?” You spoke as you eyed the mark on his skin, Ben looking down and letting out a small breath.

“Actually, this is my second tattoo, my first one is KOR and it’s on the side of my bicep.” He pointed out, rolling his sleeve up and showing you. “You wouldn’t have noticed because it’s pretty small and covered.”

Looking at it, your brows raised. You never thought Ben would get his bands initials tattooed on him in a digital font–let alone–get the tattoo at all. Sure, you would’ve expected him to get one eventually with the way he was and the style he had, but you didn’t think it’d be so small and his band.

Of course, that is if he hadn’t had the rather large rose on his inner forearm now. Although it easily would grab anyones attention with its size, you liked it. It wasn’t colored in, rather an outline of a rose with thorns. As cheesy as the thought sound, the design of it worked well and you actually liked it.

“And the rose? What does it mean?” You curiously asked as Ben’s heart skipped a beat, quietly gulping as he looked down at it.

“Oh, well…I just thought the idea was neat, y'know? A thorny rose…pain behind the beauty? A sort of metaphor for…life.” He lied as you bought it, wasn’t like you would’ve assumed it was about your relationship with Ben any day.

“What a cool concept, did you just pick it out or did you draw it yourself?” Leaning your chin in both of your palms as you eyed the tattoo, Ben nodded.

“Yeah, I designed it myself. It was pretty quick, actually, took me like…five minutes to draw out. I really liked the idea of it and thought it would be nice to get it permanently on my body.” He chuckled as you smiled. “Although I hope I don’t regret it and that my mom doesn’t murder me for it…she almost did when she found out about the KOR one…”

“How old is it?” You asked.

“Got it last year with the guys, they got theirs in different spots but same size and font.” Ben stated as you nodded. “Mom found out months later which was great because for a while no one knew…well, that’s because I rarely saw mom and dad didn’t notice because he was busy so it slid.”

“And now this one definitely won’t.” You pointed at the tattoo. “You can’t possibly hide it unless you wear a long sleeve all day, everyday.”

“I don’t intend on hiding it this time, I paid for it and I’ll soon be considered a legal adult…and I’m sure my parents expect that I’d get more since it’s kind of suits my persona.” Ben shrugged.

“More? Do you want more after this one?” You curiously asked as Ben took in a small breath.

“I’m not sure, it’s cool and all but I don’t want to fill my body or anything. Plus, if I do end up working for my dads business I’m sure I’d be looked at differently. I’m also, surprisingly, not so addicted to the thought of tattoos which helps me out. But…I guess my limit is five, who knows.”

Slowly nodding your head as you continued to gaze at the tattoo, you smiled. “Whatever makes you happy, Ben.”


	22. Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Drive by Halsey

Nothing compared to watching the sun slowly set with the scenery you had around you. The beautiful mountains that surrounded the rather vast body of water--it almost felt like you were somewhere else in a fantasy world. How could you have not known about this place? It was absolutely breathtaking and possibly one of the best dates you've ever had.

Date?

Shaking the thought away as you had found yourself lost in your daydreams, watching the people on swan paddle-boats across the lake, you lightly smiled. It was a date, in a sense, a friend date; and, in all honesty, it had beat any date Hux had ever given you.

You wish you had more moments like these, where you could get away, lost in nature--or at least, part of nature, seeing as you were at a restaurant. It just made you feel at ease, with how eventful (if you must) the last weeks have been for you, you needed something like this. You need a place to get away to, to be left alone with nature and have it ease your aching soul.

It was exhausting, everything from schooling to your troubles to even yourself, you had never expected your senior year to be this way. Most of your life, ever since the first day of kindergarten, you had imagined how your last year of schooling--at least grade school--would be. In your mind, it was going to be fun: lots of events, good friends to spend them with, stress-free and simply thinking about keeping up your grades to transfer to the school of your dreams.

Not where you were now.

Sure, being in the cheerleading team, theater, AP classes and having a social life may have seemed pretty amazing...but not when you felt as if you were losing yourself. It didn't help that you had a boyfriend who was barely there for you unless you _went_ to him. Then, there was your long lost best friend Ben Solo. The ultimate reason why you were practically suffering.

The feelings you had for him were other worldly--you had never felt this way for anyone, not even Hux. The way he made your heart flutter to the fact that you felt you couldn't even breathe around him said so much. It was a shame he had left you behind and hadn't returned until years later.

You couldn't stand how things ended up. If he had stayed, would you be with him instead? Would Lili even be around? Would KOR exist? Would you even be _friends_ with Hux? So many questions bombarded your mind, it started making you feel--and look--uneasy, and Ben could easily see this.

Wasn't like he was watching you the whole time as you were caught in a trance, here and there he'd look at the scenery as well, maybe even his phone (which he'd instantly lock because of the creep he was making you his wallpaper). He just couldn't help but admire the beauty you were--you were one of a kind.

"Hey, don't get too lost in your head." Ben spoke up, you blinking and turning to face him with a halfhearted smile. "Just enjoy the view for the view, don't let your thoughts consume you."

Taking in a small breath as you nodded, you looked down at your hands that now lied on your thighs. One thing about Ben that Hux couldn't seem to possibly do was read you. _I could make a list of things as to why Ben is better than Hux_. "Sorry...I just...I haven't been left in silence for a while. Well, _some_ silence." You spoke with a small nod, Ben's brows lightly furrowing.

"You know, sometimes you just got to get away from it all and be left with yourself." He spoke as you looked up. "As terrible as that sounds, sometimes you need to understand yourself and find out exactly what it is thats troubling you. I'm not saying to stay alone for too long, that can be toxic. But sometimes...sometimes you just need that sort of solitude. Coming from a person who's pretty lonely, I'll admit, at times it helps."

Nodding as you eyed Ben, you took in a small breath. "As strange as that may seem...you're right. It's just, I'm never really alone. I'm always busy and someones always there with me. The only time I'm alone--which isn't alone because Jupiter is there--is when I'm in my bedroom."

Feeling a lightbulb turn on above his head, Ben sat up. "I think I can help you with that."

Narrowing your brows the slightest, you tilted your head. "How? I mean, this place is a nice example but there's people around and I'm not really-" Cutting yourself off as you watched Ben reach into his shirt and pulling out a chain you hadn't noticed was wrapped around his neck, he stuck his hand out. "A key?" You questioned, looking at the silver necklace that had a matching key attached to it.

"You see, my dad helps run this hotel and bought out the penthouse room but they--mom and dad--rarely use it and I kind of took the key and made a copy because it was a sort of go-to place when I was feeling down." He spoke as he eyed the key in his hand. "But I think you need it more now than I do." Reaching his hand out more as your eyes followed it, you took in a small breath.

"Ben, I-"

"Take it, trust me, I want _you_ to have it." Looking up at him and seeing a small smile, you nodded.

Reaching out to grab it, you then pulled it over your head and allowed it to dangle around your neck. "Where is it exactly?"

. . .

After what felt like hours sitting at the table and simply conversing--along with eating--you and Ben stood up from your seats, just about to leave until Ben had noticed how much you were eyeing the lake. "You wanna paddleboat?" He spoke up, you turning your attention over to him.

"What? Oh, no...that's fine." You waved your hand

"Y/n, you clearly want to with how much you've been staring at it, I really don't mind." He chuckled as you smiled.

"If you insist you don't mind then..." Seeing him nod, you nodded back. "Please?"

"I'm sure my grandmother would appreciate how long we've been here and she probably would insist we try it. So, why not?" Grabbing your hand and taking you over to the dock, you couldn't help but grin in excitement. Standing by his side as Ben had paid for the ride, Ben pulled you over to where the swan paddleboat had been 'parked', Ben letting you go first as he helped you get on, him following.

"I haven't gone paddle-boarding in so long..." You spoke up as the two of you began to paddle. "My dad used to take me and my brothers, of course they boys would be on their own unless we had a four seater...then they'd sit in the back. They always fought to get the second seat to paddle, seeing as dad always had to be the first, but since I'm the only daughter I always go it." You grinned as Ben smiled over to you. "They hated the four seaters, so most of the time they got their own."

"It sounds like you've had some good times with your family." Ben spoke as he looked a head, you nodding.

"Yeah, we've got some pretty great memories. Most of the time it's our dad taking us to places bc our family is an odd number and my mom doesn't care all that much for the outdoors." You stated. "There was this one time she did join us, I was like five, and we went canoeing and she didn't want my brothers to separate from us so we all sat on the same canoe and lets just say after that day she never joined us on outdoor activities again."

"What happened?" Ben asked with a small chuckle.

"Well, my brothers a dumb--obviously--and they insisted they could use the paddles, but seeing as there was only one left, they fought for it." You sighed as Ben looked over at you. "As they were fighting, my mom was trying to get them to let go of the paddle but as she was, the three of them flipped over the boat and...yeah." You laughed thinking about it.

"What about you and your dad?"

"Oh, we were fine, just got splashed. I remember laughing a lot because I was a kid and you know, what is common sense?" You shrugged as Ben smiled.

"I can imagine, I've kind of been in that position before and it had a pretty similar outcome." Ben nodded. "Dad took Rey and I kayaking. He was on his own while Rey and I shared one. Of course, we fought for who got in the front and dad said to just let Rey have it since she's shorter, mind you, we were like ten at the time so we were pretty close in height, but whatever. I was pretty upset so I was constantly messing with her the whole time to the point she got fed up, tried whacking me with her paddle and before we knew it, the kayak flipped over."

Raising your brows, you gasped the slightest. "Were you two okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I mean...after dad stopped laughing his ass off, he helped us out but...yeah, Rey was pissed and I have to admit that was probably the highlight of my childhood." He chuckled as you smiled.

"It's always the brothers who are causing trouble." You shook your head, looking away as you watched the moon become the center of attention in the night sky.

Feeling his laugh slowly die out as the wide grin on his face lessened to that of a small smile, Ben took in a deep breath. How was it that something as simple as you gazing up at the night sky made his heart race? You looked so calm, so at ease and all he wanted to do was hold you close.

Sitting there, peddling away as all you could hear was the water splashing and the distant hum of people talking, you took in a deep breath. This was something you wish you could do more often--something you wished your boyfriend would do with you. His ideal dates were for you to go to his debates and root him on when, in reality, you were always pulling hairs at how bored you were.

At first, you didn't mind them, you liked seeing Hux happy and doing what he enjoyed...but then, after constantly going and seeing how boring debates were, you grew tired. They weren't fun and Hux barely had time to give you any attention--the only attention he truly gave you was kissing you because he 'won' the debate. Other than that, he never really invited you to have dinner or hangout at his place after.

Sighing as you stopped peddling, Ben noticing this and doing the same, you sat there. Maybe the hotel room was going to be of good use. Maybe you could disappear there when you didn't want to be found or needed to be left alone.

Sitting back in your spot, crossing your arms and rubbing them, feeling the temperature drop as night had fallen, you lightly shivered. Blinking and watching you, Ben couldn't seem to look away, you were just so breathtaking. _You're such a fucking creep, she's going to notice._

As if right on cue, you turned over to look at him, heart skipping a beat as you realized he had already been focused on you. Lightly smiling at him as your heart began to race, realizing the look on his face wasn't just that of him lost in a trance, rather, admiration. Simply gazing back as you swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling your body grow tense, you couldn't seem to look away.

As much as he was transfixed on you, you were as well on him.

Not realizing that it was happening, you and Ben were slowly leaning in, gravitating towards one another as either hearts were fluttering all over the place. Feeling his breathing against you as your faces were inches away, you instantly panicked. _No, no, I'm with Hux!_

Realizing what was happening as he hadn't, almost as if he were subconsciously leaning in, Ben's eyes widened. _She's with Hux and I'm with Lili!_

Pushing Ben away as he was about to lean back, the two of you instantly fell over, and before you could even process what was happening, the two of you were underwater.

Instantly resurfacing as the two of you gasped for air, completely soaked from head to toe as people from afar were laughing, your heart raced--you didn't know what was worse, the fact that you and your best friend were about to kiss or the fact that you were in rather deep water.

Feeling your panic growing worse as you tried keeping yourself afloat, looking down at the insanely dark water, you panted.

Pushing his now wet hair away from his face, Ben looked over at you, seeing your brows scrunch up as your chest rapidly heaved. "Y/n?" He narrowed his brows, only to realize you were having a panic attack. "H-hey, it's okay, nothing's going to happen we...we can-"

"Ben...this lake is easily fifty feet deep...I-" Pulling you to him as he held onto the the paddle boat, you instantly wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Shutting your eyes as you tried calming yourself down; Ben took in a deep breath.

"Let's get you back on it." He spoke as you opened your eyes.

"What if it flips over?" You nearly muttered.

"It won't, I'll help you on." Nodding your head as Ben moved you closer to the boat, you grabbed on. "Come on," Trying to hoist yourself up, Ben used his free hand to help you, shifting his arm around your waist only to move his hand.

Growing wide eyed as Ben had pushed you up, feeling his hand on your ass, you lightly shrieked. It was inaudible, at least to Ben. Had he been _that_ oblivious? Or was he too focused on getting you on while trying not to flip the boat?

Quickly crawling over to your spot as you began to shiver, Ben lifted himself over, climbing on and taking in a deep breath. "How are we going to explain this to Padmé?"

"Let's just hope she doesn't ask..."

. . .

"Oh, I am so sorry!" Padmé shrieked, bringing you a rather large jacket she had from the gift shop of her restaurant. "What happened?" Looking over to Ben as you sighed, Ben spoke up.

"I was being an idiot and messing with y/n, saying that the boats are trustworthy and won't flip but she kept saying they would and one thing lead to the next and the both of us fell out." Ben lied as you blinked.

"I tried catching him but I only fell with..." You added on, Ben looking over to you and lightly smiling.

"Well, it's clear that the boats don't flip and that you are, in fact, an idiot." Padmé shook her head as Ben's shoulders dropped.

"Thanks, nana..." He lowly spoke, clearly offended. The only person who could call him an idiot was himself...maybe you as well, but on some occasions.

"Why don't you two head out, I don't want you guys getting sick, alright?" Padmé spoke as the two of you nodded. "Get home safe." She kissed Bens cheek before giving you cheek to cheek.

"Will do." He nodded, the two of you walking on as you felt the slightest of better, now in the large jacket.

"Ugh, it's so cold..." You frowned. "Now that the weathers changing, D'Qar gets so chilly..." Rubbing your arms as the two of you made your way to Bens car, he opened the door for you as you then got in.

Opening his side and plopping onto the driver's seat, immediately turning on the car and trying to heat it up, you vibrated in your seat. "I'll get you home in no time."

"Oh, great, my parents are going to ask what happened..." You groaned.

"We just tell them what we told my grandmother, no big deal." Ben shrugged, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. "It was pretty believable."

Nodding in agreement, your teeth began to chatter as you were freezing. Looking over at your shaking frame, Ben bit back the urge of warming you up even though he was just as soaked. Shaking the thought away, you only looked over. "I just want to warm up, I'm so-" Seeing Ben reach out and run his thumbs under your eyes, your brows furrowed. "What are you-"

"Your makeup...it's running." Wiping it away, your heart skipped.

"Thank you..." You softly spoke, giving him a small smile as he simply nodded.

"That's better." Eyeing your face for a good few seconds, Ben took in a quiet, deep breath. Even with your makeup all ruined, you were still beautiful in his eyes--even if you could've sworn you looked like death.

Removing his hands and shifting himself in his seat, you gazed at him as he began to drive, you sighing and looking away. He was so attentive towards you that it made your skin crawl. You hated how much you've fallen for this boy.

Hearing the music from his cassette lowly play as you sat there, knees pulled in and looking out the window, you could slightly see Ben's reflection in it. You so desperately wanted to be with him even though he didn't feel the same. You couldn't stand the fact that he treated you in a way that you were his. You absolutely hated those awkward moments you two constantly had.

Yet, you loved them all.

For a person who claimed you weren't his type and that the feelings weren't mutual, he acted as if they were.

It was a shame that you were getting nowhere with your feelings even though he basically declined your liking for him. It hurt you but at the same time, you felt better, because you had no right liking another man when you were taken. Right? It wasn't like you'd cheat on Hux, you'd never go that low. But, still...Ben acted like a better boyfriend to you even though he wasn't, compared to Hux.

Letting out a small breath as the fog tinted up a small spot in the window, you used your finger to write against it as you thought to yourself, _Oh, Solo...why must my heart pick you?_

. . .

Seeing your house come into view, you sat up and instantly gasped, eyes wide as you leaned against the window. "They-they decorated?!" You nearly shouted as Ben smiled. "No way?! New decorations!" Freaking out like a little kid as Ben had parked, you instantly ran out of the car.

"Your parents did mention they wanted to do some shopping for Halloween decorations..." Ben spoke as he got out of the car, going for the back seat and grabbing the star pillow.

"This is amazing! I love it!" Seeing all the haunted house tape around along with webs, big spiders, a small graveyard and a whole set up by the entrance, you nearly squealed. "Oh, this is perfect..."

Rushing over to the front door as Ben followed you behind, you instantly opened it. "Oh, yeah, it's been great! Traveling around is always fun, now that I've seen Sweden I think I may go again." Hearing a rather familiar voice you hadn't heard in so long, you walked over to the kitchen. "Hopefully I can, although my business trips send me everywhere."

Removing the sweater as you walked on, Ben followed as he, too, recognized the voice. Coming to a stop as your eyes widened, your parents did a double take as they noticed your wet hair and attire. "Y/n?" Your mom spoke.

"Luke!" You exclaimed, the man turning his head and instantly smiling.

"Y/n! It's been so long! Why are you wet?" He asked as he stood up, you walking over and giving him a quick hug.

"It's a long story...but I'm so happy to see you!" You cheered as Luke laughed. "How are you?"

"I should be asking you that, you're graduating this year? I can only imagine how Rey and Ben are doing." Narrowing his brows as he stood there, Ben blinked. Had his uncle completely dismissed him? Or did he not recognize his nephew at all?

"Yes, I am! Hopefully one of the top in my class." You eagerly spoke.

"That's wonderful to hear, I can't wait to see Leia and the family when they get back. It's been years..." Luke sighed.

"Uh..." Ben cleared his throat, everyone's attention turning to him. "Hello?"

Raising a brow, Luke tilted his head the slightest. "Hi..."

"Seriously?" Ben's facial expression dropped. "Do you not recognize me?"

"Um...you're y/n's fathers brother!" Luke pointed as your father scoffed.

"He wishes." Narrowing his brows as Ben shot a look over at your father, he then turned his head to face Luke.

"Father's what? No!" Ben shook his head. "You have got to be kidding me, it's only been like four years!"

"Am I missing something?" Luke muttered to you.

"Luke...that's Ben." You chuckled, Luke looking at you confused, then over at Ben, then back at you. "Your _nephew_..."

"Ben? That's not Ben. That man is easily twenty seven...maybe thirty, my Ben is seventeen." Luke shook his head as Ben shifted his jaw in annoyance.

"I knew I wasn't the only one to think he looked like a complete pedo-"

" _Honey_..." Your mother warned as she pinched her husbands arm, Ben completely dismissing your fathers insult as he didn't want to deal with it.

"It's me...Ben." Ben spoke up.

Moving over to Ben and looking up at him, he eyed his face. "Ben?" Narrowing his eyes, he only gasped. "Of course! Those are your moles!"

"You only recognize me...for my moles?" Ben's shoulders dropped. "Unbelievable."

"To be fair, your moles are unique to you." You pointed out as Ben shot you a look. "Sorry..."

"Jeez, Ben...you've gotten so big! You're no longer so small, your arms are huge, _you_ are huge! And that height! I knew you'd get your fathers height." Luke grinned as he pointed a finger.

"I'm taller."

"Even better! Wow!" Nodding his head, Luke placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. "You've changed, Ben...a little bit too much, but you have.

"I get that a lot..." He spoke, looking over at you as you bit your lip.

"Hey, I think Ben and I should go shower since we're soaking." You spoke up as Luke turned around.

"Ben and I shower?!" Your father snapped. "Definitely not!"

"Dad, I meant at separate times!" Stomping your foot, your mother rolled her eyes as Luke held back a laugh. As tempting as showering with you sounded, Ben had his boundaries.

"Care to explain why you two are wet?" Your father asked, crossing his arms and raising a brow.

Going back to his seat as you practically switched places with Luke, you sighed. "You see, Ben here was trying to prove-" Completely blocking you out as you spoke, Ben's attention was caught by something else. It wasn't until then that he noticed your blouse was completely see through since it was wet, your bra--the one he had seen earlier--was apparent.

Practically staring at your chest as everyone's attention was on your mother as she had responded to you, your father was about to speak up, only for his attention to be caught by Ben. Seeing the young man basically stare at your chest with wide eyes, as if completely caught in a gaze, your father gasped. "You pervert!" He suddenly shouted as your brows narrowed while your mother nearly jumped. "How dare you look at my daughter the way you are! How dare you stare at her-"

Grabbing Ben, you pulled him away from the kitchen before anything could happen, practically darting up the stairs as your father kept shouting while your mother tried calming him, Luke only stifling a laugh. Your family was a complete mess.

"Ugh, I'm sorry about him..." You walked into you room, letting go of Ben's hand. "My father can be a bit-"

"Too much?" Ben chuckled as you nodded. Trying his best not to seem flustered or that he, in fact, had a hard on, he played it off, using the star pillow to cover himself. "It's alright...he's a dad...dads are odd."

Smiling, you shook your head. "Yeah, but your dad is cool. I like your dad." You grinned as Ben's face dropped. _Way to turn me off_. Why did you like his father so much? He was nothing but an 'old hag'! "Your dads actually-"

"Aren't you cold?" Ben asked as you nodded. "Why don't you shower and change so you can warm up." He smiled down at you.

"Yeah, good idea." Going to grab your pajamas, you tossed your purse onto your bed and locked yourself up in the bathroom. It was enough that he was turned on, he didn't need you cutting off the sensation while talking about his own father; when, in reality, he should've allowed you so he wasn't so stiff anymore. But he didn't mind it, at this point, he's was pretty used to being hard around you. _You're a fucking creep, you deserve getting attacked by her father!_

Sighing, Ben sat on the floor and tossed the star pillow onto the air mattress. There was no way he could relieve himself in your room, in a short span of time, when anyone--specially you--could walk in.

So he waited. At least the shower was more private.


	23. Body Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Body Heat by Selena Gomez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight nsfw......

It wasn't very much like Ben to be obscene around others, he was very to himself when it _came_ to himself. He was very careful of when he did such things, he knew he wouldn't take the confrontation or embarrassment well, but after the day he had--specially seeing your chest through your soaked blouse--he couldn't help be relieve himself in your shower.

Of course, he was well aware that you weren't so far away (seeing as your bathroom was _right_ there) which is why he tried his damnedest to stay quiet--or to at last keep the moaning to a minimum. Lucky for him, the shower was pretty loud and you were too busy watching TV to even notice his groans.

Pressing his hand against the wall as he threw his head back, Ben bit his bottom lip. He knew how wrong it was to be jacking off in your own shower, but, he wasn't about to have you see him have a hard on.

Letting out a moan in relief, Ben leaned his forehead against the shower wall as he lowered the temperature on the water. At least now he felt the _slightest_ of better.

Wondering what was taking so long for Ben to shower, you narrowed your brows, looking over at your bathroom door and sighing. Did he really need _that_ much time in the shower? Yeah, his hair was pretty remarkable, but it wasn't like it took him hours to wash it.

Turning your attention back to the television screen as Jupiter and Kylo decided to lie beside you, you heard the bathroom door open. "It's about time." You spoke, looking over at Ben in sweats and a v-neck. "And I thought _I_ was bad with my showers." Lightly scoffing as you looked away, Ben forced a grin.

"Yeah, well, lake water isn't all that lovely...specially when it's in the wrong places." Drying his hair with his towel, he walked over to your bed. "What are you watching? Is that Halloween?"

"Maybe..." You trailed, looking over at him. "Look, October is here and Halloween is soon...I should be getting in the mood!" You exclaimed.

"Right..." Ben raised a brow as you sighed. "I might as well watch with you seeing as I've got nothing better to do."

Moving over for him to sit beside you, Ben didn't even think twice of taking the spot, moving the towel over his shoulders as he sat next you. It almost felt like that time back when he had first ever gone to your house.

As the movie played and your sleepiness began to taunt you, you felt yourself coming in and out. Eyes falling heavy as the screen was slowly disappearing from your view, your head fell to a side as you knocked out.

Not realizing he was in the same predicament, Ben's head fell back against the headboard of your bed as you rested against his shoulder.

Lightly snoring as his body stayed sat up, yours began to slide down, your head now resting against his thigh as you curled up, being above the sheets and lightly trembling from the low temperature.

Being completely knocked out to the point the two of you must've been exhausted, you had stayed like that for a few hours until Ben had woken up from the feeling of his leg shaking.

Narrowing his brows as he then looked down, Ben's eyes widened the slightest. Since when had you fallen asleep on his thigh? And since when had his thigh become your pillow? Seeing your shivering frame, Ben rested a hand on your shoulder. As much as he hadn't wanted to wake you up, seeing as it was a lovely sight to have you lying on him, Ben sighed. "Y/n...hey...hey, wake up..."

Moaning the slightest as your eyebrows furrowed, pouting at the disturbance, Ben's heart fluttered. "Mmm..."

"Y/n, come on, you're freezing." He spoke as you groaned, eyes slowly falling open.

"What...?" You mumbled, half asleep and not realizing the position you were in.

"Come on, let's get you under the sheets." Ben spoke as you slowly sat up, rubbing your eyes. "We must've fallen asleep during the movie."

"Oh..." You nodded, getting on your knees as you haphazardly crawled under the sheets. "We must've been...so tired." You yawned as Ben nodded.

"Yeah." Turning off the TV as he lied the remote on your nightstand, he shifted over to the edge of your bed. "Goodnight, sleep well." He spoke over his shoulder.

"Mhm...thank-" Stopping yourself, you looked at him. "Wait..."

"What?" He looked over as you reached out a hand, waving it and gesturing for him to go back.

"Don't sleep down there, it's not worth the pain." You shook your head.

"Oh, its fine, I don't-"

"C'mon, you've allowed me to sleep in your bed, it's the least I could do for you. Stay, I've got a pretty big bed, I don't mind." You spoke, giving him a sleepy grin.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty big and unintentionally cuddle when I sleep." He admitted as you chuckled.

"I'm sure...I don't mind." Waving your hand again, Ben sighed.

"Alright." Moving under the sheets with you as he lied on his back, you then kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight." Moving back to your spot as you curled up, Ben blushed, glad the room was too dark for you to see.

Taking in a slow, deep breath, Ben smiled to himself. "Goodnight, y/n."

. . .

Burying yourself against Ben, arms pressed against his side as one of your legs had intertwined with his own, Ben's arm loosely draped over your shoulder as the two of lied there. Completely out of it as neither of you could possibly realize the position you two were in, you shifted the slightest.

Feeling so warm and comfortable in that particular position, you couldn't help but get a good nights rest--and same went for Ben. He hadn't had sleep this good in forever...in all honesty, not since the last time you shared his bed.

Nearly forgetting that you had school the very next day, thinking you were going to be able to sleep in, you only heard your alarm go off. Sighing and slowly opening your eyes, they instantly widened.

Trying to remove yourself from Ben, you were only stuck as you realized your leg was tangled up with his own as his arm was over you.

"Why me?" You sighed, hearing your alarm ringing.

Carefully untangling your leg from his own as you moved his arm away from you, you sat up, shut off your alarm and stood from your bed. Rubbing your face as you slid into your slippers, you looked over at Ben and frowned. Why did school have to ruin your nice sleep and why couldn't you be over the giant that claimed to be your best friend but not feel the same towards you?

Shaking your head, you made your way to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face.

Shifting in his spot, Bens arm reached out, only to feel nothing. Lightly frowning, he peeked an eye, only to see you were gone. Sitting up on his elbows, he saw the light coming from your bathroom as he let out a small breath.

Swinging his legs over the bed as he rubbed his face, looking at the time on his phone, he only groaned--even more missed calls and text messages from Lili. Flipping the phone over, he shook his head. "Not now..."

Walking out of you bathroom to set up your clothes, you smiled. "Morning, Ben."

Looking over as his heart skipped a beat at the sound of your voice, he smiled back. "Morning." His groggy voice spoke, you holding back a grin at the sound of it. "I don't know about you...but I hate early mornings."

"Likewise." You nodded, lying your school uniform on your bed as Ben watched you, only to stand up and aim for your door.

"I'll be back, I need to take Chewie out." He spoke as you nodded, nearly forgetting that you also had Chewie staying over besides Kylo.

"Okay." Seeing him walk out, you let out a deep breath. "That voice...I hate it." Shaking your head, you walked back into your bathroom to shower.

Walking down the stairs and over to the front door as Chewie had been waiting there, patiently, Ben clipped on the leash. "Come on, bud." Opening the door, he walked out after the dog.

Seeing as it was still quite dark out, now that it was early in the morning and the sun was soon to rise, Ben yawned. He had wished the day before had lasted much longer than it had, it was a good way to end the weekend after how shitty it started.

Walking Chewie along the sidewalk, not wanting to go too far out as he didn't really know your neighborhood all that well, he rubbed his hands. Now that fall had arrived and the temperature was dropping, he knew that the mornings were going to become colder and colder. Lucky for him, the cold didn't affect him as much as it had you. You, on the other hand, froze easily and you hated it.

Making his way back to your place, walking back in and removing the leash from Chewie, Ben was the slightest of surprised that he hadn't run into your parents yet.

Going back up the stairs as the house was awfully quite than he expected, he made his way back into your room and pulled out his school uniform. Eyeing it as he lied it out on the air mattress, he let out a heavy sigh. "Ugly." He simply spoke, looking at the outfit he had to constantly wear five days of  
the week.

Turning away and walking over to your bathroom, opening the door and completely forgetting (possibly because he was still half asleep) that you were in there even though the water was clearly running, Ben turned on the faucet to brush his teeth as you instantly yelped. "AHHH!" Jumping in his spot, his head snapped over to the shower curtain.

"Oh, shit..." Ben muttered as your heart raced, peeking your head out and seeing Ben holding his chest.

"Ben?! I'm clearly showering!" You shook your head only to hear your father call out.

"Y/n?!" Growing wide eyed, you gulped.

"He can't see you in here!" You loudly whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"My dad clearly isn't okay with you simply sleeping in my room so if he sees you in the bathroom as I'm showering, he'll flip!" Narrowing his brows as he couldn't quite comprehend it, you quickly grabbed his arm and tugged him into the shower with you, knowing you didn't have time to switch spots and wrap a towel around yourself--seeing as that was a bad idea itself if your father asked why the water was running.

Instantly being soaked by the shower water as you had covered Ben's mouth, grip still on his wrist, his eyes saw a glimpse of your bare chest, only to keep his focus towards the ceiling.

Feeling your heart race as you were, not only completely naked in front of Ben, but the fact that your father could've jumped to some sort of conclusion and yelled at Ben for something out of line. "Y/n?" Hearing your father knock on the slightly opened door, you swallowed.

"Yeah?" You responded, keeping your focus on Ben as his clothes were now drenched.

"Are you okay? I heard you yell..."

"I'm fine! I thought I saw a bug..." You lied, Ben's eyes trailing back down to you as he lifted a brow, you narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, honey..." Hearing him close the door, you let out a deep breath as Ben gently got a hold of your wrist and lowered your hand.

"I hope you know I am now soaking wet." He spoke, you looking up and sighing.

"Well, now you can go straight into showering." Feeling his eyes wanting to look down at your body, Ben took in a deep breath. As much as he fantasized about you and thought about obscene things including you when he touched himself, he knew his limits and what boundaries were--this being one of them.

"At least I'm fully awake now..." He spoke, eyes focused on the shower wall behind you rather than you, yourself.

Looking down at your bare frame, your head instantly snapped up. "We do not speak of this, okay?" Seeing him nod, you took in a breath. "You didn't see anything...right?" Seeing Ben shake his head, you felt relieved. "Okay, now get out."

"What?!" His eyes snapped down to you, nearly seeing your chest again and quickly looking up at the ceiling, you blushing the slightest. "I'm soaked, y/n!"

"And? I'm still not done showering and I'm starting to shiver. Mind you, I'm completely naked!" You fired back as Ben rolled his eyes.

"No one told you to pull me in here-"

"No one told you to turn on the cold water!" You lifted up a finger as Ben lifted up his arms.

"Fine, fine. But you owe me a new shirt and sweats." He pointed his finger at you.

"Ugh, we can wash and dry them." Rolling your eyes, you turned him around and forced him out, Ben instantly removing the shirt that now stuck to his chest along with the sweats that were attached to the skin of his legs, in nothing but his underwear.

Finishing up your shower as Ben had washed his face up--at least, somewhat seeing as he had basically soaked it in the shower--he sat on the toilet seat, waiting. Opening the curtain the slightest to grab your towel, Ben saw nothing but a portion of your bare back pop out, shoulder blade shifting as he scanned the exposed skin from the tips of your fingers over to the indent in your back.

Taking in a shaky breath, he blinked and looked away. Now specially wasn't the time to get hard when he was in nothing but his underwear.

Drying yourself up and wrapping the towel around you, you walked out, only to narrow your brows. "What are you doing?" You asked, eyeing Ben as he sat there, hunch in his back as his forearms lied on his knees.

"Clearly waiting. Jeez, you take forever." Standing up from his spot as your eyes trailed up, your breath got caught. You possibly would never get over his height...or the mere fact that his whole torso was exposed.

" _Wow_..." You muttered.

"Huh?" Ben looked at you, grabbing his towel and placing it on the toilet seat.

"I said how as in a how rude your comment was, as if it wasn't at all offensive." You lied as Ben raised a brow.

"Uh, okay, kid..." He snickered, grabbing onto the waist band of his underwear.

"What are you doing?!" You shrieked.

"Undressing?" He looked over at you as you lifted a hand up to block him from your view, your other holding the towel.

"Uh, no?! I'm right here!"

"And?" He shook his head. "You were just naked in front-"

"Ben!" You exclaimed as he sighed. "That does _not_ count."

"Alright, sheesh..." Swatting a hand, he moved the shower curtain so he could get in. "The worst you would see is my bare ass but personal boundaries, I get it." Closing the curtain behind him, you let out a heavy breath, just about to move away, only for Ben's underwear to land in front of you.

Rolling your eyes back, you gritted your teeth. "I am going to murder you, Solo."

. . .

"Whoa, wait a second...so you two are okay now?" Poe questioned as Ben nodded. "I will never understand your friendship..." He sighed. "But, dude!" Shoving Ben's arm, Ben narrowed his brows.

"What?! It isn't like I forced my way into the shower! She pulled me in!" He loudly whispered, the two sitting across from one another at the lunch table. "She was freaking out because her dad was coming and she didn't want him to see me."

"Well, it makes sense! Why would you go into the bathroom when she's clearly showering?" Poe shook his head as Ben sighed.

"Give me a break, I was half asleep, okay? It didn't process until I had actual water soaking me." He rubbed his face. "Actually, it didn't hit me until she yelled, but that all happened within seconds."

"Unbelievable, Solo...only you would get yourself into these kind of-"

"Ben!" Being cut off by the sound of a squeal, Poe narrowed his eyes as Ben sighed. "Finally! I barely saw you all day!" Taking a seat besides Ben, Lili beamed, grabbing onto his chin and turning his head so she could kiss him.

Watching the girl kiss his best friend, Poe rolled his eyes. This was far worse than seeing you kiss Hux. "Lili..." Ben spoke, breaking away from the kiss. "What...what are you doing?"

"What am I doing? I'm your girlfriend." She raised a brow.

From afar, you had seen this going down the second you walked into the lunch room, gulping as you then felt disappointment hit you. You nearly forgotten he was taken.

Pushing some hair behind your ear, you felt a hand on your waist, you looking up and seeing Hux. "Hello, doll." He smiled, kissing your cheek as you lightly smiled. "I've decided to sit with you today as I don't have a debate to practice for. I needed a small break, thought I'd spend it with you."

"Oh, that's great!" You nodded, the two of you getting in line to get food. "We can sit outside if you want?" Not wanting to be anywhere near Ben when Lili was around--although you felt bad for Poe--Hux nodded. Finn and Rey were in the band room, so it didn't leave you much options. Although you did see the twins sitting near the doors...but you knew Hux wouldn't want to sit next to classmates not in the same grade level.

Peppering his face with kisses as Ben sat there, Poe feeling out of place and rather annoyed as he ate, Lili didn't seem to care about PDA. Meanwhile, Ben had his eyes on you. The way Hux was so close, his hand on your hip, you smiling and the two of you talking--he wanted to vomit. He still hated the reality of you being with Hux, even if Ben had a girlfriend.

Grabbing onto your trays as the two of you aimed for the backdoors, you passed the table Ben had been sitting at, not paying it any mind. Watching you go as Lili was kissing his neck, Ben tightened his jaw. He wasn't about to have trouble with you yet again--and Poe noticed the lack of attention coming from your end.

"I don't want to sound rude, but I was planning on leaving lunch early to do some rehearsing." You spoke to Hux as the two of you sat down on a picnic bench. "The play is in two days and I really need to make sure I've got everything right."

"Two days?" Hux raised a brow. "I will definitely go to your opening night."

"Really?!" You shrieked, amazed at the commitment.

"Of course, I want to see how well this will be put on. Most plays I have seen have...let's just say, lacked." Feeling your smile drop, you only sighed. "I don't understand why people are more interested in that than a debate." He continued as you fought the urge to roll your eyes. "But I'd love to watch you perform."

"Thanks..." You nearly muttered. So much for a supportive boyfriend.

. . .

After rather quickly devouring your lunch in a matter of minutes, you told Hux you had to leave to have enough time before the next class had started (although it was theater, he didn't seem to remember). Giving him a quick goodbye as you kissed his cheek, tossing the trash on your tray before placing it on top, you rushed back inside and made your way to the theater.

No one was ever in the actual auditorium during lunch time, usually in the class room. Although you didn't get much time to rehearse, you also took it upon yourself to rehearse during study hall. You knew this was your chance to practice from the lack of practicing you got during the weekend.

Informing Rey you wouldn't go to the library with her for study hall, you made your way back over to the auditorium. Of course, when you had told her in gym you made sure no one else knew.

Pushing past the doors and letting out a sigh in relief, you made your way down the walkway and placed your bag down on one of the seats. Making your way up the steps and on the stage, you looked at the vast emptiness--in a few days it'd be filled with people watching you and the others perform.

Taking in deep breaths, you pulled out your phone and held onto the small speakers to play the song, making sure you didn't get anything wrong or any notes off key. Hearing the song began, you let out a small breath before singing.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the diner after school today? I know you're not working and it's probably annoying but you haven't taken me." Lili frowned as she walked alongside Ben, his hands deep in the pockets of his pants.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." He nodded. "After rehearsals, we can meet up there." Keeping his focus ahead, Lili lightly rolled her eyes. She wanted him to drive her there...even if she had a car.

"Kay, just let me know when you're out." She dryly spoke, Ben dismissing it as his brows suddenly narrowed, hearing music coming from the auditorium as they were walking by.

"Yeah..." He trailed. "I'll see you later." Giving her a quick kiss on the side of her head, Lili pouted the slightest before he rushed off.

Carefully pushing past the doors as he peeked around the corner at the sound of a rather familiar voice, Ben's heart suddenly fluttered in his chest at the sight of you, singing your heart out.

"You know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you. But, baby, can't you see, there's nothing else for me to do? I'm hopelessly devoted to you."

Blinking as he watched in awe, Ben quietly made his way around and sat in the very far back, in hopes you wouldn't see him--although he doubted you would, you were so passionate about what you were doing, it was like you put your whole soul into it.

The way you moved around the stage, hands moving, eyes shutting every once in a while; Ben only imagined how it'd be when it was showtime.

Sure, he had heard you sing before during rehearsals, but seeing you like this when no one was around and you giving it your all as if you were truly feeling the lyrics--which you clearly were--made his bones chill. The skin on his body growing goosebumps as he shivered, your voice was quite beautiful and he couldn't seem to get enough of it. In all honesty, he wished you were in his band as the lead singer instead of himself.

"But now there's nowhere to hide since you pushed my love aside, I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you..."

Watching you sing on, Ben slowly sunk in his seat. At this point, you were tearing up. You couldn't do it. You couldn't possibly do a play like Grease when you and Ben played characters much like yourself.

How were you supposed to sing in front of a crowd without crying? How were you supposed to share moments and sing duets with him without the urge to run away? You knew you two were slightly getting better, but (for you), it felt like it was only getting worse.

Hitting the last note as you felt a few tears slip, your eyes suddenly landed on someone in the far back, instantly recognizing who they were as the two of you made eye contact. Gulping, you swiftly looked away and brushed your tears away.

Standing up from his spot, as if to approach you, you gathered your things and rushed out towards the back.

Trying to reach up to you, Ben only stopped. He knew he couldn't comfort you, after all, you liked him--something he very much wanted--yet, you were taken and now so was he.

Rubbing his face in frustration, he threw his head back and groaned. Things were only going to down from here, even if he swore they were getting better. He just wondered how long would it last before things _truly_ ended for good between the two of you.

. . .

"Wonderful rehearsals, everyone! Tomorrow's practice will be our last as it is a dress rehearsal and I want you all at your best! Wednesday is opening night, so, please rehearse at home!" The theater teacher spoke, everyone scattered about as you stood on the far back, this time in the seats rather than stage. You wanted to be the first to go so you could get to cheerleading and so Ben wouldn't speak to you.

Throughout rehearsal, when it came to your duets, you held back so much, imagining he was someone else rather than the boy you adored. It was hard to serenade him or for him to do it to you when it made your heart ache and eyes wanting to water--you just hoped Ben didn't notice your slight discomfort.

"Everyone is dismissed!" At that, you were off. You didn't even bother looking at Ben, although you wanted to, you just rushed out and over to the football field. Although you usually walked with Natasha, this time, you decided she could meet you there.

Clenching his teeth as his jaw tightened, Ben watched you rush off the second the teacher had finished speaking. He very well noticed the change in mood and the fact that--once again--you've ignored him all day. He hated that the two of you were back to square one even when in the morning you were fine.

Balling his fists as he took in deep breaths, eyes narrowed as he glared, he only grabbed his bag and stormed out. If you wanted to be distant, so be it, it wasn't like he could blame you; but, still, it pissed him off to no end and somehow got on every single one of his nerves.

Pulling out his phone and instantly calling his so-called girlfriend, Ben didn't even bother starting off with a hello. "I can't make it to Maz, I realized I have to take Kylo to the vet." He lied through his teeth as Lili groaned.

" _Fine, but tomorrow we're going_."

"Fair enough." He spoke. "See you tomorrow." At that, he hung up. It was so distasteful, but, most of their conversations were like that. So straight to the point and rather short. Although Lili tried to liven them up, Ben never seemed interested.

And she didn't seem to care. As long as she was dating the now hot boy who she had been crushing on since she first found out he was in a band, she couldn't careless if he was dry. At least she had him.

Making his way to his car and back to your place, he grabbed the spare key from where it was hidden and walked in. "Mrs. Kenobi." He greeted before walking up the stairs, your mother nearly being startled before realizing who it was.

"Oh, hello, Ben." She responded as he was already off, dropping his things in your room before walking back down.

"Do you have any sort of exercising equipment around?" He curiously asked as he was back on the first floor, still heated as ever, although containing it around your mother so she wouldn't worry.

"Actually, we do. The twins set up this mini gym in the garage if you'd like to use it." Walking over to a small hallway as she guided Ben, she unlocked the door and presented it. "It takes up half of the garage and is currently collecting dust since no one uses it. By all means, please, have at it." She instead as Ben eyed it, nodding his head.

"This'll do just fine."


	24. Grins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Grins by Charli XCX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit NSFW

The sound of music loudly echoing throughout the garage walls sounded from outside. After practice, you decided to ask your cousin to drop you off as her own mother hadn't seen yours in awhile (seeing as they were related). In all honesty, you weren't in the mood for the bus, you just wanted to get home quick to shower and do your homework in time before bed. Of course, squeezing dinner in the mix.

Opening your front door as you narrowed your brows to the music blasting, you allowed your cousin in as you called out to your mom. "Mom, Natasha and aunt Laurel are here!" You spoke, leading them to the kitchen as your mother gasped, greeting them.

Furrowing your brows as you dropped your bags near the staircase, you made your way over to the garage. It had been so long since anyone was in there unless for tools or the storage, so who would be in there? By the sound of it, it was like someone was using the gym set and you were positive your brothers weren't home.

Grabbing onto the knob and opening the door, your heart lodged up your throat, eyes widening as your insides felt like they were tingling. You never knew something like seeing Ben sweating in nothing but gym shorts would top him being wet from the pool or shower--even if they were quite the same.

Unable to look away as you stared, watching him lift weights as his back muscles shifted, low grunts leaving his mouth as his back was trickling with sweat--you'd be lying if you said you hadn't wet yourself at the sight.

You felt so hot, a part of you wanted to lock yourself up in your room at the sight of him while another part of you just wanted to jump his bones. The sight of him working out made your legs press together even more as you were taking in deep breaths. How come you never noticed how fit Ben was before? Was it because he was working out that you noticed it more?

Subconsciously walking closer as the door shut behind you, you nearly not noticing as you drooled over the sight, Ben instantly looked over his shoulder at the sound of it. Placing the weights down and drying his face with a small towel as he pushed his hair back with his free hand; he turned around, presenting his now sweat-covered torso.

Watching the beads trickle down his chest and onto his abs, you gulped. Looking at his exposed v-line and happy trail, your breath hitched. Why was it that you were now turned on and having fantasies at the wrong moment? You so badly wanted to moan.

It didn't seem fair. You wanted to touch him and you wanted him to touch you in ways Hux never had. He looked so breathtaking, you almost felt dizzy from staring for too long. How did he have this kind of affect on you? Not even Hux made you want to touch yourself.

Not noticing that Ben was staring directly at you as your eyes were set on his torso, your throat locked as you realized he was slowly inching closer. "S...sorry." Your breath hitched you just about to turn around, only for Ben to grab your wrist.

This was hurting him as much as it was hurting you. Aside from the fact that he released all his anger in the exercise, the sight of you in really tight, exercising shorts and a tank top that exposed a little too much of your chest made his body ache. The fact that your hair was pulled back in a ponytail made things worse because you exposed all of your weak spots that Ben could easily kiss and bite.

Looking up at him as your chest heaved, Ben's eyes trailed down from your own, over to your breasts, looking at your exposed cleavage and the way your chest shifted rapidly. He so badly wanted to just pin you, to let out his anger on you in a very sexual manner. He wanted to touch your body, every inch of it, to kiss your soft skin and to claim it as his own with marks.

But, he knew he couldn't, he knew he couldn't have you in any way he wanted because you weren't his and never would be. And the one he was with now could never make up for you.

Shifting his eyes back up to you as you kept yours on his face, blinking as you were afraid you were going to explode from the heat pooling up in between your thighs, you simply swallowed. "I should go shower..." You muttered, voice giving out as your wrist slid from Ben's grip.

"Are you sure?" He spoke up, voice coming out much more deeper and stronger. Unable to speak as you felt your heart lodged up in your throat, Ben slowly grew closer to you. Stalking towards you ever so slowly with a hungry look in his eyes.

You felt so weak, your knees were shaking and you couldn't contain the feeling. All you wanted was a very cold shower and new underwear to be in--let alone, _body_. It felt so hot, your body temperature was rising and you couldn't take it. You wanted to go, to leave before you made an impulsive move.

If you could, you'd run up to him and give up your body to him. But you couldn't. You had a boyfriend and you were better than this (even if you would gladly give up your 'innocence' to Ben).

Slowly backing up as you couldn't possibly succumb to your urges, your back collided with the wall, you being cornered as Ben was inches away from you. Pressing his hand on the wall beside your head, he leaned down the slightest, lips hovering against your own as yours parted. Shutting your eyes tightly as you couldn't even look at him, Ben's lips moved over to your ear as he whispered, "You sing beautifully." Slowly opening your eyes, he continued, "It drives me insane."

Shivering in your spot, Ben looked at you, thumb brushing against your bottom lip as a gasp got caught in your throat. "I can't wait to hear more tomorrow." At that, he turned around, leaving you there gulping.

Fluttering your eyes as you watched him go, you instantly rushed out of the garage and up the stairs to your room. What was up with him? Was he really being flirty with you? You hated the mixed signals, but you also hated the fact that it made you so weak.

Barging into your bathroom and locking your door, you peeled of your clothing and looked at your underwear, pouting. It was one of your favorites and now you were going to toss it because you weren't going to be reminded of what kind of control Ben had over you.

Entering the shower and putting the water rather cold, you let out a shaky breath. Your skin was still hot and your body still tingled. Throwing your head back in annoyance as you let out a groan, you knew the sensation in between your thighs wasn't going to leave anytime soon unless you relieved it.

At least you had your hand for back up when you couldn't have Ben, himself.

. . .

Nothing was worse then the constant fear of Ben walking into your room as you were touching yourself in the shower. Although the water was pretty loud, your moans were much more. You craved something to satisfy your needs, you wanted him and you wanted him so badly. He was the one you dreamt about, the one you daydreamed over and the one you truly desired.

Hux was _nothing_ compared to him.

But, Hux was there since Ben was gone and Hux was the original one you liked. Sadly enough, he wasn't the one who got you such way. Never had you had to touch yourself because of Hux, he never gave you a reason to. Your relationship was more on the surface than anything. The most you did was kiss. He barely laid a hand on you unless to hold your hand or chin to kiss you. He never said anything to you that would turn you on nor did he _do_ anything.

Hux was always too caught up in school and his debate team to make you feel good. And you hated it.

You were with him for almost four years, and this was what you were left to? Touching yourself because of another guy? It was unbelievable and very much unlike you.

At least Ben had done the same for you--hell, he was in the exact same spot as you were in the shower, last night.

Both of you were suffering, and both of you had it bad. It was a shame neither of you did anything about it.

After what felt like hours in the shower, you had gotten out and changed, did your hair and made your way downstairs for dinner. Although on your way down you had ran into Ben, you made sure to not make eye contact. It was enough that you felt the slightest of ashamed in yourself for what you had done and what you were feeling...you just couldn't help it.

"We'll start dinner when Ben's done showering and comes down." Your mother spoke, fixing up the table as she had made a small feast.

Deciding to focus on the three pets in the house, mainly on Chewie as you hadn't seen much of him, you sat on the couch as you messed with his ears, petting him and giving him a kiss on his head. As much as you loved Jupiter, you wish you had a dog as well.

"Sorry to make you all wait." Ben spoke, causing your heart to skip a beat.

"It's fine, honey, the food was too hot anyways." Your mother spoke, waving a hand. "Let's all sit down."

"Should I get dad?" You spoke up as you stood from your spot, Ben looking at you as you sensed it, only to gulp.

"It's okay! I'm coming!" He called out as you then let out a small breath, walking over to the dining table, past Ben as you still couldn't look at him.

"I know I made a lot, but Ben eats for three people so I thought it was only fair." Your mother spoke as you sat down, your mother sitting across as Ben sat beside you.

Hearing him chuckle, you bit your inner lip as you kept your focus on the food. "That is very true."

"Alright, I'm here, we can eat." Your father spoke, you looking over and seeing him hold something behind his back.

"Honey, where were you? You came home later than usual..." Your mother asked as you began to serve yourself, you and Ben going for the same thing, only for you to go for something else instead.

"Oh, I had to make a small stop, I thought I'd get Ben a little going away gift before he leaves tomorrow night." He grinned, you looking at your dad and raising a brow. You knew this wasn't going to end well.

"A gift?" Ben asked, looking over.

"Yes. I feel as if it best represents you, I'm sure you'll like it." Reaching out his arm as a box was in his hand, Ben let go of the tongs as he went for it.

"Uh, thanks..." He narrowed his brows, you watching him open up the box and  
and unfolding the tissue.

What could your father have possibly gotten him? "Oh, what is it?" Your mother asked as Ben picked the shirt out, lifting it up and seeing it unfold.

Seeing the white font on the all black sleeveless tee, Ben sighed. " _Pervert_..." Ben muttered, you gasping at the sight of the shirt.

"Dad?!" You exclaimed. "Why would you buy him such a thing?!"

"Honey?!" Your mother shouted.

"What?! He's always checking our daughter out and I thought it would be best people know what he really is!" Your father defended as your cheeks burned with the blood rushing to them, you looking at your dad in disbelief as Ben's shoulders dropped.

There was no lie, Ben very much checked you out every chance he got...he just never thought anyone was noticing--let alone, _your dad_. "Uh...thank you, sir."

"See, he likes it because he knows it's true." Your father nodded, serving himself food.

"I'm sorry, Ben." Your mother spoke as Ben simply lowered the shirt on his lap.

"It's fine...black is my color, I don't mind." He waved a hand as you rolled your eyes, shaking your head. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back." Standing up and leaving the table, you didn't bother watching him go, focusing on your food as you ate.

Going into the bathroom and removing the band tee he was in, he pulled on the tank top and shrugged. "At least my arms look good..." Walking out of the restroom and back to the dining table, your father clapped.

"I knew he'd like it!" Looking up and over at Ben, your mouth fell open.

"Why-why would you wear that?" You asked, looking at him.

"It's a nice fit, plus, it's a gift." He simply spoke, giving you a grin before turning back to his food, you sitting there with your mouth slightly ajar. You couldn't believe he _actually_ liked it.

. . .

"I'm really sorry about that..." You spoke over to Ben as the two of you sat on your family room couch, watching some Netflix. "I didn't think my dad would do such thing."

"It's no big deal." Ben shrugged, keeping his focus on the television screen as you looked over at him, then down at his exposed arms and taking in a shaky breath. Instantly averting your eyes as you thought about what had happened earlier, you gulped. His arms were so muscular, you wanted to feel them so badly. "Plus, if it'll make your dad like me a little bit more, then, we're good."

Lightly smiling as Ben looked at you for a moment, you let out a breath. "Sometimes I feel like my dad is Mr. Wheeler." You spoke, looking at the screen as Ben turned his attention back.

"Mr. Wheeler? As in Mike's dad?" He asked as you nodded.

"Yeah, he's so oblivious all the time. Makes me wonder if he's actually him." Letting out a small chuckle, Ben smiled at the sound. "Although I'd say I'm quite like Nancy and my mom is like Karen."

"And Hux is Steve." Ben muttered as you looked at him.

"Huh?"

"I said and you're also Eleven." He lied, you narrowing your brows.

"How?" You smiled as Ben awkwardly rubbed his neck.

"Uh, well, you're cool? And...uh...have a lot of close friends? Rey could be Will-"

"Hold on, Rey would murder you if you said she's Will." You lifted up a hand. "Rey wouldn't want to be the person who disappears. That could be you." You pointed out and nodded as Ben shook his head.

"No way, I'm Mike. I'm definitely Mike, I have the hair! I have the hair and, and he kind of looks like me now that I think of it...except his jaw." Ben tilted his head as he looked back at the TV.

"Of course..." You sighed, shaking your head. "I'm just glad we don't have a Demogorgon."

"Actually, I'd like to think that principal Snoke is the Demogorgon." He nodded. "He's creepy and I really don't like being around him."

"That's true." You nodded in agreement. Continuously going on comparing your lives to Stranger Things, it almost felt like you two didn't just have problems earlier or that you were trying to avoid him _yet again_.

It felt nice, being able to be so civil and laugh, talk about pointless things even if they made you happy. It had gotten to the point the two of you gravitated closer without even noticing it, you sitting on your legs nearly pressed up against Ben as you shared a blanket. Although it was a Monday night, you didn't seem to care, as long as the moment lasted.

Feeling your eyes flutter close as your sleepiness caught up to you, your head fell onto Ben's shoulder, the boy looking over and smiling. "I guess that's it for the evening..." Grabbing the remote as it had sat on your legs, he shut off the TV, gently removing you from him as he stood up, picking you up in his arms and taking you up to your room.

You were sound asleep until you felt the shifting, but you didn't want to open your eyes, because when you were about to, you only felt Ben grabbing onto you. Hearing his heart beat as your ear pressed up against his chest, Ben shoved the door of your room open with his foot and kicked it shut. Lying you on (what he claimed) your side of the bed, he placed you under the covers before kissing your forehead.

Realizing what he did, he blinked with furrowed brows, simply walking around the bed and taking his side,  
lying with his back facing you. Feeling your cheeks flourish with heat, you peeked an eye and saw his back. Letting out the faintest of sighs, you scooted closer to him, pressing your now folded arms against his back to get extra warmth, making it seem like you were moving in your sleep.

Raising his brows as he felt the pressure on his back, Ben slowly turned around and saw you lying there, peacefully. Realizing you must've been cold, being the reason you clearly moved, Ben pulled you closer, using his arm to hold you as the other folded under his head. The least he could do was provide you with his warmth since he took up most of your bed.

Trying so hard not to make it obvious that you were pretty much awake, you fought a smile. Why was sleeping with Ben so comfortable? You weren't fond of sharing your bed with anyone, but with him you were a-okay with it.

Maybe it was the raging fact that you were crushing on him and that the lack of intimacy in between you and Hux was catching up.

Whatever it may be, your body wanted to melt into Ben's and attach yourself to him like a leech. He was so warm and so comfortable, you could lay there forever.

Feeling yourself fall back asleep as the warmth got to you, you were swept into your dream world.

"Ben, why am I here?" You spoke, standing there in a sports bra and leggings, sneakers on and your hair pulled back in a pony tail. "My exercising is done during cheer practice, not in weight training." Shaking your head, Ben rolled your eyes.

"Just spot me." He spoke, tossing a towel over his shoulder as he walked up to a bench, your eyes landing on his bare back that was drizzled in sweat, only wearing gym shorts and sneakers.

"Spot you?" You raised a brow. "Does it look like I'm capable of doing so?" Looking at the weights, your eyes widened. "Ben, this ways almost as much as me!"

"Look, just spot me, I promise you I won't drop it. If I do, then I'll go down with it." He spoke, lying down as you rolled your eyes.

"That doesn't make sense, but okay." Standing behind his head as you stuck your hands out, Ben began his workout. The entire time you stood there, you watched his muscles shift, eyes moving from his arms, to his torso as it glistened with his sweat. It felt like you were looking at a lollipop you wanted to lick.

Biting your bottom lip at the sight of him, your eyes trailed down more and over to his shorts, widening the slightest at the small bulge. Did something happen that you missed? Or was he just that big?

Hearing his panting and light grunts, the sound of metal clanking snapped you out of it as your eyes moved back to his face. "That it?"

"That's one set." He spoke, wiping himself with his towel. "You seriously need to stop checking me out when I'm lifting, it distracts me."

"W-what?" You stuttered.

"Don't act like it's not obvious." Turning around in his spot to look at you, you blinked. "You look at me like food you want to eat, you're just missing the drool."

"I-I do not." Shaking your head, Ben stood up and moved over to you, you slowly backing up as you could see the hunger in his eyes as if _he_ was going to eat _you_. Something you didn't mind but not in this way where he looked pretty ravenous.

"Oh, but you do." Grabbing a hold of your wrist, Ben lowered your hand to his groin, pressing it against the bulge as you gasped. "Feel that? You do this to me, y/n. All the _fucking_ time." Rubbing your hand, your breathing quickened as Ben bit his lip.

"B-Ben..." You breathed, nearly jumping as your back collided with the wall.

"You want it, I know you do." Moving his hips against your hand, you shut your eyes for a moment, Ben leaning in to whisper in your ear. "You can have it, _all_ of it." Moving your hand away, he now held both of your wrists over your head in one of his hands, his other pressed against your lower back as he pressed himself against you. "Say the words and I'm yours."

Feeling your breath hitch as your eyes sealed shut, your chest heaved as Ben began to grind himself against you, you wanting to moan but nothing coming out. Putting such force into the movement of his hips, Ben spread your legs further apart with his foot so you could feel him better, you just about to cry out only to force your eyes open.

Taking in deep breaths as the first thing in your line of vision was a sleeping Ben, you sighed in relief. Were you really about to have a sex dream? With Ben? Just as you thought things couldn't get any worse, they were.

Especially when you realized your hand was no longer pressed against his chest but somewhere it _shouldn't_ be.

Quickly removing your hand from practically being latched onto his member, amazed that that hadn't woken him up, you let out a small breath. If you were going to have dreams like this, it wasn't safe sleeping facing him.

Turning around as his arm was still around you, your eyes widened at the feeling of something pressing up against your lower back.

Gulping, you shut your eyes. Why was this happening to you?

. . .

"Remind me to never share my bathroom with you ever again." Trying to do your hair as you blow dried it, in nothing but a robe, Ben was showering. "I can barely see crap with the fogged glass!"

"Not my fault the only bathrooms with a shower are all in rooms." Ben pointed out. "I would've showered in your brothers a long time ago."

Rolling your eyes as you brushed the tangles from your hair, nearly finishing up, you heard the water shut. "If I could, I would've kicked you out and forced you to use there's a long time ago."

"How sweet." Hearing a more audible response as Ben pulled the curtain, he lifted a hand, "Don't turn around."

"Wasn't thinking of it." You partially lied. It wasn't like Ben didn't truly mean what he said, of course he'd want you to and of course you'd want to look, but the two of you were taken and had to constantly remind yourselves that.

Drying himself and his hair with the towel, he then wrapped it around his waist as he walked past you. "You're not gonna dry it?" You asked, looking over and seeing his bareback, being reminded of your near wet dream.

"No? I air dry it." Gasping, Ben turned around. "What?"

"Air dry?!" Unplugging your blow dryer as you had turned it off, you stomped over to him. "Your hair naturally dries pretty?!"

"Uh, yeah? I guess?" He shrugged, looking down at you as your mouth fell open.

"Unbelievable! My hair takes me forever just to do this!" Pointing at your now dried hair, Ben only smiled.

Brushing his fingers through your hair, he grinned. "At least it's silky smooth." Taking in a small breath as Ben played with your hair, you swatted his hand away.

"Yeah yeah, I work for this, unlike you."   Pointing a finger, Ben touched your hair once again as he smirked.

Wanting to swat his hand again, he only bent forward and twirled a group of your hair around his finger before letting it unwrap itself. "I'm sure you do." With a wink as his voice had lowered, Ben stood up straight, grabbed his clothes and made his way back into your bathroom as you stood still.

Simple things like him winking at you and whispering made you shiver. You very much hated Ben Solo.

. . .

 _"He's what?!"_ Rey shouted, on her end on the phone _. "He has a girlfriend?!"_ She exclaimed, as Poe winced, sneaking out of his practice to speak to her for a moment.

"He's dating Lili, they keep making out in front of me in lunch and I'm left alone because y/n is usually with Hux or Natasha and you're off with Finn in bad practicing! Well, your vacation now." He nearly shouted.

 _"Making out?"_ Rey scrunched her nose from her end of the line _. "That little ho-"_

"She's always insinuating it and Ben always ends it, it doesn't last long but she's very touchy feely. Ben just kind of sits there, it's miserable." He shook his head, knowing very well his best friend had zero feelings for the girl.

_"How long have they been dating? I know he's been friends with her for a few years because of his past school...but to date now right when she transferred? Ugh."_

"A week-"

 _"A week?!"_ Rey shouted _. "What the hell? He didn't think of telling his family? Let alone, his sister?"_ She narrowed her brows.

"I'll have you know I found out through y/n." He accidentally slipped, not noticing.

 _"Y/n? How did y/n know before me?"_ Rey raised a brow as both of his own lifted.

"Uh...well, she's close with Ben so he must've told her first." Poe lied, knowing very well that wasn't it.

 _"No way...he hasn't even told me yet! Has he even told anyone beside y/n? He didn't even tell you. I bet you Finn has no clue."_ She shook her head.

"Honestly, everyone's just as surprised as you are. It happened out of the blue." Poe sighed. "It's unbelievable."

_"I mean, if he's happy then good for him. I just, it isn't like Ben to just date someone so suddenly when he's still settling. I mean, isn't she like his second girlfriend?"_

"Yeah, but Lili's been a friend of his and his band for a while so she's got a chance of lasting longer than his last." Poe shrugged. "My cousin, Sam, I spoke to him about this and he told me that Lili is always at their rehearsals...at least when she can. She's kind of their number one supporter."

 _"You mean, she beats y/n?"_ Rey scoffed.

"Well, she does go to their rehearsals..."

 _"I can't believe this...my brother has a girlfriend. A damn significant other and didn't bother to tell me."_ Shaking her head and biting her nail, she sat in the airport with her parents out and about walking, waiting to board the plane.

"In his defense, the communication between the two of you is quite terrible so..."

_"Shut up, I didn't ask."_

"Ouch. Well, I have to go, coach is probably wondering where I am. Enjoy your flight and see you tomorrow."

" _Yeah, thanks_." Hearing Poe hang up, Rey looked at her phone with knitted brows. Was she really that distant with her own brother? Did they really not communicate that well? It was rather upsetting.


	25. Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Sex by The 1975

In a little over twenty-four hours, you'd be in the same outfit you were in at the moment. Seeing as it was dress rehearsals, you stood in front of the mirror and looked at yourself: blonde wig, leather jacket, and skin tight outfit. You weren't going to lie, you looked good, but the one thing concerning you was how Ben would look. Having to change into the multiple outfits, Ben's was practically the same through out and he looked absolutely breath taking--the only thing was he didn't do his hair. Still, the sight of him in those tight black pants, white shirt and leather jacket made your heart want to explode.

You just hoped you wouldn't freeze up when it was time to put on the show.

Luckily for you, you were doing fine during rehearsals. Although you found yourself constantly gawking, you forced yourself to think about Hux and only Hux (well, aside from the lines and lyrics), you didn't need yourself in this sort of situation; after all, Ben didn't like you the same, so why should you suffer? Even if he gave off mixed signals...

Making your way on stage as it was the second to last song, you took in a deep breath. The second you had walked on was the second Ben had done a double take. He had never seen you in all black, you wore almost every color that wasn't black--even avoiding it with your school uniform. The darkest you wore was dark blue, and even then it was still pretty light.

Tuning out everything as his eyes were focused on you, he hadn't realized the music started singing until Ti--the drama teacher--had cleared her throat rather loudly. It was almost like the tables were turned--you were more relaxed than he was. After all, Ben always wore black so it wasn't much of a surprise to see him in black.

Noticing how uneasy Ben was throughout the performance, you tried helping him out a little when it came to the dance movements, even mouthing the lyrics for him. He didn't expect something like this to make him act the way he had.

"Alright! That was fantastic! Ben, please rehearse when you get home, I don't need you failing on me now, you've been doing so well." Ti looked at Ben as he nodded, the two of you standing beside each other as everyone else gathered around. "I suggest you all do the same. Tomorrow is _the_ big day and I only want the best!" Clapping her hands, she then waved them. "You can all leave now."

Seeing everyone make their way to the back to change, you turned to Ben. "You did great!" You smiled with a nod. "Don't worry, if you freeze up tomorrow and Thursday, I'll help again."

Looking down at you, Ben gulped as he then gave you a single nod. "Thanks."

"I'll see you later, I've gotta head to cheer practice." You pointed with your thumb, about to walk off, only for Ben to quickly grab onto your upper arm, causing you to turn around as your brows were lifted.

"Do you think I could watch? I haven't been to one of your practices in a while...thought I'd show some support..." He asked as your heart skipped a beat. _No, he's doing this to make up for the shitty friend he was being. He doesn't like you. He's just being nice._

"Oh, I would've thought you'd be too busy with Lili to watch?" You chuckled, your tone being the slightest of aggressive.

Feeling his mood drop, he realized he did have plans with her after canceling the day before. "Actually, I don't." He lied as you raised an eyebrow. "She's busy and since we're going to the same place afterwards, I don't mind staying to take you home."

Swallowing, you gave him a small smile. "Okay, I'll see you out there." At that, your arm slid from his grip as you walked off, cheeks burning as you mentally cursed yourself. _For once, I actually want him with Lili_. Making your way to the dressing room, you changed back into your uniform, saying goodbye to the small group before aiming for the girls locker room.

Quickly changing back into his school uniform, not bothering to button up the shirt all the way or to even put the tie on as there was no point, Ben rushed out of the theater and pulled out his phone. Calling Lili, the phone gave a single ring before she answered. " _Babe, I was about to call you_."

"Uh, yeah, I have to cancel one more time-"

" _What?! Seriously?_ " She groaned on her end of the line.

"Yeah, I got caught up, I almost forgot my family comes back today." He spoke, not lying as it was true...although they weren't arriving till later, or, at least not going to your house.

" _Ugh, fine. Tomorrow we're going and you can't cancel on me. Got it?_ "

"Okay." He breathed. "I've got to go, I'll see you tomorrow."

" _Bye, Benny_." Taking in a small breath as he nearly flinched, Ben hung up. It never felt right when she called him Benny, he _only_ liked _you_ saying that.

Stuffing his phone into the pocket of his slacks, he made his way out to the back of the school, towards the football field. He truly missed going out there just to watch you. In all honesty, he missed what you two had before...or, at least in that small period of time where you didn't fight and you were always flustered. At least now he knew why you were.

Taking a seat on the bleachers, he placed his bag down, resting his elbows on his thighs and shoved his face into the palms of his hands. He had gotten what he wanted--for you to like him back--yet, there he was dating somebody else. Then there was you, still with your boyfriend. It only made him wonder, if he hand't said yes to Lili, would he have told you that he felt the same?

Deep down he felt as if he wouldn't have, even if he truly liked you, he knew you were taken and couldn't seem to get in the way of the relationship. Although he couldn't stand Hux, he didn't have the heart to take you away from him, even if Hux didn't deserve you. At this point, Ben knew no one deserved you, he was being just as bad--if not worse than--Hux.

Walking into the barren girls locker room, you aimed for your locker and opened it up, pulling out your bag and shutting it after. Changing out of your uniform and into a pair of leggings and a sports bra, along with your sneakers, you looked down at your chest to see the crescent pendant Ben had bought you. Not once had you taken it off. It was always hidden under whatever shirt you wore so no one ever saw it. Unless, of course, when it fell out during cheerleading when you were doing the routines.

Letting out a small sigh, you pulled on the jacket you gained from being in the cheer squad, keeping the pendant underneath. You began to wonder if you'd ever take it off.

Zipping up your bag and pulling it over your shoulders, you walked out the back door and over to the field, eyes instantly landing on Ben as he sat on the bleachers.

Looking over at you as he was now sat with a small hunch in his back, he instantly sat up and waved at you, you wearing a halfhearted smile as you waved back. At least he was being supportive unlike- _Don't you dare start comparing and contrasting him to Hux._

Lowering your hand as you looked away, you made your way over to the team as you lowered your bag with the rest of them, pulling your hair back and going into your spot to stretch.

During the entire time of practice, your necklace kept sliding out from underneath, whacking you in the face whenever you tumbled. You didn't want to believe it was a sign of some sort, just the fact that maybe you shouldn't wear it during practice.

Watching over you the entire time, Ben constantly found himself contemplating about everything and every single move he's ever made. What if he never flirted you? Would you still have confessed? What if you never stayed those nine days? Would the two of you still had grown closer? There were so many what ifs that he hadn't realized your practice was over until he saw you standing right in front of him.

"Hey, lets go." You nudged your head, watching Ben snap out of his thoughts and look at you.

"Yeah..." Grabbing his bag, he stood up and hopped off the bleacher, walking along the pathway as you followed behind. It wasn't like Ben _not_ to pay attention. Usually, if not always, he kept his focus on you when you practiced. Maybe _everything_ between the two of you was changing.

Unlocking the door for you as you had gotten into Ben's car, he made his way around as he sat in the driver's seat, a silence falling between you as Ben didn't even bother starting the car.

Looking over at him with knitted brows, you watched as he ruffled through his school bag, only pulling out a case. "Here." Stretching his arm out, your eyes looked down at his hand to see him holding a CD case. "I made this that Sunday you were supposed to leave. Originally, I had planned on making it that day then giving it to you before you left but..."

Looking up at him as his focus was on the CD, your eyes then trailed back down to the case. Grabbing onto it and holding it with both hands, you realized he had drawn on the CD itself in sharpie.

'Lost in outer space' it read, beside it, small doodles of stars and planets, along with a crescent moon. "Thank you." You smiled, eyeing it.

"A pretty cheesy title but I thought that it'd give you that sense of being lost in space when you listen to it. Maybe hear it when you're home alone so you can truly enjoy it. Or through your earphones." Watching you eye the disk, his eyes moved up to your face, seeing a small smile.

"Definitely..." You muttered, placing it on your lap as Ben then turned his car on, the silence being replaced with the tape playing as your personal soundtrack on the way back home.

. . .

"They're here already..." Ben spoke up as he parked in your driveway, seeing his parents car there. "I wonder if it was worth it. That was a pretty small trip." Turning off the car, the two of you got out and aimed for your front door.

"Depends on where they went, some trips work for just four days." You nodded, unlocking the door and walking in.

"Ben!" Leia grinned, rushing over and pulling her son into a hug. "It's so good to see you."

"Hey...mom." He hugged back, bending to embrace her properly.

"Y/n!" Rey exclaimed, tackling you in a hug as you chuckled. "It's so good to see you."

"Oh, don't mock your mother." Han called out as you and Rey held back a laugh.

"Hey, Rey." You smiled at her as you let go from the hug, then turning to look at Han as you grinned. "Mr. Solo."

"Y/n." He bowed his head, Ben narrowing his eyes as he looked at you two.

"And hello, Leia!" You beamed at her. "I would properly greet you all but I need to shower. Cheerleading practice makes me feel filthy." You sighed, making your way over to the stairs. "I'll  
be back down in a bit!" You called out as your parents shook their heads.

"Didn't even say hi to us." Your father crossed his arms.

"Oh, don't worry, she'll be back down." Your mother nudged him.

Dropping your bags as you grabbed a change of clothes, a simple tee shirt and sweats, you entered your bathroom and didn't even bother locking the door as you knew Ben would have to pack his things.

Undressing yourself and tossing your clothes into the hamper, you turned on the shower to a warm temperature and drenched yourself with the running water. Although a part of you didn't want Ben to leave, you were glad he was. After all, you didn't want yourself growing more and more attached and become accustomed to him sleeping beside you. He was just your friend and would never be more than that--and you had to keep that in mind.

Washing your body as you hummed a few of the Grease songs in the shower, Ben had excused himself to go to your room and pack. Gathering his things and placing them in his bag, checking around your room and making sure he hadn't left anything (aside from what was in the bathroom), his eyes landed on your dresser.

He was so very tempted to sneak a peek and see what you had. It was enough that Rey had completely forgotten about the underwear you left behind and Ben decided to keep it for himself, but now that the mother load was _right_ there, feet away, he had the urge to look.

Trying to convince himself not to do it out of respect, he stared at the drawer for a moment, only to sigh as he knew he couldn't do it. As tempted as he was to see your underwear, he held back. What were the chances of you catching him? And what would his excuse be? 'Sorry, y/n, I'm a hormonal bastard who is very horny and I kept the underwear you left at my place and wanted to see what else you had'? He wouldn't even dare.

Sighing as he looked away from it, his eyes landed on your bathroom door, realizing he had to go in in order to get the last bit of his things. Walking over and reaching for the knob, you opened the door, instantly ramming yourself into him and knocking Ben onto the ground.

If it wasn't for the fact that his thoughts were still on the underwear drawer and on the fact that you were showering with the chance of him possibly seeing you in the nude accidentally, his mind was elsewhere. So, when you had collided with him, he couldn't think fast enough to get a grip or at least to stop himself from falling back.

The worst part was the way you landed.

At first, you had shut your eyes from the impact, but when you realized the position you were now in, your eyes widened.

You didn't know how it happened or how your teeth didn't shatter from the impact, but now you were lying on Ben, eyes wide as your lips were pressed against his own.

Feeling a scream build up in your throat from embarrassment, you looked into Ben's own wide eyes, knowing very well this was bad. As much as you would've enjoyed it, you knew the both of you were taken and Ben didn't like you in that way, so you knew this wasn't something enjoyable.

Of course, that all went out the window for Ben the second he realized what had happened. He was just about ready to move away and apologize, but a part of him took over without him thinking straight as he held onto your face, shut his eyes and kissed you.

Gulping as Ben's lips put pressure against your own, your heart stopped. Why was he kissing you? Why was he the one holding onto your face with his eyes shut? Wouldn't that have been you? Did he not have a sense of morale?!

Panicking as you knew how bad the situation was, fearing someone would see you, you shoved yourself off of him and instantly stood up, Ben's eyes opening and seeing this. As much as you wanted to yell at him, your words were caught in your throat as you were too worked up to even say anything.

Watching you back up and instantly dart out of the room, Ben stood up and stared at the door for a good minute. Did he actually just kiss you? Was he really that stupid to make such a move on a girl he claimed not to like? And when he was clearly taken and so was she?

Rubbing his face at the impulsive move, his thoughts were still set on the kiss. Although the only pressure that was felt from you was when your lips had first collided, the feeling lingered. It reminded him of his first kiss with you. It was so soft, possibly why he kissed you so easily. He couldn't help it, he loved the feeling of your lips against his own. They matched so perfectly, he hated how he didn't get that sensation, not even a bit, with Lili.

Finally looking away from the door, as if he had been waiting for you to just rush back in and kiss him, he moved to your bathroom and gathered the last bit of his things.

Locking yourself up in your brothers bedroom, you leaned your hands against the door, feeling your rapid heart beat against your chest. Dropping your head as you let out the biggest sigh, your lips tingling from the kiss. Why did his lips feel so perfect against your own? And why did it feel so good?

It was disappointing, to say the least. Even with a small kiss like that one, it made your heart go wild as your mind was practically exploding--something Hux's kisses never really did to you. Maybe when you first started dating way back when, but not now. Definitely not now. After all, it was rare to get a kiss from him nowadays.

Feeling yourself tear up as you were feeling lost, you turned around and walked over to the bunk bed, sitting down on the bottom bunk and shoving your face into your palms.

It wasn't fair to you. Ben clearly knew you liked him, so why would he make such a drastic move? For a person who claimed not to like you, he sure as hell sucked at proving it. Everything he ever did showed the complete opposite of that and you hated it.

He was toying with your emotions. Your heart called for Ben in ways it never called for Hux, yet, Ben was involved with someone else. Was this punishment? Was there an outside force doing this to you for liking another person while with someone?

You'd never condone cheating, of course not, but what could you do when you had fallen for your best friend? It wasn't like Hux was being the greatest boyfriend, in all honesty, he was dwindling in your eyes. What once was the boy you thought would take away any and all feelings of Ben Solo was now the young man who barely existed in your life.

You practically felt single.

Hux did try somewhat here and there, but not enough. He was barely around, always putting his debate team and interning first, never having time for you. Now, what kind of boyfriend was that?

Quietly crying into your hands as you felt lost and unsure of what to do, Ben had found himself walking out of your room and back down the stairs, not seeing a single sign of you. "Ben, honey, we've got to get going." Leia spoke over to him as he made it off the last step. "I'm exhausted and I'm sure your father and Rey are, as well."

"Alright..." He sighed, giving the area one last look in hopes you'd appear. "I'll meet you at the house then."

"Sorry to leave so early, we're just drained." Leia spoke to your mother as she shook her head.

"Oh, it's no problem at all, I understand." She smiled. "Get home safe." Saying her goodbyes, Leia and the rest of the family--aside from Ben--were walked out by your mother. "Y/n takes long showers so I'm sorry she isn't here to say goodbye."

"That's fine, we'll see her again soon. After all, she's always visiting Rey." Leia smiled before walking out, your mother waving goodbye as your father stood in the kitchen, watching Ben grab Kylo from the couch as the black cat had been sitting beside Jupiter.

"The pervert is going back home." Your father spoke, Ben looking over and narrowing his brows.

"Huh?" He responded, your father shaking his head.

"Don't think I don't notice your intentions for my daughter..." He pointed his finger. "You like her a lot. I see it. Guess what, _pal_ , she's taken and you have no chance with her."

Standing there with Kylo in his hold, Ben furrowed his brows even more. He hated being reminded that you were taken; he also hated the fact that he had no chance with you after the mess he put himself in. "I know that."

Being thrown back, your father was the one to scrunch up his brows in confusion. "What do you mean you know that?!"

"I know I have no chance with your daughter. I'm well aware of it, sir." He truthfully spoke. "I don't deserve her, and I'm sure you believe that as well." Grabbing his bags, Ben was just about to walk out, only to look over his shoulder. "But, Hux sure as hell doesn't deserve her, either."

Gulping, your father watched Ben walk out as he had walked over from the kitchen, seeing the young man exit the house as your mother walked back in. "Goodbye, Ben. Get home safe." She spoke over to him before shutting the door. Turning around and just about to walk towards the kitchen, your mother slowed down her steps. "Honey?"

Standing there, still stunned, your father looked away. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, patting the wall behind him. "That Solo boy is one of a kind, huh?"

"Mhm." She nodded, walking over and holding her husbands shoulder. "So is our daughter."

. . .

Nothing felt the same. The moment you woke up for school you knew you had to rid Ben from your life. If you hadn't, you'd only make yourself suffer more. It was enough you cried yourself to sleep from how confused you were.

It was taking a toll on you, all of it. From Ben to Hux, to everything else on your plate. It was getting to the point you felt like you were drowning in your own bubble. It was suffocating and cruel, a part of you felt dead with how depressed you grew. As much as you hated to say it, nothing good came from having Ben Solo back.

You made a pact with yourself--forget Ben Solo and allow life to take its path. If things didn't start getting better for you and Hux then you knew you'd have to make a move. After all, you weren't going to jump to someone else after leaving someone you were with for almost four years. Me time was necessary with the life you now had. If you were going to be single, you were going to spend it improving yourself and focusing on what was important--school, family, and your closest friends (excluding Ben).

Ben Solo was going to be a memory in your life and nothing more. If he wanted to toy with you then so be it. He needed to know that his actions have consequences. He needed to understand that it was never okay to play with someone's emotions when he knew just how they felt for him.

The sad part was, Ben never intended any of this. Actually, he never thought out his actions because he was always afraid. He feared so much that he did what ever it took to push away those fears; even if it made things worse.

Ben Solo was inexperienced and didn't know how to handle his own (let alone anyone else's) emotions. It was enough that only one other person knew about his crush on you, he just never thought about seeking help. Every move he's ever made was wrong, ever since the beginning. He knew very well it was all his fault that he was now in this situation, but his anger liked to cloud his judgement and so did his ego so when you started ignoring him once again, Ben was completely and utterly _pissed off_.

It was a full circle all over again. But when wasn't it?


	26. Pacify Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Pacify Her by Melanie Martinez

It felt as if the world was out to get you. Or, at least Ben and Lili were. The two were everywhere you looked when you were at school. From the second you entered the campus to the second you left for last minute rehearsals for the play. They were _everywhere_ and you weren't liking it one bit.

It made you sick to the stomach, seeing the two kissing one another, constantly by each other's side and never far apart. It made you wonder as to how close they truly were back in their old school to be that deep in a relationship that's only a week old.

You had promised yourself to ignore them--especially Ben--so you took it in yourself to do something about it. If Ben was going to be obnoxious with his girlfriend, so be it. Two could play this game.

Every chance you got, you flirted with Hux. Whether it was kissing him, saying something, or even small gestures, you did anything to bring out the romance in your relationship. Although Hux was pretty oblivious to the matter, there was some sort of response there which was enough for you to focus on.

During lunch, you made it painfully obvious that you were happy with the red haired boy. Holding his hand, kissing his cheek, smiling and laughing--Ben noticed it all and knew it was a bit to the extreme. You weren't ever like that with Hux, at least not when Ben first started the school. It was all an act, it must've been, he could tell; after all, you did like him.

Feeling the tension arise from between you and Ben with every move made on either end to either significant other, you made sure Hux was going to the play to watch you. At least then you'd have a reminder of who you were _in_ a relationship with and who _hadn't_ broken your heart unlike a certain dark haired boy.

Finding yourself getting ready for the play as--surprisingly--you couldn't feel an inch of worry or a single butterfly in your stomach, you looked in the mirror. You were practically wearing a mask concealing your emotions, acting as if you were _actually_ happy.

It was clear to you that you were as hurt as ever, why wouldn't you be? The one person you've grown to like more than your own boyfriend constantly screwed you over. Why did you still like him? What was the point in wasting your feelings on someone who didn't feel the same?

You were taken, Ben was taken, why did you allow it to get to this point?

Oh, that's right, because you were falling so very hard for your own best friend at a speed you couldn't quite hit the breaks on. It was nearly impossible to.

The second you made it out of the dressing room and on stage for your first scene, you instantly spotted Hux in the crow; he was towards the front and center, sitting next to no other than...Lili. _Of course she's here_. Rolling your eyes at the sight of her, not caring if she had seen, you went on with your lines.

You wouldn't doubt Ben asked her to go, you also didn't doubt he asked so he didn't look like a complete fool. Possibly doing it to make it even more believable that they were, in fact, dating. By now, you were annoyed at even the sight of her. You couldn't stand Lili, she was a factor to the recent problems. But, you couldn't fully blame her.

Ben had every say in that relationship as much as she had, so if he didn't want to be with her, he could have said no but didn't. It all circled back to him and, at this point, what was the use in blaming yourself for Ben's idiotic actions?

Performing your heart out and acting as if Ben was just some other person, you gave it your all as you sang and acted as you had to. You weren't going to let your problems affect your acting for the show, you wouldn't allow it. Especially when so many people were watching you--plenty of which you knew.

Realizing what scene was coming up, your emotions did a complete one-eighty. As much as you were calm before, you could now feel the anxiety. Your stomach turned as your heart began to thud. This was the moment you had to _actually_ kiss him. You never truly kissed him during rehearsals, so the fact that now you _had_ to made you want to puke. The play limited it only to one kiss, so lucky for you that was no problem--except when it was time to kiss Ben.

Feeling hesitant as Ben grew closer, you took in a deep breath and pushed your fears to a side. This was acting, it was all fictional and there was nothing behind it. Nothing but your lips colliding with his own, nothing like a simple scene to act out. _You can do this._

Sucking in a breath and kissing Ben, the audience instantly roared with applause, you two staying there for a good moment as everyone watched--especially a disturbed Hux and an irritated Lili.

Standing up and cheering you two on as everyone (minus the two bitter ones) clapped, you and Ben separated and looked at one another. Taking in a deep breath as Ben was practically panting, the two of you turned around and faced the crowd as they yelled out.

Trying not to overthink the kiss as you could feel the lingering sensation on your lips--as did Ben--you felt your heart racing. You hated that Ben's lips made you feel so mushy and bubbly, to the point you could easily melt into a puddle of pure happiness.

Little did you know Ben felt the exact same way about you and your own lips. Not even Lili brought this out of him.

As the play had come to its closing and everyone bowed, you had stood beside Ben as the crowd cheered, some  
people actually tossing flowers. Searching the crowd and seeing Hux standing there, clapping, he gave you a small smile. Sighing as you knew he wasn't truly enjoying it, you gave him the same smile back before looking away, eyes instantly landing on Finn, Rey and Poe as they were yelling at you.

Feeling a toothy smile appear on your face, you waved at them as they all waved back, clapping and cheering for you. At least you had them.

"Thank you for coming, you can enjoy the musical all over again tomorrow evening!" Ti spoke into the microphone before those on stage went backstage.

Turning away from the trio as you couldn't help but smile, you realized Ben was no longer beside you. Letting out a small breath in relief, you were one of the lasts to go backstage. Nearly everyone rushed to change, a few even leaving with their outfits on, not caring.

Walking over to the dressing room, seeing the girls rush around as a few congratulated you as they had left, you smiled to them before aiming towards your mirror. Slowing your pace as a bouquet of pink roses sat there, you looked around and saw no one else had flowers. Smiling, you eyed the dozen, picking them up and seeing a note.

"Hux actually got me flowers..." You muttered to yourself, opening the letter, only to realize it _wasn't_ Hux--yet, a poem written in pen signed off anonymously.

 _Pink roses._  
_So beautiful, yet, so harmful._  
_The petals are the sweet moments, but, the thorns are there to remind us of the troubles that arise and prick our skins. It's a bittersweet reality._  
- **Anon**.

Blinking as you swallowed, you folded the paper back up and looked around once agin, everyone's attention elsewhere. Looking back down at the paper, you moved over to your bag and slid it in, laying the flowers back down before changing out of your costume. Who would've sent you flowers with such a poem?

Changing into a dress, pulling on some tights and boots, knowing very well how chilly it got at night, you pulled on a jacket before gathering your things. "See you guys tomorrow." You waved as they all said 'see you' with a wave.

Walking out with the flowers in one had as your other held the strap of your bag, you met up with Hux outside the auditorium, seeing him standing there, lost in his phone. "Hey, Arm." You lightly smiled, the boy looking up from his phone before locking it, sliding it into his back pocket and walking over to kiss your cheek.

"You did great out there." He nodded. "Quite the performance."

"Thank you." You smiled back, Hux looking down at the roses and narrowing his brows.

"Who got you those?" Looking at the flowers, then back at him, your brows raised the slightest before you frowned. So it truly wasn't Hux...then, who?

"Uh, Rey, Finn and Poe." You lied, Hux believing you as he moved around to wrap an arm around you.

"That's very kind of them, they were here?" He asked as you nodded.

"Yeah, they were actually in the same row as you but to the far right." You stated as the two of you made your way to the schools parking lot, over to his car. "They were really enthusiastic towards the end." You chuckled as Hux simply hummed.

"Well, they understand what true talent is, then. You have good friends."

"Yeah..." Letting out a sigh, you looked ahead as you thought about Ben. "Good friends..."

. . .

"I hope you don't mind a few of my friends are meeting us here." Hux spoke as he parked his car in the parking lot of Maz's Diner. "Dopheld and the others."

"Oh, no, that's fine." You nodded, truly not caring at the moment. "I'm gonna bring the flowers in, I don't want them getting flattened from laying down too long." Exiting the car as you held onto the flowers, you brought your bag with you. Luckily, it was just your school bag, you had brought your change of clothes in a smaller bag and just stuffed it in.

"Oh, they're already here." Hux pointed over to the trio standing by the door, you smiling as you knew them from his debate team. They weren't all that bad, though a bit snobbish and at that level as Hux, but they were pretty decent towards you at least and respected you.

"Congratulations on the play." Dopheld bowed his head as the other two had done the same. "Hux told us you have the lead."

"Yeah, it's crazy!" You breathed. "Very fun, so I'm appreciating it."

"That's great, maybe we'll go tomorrow and see it first hand..." He spoke with a smile, hands deep in his pockets as you nodded.

"That would be lovely, I'm sure you guys would enjoy it."

"You should have came today, then I wouldn't have been so lonely." Hux spoke, walking past as he aimed for the door, you simply sighing. Something was clearly up with him. "But, it was worth it, at least I got to watch my girlfriend most of the time." Opening the door as everyone walked towards it, the three boys allowed you to go first.

"You must be proud of y/n to have the lead. That's awesome." One of the boys spoke as the five of you took a table, Maz looking over and instantly smiling over at you as you had done the same. That is until she saw who you were with, her smile dropped as she looked away.

Maz was neither a fan of your boyfriend or Ben's all of a sudden girlfriend. Actually, she couldn't stand them. If she could, she wouldn't serve either of them.

Although Hux was acting rather off, you were enjoying the company of his friends. Even though they were the rich kids who held their nose high, they were quite social and friendly when they were with you. In all honesty, they made you laugh a lot more than Hux had when he was around them. They were quite the comic relief, the first time you had met them you never expected any of them to be that way.

"It was terrible, Dopheld had to cover up everything while the two of us had to hide! If it wasn't for him, we would've been screwed! Possibly kicked out of the event!" One of the boys spoke over to you breathlessly, on the verge of crying with all the laughing they had been doing.

"That's insane! You guys are nuts, I wouldn't be able to do that." You laughed, shaking your head. "Though, I'm sure if it was with you guys I may just think twice."

"Next time, y/n." Dopheld spoke. "Definitely next time.." Smiling at the boy as you looked up, your eyes suddenly landed on Ben, walking alongside Lili as they were just about to pass your table.

Swallowing the sudden lump in your throat, the two of you made eye contact before you casually looked away, acting as if you had still been tuned in to the conversation and laughing--even if your heart was now racing.

The sight of you made Ben's heart stop. He didn't expect to see you at Maz's, not after the incident. Yet, here you were, sitting amongst five guys and seeming as if you were having the time of your life.

Feeling the slightest of jealousy, Ben tightened his jaw as he took the booth behind you, you letting out a small breath as you had heard the shifting. Looking over your shoulder for a moment, you noticed Ben was right behind you as Lili was just about to sit beside him, only for him to shift a bit.

Looking back ahead, you felt your heart shattering all over again. You didn't want this to overwhelm you, you were actually having a good time! So, you tried. You tried keeping a brave face on and ignoring the fact that the person sitting right behind you was the boy who tore you apart.

Feeling as if the laughing and story telling was slowly hollowing out around you as all you heard was your heart, you felt your chest become heavy as your eyes began to water. You couldn't do it, you couldn't just sit there and act like everything was okay when they clearly weren't. You felt like you were about to burst, as if you were about to breakdown in front of the whole diner.

It didn't help that you subconsciously found yourself focusing on Ben and Lilis conversation and her constant flirtation. The things she said made your skin crawl and your stomach turn for the worst.

Holding it in as you gulped, you excused yourself, walking over Hux and standing up. "Excuse me...I hate to do this but I'm not feeling well, I feel a migraine coming on. Must've been all the performing." You lied.

"Aw, no..." One of the boys frowned.

"You want me to take you home?" Hux asked as you shook your head.

"No, I'll take the bus. I don't want to interrupt the fun." You waved your hand. "Please, enjoy. I'm sorry to bail, my heads killing me. I thought I could fight through it but clearly I can not." You chuckled.

"I hope you feel better, we'll see you tomorrow and more than likely go to the play." Dopheld spoke as you then smiled over at him.

"Thank you, Dopheld. I appreciate it." With a single nod, you then bent the slightest to kiss Hux's cheek. "I'll see you all later."

"Feel better, let me know when you're home." Hux spoke.

"Will do." Waving as the three other boys waved back, you walked off.

Overhearing everything, Ben took in a deep breath after swallowing hard. He knew the migraine was him, _himself_ \--and Lili. It wasn't the brightest idea to sit so close to you, not after everything that had been going on.

It was eating him alive the distance, although he was sure to be mad about it, he was hurt more than everything.

You were his best friend, you meant the world to him--clearly when he liked you just as much, if not, more. But, of course, Ben Solo was a complete wreck and didn't know how to conceal it. He wasn't one to make things better, it was always a domino effect for him and he absolutely hated it.

But what he hated the most was knowing you were hurt _because_ of him. "I'll be right back." Ben instantly spoke up, interrupting Lili as she had ben mumbling on about some nonsense.

Standing up from the table and rushing  out, Hux lifted his head only to see the figure walk by and exit the diner. Narrowing his eyes, he only turned his attention back to his friends.

Seeing you in the distance, taking a seat on the bench, waiting for the bus, Ben could see the hand movements of you wiping away tears. _Oh no_. He thought, knowing very well it was too late.

Fighting the urge to cry even though your tears betrayed you and slipped one by one as you continually wiped them, you sucked in a breath. Couldn't they wait until you were home? You didn't want people seeing you crying on the bus, it was enough that it's happened before.

Hearing footsteps in the distance as you took in deep breaths, you looked up only to roll your eyes. Why couldn't Ben leave you alone? Why did he have to keep taunting you? Didn't he understand that he was the cause of your pain?

"What is it, Ben?" You spoke rather harshly, looking at him with an expression as if you had zero interest in speaking to him.

"I wanted to see if you were okay..." _Dumb thing to say, Solo_. "I-"

"You wanted to see if I was okay?" You questioned, only to let out a scoff as Ben flinched at the sound of it. "Really? _You_?"

"I'm-"

"I-I really don't have the heart to hear what you have to say. Ben, you know how I feel. You know what I'm struggling through. I...I can't..." Taking in a deep breath, you continued on, "I can't keep doing this."

"Can't keep doing this?" His brows furrowed.

"I can't be your friend...I can't take it. Ben, all we ever do is fight. It's unhealthy. No matter how many times we make up and apologize, it just keeps happening and-and I don't know how much more my heart can take!" You truthfully spoke, looking up at him as your eyes burned with tears.

Looking down at you as Ben's eyes were doing the same, he tightened his jaw. This was his fault. It always was, and he never knew what to do about it. The hole he made for himself only grew deeper and deeper with how many mistakes he's made. "Y/n-"

"No, I...you know...you know how I feel towards you. You know I like you! Why-why would you do that? Why would you kiss me when you knew how much that would fuck me over!" You nearly shouted as you stood up, Ben gulping at the sound of you cursing. It wasn't like you to curse, it was a rarity actually, but to see you raising your voice and being vulgar, he knew how much he _fucked_ _up_.

Standing there as he had no idea what to say, you only shook your head. "We were doing fine, or at least I thought we were. But then that happened. Ben, we're both taken, you know I like you and you've clearly stated that I'm not your type! How could you be so-so stupid to kiss me!" Unable to hold the tears back anymore, they began to stream down your cheeks, Ben watching them as his brows narrowed even more. He couldn't do anything, at this point, he knew it had gotten too far. "We can't be friends. We can't keep living this lie that it's going to be okay!"

"Y/n, please-"

"No...no, I can't do it. I can't take it. It's hurting my heart to see you! To see you with _her_! It hurts me knowing that not even I have faith in this friendship. Ben, I need my distance. I need to be away from you. If I don't...I'll go mad."

"Y/n, we can-"

"We can't do anything, it's gone too far." Shaking your head as you saw the bus roll up, you turned around. "I'm sorry." Walking off and over to the bus, Ben watched you as his own tears began to spill. Watching you go felt like a stab in the chest, and the thought of losing you felt like death. How did he allow it to get this far? The one person who he had grown so attached to and so close to was now out of his life all because he was afraid and could never do anything right.

Seeing the bus door close as it began to move, Ben's eyes shifted over to the bench you were sitting on, instantly spotting the bouquet and quickly picking them up. "Y/n!" He shouted, chasing after the bus. "Y/n!"

Making your way down the aisle and towards a seat in the back, your eyes moved over to the window, seeing Ben running, holding the bouquet as he yelled. Gulping, you looked away and took a seat, back facing the window as you rested your head against it. A part of you knew he was the one who sent the roses, but you didn't want to believe it. _It_ _couldn't have been him and_ _it_ _wasn't him_. At least, you assumed.

Slowing down his pace as he had watched you look away, his arm fell to his side, watching the bus drive into the distance as his heart ached. Shifting his focus from the bus, over to the flowers, he searched through them only to see you had taken the note. Taking in a deep breath, he tossed the flowers into the trash near the bus post before walking back to the diners lot.

Rubbing his hands against his face as the tears grew more and more prominent, Ben made it into his car and slammed the door. Clutching onto the steering wheel, he rested his forehead against it as he cried out. Trying so hard not to make a sound as his teeth tightened, a few grunts were heard.

Sitting in a complete silence as the sound of his sobbing were the only noises to be heard, his tears one by one dripped down and onto his jeans. He never knew that the sight of seeing you walk away could hurt him so bad the way it had.

. . .

The entire time you were on the bus, you tried your damnedest to hold back your wailing. Every now and then, your bottom lip quivered as a few tears slipped. You bit down rather hard as you clutched onto the sleeves of your jacket. You didn't want to cry, you couldn't cry, Ben had this coming.

But, a part of you--a _big_ part--couldn't hold it in. It hurt you, it felt like someone had tore your heart out and stomped on it while you watched. The pain was excruciating. Sure, you've lost friends before, but not in this manner. It was painful and it physically hurt you. Ben was the closest friend you've ever had--even Rey and Poe didn't hear the things he had from you. He understood you and somehow was like your own living, breathing diary. It wasn't like Poe and Rey weren't, Ben was just something _more_.

To be technical, it wasn't all that long since you had known him--actually, Poe and Rey were friends with you longer--but Ben was so easy to talk to, he knew how to comfort you and listen. He had a way with his words and somehow always made things better when you spoke to him.

How could someone with arms wide open use them to practically strangle you?

You couldn't understand it. You couldn't understand _him_.

Maybe that's why you were in the situation you were in now, the universe didn't want you with him. It was like it wasn't meant to be no matter how much you liked the boy. It was a shame it got to this point. Not only did you lose a friend, but it felt as if you lost a part of you.


	27. Soapy Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Soapy Water by Wolf Alice | LOTS OF ANGST TO COME

Ben Solo wasn't his usual self, although it was hard to differentiate when the boy constantly wore a bland expression on him, his aura was too strong. His mother noticed, along with his father and sister, even the student body--at least those who had paid attention. Ben Solo was quite the being, he was a dark cloud that loomed around that was hard to miss. Although he intimidated many, plenty of others admired him; they even fantasized.

But with how he carried himself on that Thursday of school, everyone could tell he wasn't himself.

The way he walked about was off, he basically was dragging his corpse, almost as if his soul was completely gone and was just a walking carcass. His face was completely dull. Not a single shift in his lips or eyes. His emotions were as flat as ever. The darkness around his eyes were far more prominent and the color within them was gone--almost void of it. It was like looking into a black hole.

It was almost as if he carried around a darkness about him that was hard to miss. Everywhere he went, people looked at him--he was far too quiet for his own good and even more secluded than before.

The entire day was miserable for him, he could barely speak to his own girlfriend, avoiding her as he wasn't in the mood for any of her affection. Poe tried approaching him but he dismissed it. Even his own sister he shoved away from his life.

But what made it far worse was the reality that you were, in fact, over the friendship. Not once had you looked at him, even when he was looking away he couldn't sense your eyes. You were completely and fully done with Ben Solo. The boy was 'officially' out of your life. It was as if he was nonexistent and you never even knew about him, almost like a student you've never met before.

The way you carried yourself almost seemed as if you hadn't lost a best friend. You were radiant and happy, your smile was bright and you were extremely social. You were even more attached to Hux than ever. It irked Ben. He wanted to puke his guts out. He felt like he was the only one in pain and that it was more of a relief to you that he was out of your life.

Ben hated it. He felt useless and like trash. Almost as if you had discarded him like a broken toy you couldn't possibly fix.

The more he realized you were doing fine, the angrier he grew.

He was furious, that was a given. By the end of the day his body was more tense, body slightly hunched as his fists were clenched. He even wore a look as if someone were to approach them, he'd easily knock them into oblivion--this possibly being the reason why people constantly cleared the halls for the towering boy.

How was it that you were doing fine? Ben couldn't seem to understand it. If you truly liked him and meant that he was your best friend, wouldn't you have been more hurt? It was hard to believe you were. You looked as if you had the best sleep of your life, almost as if you were sleeping up in the clouds without a care in the world.

How was it that you looked like the epitome of heaven while he looked like hell?

Ben was unaware of the underlying fact that you were hurting as bad. You just knew how to hide it well. You didn't need anyone worrying about you, not when the problem was of something you possibly couldn't confess to.

Poe was an option, the _only_ option, but even then you couldn't tell him. He was Ben's friend as well, you didn't want him in the middle.

So, you kept it concealed and locked up. No one was allowed to know and you weren't about to hint to the real pain you were suffering through.

It was the second and last night of the Grease play. You were, of course, as anxious as ever. Even if you had done it the night before, it was harder on you now that you had to share scenes with someone you weren't on good terms with.

And, just as you feared, the show didn't go as well as the night before. The chemistry was off, when it came to your scenes with Ben, it was obvious there was some sort of tension there--something hard to miss. Luckily, the crowd didn't pay any mind and still enjoyed it. Finn, Rey, and Poe had gone to watch you again, approaching you after the show to give you flowers and multiple hugs, congratulating you. Then, there was Alex and Mason who had gone--they had clearly seen the difference in the show.

Unaware to you, the twins were there the night before but in the far back. They could sense the tension and uneasiness between you and Ben. It was bad, they knew it. Especially when in chemistry the two of you [Ben and yourself] hadn't shared eye contact not once. Which was odd when it happened multiple times each class.

In honor of the back to back nights, Ti had decided to throw a celebration and give out small awards. Of course, you weren't up for it, seeing as it was painfully obvious you'd have to be beside Ben, so you snuck away.

The second the show had ended and Rey, Finn and Poe had approached, you changed out of your clothes into something more comfortable and decided to leave. You weren't about to tell the theater teacher--Ti--you had to leave for some lie, she could easily call out liars so you avoided it.

Hearing the announcements begin as you snuck out, Ti spoke up to the crowd. "First award goes to y/n y/l/n and Ben Solo for their outstanding performance as our main characters, Sandy and Danny." Hearing the crowd cheer as you had stopped in your tracks, you swallowed and continued walking away.

Just about to walk along the side to make it out the side door, you came to a stop as you heard someone talking on the phone. "I don't know what's up with him...I'm putting all the effort into the relationship and he's doing jack-shit. I'm the one to make the first move, I'm the affectionate one. It's like he has no enthusiasm. I do everything and it's so annoying. It's like he doesn't want this relationship." Looking over to see who it was, your eyes widened at the sight of Lili. "No, I'm not leaving him. I finally got him. You should see how many people are jealous." Rolling your eyes, you only continued on your way.

Seeing you were no where around, Ben caught a glimpse of you walking out the back as he stood there with crossed arms, only to follow after. "Y/n and Ben?" Ti called out, seeing Ben rush out. "Okay, well, next award goes to..."

Shoving past the doors as Ben watched you walk in the distance, over to the parking lot as you held onto your bag, he called out. "Hey!" Hearing someone shout, you turned around, only for your heart to drop at the sight of Ben storming towards you. "As best friends we are supposed to fight for a friendship no matter what! And you doing this to me, completely avoiding me and dropping me out of your life like I'm nothing is a real shitty move!"

Taking in a deep breath as he shouted at you, the boy came to a stop in front of you, your fear instantly turning into frustration. "Do not give me that crap! If we were true best friends, we wouldn't bicker like we always do! We wouldn't constantly fight!"

"But that's why we always make up! We always find a way to resolve it! By you doing this and kicking me out of your life is you giving up on me!" He pointed a finger as your brows narrowed.

"It's not giving up on you when I'm doing this for me!" You fired back. "This is for my health, my sanity, and for my best interests! I confessed to you Ben! I told you I liked you and you said you didn't feel the same so I respected that! But when you go about and kiss me, it does not make things okay! You don't just go around kissing the girl you claim not to like! Now _that's_ a shitty move!"

"So pushing me away is how you're going to solve this problem? Completely avoiding me and acting like you never knew who I was is going to help out this situation?!" He questioned.

"The problem here is you! So, yes! It's going to help the situation! I don't go about kissing you even if I'd want to. I have boundaries. I know what my limits are." You spoke through gritted teeth. "It's hypocritical of you to kiss me when you claim that there's no feelings on your end. So the blame is on you for making such a drastic move and thinking its totally okay!"

Watching him fume in his spot as his chest heaved, you shook your head in annoyance. He wasn't even going to defend himself, let alone, counter your words. "You are such a hypocrite, you know that? You have the audacity to do such thing and then put the blame on me for taking action and doing what's right! I can't be around someone who plays with my feelings as if I'm a toy!"

"I am not a hypocrite when I'm trying to fight for this friendship, y/n!" Ben pointed to himself as you rolled your eyes. You couldn't believe how much he was avoiding everything else.

"See! You are being a hypocrite! You're ignoring everything else and paying attention solely on my insults! You are a hypocrite for saying I'm not your type and not liking me, only to kiss me. You are a hypocrite for wanting to fight for this friendship, yet, not paying attention to the _real_ issue. And you are a hypocrite for using Lili when you know it's wrong!"

"For the millionth time, I am not using Lili!" He shot back. "Why would I use her if I love her?!"

"Well if you love her then know your boundaries and limits!" You yelled.

"You're telling me to know my boundaries and limits when you're the one who likes me?!" He narrowed his eyes as he shook his head. "Now that's hypocritcal!"

"You know what?! You're right! It is because I love Hux and I shouldn't be wasting my time on you when I'm with someone else!" Cringing at your statement, Ben clenched his teeth. "It's useless for us to be near one another when it's obvious we can't even handle a friendship! You love Lili, I love Hux. Let's leave it at that and leave each other alone. It's clear that _that's_ in our best interests."

Looking down at you as you could see his jaw tense up as his nose flared, Ben instantly got a hold of your face, lips crashing against your own. As much as he was worked up about the entire situation, and as much as he knew it was wrong to kiss you when that was exactly what lead him to where he was, he couldn't help but want to. Although it wasn't the time to be turned on, the sight of you yelling at him did hit him in the right places even if they shouldn't have.

Not even thinking it through, you kissed him back as your eyes had shut for a moment. Lying your hand on the back of his neck, you only snapped out of it and shoved him away, looking at him as the two of you stood there, breathless.

Backing up, you instantly rushed off. You shouldn't have kissed him back, you shouldn't have allowed him to do it. Yet, you had. You had succumbed to your desires and all you could do was run away. Why did things always end up this way?

Ben Solo couldn't be a part of your life, things were only getting worse and you never wanted to be the one to cheat. You were happy with Hux, weren't you? The two of you were together for almost four years, shouldn't he be the one you truly like?

That was it, you needed to focus on Hux and only Hux. He was what matters, not Ben Solo.

You officially were going to rid Ben Solo from you and your life.

. . .

The night was anything but easy for you. All you could do was dream about Ben and him kissing you--it got to the point it almost felt like he was actually kissing you and it was driving you mad. You continuously woke yourself up, tossing and turning under your sheets as you knew you shouldn't be dreaming about it. But, no matter what you did, your mind always reverted back to the dream.

Then there was Ben. At first, he was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and doing nothing but thinking about the events. It affected him just as much as it had to you, except, it made his whole body tingle. The fact that you kissed back this time made him wonder. What if there was still a chance to make up for all the mess? What if there was still a chance to win you over once and for all?

He was getting too ahead of himself and he knew this. But, still, if you had wanted to distance yourself from him...why would you kiss back?

Ben was caught in his contemplation, unable to sleep as that's all he did. Removing his sheets and sitting up, Ben pulled on some sweats, a jacket and sneakers and decided it was best to go for a late night run. Maybe then that would clear his mind. What ever to make him feel the least bit of sane.

Sadly, things only got worse for the two of you the following day. Although you had been gone most of the school day due to your cheerleading practice for the homecoming game, you found yourself thinking about Ben; almost to the point that you were forgetting your moves.

The second you had made it to school, knowing very well you'd see him in first period, you held your breath. You were going to continue avoiding him, not make any eye contact and just act like everything was okay.

Of course, the second you had walked into chemistry, notebook held close to your chest as you kept your focus elsewhere, your eyes instantly landed on Ben--and, not to your surprise, he was already looking at you. Quickly looking away as your eyes shifted to Hux, Ben's eyes followed your gaze, only to let out a huff. There was always Hux.

It was hard for Ben to keep his eyes off of you, he even found himself subconsciously looking over at you. It didn't help that the kiss was still lingering, but the fact that you were in your cheer uniform made things far worse for him. He just hated that even in such bad situations, he was able to be turned on by the sight of you.

Getting ready for the pep rally as you stood in the locker room hall of the gym, you found yourself pacing, pom-pom in either of your hands as you tried assuring yourself everything was going to be okay. There were hundreds of kids at YODA, so it wasn't like you'd easily point out Ben in a crowd. At least there was that. You also had Hux to focus on (as your group wasn't all that reliable seeing as Rey and Finn were part of the rally as was Poe for being a part of the football team).

"Y/n? You okay?" Natasha asked as she had popped up from behind you.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." You nodded as you had lied. "Why's that?"

"You've been pacing the whole time and you look really uneasy. You're not nervous, are you? You've been on the cheer team each year you've been here, it shouldn't be all that scary." She shrugged as you took in a small breath.

"Oh, no, I'm not." You waved a hand. "Well, I've missed a lot of practices...but I'm fine, I was able to get a hang of the routine no thanks to a few of the girls." You smiled.

"Alright, whatever you say!" She smiled back, making her way over to where the cheer squad had been lining up to make their way in. "Good luck!'

"You too!" You called out before looking down at the pom-poms in your hands, sucking in a breath. "I'm going to need it..." Following after, the group made their way out and took there spots in a line to greet the student body as they walked on. Doing small cheers as music played in the background, echoing throughout the gym, you felt your heart racing.

There was a high chance your eyes could land on Ben and you were hoping he'd mix well with the crowd...even if he was a little too tall. Taller than most people in the school for that matter.

Shaking the pom-poms as you chanted, moving around and occasionally talking to the girls on either side of you, your heart skipped a beat as you had spotted Ben. It was like your eyes were magnetized to him.

Quickly looking away before the boy could even notice, you then spotted Hux and smiled. Waving at him as he had waved back, you hadn't noticed Ben was now looking at you. Taking in a breath as he followed the direction you had been looking in, he only rolled his eyes. It was like each time he thought he was the only one, Hux always appeared.

As the bleachers were filled and the football team was welcomed in, you kept your focus on the marching band and cheered for Finn and Rey, clapping as you found yourself moving around in your seat to the beat as the rest of the cheer squad had done the same. The one thing that was rather odd about pep rallies was having your principal there. The man was nearly a century old--looked like it at least--and was still kicking.

He was rather creepy, in yours and many other students opinion. Principal Snoke was rather lanky and tall, he was possibly the only one to outsize Ben as he was nearly seven feet tall. No one really knew his height, some said he was ranging from six eight to even seven feet tall. You just couldn't comprehend as to how he was still able to walk without any assistance. "To wrap things up before the big game tonight, the Youth of D'qar Academy cheer team!"

Hearing the crowd cheer, you and the rest of the squad stood up, taking the basketball court and getting into your spots. Wearing a big smile, knowing very well that plenty of people were watching you, you took in a deep breath as the music began. _You can do this. Just a short dance, it'll be over before you know it._

Keeping your focus on the routine as you counted in your head, your eyes bounced around the crowd. Moving from student to student, you were happy that they weren't Ben.

Taking part in the tumbling as you moved from one side of the court to the other, doing your stunts, you were reaching the routines end as it was your time to fly. Although you had practiced this particular part plenty of times as being a flyer wasn't all that easy--no thanks to balance and having the strength to do what you do--you were assuring yourself that you could do it.

You didn't know why you were suddenly doubtful when you've been a flyer for quite some time now. It wasn't like you didn't have confidence in those holding you, let alone, yourself. So what was the sudden feeling in your stomach?

Being held in the air as you continued on with your movies, being tossed up a few times, you were reaching the finale. Moving you to the center, you smiled your way through it until your eyes had landed on Ben. Gulping, you tried and tried so hard to look away but you couldn't. It was as if your focus and all your attention was glued onto him.

Hearing the music echo out as you practically stared at him as he stared back, you instantly snapped out of it as the music came its end, you taking in deep breaths as you held your pose and looked straight ahead rather than anyone. You had hoped no one noticed that.

Bringing you back down as the team cleared out the floor and made their way back to the hallway of the lockers, you could hear Snokes voice in the microphone speak as you rushed your way out of the gym.

Hearing your heart pound in your eyes as your breathing became sporadic, you tried steadying it out and took in slow, deep breaths. "You did great!" Natasha exclaimed, standing in front of you. "I told you!"

"Thanks." You nodded, going to grab your bag as you had to make your way to the busses soon.

"You did wonderful, y/n!"

"Good job out there!"

"Great performance!"

Hearing the compliments fly by as you thanked them all, your thoughts were still dead set on Ben. Why couldn't your life let you be? Why did it have to continuously taunt you the way it had?

All you wanted was peace of mind, was that too hard to ask for?

. . .

"I find it rather satisfying that we're all out in the field. I mean, it would still be cool to have each other as support in the crowd, but...seeing you cheer and Poe play? Along with Finn beside me? It's awesome." Rey spoke as you stood beside her by the bleachers as the crowd started piling up from either team.

"It's fun! I mean, were basically forced to support one another." You teased. "After all, most of the time the band's around for games."

"That's true, but the cheer squad is at every game. Aren't you guys also at the basketball games?" Rey questioned.

"Only major games. We're practically reserved for the football team. Also, sometimes lacrosse." You pointed out as Rey nodded.

"Lacrosse seems interesting, I wouldn't have mind trying it out. That or volleyball, maybe soccer." She spoke.

"Oh, volleyball is nice. Do you remember how my choices were either volleyball, swimming, or cheer?" You pointed a finger.

"Oh, yeah! But you didn't want to do swimming because of your hair and you had missed the volleyball tryouts!" She exclaimed as you laughed.

"I was so upset...like, I had practiced all summer for that!"

"Yeah, but you ended up being a cheerleader. Which is great because of moments like these." Rey smiled as you smiled back.

"I couldn't agree more!" Seeing the bleachers being filled, Rey only sighed

"Well, I'll see you later, band is waiting." She pointed as you waved, Rey rushing off as you made your way back over to where the girls were.

"Y/n!" Turning around, you saw Hux standing on the ramp for the bleachers.

"Hey!" You smiled, rushing over and holding onto the fence. "Are you still up for the after party? Win or loose." You wiggled your brows as Hux let out a small laugh.

"Ah, yes...I promised you I would." He grinned.

"Perfect!" You cheered, you only catching sight of Ben. _Not again_. It was like each time you looked at him, no matter where you two were, he was already looking. "Well, I'll see you later." Tip toeing and tugging Hux down by the collar, you kissed him, letting go of him and instantly looking at Ben as his jaw shifted in annoyance.

"Good luck out there." He waved before walking off.

"Thanks." Turning away from the bleachers as you could feel Ben's eyes burning into the back of your head, you sighed.

For the rest of the game, you had your back facing the crowd unless you had to face them. Majority of the time you were watching the game, cheering on Poe and the team as they scored.

"Come on, Poe!" You shouted as the clock was ticking. They were on the last quarter and were tied. If Poe made this, then they'd win. "You can do it!" You yelled as the crowd cheered.

Watching him make the touchdown, you screamed, the cheer team all huddling up and celebrating. "Poe! Poe! Poe!" Everyone chanted as you clapped.

Smiling and getting a hold of Poes attention, you waved with a big grin, giving him a thumbs up as he had done the same back. "Y/n, you going to the party?" One of the girls asked as you nodded.

"Yeah! I'll meet you guys there! I've gotta leave some things in Hux's car before I change." Grabbing your duffle bag, you walked over to the bleachers as Hux had walked down to hand you his keys. "I'll be back to change, then we can go."

"Okay, I parked in the second row." Hux informed as you nodded, then rushing off.

For once you felt alive and rather excited, too bad that was all going to be ruined when Ben decided to follow you out to the parking lot.

Making your way to Hux's car as you had been smiling, happy about Poe's win and the fact that you were going to a party after so long, you dropped your things in his trunk and pulled out a small bag that had your change of clothes.

Shutting the trunk and just about ready to haul back to change, you turned around and felt your heart thud against your chest harshly as it had skipped a beat. "What the hell, Ben?!" You shrieked, holding your chest.

"We need to talk."


	28. Fallingforyou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Fallingforyou by The 1975

"We need to talk." Gulping at the sound of his tone, you took in slow, deep breaths. Nothing good was about to come from this. Not with his demeanor.

His jaw was tightened, brows lightly furrowed as his fists were clenched. Standing with a hunch in his back as you could practically hear his breathing, your heart skipped a beat. You thought after the previous events it was clear there was _nothing_ left to talk about.

"What, Ben?" You stood your ground as you snapped. "What is it _now_? What can we possibly fight about?"

"Really? You're already snapping at me?" Ben raised a brow as you now crossed your arms. "I was being reprimanded yesterday for kissing you. I got yelled at because I kissed you, yet, when you do it, it's alright?" He questioned as you shifted your jaw. " _That's_ hypocrisy."

"You kissed me first?! You knew what were arguing about, yet, you do it anyway! You do the one thing this whole issue raised from! And, for what?!" You raised your voice.

"And you kissed back! You kissed me back, y/n! After yelling about how much we can't be friends and how much it's hurting you!" He mocked. "You kissed me back after you said you loved Hux! Who's the hypocrite, now?!"

"Are you seriously trying to prove a point?!" You shook your head. "Is that why you kissed me?!"

"Yeah!" Ben shouted back without thinking it through.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Yelling at him, you tossed your hands in the air. "What makes you think that's a smart move?! You don't just do something that stupid to make a statement, Ben!"

"Well, it worked! You're coming at me for kissing you, yet, you kissed me back!"

"You have got to be kidding me. Are you hearing yourself? You're infuriated by the fact that I kissed you back?! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!" You screamed. "You know I like you! You know how I feel about you! Why the _fuck_ would you kiss me if you knew there was a chance I'd kiss back?!" Feeling your heart begin to pound rather quickly against your chest, your breathing grew sporadic.

"You need to stop going around, avoiding me and avoiding the situation and just step up!" Ben curved, completely avoiding your question.

"What the hell, Ben?! Don't just dismiss my question! Answer it for heavens sake!"

"Why should I?! It's not like it matters to you anyways! We're not friends anymore!" At the sound of that, your teeth clenched, brows furrowing as your eyes welled up with tears.

"It matters when you're the one who said we should fight for this friendship! It matters when it's something very important! And it matters because it affects my feelings!"

"Y/n, you have a boyfriend! Get over me!"

Gasping as your jaw fell open, you instantly smacked him across the cheek. "Fuck you! You don't just tell someone to get over you! It's not that easy! Especially when all you ever did was flirt with me!" You pointed a finger as Ben stood there, eyes growing darker than they were before.

"You don't understand how much it drove me insane! The way you touched me! The way you spoke to me! It isn't in the manner of a best friend! Why would someone who claims to not feel the same ride his hand up my leg?! Or act seductive?! Or even look up my skirt!" You fired as Ben's heart skipped a beat. How did you know about that?

"I never looked up your skirt!"

"Oh, like you never had your hand on my thigh at Jabba's? Or like you never grabbed my boob and kept your hand there?!" Shaking your head, your frustration was getting the best of you. "Don't go around saying you don't like me and that I'm not your type when you do shit like that!" You cried out.

Looking around the field as you had been taking too long, Hux narrowed his brows. It shouldn't take you that long just to leave a bag in his car, so what was the hold up? Growing a tad bit worried, Hux made his way off of the bleachers and over to the parking lot.

"You know we can't have this friendship! It's not healthy to constantly fight the way we do! You can't go about kissing me and saying that the feelings aren't there! We are _both_ taken!"

"So you just want to throw this friendship out, like it's nothing?!" He shook his head, refusing to let you go _that_ easily.

"It's the only way to go! Ben, you're not making things any better! You keep sucking me back in! And for what?! Just to keep teasing me and playing with me like I'm your stupid play thing?!" Shoving him back, you cried out even more. "I am not a toy! I have feelings! I have emotions! I can't keep doing this and I can't be around you!"

Walking along the sidewalk, Hux heard bickering in the distance, the commotion catching his attention as his focus turned towards it. In the distance, all Hux could see was you yelling at Ben as Ben held onto your wrists.

Narrowing his brows, Hux darted over and instantly separated the two of you. "What the hell is going on?!" He shouted, only for Ben to send his fist against Hux's jaw.

"Ben?!" You shouted.

"What the fuck, Solo?!" Throwing a punch, Hux's fist slammed into Ben's face, instantly breaking the skin as he began to bleed.

Before you could even process it, it was a full out brawl. The two were fighting like vicious beasts, sending blows, kneeing one another in the stomach and kicking the wind out. "Stay out of it, Hux!"

"Stop it!" You exclaimed as the two continued to fight. "Stop it! Hux, stop!" Grabbing onto his shoulders to pull him back, his elbow came into contact with your jaw, you stumbling back

Seeing you get hit, Ben's eyes widened only to narrow up as he were seeing red. "Y/n?" Turning around and seeing you rub your jaw as the tears resurfaced, Hux was instantly knocked down.

Jumping back as the two fell in front of you. Ben was beating down, balled fist slamming against Hux's face. "Don't you dare hurt y/n!" Ben seethed as you began to panic, afraid to stop the two now as you weren't ready to get completely knocked out if you stepped in.

Not realizing it, a whole crowd had surrounded the scene, Poe instantly rushing to your side and pulling you away as one of the police officers watching over the event came over. "Enough!" The officer shouted, Rey rushing to your side along with Finn as Poe went to help the officer. "I said, enough!"

Pulling Ben away as the officer pulled Hux back, you and Poe exchanged looks. "You two are coming with me-"

"What?!" Hux shrieked.

"No one told you to start a fight during a school event!" The officer pointed as he cuffed Hux, another officer appearing and taking hold of Ben as Poe backed up.

Not even bothering to fight, Ben looked over at you and saw the now red mark on your cheek, only to be pushed away as he too had been cuffed. "What the hell happened?" Rey asked, watching her brother being taken away. "And what happened to your cheek?"

Standing there, frozen as you watched Hux being put into the back of a police car, you blinked. "They were fighting because of me..." You muttered, Rey looking at you and furrowing her brows as Finn had been holding onto your shoulders. "And now they're getting arrested."

"Whoa, don't blame yourself for their actions. Boys are stupid and get themselves into a lot of shit, okay?" Rey spoke as she now blocked your view, standing in front of you and nodding.

"Hux can't go to jail, it'll ruin everything for him..." You softly spoke as Rey narrowed her brows once again. Were you really worried about that? Not about the fact that you were hurt? "He can't...I need to bail him out-"

"Y/n, how are you going to do that? You can't just go over there-"

"I'll tell them what happened." You spoke to Rey. "Ben engaged it."

Blinking, Rey swallowed as she exchanged looks with Finn. "He, what?"

"Hux was only defending me. I need to go." Slipping from Finns reach as the police had already left the scene, you walked back over to Hux's car and decided to drive it to the station.

"What the hell is going on?" Rey questioned. "Did something happen while I was gone?" She turned to face Finn as he shrugged.

"Aside from Ben dating Lili? No..." Finn stated as Rey sighed.

"Then why the hell would Hux have to defend y/n?" Turning back to look at you leaving, Rey watched as the car drove off into the distance.

Continuously wiping away your tears as you drove to the police station, you took in deep breaths as your heartbeat was echoing in your ears. How did you allow things to get _this_ far? How did they even get this far? You never wanted any of this to happen.

Was it truly a good idea to have confessed? Or had that triggered all of this and made things worse?

Parking the car and sitting there, you took in deep breaths. Was it all worth it? The pain, the trouble, the screw ups? It seemed only as if things were only getting worse for you.

"I don't know what the hell your problem is, but you have no right to lay a single finger on y/n." Hux spoke through gritted teeth as he paced, Ben sitting there with his elbows on his knees, forehead shoved against his palms as his fingers tugged at his hair. "If you had dared to have-"

"Last time I checked, _you_ were the one who elbowed her in the jaw and harmed her." Ben interrupted, still furious about the thought but holding back from making any moves. It was enough that Hux's nose was busted (for a second time no thanks to Ben) and that he was being held. "I didn't harm her, _you_ did."

Snarling as he gritted his teeth, Hux looked over at Ben in disgust before turning his attention away. "You are completely useless. I don't understand as to why y/n was ever your friend in the first place, or even considered you one."

"Once you understand, please tell me."

"Are you being sarcastic with me, Solo?" Hux seethed as he shot a look at Ben.

"No, you asshat. I seriously don't understand as to how or why y/n considered me a friend." Looking at Ben as he kept his head down, Hux's brows narrowed. "Let alone, a best friend..."

"Well, after what's happened, I'm sure she has thought it through and realized her mistake." The red haired boy held his head high as he turned away once again.

" _Mistake_." Ben repeated. "Everything was a mistake." He muttered, feeling it all crash down onto him as he knew he had screwed up miserably. "I shouldn't have moved back."

"No shit, life would've been better without you, Solo." Hux scoffed as he then snickered, Ben tightening his fingers around his hair in annoyance and frustration.

Everything was getting worse and worse for him. He was the reason why you found yourself in the position you were in. He was the reason why you were constantly crying. In all honesty, Ben wouldn't be surprised if you hated him. At this point, he hated himself.

The one person he never wanted to hurt, he did. The one person he truly appreciated was no longer willing to be his friend. All because of his mistakes.

It was all the same mistakes, the constant lack of communication and the fact that he couldn't deal with confrontation. It wouldn't be a surprise if you completely wiped out Ben from your existence to the point you wouldn't visit his house and made Rey go to your own.

He had hoped he hadn't put any tear in your friendship with Rey. It was a shame she had a brother like him and it would've been an even bigger shame if you had grown distant with Rey all because her brother was a complete wreck. The least he could do is make sure you wouldn't stop being friends with his sister.

"Hux." Looking up as a police officer stood outside the holding cell, Ben sighed. "Someone's here to take you home." Popping up from behind the man, Ben's brows narrowed.

"Y/n..." Hux smiled, only to see you holding an ice pack to your jaw. You had to tell the officer that that had happened before the fight and that you had hit the door to Hux's car against it. You also told the man the two were fighting because of misinterpretation--Ben was 'showing you something' and that he was only holding your wrists because he was looking at your hands. It was a wild lie but the officer bought it.

As much as there was bad waters between you and Ben, you didn't want him in jail.

"Let's go, Hux." The officer nudged his head as you moved to aside, keeping your focus on Hux and not Ben as you couldn't even look at him. "You should thank this little lady, if not, I'm sure your parents would've approached you differently."

"Thank you, y/n." Giving him a single nod, you grabbed his hand and pulled him along, looking over at Ben for a moment as you couldn't hold back any longer.

Looking up at you, Ben gulped. Although he was hurt that you didn't bail him out, he understood why.

Leaving his sight, there was yelling in the distance, Ben's head turning as he recognized the voice. "Where is my son?!"

"Sir, he's-"

"I can't believe you're holding my son in a cell!" Hearing his fathers voice, Ben's head fell. Nothing good was going to come from this. "Ben?!" Looking up, his father was now standing there. "Get him out of there!" He demanded, the officer opening up the cell as Ben slowly stood up, trudging out with a sigh. "You're lucky I'm not doing anything about this." Han pointed a finger at an officer before pulling Ben outside.

Exiting the station and over to the steps, towards the parking lot, Han shook his head. "I can't believe you, Ben. You could've been put in jail!"

"Well, I didn't-"

"Well, I didn't?! Is that all you could say?! Ben, this is your second time dealing with the police!" Han nearly shouted through gritted teeth, the two getting into his fathers car. "Your sister had to get someone to tow your car home! What the hell is going on, Ben?!"

"I wish I knew." He breathed, sitting in the passengers seat and rubbing his face.

"What happened? Why were you in a cell? And why the hell did I see y/n walking out with an ice pack against her face?" Han questioned as he drove back home. "You didn't punch her, did you?!"

"Of course not!" Ben's voice raised. "I would never hurt her!" Looking at his father, he then turned his attention away. "At least not physically..."

"I don't know what is going on, all I know is this can not keep happening. Your mother was losing her mind and so was your sister. Your sister was worried about y/n! Y/n! What happened to her?! And why were you involved-"

"I fought Hux, alright?! I punched Hux to the point I almost broke his face because I'm a jealous fuck!" He exclaimed as his fathers brows instantly furrowed. "I fought the guy cause I can't stand him! I can't stand him being with y/n!"

Blinking as he turned his attention from the street to Ben, back and forth, Han's shoulders dropped. "Ben..."

"I fucked up, okay? I fucked up and that's all I ever do." He cried out. "And somehow I'm always hurting the one person I cared for the most..."

"This is all about y/n, isn't it?" Han questioned as Ben sighed. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Ever since I moved back, I've done nothing but hurt her. I don't mean to, I just...I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle my feelings, and when I think I do, I do something I regret." Wiping the newfound tears away from his face, Ben let out a shaky breath.

Never truly having a moment like this before, Han took in a small breath. Parking his car to a side, he turned to face his son as his hands were still on the steering wheel. "You like her."

"Of course, she's... _was_ my best friend." Ben spoke, looking out the window.

"No."

"No?" Looking over at his father as he narrowed his brows, Han sighed.

"You like her how I...like your mother. Well, maybe not _that_ much but that sort of attraction." Han added.

Staring at his father, he only looked down at his hands as he eyed his palms, seeing the calluses he received from his constant weight training. "I...yes."

Watching his son as he spoke apprehensively, Han lowered his hands from the wheel and nodded. "You have for a long time. Since you first met her."

"Yes..."

"That's why you didn't want to move..."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean to separate you from her-"

"It isn't your fault...we just naturally drifted." Ben muttered. "But that didn't stop my feelings for her..."

"I see."

"But that doesn't matter because I messed up. I messed up everything because I let my jealousy get the best of me." Rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes, Ben threw his head back and lied it against the headrest. "She makes my heart hurt. When I look at her it's like the stars are shining down on her, the whole world is nonexistent and it's _just_ her."

"She's so beautiful it hurts." Ben's voice faltered. "I love her."

Feeling his eyes widen, Han blinked. "You..." Unsure of what to say, he took in a breath. A sudden silence fell between the two, Han sitting there, pondering as Ben stared off into the distance, thinking about the fact that he did, in fact, love you. "Fight for her."

"What?" Turning his head to look at his father, Han nodded.

"If you love her, fight for her. Don't let this stop you. Listen to your heart. You've been thinking out of fear. As cheesy as this sounds, think from your heart. If you do love her, then fix things." Han spoke. "Maybe you've screwed up to the point she's hurting, but if you reach out and apologize for all that you've done, maybe she'll understand."

"Why would she understand if I broke her heart?" Ben shook his head. "She confessed to me and I declined it."

"Benjamin Solo, are you that stupid?!" Han shrieked as Ben stared in awe. "Sorry...but are you?! The girl confessed!"

"I know! But I'm dating Lili-"

"Lili?" His father spoke in disgust. "That annoying chick?"

" _Dad_..."

"Seriously, Ben? You're dating someone you have no interest in?" Shaking his head, Han waved his hands. "You need to fix this, you can't be with someone if you like-- _love_ \--someone else. You need to do what's right."

"But where would I even start?"

Placing a hand on his sons shoulder, Han raised a brow. "Kid, I think you know where."

. . .

It had been yet another uneasy night, tossing and turning with constant dreams that haunted you. Although the homecoming dance was soon, you couldn't even feel excited about that. The second you had taken Hux out of the cell, you told him you wanted to go home rather than the party--which, he respected, seeing as he was warn out himself.

Looking at your body mirror as you took in a small breath, patting down the pink, strapless maxi dress you had been in, you slightly shifted the choker that matched the dress. Sighing, you gently touched your cheek, flinching the slightest. At least your makeup was hiding the newfound black and blue on your skin.

"Y/n! Armitage is here!" Your mother called out, you looking over and calling back.

"Okay!" Turning your head back to look at the mirror, you gave yourself one good look before turning away, grabbing your coat and purse. In all honesty, you didn't even want to go the dance. You were only going because Hux had bought your ticket and Rey, Finn and Poe were going as well.

Making your way out of your room and down the stairs, you saw Hux standing there, in his suit as he had been speaking to your mother before the two looked over at you. "Oh, honey! You look beautiful!"

"Thanks." You simply smiled, walking down the last step and over to the two.

"You two have fun." Giving you a kiss on the cheek, your mother smiled.

"Where's dad?" You questioned.

"Oh, he's getting ready. Remember, we have that dinner with your aunt and uncle?" Shaking your head, your mom waved a hand. "Probably forgot to tell you. We'll be back later, possibly after you."

"Oh, okay." You nodded. "You two have a good time."

"Thank you." She smiled before you and Hux turned and walked off.

It was rather quiet between the two of you, actually, you had barely spoken to Hux since you last saw him. In all honesty, you hadn't spoken to even Rey. You barely touched your phone all day and didn't even bother speaking to anyone. You were still shaken up, so much had happened that your mind was still trying to process it--and it was clear that you weren't happy.

The entire ride to the school was quiet, you were quite glum. Your face was flat with emotions, not even a single smile or a look of happiness in your eyes. You just sat there, hands tucked into the pocket of your coat as you looked out the window. Here and there, Hux looked over at you, trying to start conversations but having them get nowhere. What did he expect when your boyfriend and once best friend were held by the police a day before?

"I'm sure tonight will be fun." Hux spoke up as he parked, you not realizing you were already at the school as you were too entangled in your thoughts.

"I hope." You muttered, Hux sighing the slightest and getting out; you sitting there, letting out a breath as Hux walked over to open the door for you. "Thanks." Standing up and looking over at the students walking into the school, you pushed some of your hair behind your ear before you interlocked your arm with Hux's own.

The night hadn't even started and you already wanted it to end.

"Ben, are you even listening to me?" Lili spoke up as the two walked along the sidewalk, Ben's hands deep into his slacks pockets. He was surprised he was even allowed to still go to the dance after the incident. Maybe his father did some convincing.

"No." He blatantly spoke, wearing a similar expression to your own.

"Ugh, you're awfully rude." She rolled her eyes. "I was asking you why is your lip busted and your knuckles bruised? Did you get in a fight?"

"Yes." Not even bothering to look at her, Lili shifted her jaw in annoyance.

"Are you seriously going to be dry all night? Its sickening, Ben. I'm your _girlfriend_. You're supposed to give _me_ attention!" She snapped, Ben not even flinching the slightest as he stopped in his tracks, seeing you in the distance walk towards the school entrance, Hux by your side. You didn't look too happy. "I moved schools because I thought you were lonely and this is my thanks?! You're unbelievable, it's like all you ever do is focus on that useless cheerleader!" Lili exclaimed as she noticed he was looking at you. "She is _not_ your girlfriend, I am!"

"Actually, you're my ex."

"What?!" Lili shrieked.

Looking over at her, Ben continued on before leaving her sight. "We're done."

"What the hell?! You can't just dump me! We just started dating!"

"I never really liked you, anyway." Walking on with his hands deep in his pockets, he made his way to the entrance, speaking without even looking over at her.

The second you had made it into the gym was the second you knew you wanted to leave. It was too loud, way too many people, and everything was too much for you. The entire night, you had found yourself sitting at a table alone, Hux disappearing to who knows where, occasionally appearing as he had been talking to friends. Then there was Rey, Finn and poe. The three constantly begged you to dance or do something, Rey even sitting with you for a good while until you urged her to join Finn and Poe.

It was safe to say you were sitting in your own pile of misery. It got to a point different people had asked you to dance: fellow cheerleaders, classmates, and even students you had never met before but clearly knew you. You wanted to go home, change into pajamas and wallow in your bed. You just wanted your sheets to consume you as you watched a movie and cried yourself to sleep.

You wanted to be alone, secluded and unbothered.

Sitting at his own table, taking a sip of his drink, Ben looked at you. You looked miserable, you sat with a slight hunch, a hand on the table as you played with the cloth while the other held your purse. Your focus was set on the cloth between your fingers, but your mind was clearly elsewhere. Ben hated how beautiful you looked and that no one was there to praise you and give you the dance you deserved.

Watching you take in a deep breath, you stood up from your seat and made your way out of the gym. Instantly standing up from his own, Ben rushed past the crowd and out the hall, seeing you walk over to the main doors.

Pulling on your coat as you walked down the steps, wanting some peace and quiet, you tucked your hands into the pocket of your coat as you stood at the bottom and stared up at the night sky.

Eyeing the stars as you took in quiet breaths, silently exhaling as your breath was visible no thanks to the drop in temperature, you found yourself at ease. Or, at least somewhat. The night sky was possibly one of your favorite sights nature had to offer. It was absolutely breathtaking and the sight of the moon glowing in all its glory made it all the better.

Pushing past the glass door, Ben saw you at the bottom of the steps, quietly making his way down to you. Coming to a stop, he swallowed as he eyed the back of you, you still gazing up at the dark sky.

Hearing the sound of someone clearing their throat, you slowly turned around, heart sinking at the sight of Ben--in his tuxedo, looking at you with a rather worn-out expression. "I'm not here to fight or argue with you, I just have a few things to say and I'll be out of your sight." Ben spoke as you quietly stood there. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about the hell I've put you through, I'm sorry for toying with your emotions without realizing how much it could affect you. I'm sorry for giving you so much pain. A real best friend wouldn't do any of that, I've clearly failed you." Gulping as Ben went on, you could feel your eyes begin to tear up.

"I truly am sorry for the shitty person I am. I've come to realize that it's best for you not to be my friend anymore, because if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I just need you to know that I regret everything I've ever done to you. _Everything_. I never meant to hurt you, those were never my intentions. But I've truly hurt you and I can't go on knowing that you're in such pain. Whether you accept my apology or not, you needed to hear it."

Looking up at him as your mouth stayed shut, you simply shifted your eyes from either of his own. "You have every right to...hate me, if thats how you feel. I promise you, after this, I'll leave you alone." Backing up, Ben turned around and walked off. "Oh, and please don't let this get in the way of your friendship with Rey. She doesn't deserve to lose a good friend like you."

Watching as he spoke over his shoulder, Ben then continued on, climbing up the stairs and leaving your sight.

Turning around and away from the school, you blinked away the tears as you sniffled. As much as he was right, and as much as he had caused you trouble, you never truly wanted to lose him. In the end, Ben Solo somehow integrated himself with you and became your other half. You just didn't know until now how bad it felt to watch a part of you leave.

Hearing footsteps, you turned back around to see Hux. "I was looking everywhere for you, what happened? Did Solo-"

"No, he didn't do anything, he just apologized for yesterday." You spoke. "Can you take me home? I'm sorry to cut things short, I just feel really out of place and uncomfortable."

Looking at you as his brows furrowed the slightest, Hux's shoulders dropped. He had planned to take you to a hotel that night and wanted to surprise you, but now that you wanted to go home and clearly looked disappointed, he knew he had to drop the idea. "Sure."

. . .

"And now, the moment you all--at least most--have been waiting for. The homecoming king and queen!" Phasma spoke into the microphone, Ben standing off to a side as Rey, Finn and Poe had been sat at the table you were once at, continuously hoping you'd pop up as they hadn't known you left. "This years homecoming king goes to..." Opening up an envelope, the crowd stood in silence, Phasma sliding up the note enough to see just the king. "Ben Solo!"

"What?!" Rey nearly shouted, Ben's head snapping up as his brows narrowed.

"Ben! Come get your crown!" Phasma waved her hand, gesturing for him to go over.

"Ben?" Finn questioned. "Was he even in the running?"

"I don't know, I didn't vote for the king." Poe shrugged. "I voted for y/n, I added her to the ballot. I didn't like any of the other options."

"So did I...I didn't vote the king, I don't really remember if Ben was on it...and I'm sure Ben didn't know, either." Pointing over to her brother as he awkwardly made his way up the stage.

"Congratulations." Phasma smiled at him as Ben narrowed his brows, unsure as to how he made it to be the king. "You deserve it." She winked, placing the crown on his head before moving back to the microphone. "And now, for the queen!" Hearing the crowd clap, Phasma lifted the paper even more and fought a grin. "Y/n l/n!"

"Wooo!" Rey instantly jumped up and clapped.

"Aha! I knew it!" Poe clapped as Finn had done the same.

"Guys, she hasn't come back? Do you think she left?" Finn asked as everyone cheered, Ben standing on the stage and searching the crowd, not seeing a single sign of you.

"Y/n?" Phasma spoke into the microphone, everyone looking around. "Does anyone see y/n around?"

Narrowing his brows, Ben turned to Phasma. "I think she left already."

"Great..." She muttered. "Well, on behalf of y/n, I'll save the crown and give it to her as we continue on the night with dancing!" Signaling for the DJ to start up the music again, Phasma turned to Ben.

"I'll take it to her." Ben spoke, reaching out a hand and grabbing the crown, instantly rushing off the stage as Phasma watched with narrowed brows.

Seeing her brother dart off, out of the gym, Rey blinked. "Did you guys-"

"Lets go for another round of dancing!" Poe grabbed onto Rey's and Finn's hands, dragging them onto the dance floor.

. . .

The second Hux had dropped you off, there was a sudden downpour. It didn't help that it was cold, but now that it was raining, it made it worse. Lying under your bedsheets, cuddled up against a pillow as Jupiter was curled up on near you, you watched a movie.

Although it wasn't ideal to watch The Shinning when you were home alone as it was storming outside, you did it anyway. It was October and you weren't really in the mood for any romance or comedies.

Watching as the main character [Johnny] axed through the door, you instantly jumped at the sound of someone knocking on your front door. "Dammit...who the hell would be at the door at this time with this weather?"

Standing up from your bed, tugging on the sleeves of your blouse, you slid your sock covered feet into your slippers and made your way out of your room and down the stairs. Hearing knocking again, you sighed. "Impatient..."

Shivering as your nightwear hadn't been enough, although you weren't in your usual shorts and tank top, rather long sleeve and pants, you looked through the peephole. "Ben?" You muttered, opening the door and feeling the heavy winds. "Ben, are you insane? It's storming!"

Eyeing the now soaking young man as he stood at your door way, you narrowed your brows at the sight of the crown on his head. "I know I said I'd leave you alone, but you and I, we were crowned homecoming king and queen-"

"Wh-what?" You spoke in awe, Ben pulling out your crown from being hidden behind his back as your eyes widened.

"I don't understand as to why I won or was even thought of, but you, I understand. Congratulations." He smiled, placing the crown atop of your head.

"I won?" Seeing Ben nod, you lightly gasped. "I wasn't even up for running..."

"Neither was I, but I guess people thought we were better than who was listed." He shrugged as you smiled, amazed how you had won, disappointed that you weren't there to accept it. "If you don't mind...could we have a dance? It's only fair seeing as its tradition...or, so I believe. It's the last thing I could give you."

"Yeah..." You nodded with a small smile. "I don't see why not."

"I don't really have anything to play so..." Pulling out his phone from his pocket, which was surprisingly not damaged from the rainwater, he picked a random song. "It's on shuffle so...it may be an odd-"

Hearing the song begin, you shook your head. "I think this one is fine." Pulling him inside your house as he placed his phone on the table near the front door, Ben took your hand in his as his other lied on your lower back.

"I'm sorry if I wet you...I didn't intend on being soaked but I had no umbrella..."

"That's fine..." You lightly chuckled. "I don't mind."

Swaying to the music as it hummed throughout the entrance of your home, you lied your cheek against Ben's chest as you moved along. After all that's happened in twenty four hours, you didn't expect something as sweet and simple as this to happen between the two of you.

Maybe it was a sort of goodbye? Maybe it was so you two weren't on such bad terms when Ben would leave your sight? The sad part was, you didn't want things to end, no matter how bad they got and no matter how hardheaded you two were. You wanted Ben to fight for the friendship and you wanted him in your life.

In the end, you still liked him.

"Thank you for the dance." Ben spoke as he separated from you. "Although I would've preferred to be dry, I'm glad we at least got to share this moment."

"Me too." Your voice came out soft as you had walked Ben back over to the front door.

"I'm sorry your night wasn't all that lovely...but at least you were crowned queen." He smiled as he walked out the door. "Goodnight."

"Wait." Grabbing onto his arm, you walked out. "I don't want to stop being friends...I think that's too hard to do, to just let go of everything." Turning around to look at you, Ben took in a breath. "I think we should fight for this friendship, like you said...we may not be the same as before but, at least won't lose each other."

Nodding his head, Ben fully turned himself. "I think we should." Looking down at your chest as something caught his attention, he hadn't noticed until now that you still wore the necklace. "Moonlight."

"Huh?"

"You're my moonlight...well, if you don't mind. I think it's better than cherry, seeing as that one didn't last and I only used it once." He grinned as you looked down at your chest, then back up at him.

"Moonlight...yeah, far better than cherry." You chuckled. "Well, your moonlight thinks you should go back to your girlfriend who's probably stranded at the dance."

"Oh, about Lili..." Ben spoke, rubbing the back of his neck as his face dropped. "We broke up."

"Oh." Your brows raised.

"I think it had to be done. The relationship wasn't meant to be and I wasn't feeling it." Nodding your head, Ben sighed. "Although I do feel bad about ending it before the dance, I feel a bit relieved."

"Wow...that's...something." Your eyes widened.

"Yeah...well, I'll let you be. I came here to give you your crown and dance. I'll see you at school." Ben waved as he backed up.

"Get home safe..." You waved. "Sunshine." With a wink and the sound of Ben's soft laugh, you watched him rush back to his car and getting soaked once again before you closed the door behind you. "Sunshine...how cheesy." You smiled to yourself.

Things were resolved again...but you wondered for how long before the next issue broke out.


	29. Ain't Your Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Ain't Your right by Sky Ferreira | Slight NSFW in the beginning but nothing drastic

"I fuckin' hate him!" Hux exclaimed. "Ever...since he moved...to D'Qar...he fucked things over!" Panting as one hand held tightly onto the headboard, the other kept him propped up. "If it wasn't for him...I wouldn't have this distance...between y/n and I!"

"Well...Ben isn't the only one to blame! Your bitch of a girlfriend...takes all of his attention!" Lili grunted as she held onto Hux's sides.

"She isn't a bitch-"

"Then why are you fucking me...instead of her?" Lili breathed as Hux had shut his eyes, thrusting his hips at an unsteady rate.

"Because..."

"B-because?!"

"Because she doesn't want it!" He nearly shouted. "She doesn't kiss me like she used to...we barely touch...what makes you think she'd want to fuck?!"

"You know why...ginger! She's-she's got it for Ben!" Lili spoke with a shaky breath. "I can't believe this...right when I got what I wanted!"

"We always can't be winners...now, can we?"

. . .

The entire car ride home, Ben had been shivering. It was a mistake to never carry an umbrella around, but, it wasn't a mistake running out just to give you your crown. At least he had his dance with you.

A heavy weight was lifted off of his shoulders--not apologizing, not confessing to his feelings, and...well, Lili. It felt great. After apologizing to you, Ben felt the slightest of better--although he would've preferred none of it to happen in the first place.

Never in a million years did he think he'd confess to his father about his love for you. The second he had said it out loud, he (not only) admitted to his father, but to himself as well.

He loved you, and it felt so liberating to say it and even think it.

Ben Solo loved you and he was going to do something about it. The _right_ way.

Spending the rest of his night writing poetry, to the point he woke up that Sunday to continue writing more, piles upon piles of paper were made, along with crumbled ones. He even slid the worthy ones into his personal journal that all the songs he had written for KOR in.

Every single poem was about you; your relationship with him or just you, yourself. Whether it rhymed or not, it spoke to him. It said so much in such an amount of lines. At this point, he could make a small book of all the poems he wrote.

Wiggling his pen in between his fingers as he sat at his desk, he rested his free hand on his thigh as he reread one of the many poems he had written. "Hmm...and she-and she the...and she my?" Scratching his head, he got a hold of his pen as he went to write. "Aha! And she, my moonlight." Finishing up the poem, he lied back in his seat.

"These feelings are celestial..." He spoke out loud. "This is so...space-y." Ben said to himself, realizing a grand majority of the poems had an astronomical reference in them. "Cosmic...cosmic feelings. No. Cosmic love? Nah..." Thinking of a title of the last poem he had written, he rubbed his chin. "Cosmic-cosmic...cosmos? Cos-"

"Could you keep it down, cosmic boy?" Rey spoke as she had shoved his door open. "Thank you." Shutting it, Ben's eyes only widened as he had looked over at his sister.

"Cosmic boy!" Ben exclaimed, instantly writing it down and shutting the journal.

Sitting back in his seat, content as he slid his pen behind his ear, he only narrowed his brows. What if he had given you a copy of that poem? What if that's how he'd confess to you?

Opening up the book again, he turned to the poem and stood up. Grabbing a copy paper, he placed it down beside the book as he pulled the pen away from his ear, copying down word for word.

"Yours truly...Ben." Signing it off, he smiled. Maybe _this_ would make things right. Maybe Cosmic Boy was what he needed.

That Sunday had been the most calming Sunday's you've ever had in the past weeks. It was quite relaxing, spending it with your family as your brothers had gone to visit for a few days. Although you claimed not to be excited, due to the fact you'd have to deal with their nonsense for a good four or five days, you were happy. You missed the two troublemakers.

"Oh man, remember that one time at the universities aquarium? The one in building eight that has like...a whole room filled with fish tanks?" Jay spoke.

"Yeah! The one that you thought it was a good idea to try and touch the eel?" Ty responded as you stood by the large tank, eyeing the schools of fishes along with stingrays and other aquatic creatures that swam around. Your parents--your mother to be exact--insisted you spend the afternoon at the seaquarium as a family. You didn't mind, although it was a bit childish, you enjoyed it.

"Have you two not grown up?" You asked as you had popped your head from behind Ty.

"The real question is, why are _you_ growing up so fast?" Jay asked as you rolled your eyes. "You're maturing too fast for your age group." The young man spoke as he crossed his arms.

Raising a brow, you walked around and stood in between the two. "I'm going to be turning eighteen quite soon, I hope you know that."

"In months." The two spoke in unison as you sighed.

"And in months I'll be considered legal." You poitned out as the two exchanged looks. "So beat it."

"Snappy, the little one has become." Rolling your eyes as the twins went on with their banter, you grabbed their ears and tugged them with you.

"Mom and dad have moved on to the next exhibit." Wearing a look as if you were unamused--which you were--you pulled the two along as they began to bicker.

"Aww, y/n, come look!" Your mother called out as you had let go of the twins ears, walking over to her. "Sea otters!"

Growing wide eyed, your head snapped over at the tank, seeing a pair of them diving into the water and swimming after one another. "Aw!" You nearly shrieked. "How cute."

"I don't know why, but it reminds me of you and Ben." She spoke with a smile as your brows instantly furrowed.

"W-why? Why not me and Rey or me and Poe?" You asked with a small, awkward laugh. Although things were on 'good terms' between the two of you, you clearly still had your feelings--and after what happened the night before--they only grew stronger.

"Because, you two are such a duo. I mean, you are with Rey and Poe as well...but you and Ben, you have such good chemistry." Quietly swallowing as you looked at your mother, the woman watching the two mammals, you turned your attention back over to them.

Overhearing the conversation, your father eyed you and noticed how stiff you had become, only to narrow his brows. He couldn't help but think about what Ben had said a few days back about him never having the chance to be with you. Which only made your father think, how did you feel about Ben? Obviously, he was unaware about your crush.

As for your mom, she knew but never said anything. She knew since the beginning but never bothered to approach the situation.

"Uh...yeah..." You lightly spoke, nodding your head. " _Great_ chemistry."

Viewing the rest of the seaquarium, you were looking around the gift shop, eyeing the mugs until a pair of stuffed otters were in your view. "Oh...Ben, what great chemistry we have!"

"Such great chemistry, y/n." Furrowing your brows as your brothers had been mocking your's and Ben's voice, you shook your head. "I think you should buy these two otters and give one to Ben." Looking over at Jay, you glared at him.

"You think this is funny, right?" You asked as he nodded. "So funny?"

"Super funny." He grinned as you shifted your jaw. "I mean, mom and dad are so oblivious to your cr-" Quickly covering his mouth, Ty only laughed.

"Oh man, they still don't know?!" The twin spoke as you instantly shook your head.

"Of course not! Hello, I'm dating _Armitage_." You spoke through gritted teeth, squinting your eyes at your brother.

"Oh, stars. Ermitage is still in the picture?" Jay asked as he removed your hand, holding your wrist.

"It's _Armitage_. With an A." You corrected.

"Like an arm?" Ty raised a brow as your shoulders dropped.

"Yes, like an arm. How many times do we have to go through this?!" Throwing your hands up as Jay had let go of your wrist, the two snickered.

"You should stick to simple Hux like everyone else...Armitage is...an atrocity." Ty shook his head as he couldn't hold back his laugh.

"Whatever, at this point, I couldn't care less." You simply shrugged, crossing your arms and turning around, walking away. Exchanging looks, the two instantly rushed to your side.

"Whoa, there's trouble in paradise, isn't there?" Ty questioned.

"Something's not right..." Jay added.

Screwing your eyes back as you wanted them to drop the topic, you walked on. "Nothing's wrong. There's no trouble."

"Clearly there is when you're in a relationship and like somebody else." Ty pointed out as you stopped in your tracks, thinking about Ben.

"Like I don't know that." Walking out of the store, the twins instantly tossed the stuffed toys back into the bin they were in before following after.

"What happened, something happened and you didn't tell us." Jogging up to you, Jay now blocked your path.

"You always tell us everything. What happened?" Ty questioned as you let out a breath.

Lowering your head, your rubbed your face. "I confessed..."

Growing wide eyed, the two looked at you in shock. "Wow...that's...brave of you." Looking up at Ty, your brother noticed how glum you had become.

"He doesn't feel the same..." You muttered as the two narrowed their brows, Jay nearly snapping.

"Well, he's a dumbass!"

"That's not the problem." You lifted a hand up. "He flirts with me and does things a person who supposedly doesn't feel the same _wouldn't_ do. He looks at me in ways a lover would, or someone who's infatuated would. He touches me-"

"Touches?!" The two echoed before you swatted a hand.

"Not like that! He touches my thigh, okay! He knows his limits...at least, _extreme_ limits." You mumbled as Jay glared. "And when he accidentally got a hold of my boob, he didn't let go when I looked at him...he just stared." Rolling his eyes back, Jay groaned as Ty raised his brows. "And...and he kissed me. Twice."

"TWICE?!" The two shrieked as you hushed them.

"The first time I had fallen on him and, as cliché as it sounds, we had accidentally kissed but he _kissed_ me. Legit moved his lips while I was still. The second time...he did it after we had argued and...and I kissed back." Looking down in shame, you covered your face. "I didn't mean to, I told myself I shouldn't do such thing...or anything, of that matter. I have a boyfriend, but I like someone else."

"A boyfriend who's just as good as trash." Ty mumbled as Jay nodded in agreement.

"That doesn't help..." You spoke into your hands as it muffled your voice.

"You're not meant to be with Hux, it's obvious." Looking up from your hands, Jay lied a hand on your shoulder. "You can't be with someone you don't feel for. At least, not anymore. You can't do that to yourself or them. You like Ben, you _clearly_ like Ben more."

"But he doesn't like me..." You frowned.

"That's clearly a load of bullshit." Ty scoffed as you blinked. "After all that you've ever told us about him, and what you said now, he either feels the same or he's just really stupid and doesn't know what being a friend is. And the latter doesn't seem to fit the equation so I'm going with the fact that he _does_ like you." Feeling your heart lodge up in your throat, you swallowed.

"Leave Hux, he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't even act like a boyfriend! He's more of a friend and Ben's more of a lover!" Jay pointed out.

"They should switch places..." Ty spoke over to Jay as his twin nodded.

"Do what is right for you. Do what you know you have to do." Poking your chest where your heart was beating, Jay continued on. "And listen to _that_ , cause it knows exactly what to do." Nodding your head, your brother kissed your forehead.

"Whatever you do, we'll support you." Ty ruffled your hair. "Just don't stay with Hux 'cause Ben clearly likes you." Letting out a small laugh, you nodded again. Never did you think your two hooligans of brothers would give you the best advice.

. . .

Waking up that next morning felt so different for you. A sense of happiness had washed over you as if the weights on your shoulders were no longer there. For once, you were more than excited to go school. Although you still had a problem at hand, you felt better talking to your brothers.

Smiling nearly the entire time you got ready, ate, and took your brothers car to school--which they surprisingly allowed you to drive--you parked in the schools parking lot and got out. It was hard not to smile, all you wanted to do was make things right. The only tricky part was handling the situation at hand, how were you going to end things with Hux?

Walking along one of the schools hallways, Ben held onto the envelope that enclosed his love poem. He couldn't help but grin at it, for once he actually felt excited about something. The thought of you reading it made the anticipation worse, he could only imagine your reaction.

Would you cry? Or would you hug him? Would you be happy or angry that he took this long to say something? Whatever it was, he was ready for it.

"Did you guys hear about y/n and Armitage?" Slowing down in his tracks, Ben overheard a conversation between two girls.

"About them renting a motel room and using it to have sex?" Clenching his jaw, Ben only turned around.

"Yeah, and that that's why they left early from the homecoming dance. That's why y/n wasn't there to accept her crown."

Feeling his face heat up, Ben's fist tightened, paper in his hold crumbling up. "Right. Someone said they saw them at that crescent moon motel..." Turning back around, Ben looked down at the envelope. "Apparently they were kicked out so they couldn't stay the night." At that, Ben crumbled up the envelope, tossed it into a garbage bin and stormed off.

Overhearing the conversation, Phasma walked over. "Don't you two have anything else better to do than spread useless and fake gossip?" She raised a brow, the two girls widening their eyes as they instantly apologized. "If I see you speaking about this to anyone, you better watch your back."

"We-we didn't! We heard it from someone else!" One of them panicked.

"We don't know how true it is! It's-it's probably not!" The other spoke frantically.

"If you don't want to see my bad side I suggest you two make this rumor come to an end immediately." Nodding their heads, the two rushed off. Looking over at Ben as he shoved past the crowd, Phasma walked over to the trash and pulled out the envelope, unfolding it and placing it in her binder. This was the last thing she wanted to happen. It was enough you weren't there to accept your crown and dance with your king...at least, as far as she, or anyone knew.

. . .

Although your day had started off great, it only dwindled as the time passed. Ben hadn't once spoken to you, looked at you, or even bothered to get near you. You weren't sure if he completely ignored the whole 'fighting for the friendship' and stuck to his original plan that was to leave you alone.

At first, you let it be. Maybe he was just giving you space, assuming that's what was best, but after a while, you grew concerned.

Chemistry was odd, Hux barely spoke to you, didn't even bother to interact with you as much. Now _he_ you weren't so hurt about. Maybe he realized the relationship wasn't meant to last forever? Whatever the case may be, you were too hung up about Ben to even worry.

Hearing the dismissal bell as you had been in study hall, you quickly stood up, gathered your things and told Rey you'd see her later. Maybe you could confront Ben and ask him if everything was alright? Or just simply say hello?

Rushing down the halls and not seeing a single sign of him, you had hoped you'd catch him before he had left the school grounds. Exiting the main doors and running down the steps, catching eye of him as you instantly recognized the back of his head. "Ben!" You called out, the boy stopping in his tracks as he instantly tensed up. He knew your voice too well. "Ben, hey." Slowing your pace as you walked up to him, your brows instantly furrowed as you saw how stiff he was.

His shoulders were slightly lifted, a small hunch in his back as you noticed his fists were balled up. "Is everything okay?"

Hearing a rather harsh snicker, your heart skipped a beat. "No. No, y/n, everything isn't alright." Gulping at the sound of his voice, Ben only turned around. "Nothing will ever be alright when shit is constantly getting in the way."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Don't act innocent, it's disgusting. After what you did, how could you even be that way?" He seethed as he glared at you, your heart now racing.

"Ben, I'm sorry but I-"

"You couldn't just save it for the right person? For someone who was truly worthy for you? For someone who would never let a relationship go to shit?" Hearing his voice raise, you lightly flinched. "No, you just had to go about and sleep with Hux!"

"H-huh?" Shaking your head, Ben moved closer, the proximity between you two growing small. "What are you talking about?!"

"Don't act stupid! How could you do that?!" He nearly shouted as your breath hitched.

"Ben, I-"

"He doesn't deserve you and you know that! Hux is shit to you! You deserve somebody better! But clearly _you_ don't know that when you gave your body up to him!" He rudely pointed his finger as you lightly gasped.

"Ben, what are you talking about?!"

"You left homecoming early and everyone wondered where you were. Too bad no one knew because you were out letting some piece of trash touch your body in a way not just anyone should! How could you allow it to happen?!"

"What-I don't know what you're talking about? Touch my body?! Hux never-"

"For crying out loud, don't fucking lie to my face!" He shouted.

"I-I'm not! I promise you!" You exclaimed, waving your hands.

"Yes, you are! You screwed Hux!" He yelled.

"No! I-I didn't! Ben, I swear!" Feeling your eyes pool up with tears, he shook his head.

"You fucked Hux and now everybody knows about it and you won't even own up to it, you _whore_." Feeling your jaw drop as a gasp left your parted your lips, your vision blurred. Watching him turn around and storm off, the tears began to stream down.

Who would be so cruel to spread such lie about you? And how could Ben, someone who claimed to be your best friend and the person you adored, call you such thing?

Turning around, a small group of people were now staring at you, you only panicking and rushing off. Wiping your tears as you ran to your brothers car, you could feel their eyes following your every move. You felt like your heart had actually ripped in half with how much your chest was hurting. How could he do this to you when he should've believed you?

Walking with fury as his chest heaved, Ben was about to go to his car, only to stop in his tracks. A part of the parking lot was near the football field, the bleachers not being so far off, so when Ben had walked along the sidewalk, he had a full view of the backside.

Narrowing his eyes at the two figures that were hidden behind the bleachers, he instantly recognized the red hair. Aiming toward the two, he realized what the red head had been doing. "You son of a bitch." Dropping his binder and schoolbag, he broke into a sprint.

Pulling Hux back by the collar and catching him off guard, ripping him off of--who he now realized to be--Lili, Ben slammed his fast against the boys face before the ginger could react. "How could you be this fucking cruel?!" Shoving Hux onto the ground, Ben sent blows to his face. "How could you do this to y/n?!"

"Ben, stop!" Lili yelled.

"Mind your business you fucking bitch!" He shouted over to her as he kept his focus on Hux, the boy trying to cover his face, feeling blood trickle down his nose--why was it that Ben always had to hit the nose the most?

"Ben, you-you can't do this! Stop!" She shouted as Ben only ignored her.

"You have the audacity to cheat on your girlfriend after you take her virginity?!" Ben shook his head as Hux only furrowed his brows.

"What...are you talking about?!" Trying to stop Ben, the boy was too strong for him.

"You took y/n to that motel and you screwed her! And then you cheat on her?!" Ben seethed.

From afar, Rey had been watching. At first, she had been looking for you as she knew you had cheer practice, assuming you'd be there and wanting to watch; but the second she saw Ben running across the grass and towards the back of the bleachers, she froze.

She had seen it all, from Hux being ripped away from kissing Lili to being forced onto the ground. Although she knew what her brother had been doing was wrong, she couldn't help but stay out of it--her best friends boyfriend cheated on her best friend, why would she prevent her brother from taking action?

"I didn't screw her!" Hux shouted back. "She wanted to go home so I took her!" Slowing his punches as loosening his grip on Hux's now bloody collar, Ben stared at him. "I took Lili instead." His voice lowered.

"Hux?!" She shook her head as Ben's jaw tightened.

"Then why the fuck is everyone talking about it?!"

"Because they're stupid and believe anything! They must've mistaken Lili for-" Punching him once more, Hux cried out.

"You-you fucking fucker fuck! Gah!" Ben yelled. "I fucking hate you!" Standing up, he pulled Hux with him. "I called her a whore because I actually thought it happened! I called her something she didn't deserve all because your hormonal fuckass had to cheat on her and cause the rumors to spread!"

"You...what?" Hux nearly whispered, Ben only tightening his grip and nearly lifting the man off of his feet.

"The real fucking whore here is you, and you know what you're going to do?" Ben gave the man a frightening grin. "You're going to make sure this rumors die out for your sake, because I'm pretty sure once word slips out that the person you were really with was Lili, y/n won't be happy."

"She doesn't need to know-"

"You're so fucking stupid, aren't you?" Ben snickered. "You know very well I'm going to tell her-"

"Why?! So you can be with her?! You honestly think she'd want to be with someone who called her a whore?!" Hux fired back.

"Of course not, but she deserves to know the truth. She should've dumped your sorry ass ages ago. You're pathetic." Ben seethed. "See to it that you make these rumors drop or I'm sure I can ruin your reputation like _that_." Snapping his fingers, Hux flinched.

Watching Ben shove off Hux as Lili went up to him and yelled, Ben instantly ran off, Rey looking over at her brother, then at the two. Seeing Hux clutch his bloody nose, Rey smirked the slightest. "You deserve it."


	30. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Seventeen by Marina and the Diamonds | Hux gets his just desert :)))

The entire drive home you couldn't stop crying, the tears constantly blurring your vision to the point you couldn't even see. Having to park the car to a side, you let it all out. You wailed out, clutching onto the steering wheel as you rested your forehead against it. Ben had become your world and somehow destroyed it.

You knew the tears weren't just from the name calling; if the name calling had been the only thing to happen, you would've been pissed and told him off. But so much was building up in you, so much pain and anger, anxiety and stress. So much sadness. It hurt.

The sensation in your chest was agonizing, you wanted to rip your own heart out. How could this have happened? How could you have allowed it? Life would've been so much easier if you never met Ben nor Hux.

Life would've been better if you were single.

After calming down the slightest, you made it back home. Luckily, no one was there as your mother had taken the twins out while your father worked.

What had started off as the best Monday only became the worst.

Taking possibly the longest shower as you had sat in it, crying away as you leaned your head against the wall, the water mixed with your tears circled the drain. It had easily been an hour, so after finally cleaning yourself, you walked out, haphazardly changing into pajamas and didn't even bother drying your hair. Wasn't like you were planing on going back to school anytime soon, not with the overwhelming gloom that took over you.

Getting in his car and immediately speeding to your house, Ben cursed himself out. He had felt so much regret, this time it being far more worse than any other before. He never meant to call you a whore, that was never his intentions. It was the fact that he was blinded with jealousy and rage, and the feeling that his heart was broken that you had allowed Hux to have you in such manner only made it worse.

Ben never wanted to hurt you, physically or mentally, all he wanted to do was love you. But all he ever seemed to do was the opposite. How have you not hated him at this point? All he was was a screw up, constantly ruining things between the two of you. Why did you still want him to be your friend?

It was a question that he constantly had that you never had the answer to. Why did you want him around after all that he had done? Even if you had liked him. Was it because you had some faith in him? Or were you falling so hard and so fast there was no time to recover or save yourself from crashing?

All he wanted to do at this point was tell you the truth, apologize and leave you be. He knew that he must've pulled the last string, he knew that this was the breaking point he could never recover from. But he needed you to know what Hux had done so you wouldn't hurt yourself any further.

Seeing as her brother had ran off, Rey rushed over and grabbed his things, darting along the sidewalk and snatching somebody's skateboard. "I'll give it back, I promise!" She called, stuffing Ben's binder into his bag before pulling it onto her back and skating along the sidewalk. All those years of learning (and by learning, she constantly stole Ben's skateboards) paid off.

Rushing along the sidewalk in hopes she'd catch up with her brother, although he was easily doing sixty on a thirty five speed limit, she tried her best and swerved past pedestrians and cars. Whatever was going on, she knew there was a chance Ben would need back up. Why else would you believe him on his own if he had told you that Hux had cheated on you?

Lying on your bed, completely drained as you had no energy to do anything, the tears continued to spill but there were no sounds. You simply lied on your stomach, the side of your head pressed against your pillow as the water from your wet hair seeped through the cover. Taking in small breaths, Jupiter quietly walked in and meowed, jumping on the bed and pressing herself against you, her fluffy fur coat rubbing against you.

Brushing your fingers through her fur, you let out a sigh. At least there was comfort in having a pet and knowing they'd never betray you. In the end, all you really needed was a pet (and your family and possible friends if they didn't make your life an emotional rollercoaster like Ben had).

"I bet being in love and all of that isn't hard for you...Kylo would never betray you." You spoke to the cat as if she could understand. "Though I don't think you'll be seeing him anymore..." Meowing back at you, you only let out a breath. "Sor-" Hearing heavy knocking and the doorbell ringing, your brows narrowed.

Slowly sitting up, you walked out of your room as the knocking grew louder. "Y/n!" Hearing someone call your name, you walked down the steps and trudged towards the front door. "Y/n! Open, please!" Stopping as you were about to grab the handle, you recognized the voice. "Please!"

Shutting your eyes for a moment, you unlocked and opened the door, seeing Ben standing there. "What do you want?" You snapped, Ben about to knock again only to see you standing there.

Freezing up in his spot as he studied you, his heart sank. Your eyes were puffy and red, tears were still streaming as your hair was a mess. It hurt him to see you like that and knowing he was the cause. "Y/n, I know you won't believe me, but Hux is cheating on you."

Instantly narrowing your brows, you were about to shut the door, only for Ben to stop you. "Believe me, I saw it! He did it twice-"

"You have the audacity to come to my place after making me cry and calling me a whore to tell me my boyfriend is cheating on me?!" Your voice raised in increments. "How selfish are you?! You have the balls to say some...some stupid _shit_ like that but not apologize?!" Firing your words at him, Ben blinked.

"Y/n, I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Ben. I don't want to hear it and I don't want to see you. I definitely do _not_ want to see you." Slamming the door shut, you turned around and felt the tears becoming more prominent as they grew heavier and flowed more.

Seeing the door slam shut in Ben's face, Rey took in deep breaths. Watching her brother stand on the porch for a few minutes, he rubbed his face and turned around, nearly dragging himself to his car as he looked as if a storm cloud hovered above his head.

Getting into his car and backing out of your driveway, Ben left. He knew, no matter how hard he tried, you wouldn't listen. Ben knew you had lost all your trust in him.

Dropping the skateboard on your front yard, Rey sprinted over to your door and frantically knocked.

Hearing the sound of a fist banging against the door, you groaned. "Go away, Ben! I don't want to see you!" Hearing the knocking continue, you huffed, wiping the tears and turning back around, storming back down the stairs and over to the front door. "I said to go-"

"Y/n..." Rey spoke as you had opened the door. "Please, listen." Seeing the pain in her eyes, your eyebrows furrowed. "Ben's telling the truth, you have to believe him."

"Not you, too-"

"Y/n, I saw it with my own eyes. Hux was kissing Lili and...and Ben saw it and..." Taking in a deep breath, she continued. "And he attacked him. Bad. I've never seen Ben be so angry."

Standing there in silence, you only swallowed. What were you supposed to say? Now that Rey was saying it, you knew it was true and that Ben would never dare lie to you.

Feeling your heart break even more, as if the events before made it rip up until it had a little, minuscule piece still attached, that part tore off. Why was everything bad happening to you?

"Y/n, I am so sor-"

"Thank you..." Closing the door, Rey stood there and watched you do so as her shoulders dropped. She knew things were bad on you, but what bugged her was the fact that you had been clearly crying before...why? Had Ben done something? Did you already know about Hux?

The latter couldn't be it because you slammed the door on Ben. So what was it? What did Ben do?

Turning away from the door, you felt the tears resurface once again, you bawling as your chest ached. Why did it feel like the world was always out to get you? No matter how much good happened, the bad outweighed it.

Trying to make your way back up the stairs, you only stopped halfway as you fell on the mid step, sitting there and crying into your hands. Not only had your own, so called, best friend Ben call you a whore, but your own boyfriend cheated on you with the one person you couldn't stand.

The sad part was, you were more hurt with Ben's name calling than Hux's action--and that said a lot. Although it still pained you that Hux would even think of doing such thing to you, you were more furious than anything. It felt like someone had ripped your heart out of your chest, tossed it onto the ground and stomped on it as you watched. If it wasn't for the the fact that you were so heartbroken, you would've been raging.

Not realizing how long you had been sitting there, nor had you noticed that Jupiter had found her way over to you and sat beside you, the front door opened. Walking in, your mother was followed by your twin brothers, only to hear whimpering. Doing a double take, your mother stopped in her tracks as she saw you. "Y/n?!" She nearly exclaimed, rushing over to you as your brothers looked over, brows furrowed. "Y/n, what happened?" Wrapping her arms around you as she pulled you into her chest, you sobbed.

"Everything's going wrong!" You cried out. "It's-it's like the world is crumbling and-and I can't hold the pieces together..."

Swallowing as your mothers concern consumed her, she gently rocked you. "Honey, what happened? What caused this?"

"So much..." Your voice lowered as you held tightly onto her shirt. "The one person I truly appreciate is breaking my heart!"

"Y/n, what did Armitage do?" She asked as your breathing hitched with your whimpering.

"I-I'm not talking about him!" Looking at one another, your twin brothers knew exactly where this was leading up to.

"Then, who?" Narrowing her brows even more, she only raised them. "Ben...what did he do?"

"It's what he _didn't_ do..." You gulped. "All we do is fight and makeup and I can't take it. My heart, it hurts...it _physically_ hurts. The pain in my chest is too much. Mom, I like Ben...I like Ben more than I've ever liked Hux but-but he just keeps screwing up and I don't know what to do!"

"Oh, honey..." Rubbing your back as you took in shaky breaths, your brothers made their way over.

"Wait, weren't you supposed to be at school?" Jay asked, you only looking up.

"Yes...but Ben and I had a fallout so I left." You truthfully spoke. "And then he came to tell me that Hux was cheating on me but I didn't believe him because I was so upset but then Rey came and proved him right!" Shutting your eyes as you cried on, the twins exchanged looks again, only to gasp as they shot looks at you.

"Wait, what?!" The two exclaimed in unison.

"Cheated?" Your mother questioned. "That son of a-" Cutting herself off, she took in a deep breath.

"It's like the universe doesn't want me to be with anyone..." You softly spoke, rubbing your eyes.

"Don't say that, these boys don't know what they're missing. You are such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. You are amazing. You're so smart, so very gifted in so many areas, you can sing and dance better than any of us can combined. You even have the biggest, most pure heart there is...and sometimes, sometimes you run into people who don't know how lucky they are to hold it. It will break, it's bound to happen, but you are strong and you've gotten yourself this far. I always knew Armitage wasn't good enough for you, but you liked him and I didn't want to get in the way even if I knew there was someone better." Looking up at your mother, you swallowed as your brows scrunched up. "Y/n, there will always be someone better. If Armitage doesn't realize how lucky he is, then...he isn't worth it."

Slowly nodding your head, you took in a deep breath. "That Hux is an idiot." Ty spoke up as your mother instantly glared at him. "What, it's the truth?"

"In all honesty, I'm sure Ben's been over more than Hux has...and that's a very small number." Jay pointed out.

"What are you trying to say?" You asked as you looked up at the twin.

"Nothing...just saying," Coughing to muffle out his voice, you narrowed your brows, "Ben's better."

"Huh?" You raised a brow.

"Nothing, nothing. Hey, do you want us to go take care of Hux? We know where he lives." Jay asked as you shook your head.

"No, he has a debate tonight." Instantly feeling a lightbulb shine above your head, you sat up. "Which, I should attend..."

"Are you sure? Don't you want to stay home?" Your mother asked as she rubbed your arms.

"I do, but, I owe him something." Wiping away your tears once more, you stood up. "I'll be back in an hour." Walking back over to your room, Jupiter followed.

"Oh man..." Ty grinned as Jay smirked, your mother narrowing her brows.

"What?" She asked.

"If I know my little sister, she has a hint of us in her..." Ty pointed out as Jay nodded.

"Oh, stars..."

. . .

Walking along the school sidewalk, aiming for the main entrance, you stuck your hands into your cheerleading jacket. It was rare to see you 'underdressed', wearing a jacket and jeans. Usually, for almost all of the debates you've ever attended, you've worn dresses or skirts that consisted light colors--not black on black jeans and sweater. You weren't in the mood to look good, you barely even did your makeup, just enough to make it look like you _hadn't_ been crying for hours.

Climbing the steps and entering the building, you made your way over to the auditorium, taking a seat towards the back and instantly making eye contact with Hux. You could see he had a few bruises on his face that were poorly covered. _So Rey was right_. Giving him a fake smile and wave, he looked at you in awe, awkwardly smiling back and waving--it was obvious he had been guilty.

"Phew..." Hux breathed to himself, turning his back away from the crowd as he fanned his face with the papers he was going to rely on for his debate. "She doesn't know."

Sitting back in your seat as you watched him, nearly glaring, you heard the debate teacher speak, introducing the two students as you simply stared at Hux with a small tilt in your head.

Never in your life, at least you couldn't recall, had you wanted to cause such harm to someone. But, you were going to keep your cool, you weren't just about to go up there and smack the living hell out of him. No, you were going to wait for the right opportunity and make a move.

Listening to the debate as it went on, you couldn't help but be lost in a daydream. All you could think about was Ben's anger and expression, the way he was so disturbed by the idea of you and Hux sharing an intimate moment. Why did he care so much? For someone who gave off mixed signals, he was leaning more towards being against his own words.

If he hadn't liked you like you had to him, and if you weren't his (quote on quote) 'type'...then why was it such a matter to him if you had or hadn't lost your 'virginity' to your own boyfriend?

Thinking back to the argument, one thing stuck out the most--the fact that Ben thought you could've been with someone better. Who would've that been? For sure, you weren't thinking about you 'losing' your virginity anytime soon, especially not to your so called _boyfriend_. You weren't one to really think about it all that much because you wanted to share it with someone you trusted and knew was worth it--even if that meant you'd have to wait. At the moment, it wasn't a priority, not with the life you had.

But, still, it bugged you. Why did Ben care so damn much about who you were willing to give it to?

Not realizing how long you had been lost in your thoughts, the debate had been over with, everyone standing and talking amongst one another as others made their way out. Standing up, you watched as Hux made his way out while talking to the classmate he was up against. Following them as they aimed towards the front of the school, you saw him shaking the other boys hand before patting his arm, waving goodbye.

Making your way down the steps, you took in a small breath before smiling up at him. "Hey, y/n. It's...it's a surprise to see...you." He spoke as you gave him a single nod.

"I thought I'd do that: surprise you." You grinned. "I haven't been to a debate in quite some time and thought I'd give you the support like the _good_ girlfriend I am." Seeing him shift uncomfortably, you only smiled at him.

"That's...that's very thoughtful of...you." He breathed, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, it's no problem. I mean, even though you barely went to my cheer practices or the games...wait, how many _have_ you been to?" You asked as Hux swallowed. "Hmm...there was that one time freshmen year, actually, twice. Then there was...I think, that one homecoming game? Oh, wait...that was just a few days ago!" You laughed as Hux took in quiet, deep breaths. "That's no biggie, I wouldn't expect you to find interest in your own girlfriend cheering. It's dumb, right?" You stuck out a hand as you spoke, Hux looking at it, then back at you.

"Uh...no, not dumb-"

"Don't lie, lying isn't good for you, _babe_." You emphasized as Hux blinked. "We have an honest relationship, you and I. Right?"

"Y-yes." He nearly choked.

"And, if we're being honest, then I've gotta admit..." Looking down, you only looked back with an unamused expression. "Your debates are a waste of my time. They're boring and pointless and I couldn't give a damn on what you think is right or wrong."

"What?" Hux questioned in confusion.

"But, that's okay." You smiled once again. "You know why?"

"W-why?" Raising a brow at you, you grabbed his tie and tugged him down, lips hovering against his own.

"Because you'll never, ever, see me at one again."

"Wh-" Before he could even finish, you sucker punched him, square in the nose. "Why does everybody hit me in the fucking nose?!" He cried out, clutching onto his already bruised nose--which had been covered in foundation.

Feeling your wrist and knuckles throb, you bit back the pain--and tears. "We're done. You and I are no longer a thing. And those pointless rumors of us having sex? I hope they're replaced with the truth that you cheated on me with Lili." You spoke through gritted teeth, not realizing a crowd had surrounded the two of you until you turned around and stormed off.

Clutching onto his nose as he could feel the blood resurface, eyes burning with tears, Hux cursed out as you walked along the sidewalk and over to your brothers car. Although you were still in pain, it felt liberating to punch Hux in the face--almost as if you had wanted to do that for a very long time?

Driving back home as you sat in silence, you looked over at the CD slot of the car, only thinking about the CD that Ben had burned for you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked away. Now that Hux was out of the picture and Lili was no longer with Ben...would you have ended up with Ben?

"No, because according to him you're a whore and you're not his type." You spoke to yourself, feeling the tears brimming in your eyes as you took in a shaky breath. "Why do I still like him so much?"

Making your way back home, you found yourself eating your dinner in your room--at least some as you had no appetite but you were starving.

Lying on your bed as you had no enthusiasm to do anything, you simply sat in silence, petting Jupiter as she was fast asleep beside you while tears continuously streamed down your cheeks. You were barely making any sounds, slight whimpers leaving your lips here and there, but you were mostly in complete silence.

Hearing a soft knock, your eyes slowly shifted from Jupiter, over to the door. "Y/n, can I come in?" Recognizing your mothers voice, you took in a small breath.

"Yes." Looking back over to Jupiter, you sighed. "You have it so easy."

Opening the door and walking in, your mother looked at the plate of food on your dresser. "You didn't finish your food..."

"I don't have an appetite." You spoke, lying there, head pressed against your pillow. "I tried, though..."

"I see...at least you did." She nodded, walking over and scouting your legs enough for her to sit. "How did it go?" She questioned, you lifting up the hand you punched Hux with. "Oh...it went _that_ way." Your mother raised her brows as you nodded. "Let me go get ice."

"It felt good." You said as she had stood back up. "To punch him, it felt good. Although it doesn't make up for what happened...I'm not as hurt about the situation."

"What do you mean?" She turned around as she had asked.

"I'm hurt, of course I am, I was cheated on...but not as hurt as I thought I would be. At least, should be." You nearly muttered.

"It's because you like somebody else now." Your mother pointed out as you let out a sigh. "You've always liked him, even before you started dating Armitage." Looking at your mother, you sat in silence. It was something you never really spoke about, not to anyone except for Poe and your brothers. "I could tell."

"Even when he was gone...I still liked him, not even knowing if I'd see him again." Feeling more tears pool up, you shifted your eyes away and over to Jupiter. "I like him a lot. But all we do is fight and make up, and...and I can't read him. I used to think I was the one person who could understand Ben Solo so well...but now? Now, I can't."

"Why's that?"

"For starters, he gives me mixed signals. He claimed I wasn't his type right in front of me...he even declined my confession when I had told him. Yet, the way he treats me and acts around me, it's like the feelings are _there_." Not knowing it, but right outside your door was your father listening in, thinking about what Ben had said about him not deserving you.

"He said that?" Nodding your head, your mother shook her head. "Boys...they can be so dumb." She sighed.

"Is it bad that I'm more hurt over the situation between Ben and I than Hux cheating on me?" You questioned, your mother shaking her head.

"No." She lightly spoke. "Like you said, you like him more than you had Armitage. That says a lot."

Nodding your head, you took in a breath. "I can't see him...not for a while." You sighed.

"Well, with the day you've had, I don't expect you going to school for a few days." Your mother spoke. "But, you will have to go back. I'll give you a few days off and I'll come up with some excuse for school. I don't need you going to school when you're like this, it isn't good for you or your grades. Of course, your health comes first...but, your grades are very important." She pointed a finger as you chuckled.

"I promise I'll go back in a few days, I just need time away from it all...and to myself. I haven't been with myself for a _very_ long time. Almost four years." You breathed.

"It's not so bad. Although I am married, having me time is very important. It's something you need." She nodded. "Let me get you some ice." Walking over to you, she kissed your forehead. "Remember, you are all you need, you are what matters. And, if the time should come that you find someone else, make sure they truly love you for everything you are. You are a true gift." Giving you a warm smile, you smiled back. "But, for now, you are the one person who can love yourself best."


	31. Prey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Prey by The Neighbourhood | guys............the ending of this chapter....

"It's been four days...four days since she last spoke to anyone." Rey paced in her room as Finn sat on her bed. "And by anyone I mean it. She hasn't spoken to Poe, Natasha, not even Ben. She hasn't said a word to anyone on the cheer squad or in theater. She hasn't even posted on social media! Which is odd because she's always posting on instagram and snapchat!" Rey exclaimed.

"After punching Hux and breaking up with him, I'm sure she doesn't want to see anyone." Finn spoke up.

"Wait, what?" Rey stopped in her tracks, backing up and moving in front of him. "Punching Hux? Breaking up?" Narrowing her brows, Finn nodded.

"She even mentioned how he cheated and everyone's talking about it...how have you not heard of this?" Finn questioned as Rey's shoulders dropped.

"Because, I've been so busy trying to contact her that I haven't payed any attention." Rubbing her face, Rey moved over and tossed herself on her bed. "No wonder Hux is being so hidden..."

"Did you know about him cheating?" Finn asked. "No one knew until y/n brought it up, but how would she even know?"

"I told her." Rey breathed. "Well, Ben had told her but she didn't believe him so I told her. She must've gone to his debate that same night and ended things..." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rey let out a deep exhale. "It all makes sense. But why won't she at least let me speak to her?"

"Maybe you have to _actually_ go over?" Finn looked over at Rey. "Maybe you need to be straightforward. You've been busy with band that you haven't had the chance to do anything, but now that you're free, you should go."

Looking over at Finn as she sat up on her elbows, Rey nodded. "Good idea..."

"While you do that, I should really do my homework. I spent study-hall in the band room." Standing up from his spot, Rey sat up. "Let me know if anything happens, I truly hope she's okay." Leaning in to kiss Rey's forehead, she nodded.

"I will." Waving goodbye, Finn walked out of her room, Rey instantly standing up and grabbing her keys.

Exiting her room, she only stopped and looked over at Ben's. For the past four days he was locked up in his room, and if he wasn't, he was only seen in school or Maz's. Rey wondered what happened. Why was he being so antisocial all of a sudden? Sure, he was already, but not to _this_ extreme.

Letting out a huff, she walked over and knocked on Ben's door. "What?" He called out, Rey lightly smiling.

"Just making sure you're still alive in there."

"I am."

Nodding her head as she turned around, ready to walk off, she only turned back. "Hey, you were right about Hux all along...as hard as it is to admit...I should've listened." Getting nothing but silence, she scratched the back of her head. "Thanks for beating the crap out of him."

Lying on his bed as he was staring up at the ceiling, Ben only blinked. A silence washed over, but he knew his sister was still there. Letting out a breath, he lied his wrist on his forehead, thinking back to that afternoon when he had beat the living hell out of the redhead. "I did what I had to do."

Smiling, she turned away. At least his heart was in the right place. "Yeah...you did." Walking away and over to the stairs, she gave his room one last look before going down the steps.

"Where are you going?" Leia asked as Rey hopped off the last step.

"To visit y/n. I haven't seen her in a while and I'm worried. I also miss her." She nodded as her mother gave her a halfhearted smile.

"Alright, I hope all is well." Leia waved as Rey walked off, exiting the house and taking her bike to your house rather than the bus.

For the past four days, your phone had been blown up with dozens upon dozens of missed calls and text messages, even notifications from your social media accounts. Why couldn't people understand that you wanted to be left alone? Hence, why you _ignored_ them.

At least your family gave you your space, here and there checking up on you making sure you were eating some food and taking care of yourself--which, you were thankful for. With the state of mind you were in, you couldn't really think much about your health. All you wanted to do was sleep and cry.

The Hux catastrophe wasn't much of a bother anymore. Actually, the only reminder you had was your bruised knuckles. Other than that, your mind was swamped with Ben. Everything you thought about was Ben. Your memories, shared moments, arguments-- _everything_. Your mind was being consumed by Ben and you couldn't escape it.

Little things reminded you of him: the side of your bed, your pool, the stars and night sky...even Jupiter. You knew how much Jupiter loved Ben and the reverse, which only made you want to keep Jupiter close.

Your heart called for Ben to a point it pained you. You knew he wasn't the one to fully blame about all the past fights, you were just as responsible. But the fact that he would stoop so low to call you a name hurt. It was your breaking point. It wasn't even the name, no, it was the fact that he thought so low of you. That--with all that had been going on--you'd think about sex and doing it easily. Even if it would've been with your (ex-)boyfriend of nearly four years. 

You were in a deep place. A dark void, a hole of emotions. The more you thought about Ben, the further you fell in.

All you wanted was peace of mind and a simple break from it all. At least now you were no longer with Hux, that was one thing off of your list.

Still, it didn't solve the issue with Ben.

What you hadn't known, with all the messages you ignored and didn't bother scrolling through, was that Ben was a part of them. He had called you a good dozen times, messaged you a bunch and even tried reaching out through direct messages. Of course, with you ignoring it all, you hadn't noticed Ben trying to speak to you.

As much as you regretted not believing him, Ben regretted going off on you even more. He had broken the truce and the friendship you two had.

Which only made things worse on him. Why did he constantly find himself deeper in his problems? They were at his throat, if not, higher at this point. If he hadn't been so stubborn and flat out _stupid_ , he wouldn't found himself in this mess.

But, it all tied back to his insecurities and doubt. He barely believed in himself and truly never had faith. He lacked in those areas. What he thought was him trying was actually him hurting himself. Ben was at an all time low and what bothered him the most was the fact that you hated him. Or so he _assumed_.

Leaving her bike in your driveway, Rey rushed over to the entrance of your house and knocked. Hearing the sound, your mother walked over and opened the door. "Rey? Oh, it's been a while!" Your mother smiled, greeting Rey.

"Hello." Rey smiled back. "I came to check up on y/n, do you mind if I go upstairs and see her?" Rey pointed up.

"Not at all, please, come in." Your mother gestured as Rey thanked her, making her way over and up the stairs.

"Rey Solo? Is that her?" Looking over and seeing the twins, Rey rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Ty and Jay." She waved. "Goodbye, Ty and Jay." Aiming to your room, Rey knocked on the door.

"Come in." You called out, sitting on your bed and petting Jupiter.

"Y/n..." Rey smiled, happy to see you.

Recognizing the voice, your head shot over, brows narrowing. "Rey? Why are you here?" You asked, instantly standing up.

"Uh, to see if you're okay? You won't answer my calls or texts..." She spoke in confusion, watching you storm to one of the drawers from your dresser, searching for something.

"I know, I'm avoiding everyone! Does no one understand that I need alone time?!" You nearly shouted, instantly pulling out the key you had hidden.

"What?" Rey nearly whispered, watching you slip your feet into your white keds, being in nothing but a hoodie and leggings.

"I want to be alone. I _need_ to be alone." You spoke over at her. "And I can't even have that in my own house." Rushing out of your room and down the stairs, Rey quickly followed.

"Y/n, I'm your best friend! You can't just block me out!" She called out as you darted.

"I want to be alone!" You responded, door shutting behind you as you left her sight, your mother only walking over as your brothers leaned over the staircase's railing.

"What happened?" Your mother asked.

"I don't know...but she can't be alone, not when she's clearly depressed." Rushing out, Rey pulled out her phone as she picked up her bike. "Pick up the phone..."

" _What?_ " Ben spoke as Rey rolled her eyes.

"Hello to you, too. I need your help." She spoke.

" _With?_ "

"Just meet me at y/n's house."

" _Why_ -"

"Just come!" At that, she hung up.

Waiting as she sat on her bike, Ben pulled up and got out of his car. "What is it? Why do you need me here?" He asked, trying to keep his focus on his sister rather than your rooms window.

"Y/n's gone. I tried speaking to her but she got all upset and stormed out!" She threw her hands up. "I have no clue where it is she could possibly go, can you help me?"

"How could you possibly think I'd know?" Ben asked as he shook his head.

"I don't know? You two are super close! Maybe there's a place you two go to or something?" Rey asked. "I mean, she had a key in her hand-"

"A key?" Ben instantly interjected as Rey nodded.

"Yeah-"

"Was it on a chain?" He questioned.

"Yes, why?" Rey asked as her brows narrowed.

"Because, I may know where she is." Walking back to his car, Rey only shook her head in bewilderment. "Tell the Kenobis and head back home."

"Ben, I should be the one to go!"

"Just do what I said! Trust me, I know where she is." Getting into his car, he instantly drove off, leaving Rey there as she sighed. She hated to admit it, but you and Ben were far more closer than she was with you.

Sitting on the bus as you pulled your knees in, key hanging around your neck, you looked out the window and watched the streak of colors go by. You never meant to snap on Rey, you hated being rude to her, but you needed to be alone. You couldn't be around anyone, not even her.

"Y/n?" Lifting your head up, you looked over. "Oh, it is you!" Seeing Alex, you lightly smiled as he beamed. "I'm so happy to see you, it's been a while."

"Oh, yeah...it's been quite the week. I needed it off." You nodded.

"Well, I'm glad to have bumped into you." He spoke, looking into his school bag, you just realizing his twin _wasn't_ with him.

"Why's that?" You questioned, watching him search through his stuff before pulling something out.

"Phasma had wanted me to give you something." Handing over a rather crumbled up paper, you took it into your hands, eyeing it with furrowed brows. "She said to make sure you open it and read it when you're alone." Looking back at him, he was now standing up. "Must be important."

Slowly nodding, you looked down at the paper, then back up once again. "What is it?"

"Not sure, just that Phasma urged I give it to you." He spoke. "This is my stop."

"The library?" You asked.

"Yeah, I've got some research project. I hope to see you Monday." He smiled before waving, you lightly smiling back. "Have a good afternoon." At that, he walked off.

Stuffing the paper into the pocket of your sweater, you sat back for the rest of the ride, waiting till you got to the hotel to read the paper.

You were curious. What would it be that Phasma needed you to read it on your own when you were alone? Was it something she wrote? Was it some sort of secret? Or was it a surprise? You were beyond curious that when the bus had stopped, you rushed out after thanking the driver and entered the hotel.

Taking the elevator to the top floor, you tapped your foot impatiently, watching the digital numbers flicker before it dinged. Seeing the doors open, you darted out and searched for the room.

The second you had found it was the second you barged in. Stopping in your tracks, you eyed the rather large room. A king sized bed to the left, a small living area and kitchen to the right as a wall of windows were in front of you--there even being a balcony. Shutting the door behind you, you pulled out the letter.

Unfolding it, you saw what looked to be a poem of some sort. "Cosmic boy..." You read aloud the title, eyes shifting down to the first line.

_This love I have is a universe of its own._   
_There are many celestial beings within it_ _;_   
_Some, beautiful. But, with beauty comes pain._   
_The black holes within our hearts cause a tear in the galaxy,_   
_An unforgiving battle of stubbornness and doubt._   
_The universe we share is a vast one filled with billions upon trillions of stars,_   
_Each representing the little things._   
_The supernovas are outbursts of the pain,_   
_The twinkling stars are the bright moments of the worlds happiness._   
_The galaxy's arms wrap around me like a blanket,_   
_A sort of a reminder that what we have is ephemeral._   
_Everything must come to an end,_   
_But what I feel for you is_ _n't_ _a dying star;_   
_It's a universe being born and creating its own galaxies,_   
_Creating its own star systems that are emotions._   
_But I can't do it alone,_   
_Because no matter how hard the asteroids hit and create craters in our friendship,_   
_Even if you may be the moon and taking in the hits,_   
_You are truly the sun_   
_And I, the moon (and the rest of the planets)_   
_Revolving around you_   
_Because you are my everything..._

- ** _Yours Truly, Ben._**

Watching as the letters began to smudge, the paper slid from your grip as you stood there, vision blurring from the tears that had formed from your revelation.

Ben had felt the same way about you, the _entire_ time. Or...so you interpreted.

Of course he had, and you were too blind to see that he was scared all along. Such a gentle yet strong feeling was very new to him that he couldn't possibly understand or know how to deal with it.

Wiping the tears, you picked up the paper and folded it back up, sitting it on the dresser in the room before letting out a breath.

It felt like a dream, maybe you were imaging it all? Or maybe you interpreted it differently? _That can't be it._

Phasma did say it was for you and it was signed off by Ben. You must've been right... _right_?

Walking over and out to the balcony to get some air, you stood there and eyed the town, taking in deep breaths as you shut your eyes. Maybe this was a sign? Maybe this was the answer to your problems?

Parking his car near the hotel, Ben rushed out and along the sidewalk, aiming towards the building. If you were anywhere, you were there and he knew he had to take the opportunity then and there to be completely honest about everything. To apologize and tell you how he truly felt.

Darting by people, Ben looked up at the hotel, instantly recognizing it. Just about to look away, he did a double take. There you were, leaning against the railing, dressed as if you had no care in the world with your hair up for once. Making eye contact with you, his eyes widened at the sight, you doing the same and only panicking, rushing back in.

Blinking, Ben broke into a sprint and aimed for the entrance, not even bothering to take the elevator as it would take too long.

Not knowing what to do as your heart raced in your chest, you shut and locked the balcony doors, frantically looking around the room and trying to think of something.

With the sudden revelation, you weren't ready to see him. Your heart and mind were all over the place, you weren't thinking straight and confrontation was _not_ an option at the moment. You couldn't possibly speak to him, not with the state of mind you were in.

But, of course, just as you had been panicking, there was a heavy knock on the door. "Y/n, let me in!" He called out as your heart throbbed. "We need to talk, please!"

Gulping, you stood still, stomach turning for the worst. "Y/n, I know you're in there! I saw you on the balcony! Please, just let me in!" Staring at the door, your brows scrunched up as you took in deep breaths.

You can't open the door, you couldn't possibly. If you had, it would all be a mess. "Damnit, y/n, let me speak to you! I need to get everything off of my chest!"

"Y/n, open the damn door!" Banging his fist, the 'neighbors' heard the outburst, walking out. "I beg of you!"

Thinking about how Ben almost got arrested the one time you didn't let him in, you rushed to the door and opened it, seeing him standing there, panting as he looked down at you. "What took you so long?!"

"Do you think I really want to see you? After you called me a whore?!" You questioned.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to call you that! I was upset, alright?!" He shrugged.

"I get upset and I don't call you a whore!" You pointed.

"You call me an asshole!" Ben retorted.

"That's totally different. Whore is worse than asshole!"

"And I said I was sorry!" He threw his hands up.

"Can you two keep it down?" A neighbor spoke, you and Ben looking over and snapping.

"Mind your own business!" The two of you exclaimed, causing everyone to go back into their rooms.

"Sorry isn't enough! All you do is hurt me, Ben! You hurt me because you can't be honest with yourself!" You cried out.

"I know that! I know that very well and I don't mean to hurt you, I never do!" He spoke, eyes being caught by something in the room, "What is that?" Barging in as you moved to a side, you watched him, eyes instantly widening.

"Ben-"

Seeing the paper, he opened it and gasped. "Where the hell did you get this?!" He pointed at it.

"I didn't get it! Someone gave it to me!" Shutting the door behind you, Ben's grip tightened around the paper.

"You have no right to have this! You shouldn't have read it in the first place!"

"Why?! It looks like I was meant to, like you were going to give it to me, so why does it matter all of a sudden?!" Crossing your arms, Ben moved closer to you as he glared.

"Because this is personal! This is something I wrote for myself! You-you weren't supposed to read this!"

"What do you mean?! Ben, I clearly was!" You shook your head, confused as to why he was reacting such way.

"No, you weren't! You weren't supposed to! Who gave it to you?!" He asked, waving the paper around.

"Alex! Alex said Phasma wanted me to read it on my own-"

"Alex? Phasma?" He spoke with a look of disgust, your brows narrowing.

"Why are you so overwhelmed? Why are you freaking out, anyway? It shouldn't matter-"

"Of course it matters!" He raised his voice.

"Why?! Why does it matter?! In the end, I was supposed to read it!" You questioned, glaring back at him.

"It matters because _I_ didn't give it to you! I didn't get to see you read it!" He shot back, clearly enraged.

"So?!" You shook your head, annoyed at how Ben was reacting.

" _So_?! So, I was going to hand it over to you and confess once you had read it! But then I overheard those two idiots and I couldn't give it to you, I crumbled and tossed it!" Ben admitted as you instantly rolled your eyes, you not realizing he said "confess."

"Well, that was a dumb move because somebody found it!" You pointed at the paper in his hold as his grip caused it to wrinkle even more.

"And they had no right to!" The more Ben yelled, the more visible his veins in his neck appeared.

Tossing your hands up, you rolled your eyes, "Oh, give it up! They did and I read it!"

"For fucks sake, y/n!" Ben groaned, just about to rip the paper, only for you to snatch it away in time.

"What the hell, Ben?!" Holding onto the paper, Ben tried taking it back.

"Give it to me!" He demanded, reaching out as you moved the paper away.

"No! Don't you dare rip it! I would never forgive you!" Shoving him away, Ben gritted his teeth.

"Oh, like you don't already feel that way?! I called you a damn whore!" He yelled, still trying to grab the paper as you forced him away.

"Why?! Why would you call me a whore if you don't feel the same?! Why would you call me a whore if I'm not your type?!" You asked as you hadn't realized you were crying again, the tears staining your cheeks as they trickled down.

"Because! Because I thought you had slept with Hux!" Ben exclaimed.

"And why would you have cared? Huh?! Why do you care who I sleep with!" You cried, shoving him back.

"Because!"

"Because, what?!" You snapped.

"Because, you can't just sleep with anybody!" He fired as you narrowed your brows.

"What are you talking about, Ben?! Hux wasn't just anybody! He was my boyfriend!" You corrected.

"Exactly! He didn't deserve you! He didn't deserve to see or have you in that way!" Ben threw his hands around in emphasis.

"Oh, like you'd know who deserves me!" You narrowed your brows, now crossing your arms.

"I do! I actually do!" He shrieked.

"Who, Ben?! Who actually deserves me?! Huh?! Tell me!" Shoving him again after unfolding your arms, you clenched your jaw. "Who the hell deserves to have sex with me if it isn't my own damn boyfriend?!"

"Me! I do!" He blurted, you only lowering your hands as you blinked. "I deserve to because I am the _only_ person who'd treat you right! I am the only person who understands you! I am the only person who truly knows you!"

"Deserve to? Treat me right? Are you kidding me?! You're joking, right? You just went off on me about a damn poem I wasn't supposed to read when it's clearly about you and I!"

"Yes, because I didn't want just anyone to hand it to you!" He insisted.

"But, why?!"

"Because I wanted to give it to you myself! I wanted to see your reaction first hand and confess no matter what!" He admitted as you narrowed your eyes.

"Confess to what?!" You shook your head.

"That I fucking love you!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, as if for the world to hear, instantly stunning you as your eyes widened. "I can't hide it anymore and I don't give a shit if you hate me now. I love you, y/n, and it's about fucking time I do something about it." Feeling your mouth fall open, Ben's hands latched onto your face and pulled you into a kiss as your eyes fluttered.

He had said the same three words Hux had said to you plenty, but when Ben had, your whole body wanted to melt at the sound. Your insides twisted in a manner they've never before. The beating of your heart had quickened after skipping a few and the butterflies that escaped from their cage swarmed in your stomach. Ben had said the three words you've always wanted to hear from him, yet, never knew.

Because, in the end, Ben loved you and never knew how to deal with it.

"I love you, y/n, and I am not allowing myself to fuck this up anymore than I already have." He muttered against your lips before your eyes fell close, Ben professing his love continuously before you finally kissed him back. "I love you and I am _in_ love with you."


	32. Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Into You by Ariana Grande | Warning: NSFW

A moment like this was only found in your dreams. Ben kissing you so hungrily as if he had been craving you for so long--which he had--you kissing back with just as much force. You wanted this. You've wanted it for so long and you didn't even know how bad you had until the second it was happening.

Ben felt so needy and so had you. His hands moved over to your hips, lifting you up as your legs wrapped around him, hands holding onto his face. You didn't want to stop kissing him, all you wanted to do _was_ kiss him. Finally, after so long, after all the problems, you finally got what you desired and so had Ben.

You couldn't help but smile against it, after everything that's happened, you found yourself kissing the one person you knew you belonged with. The one person you should've been with since the beginning.

"I'm sorry." Ben apologized into the kiss. "I'm so sorry about everything." He spoke again in between kisses. "But I love you so much...that I won't let my fears prevent me...from getting what I want."

"Good." You responded. "Because I want you just as bad."

Removing your hands from his cheeks, you took off the sweater you had been in, leaving you in just your bra. If Ben hadn't seen it before, he was sure he would've flipped. But, still, the sight of you in a bra was able to make him weak in the knees. The simple sight of you in a plain black bra was enough to make his mind run wild.

Was this really happening? Had this been a dream? Was he dreaming? It couldn't be, not when it felt so real and you were right there, happy as ever.

He so badly wanted to love you in all the right ways, in all the ways his heart wanted to. He wanted to give you the world and all he had to offer. Ben wanted to give you it all...even _himself_.

"I want to have all of you, y/n." He spoke, loosening up your hair. "In ways Hux couldn't." Nodding your head rather eagerly, Ben's heart skipped a beat. "Do you want me?"

"Yes, of course. I want this and I want you." You breathed, Ben gazing at you in disbelief.

"I promise...I will make it worth it." At that, your heart fluttered. As much as Ben wanted to tear right into you, he'd rather cherish every bit of you. He wanted to make you feel like a goddess, to feel like you were in the clouds and that you were beyond worthy.

He wanted you to feel a way you've never felt and that possibly nothing else could ever top.

He wanted you to feel him in ways your voice couldn't possibly express the sensation.

Moving over to the bed and lying you on it, he removed your shoes as you lied on your forearms, taking in quick breaths as your heart throbbed. You weren't scared, in all honesty, Ben was possibly the only person you wanted in such manner. Actually, you were excited. You were anticipating it all and your heart couldn't take it.

Looking back over at you, Ben was caught in a gaze once again. He was going to have you in a way he's only ever _dreamt_ about.

Staring back at him with such admiration, Ben moved over to kiss you again, you smiling against it as you kissed back. You knew he was nervous. He didn't want to screw up in any way. "It's okay..." You gently pushed him back. "You'll be fine." Looking at him as you held his face, you kissed his cheek as he nodded. "If you don't want this n-"

"No, I want this." He quickly interjected. "I absolutely want this...and I can't wait any longer."

Smiling as you watched him, Ben moved to your leggings and slid them off ever so slowly as if unraveling a gift.

His heart was racing and his mind was all over the place. He couldn't believe he was going to see you in ways no one else ever had.

His whole body was trembling in anticipation. Ben's pants were growing too tight on him, he felt like he had been suffocating, restricting himself from being free. It didn't help that he was so hard for you, the sight of your underwear made him tremble in excitement.

"Fuck..." He breathed, seeing the pink underwear. Had it been the same one from that moment back at school? They did have lace. " _Fuck_."

Watching Ben as he practically stared at your underwear, you stifled a laugh, finding it rather cute that he was in awe.

Snapping out of it, he pulled the rest of the leggings off of you, seeing your bare legs and sucking in a breath. Every bit of you, every inch of your body was so beautiful in his eyes. He couldn't believe he was able to touch it all, let alone, _see_.

Quickly removing the sweater he had been in, kicking off his Vans and tugging down his sweats, he stood there in his boxers as your own breath hitched. As much as Ben gawked over your body, you had done the same with his. It was absolutely breathtaking and you wanted to lick it. _Weirdo_.

"Are we just going to stare at each other?" You questioned, clearly staring at his bulge as Ben had stared at your cleavage.

"For a little bit." He spoke. "Your body is absolutely beautiful...I'm amazed I haven't fuckin' jizzed."

" _Ben_..." You rolled your eyes as you laughed.

"Sorry, but, you're so gorgeous...I can't believe this is happening to me." He said, still staring as you only sat up on your knees, resting a hand on the back of his neck.

"Well, believe it, because I'm all yours." Pulling him into a kiss, you tugged him onto the bed, Ben lying a knee at a time as he gently lied his hands on your hips, shivering at the skin to skin contact. If that wasn't his weakness.

It all felt so surreal, for the both of you. By the way Ben had been kissing you back you knew he had been wanting this for a _very_ long time. You just wished he had said something in the first place.

Moving away from the kiss, Ben shifted them down your chin, along your jaw and down your neck. Smiling to yourself, you never expected Ben to be so gentle with you. In all honesty, you excepted him to be more impatient and jump you; but you loved the surprise, it made it more exciting.

Gently pushing you down, Ben continued kissing your skin, finding the sensation addicting. His lips were magnets to your body, he couldn't move away, he didn't want to. He wanted to show you the love and praising you missed out on, he wanted you to feel like a queen being worshipped.

Leaving a trail down your chest, in between your breasts and stomach, Ben came to a stop. "What?" Lifting yourself to be sat on your elbows, Ben just stared at your underwear.

"I...nothing..." Lowering his head once again, he kissed your thighs, you blinking only to smile.

"If you're wondering, it is the same underwear." Watching him stop kissing you as he slowly lifted his head up, you chuckled.

"W-what?" Ben nearly choked, you simply grinning at him. "S-same...underwear?"

"Mhm." You nodded as he swallowed hard. You knew? How did you know? Did Poe tell you? "It took me a while to realize, but I had put two and two together." Staring at you, dumbfounded, Ben's mouth fell open. "I had a clear path and you were nowhere in sight when I first started. Plus, if you saw me coming, you would've moved. Then I realized I hadn't worn shorts that day and that my underwear would be exposed..."

"I-...underwear? Exposed?" Ben questioned, asking as if he didn't know.

"Ben, I almost broke your nose because you were staring at my underwear. That's why you were so out of it the whole time." Letting out a small laugh as Ben stared at you, you only shook your head. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you."

"I'm...sorry."

"No, you're not." You chuckled as you shook your head.

"Can't say that you're wrong." Nearly tackling you, Ben attacked your face with more kisses as you laughed, the ends of his hair tickling your skin.

"You're such a perv, my dad was right." You spoke in between laughs as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I should've worn the shirt today." He muttered against your skin.

"It's pointless, it would've been on the floor already." Flipping Ben over so that you were straddling him, his eyes widened at the movement. "What? You can't be the only one doing all the loving." Kissing him, Ben lied there, eyes wide to then flutter close as he held onto your face.

Moving your lips against his own sloppily as the kiss had been all over the place, either of you taking in air every chance you got, your hands glided along his bare arms and chest. Moving one of them down his torso as your other kept you propped up, your fingers slid over his abs and stopped at the elastic of his underwear.

Feeling your hand stop, Ben's brows scrunched up, the desire to move your hand a bit lower was eating him alive. He wanted to grab your wrist and just move it himself, being the impatient person he was, but he didn't want to force you to touch him like that.

Grabbing onto the waistband, you tugged it the slightest as Ben's heart skipped a beat, your hand gently brushing over his bulge as his brows raised, yours doing the same as you grinned against the kiss. Placing either of your hands underneath his jaw as you kept kissing him, you shifted yourself enough to sit on him, feeling the pressure in between your thighs as your heart fluttered.

Not even realizing what you had been doing as the sensation took you over, you began to rock your hips against him, breathing growing heavier each time you separated from the kiss.

Clutching onto your thighs, nearly digging his fingers into your skin, Ben separated from the kiss as he moaned, you grinning and moving your lips to his neck and then collar bone. "Fu...fuck...y/n, this isn't even...the real shit and I've wet myself."

"Ben..." You muttered against his skin, still thrusting your hips. "We haven't even gotten to the good part."

"What...are you talking about?" Unable to open his eyes, Ben furrowed his brows. "All of this, everything...it's all the good part. You fuckin' _made_ me wet myself."

"That's because you're a horny idiot." You chuckled, kissing his soft skin. "Who's never been laid and dreams too much about it while he touches himself."

"I-I do not!" He detested as you laughed.

"Whatever you say, my love." Moving your hair back as it fell to a side, Ben couldn't take it anymore. He felt embarrassed that he was already wet before anything really happened. "As long as-"

"Y/n, I can't wait." He interrupted. "I need you now." Nearly shoving you off of him, you watched him get out of the bed, grab his sweats and pull out his wallet as he opened it.

"Ben, what the-" Seeing him rush into the bathroom, you sat there confused, only for him to emerge moments later and rush to the bed. "What was that for?"

"Protection, of course." Raising your brows, Ben instantly shoved you down. "Are you sure you want this?" He asked, looking down at you.

"Yes. Who else would I want it with?" You softly spoke, Ben's heart skipping a beat.

Gazing down at you, he swallowed. "Anyone but me...but, okay..." Giving you a kiss, carefully moving his lips against your own, he gently bit your bottom lip as you grinned.  Lowering his underwear as he shifted your own, Ben slowly moved himself into you as your breath hitched. He was careful, he didn't want to put too much shock into your body, but he was excited.

Panting as your breathing grew staggered, your eyes were wide as your mouth fell open, hands holding onto his back as Ben's were propped.

Letting out moans with every shift of his hips, Ben’s own sounded in sync with yours. It felt like your insides were about to burst, the sensation moving about you each time he thrusted. Then, there was Ben, grabbing fistfuls of the bed sheets, clenching his jaw as his head hung. He tried his best to keep his focus on you, to watch your face contort, but not even he could handle it.

Digging your nails into his back, eyes fluttering, Ben kissed your shoulder. Lifting himself up to look at you, his heartbeat stuttered. The look on your face was precious, something he had only imagined. The way your eyebrows scrunched up, eyes wanting to fall close as your lips parted with every moan, Ben couldn't believe he was experiencing it first hand. It was far better than his fantasies.

Changing his pace, he let out a disgruntled sound, grip growing tighter around the sheets. "Fuck..." Ben grunted, voice faltering as he squeezed his eyes shut. Forcing yours to stay open, you looked at him, moving a hand away from his back and onto his cheek.

Feeling your hand, Ben opened his eyes and looked down at you; you looked rather angelic to him. He wanted the moment to last for as long as he could, to feel you more, to tremble against you and kiss your soft skin. This was something he'd never thought to be _real_. "Ben..." You lightly moaned, eyes closing for a moment.

Leaning down, he kissed your chin, then your lips, your own moving rather slowly against his as if your focus was solely set on his hip movements. "Mm..." Gliding his tongue against your own, your hands moved onto the back of his head, fingers entangled in his hair. "This is real...right?" He muttered against your lips, you grinning.

"Very...real..." Brushing your fingers through his hair, your hands moved onto his upper arms, palms sliding down and grabbing his wrists. "Hyperreal." Interlocking his fingers with your own, Bens lips moved to your chest, breath hitching against your skin.

Kissing your chest and the parts of your breasts that were exposed, he let go of one of your hands and lied his own on your stomach. Shivering at his touch, his hand glided up the side of your body and traced your bra, lying on one of your breasts.

Feeling his fingers twitch against your skin, you lied your free hand on top of his and squeezed it for him, an instant moan leaving his lips. Giving you small squeezes, kneading your breast, your hand held onto his wrist.  

Knowing either of you didn't have much time, as the two of you were reaching your peak, Ben's pace quickened. Moving his lips along your neck, he licked and nipped your sensitive skin as you let out a small noise.

Unable to hold back your loud moans as Ben's heavy breathing echoed in your ear, his free hand held onto the side of your face, lips pressing against your neck as you couldn't breathe properly.

Holding onto the back of his neck, tugging at his hair, you felt your insides tingle as Ben vibrated against you.

Trying so hard to last as long as he could, Ben's hand slid from your chest and moved into your hair as he rocked his hips a few more times before he couldn't go on any longer. His legs were trembling and his body couldn't take it--and neither could yours.

Letting out a lengthy moan, Ben slid out, leaving one last kiss against your neck as your underwear fell back to place. "I'm sorry..." He breathed, removing and tossing the condom before fixing his boxers. "I couldn't last all that long."

"Don't be...I couldn't either." You smiled. "I didn't expect us to." Lightly laughing, Ben grinned as he gazed down at you. Leaving a sweet kiss against your lips, he moved to lie beside you.

Pulling you into his chest as Ben tried catching his breath, you rested against him, a bright smile on your face. Brushing his fingers through your hair as you lied there, you lightly frowned as realization had hit you. Sitting up, you looked down at him. "Ben..."

"What? What is it?" He quickly asked, worried.

"We can't be in a relationship...not yet. I just ended mine a few days ago, I don't want people thinking anything..." You said, your index finger moving along his chest as you watched it, Ben looking at you, only to lie a hand against your cheek.

"That's fine by me...I can wait a little longer." He smiled at you, you looking at him and feeling your heart ache. "I mean, at least now you know the feeling's mutual."

Shaking your head, you leaned down to give him a kiss, wrapping your arms over his shoulders as he held your waist. "This doesn't mean that we can't kiss in secret." You muttered against his lips with a grin. "I'm up for sneaking around if you are..."

"You better fuckin' believe I am."

. . .

"I think we should get going, it's getting late." Finding either of you underneath the sheets as Ben had lied his head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat while he had an arm wrapped around you, he sighed. "I don't want my parents worrying, it's enough I didn't bring my phone."

"Oh, don't worry, I told Rey to tell your parents. The second I saw you I texted her." Raising a brow, you tapped his cheek.

"You sly guy." Sitting up, Ben looked down at you. "As much as I'd love to stay in bed with you for the rest of the evening...I'm hungry and I need to take another shower." You chuckled.

"You can shower here! And we can eat here!" He nodded.

"Ben..."

"Right, your parents-"

"And my brothers are home."

"What? No way?!" He exclaimed as you nodded. "They know, don't they?"

"Know what...?" You anxiously asked.

"About us, everything." Sighing, you nodded. "Of course!"

"Hey, I wasn't going to suffer alone! I wanted to tell Poe as well but I'm sure he had you to deal with!" You pointed a finger as you now sat up.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, at least you can go to your siblings." Rolling his eyes, you only grabbed his hand.

"Hey, soon enough you can go to Rey. She'll understand...eventually." You shrugged as Ben narrowed his eyes.

"Eventually, as in ten years, if that!" He spoke dramatically as you shook your head, moving your hands onto his face as you sat on your knees.

"Ben, she'll open up. She's just gotta get used to the fact that her best friend and brother are destined to be with one another." You spoke as you looked into either of his eyes, shifting yours.

"Destined?" He sniggered as you blushed the slightest. "Aw, you really like me!"

"Ben, shut up, I just had sex with you for my first time." Rolling your eyes as you dropped your hands, Ben only grinned. "Of course I really like you! Don't make me change my mind-"

"No!" He shook his head, now holding onto your face. "Please, no. Don't even tease."

Smiling, you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Ben was too cute and you couldn't help but fall harder and harder when you thought it couldn't be possible. "Ben, how long have you liked me?" You curiously asked.

"Since the moment I laid my eyes on you." He spoke in all serious, your heart fluttering as he looked at you so longingly. It was true, Ben had liked you ever since you knocked him down. "I think it was love at first sight."

"Ben..." Lowering your head as you blushed, you pushed his hands away and held your own cheeks.

"What? I'm serious!" He chuckled, holding your wrists and tugging at them. "I really do. I fell so hard the second my eyes had met your own. My heart felt like it stopped and I almost forgot to breathe. We were only, what? Thirteen then? We're seventeen now, almost eighteen. Y/n, I've loved you for almost five years. Five, maybe four, and I never stopped. Not when I moved and not when I found out you were with Hux." He truthfully spoke as you slowly looked up. "I actually didn't know it was love until a last week...the homecoming game, actually."

"What?" You nearly whispered.

"When my father bailed me out, we spoke in the car about what happened and...and I confessed. It just came out, like water out of a new faucet. I realized that I loved you and that's why I acted such way. Because Hux didn't deserve you. He wasn't man enough. And then I realized how much I fucked up and ruined everything because I was scared-"

"Ben..."

"I was scared because I had never felt such thing for anyone before. Not that Daniella girl and definitely not Lili. You and only you. It's always been you. And I'm sure if I had met you sooner, it would've been longer."

" _Ben_." Your shoulders dropped as your heart throbbed. It felt like your heart was popping out of your chest as your eyes turned into hearts like in the cartoons.

"I love you, with every part of my soul. I love you like the moon loves the stars and the sun loves the morning sky. I love you like the ocean loves its waves and the plants love air."

"Ben, stop..." Feeling your eyes water up, he only continued on.

"You are my world, my everything. My universe. I want to be your world. I want to revolve around you-"

"Ben, please..." Wiping away the tears that slipped as you smiled, Ben gently moved your hands away.

"I love you, to infinity and beyond."

"Okay, Buzz Lightyear, you're making me cry." Feeling his thumbs rub away your tears, he wholeheartedly smiled at you.

"I love you, moonlight." Gulping as you looked at him lovingly, Ben just gazed at you as if you were art.

"I adore you, sunshine." Pulling him into a kiss, you wrapped your arms around him as his hands moved onto your lower back, holding you close. "I wish I would've known since the beginning..." Separating from the kiss, you rested your forehead against his own. "Because the second I laid my eyes on you...I felt it, too."

Feeling his heart lodge up his throat, you moved to nuzzle your head in between his neck and shoulder, leaving a small kiss. "You did?"

"Mhm..." Moving his arms to wrap around you, he held you tightly. "And I never stopped."

"R...really?"

"Yes."

"Then...why did you date Hux?" He asked as you sighed.

"Because, I wanted to forget you. I wanted to get over you. Ever since we lost communication, I believed that was it, that it wasn't meant to be that I'd be with Hux. But then, you came back, and I knew...I knew that wasn't true. The second I realized who it was that I bumped into...I knew that things were going to be different." You breathed, shutting your eyes as you rested against him. "And I was right."

"I never meant to put you through hell, I really didn't. I just...I was so jealous and I couldn't do anything. Not when you were taken. And then the guys asked if you were the one and I had to lie because I didn't want that to ruin our friendship. If I knew you liked me, I would've never said it. Y/n, you are the definition of my type. You are so perfect in my eyes." Feeling his arms tighten even more around you, you did the same. "And then when you confessed...I so badly wanted to tell you the truth, but I couldn't. We were both taken and I didn't want to ruin a relationship. Even if I felt the same."

"It ate me alive, knowing I could've had you but turned you down. It ate me alive that I knew you were hurting because how much of a dick I was. It pained me all those times you cried because of me. Y/n, you have no idea how guilty I felt for treating you so terribly. I never meant to hurt you. All I wanted to do was love you."

Swallowing, you slowly opened your eyes. "And you are now." You spoke. "Now that I know everything, why things happened the way they had, I understand. I never wanted to lose our friendship, you meant too much to me. But I had liked you so much that my heart couldn't take seeing you when you didn't want to be mine. It hurt to see you with someone else...that's why I avoided you. I couldn't take the reality of it all. I wanted you so badly but I couldn't have you." You confessed. "I didn't want to be with Hux any longer, he wasn't good enough. He should've done better, but he didn't."

Hearing your words, Ben blinked. "Ben, all I ask of you is to treat me right. To love me and to appreciate what we have. To not take it for granted and use my like a trophy. Just love me and I'll do the same for you."

"Y/n, you don't know much that's all I want to do. In every way possible." He responded. "I want to be successful in places Hux failed. I want to love you to the point that I go numb."

"Ben," You chuckled.

"Okay, maybe not that far...but I'm already engulfed in you and there's no turning back. You'll have so much love from me that you're going to grow sick and tired of it and leave me-"

Lifting your head up, you frantically shook it. "N-no! No way, Ben, I don't think you'll every exhaust me with your love. By all means, love me as much as your heart desires. As long as we fight every once in a while." You waved your hand as Ben narrowed his brows. "We need a balance of some sort, you know. It's only normal to have small fights here and there. We can't always agree on everything."

"I can't promise you anything, I've got nothing but love to give. I'm done with fighting." Holding onto your waist as you held onto his shoulders, you leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Well, lover boy, you're just going to have to wait a bit to prove it." Winking at him, you lowered your hands.

"No worries, I'll definitely show it to you when no one is around." Smirking, he leaned forward and pulled you close, you grinning as he kissed your neck. "It'll be our little secret."

. . .

"I'm going to cherish this." Looking at the crumbled up paper in your hold as you sat in Ben's car, parked next to your house, you turned to face Ben. "You must have more poems."

"I do, in a book, but that one is my best because it's about you. Actually, almost all my poems are about you. Same for the music..." Gasping, you shoved his arm.

"This whole time I've been basically singing about myself?!" You looked at him as he nodded with a small laugh. "That's...amazing."

"Oh, don't be conceited, now. Not all songs are about you-"

"But _some_. That's good enough for me." You winked. "I really want to hear them live."

"Haven't you?" He asked as you only raised a brow. "Oh...you mean one on one." Nodding your head, Ben took in a deep breath. "Y/n, if I sing to you I'll be too nervous to even focus."

"It's okay, just imagine its like a concert." You shrugged. "You wouldn't even have to look at me."

"But I want to...they're about you and I want to dedicate them to you." Slightly frowning, Ben looked at you with slump shoulders as you chuckled.

"Okay, then do it. Serenade me."

Eyeing you, Ben took in a small breath. "Okay."

"Well, I have to go. My parents must be going out of their minds." Going to open the door, Ben only called out.

"Wait!" Turning to face him, he had a hand up. "Tomorrow, do you...do you want to go on a date with me?"

Having the sensation of your heart skip a beat spread throughout your chest, you nodded your head. "Of course."

Smiling like a fool, Ben watched you turn around and open the door. Snapping out of it, he leaned over and grabbed your arm, you turning your head to look at him as he latched onto your chin and kissed you. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," You kissed back, then getting out of the car and shutting the door behind you.

Sitting in his own pile of mush, as if he melted from the ton of intimacy shared between the two of you the last few hours, Ben couldn't help but grin like an idiot. His heart was beating so fast and the butterflies in his stomach were vigorous. Ben felt as if he were in some sort of haze, high off of your attention and admiration along with his own towards you.

He couldn't believe any of the was happening.

He was yours and you were finally his and that's all he ever wanted.


	33. Knew Better/Forever Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Knew Better/Forever Boy by Ariana Grande

The sound of the front door opening easily caught your parents attention, heads turning in its direction as they watched you walk in. "Y/n?" Your mother called out, you shutting the door and looking over at them. "Are you okay?" Hearing the softness in her voice, you nodded, only to run up to the two and engulf them in a hug.

"Don't scare us like that again, alright? You nearly gave me a heartattack!" Your father exclaimed.

"Sorry...I just needed to be alone and talk to Ben." You truthfully spoke, although you weren't going to tell them where you went or what _exactly_ happened. They'd murder you.

"Rey told us..." Your mother responded. "What happened?"

"Well, we spoke and...he told me he loved me." Smiling into the hug, unable to hide it, your mother grinned as your father simply stood there. "In a way Hux had said to me but I never felt the same."

"But you feel the same for Ben, huh?" Pushing back to look at either of them, you nodded. "I always knew it..." Shaking her head, your brows furrowed.

"You...did?"

"You did?" Your father repeated as he looked at her.

"Of course! A mother's intuition, I could tell, ever since that first day in eighth grade when you brought him I knew you liked him! It was obvious to me...but when he moved, and you got all sad and then ended up with Armitage, I knew he wasn't the one you really wanted. No matter if you liked Armitage before."

"Yeah..." You looked down in shame, your mother only lifting your chin up.

"Hey, what matters is that you'll be with the one you truly want. Armitage didn't deserve you, Ben does. And you clearly want to be with Ben." She kindly smiled as you felt one growing on your lips.

"I really do..."

Watching the two of you speak, your father took in a deep breath. "It makes sense now, the way he looked at you. I always thought he was just checking you out-"

"Oh, he was," Your mother confirmed. "But, most of the time, you could tell he was admiring her." She grinned while you felt your stomach tingle as butterflies formed, unable to hide your blushing.

"It also makes sense when he said he didn't deserve you..." Your father added as you blinked.

"He...what?" You questioned, your father only shaking his head.

"Uh, nothing-"

"Ben really likes you," Your mother interjected as you nodded.

"Yeah...Ben really likes me... _loves_ me, actually." You chuckled, heart feeling so filled that it wanted to explode. "Which is why he wants to go on a date tomorrow."

"Already?!" Your mother shrieked out of excitement, you laughing.

"Yes, I told him we won't be anything official since I left Hux a few days ago and he understood. He said he didn't mind waiting a little longer..." Blushing even more, your mother held back a scream as your father lightly smiled.

"Whatever makes you happy, I support." Your father stated. "And if it's that perv Ben, so be it."

" _Dad_..." You shook your head as he laughed. "Well, I'm hungry and tired and I want to get a decent rest for tomorrow. I have no idea what he has planned." Kissing them goodnight, you made your way to the kitchen and grabbed some food before walking back to the staircase.

"Love you." The two said in unison.

"Love you, too." You smiled before disappearing to the second floor.

Leaving your plate on a table near the staircase, you walked over to your brothers room, pushing the door open and hearing grunting. "Really? You're listening in? You could've just gone downstairs."

"We didn't want to invade-"

"We thought it was a moment-"

"Shut up and hug me, you idiots." Opening your arms, the twins towered you and pulled you into an embrace.

"I told you she'd end up with Ben." Ty spoke as Jay rolled his eyes.

"I knew it since day one."

"Okay, I get it, everyone except dad wanted this to happen before I did." Shoving them away from you, you turned around, grabbed your food and walked off. "Sheesh, you should've said something, then I wouldn't have to have dated Hux." Leaving their sight, the two exchanged looks and shook their heads.

Entering your room, you lied your plate down and nearly tackled Jupiter as she lied on your bed, pulling her close. "Oh, Jup...you should be happy now, you no longer have to see Hux." You breathed as she meowed.

Lying there with Jupiter on your chest as you were on your back, you turned your head and saw Benny the bunny. Gently placing her back down, you stood from your bed and walked over to the chair that had the Bunny.

"Where it all started..." Holding the ugly Bunny, you only smiled, walking back over to your bed and placing it by your pillows. Eyeing your bed, Jupiter moved to lie against the bunny, making you smile. "You'll get to see Ben again, soon. I promise."

. . .

"What's this?" Peaking into the little basket, Ben instantly swatted his mother's hand away. "Ben, what are you up to?"

"Nothing!" He exclaimed, frantically moving around the living room, searching for a blanket. "Where's the damn blanket?!"

"In the box next to the TV stand." Leia pointed, looking back into the basket and seeing food and drinks amongst flowers. "Is my Ben going on a date?" She asked, Ben grabbing a blanket and rushing over.

"Wh-what?! No!" Stuffing the blanket in, he grabbed the basket. "Where'd you get that idea from?" He nervously laughed.

"Benjamin, are you back with that-"

"No way!"

"So, then, who?!" Leia asked, watching Ben grab his keys.

"Someone..." Before he could walk off, Leia grabbed his ear and pulled him down. "Ow, mom!"

"There's a reason why you have big ears and it's for moments like this!" She scolded as he frowned.

"Mom...seriously?"

"Oh, relax! I love them, they're cute." She swatted with her free hand. "Who is it that you're going on a date with?"

Sighing, he mumbled, "Y/n..."

"Who?" She asked again, unable to hear.

"Y/n!" He nearly shouted.

"Y/n?!" She tugged his ear accidentally as he winced. "Sorry...did I hear you right? Is my son actually going on a date with the girl of his dreams?!" Leia shrieked as Ben nodded with a sigh.

"Yes, mom-"

"Oh, how wonderful!" She exclaimed, letting go of his ear and pulling him into a hug. "It's about damn time."

Letting out a deep breath, he hugged his mother back with one arm. "I know...I'm just surprised she actually said yes..." Ben responded, fighting a grin. It was unbelievable, the fact that--after everything he's put you through--you actually _still_ wanted to be with him. "But I'm happy. Very happy. I'm glad this is happening."

"So am I..." Leia smiled, letting go of her son before patting his stomach. "I don't want to hold you back any longer, you have a date!" She squealed in excitement for her own son, causing Ben to laugh. "Have a great time, sweetie."

"Thanks," He smiled back, just about to walk off, only for Leia to rush over and stand in front of him.

"Wait! What are you two going to do? Where are you going to go? Are you going to lake Naboo...?" She grinned, a mischievous look taking over her expressions.

"No, although y/n really did love it when I took her-"

"You took her?!" Leia exclaimed as Ben nodded. "Aw, did mom meet her?"

"Yeah, nana loved her." Ben blushed as Leia tried so hard to hold back her wide grin.

"Oh, this is wonderful...I can't believe this is happening!" She clapped. "Everyone's met her except for two people! Actually...four, but Bail and Breha are stars knows where with all their traveling." She waved a hand. "But your grandfather would sure love her!"

"Yeah, and K-" Hearing his phone ring, Ben cut himself off. "Excuse me..." Placing the basket down, he looked at his phone and instantly smiled as your image popped up on the screen. "It's her."

"Oh! I must be holding you back, go...go!" Leia shooed, Ben answering the phone as he picked up the basket. "Have a lovely time! Love you!"

"Thanks, love you, too!" He waved before leaving the house, Leia standing there and placing a hand on her chest. It was about damn time her son did something.

Nervously biting your thumb as you eyed the mirror, hearing the phone ring, you suddenly heard Ben yell into it " _thanks, love you too!_ " Smiling at the sound, you turned away from the mirror and sat on your bed. "I don't remember saying I love you?" You teased.

" _Sorry, my mom was saying for us to have a, and I quote, lovely time_."

"I hope so, I mean, I'm sure it'll beat any date I've ever had with Hux." You chuckled, watching Jupiter walk past your feet. "Hey...I was wondering, maybe I should come over one of these days since Jupiter misses you and Kylo."

" _Jupiter?_ " Ben questioned. " _Don't you mean you?_ "

Smiling even more, you fell back on your bed and messed with the ends of your hair as you looked up at the ceiling. "Uh...no."

" _Well, Jupiter can come anytime she'd like. Kylo and myself miss her visits_."

"I bet you two do." Taking in a deep breath, you turned on your stomach and looked at the stuffed bunny. "I haven't been in your room in a while, where'd you put the big bunny I won?"

" _You mean y/n/n? It's in my closet_ -"

"Ben..." You glared as if he could see you.

" _Alright, it's on my bed. At least, when I fix it...when I don't it's on my_ _chair_."

"Don't lie, you cuddle with it." Grinning as you grabbed onto Benny the bunny, you turned back onto your back.

" _No_..."

"Ben, it's okay, you said it yourself: you cuddle." You chuckled as he sighed into the phone.

" _Okay, maybe sometimes. Sometimes. Only when I can't sleep_ -"

"Which is like...every night-"

" _Shh...no it's not_."

"Hey, wait, are you driving?" Hearing silence, the faint sound of music played in the background. "Ben! Don't be on the phone while you're driving!"

" _You called me!_ "

"You could've told me you were driving." You shook your head.

" _I wasn't when I picked up, now I am_."

"Look, I'll see you when you get here, I don't want you getting pulled over or into an accident, okay?" Sitting up in your spot, Ben let out another sigh.

" _Alright, see you in a bit_."

"Bye, sunshine." You smiled before hanging up.

Looking at his phone for a moment before placing it down, Ben took in a deep breath, lying both hands on the steering wheel as he smiled. He really wasn't anywhere near being a 'sunshine', but if that's what you wanted to call him to go along with his moonlight, so be it. He appreciated it.

"Y/n!" Your mother called out as you stood up from your bed and walked to your door, opening it.

"Yeah?!"

"Don't you have an overnight field trip next week?" Walking over to the staircase to look at her, your eyes widened.

"I almost forgot!" You exclaimed as your mother shook her head. "It's three days, two nights...I must've been so busy I forgot."

"Well, I suggest you pack tomorrow so you don't have to worry about it later since it's on Wednesday."

"Right...will do! But, uh...maybe after I go to Ben's?" You smiled at her in a way you hoped she wouldn't mind.

"A date today and tomorrow? You guys really like each other-"

"Mom, it's not a date tomorrow...it's just, hanging out. I haven't been over in a while..." You spoke as your mother smirked.

"A _date_."

"Okay, _maybe_." You crossed your arms on the railing. "But I don't want us rushing into anything...I don't need people being suspicious."

"Honey, I'm sure everyone knows you two are best friends. They wouldn't suspect a thing." She shook her head as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh...but what if they know about Hux? A lot of people saw what happened..." Letting out a sigh as you slumped forward, your mother shrugged.

"So? Doesn't stop you two from being best friends." Slowly nodding your head, you then pointed at her.

"You are very right..."

"This is why I am the mom."

Shaking your head, you heard your brothers bedroom door open. "Oh, someone's all dressed up...does she have a date?" Jay asked as you rolled your eyes.

"Obviously, she told-" Smacking the back of his twins head, Ty winced. "Hey!"

"It's sarcasm, you idiot!"

"You two..." Your mother raised a brow, only to hear a sudden knock on the front door. Jumping in your spot, you ran into your room.

"He's here!" You yelled, grabbing your purse, and rushing back out of your room. "You two, be cool..." Pointing a finger to either of your brothers, you then darted down the stairs as they rolled their eyes.

Seeing your mother open the door, Ben was standing there. "Oh, hello, Ben!" She greeted, giving him a cheek-to-cheek kiss. "Come in! Y/n should be-"

"I'm here!" You spoke breathlessly, making your way to your mother and then smiling at Ben. "Hi..."

"Hello," He smiled back, looking down at you as you tried so hard not to squeal.

"Ugh, just kiss!" Ty and Jay called out from the staircase, you looking over and up at them as you glared.

"Hello, Ty and Jay." Ben greeted, the twins making their way down the stairs as you groaned. "It's been a while."

"Oh, it has..." Jay spoke, studying Ben. "He isn't that little dweeb anymore..." He whispered to his twin as Ty nodded in agreement.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed Ben's hand, "I think we should go..." You spoke as Ben turned his attention from the twins, down to you.

"You two have a good time, don't bring her back too late!" Your mother pointed as Ben nodded.

"Of course, she'll be home before ten." Ben spoke as you held back a smile, the twins still mumbling to one another. "Have a good afternoon," With a bow of his head, Ben then walked you out of your house.

"Are you sure that's Ben?" Jay asked. "He's...tall and...not scrawny anymore..."

"He's like, what? Six foot?" Ty questioned.

"Six-three..." Your mother corrected as the two raised a brow. "What, y/n's mentioned it before..."

Moving over to the passenger seat to open it for you, you stood there and watched him. "So, I was thinking-" Before he could even finish, you pulled him down by the collar of his jacket and kissed him, Ben being caught off guard for a moment to then kiss you back.

Now that you two were together--at least on the down low--you were definitely taking advantage of the fact that you could _actually_ kiss him. In all honesty, you _loved_ kissing Ben, his lips were perfect. "Sorry..." You chuckled against the kiss, only to move away as you looked up at him. "I just...I get excited." Looking down as you blushed, Ben only grinned, getting a hold of your chin and tilting your head up to look at him.

"It's okay, you can kiss me all you want," Leaning down, he spoke once more before kissing you, "Of course, when no one is looking."

Rolling your eyes, you kissed him back. If you could, you'd make out with him there and then, but you were too excited for the date to even do so. "Okay, so, what were you saying before I rudely interrupted?" Moving to sit down, Ben leaned his forearms against the top of his car as he looked down at you.

"I was thinking of something really cheesy...a picnic." He shrugged as your mouth fell open.

"That's so not cheesy! Trust me, anything we do isn't, it's better than what Hux ever did with me." You waved a hand as Ben gazed down at you, still taking in the fact that you were actually his--in secrecy.

"Oh, believe me, I will make this worth while. I'll give you everything Hux never could." With a wink, Ben shut the door and moved to the drivers seat as your cheeks burned. You especially loved how confident Ben would get around you even if you also made him very shy at times.

The small drive to the local park, Ben had been playing a new mixtape for you, one he claimed to have made earlier in the day because he wanted something that best represented the two of you.

"You know, I really miss your band." You spoke as the two of you walked along the sidewalk, hand in hand as Ben's other held the basket while your free one had been holding his guitar. "You guys should really do something, it's been too long." Looking up at him, Ben nodded.

"I do have a few new songs..." He spoke with a smile, your heart fluttering at the sight. One thing you absolutely loved about Ben was his smile. "Many which are about you." Turning his attention down at you, you pressed your forehead against his arm, flustered as ever.

" _Ben_..." You muttered, Ben coming to a stop as he had reached a spot on the open greenery. "You're too cute for your own good." Looking up at him, he was already looking down at you, longingly.

"Well, that's because I love you." Seeing your cheeks redden, Ben bent over to kiss one as you smiled. "Come on, let's set this up." Nudging his head, you let go of his hand, placing his guitar down as he placed the basket next to it, then giving you one end of the blanket as he took the other. Spreading it out onto the grass, Ben moved the basket on it before you picked up the guitar and handed it to him.

"So, are you going to play me some songs?" You wiggled your brows as Ben chuckled, nodding his head. "Yay!" Clapping, you saw Ben reach into the basket and pull out a small journal.

"Here..." He handed it over. "Open it to where the bookmark is."

Grabbing onto the leather bound notebook, you opened it up to where a ribbon had been placed. "What is this?" You asked, looking at the first page and seeing a few doodles, only to have Ben's finger appear in your line of vision as he pointed to the page next to it.

"This...is my personal journal. I write my songs in there, draw here and there...and add my poetry." He informed, removing his finger as you saw a poem on the page he pointed at, a bunch of words being crossed out and replaced. "It's funny because, a lot of it is personal and no one else can see it...but I want you to."

Lifting your head up, your brows narrowed the slightest. "Why's that?"

"Well, for starters, the poems are about you." He softly spoke, looking at you as if you were ephemeral, almost like you could disappear in any given second. Ben had to constantly remind himself that you weren't just a figment of his imagination or that this wasn't a dream--it was all _very_ real. "Now that I think about it...all of them are."

Reading the poems, you found your eyes tearing up the more you read on, turning pages and reading line after line. If you knew this was how Ben felt--at least, from what you understood--you would've confronted him way sooner. It was clear to you that he was paining as much as you were, if not, more. The words he wrote, the way he wrote them and how they flowed together struck you. You could feel the emotions that he put into the poems as if they were seeping into you.

Reaching the last poem, you shut the book and felt yourself frowning--not out of sadness, but from how the poems affected you. "Ben..." Looking up at him, he blinked, seeing how watery your eyes were.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm so-" Before he could even finish, you tackled him into a hug, causing his guitar to fly out of his grip.

Attacking his face with kisses, you cried out, "Ben, you're so...ugh!" Unable to even form words, you cried into his shoulder as Ben lied there, unsure of what to do. At first, he was shocked, he never expected to get that reaction out of you. Were you mad? Not by the way you kissed him, so maybe you were just flattered? "You're so great..." You mumbled, holding tightly onto him as he had wrapped his arms around you.

"I...thank you..." Lifting yourself up, you looked down at him and smiled, giving him a sweet kiss. "Did you-did you like them?"

"Yes," You nodded, breath nearly hitching from the crying. "Ugh, I probably ruined my make up..."

"No, no! You look fine, you look beautiful." Wiping away your tears as he looked up at you, you continued to smile. He made your heart do things no one else ever had. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you," You nearly whispered, kissing the tip of his nose before sitting up and sniffling. "How long have you been writing poems?" You asked, looking over at Ben.

"Not that long, a few weeks. My mom gave me the idea but it...it came out so natural when the pen hit the paper. I mean, plenty of trials and errors...but it was worth it." Ben nodded, picking the guitar up once again as you went for the journal, looking through it. "There was no better way to get out my feelings than to write."

"I can see..." Eyeing the content in the journal, you looked at a few of his sketches that were either behind writing or on the sides. "You can draw, too? Ben, what can't you do?"

"Tell the girl of my dreams that I love her." He mumbled, strumming his guitar as you turned to look at him.

"Well, you did." You smiled. "So you can't say that."

"Okay, then...I can't...d-"

"Don't say dance, you did perfectly fine that night of homecoming." You pointed a finger. "And for Grease! And you can sing and act...and apparently draw!" Pointing at the notebook, Ben shrugged. "Such a talented boy, how am I so lucky?"

Blushing, Ben kept his focus on the guitar as he began playing it. "I could ask myself that about you."

Moving over to him, you kissed his cheek before sitting beside him, listening to him play the guitar as you rested the side of your head against his shoulder. This was possibly one of the happiest moments you've ever experienced.

. . .

After spending most of the time listening to Ben sing you a few songs, eat what Ben had brought and simply enjoy the company of one another, the two of you walked hand in hand along the pathway of the park. "Are you going on the field trip to Endor? You are, right?" You asked as Ben looked over at you and nodded.

"Yeah, I originally wasn't but my mom said I should since Rey is. When she says I should it really means I have to..." Ben sighed as you chuckled.

"Well, I'm going, so you'll see me." You winked up at him. "Maybe then we can sneak off somewhere...that first day is up to us...we could do something."

"Yeah, but what if people see us?" Ben asked as you shrugged.

"We're best friends, most of our classmates know that. It isn't like we're going to be making out in public...just hanging out." You spoke as Ben nodded.

"Alright, but I'm sure there are times I'm going to want to steal kisses from you so-"

"Compose yourself." You pointed a finger. "Unless, of course, the area is clear or we're secluded." Winking at him, Ben grinned.

"Sounds fair enough." Continuously walking along, Ben came to a sudden stop as his brows furrowed. "Do you hear that?" He asked, you looking at him with a confused expression.

"Hear, wh-" Suddenly hearing whimpering, your eyes widened.

" _That_."

"Yeah, yeah...I wonder what it is?" Looking at Ben, the boy let go of your hand and followed the sound, making his way over to a nearby bush and crouched down. "What is it?" You asked, trying to see what Ben was looking at as you stood in your spot.

Reaching into the bushes, Ben pulled something out before standing back up and turning to face you with a smile. "It's a puppy."

"A puppy?" Your face softened, rushing over to him and seeing the little pug in his hold. "Aw! A pug!" You shrieked. "It's so cute..."

"I don't want to leave him all alone..." Ben frowned. "Do you want him?" He asked as you eagerly nodded. "A little gift for a successful first date." Ben smiled as you beamed, grabbing onto the puppy and hearing it's cries die out.

"Poor thing must be scared..." Looking down at the small dog, you gently rubbed its head. "I'll gladly give you a home, little guy."

"What're you gonna name him?" Ben asked, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Hmm..." Looking at the pug, you then looked at Ben. "Cosmo."

"Clever," Pointing his finger at you, Ben smiled.

"Cosmo Solo since you're the dad and you found him." You smirked as Ben shook his head.

"So this means I've gotta take care of him, too?" Seeing you nod, he playfully rolled his eyes. "I guess that's fair...this gives me an excuse to visit you more." Walking to your side and kissing the top of your head, you went to hold back onto Ben's hand as your other held Cosmo.

"I'm sure Cosmo would love that."

. . .

"A dog?" Your mom questioned. "You go on a date and bring back a dog?"

"We weren't about to leave him alone, plus Ben's already got two pets and...and how could you say no to this little guy?" Lifting the pup up, Cosmo let out a small bark as you laughed.

"Alright, alright...but he's _your_ responsibility!"

"Like Jupiter is?" You raised a brow.

"Hey, I take care of Jupiter, too!" Your father pointed out as you sighed.

"Now that the twins are in college, I think it's nice to have another pet fill the void." You pointed out, the twins ignoring as they sat on the couch and watched tv.

"Okay, but you're gonna have to walk him, train him, feed him-"

"I get it, mom. Responsibilities. I am willing! And Ben will help." You smiled. "He's the dad, he found Cosmo." Shrugging, you looked back down at the pup and rubbed under his jaw.

"Aww, Ben's the father." Your mother smiled. "This means we'll see even more of Ben." Looking up, your mother smirked as you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, mom. You'll see more of him because we're _dating_." At the sound of that, you smiled. You possibly couldn't get used to the idea, not when things just started.

. . .

The weekend had gone by rather swiftly, the date had been the highlight of it, but also the fact that you now had a puppy--something Jupiter wasn't so fond of. But, eventually, she'd get used to.

The following day--Sunday--you had spent most of it at Ben's place, bringing Cosmo with you and introducing him to Han and Leia. Rey hadn't been there as she was out with Poe and Finn, which you didn't mind, this meant she wouldn't be so suspicious about you being with Ben for so long.

You two didn't do anything out of the ordinary, you were mostly in his room messing with Cosmo. If it wasn't Cosmo, it was Ben being all over you as if he had missed you. Then there was Ben playing more songs for you as you sang along, the two of you talking about an array of things and then ended up cuddling on his bed--which turned out to be you two napping with Cosmo lying on Ben's chest.

For some reason, something as simple as being in Ben's room was the most entertaining thing for you to do. It was honestly the best weekend you've ever had. All thanks to Ben.

Walking up the sidewalk towards the front of the school, clutching onto your jacket as you felt yourself begin to shiver, cursing the skirt you were in and not just wearing pants. "Ugh..." You grunted, getting hit by a gust of wind, causing your thighs to freeze up.

"Y/n..." Hearing someone call to you, you turned around, shoulders instantly dropping. "Look, I know you don't want to see me-"

"Then why are you talking to me?" You nearly snapped, looking up at Hux.

"I want to explain myself...I-"

"There's nothing to explain, you _cheated_ on me." You snickered. "We just weren't meant to be, Hux." Cringing at the sound of you calling him by his last name, you crossed your arms. "You were a pretty lame boyfriend. Actually, you just sucked at being one." Blinking, he stared at you in silence, unable to form words. "I thought that what we had was good, but I was wrong. You're just...not the one."

Seeing you shrug, Hux gulped. "Y/n, please, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. You cheated on me. We're over with, got it? Don't bother me anymore. I'm much better without you." At that, you turned on your heel and walked off, seeing Finn, Rey and Poe waiting at the top of the steps for you.

Standing there with uncertainty, Hux looked over at you and watched as you were greeted with hugs and smiles before walking on. How could he have allowed things to get so bad?

"It's good to have you back!" Poe patted your shoulder as you smiled.

"It's good to be back." Walking alongside the three, your attention shifted ahead of you as you saw Ben in the distance. Smiling, you waved at him as he walked over.

"Alright, the gangs all here!" Poe clapped before pulling Ben into a hug. "Who wants to tell me what exactly we're doing for the trip to Endor?"


	34. Melting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Melting by Kali Uchis

Throughout the school day there was nothing but looks being exchanged by you and Ben, constantly smiling at one another, flirting when no one could hear, and even teasing.

Ben went back to his old self--which was taunting you and making you flustered. Each chance he got, he either whispered something in your ear, slid his hand up your thigh, or even kissing you when no one was looking.

Of course, you had to one-up him and make him just as flustered--if not, more than you were. You loved the way Ben's eyes would widen when you'd whisper obscene things in his ear. The way his cheeks grew a shade of red when you'd trail your fingers up his leg; and the way he let out small whines whenever you'd purposefully bend forward in front him to pick up something you 'dropped'.

Like always, Ben couldn't handle it, so when he had the chance he'd snatch you into somewhere secluded and kissed you as if you were his life force. Whether it was behind a wall during class, in a closet, or even behind the bleachers--where you were now--he took the opportunity. 

"R-Rey is gonna...gonna wonder where I am..." You spoke into the kiss, Ben holding tightly onto your face, kissing your lips with such hunger.

"Just tell her...you had to speak...to your coach." Ben muttered, unable to leave your lips as he enjoyed the taste of them. Although you did wear lipgloss, chapstick, and sometimes lipstick, Ben always rubbed it off before he kissed you--especially the lipstick. He knew how much of a secret it was to kiss you.

"I think we should go...class will end soon..." You breathed, parting from the kiss and trying to steady out your breathing as Ben still held your face. Resting his forehead against your own, he lowered a hand and nuzzled his cheek against your left one.

"Can we stay a bit longer?" He whispered as he wrapped his free arm around you.

"I would love to, but I don't want anyone being suspicious."

"Come to my house after school?" Ben asked, cheek still against your own, eyes shut as he took in the moment.

"Okay." You smiled, pushing away and kissing his cheek before walking off.

Watching you go, Ben's heart fluttered in his chest. He never thought he could be so lucky to have you and to kiss you the way he had. To him, you were an absolute treasure. One he knew the worth of and wouldn't dare trade for the world.

For the remaining school day, you and Ben had constantly messaged one another until it was time to meet up. During study hall he claimed he had to do "something" so he couldn't join you. Which was fine with you, you spent it with Rey as you felt bad after what happened that past Friday.

"I'll see you later, enjoy practice!" You waved at Rey after hugging her.

"Thank you!" Seeing her walk off, you went the opposite direction, nearly rushing to the front of the school.

Exiting the glass doors, you saw Ben leaning against a tree, waiting. Rushing down and making sure you didn't trip, you popped up in front of Ben and smiled. "Hey, you." He grinned, wrapping an arm around you before the two of you walked to his car.

"I'm excited for Wednesday. I think we should go to the hot tub at the resort seeing as it'll be chilly." You spoke, looking up at him as he nodded in agreement.

"That sounds doable, I think Rey and the others are going to an outlet so we'll be alone." He smirked as you let out a small breath.

"I wonder what trouble we'll be getting ourselves into." Making it to his car, Ben opened up the door for you as you then got in. Moving to his side, he turned on the car and put in the cassette. "It's only been a day and we've already snuck around three times." You lifted three fingers up, Ben grabbing them.

"And? No one has caught us." He winked as you rolled your eyes, taking your fingers away from his hold. "Look, no one will be home now, we can enjoy ourselves."

"Don't get your hopes up, buddy." You patted his arm as he backed up his car and exited the school grounds.

The drive to Ben's place was spent listening to the new music as he held onto your hand, you occasionally looking over at him and smiling as he had done the same to you. You knew the stages you were in were disgustingly cute, but you couldn't help it, Hux never treated you such way and Ben had never dealt with anything like it before.

You were just happy that _finally_ things were going right. After so long, after all the trouble you went through and pain you suffered, this was what you deserved--to be with the person that truly loved you and wanted to be with you.

And the same went for Ben. Although it had only been a short period of time, he felt like he had already been with you for so long. His heart felt like it was going to burst with the amount of love he had to offer. He just couldn't believe any of it was real. To have you as his after so long, after the problems he created out of fear, this all must've been a dream.

But it wasn't. You were real and you were there right beside him, smiling like you've never smiled before while Ben's heart called to you.

Parking his car in the driveway, Ben sat there and let go of the steering wheel, turning to face you as you kept your attention on your hand. Reaching over, Ben got a hold of your chin and turned your head so you could face him. Looking at him doe eyed, Ben leaned in and kissed you. If he could, he'd kiss you every second of the day. "You don't understand how happy I am." He spoke against your lips, eyes still shut as you smiled.

"Me too." Letting go of his hand, you quickly moved to him, wrapping your arms over his shoulders and straddling him as your lips had attacked his.

You couldn't help it, you were deprived from such affection and never really had made out with anyone. Truly, Ben was the first person who ever kissed you and made you so breathless. Kissing Hux was flat out _boring_.

Unwrapping your arms and holding onto his face, your hungry kisses only softened out, you slowly moving your lips against his as you wanted to savor the taste. You also wanted to make the moment last longer. The way his lips felt against your own was euphoric, your stomach turned at the sensation and your heart raced. As much as Ben was addicted to kissing you, you were addicted to kissing _him_.

Holding onto your hips as Ben's brows furrowed from the sudden arousal, he could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Although he enjoyed hungry kisses, slow ones seemed to have a bigger affect. The fact that he was impatient and wanted to just jump your bones made it worse--yet, he loved it. He enjoyed the butterflies in his stomach and he loved how your lips carefully moved against his own as you then bit his bottom lip.

Moving away from the kiss to catch your breath, you rested the side of your head against his cheek, leaving a sweet kiss against his neck as Ben's eyes fluttered open. There was no lie in saying he was turned on. But the truth was, when wasn't he when he was around you?

Slowly opening up your eyes, they only widened at the sight of a boy outside on his bike. "Oh my gosh..."

"What?" Ben asked, pushing you back to look at you, seeing your focus set elsewhere.

"There's-there's a boy watching-"

"Huh?!" Turning himself to look over, Ben glared at the kid, the teenage boy gasping and instantly zooming off. "Ugh, that's our neighbor. The kids a creep, he's always checking out Rey." Ben rolled his eyes as you blinked, sitting back.

"How old is he?" You asked, moving off of Ben and sitting on your knees beside him.

"Thirteen. He's in _those_ stages." Ben huffed as you only smirked.

"Ben, you're in _those_ stages right now." You teased, Ben shooting a look at you as you only laughed.

"That's because I've never had someone like you! And I've liked you since forever!" He defended as you continued to laugh, seeing his cheeks turn red from embarrassment.

"Aw, Ben..." Holding onto his face, you were just about to pull him into a kiss, "You have me now."

. . .

Deciding to change out of your school uniform and wear one of Ben's shirts as he had changed into a pair of sweats, the two of you lied under his sheets. Lying on your sides, you were curled up against Ben as your legs intertwined with his own, forehead resting against his bare chest as one of his hands lied in your hair.

At first, the two of you decided to cuddle, you with your arms wrapped around him as he lied against your chest with his arms snaked around your waist...but somehow, the two of you ended up napping in a totally different position.

It was so calming, the faint sound of Ben's breathing and the hum of the air conditioning sounding in your ears. It was exactly what you needed after the past two months you've had. Nothing but either of you curled up together, so close and napping. And this happened for the next two days.

After school you left with Ben to go to yours or his place--whichever was empty. Ever since your brothers had left to go back to school, your house was the one to go to. But, you didn't mind, because Jupiter was happy to see Ben and you missed sharing your bed with him.

Tossing and turning in your bed, unable to sleep for some reason, you sighed. Reaching over to your nightstand, you grabbed your phone and was nearly blinded by the glare. Opening up the messages, you texted Ben: **I can't sleep**

Locking the phone, you were just about to lie it back down, only to see a message pop up.

**_Neither can I_ **

Frowning the slightest as you knew his insomnia must've been getting to him, you came up with an idea, knowing very well he slept well when he was with you.

**Wanna come over?**

**_Now? At 12:30 in the morning?_ **

**No, tomorrow. Of course now!**

**_Okay_ **

Locking your phone yet again, you lied it down and smiled to yourself. You weren't sure how you were going to get Ben inside, but you'd make it work... _somehow_.

Patiently waiting as you lied in bed, you heard sudden knocking on your balcony doors, causing you to jump the slightest. Sitting up and getting off of your bed, you moved to your balcony and pulled the curtain open, seeing Ben standing there in his sweats and a hoodie as you instantly smiled.

Unlocking the door, you pulled him in and shut the door behind you. "Ben, how did you get up here?"

"Really? The same way you sneak out." He shrugged, removing his hands from the pocket of his sweater before kissing the tip of your nose, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your bed.

"Did you drive here?"

"Skated." He simply spoke, you climbing onto the bed as Ben removed his jacket and placed it on the edge of your bed.

"Skated?" You raised a brow, making your way under the cover as Ben joined you.

"Yeah, you know, skateboard." He said, looking over at you as your brows raised the slightest. "I don't do it all that often, but it was better than taking my car or a bike. I hid it in your bushes." Ben chuckled as you grinned.

"Of course you did." Lying down beside him, Ben only pulled you on top of him as he wrapped his arms to secure you.

Kissing the top of your head as he got a whiff of your hair, he smiled to himself. "Your hair smells good."

Rolling your eyes, you lifted your head and looked at him, "Weirdo..." You chuckled, giving him a quick kiss before lying your head back against his chest.

"Sleep well, my moonlight." And that, you did. You had woken up an hour before your alarm, realizing you had slept the rest of the night in the same position.

Lifting your head up and seeing Ben completely knocked out, you smiled. He looked so cute, you wanted to take a photo but knew very well Ben would kill you if you had.

Carefully sitting up on him, you brushed his hair away from his face before kissing his forehead. "Ben..." Gently rocking him, you got no response. "Ben..." You sang, hearing him groan. "You need to get up, school's in two hours..."

Slowly opening his eyes, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of you. Rubbing his eyes, he only smiled. "I thought you were an illusion." His groggy voice spoke as you shook your head.

"I'm very real." Holding onto his cheeks, Ben blushed. The sight of you in just your nightwear, straddling him and smiling made his heart flutter. "And you need to go home, I don't want you being late for school or anything."

Hearing him groan, Ben slowly sat up and pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face into your neck. "Can you tell Rey and Natasha to switch with me, I want to room with you." He mumbled.

"I wish...I really do. Once we get back from the trip you can sneak in and sleep over as much as you want." Smiling at the sound of that, Ben lifted his head up and kissed your cheek.

"Okay, I like that better." Shaking your head, you moved off of him as he lazily stood up, grabbing his sweater and pulling it on as you eyed his torso and bit your bottom lip. "I'll see you later, babydoll." Watching him walk off, your heart skipped a beat at the newfound nickname.

Did he hear himself? Or maybe he was half asleep to even notice it? Whatever it was, you had hoped he remembered.

Seeing him walk out the balcony door and shut it behind him, you fell back and smiled. "Moonlight and babydoll..."

. . .

"Alright, students! Those who will be joining us on visiting the outlets, please line up here! Those who are staying behind can make their way inside and back to their rooms." One of the supervisors of the trip--a parent--spoke.

Looking at Ben, you grinned as he did the same back. "I'll see you guys later." you spoke to Rey and Natasha.

"You're not going?" Rey asked as you shook your head.

"Nah, I'm tired from waking up early, I'll probably nap and go to the hot tub." You nodded.

"Okay, enjoy!" Natasha smiled as you waved before walking off, Ben saying goodbye to Finn and Poe before following you shortly behind.

As soon as the two of you entered the hotel and aimed for the elevators, Ben pulled you into a kiss. "Dammit, Ben!" You laughed, being caught off guard.

"What? I couldn't kiss you this morning so I'm doing it now." Moving his kisses to your cheeks and forehead, you blushed. "I can't help it and you know that."

Sighing, you nodded. "Hey, when we get to the jacuzzi keep it to a minimum. It's enough that Hux is here as well and who knows who's staying behind." You pointed as Ben groaned, moving back and nodding.

"Alright..." He frowned as you chuckled.

"But, you can kiss me now." Seeing a grin creep onto his face, Ben pulled you to him and kissed you, the elevator dinging as he then groaned again. "Sorry, babe." Shrugging, you walked out as Ben followed.

"At least our rooms aren't far apart." He spoke, walking alongside you.

"Ben, yours is in front of mine." You pointed out, coming to a stop.

"I know, I just wish it was next door so I could use those doors that connect rooms-" Swatting his arm, Ben gave you a look. "What?! We're in secret, I have my needs!"

"Shhh...relax, be happy that you're even across." You pointed a finger, opening your hotel door and walking in. "I'll meet you at the hot tub, okay?"

"Alright." He mumbled before turning around and walking into his hotel room. Smiling as you watched the door shut, you shut yours after and went to change. Ben was so needy for your attention as much as you were for his love.

Changing into your swimsuit, you pulled on a robe and grabbed a towel before heading out. Aiming for the elevator and entering it, you stood there and held the towel close to your chest, cheeks instantly burning at the thought of Ben in nothing but his swimming trunks.

Everything was so different around Ben. The feelings he gave you, the way your heart fluttered and how your stomach turned...all because of him. This was what it should've felt like with Hux. Instead of it feeling like a responsibility or a sort of duty, it felt pure...it felt real and it felt heavenly.

Hearing the elevator ding, you walked out and aimed for the pool. Frowning to yourself, you saw a small group of friends--at least three people--in the water as a couple sat in the corner on beach chairs. Sighing, your shoulders dropped, you had hoped no one would be there, but who were you kidding?

Aiming for the jacuzzi that seemed secluded but really wasn't--just trees surrounding it, but not enough to block the people in the pool from seeing you--your eyes landed on Ben. He was already sitting in it, head leaned back against the little water fall attached to the tub, eyes shut as part of his chest was sticking out of the water. Smiling, you lied your towel beside his before taking off your robe.

Hearing shifting, Ben lifted his head and opened his eyes, cheeks burning at the sight of you. Sure, he's seen you once in a swimsuit, three times in your bra (including the time your shirt was soaked), yet it always made his heart flutter to see so much skin. Skin he was able to actually _touch_.

Pulling your hair into a loose bun, you turned your head as you were doing so, only to grin at Ben. "Is the water nice?" You asked as he nodded, your body slowly beginning to tremble. Waving his hand for you to join him, you lowered your arms and walked down the small steps before sitting beside him, slowly sinking into the water.

It felt so nice to submerge in it, the cold no longer being a problem as you instantly warmed up. Letting out a sigh in content, a small smile grew on your lips. It was rather relaxing.

Watching your pleased expression, Ben stopped himself from pulling you to him. He wanted nothing more just to hold you close to him and leave sweet kisses all over your face. But, people were nearby and could see him. So he held back and simply gazed at you as his heart echoed in his ears. You were so beautiful, he couldn't believe you actually wanted to be with him.

Shutting your eyes for a moment as you sunk in enough for the water to reach your chin, you reopened them and looked at Ben. "What?" You laughed as he simply shook his head.

"I just really want to hold you." He truthfully spoke as your stomach flipped. "But I can't..." Ben sighed as you lightly frowned. "I also really want to kiss you, but I guess have to wait."

Watching him slowly look away, turning his attention over to the water, you lifted yourself up. Moving closer to him, your hand interlocked with his own under the water, thumb rubbing against the back of his hand. "You can."

"How?" He asked, looking over at you with a raised brow.

Smirking at him, you tugged him under the water, the two of you being swallowed whole before you pulled Ben into a kiss. Kissing you back, wanting nothing more but to deepen it, the two of you only resurfaced.

Laughing as you pushed Ben's hair away from his face, he did the same to you with a heartwarming smile. "You're one of a kind, y/n."

"Hey, you wanted to kiss me." Shrugging, you moved back and leaned against the rock wall.

"Well, now your hair is all wet." Sitting back, Ben took in a deep breath.

"Oh well." Turning his head, he smiled as he looked at you, leaning in and kissing your cheek. "It's just wet hair." You shrugged.

Sitting there for what felt like hours, completely engulfed in a conversation, the two of you decided to get out. "Maybe we should go to the arcade." Ben spoke as you dried your hair as much as you could with your towel, pulling your robe back on.

"Why, so I could beat you at more games?" You arched an eyebrow as Ben rolled his eyes.

"No, so we can actually be alone." Brushing his finger against your cheek, Ben walked ahead as you then followed, shaking your head.

Making your way to the arcade room, the small walk being quiet, you spoke up. "Hey...do you remember this morning when you called me babydoll?" You asked, Ben raising his brows as he had nearly forgotten.

"Yeah...why?" He responded, you feeling the heat rising to your cheeks.

"No reason..." You lied, Ben coming to a stop at the door of the arcade, looking over to you. "What?"

"Did you like that I called you that?" Ben curiously asked as you looked away.

"Uh...possibly..." You muttered as Ben grinned, free hand reaching out to hold onto your chin.

Looking up at him and seeing the devious smirk on his lips, you took in a deep breath. "Then I'll add it to the ever-growing list of nicknames I have for you."

Smiling up at him, you nodded, Ben leaning forward and kissing your forehead. "I wonder what else you'll come up with."

Opening up the door and moving to a side, he gestured for you to walk in. "Oh, I'm sure there will be plenty."

. . .

"Ugh! How the hell are you good at DDR?!" You exclaimed, quickly moving to hit the arrows as Ben had done the same. "That's so unfair!"

"Hey, kid, it's natural talent." Ben simply shrugged, keeping his eyes on the screen as you had, too. Occasionally, you'd swat his arm or try distracting Ben to make him lose but nothing worked.

"No, you're not winning this time again!" Reaching over and grabbing his arm, you tried covering his eyes with your free hand all while still trying to play the game. Trying to push you off, Ben shoved his hand against your face as you pulled it off. This constantly happening until you had leaned too far and knocked Ben down as he brought you with him with a thud.

"Ow..." The two of you groaned as you frowned, lying on top of him. Grunting, you moved your hands on either side of his head and propped yourself to look down at him.

Opening his eyes, all he could see in his line of vision was your cleavage. "Fuck..." He breathed.

"See, now neither of us will win." You bitterly spoke, only to feel something press up against you. "Ben..." Seeing his face turn red, you only laughed. "Don't tell me scolding you turns you on-"

"No, but you seriously need to stop turning me on." He spoke as you lightly gasped.

"As if it's my fault that you're horny twenty four-seven!" You exclaimed as Ben moaned, you sitting in the _right_ spot as he bit his bottom lip. "Ugh, I swear, you are so sad."

Just about to stand up, Ben only grabbed your wrists and pulled you down. "I was far more sad before I had you, babe." With a wink, he kissed you as you rolled your eyes, although a tad bit flattered.

Hearing talking come from outside, you instantly pulled away and stood up, nearly tripping as you did so and acted as if you were laughing at Ben. "Haha! You fell!" You pointed as Ben narrowed his brows, only to hear the door open, looking over and seeing the trio walk in.

"Clever..." He muttered over to you.

"So you decided to go to the pool _and_ the arcade, huh?" Rey asked as you turned and nodded.

"Yeah, I did nap a little, but Ben was bored and asked if I wanted to hangout so we did." You partially lied.

Fighting a snarky grin, Poe bit his inner cheek as he eyed the two of you, knowing very well something had happened between you two. Actually, he had seen you two kissing there and purposefully raised his voice enough to practically warn you so you knew they were coming. "You guys should go shower, dinners gonna be soon." Poe spoke as Ben stood up, either of you nodding and walking towards them.

"Yeah, it's getting really cold." You responded.

"We'll see you guys later." Poe said. At that, the two of you left the room.

"That was close..." You sighed in relief.

"Yeah, make me look like an idiot." Crossing his arms, you only grabbed onto one and smiled up at him.

"Aw, but you're my idiot!" Batting your eyelashes, Ben looked down at you, unable to hold back his smile.

"That's so lame but I'll accept it." Leaning down, he kissed your cheek. "We need to be more careful in public."

"Psht, you're telling me."


	35. Swimming in the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I forgot to post this last week! | Chapter's Song: Swimming in the Moonlight by Bad Suns

"Oh man, this is delicious." Finn spoke with his mouth half full, Rey stifling a laugh as Poe shook his head, either of them eating their own food. "Who would've thought...that hotel food is _this_ good."

"Finn, hotel food is always good." Rey spoke as Poe nodded.

"Clearly I've never been to the hotels either of you been to." Swallowing, he continued stuffing his mouth, plate filled in every corner with a different food item.

The hotels banquet hall was reserved for the field trip for the three meals while it's cafe was set with snacks for in between and late night cravings. Tables had been set up to fit six so of course your table was filled: Finn, Rey, Poe, Natasha, you and Ben. Natasha the entire time had been laughing with the commotion going on between the trio as you and Ben sat quietly.

What they hadn't noticed was that, underneath the table, either of you had been holding hands. Bens thumb would rub against your smooth skin or either of you would lock and unlock your fingers with the other.

Sitting with your elbow on the table, chin in the palm of your hand as you watched the three bicker, you smiled to yourself. These were the people you enjoyed, these were the ones that you'd never replace for anyone else. Even if you were well known, you always stuck to your small group no matter what. Being 'popular' wasn't your sort of thing, you couldn't careless, all you cared about was being with people who made you happy and knew you could trust.

And you were more than happy that Ben was a part of that. Hux would never fit in as well, after all, he never truly cared for your small group.

Letting out small laughs here and there, Ben watched you with a fluttering heart. To hear you laugh and to see you smile such way brought him pure joy. He was happy when you were happy.

From afar, a bitter Hux sat, watching in envy. He couldn't believe you had ended things with him just like that...even if he had cheated. But with the way you were around Ben and how close you two were at the moment, who's to say _you_ didn't?

Armitage Hux truly and absolutely _loathed_ Ben Solo. And he wasn't going to let things slip that easily, not after everything. Not after the years he's been with you.

"I think I'm gonna head back, I'll see you guys later." Giving Ben's hand a squeeze, as if to signal him to do the same, you let go of it before standing up and leaving.

Faking a yawn, Ben sighed. "I should do the same, I'm pretty tired." He lied, standing up. "I'll see you guys back at the room." Seeing Poe and Finn nod, Ben walked off. There was no lie in saying that Poe knew exactly what was going on...and there was no lie in saying that Finn was suspicious.

Exiting the large room, hands in the pockets of his sweats, he was instantly pulled behind a wall as he had been walking along the hall. "You know, I was a bit afraid you didn't get the signal." You smiled up at him.

"Either way, I would've followed after." Leaning down, he kissed your cheek before grabbing your hand. "Do you want to hang out in my room?"

"Mhm." You nodded.

Before you knew it, either of you were on Ben's bed, you on top of him as you pinned his hands, lips moving sloppily against his own. Lying there with his shirt off, enjoying the fact that you were taking control, your hands moved to his face. "Let's hope the guys don't walk in." You breathed, lips crashing back onto his own.

"I'm sure...Poe probably...has a clue as to what we're doing." Grabbing onto your hips and pulling you closer against him, he moaned against your lips. "I wish you were staying with me."

"Why, so we could raise questions?" You chuckled. "Let alone, cause trouble?"

"As long as I'm with you..." Ben flipped you over and peppered your skin with kisses, starting from your cheeks and down your neck, removing the sweater you were in to kiss your chest. "I don't care."

Taking in a shaky breath as you smiled, your fingers intertwined with Ben's hair as he continued to kiss you. "Ugh, Ben." You breathed. "You're so cute when you're in love."

"I would hope so..." He spoke against your skin, moving a trail up along your body and to your jaw. "After all, I am in love with you." Holding back a squeal, you accidentally tugged his hair.

"Sorry." Letting go of his hair and grabbing his face, you lifted your head up to kiss him, Ben kissing back with the same force--if not--more.

The two of you were all over each other, Ben holding your waist down, you holding the back of his neck and hungrily kissing him. Then, there was Ben going on a frenzy with his hands, touching your body, loving the feeling of your smooth skin against the tips of his fingers. "I could touch you all day."

Laughing into the kiss, your hands moved to the back of his head, wanting to touch his hair again even if you'd accidentally tug--you were sure Ben didn't mind. "I could touch your hair all day."

"Of course..." He sighed before moving his hands up your stomach, coming to a stop on your bra as either hand lied against your breasts.

Feeling your breath get caught as your lips parted, Ben's tongue slid in as he gave your chest a squeeze.

Sliding in the keycard, Poe opened the door only to gasp. "O-kay!" He exclaimed, you instantly shoving Ben off of you, sitting up and holding a pillow to your chest.

"Dammit, Poe!" Ben exclaimed, an arm outstretched in front of you.

"Hey, I didn't know I'd walk in to my two best friends about to have a go! Not my fault!" He lifted his hands up.

"We were not about to have a go, we're decent-"

"Decent? Your tongue was down her poor throat and your hands were holding onto her chest as if you were rock climbing!" Poe pointed his hands as you rolled your eyes.

"Poe..." You groaned.

"Look, I suggest you pull your sweater back on, Finn is on his way up." Poe spoke, walking in and shutting the door behind him.

Sighing, you lowered the pillow as Ben had with his arm, watching you grab your sweater and pull it back on. "I'm sorry." Ben lightly frowned.

Looking over, you gave him a halfhearted smile. "It's okay." Pulling him into a quick kiss, nearly forgetting that Poe was there, Poe lightly shrieked.

Turning either of your heads, you and Ben narrowed your brows. "Sorry I just...it's about freaking time you two got together!"

"We aren't really together just yet...I just broke up with Hux not long ago, so, please don't say anything-"

"Especially to Rey." Ben pointed.

"Definitely not Rey, she'll slaughter both of us." You nodded.

"Relax, I wasn't..." He waved his hands. "I know how she'd react. But I'm just really happy Ben took his head out of his ass and confessed." Poe grinned as Ben blushed.

"Thanks." The two of you spoke in unison, you looking over at Ben and laying a hand on his arm.

"I should get going, long day tomorrow." You spoke as he nodded, tiptoeing and kissing Ben's cheek as Poe let out a noise.

Looking over at him, Poe cleared his throat. "Yeah you should go...get some rest." Gesturing for you to walk out, Poe moved to a side.

Just about to walk away, Ben grabbed your hand and pulled you back. Giving you a quick kiss, he looked down at you, "Sleep well."

Smiling, you gave him a nod. "You too." Slipping from his grip, you walked to the door, seeing Poe there whistling to himself and looking elsewhere. "Goodnight, Poe." You sung, Poe looking over at you and grinning.

Watching you leave the room, Ben had a look on his face as if hearts were floating above his head. "Dude!" Poe exclaimed, rushing over to Ben and grabbing his arms. "Oh man, it's happening!"

Turning his focus away from the door, Ben looked down at Poe. "Yeah-"

"I am so excited! I mean, I shouldn't be because I nearly walked in to you having sex with her but I am because you two are finally together!" He shook Ben as Ben awkwardly chuckled.

"Relax, we weren't...I was just getting carried away..." He muttered, Poe shaking his head.

"You pervy bastard." Poe pointed a finger. "I can only imagine how it's going to be when you two actually-" Seeing Ben's cheeks turn red, Poe gasped. "YOU TWO HAD S-"

"Hey!" Finn walked in, "Uh, did I interrupt something?" He asked, Ben and Poe instantly shaking their heads.

"I was just telling Ben that tomorrow is gonna be great!" Poe lied, Ben shifting his eyes to Poe, only to look back at Finn, forcing a smile and nod.

"Apparently we're hiking through some parts of Endor...well, more of just a guided walk through." Finn spoke, moving over to the bathroom. "So the gang is finally going to hangout as a whole."

"Yeah, as a _whole_." Poe spoke, looking up at Ben with a raised brow.

Glaring, Ben rolled his eyes before removing Poe's hands. Moving to his bed and getting under the cover, he waved a hand. "I'm going to bed, night."

"Goodnight, try not having any sex dreams of y/n." Poe muttered with a smirk, Ben's eyes shooting open. That was the last thing he needed.

. . .

"Endor National Park." You spoke, looking down at the brochure in your hold, standing beside Rey and Finn. "I've never been here."

"Have you been to Lake Naboo?" Rey asked, Ben's head snapping up from looking at his own brochure, looking at you.

"Uh...no." You lied, exchanging looks with Ben before turning your attention to Rey.

"Oh, I have to take you!" She beamed, you taking in a small breath and nodding.

"Alright, class! The tour is about to begin!" The chaperon spoke, everyone moving into a line (or at least tried to) and followed through. Walking in between Rey and Ben as Finn moved to walk beside Poe and his small group.

Majority of the walk, you and Rey had been pointing out different plants, taking photos and gawking at the nature while Ben stood to a side and smiled to himself. Then there was Poe and Finn, goofing off as they constantly got scolded.

"Hey, come on, we're like one of the last groups up here!" Poe called out, your gang all being one of the lasts in the tree houses.

Just about to walk out behind Rey, Ben pulled you back. "We're going to be behind-"

"There's easily seventy people on this tour, they're not keeping count, they won't know." Ben spoke, grabbing both of your hands and pulling you with him.

"So, what? You wanna stay behind to fool around?" You raised a brow as he nodded his head.

"I mean...what else would we do up here?" He asked, you rolling your eyes.

"You're one of a kind, Solo." Pulling him down by the collar of his jacket, you kissed him, lips pressing against his own as he smiled.

Grabbing onto your waist and pulling you back with him, Ben's lips moving against your own, Poe looked over his shoulder to then turn around and see the two of you missing. "Of course..." Shaking his head with a smirk, he turned back around and caught up with the group.

Losing track of time as the two of you hadn't moved from one another for what felt like hours, Ben had been sat on a chair of some sort with you on him, hands on his face as his own were in your hair. "We should...we should get back." You breathed, Ben now kissing the side of your lips, then your cheek as one of his hands lied on the side of your head, the other on your exposed back and pulling you closer.

"A little more..." He mumbled, gently kissing your neck, wanting nothing more than to leave marks against the exposed skin.

"Fine..." Keeping your eyes closed, you held onto his wrist while your other hand held a fistful of his hair.

"Where is Ben and y/n?" Jess asked, the group looking at one another and shrugging.

"Weren't they just with us?" Snap questioned.

"I can't remember when we last saw them..." Natasha added, Rey sighing as Poe bit back a grin.

"Oh, there they are." Finn pointed, the two of you walking back to the group. "What happened?"

"We got lost." Both of you spoke in unison rather breathlessly, Poe raising a brow as you took in a breath while Ben quickly looked away.

"How'd you get lost when we had a tour guide?" Rey asked, you blinking only for Ben to speak up.

"We somehow lost you guys in the treehouse. One second you were there, the next, you weren't." He shrugged. "Listen, Endor is a massive park and we had to rely on the map." Ben nodded as you did the same.

"Well, at least you're back here, safe. Though you did miss some of the tour." Rey said, the two of you shrugging.

"Oh well, we ended up seeing a lot on the way back. At least Endor isn't too far from D'Qar." Ben stated as you agreed.

"Yeah, we could always come back and visit." You swatted a hand as if it were no big deal.

"Whatever you say, although I don't take either of you as the camping or hiking types..." Rey spoke with her hands up in defense before turning away, you and Ben letting out sighs in relief.

Looking down at your shirt, Ben's eyes widened. Clearing his throat, you looked up at him, following where his eyes had been looking. Seeing your flannel had been missing the first few buttons, your eyes grew in size, instantly buttoning it. "Do you think they..."

"No, I doubt it." Ben shook his head before the two of you followed the group.

Piling up back onto the buses, your group being one of the last, you so happened to have been in the same one as Hux. Walking behind Rey and in front of Ben, you made sudden eye contact with Hux, only to look away as if it were nothing. Clenching his jaw, Hux's eyes moved to Ben's, Ben looking over with an unamused expression before placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, do you want to sit together?" He asked right as he passed Hux, you nodding. Smirking to himself, he could feel Hux's eyes burning into him as the two of you took your seats beside one another, you near the window.

Pressing your knee against Ben's, you lied your hand on your thigh as you looked out the window, Ben looking over, then down at your leg. Seeing as how you purposefully had it touching his, Ben placed his hand on top of yours and held on, you smiling to yourself.

For the rather quick ride back to the hotel, either of you were quiet as the rest of the bus had been loud; not like you had nothing to say, but the silence between the two of you was comfortable and you were a bit drained.

Now sitting with your head pressed against his shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep, you felt the bus stop. "I'm so tired..." You nearly whispered.

"You have to stay awake because after dinner there's a campfire and Rey wants _all_ of us to go." Ben said as you sighed. "And you're going if I have to go."

"Of course..." You chuckled, lifting your head up as Ben removed his hand from your own. "But if I fall asleep-"

"You won't, after you eat, you'll be fine." He said before standing up, everyone exiting the bus and returning to their rooms or went straight to the dining area.

Deciding to take a second round of showers, your group had changed into more comfortable clothing--sweats, jackets or tops--before having dinner. Like the evening before, dinner was rather lively and quite entertaining, all of you sitting in the same order as Ben was back next to you, holding your hand under the table.

"Hey, save room for s'mores." Rey pointed at Finn, the young man groaning. "You know you love s'mores so save it."

"Yeah, yeah." Finn waved a hand dismissively as you grinned, finishing up with your food before sitting back.

For the rest of the time, Ben and Poe had been going back and forth about his band and why Poe would be a better fit than his cousin Sam while Finn and Rey bickered over the best sort of s'more, you and your cousin [Natasha] simply sitting back, watching.

"Okay we should tell some ghost stories!" Rey clapped, the six of you moving to the back of the hotel for the bonfire.

"What are we, six?" Ben asked, you smacking his stomach. "What? It isn't like we're little kids."

"Ugh, you're always ruining the fun." Rey rolled her eyes before looking at you, "I don't know how you consider him your other best friend, he's terrible."

Forcing a laugh, you smiled. "Always have to have that one bland friend." You said as Ben glared at you, you looking up and shrugging. "What?" You whispered.

"Fair enough." Reaching the circle, you and Rey shared a log while Ben sat against your knees, all the other logs being taken as you two took the last one, leaving Ben hanging.

Twirling some of his hair around your finger while he had been eating s'mores, you talking to Rey about Halloween since it had been a few days away, from afar, Hux had been watching with squinted eyes. The way you sat there, knees apart and Ben sitting in between, leaning with your hand playing with his hair...he grew jealous.

For two people who were "just best friends" you did things with him you never did with Hux, himself. And he was bitter and insanely envious. What made Ben so special?

"Well, tomorrow night, the school is holding an event for Halloween; apparently the drama club is going to make a haunted house in the gym." You stated as you spoke over to Rey.

"Oh, yeah! Aren't you holding your annual Halloween party?" She asked as you nodded.

"Yeah, my mom has been planning since June...I think she's more into it than I am." You chuckled, Ben smiling at the sound as he popped a piece of chocolate into his mouth. "But, hey, I'm glad! Means Halloween will be fun."

Nodding her head, Rey bit into her s'more. "Sunday, my mom wants to have a little get together since Luke hasn't celebrated Halloween with us for so long and it's the first Halloween Ben and dad are back...you should come." She smiled, Ben's brows raising. Nudging your leg with his elbow, you nudged him back.

"Oh, yeah! That sounds nice, I'll definitely go." Smiling back at her, Rey beamed.

"Hey, I ate too many, do you want half?" Ben asked as he turned his head to look up at you.

Seeing the chocolate smeared at the ends of his lips, you held back a laugh. "Sure..." Watching him break it in half, you took the piece in your hand, biting into it. "You should clean your mouth." You spoke, poking the area. As much as you wanted to wipe it yourself--maybe even lick it off--there were too many people around.

Instantly lifting his hand, he wiped as you chuckled. "Thanks..."

"Stop staring at them, you're going to make it obvious." Hearing a voice speak from behind, Hux looked over and sighed.

"Like it matters?" He responded, turning his attention away from the brunette and back over to the two of you.

"Whatever." Sitting beside him, Lili crossed her arms. "She used your cheating as an excuse to leave you for Ben, I'm sure of it."

"No, she didn't." Hux snapped.

Raising a brow, she scoffed. "Are you serious? Are you still going to defend her? Hux, she _dumped_ you. She wants _nothing_ to do with you! She's clearly moved on." Pointing her hand, Hux snarled. "Look at them, Hux." Shifting his jaw in annoyance as he glared at the two of you, his fists clenched.

There was clear happiness from either of you, the way you laughed and the way Ben smiled at the sight, you holding your stomach as Ben had leaned his forearm on your leg. He hated how happy you seemed. _That should be me_ , he thought.

Furiously standing up, Hux stormed off, leaving Lili there as she rolled her eyes. Sure, she was upset about the situation, but Hux was _furious_.

"I'm exhausted, I'm gonna head back." Finn spoke, standing from his spot as Poe nodded in agreement, Rey doing the same.

"Yeah, me too." Rey yawned, stretching her arms before walking over to the duo. "You coming?" Rey asked you as you shook your head.

"In a bit." You lightly smiled as she rubbed her face.

"Okay, see you later. Natasha, you coming?!" She called out, Natasha nodding as she said goodbye to the group she had been sitting with, the four walking away and leaving you with Ben.

"Are you tired?" You asked Ben, looking down at him as he shook his head.

"Not really." He lied, fighting a yawn as he stood up, moving to sit beside you.

"Ben...you just held back a yawn." Seeing him shake his head, he instantly looked away, turning back to look at you with a sleepy grin as his eyes were watery. "You just yawned!" Shoving him, he shook his head again.

"I did not!" He exclaimed, you glaring at him as he sighed. "Okay...maybe-"

"Come on." Standing up from your spot, you grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Let's go back, you need sleep." Practically tugging him with you, Ben trudged along.

"I'm not tired, let's spend time together." Moving closer to you, hand still in yours, you looked up at him and shook your head. "Pleeese!" He begged, you sighing.

"Ben, you're _tired_ , you need _sleep_." You said, walking towards the glass doors, pulling them open and stopping at the elevators, pushing the button. "We can spend time together tomorrow when we return to D'Qar."

"Fine..." He groaned in defeat, letting go of your hand as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, arms wrapping around you. "You're lucky I'm tired."

"Knew it." Seeing the elevator doors open, Ben walked with you, arms still wrapped around you. "So, are you going to the Halloween event for school tomorrow night?" You asked, Ben groaning.

"I hate Halloween." He mumbled, you instantly gasping and shoving him off of you.

"You-you hate Halloween?!" You exclaimed, Ben blinking as his eyebrows narrowed.

"Yeah-"

"You, you used to like Halloween?! I-"

"Not anymore," He snickered, "I grew out of it." Seeing him shrug, your shoulders dropped, you turning away as Ben frowned. "Aw, come on, don't get like that."

"Get like what? I'm fine." You lied, crossing your arms.

"You're not even looking at me and your arms are crossed. You're mad." Ben pointed out as you shook your head. "I'll dress up for you if you want-"

"No, I'm not going to force you to do anything since you _hate_ Halloween." You bitterly spoke.

"Y/n..." He whined, you shaking your head again. "Come on, I started hating the holiday because all these kids would come to our door and annoy me-" Shooting him a look, you only looked away as the doors slid open. "I know how much you love Halloween, I'll-"

"Goodnight, Ben." Walking off without him, fighting a smile as you weren't really mad (you just wanted to mess with him), you aimed for your room and went in.

"Damnit, y/n..." Dragging himself over to his hotel room, he rubbed his face, haphazardly opening the door.

Just about to walk in, Ben was instantly pulled back, nearly losing his balance. Turning his head, he looked down to see you wrapped in a blanket, grinning up at him. "Rey and Natasha are knocked out, do you want to stargaze?"

"Wait, you're not mad at me?" He asked, your head instantly tilting as you gave him a look. "Ah...a joke."

"I just wanted to mess with you, that's all." Smiling up at him, you opened up the blanket and wrapped your arm around his waist. "Are you willing to stargaze with me?"

"Yeah," He nodded, a yawn slipping.

"If you fall asleep I'll wake you up so we can come back." You spoke, the two of you walking over to the staircase in order to sneak up to the rooftop.

"Don't worry, I'll stay awake."

And that he did not; sitting down in between his legs, Ben wrapped the blanket around the two of you as his arms snaked around your waist. The second his chin had hit your shoulder, was the second he went out. At first, you thought he was staring up at the stars like you had, but when you heard low snoring, you turned your head and leaned to a side to see he was completely knocked out. "You'll stay awake, my butt." You chuckled, feeling his chest rise and fall against your back as his breath patted against your neck.

Pulling out your phone and seeing it was half past one in the morning, you let out a small breath. Gently removing his arms from you, you made sure he didn't fall forward as you turned around, seeing his head hang there. Trying not to laugh, one hand got a hold of his chin while the other pressed against his chest. "Beeen..." You sang, gently shoving him. "Ben, wake up..." You softly spoke. "Ben, come on, you need to sleep on a bed."

Getting nothing, you sighed. You didn't want to wake him up, knowing very well it was hard for him to sleep, but you didn't want either of you getting caught. "Ugh...as tempted as I am to just sleep up here I need you to wake up." Now holding his shoulders and shaking him, he lightly groaned. "Ben, you fell asleep, let's go back." Hearing more groaning, you rolled your eyes.

Trying to move your hands to his face, Ben only fell forward, his weight on you as you shrieked. "Ah! Ben!" Instantly jumping awake, Ben leaned back and looked at you. "Finally..."

"Sorry," His groggy voice spoke, holding onto your upper arms. "I actually fell asleep..."

Seeing his frown, you shook your head. "It's okay, your presence was enough." Leaving a small kiss on his cheek, you leaned back and looked at him. "But, next time you need to stay awake."

Grinning at you, Ben pulled you to his chest as he kissed the top of your head. "It'll be our next date."


	36. Feeling This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Feeling This by blink-182

The bus ride back to D'Qar was rather quiet, since it was early in the day--half past nine in the morning--almost everyone was napping in the vehicle. Lucky for you, since Finn wanted to sit with Rey, you decided to sit with Ben this time around. Which actually meant napping the whole time, sharing a blanket, as the two of you had your hands intertwined underneath.

Having your head lying against his shoulder as his was on top of your own, the bus came to a stop, one of the chaperones speaking up and waking the two of you. "You all may return home, I hope you all enjoyed your trip!"

Lifting his head up, you then lifted your own, you yawning and stretching. "I can't wait to nap more..." You muttered as Ben nodded in agreement.

"Me too...I didn't sleep much last night. Wasn't the same without you to lie on." He chuckled as you nudged him.

"Glad to know my shoulder is a good pillow." You grinned. "You can come over and nap with me...no one will be home and it's a good amount of hours we can put on us." Smiling over at him, he nodded.

"Sounds good." Standing up as you had let go of his hand, Ben picked up your blanket as you did the same, grabbing your bag. Waiting for everyone to walk off, Ben allowed you to go first, standing behind you as he messed with the ends of your hair.

"I'll be seeing you later, right?" Rey asked as you walked off of the bus, Ben following.

Walking over to her, you nodded. "Yeah, definitely. But, for now, I'm going to nap because I'm feeling pretty dead."

"Of course you are." She laughed. "Finn, Poe and I are gonna head to Maz's for breakfast since we didn't get to eat earlier...you two wanna go?"

"Wow, she's actually inviting me somewhere." Ben raised his brows as Rey rolled her eyes. "I appreciate the consideration."

"Oh, shut up, you were right there and you'd bitch anyway if I hadn't. Plus, you clearly helped y/n get out of her situation." Rey stated as you nearly blushed, Ben holding back a smile.

"Well, _one_ of her best friends had to." He smirked, ruffling your hair as your mouth fell into a thin line.

Sighing, Rey shook her head, turning around and walking off. "I'll see you two later." With a wave, she left with Finn and Poe.

"If she only knew what we actually did..." Ben snickered as you elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to grunt.

"Shut up, Ben." Aiming for his car as you treaded on, Ben's shoulders dropped as he then followed you.

"Hey, but you had a good time, right?" He asked as you stayed silent. "Right? I mean, we didn't last long but you enjoyed it, yeah?" Still getting no answer, Ben grew anxious. "Come on, you're getting me nervous...was I that bad?" He nearly whispered, you fighting a laugh as you continued to his car. "Y/n, come on!"

Coming to a stop at the passenger door, Ben walked over with a frown. Watching him unlock the door, you leaned closer to him and whispered, "I had a _great_ time." Freezing as he blinked, you simply grinned to yourself. "And you were _perfect_." Removing the key, Ben slowly stood straight, you looking up at him and winking before getting in.

Slowly making his way over to the drivers seat, Ben took in a deep breath, a smile growing on his face. At least he wasn't as bad as he imagined. "So, uh..." Looking over at him and seeing how hesitant he was, you leaned over, turned his head by his chin and gave him a sweet kiss as you smiled.

"Yes, I'll gladly have sex with you again." You laughed, sitting back in your spot as you saw the redness grow on his cheeks.

Grinning to himself as he had started the car, he took in a small breath. "Okay...good..."

. . .

Pulling out your keys and unlocking the front door to your home, you walked in as Ben followed while holding your bag. "I'm so excited for tomorrow, Rey, Finn, Poe and I decided to dress up as the kids from Stranger Things. Sadly, we don't have a Mike." You spoke over your shoulder. "I was going to be Mike but they wanted me to be Eleven instead." Shrugging as you aimed up the stairs, Ben being right behind you, he shook his head.

"Let me guess, you want me to be Mike." He spoke with no enthusiasm, you stopping in your tracks, turning around to face him as you eagerly nodded.

"Please! Please, for me?" You pouted as he rolled his eyes. "Come on, it'd make me so happy."

"No." He blatantly responded, walking around you as your jaw fell open.

"I'm willingly letting you into my home to share my bed with you to nap. I could easily kick you out and enjoy my nap alone!" You called out as he walked over to your room, you darting up the steps.

"You definitely wouldn't enjoy your nap alone, that's for sure." Pushing your slightly ajar bedroom door and walking in, he lied your bag down before he was greeted with both Cosmo and Jupiter. "Hello!" He nearly shrieked, crouching down to pet the two.

Storming into your room, you were just about to tell him off, only to see him hold Cosmo in one hand as Jupiter rubbed herself against him. "I hate how cute this is." Pulling out your phone and taking a photo, you put your phone on your nightstand, then stole Cosmo from his hold.

"Hey, he was having a good time licking my face!" Ben looked up at you as you shrugged.

"He's enjoying mine now." Sitting on your bed, you scratched under Cosmos chin as you practically held him like a baby. "Hi, buddy! I missed you!" Kissing his forehead, he let out a small bark, one that made you laugh. Sitting on the floor as he rubbed Jupiters head, Ben shook his head; at least Jupiter was there. "Daddy and I had a great time on our trip!"

Snapping his head up, Ben's eyes widened. "D-daddy?" He questioned.

"Yes, you're a daddy." You stated as if it were obvious, Ben only gulping. "You know, the daddy of Cosmo?" Biting down as you continuously said the word, Ben's heart fluttered.

"I-I know." He stuttered, trying to focus elsewhere but all he could thank about was you saying the word 'daddy' and the tightening of his sweats.

"Apparently Ben doesn't want to be your daddy any-"

"Hey, why don't we nap!" He jumped up, taking Cosmo from your hold as you narrowed your brows. "You know, since we're both drained."

"Uh, yeah..." Taking off your shoes, you moved under the sheets, Ben kicking his shoes off and placing them to a side before placing Cosmo down on the bed. "Are you alright?" You asked as you scooted over.

Getting under the covers with you, he nodded. " _Dandy_." Pulling you close to his chest, your arms folded against him, his own wrapping around you securely.

Nuzzling your face against him, your eyes fell close as a small smile grazed your lips. "I could do this everyday. Can we do this everyday?" You softly asked, a sensation moving about Ben's chest with every word you spoke. Such a moment being shared with you was one he never thought he'd have. It was so sweet and simple, he felt like he was cuddling the stuffed bunny you won him.

"Of course." Pressing a kiss on top of your head, he pulled you as close as possible, as if the two of you could morph into one. "Anything for you, my moonlight."

. . .

Feeling himself slip back into consciousness, his dreamworld turning to black, he lightly groaned. The sudden realization that he had been holding something made his eyes open--he nearly had forgotten that he was in your room, napping with you. Smiling to himself, his arms shifted so he could hold your resting head, gently kissing your forehead. He didn't want to let go, let alone, move his lips. A moment like this he never wanted to leave. After all, you were finally his.

"Y/n..." He murmured, you not responding, deep in your sleep. "Y/n...moonlight..." Still getting nothing, he sighed. " _Babydoll_..."

"Hmm...?" You hummed, Ben shaking his head.

"We have to get up, your parents could be getting home any minute now and the halloween event is soon..." He said, you groaning as your eyes fluttered open, a smile growing on your lips as you saw Ben gazing at you. The sight of you made his heart skip a beat. You looked so...angelic. Even if you had just woken up from a rather long nap.

"Oh, yeah..." Resting your forehead against his chest, you kissed against the material of his shirt, only to grab on. "You should come over tonight..."

"Tonight?" He questioned as you nodded. "You mean, to sneak in?" Nodding again, Ben grinned. "Alright."

Lifting your head up, you raised a brow. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." Pressing a kiss on the tip of your nose, he slowly let go of you, sitting up and stretching.

Watching him, you decided you had to get up before you found yourself drooling. "So, what are you dressing as tonight?" You curiously asked.

"I don't know...I don't think-" Getting a look from you, he sighed, "I think I'll pull something together." Seeing you smile, he playfully rolled his eyes. Leaning over, he rested a hand against your cheek before planting a gentle kiss against your lips. "Just for you."

"You're the greatest." You winked as he had leaned away, hand sliding from your face as he stood up.

"I should get going, want me to pick you up?" He asked over his shoulder as you stood up.

"Oh, no, Poe planned on taking the gang way back." You spoke, waving a hand as Ben lightly frowned, you walking over and getting a hold of his arm. "Don't worry, you can bring me back home." Your voice lowered, Ben looking down at you.

"What about sneaking in?" He questioned.

"You can park it elsewhere." You shrugged, walking alongside Ben, into the hallway and down the stairs. "They won't know, believe me." Opening up the front door for him, Ben let out a small breath.

"This sneaking around thing is thrilling but you better pray to the stars that I don't bust my ass one of these days trying to get to your balcony." He pointed a finger, turning around and standing at your front door.

"You won't, and if you do, I'll be there the entire time you're in recovery." You wholeheartedly smiled.

"You're lucky I love you." Leaning down, he kissed your cheek, pushing some of your hair behind your ear. "I'll see you later."

"Get home safe." Watching him walk off to his car, you smiled to yourself, shutting the door behind you and leaning against it. Your heart had never felt like this before. And you knew exactly what you felt, but when were you ever going to admit to it?

. . .

"So, a pilot? You couldn't have come up with anything more creative?" Rey sniggered as she stood beside you, the four of you--including Finn and Poe--waited in the hallway for Ben. The events for the evening had already started, the halls being filled with decor, balloons and streamers. Even fog and special lighting.

"What? It's a cool getup." Poe posed, eyeing his attire as Rey rolled her eyes. "Look at you, you look like an archaeologist or some crap." He pointed his hand.

"I am not!" She fired back, the two constantly bickering as you and Finn laughed.

"Ah! Ben, finally!" Poe called out, raising an arm and waving his hand. "Look, Ben's costume is far worse." He muttered to Rey, Rey looking over and sighing.

"At least he even dressed..." Hearing her, you smiled to yourself. If it wasn't for you, Ben probably would've been in his usual black jeans and tee, with vans.

Walking towards the small group as he fixed the blond wig, his eyes landed on the back of a figure, a pair of angel wings catching his attention. Raising his brows, he nearly choked as they had turned around--it had been you. "Hey, Ben." You smiled, Ben's heart racing as his breathing quickened. You looked, in simple terms, _hot_.

"H-ey..." He choked, trying so very hard not to stare at your chest.

"What are you supposed to be?" You questioned.

"A...technician, I guess." He shrugged, still fighting the will to stare at you. "Very last minute thrift shopping."

"I can see that, _Matt_." Pointing at the silver name tag on the vest he was wearing, you grinned.

"I guess you can call me Matt...the technician." He awkwardly chuckled as your smile grew.

"Why don't we join the fun, Matt." Pulling him closer to the group, the five of you walked over to where they had started a few games.

For most of the event you spent it as a group, playing games, dancing to some of the music--although Ben refused--and snacking here and there. Of course, somehow, you had lost the other three while in the haunted house. "Is it just us?" You asked Ben, holding his hand as the two of you walked along.

"Apparently so..." He said, nearly whispering as his grip around your hand tightened. "After the way Poe ran out, Im sure they-AH!" Yelling at the top of his lungs, he made you jump. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Ben, relax, this is a haunted house!" Pulling him with you, he frantically eyed the zombie that had scared him. "You're not scared, right?"

Seeing his wide eyes search around, constantly shoving you with him or rushing along a path, you held back a laugh. "O-of course not, what makes you say th-AH!" Jumping in his spot, he instantly darted. "Hell no!"

Being dragged like a rag doll, Ben swiftly picked you up in his arms and ran out of the haunted house. "B-Ben! This is making it w-worse!" You exclaimed, bouncing in his arms.

"I don't give a damn! I want out!" Seeing the end of the path, he zoomed out, the two of you now out of the gym and in one of the schools hallways.

"You big baby." You teased as he leaned against a wall, catching his breath and still holding you. "Come on, it wasn't that bad."

"That's easy for you to say..." He breathed, eyes opening as he looked down at you, you fixing the top of your costume as it had shifted.

"Thanks to you my boobs almost popped out." You mumbled, Ben staring at your chest and watching you adjust your costumes top portion. Although he was scared shitless, his mind went elsewhere.

"Oops..." Looking up at him, you rolled your eyes.

"Perv." Jumping out of his arms, you bent over and fixed your stockings, Bens eyes widening as he tilted his head. Luckily, no one was close enough to see the boy indiscreetly check you out.

"Damn..." He breathed, staring at your rear.

"At least that's over." Standing back up, Ben watched closely as you then turned. "Ben, we're in public!" You loudly whispered, snapping your fingers. "You can't just get a damn boner when there's tons of people here!"

"Wh-what?" Seeing you nudge your head, he looked down and instantly covered himself with his hands, blushing. "Fuck, y/n."

"Don't blame me." You waved a finger, turning around and walking off. "I'm not the horny one here." Purposefully swaying your hips more with your walk, Ben groaned.

"You're doing this on purpose!" He whined.

"Of course not!" You spoke over your shoulder, Ben removing one hand as he rushed up to you. "What makes you say th-" Pulling you into the girls locker room as it had been unlocked, Ben shoved you against a wall.

"You wore that on purpose. I bet you did." He whispered in your ear, pinning your arms over your head before smashing his lips against your lipstick covered ones. "You wanted me to be turned on."

"No..." You partially lied, kissing him back equally as forceful. "No way...I wouldn't even have to try to get you hard."

"I hate how right you are." Pressing his lower half against your, your breath hitched as his bulge poked your thigh. "And you want me to sneak over tonight? Are you sure?"

"M-mhm..." You hummed, eyes fluttering as Ben shifted his hips the slightest. "I'll admit, you look good yourself."

"What? This itchy wig and old glasses?" He asked as you nodded.

"Y-yeah..." Taking in a breath, you kissed him even more. "You work the blond hair, looks hot." You grinned, biting his bottom lip.

"Don't tell me you have some sort of kink?" He asked, moving his hands down your sides, grabbing your waist and lifting you up as your legs wrapped around him.

"I do, but not that." You grinned, hands holding onto the back of his neck, sloppily kissing one another as your lipstick smudged all over his lips.

"Not that?" He hummed, kissing the edge of your lips, then your chin. "Then what is it?"

"Why would I tell you?" You chuckled, Bens lips pressing against your bottom one.

"Because...eventually it'll slip."

Smirking, Ben leaned back and looked at you, a brow raised. "What? With how much we sneak around I promise you I'll accidentally spit it out."

"Now you have me curious," He grinned, smashing his lips once again against yours, tongue gliding against your own as his thumbs pressed against your hip bones. "What are you into?" Ben asked, moving his hands over to your thighs and gliding against them.

"Be patient, Solo." You mocked.

Walking along the halls, Finn called out your name. "Y/n?! Damn, where the hell is she?" Looking into classrooms and calling your name into bathrooms, he decided to check by the gym. "Y/n? You're not answering your damn phone and this isn't helping..."

Seeing the locker rooms come into view, he decided maybe you were in there, changing. With the outfit you were in, you were without a doubt freezing...right?

Pushing open the door and just about to call out your name, Finn's jaw fell open. "Holy fuck-"

Snapping your head over as you gasped, Ben instantly pressed himself against you as if that'd cover you. "F-Finn?" You stuttered, staring at him with wide eyes as you held tightly onto Ben's arms.

"You two...I..." Unsure of what to say, you lowered yourself from Ben. "I don't want to know where Ben's hands were, and now I can't get the image of Ben sucking your face-"

"I was not sucking her face-"

"Ben, that does not help." You spoke through gritted teeth.

"You two...I thought-you would've thought-" Continuously cutting himself, Finn shook his head. "Oh, man...I'm so glad I didn't walk in later-"

"Finn!" You shrieked.

"Okay! I'll act like I didn't see anything! Even though that's very hard when I'm sure Ben's hands were in your under-"

"Finn!" You yelled again.

"I'm leaving, I'm going!" He lifted his hands up in defense. "You're so lucky Rey didn't come with me-"

"Rey can not know, you hear me?" Pointing a finger at Finn as you walked over, you shook your head. "Rey _can't_ know, Finn."

"My lips are sealed. I kind of saw this coming but I didn't think this soon-"

"What?" You and Ben said in unison, Finn only backing up.

"Uh, nothing...have fun!" At that, he ran out.

"I think we should get going." Ben spoke. "Poe has walked in and now Finn...we need to be more careful."

"We? You're the one initiating it." Poking his chest, he raised a brow.

"And you put as much effort into as I do so don't give me that!" Fixing the false glasses he had been wearing, you chuckled. "What?"

"You look like such a mess, you have lipstick everywhere, come on." Grabbing his hand, you pulled him to the built in bathroom, sitting him down as you got a napkin and damped it.

"At least Finn didn't see what Poe saw..." Ben mumbled. "I mean, same tongue action, but my hands were elsewhere."

"Ben, both are equally as bad." Walking back to him, you straddled him and wiped the excess lipstick. Holding onto your waist as he simply watched you, you held his chin with one hand as the other wiped the stains. "Grabbing my chest and being in my panties are both bad."

"At least he didn't see me-"

"Ben, shush!" You hushed, the boy wearing a mischievous grin. "You are the _worst_."

"I can't help it. I have a dirty mind, you can only imagine the things I want to-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Standing up and tossing the napkin, you moved over to the door. "Contain yourself, boner boy."

"Hey! Don't call me that!" He called out, but you had already walked out to hear him. "Damnit..."

. . .

"You know, _you're_ the worst." Ben said, leaning away from the kiss for a moment as the two of you were now sat in his car, parked near your house.

"Why's that?" You questioned, pulling him back to the kiss.

"You call me 'boner boy' when you're the one now on top of me, initiating the make out." He mumbled, hands on the side of your thighs. "You're just as turned on. You're probably worse than me-"

"Shh...who would believe that?" Closing the gap and licking his bottom lip before biting it, Ben groaned. "As far as everyone knows, my relationship with Hux was as interesting as watching paint dry and that I'm innocent. Even after the rumors."

"Deep down, you're a pervert as well." Ben muttered as you smirked, kissing his bottom lip before moving to his ear.

"I guess we're a match made in hell..." You whispered, biting his ear lobe before leaving a kiss under it, then a complete trail. From down his neck, up to his adam's apple and chin, you slowly pressed kisses along his lips.

"You wore the wrong costume." Moving his hands onto the back of your head, he whispered before pulling you into a forceful kiss, "You should've been the devil."

"You're so right." Smirking, your hands latched onto his jumpsuit and practically ripped it open, enough for his boxer briefs to be exposed. You could tell he must've been suffocating with how tight the material had become around him, he could barely contain his bulge. "For what I'm about to do, I'm bringing shame to this costume."

If anyone had been watching from afar, they would've seen fogged up windows, the shifting of the old car and a hand pressing against the window. Lucky for either of you, the neighborhood streets were dead and no one was around to interrupt your car fun.

"We should...we should really try that again." Ben panted as you moved off of him, fixing your outfit as everything was out of place. "I mean, maybe the backseat next time..."

"That would be worse, my head would hit the door." You said, sitting up and adjusting your panties.

"We'd make it work, we'd put the clothes against it." He nodded, you looking over and shaking your head as you smiled.

"You are so desperate and needy." Leaning over and pulling him into a kiss, Ben held your wrist and kissed back.

"This is all very new to me and I finally have you. I am going to _cherish_ this, okay?"

"Okay...you're so lucky I want this just as bad." You murmured, just about to sit back only to accidentally hit the glove comportment, causing it to pop open. "Oops." Looking over as you sat back down, you gasped. "Ben?!"

"What?!" He snapped his head over, defenses up only to see you pulling out the one thing he really hoped you'd _never_ find. "Uh...I can explain."

"How can you possibly explain having my underwear in your car?!" You shrieked. "Did you steal them? Ben, these are new! No wonder I couldn't find them!"

"To be fair, you left them in Rey's and she was going to give them back but I...kind of stole them and-"

"Stole?! Ben!" You snapped, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm sorry! They're hot and remind me of you and...I rather not speak about why I have them." He crossed his arms, looking away in embarrassment as his cheeks were pink.

"Ben, there are so many other things you could've kept from me that _isn't_ my favorite panties." You sighed, eyeing him, seeing how red his face was. "Oh...oh _that's_ why." Blinking, you looked back at the red lace, only to look back at Ben. "I see..."

"You-you see what?" He instantly looked over at you. "I don't wear them if that's what you're thinking! I'm not _that_ weird!"

"No, that's not what I thought...I..." Looking at them, you then turned back to face Ben. "Do you...do you, _you know,_ " You gestured, "to them?"

"Do I, what?"

"You know...look at them and like fantasize about me and...you know!" Pointing at his groin, Ben's eyes widened as he looked at you.

"I-I do not!"

"You're guilty, you're so guilty! You literally mast-"

"Stop, I don't! This is so embarrassing..." Rubbing his face as he shoved it into his hands, you let out a breath, placing the underwear down as you already gave up on the idea of taking them back. Wasn't like it was going to do much a difference, he probably would taken them again.

"Oh, relax." Sitting on your knees, you lifted his face. "I honestly should've seen this coming." Pulling him into a quick kiss, Ben relaxed into it. "I'll model them for you."


	37. Everyday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW | Chapter's Song: Everyday by Ariana Grande ft Future

"I'm gonna go through the front, you do your usual wall climbing." Pointing at your house, you turned away from Ben and aimed for the entrance. Unlocking the door and walking in, Ben turned his attention to your balcony. Taking in a deep breath, he walked over to the wall of the house, grabbing onto the wall trellis and shaking his head. The things he did to be alone with you.

Carefully making his way up, heart fluttering each time he heard shifting or the thought that the fall was pretty high, he grabbed onto the balcony and quickly climbed over. Taking in heavy breaths, the door was instantly opened as you pulled him in by the grey jumpsuit. "You know, I'm gonna have to find a better way to sneak into your room other than climbing up."

"Like what?" You raised a brow. "You can't just walk in through the front door like its all good, quietly climb up the stairs and enter my room." Snickering as you shook your head, Ben grinned. "Ben, no."

"Ben, _yes_." Smirking down at you, you only swatted his chest. "Come on, one day I'm gonna bust my ass and crack my skull open!"

"Shh!" Placing your hand on his mouth, he grabbed your wrist. "You're so damn loud."

Removing your hand, Ben held on before kissing your palm. "Last time I checked, you're the loud one in this duo."

Rolling your eyes, you pulled your hand from his, "I so am not, we are equally as bad." Pointing a finger at him, Ben shook his head. "Don't give me that! We were both moaning pretty damn loud in the car!" Pointing your hand towards the window, Ben laughed.

"But you were louder, babe." Screwing your eyes back, both of your hands grabbed his jumper and shoved him on to your bed.

"Fine, let's test that out." Straddling him, you removed the halo from your head and tossed it to a side.

"That's a smart move seeing as you're nowhere near an angel-"

"Shut up and kiss me you idiot." Pulling off the blonde wig from his head, your fingers dug into his dark hair as your lips pressed against his own, kissing him.

"Are you...sure this is a...good idea?" Ben breathed in between kisses, you humming in response, hips beginning to rock. "Mmm...this isn't a...smart m-move."

"Shh...let's play a game." Moving your lips to his jaw, Ben took in a shaky breath, your hands moving to his shoulders. "The first one to moan the loudest, loses. My parents are home...this'll be interesting."

"You're evil...so evil...I can't believe people actually think...you're innocent." Holding onto your hips, Ben's eyes clenched shut as you rubbed yourself against him. Pressing his thumbs into your hip bones, his hands slid to your thighs, underneath your dress and lied on your rear.

"Isn't that how it always is?" You spoke against his skin, softly pressing kisses against his neck before leaving black and blues. "The innocent ones are the dirtiest."

"Apparently s-so." Ben coughed, completely aroused by the situation.

Lifting yourself up, your hands pressed against his chest as you continued to rock, biting your bottom lip as you watched Ben's face contort. The grip of his hands said enough when he had a cheek in either palm and squeezed the life out of you. "Come on, you know you want to moan."

"N-no way..." Furrowing his eyebrows, you sighed. Removing the angel wings, you unzipped his jumper enough to slide your hands along his chest and leave kisses. "This isn't f-fair-"

"Shh...I'm not the one who stole your underwear." Pushing him back so that he was lying flat on your bed, you moved your hands down his body and opened the zipper even more.

"Are you r-really going to hold that against...me?" Ben breathed, fingers digging into your skin as you hummed in response. "Of course...you are..."

"I've gotta keep an eye on you...the next thing you know...you'll be stealing my bras." Kissing his chest, Ben hands instantly latched onto your waist, flipping you over.

"Who says...I haven't?" Looking up at him as he was on his knees while you lied there, Ben smirked as you gasped.

"I swear, Solo, if you've stolen my bras-"

"Oh, relax..." Waving a hand, Ben stood up and slid off the jumpsuit, standing there in just his boxers. "Although I am tempted now to steal-"

"You are so not." Shaking your head, you got on your knees and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back into a kiss as he moved back to the bed.

Holding your waist, Ben groaned, tugging your dress. "Are you going to take this off?" He questioned.

"Uh...yeah..." You muttered against his lips, only for Ben to lean back.

"You're hesitant." He said, looking down at you.

"No...it's just, I don't have a bra underneath..." You sighed, shyly looking down.

"Hey, we don't have to go that far if you're not comfortable yet. We can do it like we did at the hotel." Ben spoke, hands lying on your cheeks to lift your head up.

Shaking your head, you looked at him, "I want to. I'm comfortable around you, I mean, I did have sex with you and you probably saw me naked in the shower that one time." You chuckled as Ben's cheeks tinted.

"I-I did n-"

"You definitely did, I'm sure you did, for like a mere second." Look up at him, he let out a breath.

"Possibly...but I felt terrible and forced myself to look at the ceiling. I've seen your underwear a good amount of times before we had sex but at least that was clothing-" Shoving him, Ben laughed. "What? At least I admit to it."

"I really need to wear shorts more often than not, who knows what other creeps have seen my underwear-"

"Creeps? I am so not a creep! I'll have you know your knees were up and my eyes just so happened to land on your-"

"Ben, shut up." You grinned before pulling him back into the kiss.

Breathlessly kissing one another, hands lost in his hair as Ben held onto your waist, you pulled him closer before shoving him against the bed. Straddling him and separating from the kiss, panting, you reached for the zipper of your dress as Ben watched you. His heart had already been racing from the heat of the moment, but the fact that he was going to see you in _nothing_ but your skin made his heart want to lodge out of his chest.

Slowly unzipping the dress, letting the thin straps fall from your shoulders, Bens breath hitched. He felt like he was a kid anticipating a Christmas gift, just about ready to open it and reveal their surprise. "Shit..." Ben breathed, wide-eyed and gazing at you as the dress slipped from your chest and to your waist.

Gulping, Ben wanted nothing more to reach out, but he was too stunned to even move.

Watching his expression, you blushed the slightest; at least you got that over with. "Wow." Ben whispered. "Wow this much better than what I've dreamed."

Swatting his chest, Ben caught your hand. "Ben, you perv."

"You should honestly be used to this. Really." Sitting up and tugging you to him, Ben held onto the back of your neck with his free hand, crashing his lips against your own.

Moving yours against his in sync, your lips parted enough for his tongue to slide in, pressing against your own as you felt the butterflies viciously swarm about your stomach. Gently tugging at his hair, Bens hands moved to your back, the tips of his fingers gently trailing down and sending shivers throughout your body. Ben wanted nothing more but to moan then and there. The fact that he was able to touch every part of your body now that was nothing _but_ skin made him tremble.

If he had been standing, he would've already fallen to his knees.

Pulling you as close as he could to him, chests pressed up against one another, his fingers dug into your back, he wanted nothing more than to just feel your skin. To remind himself that this was very real and that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

Lying a hand on your lower back as his other went into your hair, gently grabbing fistfuls as he gave you hungry kisses, your body ached. You wanted to feel him again, you wanted nothing more but to feel the euphoria his hips gave you. You couldn't believe how much you craved him and his body.

"Ben..." You mumbled against his lips in a begging tone.

Not thinking twice, Ben pushed you down as his body pressed against your own, nearly lying his whole weight on you.  Parting from the kiss for a moment to catch your breath, Ben grabbed onto your dress and slid it off of you, tossing it on the ground. "You better not moan."

"Shh...I had to kick Jupiter and Cosmo out of my room for this...so _you_ better not moan."

"We'll see about that." Ben smirked, looking down at your panties. "As pretty as these are, they're gonna have to go." Rolling your eyes, Ben grabbed onto the thin elastic and tugged them off, tossing them before he held your thighs.

He tried his best not to stare at your bare body, because if he had, he'd be a fountain and his groans would only make the situation worse. But, still, how could he not gawk at your body? It was your body, it was something he loved and now he loved it even more with nothing on. "Fuck, you are so beautiful."

Smiling up at him as your racing heart relaxed from the anticipation, you let out a breath in relief; and before you knew it, the two of you were on your second round, the car fun not being enough.

Interlocking his fingers with your own as he rocked his body against yours, you lied there, eyes closed tight while your parted lips panted. Nuzzling his face into your neck, Ben left small kisses each chance he got, your skin tingling from the sensation of his soft lips. He needed to keep his focus elsewhere, it was hard for either of you to stay quiet in a heated moment like this one.

"Moan already." You muttered, a sly grin on your lips as Ben lifted his head up.

"Why don't _you_ moan already?" Looking down at you as he watched your eyes slowly open, Ben arched a brow.

"Because...you're the horny one here." You teased with a wink, Ben narrowing his eyes at you.

"We both know you are as well...you're just good at hiding it, _sweetheart_." He nearly mocked as your brows raised.

"I'm more _discreet_...but, who would believe that? No one would think I'm dirty in the first place, _darling_." You smirked as Ben's jaw shifted, eyebrows rising and falling.

"Once others know that we're together, I'm sure they'll believe it. Your true colors will show. You're quite needy." He grinned.

"Is that so? We'll see about that."

"Oh, we will." Slipping his hands from your own, he lied them on the sides of your thighs, gliding them along and down to your hips then waist. "But for now," Leaning in to whisper in your ear, his hands came to a stop, "you're gonna have to moan for me."

Gasping, your breath hitched as Ben's hands grabbed onto your breasts and gently massaged at them, thumbs softly moving and brushing as your breathing quickened. Shutting your eyes once again as you bit your bottom lip, you felt a moan building up in your throat.

Seeing the way your face scrunched up as your chest heaved, Ben changed his pace with you as his hands worked their magic against your breasts, your body feeling as if it were in the clouds.

The way Ben handled your body was unexpected, of course it wasn't like you expected him to be rough, but you didn't think he'd be _this_ gentle either.

Softly kissing your chest and collar bones, Ben gently kissed your breasts, causing your breathing to become even more erratic. "You don't have to keep quiet." Ben whispered, moving a hand to brush some of your hair way from your forehead. "I know you're fighting it."

"Shh..." You hushed, shaking your head as Ben smirked. Pressing kisses against your neck, he found your sweet spot and nipped the area, your heart doing somersaults as you--nor your body--possibly couldn't take it any longer.

Leaving another love bite, your hands were now on his back, nails clawing at his skin as you bit back. It was obvious you were just about ready to hit your climax, but you had no will to break your silence.

"Ben..." You breathed, Ben leaving a third mark, then as he marked you for the fourth time you broke. Your body vibrated and your legs grew tired from being around his waist.

"Who's the louder one now?" Ben teased as you groaned, legs falling down as Ben muffled his moan against your skin before removing himself and lying beside you. Staring at the ceiling as either of you tried catching your breaths, you smiled.

"We didn't get caught..."

"Thank the heavens or I'm sure your father would've murdered me." Ben said as he rolled himself over, an arm draping over you as he kissed your shoulder. 

"Good thing the door's locked." You grinned at him, resting a hand on his cheek before giving him a small kiss.

"At least they didn't hear us." Ben pointed out.

"Come on, let's sleep." Getting under the covers, Ben wrapped his arms around you, resting his head against your shoulder as your chin lied on top of his head, an arm draping over him. Leaving a kiss on top of his head, you smiled, "Goodnight, my sunshine."

Grinning, Ben mumbled against your chest before leaving a sweet kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, my moonlight."

. . .

" _Y/n! Honey, wake up! We need to get your party ready!_ " Jumping up in your spot, realizing you were now being spooned by Ben, his face lost in your hair, you quickly sat up and pulled your sheets to your chest.

"Ben, babe..." Rocking him, you panicked as you heard knocking on your door. "Ben, please...Benny wake up..."

"Mm..." He moaned, you rolling your eyes.

"Ben, get up." Poking his cheek, he swatted a hand.

"Mm..." Fluttering his eyes open, he smiled at the sight of you, sitting there and holding your bed sheet to your chest. "I had this really vivid dream last night that I actually saw you naked for the first time-"

"Now is not the time to be turned on when my moms at the door!" You whispered, pointing at the door.

"Wha-"

" _Y/n! Wake up!_ " She called out, Ben's eyes widening as you shoved him off of your bed.

"Hey! What the-"

"Grab your clothes!" You pointed, Ben groaning and doing so. Standing up and grabbing your underwear, pulling it on and covering yourself with your arms, you frantically grabbed a pajama set and pulled it on.

"Babe, the marks on your neck!" Ben pointed, your eyes widening.

"Ugh!" Pulling on a sweater and using your hair to cover as much as you could, your mother knocked again.

" _Sweetie_ -"

"I'm awake!" You called out to her. "Ben, you need to hide!" You whispered to him, swatting a hand.

"Where?!" Holding his clothing around his lower half, you walked over and shoved him into the bathroom. "I need to leave."

"You can't leave through the balcony, people will see you-"

"No one told you to sleep in!" Ben pointed a finger.

"No one told you not to wake up early!" You fired back.

"Dammit, y/n-"

"Don't blame me! Look, I'll find a way, you just stay quiet and in there." Shutting the door before Ben could protest, you walked over and opened the main one. "Hey, mom..." Looking down and seeing Cosmo and Jupiter walk in, your mother shook her head.

"These two were waiting outside your door." She said. "Breakfast is ready, when you're done, we need to start decorating."

"Okay." Nodding your head, you heard Jupiter meowing, looking over and seeing her claw at the bathroom door. _No, bad Jupiter!_ You thought.

"What is she-"

"I'll meet you downstairs!" Waving, you shut the door and locked it once again. Walking over to Jupiter, you picked her up. "You're supposed to be quiet!" Pointing at the cat as you opened the bathroom door, Ben stood there in the jumpsuit, it being halfway opened.

"So, how am I getting out?" He asked as you placed Jupiter on your bed, Cosmo jumping on Ben's leg. "Hey, bud-"

"The twins balcony! We can try and get you down from there!" Grabbing his hand before he could pet Cosmo, you tugged him out.

Making sure the coast was clear, you pulled Ben into your brothers room, only to hear your dad. "Y/n-"

Jumping, you instantly shut your brothers door. "Yeah?"

"Should I be a vampire again or Michael Myers?" He asked as you quickly answered.

"Michael, you did vampire last year."

"Alright, whatever you say-" Before he could finish, you rushed into your brothers room. "Kiddo...damn kids these days."

"Jeez, you're so rough with me." Ben said as you walked over to the balcony doors and opened them. "Shoving me into rooms like it's all good."

"Oh, hush, I do it because I have to." Walking back over, you pulled him to the balcony.

"Y/n, I can't go down there, I'll break something!" He pointed. "There's no trellis."

"Ugh, Ben!" You whined.

"Can't I just go out the front? Distract your parents somehow." He shrugged as you sighed.

" _Fine_." Walking back into your brothers room, you shut the balcony door. "You better be stealthy."

"Yes, let me turn into some sort of ninja." Giving him a look, Ben rolled his eyes. "Don't look at me like that-"

"Just be careful, go when my parents aren't looking." Exiting the room, you went back to yours and grabbed your phone, then went downstairs. "Hey, I have a video of the haunted house that I wanted to show you." Pulling your parents into the kitchen and opening up the video on your phone, Be quietly walked out of the twins room and moved down the stairs.

"Oh, that's rather frightening..." Your mother narrowed her brows, your parents focused on the video as you looked over your shoulder to see Ben aiming for the front door.

"Poe looks like he's about to crap his pants!" Your father laughed, you faking one as you saw Ben carefully exit after waving at you.

"And that's that!" Locking your phone, your parents called out.

"Hey, it wasn't done-"

"I realized I need to take Cosmo out, sorry!" Rushing back up stairs, you went to grab Cosmo before rushing back down and exiting the house, your parents exchanging confused looks.

Hoping Ben was still out there, you rushed out, nearly shivering from the cold air as your slippers brushed against the ground. Holding Cosmo in your arm, you darted over to where Ben had his car and smiled the second you saw him standing there, waiting. "I knew you'd come out to say bye." He smiled as you walked closer.

"Of course I would." Coming to a stop, you grinned.

"And you brought our son." He teased as you chuckled.

"Yes, he wanted to say goodbye as well." Lifting the pup up, Cosmo licked Ben's face.

Grabbing on, Ben kissed the pups forehead. The small dog had easily fit inside of one of Ben's hands which made you gasp. "I'll be back in a few hours, buddy." Rubbing under Cosmos chin, Ben smiled again.

"Okay, okay come on, I gotta start decorating." Taking the puppy from his hold, Ben only rested a hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you.

"I'll see you later." He spoke into the kiss before leaving a small one after.

"Get home safe." You said, watching Ben lean back, hand slipping from your face as he moved back to his car. "Okay?"

"Okay." He sweetly smiled before getting into his car.

Watching him drive off, you felt your heart swell up. You had felt so much for this boy.

. . .

"I can't believe we did it!" You nearly shrieked, standing amongst your small group, eyeing the group photo. "El, Will, Lucas and Dustin!" Smiling as you pointed them out, Rey, Finn and Poe eyed the image.

"All we're missing is a Mike and this would be perfect." Finn pointed out as Poe nodded.

"I'm sure we'll get a Mike." He said as you looked up.

"Poe, no one is gonna be Mike." You shook your head.

"There are a lot of people here, you don't know that." Poe shrugged. "And some still haven't arrived..."

"Yeah, okay, cause someone's gonna wanna dress up like Mike all on their own." You scoffed, locking your phone and slipping it into the jacket you were wearing. Of course you did the most obvious El look, blonde wig and all, you _had_ to make it perfect.

"We need our Mike, where's our Mike?" Rey asked.

"You guys swear there's going to be a Mike as if someone is going to be-" Looking away from the group, your eyes landed on your front door as someone walked in, "Mike!"

"Told you we'd get our Mike." Poe smirked as you stared at Ben in awe.

Darting over to Ben, you fought back the urge to kiss him, only to pull him into a tight embrace. "You dressed up!" You grinned as Ben hugged back, smiling.

"I had to, you guys needed a Mike and...well, I wanted to make you happy." Looking up at him as he was already looking at you, your cheeks burned.

"I really could kiss you right now. I really could." Letting go of him, you grabbed his hand.

"Give it a bit, then I'll steal you away." He winked as you shook your head and pulled him to the group.

"We've officially gained a Mike!" You exclaimed as the group chat.

"Glad you actually took Poe's idea." Finn spoke.

"Ben just needed the shirt and he was good." Rey spoke, patting her brothers arm.

"I'm so happy! This is the best halloween party and it's just begun!" You shrieked in excitement.

"Well, lets prove that right!" Poe nodded, joining the rest of the party in your backyard.

The rest of the evening was spent as a group, playing games, messing around and overall having fun. Of course, every chance Ben could, he'd steal kisses from you when no one was looking or when you two were hidden.

"So, you invited nearly everyone but-"

"Why would I?" You looked up at Ben, the two of you in the kitchen, sipping on your cups. "He doesn't deserve to be around us. Maybe in the future I'll be more civil, but, for now...he can rot." You simply shrugged as Ben's brows raised.

"That's hot."

"Ben!" You swatted his chest as you laughed. "Gosh, you're so odd."

"And you enjoy it." He grinned, holding your chin and kissing you.

"Fina-fucking-ly!" Hearing a third voice, you jumped, shoving Ben away. "I knew it, I knew it was happening! I _knew_ you two were a thing." Phasma pointed as you shook your head.

"Uh, no, we're-"

"We're not-"

"Save it, your secrets safe with me." At that, she winked and walked off.

Looking up at Ben, you sighed, "First Poe, then Finn, now Phasma? Who's next?"

"Let's not jinx that..." Ben shook his head, placing his cup down. "By the way, you look good with that hair." He smirked as you rolled your eyes.

"Shut up, the one that works the blonde wig here is you." Winking at him, you walked over to the patio doors.

"Which I need back! You still have it in your room with the glasses!"

. . .

"I still can't get over the fact that you dressed up last night. That was so unexpected!" You cheered, sitting across from Ben in his bedroom as either of you waited for his parents. "You looked great."

"You looked better." He winked as you shook your head. "I told you you were Eleven."

"And I told you that you were Mike." You grinned, standing up from your spot on his bed and walking over to him on his rolling chair. "Honestly, you're so great." Turning his attention away from his desk as he had been sketching in his journal, you moved his chair enough so you could straddle him.

"Y/n, anyone can walk in-"

"Shh...I'm just kissing you." Kissing his cheek, then his chin, you bit his bottom lip.

"This isn't _just_ kissing me when you're turning me on." He mumbled, holding your waist as you gently pressed your lips against his soft ones.

"When aren't you turned on?" You chuckled, leaning back.

"Whenever you're not around or your underwear isn't in reach." He faked a pout as you shoved him.

"Of course." Standing up, Rey then barged in.

"Hello, yeah, I'd like my best friend back!" Walking up to you, she tugged you out as you waved to Ben, blowing him a kiss.

The moment you left Ben's sight, he sighed, remembering that--in fact--you were best friends with his sister as well and basically had to 'share' you. Which meant whenever she was home, Rey was going to constantly take you away.

Which is probably why Ben constantly messed with you under the table that evening when dinner was served as you joined his family to eat. If he wasn't brushing his fingers along your exposed thigh, he'd give it a small squeeze or even move his fingers dangerously close to your inner thigh. Sometimes he'd even grab your knee and just bring his hands all the way up until he hit your hip.

You hated it, but, you loved it. It sent chills throughout your body and made things much more interesting when you had to keep quiet. So, of course, you did the same to him. Except, you actually _touched_ him. And boy if Ben wasn't suffering.

"Thank you for having me for dinner." You smiled, saying your goodbyes to Han and Leia, as well as Luke since he had joined.

"Anytime, sweetie." Leia smiled as she had hugged you.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Rey said, giving you a hug as well.

"Get her home, safe and in one piece." Han pointed a finger at Ben.

"Will do." At that, the two of you left.

The entire car ride back to your house, you held onto Ben's hand as you leaned your head on his shoulder, enjoying the newfound music he had been playing on his tape while he gently hummed along. It was something so simple, yet, so lovely.

"I find it amazing how, in the span of one week, you've done more for _and_ with me than Hux ever had. And you and I aren't even official or anything, we're just...sneaking around." You spoke as Ben had parked by the sidewalk in front of your house. "I'm honestly so happy."

"If you're happy then I'm beyond ecstatic. Y/n, I've wanted to be with you for four years and I finally have you. It's unbelievable." Ben admitted, kissing the back of your hand as you smiled at him, pushing some of his hair behind his ear and brushing your fingers through.

"Well, then it was worth the wait." Leaning against his cars hood, you pulled him into a kiss, lips carefully moving against one another as Ben held your waist, wanting nothing more but for the moment to leave an imprint. For your lips to linger against his own for as long as they could.

"God, I have so much love to give you. I can't wait to really make you mine, to not have to hide it. You've become my world." He spoke against your lips, pressing another kiss before you spoke, hands in his hair.

"At this point, I couldn't care less of what people think. I _want_ to be yours." You said, leaning back and looking him in the eye. "And I want you to be mine."


	38. Single

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahead | Chapter's Song: Single by The Neighbourhood

Lying on his back, an arm draped over his waist as his other had been lying on the bed, Ben felt a sudden pressure on his hips. Scrunching up his eyebrows, he felt something gently caress his face, causing his eyes to open. "Good morning, sunshine." You smiled down at him. "You've gotta go back home."

Groaning, Ben used one hand to rub his face as his other lied on your thigh. "Fuck...my parents are probably wondering where the hell I am..."

"You told them you were staying at Poe's, don't you remember?" You asked, looking down at him.

"No...I was too caught up in us to remember anything else." He smiled, looking up at you and lying his other hand on your other thigh. "If I keep staying the night I might as well move in." He teased as you rolled your eyes.

"As tempting as that sounds, you can't. Or else my parents, my _father_ , will be very suspicious." You nodded, holding onto his cheeks now, leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose.

"Well, you've gotta stay over my place then. As much as I love your bed, I miss my own." He hinted, trailing his fingers up and down the skin of your thigh.

"Fair enough, but I'm not climbing anything to get into your room." You pointed a finger.

"Well, unlike you, I don't have a balcony so I'm just gonna have to sneak you in carefully." He winked as you grinned.

"I'll be waiting for that adventure." Grabbing onto his hands, you interlocked your fingers. "Wait, Rey wants me to sleep over one of these days...maybe then I can sneak into your room when she's knocked out." You nodded and Ben smiled.

"Perfect." Pulling you down, he wrapped his arms around you. "Can we skip school."

"No," You chuckled. "It's Halloween!" Jumping up, you gasped. "It's Halloween...we need to do something."

"I've got a few ideas in mind, but you'll have to wait till after school." Ben spoke, reaching up and holding your face, you grabbing his wrists.

"Okay..."

. . .

Throughout the entire school day you felt as if eyes had been on you. At first, you thought you were imagining it, but whenever you looked over your shoulder in chemistry you saw Hux glaring.

You were well aware that eventually he'd start assuming things and jumping to conclusions, but you didn't think it'd be _this_ soon. It wasn't like you and Ben were all that obvious minus the constant look exchange. Had Hux caught either of you? _You're being paranoid_. But your paranoia was slowly being proven right when Hux continuously eyed you and Ben in disgust.

He wasn't having it, not one bit. He didn't take the breakup well and he was raging. It was clear to him that you had moved on, but it wasn't clear to _you_ that Hux hadn't.

Hux was bitter and envious. The fact that he had cheated was a mere thought, all he could think about was the fact that you liked someone else and wanted them _instead_.

Leaving his second to last class rather quickly, Ben had told you he had to check up on Kylo since the cat was his responsibility and Ben hadn't been home all night or morning. Which was all a big lie, Ben had somewhere else to go.

"You're a real bastard, Solo!" Stopping in his tracks, Ben sighed. "You can't think this'll work out, do you?!"

Turning in his spot, Ben rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Hux?"

"You took her from me! You took y/n from me! She was mine! But you just had to come back and take her away because you're a selfish asshole!" Hux cried out, furious as ever. "It was always you! She should've loved me instead, it should've been me getting all the attention, but it was impossible when she liked you instead!" Staring at him, Ben stood there, quiet. "Even when you were gone she wanted you! And now that your back, all she wanted was you and to be with you and not me!"

"What do you want me to do about it?" Ben asked, with no intentions of getting a response.

"You-you fucking imbecile!" Hux gritted his teeth. "She shouldn't want you! She should want me! I was the one who loved her first!"

"But you never showed it to her. One thing is to say it, another is to show it." Ben simply spoke. "And none of that excuses your actions of cheating on her, Hux. That's something you can never take back."

Clenching his hands, Hux snarled, balled fist instantly coming  into contact with Ben's cheek and causing the young man to grunt. "I love her and would never want to harm her in any way but when she loves another person I can't force her to love me!"

Standing there, feeling the stinging in his cheek as Ben processed Hux's words, his mind was focused on the words 'loves another person'. "You should have loved her when you had her. Now, someone else will do it instead." Walking off, Hux watched with watery eyes, knuckles throbbing as a scream built up in his throat.

Exiting the school building and walking down the main steps, Ben came to a stop at the bottom and processed the moment. You hadn't said the three words yet, but, did you feel them? He didn't expect you to say it any time soon, not with what happened with Hux, but...was it there? Did you feel it in your heart like Ben had?

He had only hope to count on and Hux's words to hold onto.

. . .

Caught up in your studies, you were startled out of your seat and jumped as the dismissal bell rang. "Jeez..."

"You okay?" Rey asked, looking at you as you nodded. "I've got plans with Poe and his gang, I'll see you tomorrow." Standing from her seat, she walked over and hugged you before waving goodbye.

"Have fun!" You called out, gathering your things and standing. Pulling out your phone, you saw a message from Ben. **_Came back, I'm in the parking lot waiting_**. Smiling, you rushed out of the library and aimed for the main entrance of the school.

Rushing down the steps, constantly pushing your skirt down no thanks to the wind, you stopped midway and searched for his car, only to see him leaning against the passenger door. Gasping the slightest as you could see something in his hold, you bolted over.

"Hello!" You popped up, beaming at Ben as he smiled back.

"Hey." Lifting his hand up, he had a small bouquet of sunflowers. "I know your favorites are pink roses but, I thought sunflowers would be nice coming from your sunshine." Reaching out his arm, you grabbed the bouquet and shrieked.

"Ben, that's so cute!" You jumped. "I love them, they're beautiful, thank you." Just about ready to kiss him, you stopped yourself. "Uh...so, is that where you went?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "I also decided to _actually_ check up on Kylo, and Chewie as well."

"You're a true gift, Ben Solo." Eyeing the flowers, you gently touched them.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date." He spoke, you instantly looking up. "I did say I had something planned. The old drive-in, Tosche Drive-In, is holding an old horror film marathon and I thought you'd like that-"

"Yes!" You instantly exclaimed. "Yes, please." Nodding your head, Ben laughed.

"Okay, well, we can go now and then get food after." Leaning away from the car, he opened the door.

"In our school uniform?" You asked as Ben shrugged.

"Yeah, why not?" Looking over at him, you hadn't realized he had removed his tie, unbuttoned a few buttons and even rolled up his sleeves. Somehow he wasn't cold. "You look cute."

Blushing at his comment as he had looked over his shoulder, you looked down. You, for once, had pantyhose on rather than your knee socks or thigh highs. "And you look hot." You let slip, only to blush even more as Ben stopped in his tracks for a moment, then proceeding to go to the driver's seat.

Quickly getting inside and hoping the redness on your cheeks would leave, you kept your focus ahead, only for Ben to kiss your cheek. "I love it when you blush. Let's me know that even a little demon like you still has some angel in her."

Rolling your eyes, you grinned, interlocking your fingers with his own as you grabbed his hand. "Likewise, Solo."

. . .

Sitting in Ben's car, waiting for him to come back with popcorn, you watched the current movie they had been playing that the two of you came midway through--Creature from the Black Lagoon. Leaning forward, against his dashboard, your focus was so glued on the large screen that you hadn't noticed Ben returned until he spoke. "So-"

"Ben!" You jumped, looking over and seeing him laughing as he held the popcorn. "That's so not funny, you don't sneak up on people watching horror films!" Swatting his chest, Ben shook his head.

"Aw, come on, I did not sneak!" Ben shrieked, you rolling your eyes and snatching the popcorn before pressing yourself up against him. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Hmph." You hummed, eating the popcorn and returning your focus on the screen.

Sighing, Ben wrapped an arm over your shoulders, pulled you closer and lied your legs over his own. If you could, you'd fall asleep then and there, but you weren't about to pass up classic horror films for sleep.

Finding yourself nearly scarfing down the popcorn as you watched the movies in such awe, Ben couldn't help but watch you instead. You were far more entertaining with the way your brows raised, nose scrunched up and lips pursed every now and then. Even when you gasped or groaned. He loved every bit of it.

"You are so damn cute." Ben broke his silence, kissing the top of your head as you grinned.

"Random, but I appreciate." You shrugged.

"Not random, the things you do while watching a movie are cute." Grabbing your chin, Ben pressed his lips against your cheek rather roughly as your face was being squashed up in his hold. "So, so cute."

"Ugh, Ben." You mumbled, lips being smushed up with the way he held your chin.

"You are so precious, babe." He mumbled against your cheek. "And so cute."

"Ben, you sound drunk."

"Nah, I'm just really in love with you." Instantly blushing, you tried smiling but barely could with how he held you. "My sweet little sunflower."

"Now you're just being cheesy." Grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away, you turned your head to face him. "Lover boy." Leaning in, you kissed him, Ben smiling into it before he pulled you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist as you sat the bucket of popcorn on your seat. Moving your lips against his, you had one hand on his cheek and the other on the back of his neck.

Completely forgetting about the movies, the two of you found your entertainment elsewhere, within one another--almost literally with the way your tongues interacted. Sliding his hands up along your sides, untucking your blouse, Ben's fingers gently brushed against the skin of your back and made you shiver.

Tugging at his hair as your body tingled, you parted from the heated kiss and rested your forehead against him. "I'm hungry." You said, chuckling.

"Me too, damn..." Ben grinned, leaning in and kissing you again, bringing your bottom lip in between his teeth and gently sucking before letting go. "I nearly forgot about the popcorn."

"That's okay, you were clearly hungry for me." You teased, kissing one end of his lips before moving off of him. "I'm in the mood for Jabba's, can we have Jabba's?"

"Anything for you, babydoll." He winked as you rolled your eyes, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss as he was about to shift gears in the car.

"You keep calling me that and I'm just about to have to wear skirts only." You spoke, Ben shrugging.

"I honestly would not mind, especially since you rarely wear sh-"

"Shut up and buy me pizza."

. . .

"Probably never mentioned this to you but when the guys and I first made KOR we snuck into some little music show they were doing at some bar. It was for small, underground bands and they had little segments and we were able to sneak a spot in and replace a band that never showed up. We were, of course, caught but they let us slide because the crowd loved us." Ben shrugged as he sat across from you, you bitting on your straw as you chuckled.

"So rebellious." You wiggled your eyebrows as Ben smiled, shaking his head. "When was this?"

"I wanna say three years ago? Definitely ninth grade..." Ben narrowed his eye as he thought. "We were a mess but people liked it so it worked."

"Clearly, I mean, I love you guys." You grinned with a nod as Ben smiled again. "You guys should have band practice and invite me." You winked as Ben sniggered.

"Glad my lover supports my underground band." Ben spoke before finishing up his pizza slice. "But, sure. We haven't had one in a while because of school and me moving."

"Please!" You begged. "I'd love to see it up close and personal. And this time, don't tell your band I'm not your type when clearly I'm the epitome of Ben Solo's type." Pointing a finger, Ben only laughed and grabbed it, pulling your hand closer as he then kissed the back of it.

"You definitely are my type, babe." Sliding his hand into your own, you sweetly smiled at him, watching him as he drank his water. The feelings you felt for him were so strong and beautiful that you wanted to puke.

Spending the rest of the time there talking about nonsense that made either of you laugh, the two of you left the restaurant and aimed back home. Parking his car out in front of your house, the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the tape as you leaned against Ben.

It was a soft moment, in the sense that he was holding your hand, thumb rubbing the back of it as you rested your head against his shoulder. Enjoying his warmth as the cool air made you shiver, the low music hummed in your ears. You wouldn't change the moment for anything.

Taking in a deep breath as he felt his heart fluttering rather quickly, he swallowed. "Y/n?"

"Yeah?" You responded, looking out the front window and up at the night sky.

"I know...I know it's almost been two weeks since you left Hux-" Sitting up, you looked at him, "and I know you don't want to rush into anything but I...I feel so strongly for you and...I love you and I've waited four years for this and I think that's a sufficient amount..." Looking at him as Ben kept his focus on the steering wheel, you studied him, the way his adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed to the way he bit his bottom lip.

"Yeah?" Feeling your heart race, almost sure of where this was leading up to, Ben nervously looked at you.

"Would you-" Nearly choking on his words, he cleared his throat, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Feeling a wide grin grow on your face, you eagerly nodded. "Yeah, yes." You laughed. "I know I said to wait but I honestly can't wait any longer so yes, yes I'll be your girlfriend!" Engulfing him in a hug as Ben sat there stunned, unsure of what to do, you kissed his cheek multiple times.

"I...okay, wow." He breathed. "Don't know why that was really hard but thank you." Hugging you back, Ben grinned.

"Thank you? Ben, thank _you_. I'm so glad you came back, you don't know how much happier I am." You muttered, taking in a deep breath.

Blushing, Ben's grip around you tightened. "I'm glad this worked out well. I wanted to ask today since it's your favorite holiday."

Leaning back, you gasped. "Ben, you are so adorable." Kissing him, you couldn't help but smile into it. "So perfect..." Hugging him again, you nuzzled your face into his neck.

Letting out a breath in relief, Ben kissed the side of your head. "I love you so much," He nearly whispered. "My moonlight."

. . .

For once, you couldn't stop smiling. The constant thought of you and Ben actually being official ran around in your mind. You were happy. Actually, you were beyond happy. It was unbelievable that you even felt such way. It felt new. It felt beautiful and it felt so pure.

You just couldn't believe it took four years to get to this point.

Sitting beside Ben in chemistry, his hand on your knee as you held on, the two of you read over the chapter and took some notes as the class sat quietly. Looking over, the twins--Alex and Mason--exchanged looks. They were smiling. It was about time something good happened between you and Ben, even if Alex liked you. Your happiness came first than anything.

"At least she's with Ben instead." Mason whispered to his twin. "Far better than Hux."

"Hux is a pile of crap, he cheated on y/n and no one does that to her." Alex bitterly spoke, his twin looking over at him. "Sorry, you just don't." Smiling, Mason nodded. He knew his twin still liked you, but that didn't stop him from supporting you.

Biting his pencil rather viciously, Hux glared at the two of you. He watched, seeing Ben push some of your lose hair behind your ear, the way you smiled at him, the way the two of you would lowly laugh. He was full of envy. He couldn't believe he was watching someone else enjoy you.

Gritting his teeth and nearly snapping his pencil in half, the bell had rung, the two of you instantly getting up and walking out. Following the two of you, not caring if he would be late to his next class, he hid behind a corner.

There you two stood, leaning against the wall next to your history class, looking up at Ben as he smiled down at you. Exchanging a few words, Ben grabbed your hand and kissed it as you grinned. Lowering your hand, he held your chin and brushed his thumb against your bottom lip. Growling, Hux held tightly onto the straps of his school bag.

Watching your lips move as words were said, you looked around, only to look back at Ben and nod. Leaning down, Hux gasped at the sight of Ben kissing you, only for you two to walk into your class as if it were no big deal. "You don't know what's coming for you, Solo."

. . .

"You know, the only person who doesn't know about us is Rey..." You trailed, sitting beside Ben on his couch, twirling some of his hair around your finger. "Well, neither do your parents."

"And we're going to keep it like that until we think it's time." He spoke, keeping his focus on the television screen.

"Yeah, but now that we're official...she'll soon find out." You sighed, lowering your hand and resting your forearm on his shoulder.

"I know...but it isn't like we made it public yet." Looking over at you, Ben grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it--something he grew to love doing. "I'm sure she'll find out soon enough. Just...not yet."

Nodding your head, you lightly smiled before moving to sit on his lap. "You know that's not going to be pretty when she does..." You said, trailing your finger along his jaw as he sighed.

"I'm well aware...but what can she do? She can't stop us from being together." Looking over at you, Ben rested a hand on your lower back while his other fiddled with the material of your thigh high socks.

"I know that..." Leaning in and kissing his cheek, you smiled. "I wouldn't let anyone stop us from being together. It'll take some time, but eventually she'll accept it." You nodded as Ben looked at you, eyeing your face.

"I hope so." He softly spoke, you moving to straddle him as you held his face.

"She will, she can't possibly hate us forever. In the end, you are her brother and I am her best friend." Reassuring him, you then leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips.

Moving his hands onto your hips, he hummed into the kiss as he kissed back. "That is very true. Either way, I finally have you and I'm not losing you." Moving his hands onto the back of your head, he pulled you back into the kiss, except this time with force.

Moving your lips against his, it became sloppy and breathless, you nearly giggling into it with how hungry Ben seemed. But, you didn't mind, you enjoyed it and it wasn't like you could kiss him much during school.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pressing yourself up against him, Ben's hands moved down to your thighs, squeezing them. Taking in a breath every chance you got, your hands got tangled up in his hair as his own slid up the back of your thighs, under your skirt and held tightly onto your rear.

Too engrossed in your kissing to even pay attention to your surroundings, gently tugging at Ben's hair as his hands moved onto your hips to bring you even closer, a sudden shriek cut your fun. "BEN?!" A voice called out, startling you. "Y/N?!"

Separating from the messy kiss, you looked over to see Rey standing there with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. "Rey..." You softly called out.

"Oh my gosh..." She whispered, Han and Leia walking in shortly after.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Leia asked, only to look over and see you and Ben, your lipstick all over Ben's lips. "Oh..." She raised her brows, but wasn't shocked. She did already know you two were a thing.

"It's about damn time the two of you ended up together." Han shook his head as Ben blushed, Rey's mouth closing as her eyebrows narrowed.

"Rey?" You called out again, but she shook her head and stormed up the stairs. "Rey?!" Removing yourself from Ben, you quickly went up the stairs. "Rey, wait!" Seeing her slam the door, you ran up and opened it.

"Ugh, dammit!" She grunted, not quick enough to lock the door.

"Please, let me explain-"

"Explain what?! That you're seeing my brother?! Behind my back?! After just leaving Hux?!" She nearly shouted as you frowned.

"Rey, please...hear me out-"

"I can't believe this! You two?! Why?!" She whined.

"Rey, I really like your brother. I have, since I first met him. I've liked him since and for four years now and I never wanted to admit to it because he was gone and there was no point."

"What about Hux, huh?" She crossed her arms.

"I liked Hux, too...but not as much as Ben. And I didn't know that until Ben came back. Rey, your brother...he...he loves me. He's admitted to it so many times to me and I...I've never felt the way I have with him, with Hux. Ben loves me, Rey. He loves me in ways Hux could never and I...I feel it, too." You nodded with a small smile. "I told him we couldn't be in a relationship...not when I just left Hux but...but I don't care. Hux cheated on me and Ben _loves_ me. Why would I want to wait to be with someone who truly appreciates me?"

"Since when..." Rey mumbled.

"Since when did he like me?" You asked as Rey nodded. "Since we first met." You smiled. "And he hasn't stopped...and neither have I."

"You really like him?" She questioned as you nodded. "Like, a lot?"

"Yes."

"More than Hux?"

"Most definitely."

"My brother and my best friend..." Rey muttered.

"Rey, you'll always be my best friend and nothing will replace that...okay? I know I've been giving so much attention to Ben but that's because I was trying to uncover feelings I had hidden for so long." You admitted. "But, I really do adore him and I want to be with him." You said as you softly smiled, Rey letting out a small breath. "Rey, he asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday...on Halloween. Tell me that isn't pretty damn cute, especially when it's my favorite holiday."

Sighing, Rey rolled her eyes, "I guess that's nice...Ben does have a big heart even if he's a big idiot."

"But, he's your brother, and you know no one could love me better than someone you fully trust. And you know no one could treat your brother better than your own best friend." You nodded as you grabbed her hands.

"I suppose..." She breathed. "So, a day?"

"Well, a little over a week...but that was just us, you know, kissing and stuff..." You blushed as Rey shook her head. "But, yes, a day since he asked me."

"I see..." Rey nodded.

"We weren't going to make it public until you knew. Poe and Finn walked in on us at separate times..." You chuckled as Rey shook her head again, but laughed. "But now that you know..."

"Fine, fine, you can make it public. I may just cringe and vomit until I get used to it, but...I guess it's okay. As long as you two are happy...then I should be, too." Squealing, you pulled Rey into a tight embrace. "But don't think you can abandon me! You come here, you hangout with me, too!" She pointed a finger as you had leaned back.

"Of course!" You nodded.

"Good...well, I guess you should go tell mom and dad, they'll be more than happy that Ben's dating a girl that's worth it." Rey gestured as you smiled.

"Thank you, Rey." You smiled wholeheartedly, giving her one last hug before rushing off.

Seeing you walk down the stairs, Ben rushed to you. "So?" He questioned as you grinned with a nod. "Oh, thank the stars." Pulling you into a hug before you could get off the last step, Han and Leia exchanged looks.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say Ben finally said the three words." Han snickered. "It's about damn time, kiddo."

"Han..." Leia swatted his arm, only to gasp and grow wide eyed. "Wait, what?!"

"Oops, did I forget to mention that?" Han said as he looked at her, Ben kissing your cheek before letting you down, holding your hand.

"Ben, you said...you said! You said it?!" Leia shrieked as Ben grew red in the face.

"Yes, he did." You smiled, squeezing his hand.

"Aw, my Ben! I'm so happy and so proud!" Walking over, Leia pulled both of you into a hug. "Finally..."

"Thanks, mom..." Ben mumbled.

"I couldn't be anymore happier for that two of you." She breathed, smiling into the hug.

Hugging her back, the two of you spoke in sync, "Neither can we."

. . .

"Phasma, Phasma!" Rushing past the small groups piled about in the hall, Alex tried catching his breath.

"Yes, little one?" She raised a brow.

"Y/n and Ben...have you seen them?" He asked with a wide grin as she furrowed her eyebrows. "I'll take that as a no." Grabbing her hand, Alex tugged his stepsister along with him, over to a different hall. "Look!" He pointed, Phasma instantly growing wide eyed.

"They made it public..." She whispered, watching in awe.

"They really must not care about what others think." Alex said, seeing the two of you walking hand in hand along the hall, Ben saying something to you as he smiled while you looked up and laughed.

"And they shouldn't." Phasma grinned, crossing her arms. "They deserve this. It's about time."

"I have work right after school ends and I have to drop off my car to get an oil change." Ben spoke, looking back ahead. "So I sadly can't take you home today."

"That's okay, I'll leave with Rey." You nodded. "I owe her that."

"That is true, I have taken you away a lot." Looking back over at you, you sighed. "You guys can spend the afternoon together without me bugging, it'll be good." He smiled as you smiled back.

"Yeah, that's true." You nodded, Ben leaning over and kissing the top of your head.

"Let's get to class." He said as the two of you walked off, completely missing an angry redhead standing nearby and watching with fire in his eyes. Hux wasn't having it, not one bit, and now that you made it public after only two weeks of leaving him--he was enraged.

Seething in his spot, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number, instantly walking away as they picked up.

For the rest of the day, there was nothing but whispers and stares your way--not the uncomfortable kind, actually, they were all amazed. They expected you to be hurt and away from being in a relationship after being cheated on, but seeing you with Ben, things were different. It wasn't much of a surprise, the surprise was that you two seemed madly in love. Which only made sense if you were best friends, you would already know one another very well.

"So they made it public, huh?" Poe spoke, standing beside Finn and Rey as they watched the two of you at the bottom of the steps from one of the staircases.

"Good, I hate that I had to walk in on them." Finn said.

"You, too?" Poe asked as Finn nodded.

"I did as well." Rey rolled her eyes. "Absolutely traumatizing, Ben's face was covered in her lipstick."

"Traumatizing?" Poe shook his head. "Ben was holding onto her chest like a damn door knob!"

"You call that traumatizing? Psht! I saw Ben's hand up her dress! In her und-"

"I don't need to know!" Rey exclaimed, covering her ears. "Blah blah blah!"

"Finn by far had it the worst." Poe chuckled, turning his attention back to the two of you, Ben kissing you goodbye before leaving, you waving and then leaning against the wall. "But I'm glad they're happy. Always knew she was too good for Hux."

"He definitely didn't deserve her." Finn crossed his arms as Rey watched you watch Ben as he left, a smile on your lips as you but your bottom lip.

"But Ben does." She spoke. "He makes her happy, it's obvious. And she makes him happy." Rey nodded. "That's what matters. That he treats her right." Looking at Rey, Finn and Poe watched her approach you, the two of you hugging before walking off.

"This is great, this feels great! Hux is out of the picture and my two best friends are dating! Things can only go up from here." Poe said, lying a hand on Finns shoulder as Finn nodded in agreement.

Dropping his car off, Ben made sure to bring his skateboard and change into his work uniform, changing in the bathroom and leaving his school clothing in the trunk. The repair shop wasn't too far off from Maz's, a good fifteen minutes so by skating it wouldn't take any longer than half an hour. Of course, if nothing got in the way.

Skating along the sidewalk, moving around people and crossing roads, Ben kicked up the board as the diner came into view. Walking the rest of the way, the sound of multiple car doors shutting caught his attention. Looking over, he narrowed his brows, a pair of men--easily as big as himself, maybe a bit shorter--walked over.

Looking away and quickening up his pace, he felt himself panicking. He was thinking too deep into it, but the situation didn't sit well with him. His gut was yelling at him, for him to make a run for it, but before he could, someone popped from around a corner.

Nearly jumping in his spot, Ben was thrown off as a fist collided with his jaw, a grunt leaving his lips as his skateboard slid from his grip. "Ben Solo, huh?" The man who punched him spoke. "Looks about it." Grabbing onto Ben's collar, Ben went for a swing but completely missed when he was tossed back, a pair of men catching him and holding him tight in their arms.

"What the hell do you want from me?" He spat, blood dripping from his lip as he thrashed around. They clearly were far more stronger than he was.

"We take care of those who take care of us." The man spoke, brushing his knuckles. "And you did a friend of ours real dirty."

"What are you talking ab-" Before he could finish, the man slammed his fist into Ben's stomach, knocking the air out of him as he coughed.

"One thing is to crush on someone else's girl, but to steal her away?" The man spoke in disgust as Ben panted, only to grunt as another blow was sent to his cheek, more blood spilling from his mouth. "That's a real dick move."

"Hux?! Are you talking about Hux?!" Ben breathed, another punch coming his way. "Fuck!" He wailed.

"You don't mess with a Hux and not expect some sort of punishment." The man spat, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a brass knuckle. Looking at the hand piece with wide eyes, Ben's heart skipped a beat. "And for you, kid, it's gonna be trauma."

Swinging his arm back, the brass material came crashing down, coming into contact with Ben's temple and knocking him unconscious. Tossing his body on to the ground, head colliding with the concrete, the trio left before anyone could see.

More than positive she heard shouting, Maz walked out the back and around the diner, eyes shifting around only to land on a figure on the ground. Gasping as she recognized the dark hair and skateboard, she shouted before pulling out her phone in her now trembling hand. "Ben?!


	39. Thinking Bout You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Thinking Bout You by Ariana Grande

"So, you and Ben, huh?" Sitting in the library, across from one another as you decided to study and finish up the homework you couldn't, Rey crossed her arms on her table. She couldn't help but think about how obvious it was, the fact that there was something in between you and Ben, but she never took the time to actually see it. In all honesty, deep down inside, she was in denial. Why would she want her best friend to date her brother? "He loves you..."

"Mhm..." You nodded with a smile, reviewing a few notes.

Seeing the redness on your cheeks, Rey shook her head with a small smile. "Not once were you like this with Hux."

"Like what?" You questioned, looking up and still wearing your grin.

"Like _that_." Rey pointed. "Blushing and smiling like crazy. Let alone, you get all... _mushy_. It's gross but at least I know the feelings are true." She shrugged as you rolled your eyes, letting out a small laugh. "You really like him."

"Yeah, I do." Unable to compose yourself, you shoved your face into the palm of your hands, nearly shrieking.

Shaking her head, Rey pulled up her bag and searched through it. "What have I done?" Snickering, she pulled out her phone only to narrow her brows.

Seeing the sudden change in expression, you leaned forward the slightest, eyebrows furrowed. "What is it?" You asked, Rey scrolling through a numerous amount of messages. "Rey?" Growing concerned, Rey's eyes widened. "Rey, what's going on?"

Suddenly getting a call, Rey picked it up. Seeing her eyes widen as she instantly stood up, she quickly turned and looked at you. "Ben's in the hospital."

"WHAT?!" You shouted, breaking the calmness of the library as everyone looked at you. "Rey, what do you mean he's in the hospital?! What happened?!" You frantically asked, as you stood up, instantly gathering your things.

"He's at the Resistance hospital, unconscious, apparently-" Not allowing her to finish, you grabbed your bag and ran out. "Y/n, wait!" She shouted but you were already out the door.

Feeling your heart racing, chest heaving as you ran as fast as you could, down the school halls and shoving the main doors open, tears formed in your eyes. The second the word 'unconscious' left Rey's lips, your heart skipped a beat. A sudden wave of 'what if's' had hit you. And the one that struck you the most was what if he was never going to wake up?

Darting along the sidewalk as tears formed in your eyes, school bag bouncing around as you held tightly onto the straps, your adrenaline had kicked in. You had been running faster than you had ever ran, faster than your legs could possibly go, and the exhaustion was kicking in. But you weren't willing to just stop when Ben's condition was haunting your mind.

"When the hell can I see my son?!" Han nearly shouted, standing outside the room Ben had been in. "My son is in there and you won't let me see him!" Grabbing onto his arm, Leia gently pulled him back as he panted.

"Sir, are you the father of the young man in there?" An officer spoke.

"Why else would I be yelling about my son?!" He snapped, Leia only clearing her throat. "Yes..."

"We have a few questions-"

"Do you think I know what happened?! He was on his way to work and his boss found him unconscious, bloodied and bruised on the ground! _I'd_ like to know who did this!" Han pointed a finger, nearly shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Honey, the officer can help us if you calm down." Leia spoke, laying a hand on Hans arm as he took in a deep breath. "Officer, we just want to know who would do this to him. He doesn't cause trouble, he keeps to himself, there's no way he would've brought this upon himself."

"For the time being, since your son is still unconscious, we can look at any footage or if there had been witnesses." The officer spoke with a nod. "If you can give me your information so I can keep in contact..."

"Yeah...yeah..." Han breathed as he moved to a side, rubbing his face while Leia turned back and eyed the room.

Rushing into the hospital as the doors slid open, you heavily breathed, looking around before rushing up to the main desk. "Wha-what room is Ben Solo in?" You stuttered.

"Ma'am, we can't give you-"

"I need to know where Ben Solo is!" You nearly shouted, security looking over. "I-I need-" Sprinting in, shortly behind, Rey walked up to you and grabbed your arms. "I NEED TO KNOW WHERE BEN IS!"

"Y/n, we will find him, but I need you to calm-"

"I can't calm down when I don't know if Ben is okay or not!" You cried.

Hearing the commotion, Leia looked over and rushed to you and Rey. "Sorry, they're with me." Getting a hold of you, wrapping an arm over your shoulder, she guided you along as Rey followed.

"Where is he?! I want to see him!" You whimpered, Leia instantly pulling you into an tight embrace as you cried. "Where is he..."

"He's still unconscious, they have him in a room and they're examining him." Leia calmly spoke, although clearly shaken up with the fresh tear stains and glossy eyes, she stroked your hair. "He'll be okay."

Looking up at her, you took in a shaky, deep breath. "I have to see him...I need to know if he is okay. I can't-I can't have him just lying there..." You shook your head before repeating yourself, voice softening, "I have to see him."

Eyeing you, Rey then looked over at her mother. "Why don't we wait in the waiting area, okay?" Rey spoke, lying a hand on your shoulder as you let go from the hug. "It'll be a bit for them to properly check him."

Gulping, you eyed the door before looking at Rey and nodding. "I'll let you girls know when we can go in." Leia spoke before Rey took you away.

Slowly walking to the waiting area, Rey holding your hand and pulling you over, she sat you down first before taking a seat beside you. "What if he never wakes up..." You muttered. "What if I never get to s-"

"That's nonsense, he will wake up." Rey said. "I promise you, Ben's got a strong will, it'll help him."

Swallowing, you leaned against her and rested your head on her shoulder, tears slowing down but still falling as you stared off. "I hope so..." You breathed.

Waiting for what felt like hours, doing nothing but thinking about Ben and nearly everything that reminded you of him, including memories, you found yourself deep in thought. How were you going to be okay with the fact that you hadn't said the three words that Ben had constantly said to you?

Frowning in your spot, crying here and there, Leia and Han walked over. "You two can go in." Leia spoke, you looking up at her. Giving you a comforting smile, Leia held a hand out and helped you up.

"Thank you..." You mumbled, Rey interlocking her arm with yours before walking away.

Aiming for the room, seeing the door partially open, Rey pushed it with her free hand and walked in with you. At the sight of all the monitors plugged in, following the chords and tubes, your heart snapped at the sight of Ben lying there. "Ben..." Your voice cracked, tears resurfacing as you shook.

Feeling your sudden loss in balance, Rey moved you over to the chair on the right of Ben, you sitting there and reaching out to hold his hand. Hearing your small cries, Rey frowned, gently petting your hair as she eyed her brother. "You'll be okay..." She whispered, though unsure as to who she had been directing it to, you took it for the two of you.

"Oh, Ben..." You whimpered, seeing the bruising on his face along with bandages. "Who would do this to you?" Reaching your other hand out, gently stroking his hair, you sighed. There was nothing but a mixture of pain and rage in you.

You were hurting, physically and mentally, at the sight of Ben. You couldn't believe someone was cruel enough to cause him arm when he never deserved it in the first place. Why would someone even consider it?

You were also enraged in the fact that someone had the audacity to harm him. To leave him all battered up on the ground, unconscious. Whoever had done it, you wanted them to have a taste of their own medicine.

Sitting beside him for an hour, Rey patted your shoulder. "I'm gonna get food, do you want anything?" Shaking your head, she turned and walked out.

Keeping your focus on nothing but Ben, brushing his hair with your fingers, stroking his cheek carefully and kissing his hand every now and then, you took in a deep breath. "I know you can't hear me, or at least comprehend, but I'm here. I'm here, by your side. And I'll stay for as long as I have to, to see you wake up because I know you will." You nodded. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm so sorry..." Letting out a small cry, you swallowed. "Just, please come back to me..."

Sitting there, hearing nothing but the monitors sounding and the wind echoing in the vents, hours had passed you by. Occasionally, Leia or Han would check in on you, Rey sitting with you from time to time but realized you'd prefer to be alone. At some point, Finn and Poe had visited and even brought in balloons and stuffed toys, setting them beside you.

Then, a little over an hour after the two visited, Maz came in as well, bringing in more get well gifts and speaking to you.

Sitting there, surrounded by the balloons and stuffed toys, you heard a knock. "Y/n, honey?" Looking over, your mother stood there beside your father, more balloons in hand but...Benny the Bunny in your mothers hold? "Leia called us, I'm so sorry, sweetie."

Looking up as your mother came to a stop in front of you, she handed the stuffed bunny. "Thank you." You softly spoke, holding the bunny close to your chest with your free hand, your other still holding his. "I want to stay until he wakes up."

"I expected that..." Your mother spoke. "That's why I brought you a change of clothes and what not." Turning your head away from Ben, you smiled up at her as your father lowered the duffle bag.

"You've got a small pillow in there with a blanket, and we brought you dinner, okay?" Your father spoke as you nodded, walking over to kiss your forehead. "I'm sorry Ben's like this, I hope they find whoever did this to him and karma bites them in the ass!"

Lightly chuckling, you nodded. "Me too."

"We wanted to make sure you were okay and to see Ben." Your mother spoke. "We'll see you tomorrow, let us know if anything happens." She smiled, kissing your cheek before turning to look at Ben, seeing your hand in his and smiling even more. "Sleep well, honey."

"And don't forget to eat your dinner!" Your father called out as you lightly laughed, seeing the two leave as you then turned your attention back to Ben.

"Everyone came to see you..." You spoke as if he could understand. "And I have Benny the Bunny with me." Sitting the stuffed toy besides Ben, you let out a breath. Sighing, you let go of Ben's hand for a moment, grabbing the dinner that was brought and slowly picking at it.

Finishing it almost an hour later, you went back to holding his hand, now with the blanket over your shoulders and pillow under your chin as you rested it on the bed. Looking at the clock on the wall, you let out a small breath. It had easily been six hours since you first got there. "You'll come back to me, I'm sure of it." You said, turning your attention back to Ben.

Hearing the door open, you looked over. "Oh, y/n." Seeing the recognizable woman, you smiled.

"Hello, Padmé." You greeted, seeing her being followed by a group of balloons, unsure as to who was holding them.

Seeing the furrow of your brows, Padmé gasped the slightest. "You have never met Ben's grandfather, my apologies." She spoke, moving to a side as the group of balloons were placed down, revealing an older man.

"Hello." He smiled, reaching his hand out as you extended your arm. "Anakin, Anakin Skywalker."

"No need for formalities, love." Padmé added as you chuckled.

"Hi Anakin, I'm Ben's girlfriend-"

"Girlfriend?!" Padmé exclaimed as you blushed. "Oh my, this is lovely! That's wonderful to hear! I'm so happy for the two of you." She sweetly smiled.

"I'm sure Ben's girlfriend has a name, of course?" Anakin spoke.

"Y/N Kenobi-"

"Kenobi?! Wait, you're y/n?" Anakin asked as you nodded. " _The_ y/n? The y/n my grandson never shut up about for years?"

Blushing even more, you nodded. "Yes, that y/n."

"Ben must be happy to finally have you, then." Anakin genuinely smiled. "I'm glad, he really likes you."

"He does." You smiled back. "Well, loves-"

"Loves?" Padmé gasped. "Aw, my little Ben." Placing a hand on her chest, she looked over at Ben, moving to his side. "You can't leave this pretty girl hanging..."

Watching Padmé, you took in a deep breath. "Have you been here the entire time?" Anakin asked as you nodded. "You must love him just as much."

Feeling your heart skip a beat at the word 'love', your focus turned back to Ben, eyes tearing up. You hadn't said the words to him, not because you didn't feel it--of course you did--but because you were afraid to. You had never truly said it to Hux because you didn't really feel it, but with Ben, it was there. It was overruling your heart and you knew that was what you were feeling. "Mhm..." You hummed, fighting the urge to cry, Padmé noticing this.

"We'll let you be. I know he'll wake up." She said, leaning down and kissing Ben's forehead. "I promise you." Giving you kind smile, she moved over to Anakin and grabbed his hand.

"It was lovely to meet you, Ben's girlfriend." Anakin bowed his head as you smiled at him, feeling the tears burn in your eyes.

"Likewise, Ben's grandfather."  You spoke, looking back at Ben and feeling a tear slip, instantly wiping it away.

Sitting there, crying to yourself for hours on end, Han and Leia had walked in checking on you. Rey coming in every now and then as well, even leaving you magazines. "Ma'am, visiting hours are closed." A nurse spoke, you lifting your head up from your pillow, fighting sleep.

"I'm staying." You simply spoke, Leia and Han standing from behind, exchanging looks.

"Are you sure?" The nurse asked.

"I am not leaving my boyfriends side, not when he could wake up in any given second." At that, you turned your head back over to Ben.

"She's staying." Han said as he patted the nurses shoulder. "She's a stubborn one, but in a good way." Nodding her head, the nurse walked off.

"Y/n, if you need anything, please call us." Leia spoke as you nodded, not looking away. "Please, get some sleep." At that, she shut the door.

Sitting in silence, watching Ben's chest rise and fall as you battled sleep, you leaned back in your seat. He had to wake up, he was going to wake up. You just feared it'd be in a time frame that you couldn't work with. What if he was in a long term coma? What if it was months? Years? You feared that the most. He would never know that you loved him, too.

Falling in and out of sleep, forcing your eyes to stay open as they constantly fluttered, you frowned. It had almost hit the twelve hour mark of you being there and you knew, eventually, your sleep was going to win. You just hoped he wouldn't wake up as you slept.

Holding tightly onto his hand, you rested your chin on your pillow that was beside him, only for your eyes to completely shut on you, cheek coming into contact with the cushion. Being sent into the darkness that was your sleep, way out of it to even be awakened, a pressure was felt around your hands.

Although knocked out, the fingers you had been holding onto rolled up. The sound of the monitors beeping alerted the nurses as Ben began to groan, brows narrowing as his muscles shifted. Rushing in, the nurse went to the side of the bed you weren't in, Ben's eyes slowly opening. "It's good to have you back, Ben." The nurse spoke, checking his vitals and making sure they were fine. "You scared your girlfriend there, she wouldn't dare leave until you woke up."

Lifting his head up, Ben looked over, removing the oxygen mask away from his face. "Y/n..." His hoarse voice spoke as he smiled, seeing you asleep there. Gently holding onto your hand, giving it a small squeeze to feel his muscles again, your face scrunched up.

Hearing shifting, your eyes fluttered open, seeing the nurse walk out. Blinking, you then felt something squeeze your hand. Looking at it, you instantly sat up and gasped. "B-Ben?!" You cried, letting go of his hand and jumping onto his bed. Wrapping you arms around him as you cried into his shoulder, Ben's arms wrapped around you.

"Moonlight..." He spoke, voice rough.

"Ben!" You sobbed. "Oh, Ben..." Clutching onto him, you kissed his shoulder, then his neck. Sitting up, you looked him in the eye as he held onto your face, wiping your tears. "I-" Crying, your bottom lip trembled. "I love you so much!" Pulling him into a kiss, Ben's eyes widened. "I love you, I love you, don't ever scare me like that again!" You spoke in between kisses.

"Y/n..." He muttered.

"I was going crazy, I was afraid you'd never wake up! I couldn't...I couldn't leave your side." You admitted, holding tightly onto his face, speaking against his lips. "I waited...I didn't know how long I was going to have to wait, but I couldn't go. I couldn't leave. Ben, I couldn't leave you not knowing that I love you." Feeling more tears slip, Ben wiped them. "I love you...so very much, I could never, ever have anyone else."

Feeling his heart race, Ben spoke before closing the gap to kiss you back. "I love you, too, moonlight." Kissing you longingly, lips moving against one another as your brows scrunched up from your crying, Ben separated and pulled you into his chest.

Digging his fingers into your hair and brushing it through, Ben left small kisses on top of your head. "I was so afraid...I ran here from school, I've been here twelve hours..." You spoke as Ben's chest grew warm. "I missed you, even if it wasn't all that long, it felt like forever to me."

"It's okay, I'm here now." He mumbled into your hair, kissing you again. "I'm right here. Awake and living."

Breathing in and taking in his scent, you shut your eyes, "What happened to you? Who did this?" You asked, your cheek resting against him.

Taking in a deep breath, Ben spoke, "I got attacked. Well, jumped. My instincts were going off and I knew there was trouble but I was too late. I was someone's punching bag..." He said, your hand now holding a fistful of his hospital outfit. "I felt so weak...I couldn't do anything, I tried but failed."

"I'm so sorry..." You whispered, Ben moving one of his hands onto your back and rubbing it. "I wish I was there."

"No, no I'm glad you weren't." He softly spoke. "You would've been in harms way, something could've happened and I...I would never forgive myself-"

"But, Ben, maybe I could've-"

"Y/n, I wouldn't have allowed you to do anything. I would have you run. You come first, your safety and protection-"

"Ben, I could've done something..." Sitting up, you looked at him, carefully holding his face and eyeing the wounds. "I could've prevented all of this..." You said, gently trailing your fingers along the bandage.

"It's fine, you mean the universe to me...I wouldn't want you protecting me when I want to protect you." He said as you frowned, trailing the tips of your fingers around his face. "Plus...they wouldn't have harmed you, they would've held you back."

"How...how could you be so sure?" You questioned, eyebrows knitted as you lied your hands on his shoulders. "Who's to say-"

"They mentioned Hux..." Ben interjected as your eyes widened.

"Wh-...what?" You blinked.

"They said something about taking what wasn't mine? Lots of bullshit...they knew Hux. His family, at least, including him." Ben stated as your jaw clenched. How low could Hux go? Let alone, how selfish and bitter could he be? It irked you to no end, you wanted nothing more but to find the boy and tear him apart. No one could harm Ben.

"Jealousy is ugly..." You said, eyeing Ben. "But, what we have, Hux can't do anything about it. You are all that I want and I _only_ want you." Giving him a kiss, you then kissed his cheek, then his neck before resting your head against his shoulder.

Taking in a shaky breath, fearing this had been a dream, Ben wrapped his arms tighter around you. "Sleep with me on here, please...I don't need the sleep, but you do. I can see it in your eyes, you need rest."

"Are you sure?" You asked as you had sat up, the obvious sleepiness in your expression being more prominent the more you tried blinking it away.

"Mhm, sleep, kid." Chuckling at the name, you smiled as you rested against him.

"Kid...hmph. Same old Ben." Nestling yourself against him as he held onto you, your sudden adrenaline had disappeared, the rush leaving you as you fell asleep right there and then.

"Thank you," Leaning over, Ben pressed a kiss on the side of your head, "my moonlight."

. . .

During the short hours of sleep you got, you had found yourself crying, waking up from a nightmare as Ben comforted you. The thought that Hux had people beat up Ben haunted you, imagining the fact that someone would actually want to cause harm to someone else out of pure spite irked you. "Shh, it's a dream..." Ben whispered, stroking your hair as he held you close to him.

Taking in staggered breaths as you lied against his chest, holding tightly onto him, Ben's free hand wiped your tears. "I can't sleep...when I have these dreams."

"Hey, I'm okay, alright?" Lifting your chin up for you to look at him, you frowned. "They'll get caught, Hux will have karma bite him in the ass. What matters is that I'm okay, right here next to you." He smiled as you nodded, sitting yourself up enough to press a long kiss against his cheek.

"I love you." You muttered, resting your head against his shoulder as he felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

"I love you, too." Kissing your forehead, Ben held onto you.

Looking over at the clock, seeing it was half past seven on the morning, you sighed. "I think I'm gonna go to school late...the first time in four years." You softly laughed as Ben grinned.

"You barely got sleep, babe. You should skip out or at least go half a day." He said.

"I'll go in a bit...after I get up and shower. Do you think I can trust that shower?" You asked with a small laugh as Ben had done the same.

"I can test it out with you." Smirking, Ben stifled a laugh as you smack his chest. "What? I need to shower, too. And I can't possibly go alone, what if I faint? I need you there with me."

"Hmm." You hummed.

"Hey, we've technically showered before-"

"Ben, I was the naked one. Not you." You rolled your eyes.

"Okay, well, this time around we _both_ can be naked." He grinned as you sighed.

"Fine, only because you're still recovering and I rather you not have an accident in the shower." Just about to stand up in your spot, Han and Leia walked in.

"Ben! You're awake! We would've come sooner, but-"

"It's okay, mom. Y/n was here." He spoke with a smile, Leia looking over at you and smiling.

"Thank you." She bowed her head as you had sat up.

"Oh, no. Anything for Ben." You shook your head as Ben lied a hand on your back.

"I'm glad to see you're okay, kiddo. You had me really worried." Walking to the opposite side, Han lied a hand on Ben's head. "I nearly lost my mind-"

"Nearly?" Leia raised an eyebrow. "Your father was far worse than I was." She snickered as Ben's brows raised.

"Oh, don't give me that! You know I love you." Han swatted, leaning down and kissing Ben's head. "Just because you're gonna be eighteen in a few days doesn't mean you ain't my kid."

"Oh, shut up..." Ben rolled his eyes with a small laugh, sitting up and pulling his father into a hug.

Smiling at the view, you stood up. "Are you going to school?" Leia asked.

"In a bit, I wanted to stay with Ben for some time more since I fell asleep." You nodded.

"Thank you, again, for staying. We knew you wouldn't even leave." Leia said, pulling you into a hug. "And thank you for liking my son." She whispered with a wink, Ben groaning.

"Mom, I heard that." He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay. Well, your father and I will go talk to the doctors and be back later." She spoke as Han walked to her side. "Love you, Ben."

"Love you, too." Watching the two leave, Ben moved to stand up. "So, how about that shower?" He winked, you shaking your head as you grabbed your clothes, then his hand and moved to the bathroom.

The second the two of you got undressed, you helping Ben, and got into the shower you realized it was a big mistake. How could you forget the obvious size difference between you and Ben? Let alone, the shower width? "We didn't think this through..." You looked up at Ben, bodies barely inches apart.

"Eh, the proximity is nice." He winked as you laughed.

"You're an idiot." Shaking your head, you reached up and held onto the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him. "Maybe we should try this in my shower instead. You know, so this time it's the two of us and not just me." You winked as Ben's eyes widened.

"Oh, so you _do_ want to shower with me?" Shrugging, you nodded your head. "Good, because that takes things to a whole new level." Holding your waist, Ben brought you back into the kiss.

After showering in the painfully small shower, getting out and drying up, you stood there as Ben sat on the counter, watching you. Wearing your skirt, blouse open with your bra revealed, you applied your makeup while Ben smiled. "You look so pretty." He gazed, you chuckling. "With and without makeup, you're absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you, Ben." Leaning in so he could kiss you, Ben pressed a kiss against your lips. "I'll come back once school is over, okay?" You said, finishing up your make up, then brushing your hair and pulling half of it up.

Carefully moving off of the counter, Ben got a hold of your waist and turned you. "Don't do anything drastic." He spoke, buttoning up your shirt for you.

"Drastic?" You questioned, Ben looking at you and raising a brow.

"You know what I mean, y/n. Hux." He said, putting the last buttons before lowering your skirt so he could tuck in your shirt. "Don't cause a scene in class or in lunch."

"Alright..." You breathed, smirking the slightest but Ben not seeing.

Standing straight and putting on your bow tie for you, Ben lied a hand on your cheek as the other was on your waist. "You better not."

"I won't." You muttered as Ben leaned in and kissed you.

Moving away from it, you pulled on your thigh high socks, then your shoes before walking out, stuffing your dirty clothes into your duffle bag. "I'll see you later, let me know when you get to school." Ben spoke as you pulled on your coat, grabbing your school bag.

"I will." Pulling your bag over your shoulder as Ben sat back on the hospital bed, you were just about to exit, only to rush back over to him.

Watching you approach him, you held onto his shoulders and kissed him, catching Ben slightly off guard. "I love you." You mumbled against his lips before backing up.

"I love you, too." Watching you wave goodbye and leave the room, Ben smiled to himself. He would never get over the fact that you felt the will and desire to say those three words to him-- _I love you._


	40. Andromeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Song: Andromeda by Gorillaz

_I promised not to do anything drastic in class or in lunch...but not outside or in the halls_. You thought to yourself as you walked the halls, still some time between classes. Of course, you would never break you promise to Ben, you did technically keep it...but, you weren't just going to let things slide.

Nearly zooming through the halls, you came to a stop as you eyed the familiar red head. There was nothing but trouble coming his way.

Letting go of the straps on your bag, you clenched your fists, tightening your jaw. The look in your eyes was devilish, those who had seen you walk by could hardly recognize you. It was almost as if you were possessed.

Pulling out and putting things in his locker, you walked up and slammed it shut, startling the young man. Looking over to see who it was that had done it, Hux instantly grunted as you had swung your hand back far enough for the impact against his cheek to be harsh. Feeling the stinging sensation in your palm as you had slapped the life out of him, close to his ear to the point there was ringing, you bit down.

"You are so fucking sick!" You seethed, Hux flinching at the sound of you cussing. "The audacity to send people to harm Ben all because you are jealous is pathetic of you!" Ignoring the fact that all eyes were on you, you pointed a finger. "I don't ever want to see you come near me or Ben. Don't you dare get in the way of my happiness and don't you _dare_ harm _my_ Ben ever again or I'll make sure that slap turns into a punch that knocks _you_ unconscious."

Hearing a wave of "ooo's", you turned around and stormed off, rubbing your tingling palm as Hux stood there with wide eyes. Never in his life had he ever seen such hell in your eyes, the way you looked at him nearly startled him. Not only did it look like he was looking into the eyes of a demon, but he could say the pain and anger, along with...tears?

No, you weren't tearing up from the stinging, you were tearing up by the fact that someone you once trusted would do that to you and the person you loved. You were completely and utterly upset in Hux.

For the rest of the school day, there had been nothing but whispers and word being spread. At this point, you didn't care. It wasn't like it was lies being told from person to person, it was the fact that everyone had been so shocked that a person like _you_ was capable of _that_. Not once had anyone seen you go off on anyone, let alone, cause harm. Of course, aside from the time you flat out punched Hux for cheating on you.

"Do you want to tell me why Ben called me to make sure you wouldn't cause a ruckus during school?" Rey asked as the two of you got off the bus, aiming for the hospital. "And you want to tell me why you ended up doing so?"

"Please, don't tell Ben." You pleaded as you held your hands together. "I promised him I wouldn't in class or in lunch, which I did not break. I did it in the hall. Okay? Hux deserved it!" You threw your hands up as Rey sighed.

"I suppose...but, he will find out eventually. Everyone has big mouths, he'll find out." Rey pointed as the two of you entered the hospital, going through security.

Making it to Ben's room and seeing Han and Leia there, along with the doctor, you decided to wait outside with Rey for a bit. "You two can go in." The doctor spoke as you smiled, instantly walking in.

Seeing Ben sit on the edge of the bed, tying his shoes, you greeted Han and Leia as Ben smiled at the sound of your voice. "I'm assuming you'll be leaving with us?" Han asked, Ben standing up and wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Of course she is." Ben grinned, kissing the side of your head as you smiled.

Shaking his head, Han walked out, followed by Leia then Rey. "I'm assuming you won't be going back to school?" Looking up at him, Ben grabbed your hand, walking alongside you.

"No, tomorrow I have to stay home in case of anything. I'll be back Monday." He nodded as you smiled again, grabbing onto his arm with your free hand, leaning the side of your head against him. "How was school?"

Looking over as Ben had asked, Rey gave you a look as you glared at her. "It was fine, not the same without you, but it's okay."

"Just one more day, you'll survive." He teased, pinching your cheek as you rolled your eyes. "I'm sure you can go a few hours without me."

"Oh, shut up." Flicking him, you shook your head. "My life does not depend on you. _Your_ life depends on _me_."

Taking in a deep breath, Ben shrugged, "Sadly so." Gasping, you laughed. "In a good way."

. . .

"You should stay the night." Rey spoke over to you as you now sat in her room, on your knees messing around with Chewie as Ben had been napping in his room. "It'd be nice since we haven't in a while and I'm sure Ben would be happy to have you over."

"Aren't you afraid he'll be all over me?" You asked as Rey sat at her desk, knees to her chest while on her laptop.

"Eh, there's a thing called kicking him out of my room. Plus, I don't mind if he joins in, I kinda feel bad for him-"

"Kinda?" You chuckled as Rey shrugged. "Well, I should go home and see my parents and what not, ask and see if they're okay with it."

"I can take you?" She said, looking over at you. "I can take my moms car, not that far of a drive."

"You better not kill us." At that, the two of you had been on your way, you going back home and hanging for a bit there. Your parents were fine with the sleeping over idea, especially after what happened to Ben, so you decided to freshen up, pack, and then leave again with Rey.

"I'm sorry, Cosmo, I'll be back tomorrow!" You spoke in a baby voice to the pup, messing with his ears and kissing his forehead as your mother held him. "Don't let Jupiter walk all over you, okay?" Kissing him once more, you waved goodbye to your parents before exiting your house.

"So that's the famous Cosmo that's all over your social media?" Rey asked as you nodded. "He's adorable."

"Ben found him on our first date." You spoke with a smile. "He gave him to me so he's kind of like our child." You winked as Rey rolled her eyes.

"You two are awfully lame." She laughed, getting into the car as you had done the same. "Well, at least you got a free dog!"

Driving back to Rey's, the two of you got out and went back into her home, you leaving your stuff in her room before sneaking into Ben's. Luckily for you, he had still been asleep and you wanted to 'surprise' him about the sudden plans. "Shh!" You hushed Rey.

"You're going to give him a heart attack, he never naps, let him be." She waved a hand but you ignored, quietly shutting the door behind you. Seeing him lie on his back, an arm crossed over his head as Kylo lied on him, you carefully grabbed the cat and moved him to his small bed.

"Sorry..." You whispered, but the cat didn't seem to mind, you kissing his forehead as he fell back to sleep. At least he was used to, and loved, you.

Carefully climbing on Ben's bed, you straddled him and eyed his face, the bruises and cuts healing as he still had a few bandages on. Gently kissing his cheek bone that wasn't bruised, he shifted in his spot slightly, you stifling a laugh as your hair had tickled him.

Lying your hands beside his head, you eyed him. "I can't believe _I'm_ being the creep..."

"You're being a creep when I'm _unaware_..." Hearing Ben speak, your eyes widened.

"You're awake?" You asked, Ben instantly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down, rolling himself over you as you grunted.

"No thanks to you and Rey." He mumbled.

"Sorry, baby." Kissing his head, you twirled some of his hair around your fingers.

"Are you wearing a sweater as a dress?" He asked.

"It's long, okay? And I have shorts under!" You pointed out, now that the sweater-dress had raised up from the movements, most of your thighs were exposed.

"Hmph..." Moving himself enough to eye your outfit, he grinned. "At least you've got your knee socks on." Kissing your neck, Ben rolled on his side as he rubbed his eyes, you lightly blushing as you fixed the sweater. "Are you wearing anything under that?" He asked.

"Yeah, a bralette..." You softly spoke, lying on your side and eyeing him as he smirked. "What?"

Moving onto you, sitting up, he grabbed the end of the sweater. "Well, you don't need this then."

"Ben, anyone can walk in-"

"No one goes into my room without knocking, aside from you." Lifting up the sweater and removing it from you, he tossed it to the end of his bed, leaning down and leaving kisses against your skin.

"Well, you better appreciate this now because I'm sleeping over in Rey's room." You said, Ben only sitting up and frowning. "Aw, you can sleep over tomorrow!"

"But you never sleep over in my place unless it's with Rey..." He continued to frown, you raising your hands and lying them on his cheeks.

"You can sneak into Rey's room tonight and join me." You winked, Ben raising a brow.

"That sounds like a small challenge I'm willing to do." At that, Ben went back to kissing your body as you laughed.

. . .

After spending at least an hour in Ben's bed with him, messing around, you found yourself napping against him. You were dead tired from the long day you had the day before and your sleep was catching up to you.

Resting against his chest, Ben sat there and brushed his fingers through your hair and grinned. He couldn't be more thankful to finally have you the way it should've been years ago. To have you lie with him, to sleep with him without worrying, to kiss him and to love him. He was beyond happy.

Humming one of his songs--that you claimed to be your favorite--he kept his focus on you. Fingers brushing through your smooth hair, they trailed along your face, tracing your features and moving done to your shoulder then arm. He wanted to remember it all.

Kissing the top of your head, he moved you beside him, turning on his side and eyeing your relaxed expression. You looked so peaceful and soft. He wanted nothing more than to just keep you there with him forever. "God, I love you..." He breathed, resting his hand on your cheek, delicately brushing his thumb against it. "So...fuckin' much."

"I love you, too." You muttered, Ben's eyes growing in size before he saw a grin grow on your lips. "I guess you're back to being the creep, huh?"

"Shhh, I'm admiring my girlfriend." Wrapping an arm over your waist and resting his head closer to your own as your eyes slowly opened. "Who is actually sleeping in my bed at the moment."

" _Was_." You corrected with a small laugh, scooting closer to kiss the tip of his nose, yours being inches away from his. "I don't want to move..."

"Then, don't." He smiled, you playfully shoving him before lazily lying your arm over his shoulder, hand getting lost in his thick hair.

"I won't." You mumbled, lips hovering against his own. "I want to stay right here, with you." Leaning in, your lips gently pressed against his, giving him one or the softest--yet, sweetest--kisses. "But I have to go to Rey's." You leaned back, but Ben tightened his grip around you.

"Stay a little longer, until dinner." He pleaded, you nodding in agreement.

"Okay." You whispered, pulling him to you, longingly kissing one another.

Pressed together under the blanket, bodies warming up from the heat surrounding the two of you, Ben's hand trailed down your spine. Moving over your hip bone then down your thigh, he grabbed onto the back of your knee and pulled you onto him.

Lying there with your hands in his hair, kissing him, a small moan sounded from Ben. Grabbing his hands and moving them to your back, he held onto the back of your bra, wanting to remove it. "Mmm..." Feeling his hands slide underneath the back, you wanted nothing more than to remove it.

Continuously kissing him, you removed his hands and took off the bra, putting it to a side as Ben caught his breath. "We can't...we're not about to-"

"Shhh...we're just making out." You whispered, pressing your lips against his, grabbing his hands and placing them on your chest as he nearly choked, making you laugh.

The two of you had lost track of time, eventually taking a breather and redressing yourself to go eat. For the time being, you were amazing Rey hadn't gone to take you away from Ben.

Rey had surprisingly gotten carried away with her own matters, having dinner with the Solo's before retreating to Rey's room, you still felt the lingering feeling of Ben's lips and hands. "I'm exhausted, goodnight, y/n."

"Night." Lying on the mattress on the floor, you gave it a bit before Rey knocked out, grabbing your phone and messaging Ben.

As you waited, you scrolled through images on your phone, seeing the ones you took on your trip and from Halloween--especially the ones you got with Ben. Looking at a group photo from your Halloween party, your group all dressed up, you made it your lock screen. Scrolling through more, you stopped at one: you, Ben and Cosmo. "Cute." You whispered.

Smiling as you eyed the photo--you sitting on Ben's lap while holding Cosmo, the two of you grinning--you made that your homepage's background.

Not realizing Ben had opened the door, the bed slightly dipped, causing you to look up and smile. Locking your phone and placing it to a side, Ben cuddled up against you, trying to fit as much as he could on the bed with you. "Do you think she'll wake up?" You asked.

"She sleeps well, straight through the night so I highly doubt it." He whispered back, lying a hand on your cheek. "I'll leave before you have to get up for school."

"Okay." You smiled, Ben kissing you. You felt bad that you had snuck Rey's own brother into her room, got him in your bed and made out as if you weren't in silence. It wasn't like you could help it, the second Ben had kissed you and you kissed back, it went from there.

Lying with your arms wrapped around him as Ben held onto your back, lips moving against his own, you slowed your movements. Giving him small pecks, you then kissed his cheek before speaking, "We should sleep...I barely got any last night."

"Okay." Kissing you're forehead, you moved your arms from around him and pressed up against him as Ben kept his hold, you getting into a comfortable position before knocking out a bit after.

. . .

Although the mattress wasn't all that comfortable, being with Ben made it better, and the fact that you had woken up ten minutes before the alarm to see him there made it greater. It was funny, the sight of you two freaking out and whispering back and forth, Ben trying to get up but nearly falling as he then stumbled out. It was hard not to laugh, but now that you were in class, you smiled to yourself.

Although Ben wasn't beside you, you didn't mind, at least it was one day. Your only problem was Hux--but, he wasn't a bother, he listened to you and kept his distance.

Walking into the room and seeing you alone, Alex beamed. It had been quite a bit since he had seen you on your own, so the fact that you were sitting there alone made him a bit happy. "Good morning, y/n."

Looking up, you smiled. "Oh, hey, Alex."

Feeling his cheeks heat up, he took his usual seat. "I heard what happened to Ben, I hope he's alright."

"He is, thank you." You continued to smile, causing Alex to shyly look away. Even after everything, he still felt timid around you. "Thank you for everything. For constantly being there for me...for being on the bus on the right time." You chuckled, causing Alex's cheeks to burn more.

"It's...it's no problem."

"Honestly, Alex, you're so great." Lifting his head up with wide eyes, you moved your stool closer as you sat in front of him. "You put so much effort into me and being my friend, you always know what to say...you're wonderful."

"Thank you..." His voice faltered.

"But...why?" You questioned. "I barely knew you at the beginning, but you were always so sweet..."

"Because...I..." Unable to admit to it, he took in a deep breath. It wasn't like it was going to ruin things, you were clearly in love with someone else, so what was the point? "Because I have had...the biggest crush on you...for quite some time..." Feeling your eyes widened, your smile only grew in size. "And you deserve every inch of kindness...from anyone.

"Oh, Alex..." Grabbing onto his hand, he looked you in the eye, red as ever. "I'm honestly flattered."

"I know, I know you're happy with Ben and I am super happy that you're happy. I just, I had to get it off of my chest. I had to let you know..." He spoke. "Because I think that'll help me move past it and let you be."

Giving him a whole hearted smile, you stood up and kissed his cheek. "Whoever it is that you move on to, they'll be so lucky to have caught your eye. And I hope they reciprocate the feelings! It's what you deserve." Sitting back down, Alex couldn't help but beam. That sort of confidence was what he needed.

"Thank you..."

. . .

"So, how's Ben doing?" Poe asked as he looked at you, you raising a brow.

"Why are you asking me?" You laughed, looking over at Rey as she was sitting next to you in the cafeteria. "Why not Rey?"

"Because we all know you'd know more than her." Finn responded with a shrug, your eyebrows lifting. "What? Don't look at me like that, you know it's true."

Nodding your head with a shrug, you picked at your food. "He's fine, back home...doesn't come back till Monday. Pretty soon if you ask me but I guess he wasn't all that bad."

"That's good to hear." Poe smiled. "So, what was that about you smacking Hux yesterday? People kept talking about it..."

Looking over at Rey as she eyed you, the two of you looked at Finn and Poe. "Well, uh...you see...Hux is a dick." You said, the two looking at you as if that weren't anything to be surprised about. "He just keeps giving me and Ben dirty looks and I've had enough of his jealousy." You lied, the two buying it except Poe was a bit skeptical.

"I see. You're pretty protective over Ben. For someone his size, you wouldn't expect his little girlfriend to defend him-"

"I'm not little." You glared. "Ben just means a lot to me, okay? And if anyone were bothering any of you I'd do something. And you all know that, I have defended the three of you _at least_ once."

"That's true..." Rey nodded.

"Can't say she's lying." Finn shrugged.

"Fair enough..." Poe breathed. "I just find it adorable that you're so protective of a guy Ben's size. At least, his height is very intimidating to most."

"Height doesn't do much, it's what your hands can do." You smiled with a shrug, finishing up your food.

"Clearly, you've given Hux's face a beating." Rey sniggered as you smirked.

"I do feel bad but...he's pretty conceited about his face so it's an easy target."

"Excuse me, may I steal y/n away for a moment?" Looking up, you saw Phasma standing there.

"By all means," Rey waved a hand as you stood up, you and Phasma moving to a side.

"Hey, what is it?" You asked with a smile.

"So, you clearly got the poem no thanks to that worm Alex, which I'm glad." She said as you nodded. "Which obviously helped out the situation between you and Ben seeing as you two are dating."

"Yes..."

"Okay, well, I had this great idea--so did the twins--that was working wonderful until you had left homecoming and that was to name you and Ben queen and king-"

"Wait, you did that?"

"Actually, a lot of people had voted you in, and there was a nice amount of people who surprisingly wrote Ben in instead of voting Hux. I find that funny since you were dating Hux then, but that's not the point. I had it set where you two would dance and enjoy the moment but you weren't there..."

"Ben got it to me that same night, he came to my place soaked from the rain and danced with me." You smiled as Phasmas eyes widened.

"Wait...seriously?" Nodding your head, she grabbed your shoulders. "That is wonderful! Except you were supposed to do it on the dance floor so I guess I'm going to have to try again with prom." She shrugged, letting go of you.

"Wait, what?" Narrowing your brows, Phasma only walked off.

"Enjoy the rest of your day! Tell Ben I say hello!" Watching her wave and walk off, you stood there and blinked. Was she really going to do that for prom? _I guess I'll have to wait._

. . .

Rushing down the halls the second the dismissal bell had rung, telling Rey you'd meet her at her house seeing as she was caught up in her work, you hurriedly exited the main doors and went down the steps. Now that your relationship was no longer hidden, you were excited in the fact that you could be with Ben more and not worry about being caught.

Making it to the last step, you slowed down your pace as you saw Hux standing there, instantly rolling your eyes. "Wait, I don't want to start trouble..." He lifted his hands, you sighing. "I just...I want to apologize."

"Apologize for _what_ exactly? There's a list of things you should be sorry for." You spoke, crossing your arms.

"Everything...cheating on you and...and sending those men to attack Ben. I'm sorry, I went overboard and I shouldn't have. I was blinded by jealousy and I allowed it to overcome me." He admitted as you simply stood there.

"Apologize to Ben first, he's the one you had sent to the hospital. Then, maybe I'll consider your apology." At that, you walked off, unfolding your arms and sticking your hands in the pockets of your coat. You couldn't accept his apology when the one person he harmed most--literally--had yet to hear an apology.

The second you had made it to Ben's, you had easily spent countless hours by his side in his room. Of course, the second Rey got home you moved over to her so it didn't seem like you were "picking favorites" but she was slowly understanding that you'd want your time with Ben--especially since the two of you just started being a _thing_.

"Four years..." You spoke, sitting in between Ben's legs as the both of you were on his rooftop, stargazing--the official 'third date'. "Four stubborn years it took for us to get here. I blame you."

"Me?!" Ben shrieked as you held in a laugh. "You were dating someone else! And I was in another school!"

"Exactly, you left." You smirked but Ben couldn't see it, rolling his eyes as he mumbled something. "We could've been together for four years already, who knows what would've happen."

"You know what, at least you realized Hux really was a dick. Especially since he would threaten me for liking you and would bully me about it." Blinking, your brows narrowed.

"He, what?" Turning enough as you could to look at him, Ben sighed.

"You know me, I was a timid kid, people walked all over me. Hux must've been jealous of us being so close so suddenly that he felt threatened by my presence. He thought I was going to take you away. Well, karma is a bitch and it happened either way." Ben shrugged, keeping his focus on the stars as you felt a smile growing.

"I have karma to thank, then." Getting a hold of his chin, you kissed him. "I couldn't possibly see the rest of my life being spent with Hux."

"And me?" Ben questioned, looking down at you as you grinned.

"Possibly..." You shrugged, turning back ahead as Ben groaned.

"Possibly my ass, you love me and you know it for a fact." Getting a hold of your face, squeezing your cheeks in his hand as he turned you, your lips pursed as Ben kissed you, you laughing. "And you can't deny it." Kissing you again, you smiled.

"I don't want to." You softly spoke, looking at him, the proximity between the two of you being small--if you looked deep enough, you could see the moon reflecting in his eyes. "Because I do love you." Seeing Ben smile, he lowered his arms and wrapped them around you, you leaning your head back as he went for another kiss.

There was nothing more beautiful than sitting under the stars with the moon shining down during a soft moment like this.

. . .

"I think we should throw Ben a nice surprise birthday party. I know it's tomorrow and it's last minute and a Sunday, but it doesn't have to be all that big, just close friends and family!" You spoke into the phone as you were walking Cosmo.

" _That's a good idea_..." Rey spoke on her end, Leia standing beside her as you had been on speaker. " _I mean, very last minute, but Ben hasn't celebrated his birthday in years_ -"

" _I am for it! I don't mind throwing my Benny a little party, he's going to be eighteen, at least it'll be something memorable_." Leia spoke as you smiled. " _Speaking of Ben, Han took him to the doctors to check up on him before they went to get the...Falcon, and Ben's just fine_."

"That's great!" You smiled even more. "What are you guys going to do with all those balloons and flowers and teddy bears in the formal living room?"

" _I don't know, honestly...I guess I'll wait till they deflate and the flowers die off. There's so many but Ben doesn't want to dump them_ -"

"He doesn't?" You questioned, interrupting Leia.

" _No, because mister emotional appreciates the thought that people care for him_." Rey mocked as you shook your head.

"Aw, let your brother be." You chuckled. "As long as they bring happiness to him, then, let it be."

" _As long as it doesn't interfere with the party_ -"

"Rey!"

" _I'm kidding, sheesh! Look, we'll set everything up and plan it out today_." Rey said.

"Let me know if you need anything." You responded.

" _You just keep Ben distracted! Actually, he should stay the night with you guys, I'll call your parents!"_ At that, Leia left the conversation.

"That sounds perfect to me, he'll enjoy the idea of spending the day with me." You smiled as Rey gagged.

" _Just finish your walk and go back home and wait for Ben you sappy loser_." Rey teased.

"Bye, Rey." You shook your head.

" _Bye, love bird_." At that, she hung up, leaving you with Cosmo.

Finishing your walk around the neighborhood with Cosmo, you circled back and saw a car drive up to your house in the distance. Recognizing the silver hunk of junk, you grinned. "C'mon Cosmo, lets go say hi." Running over as Ben was getting out of his car, grabbing his bag, you tackled him from behind as Cosmo barked.

" _Hoooly_ shit!" He exclaimed, shutting his eyes for a moment. "Give me a heart attack, will you?" Looking up at him, your eyes screwed back.

"Oh, shut up you big baby." Pulling him down to kiss him, you then moved to pick up Cosmo.

"Wanna tell me why mom insisted I stay the night at your place? Especially when she knows we're dating?" Ben asked as he locked his car, the two of you moving to the entrance of your home.

"Because tomorrow is your birthday and you get to spend it all day with me." You beamed, opening the door and walking in as Ben followed. "What better way to spend it?" You said over your shoulder, the two of you going upstairs. "My parents are out for the evening so we have the house to ourselves." You spoke with a grin.

"And that means?" Ben asked, you reaching the top of the stairs and turning to face him.

"That means we can share a bath." You smirked.

"A bath?" Ben asked, smiling as you nodded, walking to your room. "I like the sound of that. Is it a bubble bath or those bath bomb thingamajigs?"

"I have both, you decide." Opening the door of your room and removing Cosmos leash as Ben placed his bag down, he picked up the pup as you stood there.

"Hmm...bubble baths sound more fun. You know, foam everywhere." He said as you agreed.

"Good, I'll set it up then!" Walking over to your bathroom, Ben sat on your bed and messed with Cosmo, Jupiter coming in and jumping up to your bed and sitting beside him.

Filling the tub and adding the bath mix, you walked back out and over to Ben. Grabbing Cosmo and sitting him down, you got a hold of Ben's hands, stood him up and guided him to your bathroom. "Do you think I'll fit?" He asked.

"One way to find out." You shrugged, shutting the door and locking it, then removing your sweater and leggings, then your undergarments before moving to settle in the tub. "Are you just going to stand there and watch?"

Staring at you, Ben snapped out of it. "Look, this is all still very new to me, I am soaking it all in." Unbuckling and removing his pants, then his jacket and shirt, you sat in the tub and messed with the bubbles.

Removing his underwear, Ben moved over to the tub and got in, causing the water to rise as you laughed. "It's going to overflow!"

"Well, you shouldn't have put too much." He shrugged, reaching his arms out to grab you and pull you to him. "Can't get anymore intimate than a bathtub."

Wrapping your arms around him as he held your waist, you pulled him close, speaking before you kissed, "Shut up."

Slowly moving your lips against one another, you sat up and moved closer to him, the water splashing around as you pressed your chest against his. Gliding his hands up and down your back, he held onto you again and pushed you down with him.

"What are you doing?" you mumbled into the kiss.

"Kissing you." Being pressed down against your end of the tub as most of Ben was sticking out of the water, your hands moved onto his back as you continued kissing him.

"We're going to get cold so easily." You mumbled, Ben pressing multiple kisses against your lips before moving them to your neck.

"That means we can cuddle more in bed." He smiled against your skin, leaving a few, gentle kisses along. Holding onto the tub as he kissed you, you pushed against his chest as you sat him, grabbing onto his face and kissing him again.

Moving him back, you lowered a hand and scooped up some bubbles, then lied them on his hair as you laughed into the kiss. "Perfect."

"Did you just put bubbles in my hair?" He asked, looking at you as the two of you separated from the kiss.

"Maybe..." You fought a grin.

"So be it..." Grabbing onto you, you instantly shrieked as he pushed you underwater.

"Ugh!" Pushing your hair away from your face, you grabbed onto Ben as he laughed, only for his eyes to widen as you shoved him down. "Hah!"

"Touché, moonlight." He grinned, pushing his hair back. "Now we'll be freezing extra." Pulling you back to him, you brushed your fingers through his wet hair.

"Then that makes the cuddling even better."


	41. Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of CB, then four epilogues! | Chapter's Song: Moonlight by Ariana Grande

_10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!_ Seeing the clock on your nightstand strike midnight, you instantly turned yourself on your bed, moving to straddle Ben. "Happy birthday, sunshine!" You nearly shrieked as he smiled, your lips peppering his face with kisses. Leaning back, your hands held onto his cheeks. "Your first gift of the day...well, night, is eighteen kisses." You grinned, Ben letting out a rumble for a laugh.

"Eighteen kisses?" He questioned as you nodded, moving his hands to lie on your hips. "Right at midnight, I think that's the best gift yet."

" Shut up." You laughed before closing the gap. "That's one," Kissing him again, you mumbled against his lips, "Two...three...four...five..."

"Just count in your head, it's better." Ben spoke into the kiss, moving his hands up, under your shirt and on your waist.

"Fine...thirteen more." Continuing with the kisses, either of you couldn't help but laugh into it, causing the moment to last way longer. Falling to your side as you chuckled, still holding his face, Bens lips smiled against your own. "Come on, three more!" You kissed, "Two...one." Leaning back and looking at him, Ben still had a grin plastered on his face as he gazed at you. "You're impossible to give repetitive pop kisses to."

"That's because I prefer making out." Lowering your hands as Ben placed his on your face, you raised a brow at him. "Don't give me that look, you know I'm right. It's my birthday and I am going to make out with you."

"Of course you are." Rolling your eyes as you couldn't help but smile, Ben pulled you in, passionately kissing you. The two of you spent what felt like hours kissing one another, taking in small breathers before Ben would pull you right back in. Throughout, the two of you moved from your positions, you being on top to Ben being on top, to it being you again. You were surprised neither of you fell off; if you had, Ben's so called bed on the floor would've saved you.

"Mmm...you taste so good." Ben moaned into the kiss as he was back again on top of you.

"Ben...you've kissed me a bunch before." You breathed, Ben closing the gap again before he spoke.

"And? You taste good. I'm sure you taste even better d-"

"Ugh, Ben." You groaned, hands deep in his hair. "Keep the horniness for another time."

"Fine..." Giving your lips one last kiss, he leaned back. "Wait, am I going to have birthday sex?" Smacking his chest and shoving him off of you, Ben fell back as you sat up. "Is that a yes or a no?"

"Ben, I have the whole day planned out for us." Lying back down, you pressed up against him, grabbing his arm so he'd spoon you.

"That's still not an answer-"

"Shhh, goodnight!"

. . .

Reaching out his arm, dragging it along the bed and feeling nothing, Ben's eyes opened to see your side of the bed empty. Groaning as he'd prefer to wake up to you, he eyed your room, smiling. He much preferred your room over his, yours was much more livelier and brighter than his own. "Good morning, sunshine!" Looking over as he turned his attention away from the 'I want to believe' poster, he smiled at the sight of your own.

"Hi." He simply responded, lying there and smiling at you as your heart fluttered. "Did you make me food?" He asked, sitting up and realizing you brought in a tray.

"Yep! I made a little of everything, I already ate while in the process." Handing him the tray, you sat on your knees beside him, leaning against the headboard and twirling some of his hair around your finger.

Instantly digging in, Ben spoke up. "So, what do you have planned?"

Speaking with a mouth full, you laughed, looking over at him and seeing the chocolate syrup from his pancakes on the side of his lips. "We are going to go to Coruscant to see those two museums--you know the ones that are like back to back. The art museum and science museum."

"The one with the brand new planetarium?!" He eagerly asked, looking over at you with wide eyes.

"Yes, that one." Getting a hold of his chin, you leaned in and licked the chocolate away.

"Did you just lick my face?" He asked.

"I licked the chocolate you had smudged." You spoke, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before leaning back.

"I wouldn't mind if you just wanted to lick me to lick me." Ben shrugged as you nudged him.

"You are so odd, Solo." You chuckled, moving yourself to lean against him.

"Do you want some?" He asked as he now had whipped cream around his index finger.

"Are you desperate for me to do something sexual to you?" You questioned, raising a brow as Ben's finger hovered in front of you.

"Wh-what? No way! Sharing is caring, babe." He nodded as you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, I bet that's it." Leaning forward, you were just about to lick the whipped cream, only to speak up. "Don't get a boner from this, boner boy."

"I said not to call me that..." He sighed, you taking his finger in your mouth and licking the whipped cream off. Of course, Ben wanted to watch, but with what you said he had to look away. "Not fair, I wanted to watch."

"I swear...." Shaking your head, you grabbed a napkin and cleaned his finger. "Come on, we've got a long day ahead of us!" Patting his shoulder, you stood up and aimed for you bathroom.

Quickly finishing up his food, deciding to take it down to your kitchen, your parents greeting him and wishing a happy birthday, he came back up to your room only to see you walk out in a robe. "Are you done already?" He asked, you only grabbing his hands and tugging him with you.

"Of course not, I was washing my face." Pulling him into the bathroom with you, you shut the door and locked it. "You did say you wanted to shower with me, right?"

"Yeah..." He nodded, you only grinning as you loosened up your robe, allowing it to fall.

Growing wide eyed as he eyed your form, you smirked, "Well, let's shower."

. . .

"I am...honestly still speechless." Ben spoke as the two of you walked hand in hand, arriving at the art museum not that long before.

"At what, the art? We just got here." You snickered, Ben shaking his head as he eyed the mural in front of him.

"No, that even in the shower we were able to do it." He said, you looking over at him and feeling your cheeks heat up the slightest. "I was a bit afraid I'd slip but hey we're here with no injuries."

"Don't expect us to try that again any time soon, it's your birthday and I didn't mind." You pointed a finger, the two of you moving to another piece.

"Fine, we can stick to traditional...although our last four times have been in four different places. A hotel, a car, a bed...now a shower. Y/n, are you trying to accomplish something?" Ben teased as you shook your head.

"Don't even think about it, we're not going to do it in public places." You snapped, Ben snickering.

"Well, we did do it in my car-"

"Hush, you." Tugging him along, Ben only grinned. He couldn't get over the fact that you were just as bad as him on the inside...Ben was just more verbal about it.

Moving from piece to piece, taking the occasional photo with one another--which actually was Ben taking a ton of you on his phone--you had easily seen the whole museum in two hours. Ben from time to time would stop at a piece and admire it while you couldn't help but take a photo. It was a sight to see and he looked absolutely adorable in your eyes.

"What if I became an art historian?" You asked Ben as the two of you exited the art museum.

"An art historian? You're not into art."

"Who says I'm not?!" You looked up at him. "Art is fascinating, plus, I have no idea what I even want to do...I've applied to so many schools unsure of my major. I mean, I love theater, but I don't think I'd get into acting. I love dancing but what kind of job can I do with that?"

"You could always open up your own little dance school, you know, teach kids from a certain age." Ben shrugged.

"That's true...ahh, I just, I don't know. The arts are absolutely lovely, fine and performing arts. I just wish they were recognized more and not seen as low paid and terrible jobs." You frowned, leaning your head against Ben's arm.

"Hey, you have to do what makes you happy. Even if it doesn't pay a lot. I know money is essential to life and all, but you can't be miserable and make a great salary. You'd be so upset. Who cares if it's in the arts, we need the arts. Trust me, I love the arts, I wish I could get into it but my family has a business and I've always wanted to run it since I was a kid." Ben said.

"Yeah...but at least you have that. I don't know what I want. I feel lost..." You breathed, Ben only stopping in his tracks and getting a hold of your waist as he looked at you.

"Hey, it's okay to feel lost. There are plenty of others who go into college not knowing what they want. You're still very young, you've got time. Maybe you'll find out before we graduate from high school. I'm sure you'll find what you want, and if you can't decide on a career, I will open up a dance studio just for you." Ben smiled down at you as you reflected the expression.

"You'd willingly spend that much money on me?" You questioned. "Better yet...you see us being together for the long run." You softly spoke as your smile grew bigger.

"Well, of course. I'd do anything for you. Y/n, I hope I do spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so very much." He spoke, you moving your arms up, grabbing onto his face and pulling him into a kiss.

"I love you, Ben." You nearly whispered, eyes still shut.

"I love you, too." Ben said, kissing your forehead before letting go of your waist and holding onto your hand again. "You very well know that you are my universe and I'd do anything for you."

"Of course I do," Walking over to the science museum, you looked up at him, "cosmic boy."

. . .

"I can't remember the last time I was in a planetarium..." You whispered over to Ben as you sat next to one another, watching the show they had put on in the dome. "It's so lovely."

Turning his attention from the dome's screen, Ben looked at you, watching the way you eyed the show with smile. "It really is." He softly spoke, focus set on you rather than the dome. Small moments like these reminded him of how lucky he was to have you. After everything, after all the two of you had been through...after the hell he had given you, you loved him back.

And that was something Ben would never get used to. Someone like you loving him.

Eyeing the constellations that were being created, you felt Ben's eyes on you. "What?" You asked with a small nod, looking at him for a moment. "The shows up there, not on my face." You pointed up.

"I know." He nearly whispered, a smile tugging on his lips. "But your face is more intriguing."

Shaking your head as a grin grew back on your lips, you turned your head and eyed him. "My face can't possibly be more intriguing than outer space. It's so pretty."

"Oh, but it is." He nodded as you blushed. "Outer space may be pretty, but you're beautiful."

Shoving your hand against his face, you chuckled. "Stop it, Ben."

"Hey, it's my birthday, I get to admire my girlfriends beauty without being ridiculed." He pointed, grabbing your hand and pulling it down. "You will always be a work of art to me, y/n."

"Well, if I'm a work of art, you're a galaxy of your own." You winked, Ben kissing your knuckles before you moved your hand to his face, gently trailing your fingers. "Your freckles and beauty marks are constellations of their own."

Watching the way you gazed at his face, fingers tracing along his skin as if connecting the dots, Ben lied his hand on your cheek, his fingers hooking around the back of your neck as he leaned in. Pressing his lips against your own, you smiled into the kiss.

It didn't seem to matter that the room was partially filled or that you were in the middle of watching a show presented by the planetarium, Ben couldn't help but take the opportunity to kiss you under the constellations. Nothing seemed more fitting than kissing you in a planetarium.

Kissing your bottom lip before you leaned away, Ben wrapped an arm around you as you leaned into his chest, the two of you looking up as they introduced the galaxy. If you could, you'd stay in there all day. Maybe even live in there. "This would nice to wake up to. Nothing but a graphic of our galaxy, moving around a 360 screen." You said as Ben nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we should sneak in here one night." He winked over at you as you rolled your eyes. "Or maybe we could sleep under the stars and wake up early enough to still see them."

"That sounds more doable." You nodded, moving your  hand to interlock with his own that hung over your shoulder.

"Then I'll make it happen." Kissing the side of your head, Ben leaned his against yours as the show had been reaching its end.

Getting out of your seats as the crowd piled out, the two of you walked hand in hand along the hall and out the building, making your way back to Ben's car. "Ugh, it's freezing." You trembled, no thanks to the sudden gust of wind. You were doing absolutely fine earlier. "Is wearing a turtle neck and jeans not enough? I mean, my coat isn't doing much either." You shivered, Ben letting go of your hand and wrapping his arm around you, hands rubbing your arms.

"When we get to my car I'll try getting the heater to work." He said, you wrapping both of your arms around him to get his heat from under his jacket.

"You're warm I bet." You said, teeth chattering.

"Somewhat." He shrugged.

"Somewhat? Ben, your jacket is warm underneath! My hands are freezing, I could hardly feel them." Grabbing onto his shirt, you continued to shake.

"Okay, give them to me." Ben stuck out a hand

"Give them? My hands?" You asked as he nodded. "What're you going to do?"

"Just give them." He said, opening and closing his hand as if gesturing for you to place them there.

Lying your hands in his own, his other moved on top. "Maybe that'll warm them." Lifting them up to his mouth, he kissed them before rubbing them. "Can you feel them?"

"Mhm..." You nodded, teeth chattering uncontrollably.

"We're almost there." Quickly walking along to the lot, Ben pulled out his keys and moved to open the passengers door, you swiftly sliding in. Shutting the door behind you, Ben made his way around and turned on the car and heater. Sitting there for a bit while waiting, Ben had taken off his jacket and handed it to you.

"B-Ben, keep i-it. You n-need it." You swatted your hand but Ben refused, lying the jacket on you like a blanket.

"Take it, I'm fine. Plus, the heater is kicking in." He said, eyeing your shivering frame. "Come on." Waving his hand with his arms open, you slid over to him, pressed yourself against him while he wrapped his arms around you.

"I love the fall but it gets s-so cold..." You breathed, eyes shut as you lied against his chest.

"Gives you more of a reason to be all over me." He teased as you grinned. "I'll take you back home and we can warm you up in your bed."

"O-kay..." You nodded, Ben giving you a kiss on top of your head before you moved away.

Not wasting any time, Ben left the parking lot and quickly made his way to your place. Although it was easily a forty-five minute drive, Ben had the habit of speeding. Most of the time you were rubbing your hands, blowing into them and on occasion Ben would hold them.

Parking in your driveway, Ben looked over at you, seeing his rather large jacket drape you as you sat there with your hands in between your thighs, warming them. "How are your hands?" He asked, you turning your head to look at him.

"Better, my thighs do them justice." You said as Ben let out a small laugh. "And your jacket helped."

"Good, come on, let's get you inside." Turning his car off, the two of you got out and went back into your home.

"Ah, good! You two are back! Ben, your mother called me and invited us over to have a birthday dinner." Your mother spoke.

"Oh, okay..." He nodded. "Probably because we haven't spent my past three together."

"That's lovely." You smiled.

"We're gonna go ahead, you should go change." Your mother gestured to you.

"What, is the black on black not okay?" You snickered.

"No, it looks great on you, but your starting to pick up on Ben's...emo-ness." She teased, you nearly choking on a laugh as Ben frowned.

"Good one." You said, then grabbing Ben's hand and walking up the stairs, to your room.

"I think you look great in all black." Ben said.

"Of course you do, especially since these are the jeans you picked." Entering your room, you let go of Ben's hand as he sat on your bed, Jupiter moving over to him as she had been sat on her small bed.

"I have good taste in jeans, I mean, you look so damn good." He scoffed as you rolled your eyes, opening your closet and looking for something to wear. "Hey, maybe you should wear one of the dresses I helped choose when we went to the mall..."

Stopping midway, you raised a brow. "Hmm...you're right. But am I willing to freeze up?"

"We'll be indoors, babe. You'll be fine." Ben said, petting Jupiter as she purred.

"Fair enough but I get to wear your jacket."

"And what about me?" He asked.

"We'll be indoors, babe. You'll be fine." You mocked as Ben shook his head with a smirk.

"I should've seen that coming."

Pulling out a soft blue, long sleeved dress, you walked out. "Is this good?" You asked, Ben looking up.

"Yeah, but isn't it too short?" He asked. "I mean, too short in the sense you'll be cold. I don't care what length you wear, you look great in them all and-"

Covering his mouth with your finger, you leaned forward, "You're blabbering too much." Giving him a kiss, you then stood up straight and undressed in front of him.

"Ahh yeah...I'm not going to get over that." Staring at your body as you were just in your undergarments. you pulled on the loose fitted dress before moving to tug on black, thigh high socks.

"I haven't worn heels in a while so I'm wearing heels." You pointed a finger, walking back into your closet.

"Fine by me..." Ben mumbled.

The entire time you were changing, Rey had been messaging you like crazy about the surprise party. Of course, since it was a surprise your parents left beforehand whereas you two left afterwards.

"The neighbors must be having a party." Ben said as he rolled up to his house, you biting your inner lip as you nodded.

"On a sunday? How odd..." Feeling the car come to a stop, the two of you walked out of it and over to his front door. Quickly texting Rey, you slid your phone into your purse as Ben unlocked the door.

"Maybe it's the creeps birthday, too." Ben sniggered.

"Creep? That thirteen year old?" You asked as he hummed a yes. "Maybe..." Looking way as you mouthed a curse, realizing the teenage boy would be at the party no thanks to his parents lending the house for the parking, you quickly looked up as the door opened.

"Why is it so-"

"SURPRISE!" Hearing the sudden roar as it was instantly followed by cheering, Ben stood there with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I think your neighbor is having a birthday party." You spoke to him as you held his hand, Ben looking down at you and smiling.

"So this is why I suddenly had to sleep over, huh?" He asked.

"No, of course not! It's your birthday and what better way to spend most of it with your girlfriend." You winked as Ben smiled, leaning down and kissing you. "Go say hi to everyone." Shoving him away, you walked over to Rey.

"There is easily thirty people here. Most is family, but I've got his band mates and friends as well. Of course, your parents, too." Rey said as you hugged her, only to move back and eye Ben saying hello to Anakin and Padmé, the two engulfing him in a tight hug.

"So that's Anakin..." You said. "I met him at the hospital, Ben would talk about him a lot when we'd hangout. He seems like a great man."

"He is." Rey nodded. "But no one admires him more than Ben does." She laughed. "Not to say that our grandparents would pick favorites, but if they were to, our grandfather would for sure pick Ben..."

"I thought that would've been Padmé..." You said, looking over at Rey.

"She loves him, but she loves me more." Rey winked before walking off, Finn and Poe walking over to you and saying hello.

"So glad everyone's here!" You smiled as the two hugged you at once. "Even the band mates." You said, seeing the two from afar, speaking to Han.

"Yeah, this was a great idea, although last minute and on a Sunday. Ben deserves it." Poe nodded

"It'd be a good excuse to skip school tomorrow." Finn said as you shook your head. "What? We need a break already."

"Finn, we just had a field trip." You said.

"Yeah, but with the school! Winter break couldn't come any faster..." He groaned.

"It's coming real soon, just a few weeks." Patting Finn's shoulder, you walked off.

"So, the famous 'not Ben's type' ended up being his type, huh?" Sam, Poe's cousin, said as you approached him.

"Always have." You winked. "He just had his head up his behind to realize what bull was coming out of his mouth."

"Very true, he can be pretty dumb." Jesse said, the other band member. "But he's stepped up. I heard he asked you to be his girlfriend?"

"Mhm." You nodded with a smile.

"Glad to hear, maybe we'll be seeing you more often. It'll only make sense that you attend our practices since a lot of the songs are about you." Sam said as you blushed.

"I honestly would love to." Feeling your phone vibrate in your purse, you pulled it out, instantly raising your brows as you looked at the screen. "If you'll excuse me." Turning around and walking out of the house, you answered it.

Standing just outside on the front yard, speaking into the phone, your eyes landed on a black Charger that parked near the sidewalk. Tilting your head the slightest, you watched as a tall man, dressed in slacks and a black dress shirt with sleeves rolled up came out. His hair was quite long, just brushing his shoulders and dark as night--at least from where you were.

From where you stood, all you could see was his back side and you could tell very well that the man was built. And tall. _Very_ tall. You couldn't help but drool, he seemed so attractive even if you couldn't see his face.

Turning around as he pushed his hand through his hair, your eyes instantly widened as you gasped. You knew that face, that face was too familiar. Just as he looked up, your eyes instantly met with his, the man staring back and smirking. Feeling your heart lodge up in your throat as he walked your way, you spoke into your phone. "Gramps? Sorry, I have to call you back. Love you."

Just as you hung up, the man came to a stop in front of you, you feeling your heart wanting to break out of your chest. Why did he look so much like- "Hello, I don't think I've ever met you before." He spoke, low voice humming in your ears.

"H-hi..." You stuttered. "No, we haven't. Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that, a pretty face like yours is one I certainly couldn't pass." Sticking his hand out, you felt your face heat up at his comment before you looked down. Nervously grabbing on, you shook it. "My name is Kylo." He introduced, lifting your hand to his lips as he pressed a soft kiss to it. "Kylo Ren."

Feeling your heart flutter, your eyebrows narrowed. "Kylo? You're not Kylo?"

"Excuse me?" Looking at you as he lowered your hand, you shook your head. "I am Kylo."

"No. _That's_ Kylo." Pointing over to the window where the black cat had been sat, the man raised a brow.

Eyeing the cat, he let out a small huff. "Wow, Ben really must've missed me enough to name his own cat after me."

"What?" Looking back over at him, the man laughed. "Who are you, exactly? And how do you know Ben?"

"Is it not obvious?" He asked, sticking his hands into the pockets of his slacks, leaning forward and winking at you. "I'm Ben's older brother."


	42. Epilogue: Christmas/New Years

_Ben's brother_. The words echoed in your head, the moment nearly playing in front of you as if it were just yesterday. You were beyond stunned, how had you not known that Ben had an older brother? Let alone, how did you not see anything relating to him in the Solo home? That night of Ben's birthday, you couldn't help but keep an eye out on the man who called himself Kylo Ren.

Surprisingly enough, you weren't the only one who _hadn't_ known about him. Nearly everyone that wasn't family was in shock at the sight of a man who looked identical to Ben but clearly wasn't Ben. "You're still thinking about it, aren't you?" Ben spoke up as he sat beside you, the two of you out in his backyard in front of a small fire.

It was winter break and you had spent everyday doing something--hanging with the group, sleeping over the Solo's residence, going to Ben's band practice and plenty of other things. Today was Christmas Eve and the two of you sat by yourselves, outside in matching ugly Christmas sweaters. Leia had a small family dinner--including the mysterious Kylo Ren--and a few other family members in the Organa-Solo family. "No...no..." You shook your head, staring at the fire.

"Yes, you are." Ben said, looking at you. "I'm sorry, I never told you about him."

"It's...it's okay." You nodded, still not looking at Ben.

"No, it's not." He sighed. "Kylo's been a secret from the family ever since he moved out when he was sixteen. My parents were disappointed, but I was the most upset." Turning to look at him, Ben was now looking at the fire, arms wrapped around his knees. "Kylo was the closest thing I had to a best friend when no one wanted to befriend me. He was there for me, he always knew what to say and to comfort me..."

Watching as Ben's body slouched, his voice softened. "Although he was a good eight years older than me...he still was the greatest friend I had."

"Oh..." You lightly spoke.

"Things happened, he always fought with mom and dad, they always had problems. Then, one day, he moved out and that was the last I had seen of him. Of course, until I ran into him in Coruscant when I moved. He could hardly recognize me...even though we look a lot a like." He chuckled. "But, from then on, he promised to stay connected with me." Turning to look at you, he lightly smiled. "He even knew about you and my feelings for you."

Feeling your eyes widen the slightest, your cheeks reddened. Was that why he had been staring at you? "Really?"

"Mhm." Ben nodded. "I told him everything...I've even told him things that happened between us when I moved back." Ben admitted, turning his attention back ahead. "He was the one who made me realize I did really like you. He said, maybe you like her more than a simple crush...maybe that's why you let all these mistakes happen...because you're scared." Gazing at him, you sat in silence, heart skipping a beat. "He was right."

"Ben..." Moving to sit on your knees, you gently got a hold of his face as you kissed his cheek. Wrapping your arms around him, you leaned the side of your head against his shoulder. "I'm glad he helped you realize."

"I just wish he never left. Maybe I wouldn't have struggled as much? Maybe I wouldn't have left?" He breathed.

"Things happen for a reason and what's important is where we are now. Right here, next to one another, together and enjoying Christmas Eve." You nodded, then lifting your head up as you looked at him. "At least he's here now visiting. I'm sure he knows how happy that makes you."

"It's the greatest birthday present, honestly." He smiled as you did, too.

"You know...when I first saw your brother I was a bit...turned on." Snapping his head over at you, you laughed. "What? Your brothers pretty hot-"

"First my dad, now this?!" He shrieked.

"I'm sure your grandfather was also a very good looking man. I mean, your whole family is beautiful! Your mother and grandmother are gorgeous and Rey's super pretty!" You exclaimed as Ben rolled his eyes. "Hey, it runs and the genes and you've clearly got the good looks too." Grabbing onto his chin, you kissed him.

"You better not leave me for my brother. He may be rich now but he couldn't possibly love you like I do." Ben said as you held his chin, lips hovering from one another's.

"Hmm...rich, you say? Hot and rich? That's honestly a way to go, I wouldn't have to worry about college-"

"Y/n!"

"Maybe he can be my sugar daddy?" You raised a brow as Ben scoffed in disgust. "I'm kidding! I would never leave you for anyone else. I love you too much to." Leaning in, you pressed a kiss against his lips. "And I've waited too long for us to be together." You grinned.

"Good save." Ben said, narrowing his eyes. "I love you, too." Giving you a kiss, the two of you were just about to make out there and then until someone spoke up.

"Hey, if you two lovebirds are done making out, Han wants to open the gifts." Kylo spoke while leaning against the door, you looking over as one end of his lips curled up into a smirk.

"Although I think you need to watch out for your brother...I think he'd be the one to try taking me away." You muttered to Ben as his brows narrowed, you standing up and lending him a hand.

"That's not happening on my watch." Interlocking his fingers with yours, he kissed your cheek as the two of you walked on. "I'm surprised you're sticking around for this, isn't like this is your thing." Ben said as the two of you passed Kylo.

"I thought I'd give mom a break from worrying about me. I could care less about gifts. Although I do have my eye on one." Entering after the two of you, Ben looked over to see Kylo eyeing you.

"Well that's a shame, you can't steal other people's gifts." Moving you ahead of him to block Kylo from checking you out, Kylo snickered as he rolled his eyes.

"Alright, I know we usually open our gifts the day of, I thought we'd make an exception this year since we have a lovely addition to our family and because everyone's back home." Leia spoke as Ben took the last seat on the couch, you sitting on his lap. "Also, y/n, you've got a lot of gifts."

"What?" Your brows raised, only for Ben to shake his head.

"Don't look at me, I left most of your gifts from me under your tree." He said as you looked back over to Leia.

"We couldn't help it. Actually, I couldn't help it. I wanted to spoil you for being so lovely and a great person to our grandson." Padmé spoke. "Leia speaks highly of you and so does Ben, as well as Rey...and Luke, and I've seen it first hand."

"Th-thank you..." You shyly spoke as everyone's attention went on you.  "You didn't have-"

"It's nothing, honesty. You deserve it." She winked as you smiled.

"Also, Rey got you some things as well as Han and I-"

"And me." Kylo spoke, you looking over with wide eyes.

"Kylo, what did I say about trying to steal your brothers girlfriend?!" Leia snapped.

"I'm not! She's a part of the family now and I got her a little something." He shrugged.

"I swear, if it's anything from Victoria Secrets..." Rey mumbled as Kylo rolled his eyes.

"Let the poor girl be. Kylo, you're always trying to start up something." Anakin said as Kylo sighed.

"I'm sorry about this..." Ben whispered to you as you patted his thigh in reassurance.

"Why don't we just open the gifts." Han spoke, Leia agreeing as she passed out the gifts. Needless to say she was right, you did get a lot.

"Okay..." You breathed, opening the last one that was Kylo's. "It's a...a leather jacket?" Lifting it up, Ben let out a sigh in relief.

"The night I met you, you had an awfully large jacket on, then I realized it must've been Ben's so I bought you your own." Kylo said as you turned to Ben, shrugging.

"Just a jacket, see? Nothing bad." You mumbled.

"Check the pockets!" Rey called out as you then looked at her, shaking your head.

"There's nothing in the pockets, relax. I'm not trying to steal Ben's girlfriend away. Plus, she's in high school."

"That wouldn't have stopped you." Rey mumbled as Anakin fought a laugh.

"Thank you, Kylo." You smiled, the man winking as Leia saw and rolled her eyes. "I think it's time Ben and I go, thank you all for having me." Standing up as Ben had to, you said your goodbyes. "It was lovely to finally meet you two, Bail and Breha." Hugging the two, they grinned.

"Thank you for coming!" Leia said, pulling you into a tight embrace while Ben gathered your gifts to put in his car. "I'll see you for New Year's eve?"

"Of course." You smiled with a nod.

"Y/n." Just as you were about to go outside to meet up with Ben, you turned and saw Kylo approach you. "Don't worry, I'm not here to flirt. Although you are awfully beautiful..."

"Kylo..." You raised a brow.

"My brother loves you, and I'm sure you know that." Nodding your head with a hum, the man went on, "Take good care of him and his heart, alright? He's never had anyone close to him that wasn't me. Not even Poe could get at that level. You are his everything, literally. He's told me a lot about you and I knew that you're just as much his best friend as his lover. Ben's a good kid with a great heart. Take care of it." He said as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"O-of course. I wouldn't dare do anything less." You smiled as Kylo smiled back.

"Good. Then I pass that title over to you." Ruffling your hair with a wink, Kylo stuck his hands into his pockets, turning around.

"What title?" You questioned, Kylo just about to walk away.

"Let's just say you'll be like Ben's guardian angel." He spoke over his shoulder before walking off, you smiling to yourself as you then rubbed your cheeks.

Tuning back around and exiting the house, you saw Ben moving from his trunk, over to the front of his car. "You've got a ton of gifts. My family must really love y-" Cutting him off, you pulled him into a kiss.

"I love you." You muttered, moving away from the kiss as you held Ben's face.

Blushing, Ben's lips curved into a smile. "I love you, too..."

"Let's get going, I'm tired." Walking around the car to the passengers seat, Ben stood there for a moment, only to shrug. He enjoyed unexpected moments like that.

. . .

"Shhh...don't wake them up, I want them to feel like kids." Your mother whispered, practically tiptoeing to your bedroom.

"Honey, they're young adults-"

"Shhh, it's Christmas, let them be kids!" She pointed a finger as she loudly whispered.

Shrugging, your father walked behind your mother as she carefully opened the door, quietly walking in and seeing Ben's mattress empty. Narrowing her brows, she then looked up at your bed, seeing the two of you cuddled up. "Aww..."

"I swear if they-"

"Shhh! They're just sleeping! They have clothes on." She pointed.

Lying on your bed in a matching long sleeved pajama, cuddled up against Ben as he had a hand in your hair while his other under his pillow, you had wrapped your arms around him. With your forehead against his chin, legs intertwined and the sheets all the way to your shoulders, you slept comfortable.

"They look so adorable..." Your mother spoke in awe, attention turning to low noises coming from her left, seeing Cosmo pressed up against Jupiter as he slept on her bed with her. "This is so cute. I don't want to wake any of them up."

"Then I'll do it-"

"No!" Your mother pointed a finger, pushing your father back. "I'll give them a bit more time, they came home late from his house."

"Fine. Then I get to have their cookies." Just about to grab one, your mother smacked his hand, then waved her own.

"Shoo! Let's leave them be." Walking out, she carefully shut the door.

Fluttering your eyes open, you heard Ben groan the slightest, moving his hand from in your hair as you then moved back. "Merry Christmas." You muttered, stretching your arms as you had let go of him.

"Mmm...you too." Turning to lie on his back, you chuckled.

"C'mon, wake up." Nudging his arm, rocking him, Ben swatted your hand but you kept going. "Babe, get up."

"Let's sleep-"

"No way, it's Christmas!" Still nudging him, Ben grabbed your hand, pulling it to his eyes and lying it there. "Beeen..."

"Moonlight, please." He mumbled.

"No." Sitting up and removing your hand, you poked his cheek. "Let's get up so we can open gifts!"

"Are you a kid?" He asked, eyes still shut. Rolling your own, you got off the bed and opened the curtains, then moved back to Ben and straddled him. "Yep, you're a kid."

"Get up, get up. Come on, get up." You repeated, grabbing onto his face and messing with his cheeks. "Ben, I will open your gifts without you."

"You wouldn't." He sad, peeking an eye.

"I would." You smirked, Ben instantly flipping you over and lying on you.

"Now you can't." Resting against your chest, you groaned in annoyance.

"Ugh, you suck." You frowned.

"No, _you_ do." He snickered as you smacked the back of his head, causing him to rub it. "Ow..."

"You saw that coming." Shoving him off of you, or at least trying as much, you slid out and made your way to your bathroom.

Flipping himself over, he forced himself out of the bed and followed you. "I'm so tired..." Resting his forehead against your shoulder, he wrapped his arms around your waist. "Let's nap after we open gifts." He mumbled against your skin before leaving a small kiss.

"Ben...no."

"Fine." Standing up, he moved to brush his teeth as you had, too.

After freshening up, and wasting time as Ben kept bugging you while you two were brushing your teeth, you picked up Cosmo as Ben got Jupiter and the two of you walked downstairs. "Aw, yay! They're up!" Your mother smiled.

"You two eat and then we'll open gifts." Your father said as you nodded. "Your brothers won't be here, but they said to take photos of you when you open the gifts they got you." He said before leaving your sight.

"Cosmos first Christmas!" You smiled, grabbing the pugs face and kissing his forehead. "My little baby, I love you!" You said to him as he licked your face, Ben grinning as he held Jupiter, only to place her down as she sat beside his feet. "Did daddy get you anything for Christmas?"

"Y/n, what did we say about daddy?" Ben whispered over to you.

"Ahh, right, it's your kink-"

"And yours!" He shot back as you stifled a laugh. "Not around your parents, they could hear us."

"Oh, relax, they're in living room." Placing Cosmo down, you washed your hands before serving yourself, Ben doing the same.

After quickly eating your breakfast, you rushing Ben, the two of you were now sat at a couch as your mother handed the gifts, your parents opening up theirs before Ben went, leaving you last. "Thank you, Ben, you didn't have to." Your mother smiled.

"Honestly...you didn't." Your father said sarcastically, holding his gift.

"Nice one." You winked at Ben. "Dad, you should try it on!"

"I am not wearing this!" He exclaimed as you laughed.

"It suits you! It says 'Old Man'!" You pointed as he rolled his eyes.

"Let's move to Ben's gift." Your mom said, holding in a laugh.

Opening his gifts, you giving him a few, he nearly cried. The fact that you even got him something made him happen. "Ben, stop." You chuckled.

"What? I'm not crying...it's allergies." He sniffed, you smiling. "These are all great. Especially this one." Picking up the small frame that was a photo of you two (and Cosmo) on your first date, he cried.

"Aw, Ben." Holding onto the back of his neck as you kissed his cheek, your mother tearing up.

"Why are you crying?" Your father asked her, the woman smacking his arm.

"Because I am happy for them. Jerk." She shook her head as you and Ben eyed one of the other gifts you gave him, a small book of moments you two--and the group shared--with Ben.

"I can't believe you made this. You wanted me to cry." He said, continuously wiping tears.

"I did it because I want you to know that you're not alone and that your friends and girlfriend love you." You smiled, stroking his cheek with your thumb as he then looked at you. "By the way, I have another gift but it's upstairs." You winked, Ben's eyebrows raising.

"Okay, why don't _you_ open your gifts." He said.

"About time." Moving to your gifts, which had been a lot, you took a while.

Creating a pile from the things you got, your mother taking photos as you shrieked about everything you got, Ben watched happily. You seemed like a toddler experiencing Christmas with how happy you were. "Okay and I think that's the last one." Your mother said, handing you something rectangular and wrapped. "It's from Ben, I almost forgot about it!"

"Oh, what is it?" You asked, looking at him.

"You'll see." He smiled, you looking down and opening up the rap, seeing a pink cover with the words 'Star Girl' on it.

"Star Girl?" You questioned, removing the remaining wrap, opening up the book and seeing there had been poetry. "Aw, Ben! Is this your poems?" Gasping, you looked over at him.

"Mhm, there's easily like...fifty in there. Ones from when I first started all the way till last week. The last one is fairly new. It's called Star Girl." He admitted as you wore a toothy smile, flipping through and then closing it.

"I'll read one every night. If I don't grow impatient." You laughed, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "This is the best gift out of them all. I mean, every single one was great! Especially the five stuffed bunnies!"

"I couldn't decide, maybe Cosmo and Jupiter can have one." He shrugged, looking over at the two as Cosmo played with his new toy while Jupiter lied there in her new collar.

"No way, I'm keeping them all." Standing up, you grabbed as many of your gifts as you could, the bunnies stuffed up against you as you walked off. "I'm putting these on my bed."

"Thank you, Ben, for coming and joining us." Your mother smiled as he gathered his things.

"Always." He smiled back, moving to follow you up the stairs and to your room. Seeing you arrange the stuffed bunnies on your bed before placing your gifts on your desk, Ben shut your door and sat his gifts on top of his bag. "So...what's the other gift?" Ben questioned, curious. 

Smirking to yourself, you went into your closet and pulled out a pair of folded shirts, walking back out as Ben had sat on your bed. "I got us matching shirts."

"Why are you making that face?" He asked, you handing over the top shirt to him as he grabbed on, focus still set on you.

"You'll see." Unbuttoning your top, removing it and pulling your shirt on, Ben's eyes widened.

"You're...you're gonna wear a bra with that? Right?" Seeing as the shirt had hugged your chest, you rolled your eyes.

"Ben, do you think I could actually wear this to go out?" You asked, pointing at it as he read it. "At least, when my parents are around."

"Baby girl?" He raised a brow, the pink lettering on the white shirt printed on your chest. "Y/n, don't tell me-" Lifting his shirt up, his face instantly flourished with heat.

"Come on, put it on." You grinned, Ben staring at the shirt. "It's perfect, you have to wear it."

"Y/n, your parents could see this!" He nearly shrieked, looking over at you for a moment.

"Shh...they have their Christmas brunch with my moms best friends, it's okay, they should be leaving in any moment." You winked, grabbing the shirt from Ben's grip and going to remove his. 

Sighing as his shoulders slumped, Ben allowed you to remove the shirt. "We are not wearing these in public." He shook his head, you grabbing the white shirt that had blue lettering on it, pulling it over his head.

"Why not?" Moving to straddle him, you read the fitted shirt as your hands then pressed against his chest. " _Daddy_."

. . .

Hearing the loud beat of the music blasting in your house, bass pounding against the walls as everywhere you looked there was people--conversing, drinking, messing around--you walked down your stairs, searching the crowd. It was New Years Eve and your parents decided to through a party. Nearly everyone in your family--except grandfather--were there, along with Ben's family and a ton of family friends.

Seeing not a single sign of Ben as you stood on the second to last step, you sighed. You easily pinpointed Rey, Finn and Poe. Then there was your cousin and the twins from school. Then your brothers...your parents...Phasma...but no Ben. "You're looking for Ben, huh?" Hearing the familiar voice, you let a small sigh leave your lips. "You're afraid you won't get your New Years kiss?" Turning your head from looking to the left, now ahead of you, you crossed your arms.

"No, Kylo." You sharply spoke. "I'm looking for Ben because he's my _boyfriend_ and I have no clue where he is. He won't answer his phone. Do you know where he is?" You asked.

Letting out a small breath, Kylo removed one hand from his pocket, leaning his arm against the railing as he looked at you--you two being almost at eye level. "I did see him, but he disappeared from my sight, sorry." Kylo shrugged. "But, I promise you I can give you a wonderful New Years kiss." He teased, you only rolling your eyes.

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm positive your brother kisses better." Pressing your hand against his shoulder, you pushed past and walked away. Kylo had this bad habit of flirting with you--no matter who was around. You knew it was nothing but fun and games, after all, he knew how much his brother loved you and the reverse.

Pushing past people, searching around in hopes to find Ben, you looked down at your phone in hopes he had messaged you but nothing was shown. Sighing, you walked over to the back doors that lead to the backyard, opening them and walking out. Instantly shivering as the cold air pinched your skin, you wrapped your arms around yourself. Since there had been so many people inside, it made your house warm, but outside was a different story. 

Walking around, completely avoiding the pool, not wanting to accidentally fall in if your heel had gotten caught in the cement cracks, you groaned. "Where the hell are you?" You breathed, seeing the puff of air pop out. Rubbing your arms, annoyed in the fact that the long-sleeved dress you were in was too thin. "Ben?!" You called out but getting no response. "Ben, I swear to the stars above if you left..." Storming back inside, you decided to check the front yard. 

Excusing yourself as you slid through groups, you rushed up to your front door, opening it and walking out. Not seeing him amongst the cars, you instantly did a double take. Letting out a breath in relief, you smiled. Ben had been sitting on his car, gazing at the night sky and watching the fireworks go off. Hearing the sound of your heels as you approached him, Ben looked over and grinned. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry I couldn't communicate with you through your mind because apparently you don't have a phone." You arched a brow, Ben's own narrowing as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.

"Whoops..."

"Yeah, whoops." Coming to a stop at his car, your bare palms pressed against the metallic surface, making your shiver. "I am not sitting on this, it's too cold." You spoke up to him.

"Come on, you can sit on me." He waved a hand, you only tilting your head. "And you can wear my jacket." Smiling, you climbed on, careful not to fall as Ben moved you to sit on him, removing his jacket and placing it on you. Wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder, the two of you watched the distant fireworks.

"Your brother was flirting with me." You spoke, Ben rolling his eyes. "Do you think he actually likes me?"

"Wouldn't doubt it. I like you." Ben snickered as you gently elbowed him. "You're right, I _love_ you."

"Ben..." You groaned. "Does it not bother you?"

"Of course it does, but, you love me. I know you wouldn't do anything, and my brother isn't stupid enough to pull anything." He spoke. "I'm kind of the only one in the entire family who still respects him."

"Oh..." You nodded.

"Don't worry about it." Pressing a kiss on the side of your head, he kissed your cheek before resting his chin against your shoulder once again. "He won't get in between us." Nodding again, you leaned against Kylo, a faint sound of people chanting coming from inside.

"I guess it's almost time..." You mumbled, gazing at the sky. _10, 9, 8, 7_ \- turning around, you moved to straddle Ben. _6, 5, 4_ \- wrapping your arms around his neck, Ben held onto your waist. _3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!_ Pressing your lips against his with a smile, Ben kissed back.

"Happy New Year, sunshine." You muttered against his lips.

Just about to close the gap, Ben spoke, "Happy New Year, moonlight."


	43. Epilogue: Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW

Out of the almost four years you had been dating Hux, you would've thought that Valentine's day was going to be your favorite holiday, when--in fact--it was not. It was nowhere near your favorite, it was possibly your least favorite. Valentine's day with Hux was like any other day except you'd only get the same bouquet of red roses every year...kind of why you started disliking red roses and preferred the pink kind.

But now that you weren't with Hux, rather, the person you should've been with since the beginning, you had hope that Valentine's day was going to make its way up in your favorites. "Oh, gosh...I have no clue what to do..." You muttered, sitting on the bleaches with your face in the palm of your hands as you and Rey watched Poe practice for football.

"What are you mumbling about?" Rey spoke up, mouth half full from the chips she had been munching on.

"It's about Ben-"

"What did he do?!" The brunette nearly snapped, bag almost flinging out of her grip, only for you to grab her hand and hold onto her shoulder with your free one.

"Whoa, he didn't do anything." Shaking your head as Rey's now furrowed brows loosened up, you let out a small breath. "Valentine's day is really close and I have no clue what to do for him-"

"Ugh, ew." Rolling her eyes as she scoffed, your shoulders dropped. "Don't think about coming to me for advice, that's my brother we're talking about." She pointed her finger as you were the one to roll your eyes now.

"Rey, you're my best friend-"

"So is Poe!" She exclaimed as you now glared at her.

Raising a brow, you crossed your arms. "Oh, so now Poe's my best friend? What happened to you being my _only_ best friend?" You mocked as Rey looked away, frowning the slightest as she sighed.

"Look...how do you expect me to give you advice on the most intimate holiday of the year when you're dating my _brother_?" She looked back over at you as you gave her an 'are you serious' look.

"Rey, I am not asking you for what fun and exciting sex positions I should use or where to go to buy sex toys or what lingerie-" Covering your mouth with her hand, Rey shook her head.

"Do _not_ finish that."

Moving her hand away, you let out a breath. "I just need help. Hux and I never had any good Valentine's day, the only 'fun' thing we did was actually for his entertainment and it was going to the damn town hall for a free tour." Rolling your eyes with a scoff, Rey snickered.

"That boy does not have a single fun bone in his body..." Shaking her head, you sighed.

"Tell me about it...and I suffered for almost four years, so it feels good to not date such a bland person like himself, rather-"

"Okay, yeah, so Valentine's day ideas!" Rey interrupted before you could go on and mention her brother. "You can't go wrong with food, so what about dinner? Go somewhere or make something?"

"Not fun enough."

"Okay...make him something?"

"I'm not creative enough to..."

"Fine. Then...then surprise him! Maybe set up his room or-actually...don't do that cause I'll be next door so like go to a hotel or something." Rey swatted a hand as you chuckled. "But, yeah, get a room and decorate it or something and dress all...cute and call him over and...I don't know why I'm suggesting such thing when this can lead somewhere I really don't want it to-"

"That's it!" You exclaimed, standing up from your spot. "I can do that! Maybe I can be in my cheerleading outfit!" Wiggling your brows, Rey gagged.

"Please, don't..."

"Or stay in this, he really likes-"

"Y/n, I swear, I will murder you before you can enjoy the holiday." Rey warned as you laughed.

"I'm kidding! I'll go look around at the mall and get something cute. Thanks for the help!" Leaning down and kissing the top of her head, you then patted it before grabbing your bag and rushing off.

Watching you dart down the bleachers and over to the sidewalk, Rey sighed. "What's important is that they're happy...not the fact that I'm going insane knowing my brother is dating my own best friend and they're...they're..." Unable to finish it, she shook her head and covered her mouth. "I think I'm gonna throw up..."

Quickly making your way over to the bus stop as the first thing you were going to do was get an outfit, you planned it all out in your head. From what you were hoping to wear to how you were going to decorate the place, to even how you'd present yourself, you quickly boarded the bus.

Even though the holiday was a few days away, you were growing excited. At least now, this time around, you had something to look forward to with someone who truly appreciated you and showed it.

. . .

Moving from store to store, trying on and discarding clothing as they weren't good enough, you came to a stop at one as your eyes landed on an outfit on display. Feeling your jaw drop, your eyes suddenly turned into hearts. "That's it!"

Rushing into the store and searching for the outfit, you quickly found it. Grabbing onto the dress and matching boots, you instantly aimed for the fitting room.

Although you had spent a good few hours looking for the right thing, you weren't completely empty handed--you did end up buying something from Victoria Secrets if all else had failed. But, by the look of yourself in the mirror as you had tugged on the body-tight dress and zipped up the boots, you knew the attire was just enough to drive Ben mad. He was one of _those_ who'd easily get turned on.

Smirking at yourself in the mirror, eyeing the red velvet dress, you spoke to yourself. "Ben is so going to nut." Studying the dress, you lifted it up the slightest, only for it to pick up your breasts even more and expose more of your cleavage. "Oh god...he's going to die at the sight of this."

It hugged your body perfectly, nearly giving you an hour glass shape as the rather short dress started pretty low on your chest and ended just above mid thigh. You were sure if you were to bend over, you'd expose your ass.

Then, there were the boots, they had thick heels that were easily four inches high and went above your knee, them also being red velvet. You absolutely loved the smooth texture and you were sure Ben would, too, specially when he was going to want to rip it off. You couldn't help it, you were excited for him to see you in it, you had the urge to take a photo and send it.

Holding back the desire to do so, you gave yourself one last look, "You're going to kill him." With a wink, you turned to change.

Buying the set and leaving the store, you decided to go get a few things for the room. Your idea was to get candles and light the place up with a lovely scent, petals galore all over the place as you'd lie on the bed waiting for him. You also wanted to get balloons and go all out, but you decided to limit yourself and make sure the attention from yourself wouldn't be taken away.

Deciding to get the flower petals the day of, you bought the candles and left the mall, going back home. "Four days...just four days." Taking in a deep breath, you nodded. "Ben has no idea what he's in for!"

. . .

"Y/n has no idea what she's in for!" Ben spoke over to Poe.

"So...you're going to basically...lie naked on her bed? What if her parents walk in? What if her twin brothers visit?"

"No! That's not what I said!" Ben snapped. "I said, I'm going to decorate her room, make it all...cute and crap, set up her bath tub and then surprise her!"

"So...are you going to be waiting in the tub?" Poe questioned as Ben sighed.

"I'm going to take her home from school and surprise her with it. I would rather her come home to see me in a robe or, preferably, naked on her bed-"

"Aha! I knew you had said it!" Poe pointed a finger as Ben rolled his eyes.

"As I was saying...we have school the day of and I can't really do that. I'll save it for next year, I'm sure there'll be a next year." Ben nodded with a smile.

"Well, that's good, you've put a lot of effort into this but how are you going to do it when it's during school and you can't get in her house without her parents wondering what the hell it is you're up to?"

"Oh, that's simple, I'll ditch during lunch and use the key she gave me." He shrugged as Poe blinked.

"She...she gave you a key?" Nodding his head, Poe let out a breath. "Of course she did, why am I surprised? Although she never did that for Hux..."

"Because he wasn't good enough. _Obviously_." Ben pointed out matter-of-factly. "I've gotta get going, Valentine's day is two days away and I want to get everything beforehand." Patting his best friends shoulder, he exited his room. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Good luck not getting caught!" Poe called out, shaking his head. "He's totally going to get caught."

. . .

As the days had past and your anticipation grew on you, it was finally Valentine's day and you made sure to wake up extra early. Although you had to lie to your parents and say the cheer squad was doing an early meet up--hence why you had the duffle bag--you left your stuff at the hotel, buying the petals and went back to decorate, then headed to school. It was worth waking up before the sun was even out.

Seeing Ben's car come into view in the student parking lot as you told him the same lie you told your parents, claiming you were going to be dropped off by them rather than him take you, you rushed over to his car. "Ben!" You exclaimed, ditching Rey and Finn's side to basically jump the boy.

Almost being tackled by you the second he got out of his car, he lifted you up with an arm and pressed a kiss against your lips. Lifting up his free hand as the two of you parted, you saw a bouquet of pink roses--Ben remembering how you weren't fond of the red. "Happy Valentine's day." He grinned as you nearly shrieked, giving him another kiss before he put you down and handed you the dozen flowers.

"Hey, after school I need you to meet me at the hotel your dad helps run." You eagerly nodded.

Blinking, Ben let out a small laugh. "Uh...babe, I-"

"Please! Do not make any other plans, I need you to go there. Trust me, you'll love it." You beamed as Ben nodded, sighing the slightest.

"Fine, but after, we're going to your place." Narrowing your brows, you then shrugged.

"Alright!" Hearing Rey call out to you, you looked over. "I'll meet you in class, okay?" Tugging him down by his tie, you kissed his cheek, waving goodbye before jogging back to Rey.

Watching you walk away with Rey and Finn as Phasma then joined the three of you, Ben let out a deep sigh. "How did I not see this coming?"

Although things weren't entirely going according to plan, Ben had still ditched lunch, telling you his father needed his help to get something for his mother, you believing and not even bothering to ask Rey if it was true; too excited for the afternoon to happen to even be suspicious.

"No study hall for me, I'll see you tomorrow!" You waved at Rey as she shook her head, knowing exactly why. She couldn't believe you had actually gone with her plan.

Quickly making your way to the bus stop, eagerly shaking your leg along the drive to the stop closest to the hotel, you rushed out after thanking the driver. Although Ben never came back from skipping lunch, you had hoped he wasn't going to be too busy that he'd forget about what you told him, so, being the eager person you were you left him a message.

Darting over to the elevator and quickly hitting the floor number, tapping your foot as you looked at the floor numbers being shown above the elevator doors, you nearly squealed when the doors opened. Running out and over to the door, swiftly opening it and dropping your school bag, you opened up your duffle bag and pulled out the dress and shoes, stripping out of your school uniform.

Removing your underwear and changing in to the two piece lingerie you had bought, you only groaned. "Aw, no, the straps..." You frowned, letting out a sigh as you removed the bra and decided to just be in the underwear, tugging on the dress and pulling on the boots, zipping them up and taking in a deep breath. "Alright...lets hope he gets the text and remembers."

Stuffing your things back into your duffle bag, hiding both your school and cheer bag in the closet, you walked over to the mirror and fixed your hair, leaving it all down. In all honesty, you were anxious about it all. Nervous to the point your stomach was filled with butterflies.

Hearing your phone vibrate, you rushed over to it and saw a message from Ben.

_I'll be there soon._

Gulping your eyes widened. "Okay...okay..." Locking your phone and putting it on the dresser, you light up the candles.

Plopping on the bed that was now covered in rose petals--they were almost everywhere--you let out a small breath. Even though you had gone a little excessive, you loved the outcome.

Making his way into the elevator as his heart raced, hoping you'd like the set up he left in your room, Ben shook his hands. "She'll love it, I'm sure of it. She always talks about how much she loves bath bombs." Panicking the slightest as he feared he had gone over the top, seeing as he wasn't really the romantic type but gave it his all, the elevator opened to the floor the hotel room was in.

Walking over to the door and unlocking it as he had a spare key, he opened it up, only to smell the scent of vanilla and to see rose petals scattered around. Seeing something in his peripheral view, Ben slowly turned his head, heart instantly sinking to his feet and melting at the sight of you, lying there with a smirk. "Happy Valentine's day, babe."

"F-fu..." Unable to finish the word as his jaw dropped, you crawled off the bed and walked over to him, the boy still dressed in his school uniform. "You...you look...wow." Stumbling over his words, you grabbed onto his tie.

"I'm sure you'd like it off." You whispered in his ear as he gulped. Moving your lips in front of his, you spoke before kissing him, "But, I'll let you do that."

Feeling his body suddenly shake as his heart raced, Ben latched onto your waist as you dug your fingers into his hair. Hungrily kissing him, you slowly moved back to the bed and shoved him on it. "This...this isn't a fantasy...right?" Ben asked as you shook your head, smirking.

"Nope, it's all very real." Gliding your hands down his chest, you loosened his tie before tearing open his shirt, leaving red lipstick stained kisses all over his torso.

"Y-yeah...very real." He breathed, eyes squeezing shut as you moved your kisses to his neck, finding his sweet spots. "This is...this makes what I did for you seem rated PG compares to this...rated R stuff-"

"Shhh..." You hushed, pressing your index finger against his lips. "Less talking, more moaning."

"You're nowhere near being pure."

"No thanks to you." You snickered, kissing him, biting his bottom lip as your hands moved to his belt. It was obvious how turned on he was by the moment and you wanted nothing more but to free him.

"Sh-it..." He panted, body growing hot as your hand slid down his now loose pants. Even with the belt off and button undone, his underwear felt like a restraint, too. " _Fuck_." Palming him against his underwear, Ben got a hold of your wrist while his free hand grabbed tightly onto the bed sheet. "Don't do this to me..." He groaned but you smirked, moving your hand away and straddling him.

Separating your knees further apart, you rubbed yourself against him, feeling him grow harder underneath you as his breathing quickened. Bitting your inner lip, you moved yourself slower against him, to get a better feel as you let out a small noise. Looking at you, Ben's body grew more hot the longer he stared at you. The way you'd raise your eyebrows, bite your bottom lip and flutter your eyes made him want to rip your dress right off.

"It's a good thing this holiday is for the two of us." Sitting up, Ben grabbed onto your face and kissed you desperately, you responding in the same manner as you held his wrists.

"Mhm..." Humming into the kiss, you stood up and removed the boots, Ben's hands trailed up your back, reaching for the zipper.

"This...needs to go..." Unzipping it, he tugged it down as your arms had wrapped around his shoulders, you kissing him. Feeling the dress fall to your ankles, you kicked it off, Ben pushing back to gasp. "I expected lingerie but this is so much better." He breathed, staring at your chest.

"Look down." You smirked, Ben's eyes slowly shifting down, only to gasp again.

"You're wearing them. You're wearing the panties..." He gawked, you nodding. "You took them from my car?"

"Seriously, Ben?" Narrowing your brows at him, he nodded.

"You're right, they look good on you but look much better off of you." Pushing you onto the bed as he stood up, Ben began to leave a trail of kisses down your body. Starting from your forehead, he kissed the tip of your nose, your cheeks and then your lips. Moving along your jaw and down you neck, his kisses grew stronger the lower he went--along your collar bones, down your breasts, along your stomach and hip bones. Stopping at the waistband of the red underwear, Ben grinned.

Pressing kisses against the underwear, your breath hitched the lower he went, moving in between your thighs before kissing either of them. "Ben..." You breathed, lying against the bed and gazing at the ceiling.

"You went through all this hard work for me, let me repay you." He said, pulling you closer to the edge as you took in deep breaths while he slid off your underwear.

Lying against the soft bed sheets, your eyes instantly widened the moment Ben made his way in between your thighs, going down on you. Instantly clutching the bedsheets, you gasped, chest heaving as your heart raced. Pulling your legs over his shoulders as he held onto your thighs, you roughly bit down on your lip as his tongue worked it's magic.

Gliding your hands along the bed, you moved them up and into his hair, gently tugging at it as you felt your insides twist and burn. Your body growing hot as lengthy moans built up in your throat and sounded.

Feeling your eyelids grow heavy as you blinked continuously, trying to keep them open, your lips parted as a small gasp left your lips. The more Ben had done it, the better he got.

Digging your fingers into his hair and constantly tugging with every shift of his tongue, your eyes shut. Slightly arching your back, you let out small noises. The sensation was unbearable, your body felt like it had been experiencing something other worldly. "Ugh, Ben..." You groaned as you came, hands falling from his hair as he finished you off.

Panting as you lied there, Ben lifted his head up and grinned. Moving onto your forearms, you watched as he licked his lips. "You taste heavenly, as usual." Rolling your eyes with a small smile, Ben moved your legs off of him before standing up and removing his opened shirt. Tossing it to a side along with his tie, he was quick to undress himself before he moved on top of you, going back to kissing your soft skin.

Kissing under the end of your jaw, leaving a trail along your neck, he began to lick and nip at it. The black and blues becoming apparent as he moved to the next one. "How did this...end up being a gift for myself?" You asked, eyes shut as Ben pinned your hands above your head, his own fingers interlocking with yours.

"What? You don't think eating you out isn't a gift to me?" He asked, lifting himself up to look down at you.

Letting out a small laugh, you shook your head. "Anything having to do with my body and your mouth is a gift to you."

"Damn right." He winked, going back to kissing your neck.

"But...I'm curious..."

"About?" He muttered against your skin.

"Did you do anything for me?" You asked, Ben lifting himself once again and smirking.

"I guess we'll have to see." Letting go of your hands, one of his held your face as the other kept his balance, lips pressing against your own. Pushing him down as he lied on his side, you held onto the back of his neck and kissed him even more. Holding onto your waist, Ben pulled you as close as he could to himself. Pressing your body against his as you shoved him back, your arms wrapped around his neck as you continued to attack his lips with your own, tongues gliding as his hands trailed up and down your bare back.

You wanted nothing more than to kiss him like you were now--in a hotel, completely comfortable to be bare around one another and being so close. You wouldn't change the moment, it was more intimate than anything and you enjoyed it and the close proximity.

Lying there for what felt like hours, Ben spoke up, "As much as I absolutely love having our bodies pressed against one another as we nearly suck each others faces off, I really want to take you to your surprise." He spoke against your lips, leaving small kisses along them.

"A surprise?" You smiled as he hummed a yes. "Is it better than mine?"

"Well, nothing beats walking in on your girlfriend lying on a bed looking as if she's going to screw the life out of you...but I think it hits that nice level of romance we need for the holiday." He said as you leaned back enough to look at him.

"Hmm, now you've got me even more excited. Something romantic, huh?" Seeing Ben nod, you smiled and gave him one last kiss. "Well, I have to see it then." You said, sitting up, getting off of him and moving to grab your duffle bag.

Lying on his back and staring at the ceiling, he wore a confident smirk. "You're going to love it."

. . .

The second Ben pulled up in front of your house he was more than happy to see that your parents weren't home. Of course, later he realized you had told him your parents would be out all day, having an event in the evening.

Carrying your school bag as Ben held your duffle bag, the two of you walked up the steps of your house and over to your room. "Okay, it looks quite similar to what you did and I'm sorry but I really wanted you to enjoy the day and be amazed and feel loved-"

"Ben, stop worrying." You said, looking up at him. "I'd enjoy the day just being around you, okay? I feel very loved." Tiptoeing, you kissed his cheek. "Can I open my door?" You asked.

"Uh, wait." Moving behind you, he covered your eyes with his own hands.

Laughing, you went to grab the door knob. "Of course you'd do that." Pushing the door open, you walked forward along with Ben, stepping into your room.

"Okay..." Slowly removing his hands, he smiled, "Happy Valentine's day."

Opening your eyes, the ends of your mouth instantly curved up, teeth showing as you beamed. "Ben! This is so damn adorable!" You exclaimed, eyeing your room and shrieking. "Aww...this is way better than what I did." Seeing the pink rose petals all over your bed, a bunch making a giant heart with your nickname [moonlight] in it, your eyes trailed up the bed to see a large, stuffed bunny. "More bunnies." You smiled.

"There can never be enough bunnies for you." He chuckled as you smiled.

Seeing a dozen of heart shaped balloons floating against your ceiling as you had looked up, a pink rose came into your view as you looked back down. "Aw, Ben." You teared up.

"I love you, moonlight." Grabbing the flower and looking at him, you jumped him as you engulfed him in a hug, crying into his shoulder.

"Gosh, what ever did I do to deserve you?! You're so cute and adorable and perfect." You muttered, Ben's cheeks burning as he held you up.

"I'm not perfect, I'm just loving you the way you should be loved." Leaning back to look at him, you held his face and softly smiled. "I didn't intend on making you cry, I'm sorry-"

"No, no! It's happy tears, I promise. I'm so happy, so very happy!" You nodded as his frown turned. "I love you so much, sunshine!" Pulling him into a kiss, Ben walked you over to your bathroom door, kissing you back before he settled you on your sinks counter.

Letting go of him, you looked over at your tub to see candles surrounding it along with more petals on the floor and in the tub. "Ben..."

"It's too much, I know, I just-"

"This is the best Valentine's day I have ever had..." Eyeing the tub, your hands held onto his arms before looked back up at him. "It's perfect, thank you."

Nodding his head, he kissed your forehead. "Come on, let's take a bubble bath."

"A bubble bath?" You laughed.

"I was going to do a bath bomb thing for you but a bubble bath seemed more fun." He shrugged. "And your tub is pretty decent in size, I'm sure I'll fit." Grabbing the bottle, he moved over to your tub to set it up as you stood up and shut the bathroom door.

"If you don't fit with me in it I'll sit on you." Winking at him, Ben shook his head. "I'm gonna light the candles." Grabbing the lighter from your drawer, you turned on the few that was on the counter, then the rest in the tub that were accessible.

"I think we should have dinner at Cafe Naboo." Ben said. "I may have asked my grandmother to reserve a table-"

"Aww, really?!" You shrieked.

"Mhm." Turning around, he moved to you, grabbing your blouse (as you had changed back into your school uniform) and unbuttoned it. "The same table as before."

"Aww, Ben..." Smiling up at him, he removed your shirt as you went to undo his.

Undressing each other, the two of you submerged into the tub, you sitting on the opposite end, in between Ben's legs as you had your knees pulled in. "For the summer, I was thinking we travel a bit. Revisit Endor, go to Coruscant...maybe even Alderaan."

"Ooo, Alderaan...how fancy." You wiggled your brows, Ben reaching over and grabbing your hands, pulling you closer.

"Mhm, my mom has a vacation home there. We could go." He softly spoke, lifting a hand and lying it on your cheek as he rubbed it with his thumb.

"That sounds absolutely wonderful." You nearly whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. "How about the beach?" You asked, leaning back and looking at him.

"The beach is on the list." He nodded.

"A list?" Raising your brow, he nodded. "What else is on this so called list?"

"Well...there's plenty of worthy places...but I think the one I'm most excited to take you to is..." Leaning forward, Ben grinned as you held his shoulders.

"Is? What is it?" You curiously asked with a small laugh.

"Hmm..." Leaning into your ear, he whispered. "Disney World-"

"Disney World?!" You shouted, jumping in your spot as a Ben laughed. "Oh my gosh, Ben! Disney World?!" Nearly splashing the bubbled water around, Ben couldn't help but continue to laugh at your reaction.

"Yes. I know you've been dying to go, aside from Paris but Paris can wait a bit more. I'm taking you to Disney." He winked.

"This is a prank, right? This is a cruel joke you're-"

"I already asked your parents and they said yes...after much convincing to your father." He nodded as you squealed, pulling him into a tight hug and leaving multiple kisses on his cheek.

"Aw, this is so great, I'm so excited!" Turning around, you laid against him as his arms wrapped around you. "You are the best, Solo."

Pressing a kiss against your hair, Ben rested his head against the wall of the shower. "Anything for you, babe."

. . .

"This is so lovely...this day is so lovely. I can't get over it." Staring up at the night sky as you and Ben were now at Cafe Naboo, waiting for dessert, Ben gazed at you.

"Me too..." Looking down at him and seeing the longing look in his eyes, you blushed. "I'll never get over you."

Giggling, you shook your head, Ben's own popping up as he had slouched forward from admiring you. "Almost four months in and you make everyday feel like I'm falling in love all over again..." You breathed, stirring the ice in your drink with a straw.

Growing wide eyed, Ben leaned forward. "I do?"

Nodding your head with a small hum, you took a sip before leaning into your palm, shifting your eyes to look at him. "It's so cheesy..."

"I-I don't mind cheesy! I love it!" He eagerly nodded as you laughed.

"Good, because it's every single day that I'm with you, I find something new to love." You admitted, the sensation in your chest making the heat rise to your cheeks. "A new freckle I find, a face you make when reacting, a different laugh...it's like there's always something about you that I miss and find and it's so lovely."

Staring at you as he felt his heart race, you smiled to yourself as you went back to stirring your straw. "R-really?"

"Really..." Slowly looking back at him, you gave him a sweet smile.

"Did you...find something today?"

Nodding your head, you sat up straight. "You have a freckle on your left butt cheek."

"I do?!" Growing more red in his cheeks, you shook your head as you sniggered.

"No, I don't know, I haven't really looked. I should, maybe that'll be tomorrow's." You winked as he sat back in his seat and rubbed his face. "I did notice that when you get shy, and you blush, your eyebrows lightly scrunch up out of embarrassment...even when it's nothing embarrassing. Sometimes it's more prominent than others. Like right now. There's no need to be embarrassed, you have a cute butt."

"Thanks..." He muttered, the dessert arriving as the two of you dug in.

"Ben, you are such a mess." Shaking your head as chocolate fudge dripped from the edge of his lip, you reached forward and wiped it. "How does this always happen?" You chuckled, licking it away from your thumb as Ben shook his head.

"For that exact reason." He pointed with his spoon, taking the last bite.

"You perv." Shaking your head, you wiped your thumb with the cloth on your lap.

"This perv has one more thing for you." Standing up, he reached a hand, you grabbing and standing up.

"And that is?" You questioned.

"Paddle boats." He grinned as you instantly smiled, excitement coursing through your veins as the two of you walked off.

"Aw, Ben!" You jumped. "Just like that one time..."

"Except, when I lean in to kiss you, I'm actually going to kiss you." He said as you blushed.

"So you _were_ trying to kiss me..."

"And you were, too." He winked as you took in a deep breath. Walking to the swan boats and carefully getting in, you trying not to fall as you had been in heels, the two of you paddled off. "We can watch the sunset." Ben smiled as the two of you paddled.

"Perfect." You beamed, the two of you getting the boat to the center and stopping, Ben reaching his hand over to your own, interlocking fingers. "You know, I wouldn't change this for the world." He said, looking over at you.

Turning your head and gazing at him, you sweetly smiled, the two of you leaning in. "Neither would I."

"I love you." He muttered against your lips.

Just about to close the kiss, you grinned, "I know."


	44. Epilogue: Spring Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more 'chapter' before CB is done; sorry this took so long but I hadn't had the chance to finish writing the very last epilogue! Enjoy!

"Spring break, I can almost taste it." Finn said, eyeing the clock as it ticked. Waiting for the bell to ring. "It's almost here."

"Just one minute..." Poe said, sitting beside him and watching the wall clock.

"Come on..." Rey muttered. The three were sat in the library, Finn and Poe escaping their classes to be with Rey as you and Ben were...well, doing what you two did best.

"Mmm..." You hummed, arms wrapped over Ben's shoulders, bringing the two of you as close as you could while you straddled him.

"Shhh..." Ben hushed against the kiss, leaning his back against a book shelf as his hands were placed on you--one on your lower back and the other grasping your thigh.

"If we keep...doing this...we'll never get things done." You muttered, lips being magnets to his own as they constantly found their way back onto them. "But your lips, ugh, they're so kissable..."

"I know." He grinned, you unwrapping your arms and shoving him, although still kissing.

"Cocky." Holding onto his face, both of Ben's hands went onto your thighs, sliding up underneath your skirt and grabbing tightly onto your rear as you jumped. "And touchy feely."

"Don't act surprised." Feeling his fingers slide underneath your underwear, a small whimper left your lips as he grabbed on once again.

"Ben..." You mumbled.

"I rather be touching skin." Pressing his lips against yours, your hands went into his hair.

"You have a bad habit of putting...your fingers in my underwear...in public." You breathed, leaning back to look at him as he smirked.

"And you like it-"

"Shhh!" Covering his mouth, you shook your head. "I'm innocent, remember?" You winked.

"Right, and I'm the devil who turned you." He rolled his eyes, pressing one more kiss against your lips as the bell had rung.

"What can I say?" Removing his hands from you, you stood up. "You're addictive." Winking, you turned around and went to grab your bag, purposefully bending forward.

"You love not wearing shorts." He scoffed the slightest.

"Well, how else are your hands going to get inside?" You asked as you looked over at him, Ben biting his lip as you then stood straight. "Come on, boner boy." Sticking a hand out, Ben rolled his eyes.

"I have learned to have better control. It's been almost half a year, I am better." He stated, taking your hand and standing up, but not letting go. "Plus..." Pulling you to him, he whispered in your ear, "you enjoy it more than I do."

Growing wide eyed at his statement, Ben kissed your cheek before walking on, pulling you with him. "I really hate that you're right."

"You're just as bad as me, baby." Rolling your eyes, you quickly followed along. Now that spring break had started, you and the gang had gotten temporary jobs at a new water park that had opened in Alderaan. No thanks to Leia, whose--what she likes to call aunt and uncle--owned the place, was able to get you all a job for the week to make some money. 

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" You asked, looking up at Ben as the two of you walked through the crowded halls, trying to make your way to the front.

"Yeah...yeah I am." He nodded. "Although being a lifeguard shouldn't be so hard. Poe will be one, too."

"Oh, me and Rey work on the water slides. Finn is with the ice cream stand, apparently that new girl, you know...Rose? She's working there too." You stated.

"Rose...the one who has been hanging a lot with Finn and Rey?" Nodding your head, Ben lifted his brows. "My question is, who will she end up with."

Smacking his chest, you chuckled. "Shut up, I think our relationship is enough for the time being. I'm sure it overwhelms them." You grinned, Ben leaning over and kissing the top of your head.

"Without a doubt, especially when they have to be careful now. Never know what they're gonna walk into-"

"Shh!" You chuckled. "It's enough that Poe walked in on us in his bedroom at that one party!" You loudly whispered, Ben looking off with a smirk.

"Ah, right. Screw your girlfriend in your best friends bedroom. I think we should check that off the list." Ben grinned, you shaking your head as the two of you finally made your way out of the sea of students and onto the steps. "My next goal is on or behind the bleachers."

"Was the locker room not enough?" You questioned. "Or the gym when everyone was outside? Or the damn janitors closet?"

"Babe," Grabbing onto your upper arms, he shook his head, "we started off in a hotel...we didn't start off in your bedroom or mine. It was bound to happen."

"I should've known better." Peeling his hands from you, you walked around, down the steps before turning. "You are so dirty."

"Never said I was pure." He shrugged, walking over to you, wrapping an arm over your shoulders and turning you to walk with him.

"There you two are." Rey breathlessly spoke. "You guys coming to Poe's? He's doing a small barbecue with the gang and his group of blockheads called jocks." She wiggled her brows as you laughed.

"Sure, why not." You nodded, looking at Ben and seeing him shrug.

"We're going into the pool, you guys should, too!" She pointed before running off, joining Finn and Poe to ride together.

"I guess we're going to be seeing and being in lots of pools these next couple days." You said to Ben.

"At least today we can be in one together. Tomorrow, you and I will be separated." Ben said. "Sometimes I wonder if Bail did that on purpose."

"He knows how you are." You chuckled. "You'd be too distracted."

"And you won't with Rey?" He asked, the two of you walking to his car.

"It's not like I have to watch out for lives and make sure no one drowns. I just tell when people to go down the slide." You winked.

"Lucky..." Ben sighed. "Well, I guess I'm going to enjoy today."

. . .

"Alright, spring break!" Poe exclaimed, you and Ben were amongst Rey, Finn and a few others before Ben stood up and removed his shirt.

"You wanna go in?" He asked, you looking at the water and seeing most of the team on the shallow end, knowing very well that left you with the deep end.

"Uh...I rather-"

"It'll be okay, I won't let go of you." Ben reassured, sticking a hand out as you took in a deep breath. Nodding, you stood up. Smiling, he grabbed onto your hand as you placed it on his. Untying the robe from your waist, lying it beside his shirt as you then took off your sunglasses, Ben guided you over to the deep end of the pool. Going in first and standing on the built in bench, he kept his hold on your hand, waving for you to join him.

Stepping in, Ben held on until the two of you sat beside one another, you taking in deep breaths before Ben wrapped an arm around your waist. "I'm glad I am not a lifeguard." You chuckled. "I'd be the worst."

"It's okay, you have me." He winked, kissing your cheek as you nudged him. "You know...I can't help but think of that time you and I went into my pool-"

"And I made a complete full of myself?" You raised your brows but Ben shook his head.

"No, no. I wanted to kiss you so badly then." He admitted. "To feel your lips against mine, to calm your nerves and to hold you close. But you weren't mine." Ben sighed. "I wanted you to feel safe and know that I wouldn't let you drown no matter what."

"Ben..." You breathed.

"You also looked really...really good in that one piece. It was almost see through, I'm sure I would've-"

"Okay, now you killed the mood." Shoving your hand against his face, he laughed, only to pull you on to his lap.

"I love you." He muttered against your neck as he kissed it, resting his forehead on your shoulder as his arms wrapped around your waist.

Gliding your fingers through his hair before kissing the top of his head, you quietly spoke, "I love you, too."

"Hey! You two lovebirds! Come join us!" Rey called out as she was in the pool with a few guys, just about to play volleyball.

Lifting his head up, you looked over as Ben spoke, "I think we're good here." Kissing your cheek, Ben brought you closer as Rey gagged.

"Your loss!"

Spending the rest of the afternoon sitting next to one another, here and there coming out of the water to eat and what not, the two of you found yourselves inside Poe's house watching Rey and Poe play Mario Kart. "You can do it, Rey!" You cheered.

"Nah, Poe, you can beat her!" Ben called out as you smacked his chest with a small laugh. Sitting pressed against him as you were now wearing one of his shirts as a dress, you sat on your legs as Ben had an arm around your waist.

"What a great brother you are!" Rey called over her shoulder as Ben kicked out one of his legs but missed her by a smidgen.

Watching the two as you ended up at the edge of the couch leaning forward and chanting, you fell back and clapped as Rey had beat Poe by a few seconds. "Hah! I told you she'd win!" You pointed at Ben as he rolled his eyes, standing up and moving to Poe.

"Let me try." Ben nodded to the joystick, Poe shamefully handing it over before sitting next to you.

"She's gonna kick his ass." Poe whispered to you, nodding your head as you bit the nail on your thumb.

Eagerly watching the two as you clearly chanted for Rey, the two were neck at neck, constantly distracting one another to get the other to lose. "Stop it!" Rey called out.

"No way! I'm so going to win!" Ben laughed.

Watching as they were reaching the end of their last lap, Ben in the lead, you quietly walked up to him. Pinching his butt, he jumped, causing you to run back as Rey cheered. "Haha! I win!" She grinned as Ben glared, only to turn his attention to you.

"That's because your rude best friend pinched my ass!" He snapped as you bit your inner lip, trying not to laugh.

"I did nothing..." You lifted your hands, Ben only handing the remote to Finn as he went to race Rey. "Absolutely nothing, right Poe?"

"I didn't see anything." He shrugged, but Ben moved closer to you, only to grab onto your waist and pick you up.

"I didn't do anything!" You shouted but Ben already had you over his shoulder.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow." Ben waved, grabbing your bag and walking towards the front.

"Benjamin!" You exclaimed, kicking your legs but Ben wrapped an arm over the back of your knees. "Ben, put me down!"

"No way, you made me lose." Smacking your rear, you jumped, eyes widening.

"Ben..." You groaned.

"Shhh, no one saw that." He smirked, walking out and over to his car. "Don't worry, no one can think you're kinky."

Gasping, you shouted, "Ben!"

. . .

"Thank you all for coming to Alderaan and helping with our spring break opening of the water park. Doors will be opening in five, I expect you all to be at your stations." Breha spoke before dismissing you and the rest of the crowd. It wasn't just you, Ben, Rey, Finn and Poe, rather...a bunch of others.

"A week of this, how do you feel about that?" Rey asked, walking turning to face you. "Sitting under an umbrella for a good five hours, small breaks."

"I need the sun, winter was insanely cold." You shrugged, putting on the necessary cap on that came with your uniform--a white one piece swimsuit, blue shorts, and a jacket if you wanted. But, for now, the jacket was around your waist. "Plus, we get access after hours and after our shift on the water slides, pool, and lazy river." Nodding with a grin, Rey lifted her brows.

"That is true, but are you going to actually spend it in the water? Or are you and Ben going to sneak off?" She asked, crossing her arms, but before you could answer, Ben popped up next to you and wrapped an arm over your shoulder.

"Of course we're sneaking away." He grinned, free hand grabbing onto your chin and turning your head.

"Please, don't kiss in front of me-" Seeing the two of you kiss, Rey rolled her eyes, "-never mind."

Letting out a laugh, you removed Ben's hand and held onto it. "Do you mind if I walk Ben to his post?" You asked Rey, only for her to wave a hand before walking off.

"Just don't take to long." Seeing her leave your sight, you faced Ben.

"My first break is at ten." You smiled up at him, Ben nodding.

"You know, there's this nice cavern that the lazy river goes through and there's a spot behind the waterfall that no one can see..." He hinted, you shaking your head as you knew where he was going with this.

"Of course, we can meet there." Rolling your eyes, you pulled Ben with you and walked on.

"Look who needed to be walked over by his girlfriend." Poe teased, seeing the two of you appear by the wave pool, near the spot Ben would be taking his post. "First, she defends you from Hux, now...this?"

Flicking Poe's forehead, Ben shook his head. "Shut up."

"Hey, did you ever expect Ben to be this way?" Poe asked you as you grabbed onto your water bottle that was clipped to your shorts.

"What way?" You asked before taking a sip.

" _This_ way, I mean, compared to the Ben we saw the first day he started..." Poe trailed, you smiling.

"Oh, yeah...nope, not at all. That Ben was so shy and innocent. Now Ben's all...brooding and dirty." You shrugged, Ben only gasping.

"Whoa, you're far more dirty than I am-"

"She's totally not." Poe shook his head, you looking up at Ben and smirking, as if saying I told you so. "Y/n is too pure."

"Says you..." Ben mumbled, you only lifting his hand to kiss it before letting go.

"I need to head to my post, I'll talk to you guys later." You waved, Ben sighing as he stuck his hand through his hair and pushed it back.

"She's totally not pure." Poe said, Ben's eyes widening as if saying 'no shit'. "It's so obvious. I did catch the two of you in my room."

"Yet, every time I point that out to Rey, she refuses to believe it. She comes up with some utter bullshit to dismiss it. She accidentally walked in on us and acted as if we were wrestling. Wrestling. Poe, she is still in denial." Ben shook his head.

"Wrestling...one time she told me she heard you guys humming to a song." He laughed. "You guys are so indiscreet!"

Climbing up his seat, Ben looked down at Poe. "Whoa, hey, not my fault she decides to stay home when she knows it's my time with y/n. What does she expect?" Shrugging, he pulled his sunglasses on, removing the uniform jacket and leaving him in the white tank top that came with the dark blue shorts.

Finding your way over to your post, knowing very well you were going to have to climb some stairs, your attention got caught on the slushy stand. Seeing Hux standing there, preparing it, you swallowed. It had been at least five months since you had last spoken to him, the boy making sure to keep his distance as you had told him to.

Taking in a deep breath, you contemplated whether or not to stop by and be civil. But then you remembered, he still hadn't apologized about the incident with the gang and Ben. Sighing, knowing very well he had done that solely because you told him to stay away, you turned your attention and walked away. There was no good in speaking to him. At least, not now.

"It's about time, we open in like thirty seconds." Rey said, looking at her watch as you took in a deep breath.

"I had to take that damn flight of stairs to get here so relax." Plopping onto your seat parallel to her, Rey rolled her eyes.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't walked Ben." She held her head high as you shook your own.

"I'm not making him walk all the way up here just to go back down, to his post. I'm not cruel." You stated, seeing people slowly come in before crowds appeared. "What's cruel is that many people coming in." Pointing, Rey looked over and sighed.

"Well, here's to day one."

. . .

The two hours had gone by faster than you though, the second it had hit 10 on your watch you had switched out with someone from your forty five minute break. Lucky for you, you weren't hungry nor were you exhausted. Actually, you were fine. You just didn't want to be under the sun for so long--even if you were under an umbrella.

Coming to a stop at the waterfall, eyeing it and not seeing Ben there, you sighed. It was nothing but a cavern with water falling to block the lazy river from your view. It was more of a tunnel on their end of the waterfall.

Just about to pull out your phone, you instantly felt a pair of arms around you as soft lips pressed against your cheek. "Hello." Ben sighed as you let out a breath in relief.

"Hi..." You smiled, Ben moving to kiss your neck. "How's it so far?"

"Good...no one's drowned. Everyone seems to have common sense and watch their children." He mumbled against your skin. "You?"

"Good, good...Rey and I talk here and there but other than that we're a bit too busy since so many people came today."

"Spring opening." Ben simply spoke, turning around and moving his grip onto your face. "Maybe we can do the lazy river once our shift ends." He grinned, pressing a soft kiss against your lips as you nodded.

Wrapping your arms over his shoulders, his hands moved down your body to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. You knew very well your forty five minute break was going to be spent this way, you expected it.

Actually, it was this way for the entire week you had worked there. Every morning you left him at his post, went up to yours and sat with Rey, spent your break with Ben and once your shift was over, you went into the pool or on the slides. Of course, the gang was smart enough not to do the same rides over and over, just a few to space it out. Some days just skipping and deciding to hangout in the break area or walk around.

And, of course, there was Hux. There had been times he would stare at you and you could feel it, simply ignoring it and walking off. Even Ben had noticed it and he'd hold onto your hand.

"Jeez, the week had gone by quick. Tomorrow's the last day." You pointed out, walking alongside the group.

"I may just get a summer job here." Rey shrugged. "Breha has been hinting at it."

"I was thinking the same." Finn nodded. "My stand isn't bad, people aren't as annoying and it's air conditioned."

"Well, unlike you two, I've gotta deal with this pain in the ass." Poe said, smacking the back of Ben's head as you laughed. "He really likes starting trouble with me."

"Wouldn't doubt it." Rey shook her head.

"Seems about Ben." You added.

"What's new? Ben's always being a shit around you." Finn snickered as Poe glared.

"It's fun. He gets bothered easily." Ben said with a smile, patting the top of Poe's head. "Now stop whining and let's enjoy the water park before school bites us in the ass again Monday."

Making your way to one of the single rider water slides, you jumped from ride to ride. A few being two seater--you first going with Rey on one, the another one Ben. Then there were family ones that the five of you went on, Finn nearly flying out of it. From that, you did a few more single slides before going to the racing one.

"I'm so going to beat your ass!" Poe shouted over to Ben, the two eager to win.

"Yeah right! I am!" Ben called out.

"No way, you two are gonna lose to me!" Finn added, getting ready.

"I don't know what you idiots are going on about, I'm clearly going to win." Rey snickered.

"Ready...set..." Hearing the four argue, the second the man said 'go' was the second you were off.

"Shit!" Rey called out, the four of them instantly pushing themselves down their slide.

Wearing a wide grin on your lips as you made it to the bottom first, you instantly stood up and cheered. "Aha! I win!" You exclaimed, Rey hitting second, Finn getting third, Ben at fourth and Poe at fifth. The complete opposite order of how they claimed to win.

"You know, I'm just glad she won and not any of you." Ben spoke with a shrug, walking over to you as he grabbed your hand, you grinning up at him.

"Coming from the one who was in fourth." Rey arched an eyebrow.

"At least I wasn't last." Ben pointed at Poe as Poe frowned the entire time the five of you left the slide.

"Leave me alone..." He grumbled.

"Let's head to the lazy river to finish it up, the suns going down." Finn pointed out as you nodded in agreement, the five of you walking off.

Making it to one of the stops, each of you grabbed a floaty and got inside, Poe and Finn shoving one another as Rey casually sat on hers, drifting off while Ben decided you two grabbed a double one to sit together.

Sitting beside him as you had put your sunglasses on, Ben reached over and pinched your cheeks. "I'm gonna miss this." He spoke, breaking the silence as the two of you drifted along the lazy river. "Although I had to deal with a few adults that didn't know how to swim, it wasn't so bad."

"We could always come during the weekends." You spoke, eyes shut behind the sunglasses as you were getting some sun, lying there beside him as Ben's finger now stroked your cheek. He had his eyes set on you rather than the scenery around him. He had seen it enough during the week, it couldn't hurt to not look this one time. You were far more intriguing, even if he saw you everyday. That didn't stop him. "Just us two, of course." You smiled as Ben lightly gasped.

Scooting closer, he grinned. "Oh, really?"

"Mhm." You hummed, opening your eyes and lifting up your glasses to look at him. "It'd be fun." Leaning over, you pecked his lips before leaning back, lowering your glasses.

"Well, then this time we can race and I'm sure I'll beat you." Ben smirked, you lifting a brow and looking over at him.

"Is that so?" You asked, a tilt in your head as Ben nodded. "We'll see about that." You smirked back.  Ben knew very well how competitive you were. And he wasn't going to doubt you.

Intertwining his fingers with your own, laying back on the double float, the two of you drifting along the flowing water behind the trio, enjoying the calmness of it all as the sun soon began to set. It gave you more of a reason to look forward to summer.


	45. Epilogue: Prom/Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and being here to experience the story! I can't believe this is it, the final part! Thanks again <3

It was a list of trial and errors, hundreds of ideas swooping through Ben's mind but not a single felt right. At first, he was going to use the cheer team to help him, but that felt cliche. Then, he was going to try something in chemistry, but that sounded lame. None of his ideas were good enough. Nothing compared to Valentine's day.

But then one idea came to mind. It took him a month to plan, but in the end, he was satisfied with the outcome. Ben had written a number of poems that helped him out, specifically bolding out words from each. Leaving one at a time in your locker everyday, a stack began to grow. So far you had a weeks worth from the last one you received.

Opening up your locker and seeing the small paper fall out, you picked it up and read it, a smile growing on your lips as you couldn't help but blush. Ben's poetry got better and better. "A bold question mark..." You bit your lips, shutting your locker after as you had left a few books in it. "What is he trying to do?" You muttered before placing the paper in your binder, turning around and walking off.

Exiting the school building and aiming for the parking lot, you saw Ben leaning there, waiting with a journal in his hand and a pen tapping against his bottom lip. Smiling, you rushed over, pulling the paper out and placing it in his book. "Ah, I see you've got the last one."

"Last one?" You asked. "Ben, what is it?" You smiled. "You've given me...eight poems. What are you trying to do?"

"That is for you to figure out." Tapping your nose with his pen, he shut his journal with the pen inside before opening the passenger door for you. "You'll decode the message soon." Leaning down and kissing your cheek, you rolled your eyes before getting into his car.

You were eager to find out what it was that the poems were hiding, and now that you had the last one, you wanted to solve it. "Alright, what is it?" You breathed, pulling out all the poems from your binder, placing them in order as you crossed your legs, sprawling the papers on your notebook.

"Just look at them." Ben said as he drove off, over to your house.

"The bold words, huh..." Biting your thumb, you narrowed your brows.

"Mhm." Ben hummed.

"Okay..." Reading them out as you searched for them, Ben felt his heart race. "Will...you..." Eyeing the third poem, you pointed the word out, "go...to..prom-" Instantly gasping, you continued on, "with...me...question mark!" You exclaimed. "Ben, of course!" You shrieked, jumping up and pulling him into a hug.

"I-I'm driving-"

"Sorry!" Instantly letting go, you pressed a strong kiss to his cheek. "Ben! This is so sweet! This is so creative, I love it!" Eyeing the poems, you held them to your chest as you felt your eyes burn. "This is...the cutest thing...anyone has ever done for me."

"Just for you, moonlight." Looking over, he saw you rub your eyes. "Aw, I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"N-no, I'm fine." You breathed, fanning yourself. "I'm fine...gosh, I love you." Leaning back over, you kissed his cheek again. "I can't wait for prom! I bought my dress already even though I wasn't even sure if I was going or not." You laughed. "I was just eager and the dress was gorgeous!"

"Well of course you were going, I already lost one chance with you, I'm not losing this one." Ben said, reaching over and placing his hand on your knee as you smiled.

"The Star Girl book is getting so stuffed with all the new poems I keep adding, sooner or later you're gonna need a book two." You pointed out, moving your hand to hold onto his.

"Oh, I'm sure there'll be plenty of volumes." Ben sniggered. "The band kind of hates me because I've been writing more poetry than actual songs..."

"Well, they just don't know what it's like to be in love." You shrugged.

"Obviously so..." He breathed with a nod, coming to a light. "They have no idea." Leaning over to you, your free hand held his cheek as you pressed a kiss to his lips. Already six months in to your relationship and it still felt like it had only begun just yesterday.

. . .

"I can't believe it!" You shrieked, standing in your room and eyeing yourself in the mirror. "Proms already here..."

"Aw, honey, you look beautiful!" Your mother clasped her hands, eyeing you in your getup. Dressed in a soft pink gown, hair in loose curls as you wore simple makeup and jewelry. "I can't wait to take photos of you and Ben. Oh, he must be handsome." She smiled as you blushed at the idea. The last time you saw Ben in a suit was...well, homecoming. And he was soaking wet.

Hearing light panting, you turned around and crouched. "Hi, Cosmo!" You grinned, picking him up. "Oh, I wish I could take you to prom. You'd look so cute in a little tux! Kind of like that pug in Men in Black..." You thought, only to laugh.

Hearing the doorbell ring, you shrieked, instantly placing Cosmo down. "Oh, he's here! Honey, open the door!" Your mother called out.

"Why?!"

"Open the damn door!" She shouted as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Ugh! Is Ben seriously taking my little princess to prom?!" Rolling your eyes at your father's words, your mother waved a hand at you.

"Ignore him, he's still in denial. He tells me every night how happy he is for you and Ben, he just won't admit it to your face." Your mother winked at you as your eyes widened, a smile growing on your face. "Oh, I should go see him! He must look so cute!" Rushing off, Cosmo followed her as you let out a breath.

"Alright, this is no big deal. You've done this a number of times. Long dresses and heels, you can do this, it's no big deal! Just don't trip!" You assured yourself in the mirror, letting out a breath and nodding. "Oh, this is going to be one of the greatest nights of your life." Turning and grabbing your clutch bag, you exited your room.

"Ben, look at you!" Your mother gasped. "You look so handsome! Aw, and the little pink rose in your pocket." Covering her mouth as if she were going to cry, your mother shook her hands. "This is so perfect. I'm so excited for the two of you."

"I'm not." Your father shook his head, only for your mother to pinch his arm. "Hey!"

"Thank you, ma'am." Ben bowed his head. "I just want my moon-" Cutting himself off, he instantly corrected himself, "Y/n to enjoy the night."

"My moonlight...oh, how precious, I will never get over that." Shaking her head, she felt a few involuntary tears slip. "Y/n should be coming down in any second." She nodded.

Feeling his cheeks burn at the slip up, Ben's heart began to race as he heard your heels hitting the staircase, only to look up. The sight of you made an audible gasp leave his lips as the corsages box nearly slipped from his grip. Holding your dress and looking down, making sure you wouldn't fall, your mother nearly shoved Ben to the edge of the staircase.

Coming to a stop at the last step of the stairs, you looked at Ben and smiled. "Hi." You simply greeted.

Gulping, Ben blinked. "He-hey...uh, hello. Hi." He nervously spoke as you chuckled. "I, uh, got you this..." Lifting up the box, he fiddled with it before getting the small set up out, gently getting a hold of your hand and putting the corsage on. "Here."

Grinning the entire time as he frantically put it on, hands shaking, you instantly pulled him into a kiss, your mother's mouth falling open as she had been taking photos while your father turned away, a small grunt leaving his mouth. "Thank you, sunshine." Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you rubbed away the lipstick stain with your thumb.

"Uh...yeah, yeah no...no problem." He stuttered as you went to grab his hand.

"Bye mom, bye dad." You waved, pulling Ben with you as he followed, almost as if he had hearts floating above his head with how much love he was feeling.

"Bye, sweetie! Enjoy! Take a lot of photos!" Your mother called out.

"Don't do anything funny to my daughter! I have my eyes on you!" Your father called out, but you were quick to shut the door in time.

"I'm so excited." You spoke, walking alongside him to his car. You insisted he not rent a limo, even though it would've been nice to go with the gang. But, you wanted to go with just him and they respected that. After all, they'd be meeting you up there, anyways.

"Yeah...me too..." He spoke with a mesmerized look, gazing down at you as he came to a stop at his car.   
Smiling up at him, you pulled him into a kiss, holding onto his tie as his arms dangled there. He had never seen anything as beautiful as you were at the moment. Of course, you were always jaw dropping, but now looking like the absolute goddess you were in his eyes, he couldn't help but be in a daze.

"Come on, lets go." Helping him open the passenger door, you got inside as Ben helped you with your dress before shutting the door. Nearly stumbling over his own feet as he went to the driver's side, he was quick to leave your driveway and head to the school.

"Who said you can't have two dates." Rey winked, wrapping her arms over Finn and Poe's shoulders.

"Two dates, huh..." Phasma raised a brow. "All I know is Dameron better save me a dance." She pointed a finger. "The least you could do for bugging me to get enough shots of you in the yearbook."

"Hey, better me than Hux." Poe shrugged.

"Very true." Phasma nodded, only to gasp. "It's them!" She pointed, watching you and Ben walk hand in hand, you laughing at something as he smiled at you. "Fuck it, my phone camera will work." Lifting it up and taking a photo, the other three eyed you and Ben.

"So, is y/n and Ben the-"

"Shh!" Phasma hushed Poe. "You'll see."

"Hey, guys." You greeted, coming to a stop as they all stared at you. "What?"

"Nothing!" The four chimed before turning around and walking up the steps. Looking up at Ben, he shrugged, the two of you following.

The first thing you did was take photos, as a group and just with Ben. Although it took up a good amount of time, you didn't seem to mind. The fact that there was a photo booth seemed more fun to you. After that, you all went to your table, Phasma joining as you guys ate before deciding to dance.

At first, Ben insisted you go with the gang as he sat behind, not really into dancing, but after a good five songs, you went back to him. "Hey, dance with me." You held his shoulder as you looked over at him, Ben looking up and sighing.

"Y/n, I don't dance that good-"

"That's bull, you beat me in DDR!" You laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Come on, prom only happens once." Giving him a pleading look, Ben sighed and stood up.

"Fine..." Grabbing your hand, the two of you went to the dance floor. As awkward as it was at first, Ben grew into it and had fun as Poe and Finn had encouraged him. Then, the slow songs came on.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he held your waist, you swayed to the music as you eyed the crowed around you. Poe decided this would be the dance he'd give Phasma before she'd start bugging him as Rey danced with Finn. Smiling to yourself, you lowered your arms and rested the side of your head against Ben's chest. Although not a word was being said, you enjoyed the sound of nothing but the music filling your ears as Ben's heart throbbed against his chest. It was calming.

"Alright! It's time to announce this year's prom king and queen." One of the teachers spoke, you lifting your head and looking over as everyone cleared the dance floor. "Phasma, please come up to announce."

Watching her, you wrapped an arm around Ben's waist, leaning your head against him as he held you close. "Okay...your prom king and queen are..." Holding onto the envelope and pulling out the card, your grip and Ben's suit tightened. You had only hoped Phasma didn't actually go through with her plan. Of course you hadn't forgotten. "Y/n Kenobi and Ben Solo!"

Covering your face as you shook your head, the crowd cheered as Rey yelled above them alongside Finn and Poe. "Was this her idea again?" Ben asked, you nodding. "Of course. Well, come on, my queen." Folding his arm for you to hold, you grabbed on and walked with him.

"I can't believe you actually did this." You whispered to Phasma as she placed the crowns along with sashes.

"I actually didn't." She winked as your eyes widened. "They, the student body, picked. So, hah." Standing up straight, she moved to the mic. "How about a dance for our king and queen?"

Hearing the crowd cheer, Ben grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. "Please tell me why people would vote me?" He asked as the two of you moved to the center of the dance floor.

"It's because you're not Hux." You winked, Getting a hold of his hand and shoulder as he held your waist with his free one.

"That sounds reasonable." Kissing your forehead, the two of you danced, crowd soon filling around you as you spent the rest of the event at the center.

. . .

Digging your fingers into Ben's hair as his forearms rested beside your head, your leg wrapped around his as he nearly lied against you, your lips moving feverishly against his. "Now, I bet you didn't think we'd be able to do it here." Ben spoke against your lips, you smacking the back of his head.

"Shh, I'm starting to believe traditional just isn't our thing," Pressing kisses against his lips as your arms wrapped around his neck, Ben's hand moved to your cheek. "Plus, your sneaky behind would keep a pillow in here." Pointing at the one behind your head, Ben smirked.

"Well, I have to be prepared. Wasn't like we rented a hotel room and you can get pretty horny-"

"I do not!" You exclaimed, smacking his chest before pointing. " _You_ do, Solo. The second after we finished our dance, you just had to rush us out of there. Tell me, what turned you on? Was it me in a crown? Was it the fact that we were dancing really close?"

"No. The simple sight of you did." Ben winked, leaning down to press kisses against your neck.

"Okay, okay, come on." Patting his back so he would sit up, you handed him his underwear as he handed you yours. Sliding yours back on, you reached over to the front seats and grabbed your bra, clipping it back on before sitting beside him. "This was a lovely night." You said, crossing one leg, resting it on his as Ben moved an arm over your shoulders. "Aside from the fact that we almost got caught in the student parking lot and had to come out here."

"Luckily Cafe Naboo is closed and the lake side parking is empty." He grinned as you rolled your eyes.

"How romantic. You've wanted to do this for a while, haven't you?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Maybe..."

Shaking your head with a small laugh, you got a hold of his chin and kissed him. Reaching over to grab your crowns, you put yours on before placing Ben's on his head. "To think we graduate in like a month..." You breathed.

"Still bummed out I came the last year." Ben mumbled.

"Hey, at least you came. Look at us, we're together." You smiled at him, moving to sit on him as you kissed the tip of his jaw. "And we're gonna go to the same college...except be in different dorms, but that's okay, we won't be all that far off from one another!"

Nodding his head, Ben wrapped an arm around your waist as his free hand fiddled with your bra strap. "Yeah...that's true. I just, I wanna enjoy this summer. There won't be school and I wanna do a lot with you."

"Like what?" You questioned with a grin.

"Well, aside from sex-" Smacking his chest, Ben only laughed. "I wanna take you the movies, the park, the water park again. Museums, the beach, we've never done the beach." He pointed out as you nodded. "I don't know, everything."

"Well, as long as I'm with you, I'm okay." You nodded, kissing his cheek before wrapping your arms around him, leaning your chin on one of them.

Smiling to himself, he wrapped both arms around you, taking you in. "You know, if you ever left me, it'll be very heart breaking. I mean, I'm clearly way too attached to you and I don't know if you have noticed or not but I really love you."

Leaning back and giving him a look, you shook your head. "Ben, I love you. I'm not leaving you. Ever. I mean, you're needy and all but so am I so where's the worry in that? I love you, okay?" You nodded, holding his cheeks. "God, I really do love you a lot, it's sickening." Shaking your head as Ben sniggered, you pulled him into a kiss.

. . .

"This is it." Poe nodded. "We are finally done with this hell hole! No more uniforms!" Throwing his hands in the air, you shook your head, standing beside him.

"You know, you and I have come a long way with our friendship. I've known you too long, I think it's time we end our friendship." You shrugged as Poe nodded his head.

Laying a hand on your shoulder, he smiled. "You're nothing without me, y/n."

Gasping, you laughed. "Okay, buddy! I think _you're_ nothing without _me_." You pointed a finger but Poe grabbed it and pulled you into a hug.

"How does it feel to have your little sister graduate with you." Rey smirked up to Ben as he rolled his eyes.

"I rather graduate with Kylo than you but sadly he's far more older and too busy being a man." Ben said, shoving Rey away.

"We know you prefer me over Kylo, it's okay, you don't have to admit it." She shrugged, patting his arm as the two of them walked up to you and Poe.

"Correction, I prefer y/n." He grinned, walking away from Rey and over to you.

"O-okay Poe, you're suffocating me." You gasped as he held tightly into you.

"I don't wanna let go, you'll be gone for too long!" He whined as your eyebrows narrowed.

"Gone? We just graduated, college doesn't start until a few months?" You said, Poe only letting go of you and backing up. "Poe...what do you mean?"

"Uh...nothing! Nothing at all." He smiled, give you two thumbs up.

"Hello," Ben greeted, wrapping his arms over your shoulder and kissing your cheek.

"Ben, why is Poe saying I'm gonna be gone for too long?" You asked, Ben snapping his head to Poe as he glared.

"I...don't know?" Ben lied.

Pushing him back, you narrowed your eyes. "Benjamin..."

"Oh, Ben's taking you to Paris." Rey shrugged, seeing Finn walk over as she waved.

"PARIS?!" You shouted, Ben instantly covering your mouth.

"Gosh, Rey, spoil the surprise!" He called over his shoulder as you stared at him with wide eyes.

Lowering his hands, you whispered, "Paris?"

"Yeah, it was supposed to be a damn surprise but I guess not. You know how your parents had bought an apartment over there?" He asked as you nodded. "Well, they wanted to check on it and I suggested we go since you've been wanting to go to Paris since forever..."

Squealing, you grabbed his hands, "We're going to Paris?!"

"It took a lot of convincing on your father's end but your mother-"

"Ben, we're going to Paris! You and I! Ahh!" Clapping, you instantly covered your mouth. "For how long?"

"The whole damn summer, he's stealing you from us!" Rey pointed.

"Yeah, now he's left me with these two!" Poe pointed.

"Woah, hey, nothing wrong with us." Finn glared.

"Of course not!" Poe lied, giving you a pleasing look.

"Oh, Ben! Paris!" You shrieked.

"I saved up since January, all we have to worry about is getting around. Luckily, your parents helped me plan it."

"Is this their graduation gift to me?" You questioned.

"Sort of...more of my gift to you but since I didn't really pay for a place to stay since they own a place, it's more their gift." He shrugged as you smiled.

"Oh, that's okay, I'm just excited to go with you." Kissing his cheek, you wrapped your arms around him. "It's gonna be so fun!"

"As long as you bring her back before college starts." Finn pointed. "It's enough Poe and I will be going to a different college than you three.

"No one told you to apply elsewhere." Ben said.

"Y/n, honey!" Hearing your mother's voice, you looked over, seeing her wave. "Bring Ben with you!"

"Ah, that's our cue. I'll see you guys later at my place!" You waved as you grabbed Ben's hand.

"Look at us, graduated and still together." Ben teased, you nudging him.

"Hey, mom." You greeted, walking up to her.

"A special someone is here and he wants to see you." She smiled, guiding you and Ben along.

"A special someone?" You asked.

"You don't have like, a long lost older sister or something? That'll like, try and steal me away." Rolling your eyes at Ben, he shrugged.

"No, only the obnoxious twins. Unlike you, I don't hide family members." You pointed a finger.

"I didn't hide Kylo! Not my fault he was the family disappointment!" Ben shot back as you snickered.

"There you are!" Your father threw his hands up. "It's about time!"

"Dad, the ceremony just ended." You shook your head.

"I know!" He exclaimed, the twins standing to a side as they were speaking to someone. "Come on, the old man wants to see you and Ben."

"The old man?" Ben questioned, you pulling him with you.

Knowing exactly who, you smiled. "Yeah, the old man." Walking over, your brothers moved to a side. "Or, as your uncle likes to say, old man Ben."

"Old man Ben?" Ben questioned, only for his eyes to widened.

"Y/n!" Seeing the old man, Ben's eyes grew bigger, you unintentionally pulling him with you.

"Gramps!" Pulling the man into a hug, Ben blinked.

"Old man Ben?" He repeated again.

"Hey, gramps, this is Luke's nephew. You know, the son of Han and Leia?" You said, presenting Ben.

"Hmm...oh, yeah! The one they named after me, huh?"

"You're...the old man Ben?" Ben asked.

"Well, it's actually Obi-Wan, but the nickname stuck." He nodded as Ben stared in awe. "You must be the one y/n always gushes about? You know, she talks a whole lot more about you than herself. And that's a surprise, before you stepped into the picture, it was always about her. Dare I mention her brothers."

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head, Ben shaking Obi's hand before letting go. "Hey, you asked me how I was so I told you." You waved a hand before placing it on Ben's chest. "Plus, I've found something more interesting to talk about." You nodded with a smile, a blush creeping on Ben's cheeks.

"It's an...honor to finally meet you." Ben nearly whispered.

"Hey, if her father ever disapproves of your marriage, you can come to me instead and ask for her hand. I'll gladly say yes." Obi teased as you shook your head, resting it against Ben.

"W-will do!"

"Ben!" You laughed.

"Oh, we've gotta set the house up for the party! Come on, let's go." Your mother waved, the twins and your father walking ahead as she grabbed your grandfathers arm.

"Well, it is our last day on these school grounds ever." Ben said.

"Finally." You sighed in relief.

"Hey, be thankful. A lot of wonderful things happened between us, here." Ben pointed a finger as you shook your head.

"I'm just glad that it's over." Turning your head away from the school as you were just about to walk away, someone called out to you.

"Oh, no. We were doing so well!" Ben whined, seeing Hux rush over.

"Hush, maybe he's finally come to his senses." You patted Ben's stomach.

"Before you two go, I want to apologize." Hux spoke, Ben's hold on your hand tightening. "For everything. For cheating on you, for being a...jerk and not the greatest boyfriend. For never attending-"

"Seriously?" Ben glared as you took in a deep breath.

Letting out a small groan, Hux looked at Ben. "I'm sorry for-"

"Being a jealous asshole and sending men to beat me up into a damn coma?" Ben seethed, you only moving your free hand to his arm and squeezing it.

"Yes." Hux breathed. "I apologize for everything I have done to either of you."

"It's about damn time." Ben shook his head, wanting to walk away but you stopped him. "Y/n?"

"It took you long enough." You spoke. "I appreciate it."

"Thank you." Hux bowed his head. "May I..." Taking a step forward, Ben only stood in front of you.

"No way, no cheek kisses or hugs, you've done enough." Ben pointed.

"Ben..." You sighed. "Thank you, Hux."

"Yeah, thank you, now goodbye." Pulling you with him, you shoved Ben, looking over at Hux for a moment and seeing him stick his hands in the pockets of his slacks, his gown already off but cap still on.

"You really hate him, don't you?" You asked Ben.

"No...what makes you say that?" Ben shook his head.

"Hey." Stopping in your tracks, you lied a hand on his cheek. "I love you and only you. It's you. It'll always be you. Okay?"

"I know." Smiling down at you, Ben nodded, leaning down to kiss you after he said, "I love you, moonlight."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments would be lovely :D


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